Part 9
Angel felt wonderfully warm. The rhythmic beat of his pillow soothed the eternal conflict within. His eyes fluttered open to take in his surroundings.
He was once again lying partially atop Cordelia. The soft skin of her torso branded his cheek with her warmth. His feet were practically dangling off the bed. One hand lay to the side and the other…was holding her bare butt. The elastic on her panties was digging into his wrist.
He cursed himself. She had come to him in friendship and he’d taken advantage of her kindness. Again. She deserved better than to be groped in her sleep. He lifted his head and found a pair of hazel eyes watching him.
“Morning.”
“Good Morning.” He blinked. “Umm…sleep well?”
“Surprisingly yes.”
“I guess I had another nightmare.”
“Yeah. The noises woke me up again.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s alright.”
Angel glanced down, his eyes focusing on the way her night shirt was pushed up.
She answered his unspoken question. “You didn’t like the buttons.”
“Ah! Sorry.”
“My shirt met a kinder fate than the blankets.”
He turned his head. The sheet and bedspread were on the floor.
“You’re not big on the barriers when you’re asleep.”
“Body heat provides more warmth than any blanket.”
“You were pretty fidgety last night. You had a hard time getting comfortable. I guess I should be grateful you’re not one of those people who punch their pillow to get it just right.”
“My hands were apparently too busy doing other things.”
“Yeah. I guess you thought my hip wasn’t squeezably soft enough. Not that my butt is that soft ‘cause it so is not.”
“It’s very nice.”
She smiled. “Angel?”
“Yes”
“You do realize your hand is still on my ass, right?”
“Oh god!” He snatched his hand away. “I’m very sorry. I shouldn’t..”
“Hmmph. I guess vampires don’t blush.”
He shook his head in confusion. “Uhh no. Our blood doesn’t circulate.” His eyes refused to look at her. “I am sorry. I…”
“If it eases your conscience any, you’re not the only one with wandering hands. You’re pretty squeezably soft too. At least you were asleep. I don’t have that excuse, but it was only for a second. Not even a whole second, more like half..no..a quarter of a second and I only did it once.”
Angel couldn’t resist smiling at her rambling. “How about we forgive each other?”
“That works for me.” She couldn’t stop her mind from wondering. *If vampires don’t have circulation, how do they get an erection?*
“What?”
Her cheeks flamed. “OK. That was one of those thoughts you were supposed to pretend you didn’t hear.”
“I thought you always said what’s on your mind?”
“I do but…fine. You’re right so answer the lady’s question.”
“The demon animates the body.”
“Then why not breathe or have a beating heart?”
“We can breathe. We just have no use for it. We don’t have use for most of the organs in the body. The sex organ or organs give pleasure. A beating heart doesn’t. Being animated by the demon has its advantages. There is little to no need for recovery time.”
Her cheeks only got redder. “That makes more sense than Giles stammering to us that vampires can get erections because they can. I mean we knew they could. Angelus was proof of that. Hell I felt it last night.” Her eyes widened at what slipped out.
“Not felt felt because there was no feeling of that. Well there was but my hands were no where near that. Then again I guess your butt is technically near that so my hands were too. That’s as close as they got though. I only meant my hip definitely felt it. It’s not my fault you were laying on top of me. I couldn’t exactly avoid feeling it. You know I think I’m going to shut up now and go get ready for school. Yeah that’s what I’m going to do.”
She jumped out of bed, turned off the alarm long before it was set to go off and rushed out of his room.
Angel’s emotions were warring inside him. He was afraid of what his unconscious mind may have done while he slept. His soul was ashamed of his actions while his demon was furious at having slept through it. On top of that, if there had been any doubt about his being functional he could easily resolve it. The image of her soft yet strong body completely beneath him had his body on full alert. He was beginning to share his demon’s anger.
The turn his thoughts took made his worry increase. He needed to know if he’d frightened her. He left his bed in search of answers. He knocked on her door. “Cordy? Can I come in?”
“…”
Testing the door, he found it unlocked and entered. “Cordy, it’s just me.” The sound of running water registered. He sat down on her bed.
Her discarded pajamas caught his attention. The image of her shedding them had ruined the effects of his worry. He was rock hard again. He slipped under her blankets to cover his teenage response. After waiting several minutes, he rested his head on one of her pillows and let his eyes drift shut.
Cordelia took one last appraising look. After another night spent in Angel’s arms, she felt like she was suffering from a permanent case of foot-in-mouth disease. Blushing was becoming a problem too. She took a few deep breaths and straightened her blouse and skirt.
She grabbed a pair of shoes as she walked through her closet. She pushed the pile of blankets out of her way and sat down on the edge of the bed. The blankets went flying a split second before an arm wrapped around her waist and flipped her onto her back causing her to scream at the top of her lungs.
Angel started awake at the sharp cry. He blinked, shocked to find Cordelia beneath him. “Cordy?”
“Dammit Angel! You scared the crap out of me. I thought you were still in bed.”
“Technically I am.”
“I meant your bed, dork. What the hell are you doing in mine?”
“I wanted to ask you if I did anything that scared you last night.”
“Not really but you’re making up for it this morning.”
“Sorry. So is this the way it starts?”
“The first night was like this but last night I got into bed under my own power.”
“You did?”
“Yes. I didn’t want to get flipped again.” Cordelia looked up at Angel, whose body still blanketed her, and started giggling.
Angel stared at the laughing brunette beneath him. As the Scourge of Europe, he’d never elicited this type of response. Even as a vampire with a soul, no woman who’d found herself beneath him ever laughed quite so hard or so long. He couldn’t decide if she was laughing because of him or at him. He should be annoyed, maybe even offended but he wasn’t.
Her beautiful eyes sparkled with joy and her face took on a rosy glow. She was so full of life. It was almost infectious. He waited for her to stop or at least take a breath. “What is so funny?”
Her lungs struggled for air. “I’m sorry.” She took a cleansing breath. “I’m okay now.”
“Are you ready to share the joke?”
“I just…I don’t know if you noticed but we seem to spend an awful lot of time in bed together.”
“That’s why you were laughing?”
“Sort of. I was laughing because when you came into the library the other day; you would barely even look at me.”
“And?”
“Now you seem perfectly comfortable having a conversation while lying on top of me. A lot has changed in a short amount of time, don’t ya think?”
Angel muttered an apology as he moved off her.
She grabbed him before he could leave. “I didn’t mean it like that. I should have said WE seem comfortable having a conversation like that.” She rolled onto her side to face him. “I’m actually kinda used to sharing a bed with you, which is weird ‘cuz you’re the first guy I’ve ever shared one with.”
“You and Xander haven’t…”
“No. I’m not ready for that yet. Sex complicates things. It changes everything.”
“Have you ever…”
“Yeah. Once.” She stared with unseeing eyes at her finger tracing invisible patterns in the space between them.
“It was Kevin’s first time too. I was falling pretty hard for him. I couldn’t help it. We..we did it in my car. I know how cliché but it was nice. There was this field where his grandfather used to take him stargazing. We’d go there to park. It wasn’t planned. It’s just…neither of us wanted to stop. It might not have been the most romantic setting but I wouldn’t change a thing about that night.”
“What happened?”
“The next night he and his friends were supposed to bring some equipment to the Bronze. They never showed. Willow and I went looking for them the next morning. We found them in the school’s rec room. They…they were dead, killed by vampires. Well I didn’t know that at the time. I just knew Kevin was dead.”
Angel clasped her hand. “I’m sorry.”
“That night I went back to the field, to remember. The next thing I knew, there were these weird looking guys surrounding my car. I drove away but they were everywhere. I spotted Willow and Miss Calender. They hopped in. Willow said we needed to get to the library so I drove us there.”
“I remember seeing the car in the hallway.”
“I had a hard time explaining that to Daddy.”
“I had no idea about your loss.”
“Yeah well Kevin being killed didn’t exactly rank up there with Buffy dying for a few minutes.” She looked up when he squeezed her hand. “I’m sorry. That was unfair. I may complain about trivial stuff but the big things stay with me. What about you? Your first time wasn’t with a hooker, was it?”
“No. Umm…I…she…she was a married woman.”
“Ooo-kay.”
“When I was 15, my father decided I needed to learn what a hard day’s work was like. He said it would help me better appreciate what we had. I spent a few weeks with a childhood friend of his.”
“And you slept with the guy’s wife?”
“Yes. They weren’t in love. It was an arranged marriage. Her family was from a neighboring town. She didn’t have any friends.”
“Did you fall in love?”
“No. One night after her husband left to go meet his mistress, she came into my room. The next morning she acted as if nothing happened. I went home a few days later.”
“Do good things ever happen after sex?”
“What?”
“Do good things ever happen after sex? It just seems like badness always follows.” She looked down at their joined hands. “Xander wants to. He has for a while. I don’t know. I thought..I mean I think I might love him. I wasn’t sure with Kevin and I don’t regret that. If I’d waited, I wouldn’t have gotten another chance.”
She shrugged. “Life can be short when you live on a hellmouth.”
“Cordy..”
“Have you and Buffy…you know…since you came back?”
“No.” He sighed. “When I first came back, I was barely sane and she’d moved on. I got healthier and she ended her relationship with that guy.”
“Oh right. I almost forgot about Scott. She totally got dumped.”
“I thought she broke up with him.”
“Nope. I think he got tired of her whole hot and cold vibe.”
“Oh. Anyway we decided to take things slow. We haven’t had a lot of time to deal with everything that happened. First Faith accidentally killed that guy and Buffy wanted me to help her; which blew up in our faces. Soon after that, Buffy and Giles suspected Faith of joining forces with the Mayor. That’s when they came up with the plan to trick Faith.”
“And then you contracted the plague.”
“Yes”
“Well you’ll be cured soon. Giles will figure it out.”
“I suppose.”
“Then you guys can talk until you’re blue in the face. I guess that saying doesn’t apply to you, though. Actually no one really turns blue in the face from talking so it applies to vampires as much as it does to humans.”
Angel smiled at her rambling but it quickly faded. “We’re not very good at the talking thing.”
“Vampires? I guess they are less talk more action types.”
His smile returned. “No. I meant Buffy and I aren’t very good at talking.”
“I don’t get that. You’re supposed to be so in love, friends and lovers, the Buffy and Angel story. You should be able to talk about anything.”
“What about you and Xander? Can you talk about anything and everything?”
“That’s totally different. I’m not even sure if I’m in love. I might be able to figure it out if he’d stop talking about Buffy and Willow for like five whole minutes. I’m not even sure if I can call Xander a friend. We tend to bicker which is usually followed by kissing. How can we truly be right for each other if we’re not even friends?”
“I’m the last one you should ask about that. Buffy once asked me if I knew what it was like to have a friend. I didn’t have an answer. She showed me what it’s like to love someone more than yourself but Willow, Xander and Giles, those are her friends.”
“You have me.” She swallowed hard at the intense look in his eyes. “I’m your friend,” came out in almost a whisper.
He brought her hand to his lips, his eyes never leaving hers. “I know.”
“What was your name, Angel?”
“Why?”
“Friends should know each other.”
“Liam Michael Sullivan.”
She smiled. “Liam Michael Sullivan. I like it. Were you an only child?” He released her hand and started to turn away. She cupped his cheek. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to talk about it.” She stroked his cheek with her thumb.
Angel closed his eyes as painful memories flooded his mind. “I had a younger sister, Kathy, my sweet Kathy. After I was turned, I…I..”
She hushed him with her fingers. “Was she like you?” She caressed his face with the back of her fingers.
His eyes opened. “No. Kathy was sweet. She had such a pure heart and I…I..”
“I always wanted to have a sibling. Brother, sister, it didn’t matter. Being an only child had its advantages but it would have been nice to have someone.”
“She adored me. She thought…I was an angel. Kathy invited me in. She was the second person I killed.”
Cordelia let a tear fall unchecked. She pulled him into her arms.
He rested his cheek on her shoulder and held her tight. “She was so innocent, so trusting.”
She gently rubbed his back. “Tell me about her. What was her favorite thing to do?”
“To dance. She loved to dance around the room. She was always asking me to dance with her.”
“Did you?”
“Sometimes. Mainly I’d watch her. She’d close her eyes and dance by herself. I used to tell her she better not be imagining a boy because there was no one good enough for my Kathy. She’d giggle and tell me I was a foolish boy. She never got the chance to dance with any boys.”
“Did she like to laugh?”
“Yes. Kathy had the sweetest laugh. She was extremely ticklish. When she was five, she announced she had decided she wasn’t going to be ticklish anymore so I needn’t try to tickle her. I responded by tickling her mercilessly. When I finally relented, she tried to tickle me. I held her off and explained younger sisters weren’t permitted such liberties, only older brothers.”
“And she believed you?”
“She always believed me.”
Cordelia rubbed his back. She wanted to ease the ache she heard in his voice. “Are you ticklish?” She felt him tense in her arms.
“No”
“No?”
“Nope. Not at all.” He eased out of their tight embrace. “Definitely not.”
“Uh huh” She detected a hint of fear in his brown eyes and smiled. “I think you’re lying.”
He edged away from her. “Are you calling me a liar?”
She rose to a seated position. “That would be awfully unfair of me, wouldn’t it? We’re friends. You wouldn’t lie to a friend, would you?”
He gulped at the evil glint in her eyes. He rolled onto his back. “Friends shouldn’t lie to each other.”
“No. They shouldn’t.” She loomed over him. “Since you’re definitely not ticklish, you won’t mind if I do this.” She pounced on him; her fingers immediately began their torture.
For once his vampire reflexes weren’t up for the challenge. He was too distracted by the fact that the beautiful brunette was straddling him, her hands touching the bare skin of his sides and stomach.
She loved listening to his uncontrollable laughter. She spoke in a sing-song voice. “I think somebody is a liar.”
“Stop! Stop! No more!” He grabbed her knees as he bucked his hips.
“Liar, liar pants on fire.” Her fingers refused to stop. “Apologize and I’ll stop.”
“I’m sorry. Sorry! Very, very sorry.”
She stopped her tickling torture but her hands didn’t want to stop touching him. She gently stroked his chest, easing the tremors.
He took a few deep breaths to get his stomach muscles to unclench. Her soft fingers were so soothing yet igniting sparks that shot straight to his groin. A part of him was grateful that she was straddling him low on his stomach. The rest begged his hands to slide her a few inches down his body.
Her skirt had flared out in the tussle. Her heat teased him through the thin material of her panties. He could feel her arousal as much as he could scent it in the air. His eyes refused to remain open. Everything felt so good.
To their mutual shock, the silence was disturbed by the sound of purring.
Angel’s eyes popped open.
“You’re purring. That’s so cute.” Her fingers continued their light touches. “You’re like a big kitty. I didn’t know vampires purr. You’re just a big ole softy.”
“Vampires don’t do it very often.”
She increased the pressure slightly and the sound grew louder. “Is it only when someone does this?”
“No. I made Darla purr once. It was completely accidental. I was…doing something else. She spent the next few hours trying to make me purr. When she failed, she switched to inflicting pain.” His voice became soft. “No one has ever made me purr before.”
Her smile got wider. “Really?”
“Yes”
She increased the pressure some more and allowed her nails to gently scratch his smooth skin.
His purring grew even louder. The intensity of the pleasure she was creating rose to dizzying heights. His body began to tremble. Before he realized what was happening, his features shifted.
Cordelia looked into his now yellow eyes. She was surprised by the change. “Did I hurt you?”
“No.” He closed his eyes and tried to shake it off. Her continued stroking was making it difficult. He considered stopping her but couldn’t bring himself to actually do it. He opened his eyes once he regained control and saw she had turned her head away.
She grabbed one of her pillows with one hand and turned back. “Hey! What did you do that for?” She dropped her pillow next to her and went back to using two hands.
Angel tried to resist but it was no use. There was no stopping the change without stopping her insistent hands. He closed his eyes as soon as he felt his features shift. He didn’t want to see her disgust.
Once his ridges reappeared, she placed her pillow on his chest.
His eyes opened when her weight shifted and her touches ceased. She was leaning forward with her elbows resting on the pillow. A tentative hand reached for his face.
Cordelia felt his ridges with her fingertips. “They’re hard, like bone. Remind me never to head butt a vampire.” She touched his raised cheek bones. Their eyes locked. “Your eyes are so different.”
He turned his head away. “They’re usually brown.”
“That’s not what I meant, smartass.” She cupped his chin and turned him back. She stared into his eyes. “That night in the cemetery, you’d think it’d be your teeth I remember most, aside from the fear and the terror of course. But it’s your eyes I remember most. They were so empty, so cold.” She rested her palm on his cheek.
“Now there is so much depth, so much emotion. They’re kinda sparkly too. You have beautiful eyes, Angel. YOU are beautiful.” Her thumb traced his lower lip. Her eyes dropped to her wandering thumb.
*Such a nice mouth. Such soft kissable lips. So kissable* She shook off her train of thought. “You’re still purring.”
His voice was almost too soft to hear. “You’re still touching me.” His eyes dropped to her mouth. He licked his lips, desperately wanting to close the gap between their bodies. Before he could take action, she straightened.
Her breathing grew deep. She could no longer ignore the dangerous path they were traveling. The “we aren’t doing anything wrong” defense was rapidly turning into a lie, if it hadn’t already. “I should go.”
Angel clutched her hips and cut off her escape. “Don’t.”
“I should have left for school ten minutes ago. I got up an hour early and I’m still going to be late.”
“Stay home today.”
“I…”
“You can call in sick.”
“I…”
Angel didn’t want to think. He just wanted to act. His grip on her hips tightened as he slid her heated body where he wanted her.
When she came in contact with the undeniable evidence of his desire, she gasped. She instinctively ground against him eliciting a moan from both of them. This was all happening so fast. She needed to think. “I…I don’t want anyone to worry.” She forced her hips to stop moving. “I have to go.”
“I…”
“This isn’t something we can take back. It’ll change everything.”
He didn’t want to acknowledge the truth in her words. He craved her touch more than he’d ever craved anything or anyone.
She placed her hands on top of his and peeled them off. Instead of releasing them, she laced her fingers with his, palm to palm.
“Cordy, please..”
“Please stop.” Her eyes slid shut. “Please don’t ask me again. I’ll say yes.”
He could feel the unspoken words on the tip of his tongue. They tasted sweet to say but too bitter to swallow. His body ached to release the question, to beg her if necessary.
Cordelia took his silence as acceptance. She rose to her knees and released his hands, forcing her body to climb off him.
He watched her slow movements. Her heart was still racing and the scent of her arousal made his acquiescence nearly impossible. He clenched his hands into fists to stop them from reaching out and dragging her body to his where he felt it belonged.
She tossed her pillow to the other side of the bed before covering his body with her blanket. She bit her lip when her eyes rested on the distinctive bulge trying to escape its silk prison. She lovingly tucked Angel into her bed. “Be a good boy while I’m gone.” Her lips were trembling as she placed a kiss on his forehead. “Thank you for not asking,” came out in a whisper. She grabbed her purse and managed a small smile. “I’ll see you later.”
His nails were biting into the palm of his hands, his knuckles white. He didn’t trust himself to speak so he nodded his response. After she rushed out the door, he willed his body to relax. It refused to comply. Her wonderful scent embraced him, teased him. Her arousal saturated the air and he could still feel where her warmth had heated his cold body.
He closed his eyes and concentrated. Cordelia had tried to remind their overheated minds that they belonged to other people without actually saying any names. He tried to conjure an image of Buffy. The resulting guilt would act as a bucket of ice water. His mind refused to comply.
The guilt wouldn’t come. Wanting Cordelia wasn’t something he regretted. Her friendship, her concern for his well being, and her acceptance should be cherished. How could he feel guilty about finding something he barely dreamed was possible? He was luckier than he deserved.
Instead of conjuring an image of Buffy, his mind began imagining what the night might bring. Another night with the beautiful, amazing brunette in his bed and in his arms was filled with so many delicious possibilities.
*Fantasy #1…*