Part 4
Cordelia glanced at Angel out of the corner of her eye. The sullen vampire was staring out the passenger window. “How ya doing?”
“Oh just great. It’s not every day a pariah can actually sink lower.”
“Yeah. Everyone did seem pretty freaked. I mean Buffy ran out of there like the building was on fire.”
“Thanks for reminding me.”
“Sorry”
“Why aren’t you…freaking?”
“Like I told Xander, I say what I think. The fact that you can hear my thoughts, not really freak-worthy. The way Willow, Xander and Buffy dress, now that’s upsetting.” She smiled at him.
“I should warn you though. You might want to stay out of my head when I’m deciding what to wear the next day. I have a lot of clothes to mentally go through. There’s a good chance your head might explode.”
“I appreciate the warning.”
“No problem.” The car pulled up to the mansion. “This is your stop.”
“Thanks for the ride.” Angel’s hand rested on the handle but he didn’t open the door. “Well..good night Cordelia.”
“Would you like some company for a while?”
“You don’t have to stay. I’m sure you have better things to do.”
“Oh yeah. I could go back to the library and read musty old books that may or may not be in English. I could go to the Bronze and hang out with Harmony and the rest of the sheep. I could go home to an empty house since my parents are away. Hmmm…which should I choose?”
“Come on in”
“Wow! An invite into a vampire’s lair. I hope I’m dressed appropriately. I never know what to where in a situation like this. Should I go with the helpless victim look or the leather biker chick look?” She glanced down at her designer outfit.
“I kinda failed on both counts. Hmmph. At least I’m wearing clean underwear. My grandmother would be so proud.”
“You do know you’re insane, right?”
She grinned at him. *Sanity is out this season.*
“Lucky for me.”
***
“I thought you had to patrol?”
“I decided to be mature Buffy and come back.” She nervously scanned the room. “Where’s Angel?”
“Cordy drove him home.”
“Thank god! I mean..he’s probably tired. He needs his rest. He’s still in recovery, you know?”
“Real convincin’ Buff. Personally I would prefer my girlfriend not be left alone with a vampire.”
“Xander! Angel won’t hurt her. Besides Cordy was the one who offered to drive him.”
“That doesn’t mean I have to like it, Will.”
“You could have gone with them.”
Xander went back to reading at Oz’s comment.
The redhead smiled at her boyfriend while she pulled Buffy off to the side. The two sat on the stairs. “Are you okay?”
“Not really. Things were starting to look up for us. My plan was working. After one night of researching, of being useful again, he went to the Bronze with us. Why did this have to happen now?”
“Maybe it will help. Once he hears your fears, you’ll be able to confront them together. It could end up bringing you closer.”
“Or it could tear us apart. If it had to happen, why couldn’t it have been me? I never know what Angel’s thinking. I’m the one who needs reassuring.”
“Exactly. Once Angel is aware of what’s upsetting you, he’ll want to fix it. The two of you need to open up to each other. Maybe he needs someone to talk to too.”
“C’mon Will. This is Angel.”
“I know but maybe it’s time for a change. He has all of Angelus’s memories. He remembers what he put you through, what he put all of us through. He wasn’t in control back then but that doesn’t mean the memories don’t haunt him anyway.” Willow squeezed Buffy’s hand.
“He went to hell. I’m sure that wasn’t much fun. I know you need reassuring but Angel probably does too. He could use a friend.”
“I am his friend but it was hard enough before. I can’t control how I feel or the thoughts that pop into my head. How are we going to work this out when I’m afraid to be alone with him, now that he has an all-access pass into my head? Who could feel comfortable around him now? What if we can’t reverse it?”
***
Cordelia looked around. “It’s pretty nice.” She noticed the chains. “Maybe you could give me some pointers. It’s so hard to decide where to hang the chains in a house.”
“I know I spent hours agonizing over it.”
“Time well spent, if you ask me.” She sat down of the sofa.
Angel sat on the opposite end, facing her. Their arms were extended on the back of the couch almost touching. “Do you think they’ll find a cure for this?”
“Giles and Wesley will figure it out.” She noticed his sad expression. “You know it could be worse.”
“I know. I could still be in hell.”
“Actually I was gonna say you could be poor.” She glanced around the room again. “How did you afford this place anyway or did you just eat the previous owner?”
Angel blinked.
“What? You were evil when you moved in here. It’s a perfectly reasonable question.”
“I didn’t kill anyone for it. It’s never a good idea to kill for a place you plan to stay at for an extended period of time. It draws attention to your location.”
“I’ll keep that in mind if I ever become evil. So does this mean you do have money? Don’t tell me, you made wise investments over the centuries.”
“Spike bought it.”
“Spike? I thought this was your place?”
“It is. I’m the head of our line, since Darla and the Master are both dust. As the new Master, what’s his is mine.”
“That explains why he teamed up with Buffy. You were a big bully.”
“I was evil.”
“I know but you took his house and his girl. No wonder he hated you. I have to say I don’t really like evil you too much and not just because you tried to kill me. You were a big…meanie.”
“I don’t exactly like evil me either.”
“So evil you is a girlfriend-stealing bully and you are the dark, brooding hero-type. What was human you like? Were you all sweet and innocent?”
“Sweet and innocent, I wasn’t.”
“What were you like?”
“I..umm..I..”
Cordelia inched closer until the arm that rested on the back of the couch touched his. She laced her fingers with his. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
“Before I was turned I enjoyed drinking, I enjoyed fighting and I enjoyed…women.”
“I thought those were the days you weren’t even supposed to kiss until after you were engaged?”
“A proper young lady of good fortune and birth shouldn’t allow herself to be compromised but there were other types of women. I had money to…”
“Whores? You actually paid women to have sex with you?”
“Sometimes. I could be charming when I wanted to be. I didn’t have to resort to paying for it very often.”
“Eww! I thought Xander was a loser. At least he would never pay a woman to…eww! Why were you like that?” She scrunched her face up in disgust but didn’t release his hand.
Angel stared at the floor. “I guess I was trying to live down to my father’s expectations.”
“What do you mean?”
“My father spent most of my life telling me what a disappointment I was, so I became what he accused me of being.”
Cordelia stroked his palm with her thumb. “Why did he do that?”
“It was his way of trying to make a man out of me.”
“What was so wrong with you? I mean before the hookers and drinking.”
“I wanted to be an artist. I wanted to see the world. He wanted me to follow in his footsteps.” His eyes closed as the painful memories washed over him. “Darla took great pleasure in telling me that by killing my father, I made getting his approval impossible. She said his disapproval would haunt me forever. She was right.”
“So as a human, you were kinda sleazy. Well it may have taken you a long time but you’ve become a good man.”
Angel felt her squeeze his hand.
“And for the record, self-worth can’t be given to you. I spent most of my life letting my friends and parents dictate what was important. If I let what others think about me rule how I feel about myself, I would never get out of bed.”
He stared at their entangled fingers. “Why are you so nice to me?”
“We’re friends, remember?”
“I remember. It’s been a long time since I had a friend. I’m not sure I remember how.”
“We’ll figure it out. I’m pretty new at it. I’m used to back-stabbing sheep. The only thing I ask for is honesty, even if it might hurt my feelings.”
“Isn’t this sweet? Does B know you’re holdin’ hands with the cheerleader?” Faith’s gaze turned to Cordelia. “What happened with Xander? His slayer fetish finally push you away?”
“Xander and I are none of your business.”
“Don’t be like that. I turned down his advances. You should show some gratitude.”
“Oh please! Like Xander would ever touch you.”
“Did he ever tell you about the time he gave me a ride home? No? He came up to my room. He was practically begging for it but I sent him on his way.”
“You’re lying.”
“You know if you unlocked those knees of yours, you might be able to keep him. ‘Course he’ll probably be thinkin’ about B the whole time.”
Cordelia caught Angel’s gaze. *I’ll get the bitch to focus her attention on me. You hit her from behind.*
She looked away before he could protest.
“You know Faith. This whole competition thing you have with Buffy is stupid.” She rose from the couch.
Faith looked over at Angel. “You and B played me. You had to know there’d be payback. No one plays me.” *The things I’m going to do to you would make Angelus blush.*
“Then you might want to rethink the wardrobe. The leather-clad whore look screams you like to be played with and thrown away after each use.” Cordelia walked around the couch. “Maybe if you eased up on the makeup and dressed in something other than animal skins, people might take you seriously.”
Faith stepped closer. “Some of us don’t have daddy’s charge card.”
“But I thought you had a sugar daddy now?”
“Don’t talk about the Mayor like that! He’s the only one who cares about me.”
“And who’s fault is that?”
“What do you know?”
“I know that I have no intention of letting you hurt Angel.”
“Is that a fact?”
“Yeah”
“What’s it to you? Don’t tell me Angel’s managed to melt that ice princess exterior. I guess it takes the undead to get you Sunnydale girls to spread your legs.”
“This from the girl who tried to use magic to get Angel to fuck her. Tried and failed I might add. So let me ask you a question Faith, does your Angel fixation have anything to do with Angel or is it all about Buffy? Is she the one you want to fuck or just fuck over?”
“The cheerleader’s got a mouth on her and it’s about to get her in trouble.” Faith was an arms length from Cordelia. She turned her back to Angel.
“Come on Faith. We’re just two girls talking. There’s no need to resort to violence.”
“You know, I kinda like you. You have guts. I might just let you ride the vampire once I’m done with him. ‘Course he won’t be anywhere near as pretty.”
“That’s sweet but I don’t share my men.”
“So Angel’s yours now? What does B say about that?”
“Like I’ve ever cared about what Buffy thinks!”
“I think I’m gonna let you live. In fact, I think we could have some fun.” She pulled out her knife. “You won’t be as pretty either by the time I’m done with you.”
“Sorry but I don’t swing that way.”
Angel swung a fireplace poker at Faith’s head.
She spun around and caught it. “Don’t be like that, baby. I was going to let you watch while I taught Cordy how to please a man.”
Cordelia picked up the candlestick on the end table and clobbered Faith. The weapon hit the floor a second after Faith did. She grabbed her purse in one hand and Angel’s hand in the other. “Let’s get out of here.”
Angel ran, pulling Cordelia with him. They jumped into her car and sped away.
“How could you be so reckless? She’s a slayer! She could have killed you.”
“What was I supposed to do?”
“You should have run. She came to the mansion for me.”
“I thought I already told you about my scaredy cat run. I don’t do that anymore unless everyone runs.”
“Cordelia, I don’t want anything to happen to you. Especially because of me.”
“That’s sweet but it was my decision to antagonize her. If anything had happened to me, it wouldn’t have been your fault.”
“She was there because of me.”
“So? She went after you because of her Buffy-complex. Does that mean if something happened to you, it would be Buffy’s fault?”
“You should have run.”
“Next time we will.”
***
“Have you found anything Giles?”
“Not as of yet” *Not since you asked me five minutes ago.*
“Wesley?” She was desperate.
“Nothing so far I’m sorry to say. Perhaps you should finish your patrol. Maybe we will have found something by the time you return.”
“I’m too distracted.”
Giles cleared his throat. “You could take Xander, Willow and Oz with you. None of these tomes are in English anyway.”
“Pummeling a few vamps might take my mind off everything.”
“That’s the spirit, Buff. Load me up with weapons and point me at the vampires. None will be safe from me.” Angel and Cordelia came bursting through the library doors. “There’s one now. Where’s a crossbow when you need one?”
“Hush Xander”
“I thought Cordelia was taking you home. What are you doing back here? Not that you’re not welcome because you are. I’m just surprised is all.”
“If you’re done rambling Buffy, we have a problem.”
“What’s wrong? Has the effects of the demon blood worsened?”
“Nothing like that Giles. Guess who stopped by the mansion for a visit?”
“Who?”
“Faith”
*I’m sure Angel hated that. They could have done some more ‘nothing’ if Cordelia hadn’t been there. Why was Cordelia still there?* Buffy flushed when her eyes locked with Angel’s. “What happened? Are you okay Angel?”
“We both are. Thanks for your concern.”
“Not to seem insensitive but were you able to learn anything else about the Mayor’s ascension through your new ability?”
“No. Her thoughts were about hurting me at first but then her focus changed. They centered on what she wanted to do to Cordelia.”
Xander put his arm around his girlfriend’s shoulders. “She didn’t hurt you, did she?”
She shook off his arm. “I’m fine.”
He felt hurt at her slight. “What’s wrong?”
“Were you ever in Faith’s room?”
He backed away. “What?”
“Were you ever in Faith’s room?”
“I…I..gave her a ride home once. I only went in for a minute. I was just trying to be friendly.”
“Uh huh” She looked over at Angel. “You can’t go back to your place.”
“I’m still unclear why Faith was focused on Cordelia. The two of you don’t share any history of animosity.”
“It was a perfectly good plan. I keep Faith’s attention on me so Angel can sneak up behind her.”
“Are you insane, Cordelia? She’s a slayer. A mentally unhinged one at that.”
“What? It worked. Sort of.”
“I beg your pardon.”
“Well she caught Angel mid-swing.”
“How did you get away?”
“She never saw me and my candlestick coming.” Her smile faded. “Don’t look at me like that, Giles. It was a good plan.”
“It was reckless and dangerous. What do you think would have happened if your plan failed?”
“The same thing that would’ve happened if we did nothing.”
“Cordelia, Mr. Giles is right. You should not have endangered yourself like that.”
She waved away their concerns. “Well it’s in the past now. We need to focus on the present. Angel can’t go home now.”
Everyone fidgeted and looked around the room, except Angel. He refused to look at anyone.
Cordelia huffed. “C’mon Angel. You can stay with me. My parents are out of town.”
“Cordy, you can’t be serious.”
“Do I sound like I’m joking Xander?”
“Angel can’t stay with you.”
“Then where do you expect him to stay?”
“He could…ummm…maybe Giles could..”
“I don’t think so Buffy.”
“Is your name Giles, Cordelia?”
“People say I’m insensitive but I bow before you. You can’t seriously expect Giles to invite Angel into his home.”
“Well…I…he needs to stay somewhere.”
“Which is why I offered. It’s been a long day and I’m tired. It’s up to you, Angel. You are more than welcome to stay with me.” She glanced at Buffy. “You could always take him home with you. I’m sure your mother wouldn’t mind.”
“I…I..”
“That’s what I thought.”
“Yeah well anything would be better than being forced to be near you.”
“He could go home and cuddle with Faith. Again. He might be able to find out some helpful information.”
Buffy advanced on Cordelia, but Willow and Xander grabbed her arms.
“This animosity solves nothing. Perhaps we could just hide Angel somewhere.”
“That’s not necessary, Giles. I have three empty guest rooms and my parents are out of town. I’ll give Anita some time off so Angel will have the place to himself during the day.” She grinned at Angel. “You can be my pet vampire.”
He managed a half smile. “OK but I don’t do windows.”
“I can deal with dirty windows for the time being but no wearing my clothes.”
“How ever will I resist?”
She hooked her arm with his. “Well we didn’t exactly have enough time to pack you a bag. I’m sure Buffy can go over tomorrow and get some of your stuff.” She winked at Buffy and Xander as she pulled Angel out of the library. “Later guys.”
The gang watched in stunned silence as the May Queen and the vampire walked out arm in arm.
Xander pinched himself. “What just happened?”