Part 5
Having Angel yanked away from her made Cordelia feel as though she’d been doused with a bucket of ice-cold water. The fog of lust and desire that had plagued all night seemed to slip away as quickly as her dress seemed to have done. Quickly, she sat up, looked around the room, and watched, mouth open, as Angel battled the creepy white-faced guys.
“Oh, thank god!” she breathed, her mind swimming with the absolute lunacy she’d just committed. Almost committed, she amended in her mind. Almost. Even now, the wound in her neck throbbed, a hard, steady pulse that screamed for some kind of closure. Whatever she’d felt before she’d lost her mind and practically begged Angel to bite her had increased exponentially. It was as if Angel’s close proximity to her, not to mention his emotional hold on her, had made his half-claim a hundred times worse than Sebastian’s attempt had been.
She tried to stay calm while Angel battled the count’s henchmen. “Okay, so good!” she said, hastily yanking up the straps on her dress. “They were probably interrupted by this Count Kirskov or his lackeys, right, so we’re done with—”
Her voice faltered as she saw Angel stand up with a purposeful gleam in his eye and start toward her. Oh, god, he’d beaten the guy down and now he was going to come and finish his claim.
Every pore in her screamed for him to do just that, but her mind was frantically shouting, “NO!”
Just then, Angel took a nose-dive right in her direction.
“We’re done!” she shrieked, and fell back on to the chaise lounge as he sailed over her and tackled their assailant.
Stunned, Cordelia lay there as Angel finished the fight. Every moment of the past hour flittered through her mind and she traced the downward spiral of her mental stability. If she hadn’t been possessed by these spirits, she probably would’ve been able to hold back. She would have been able to maintain control.
Grimacing, Cordy rolled her eyes at herself. Who was she kidding? She could’ve spent the afternoon in the lobby of the hotel reading Cosmo and she probably would’ve come to the same hair-brained conclusion that Angel was the only answer to her problems. That he was the only way she could get rid of the deep need inside her.
Now, though, as reality reared its ugly head, she contemplated just what a horrible ending that would be. If Angel claimed her, she would be his mate, and she knew it wouldn’t be in name only. She knew that the demon in him wouldn’t let her get away. She’d be tied to Angel for the rest of her life. Okay, so she loved him, like a best buddy, but not as the man-pire she wanted to spend the rest of her earthly existence with. Angel just came with too much baggage.
She adjusted slightly on the chaise and turned to watch Angel battle Tragedy on the other side of the room. Even now, her breath caught as she watched the muscles ripple in his chest, visible through the half-opened front of his tuxedo shirt. Her fingers itched to slide over him, to kiss him, to hold him as he. . .
Her eyes widened as she remembered the most passionate of their moments tonight. She shifted again in mortification, and the movement brought a twinge in secret places that added to her misery. She’d let Angel make love to her. He’d been inside her, a perfect fit, cool and hard and hitting all the right places that made her body sing with the rightness of it all. For just a moment, she let her eyes close as she remembered the bliss of that moment.
It didn’t last long as her shame washed over her again. Okay, so having Angel make love to her had been the best sexual experience of her young life, probably the best she’d ever have if she were honest with herself. And they hadn’t even had time to make it last. But it hadn’t been real. Angel hadn’t been the one to initiate it. It had been the crazy mixed-up ballet lovers that had started everything. And then they’d fled and left Angel and Cordy to finish what their repressed libidos had ignited.
Not that either of them had complained. No. She wasn’t going to go there again.
But to be tied to Angel? To let him claim her? What lunatic had she been channeling to think that was anywhere close to a good idea? The vamp was insanely overprotective as it was now. She shuddered to think how he’d be if he had some type of mystical hold on her. No, it was better to see if the claim could be removed somehow. If, now that Sebastian was dead, Wesley could find some way to mojo it out of her. THAT was the responsible way to get rid of this gnawing emptiness in her soul, not by throwing herself at Angel.
Geez, sometimes she was such a moron. Sighing, she thanked her lucky stars that they’d been interrupted before her unpredictable sex drive got the better of her.
A shadow blocked her light and she looked up into the confused face of Angel.
“Cordy—,” he began, but she bolted upright darted off the chaise as if it had bitten her.
“Boy, we’d better find the others. What if there are more of these guys?” she said, looking everywhere but at his face. Quickly, she hurried out the door and all Angel could do was follow behind her.
Lord, did she have a mess to clean up now.
***
Nervously, Angel paced the lobby of the hotel. His jaw throbbed from the multiple hits he’d received from those creepy comedy & tragedy twins. But the wounds were secondary to the bruising of his heart.
He’d taken advantage of Cordelia, and she was obviously not responding well to it. His mind argued with itself that he hadn’t actually done anything wrong; that Stephan had been the one in the driver’s seat and he’d just been along for the ride. But, no. Angel knew the truth of the matter. Stephan and his lover had left Angel and Cordelia in the middle of their heated encounter, and it was no one’s fault but his own that they didn’t stop the moment he realized they were alone.
He couldn’t seem to help himself, though. She’d been underneath him, her body so close, and she’d been flushed with the strength of her passion. He’d seen in her eyes, her own, clear, un-possessed eyes, that she’d wanted him as desperately as he’d wanted her. He hadn’t been able to help it when he’d drawn up her skirt and found her, wet and ready for him. He’d been so hard it was painful. Looking deep into her eyes, he’d seen that the only thing they both needed was to be joined. To make love and be connected on an intensely physical level.
Sliding inside her had been the defining moment in his long existence. It had felt like all the pieces of his splintered self had aligned and locked into a perfect fit. Like she was the lock to his key, the lock he’d been searching for his entire life. What had followed hadn’t exactly been making love, though. She’d been so damn aggressive that it shocked him to his core. Touching him, thrusting up against him, and biting him.
His eyes slid shut at the memory. Oh, god, the biting. Hadn’t she known what she was doing to him? How close she was bringing his demon to the surface? He’d bitten her. Sank his teeth into her satiny flesh and drank her blood as if it were vital to his existence. At the time, it had seemed as though being denied her blood would be the death of him. He’d been drawn to those two damn marks on her neck, the possessive demon within him straining at the leash and making him do things he otherwise would keep shoved way down deep inside himself. But the possession by Stephan, combined with his own strong feelings for her and her aggressive behavior had practically given him no choice.
No choice. He frowned fiercely and laughed derisively at himself. Yeah, right. There was always a choice. He’d just gone and thought with his fangs and his cock rather than his brain. He loved Cordelia. LOVED her. How could he let her see his demon like that, up close and personal?
She obviously hadn’t fared well after that. He frowned as he remembered her hasty words while Tragedy tried to kill him, her obvious embarrassment and discomfort. He’d tried to apologize, mortified to his toes that he’d taken advantage of her like that, but she’d only brushed him off. On the way home, she’d stayed as far away from him as possible.
Maybe if she knew that he loved her, she wouldn’t be so freaked out about this. She’d know that he wouldn’t have taken advantage of her like that if he hadn’t been so overcome by the depth of his feeling for her. He had to find her and explain.
Just then, Angel’s pacing brought him to an abrupt halt outside the office and he heard Wesley, Fred, and Gunn inside. Wes was patching up the other man’s wounds, and it was obvious with little more than a glance that Gunn and Fred had finally found some common ground.
“Do you want something for the pain?” Wesley was asking Gunn as he prepared to clean his wounds.
Gunn was almost not listening, he was so focused on Fred’s concerned face. “What pain?” he asked, his question obviously rhetorical. The answer was right there in front of him.
Watching Gunn and Fred’s burgeoning love gave Angel the strength he needed to find Cordelia.
It didn’t take long before he saw her standing near the counter, brushing at the stains on her evening gown. He must’ve been so deep in thought that he hadn’t heard her come in.
Cordelia saw Angel coming over and that made her swipe even more nervously at her dress. She knew what he was coming over to say. He was going to apologize, and right now she couldn’t bear that. Either that or he was going to say that he cared about her, but not like that, and while it shouldn’t matter, she knew it would hurt. It didn’t matter that she didn’t love him or that she knew, too, that what they’d done had been a monumental mistake. it was just that she’d already been over all this in her head and hearing it from him would only make her misery increase.
No, it was better to make sure that Angel’s apology train got derailed.
She began talking as he moved closer, trying to change the subject before the conversation even started. “Do you think I can still return it?” she said, her tone wry. “Cause, otherwise, we’re going to have to take on a lot more cases.”
Angel acted as if he hadn’t heard her. “Cordy?”
Her mind raced in panic. How could she distract him? “You know, maybe we should just not talk about our little adventure,” she laughed nervously. “Anything that might have been seen. . . Anything that might have been, oh, perky.” She looked shyly away before adding, “Any tasting either one of us might have done.”
He gulped at that statement. God, she couldn’t even look at him. What she must think of him. . . it almost wore down his resolve, but somehow, he knew that declaring his love for her was the only way for her to forgive him for his animalistic behavior.
“I just want to pretend it never happened,” he said honestly, and she frowned at that, but thought it was good that he was letting go.
“Exactly!” she agreed.
He continued, “I want to wipe it from my memory.”
The shock and hurt that flooded her after that statement took her by surprise. “What?” she said breathlessly, staring at him with wide eyes. “Was it like, disgusting?”
He looked immediately contrite, and that soothed her somewhat. “No!” he reassured her. “I, uh,” he stumbled. “I would just want—if we were to—”
She tried to follow his disjointed words, but her mind was too cluttered with her own crazy hormones.
“I would just want it to be . . . new,” he finished. “To start at the beginning.”
She shook her head in confusion. “Lost me in the middle.”
He sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Cordy, you and I, we’ve been working together for a long time.”
“Pfft,” she said, even as her mind groaned. God, he was going for the ‘just friends’ speech. Why did that spark such misery in her heart? She shook it off. She could take this.
“What I mean is, you’ve become a truly. . . extraordinary woman.”
Her heart sank, but she smiled at his compliment. Just get it over with! her mind screamed. It shouldn’t matter to her. It shouldn’t! Being with Angel was a bad thing. They didn’t belong together, despite the physical pull. She needed something to distract her. Something to keep the hurt from rising to the surface where it would choke her.
He continued, oblivious to her inner struggle. “You, you know we—”
Something behind him distracted her. “Groo?” she said, not believing her eyes.
“Yes!” Angel nodded, mistaking what she said for an end to his sentence. “We grew closer together and I think that—”
All of a sudden, she couldn’t take it anymore. Her mind and soul rebelled at his attempt to back out of their little affaire de Coeur gracefully, and she took the avenue of least resistance.
Quickly, she raced past Angel, shoving her wounded feelings deep inside as she sprinted towards the one man who had loved her so unconditionally. The one relationship that had been so uncomplicated in its purity. The one love she knew would always be there, even if it wasn’t deep, wasn’t all-consuming.
“Groo!” she squealed, throwing her arms around him. “I can’t believe you’re here!” She let him pick her up and whirl her around, hiding her confusion with joyous laughter.
He set her down, and she looked breathlessly into his handsome face, remembering all the love that he’d had for her back in Pylea, and how good that had made her feel. She’d felt loved, cherished, desired, in a way that she’d never felt before. He’d given her confidence again when she’d been losing it, and that had been addictive.
For the second time in one night, it seemed as if genius had struck her. Groo was who she needed, not Angel. Groo could distract her from her crazy feelings for Angel. Groo could distract her from the bite mark long enough for her to find some way to get it removed. And Groo could help her put her emotional life back together. Groo loved her.
But most importantly, Groo was safe.
She tried to block out the voice in her head that told her Angel was still the better choice, even if it was risky to pursue a relationship with him. Love with Groo was a warm, cozy fire. Love with Angel would no doubt be a firestorm of passion. But that didn’t matter now. Angel didn’t love her. Groo did. And she needed him, needed that love right now.
“I feared you’d forget who I was,” Groo said, searching her face intently.
“Remind me,” she said, jumping in head first. Their lips met in a kiss that made her want to cry. It was so sweet, so touching, but down in the very depths of her soul, she knew it wasn’t right. She didn’t belong with him. She belonged with. . .
No! She wouldn’t back out now! Kissing him more fiercely, Cordelia determined that she would get back on track. She would take care of this. She would let Groo love her and she’d learn to love him back because they were right for each other. They were.
A few feet away, Angel felt his heart shatter into a million pieces as he watched Cordelia’s lips lock with a man who grated on every nerve in Angel’s body. Next to him, Lorne was talking, explaining something about how Groo came to be there, but Angel didn’t care. He was in the midst of a monumental heartbreak here, and he didn’t have time for small talk.
As the kiss continued, Angel’s countenance grew darker. First, Sebastian had tried to take her away from him. Now, just when he was so close to claiming her, Cordelia herself went and betrayed him with someone else. His soul was battered, and his demon was furious. Cordelia belonged to him! And him only! This . . . this THING that called himself a champion dared to come in here and usurp Angel’s rightful place at Cordelia’s side, in Cordelia’s bed?
Because as sure as he was standing there, that’s where Groo would be headed tonight. Angelus bristled inside him, locked away in the steel cage in the corner of Angel’s mind, and never, in his entire soul-having existence, had Angel ever wanted to unlock the key to that cage more than he did right now. All he wanted to do was unleash his demon and tear Groo apart for taking what was his.
“He came looking for his true love.” Lorne’s words echoed in Angel’s mind, ripping him back to the here and now. True love? Was there such a thing? his mind scoffed.
“Good for her,” he said dejectedly, the pain too fresh to allow him to say anything else. “I’m going to check on Connor,” he said, desperate to get away. He raced up the stairs, attempting to force the raging demon inside him to quiet.
The soul was the only thing that was keeping him in check. The soul reminded him that it was his own fault that things were happening this way. If he hadn’t bitten her, she wouldn’t have shied away from him. If he hadn’t made love to her, he wouldn’t have scared her off. And if he hadn’t done those things, his heart wouldn’t be so hurt right now. He wouldn’t have as much invested in this, and at least, then, he could’ve convinced himself that his feelings were unjustified.
But now that he’d tasted her, been inside of her, he could think of nothing else. While he would like nothing more than to tear Groo’s limbs from his body, he knew that there had to be a better way to get through to her. There had to be a better way to get Cordelia to come back to him. She wanted him. He knew she did. He’d seen it in her eyes. She was just scared, and it was up to him to take that fear away.
As Angel gained the top step and strode purposefully toward his sleeping son, his eyes narrowed with determination. He was going to get Cordelia back, and he knew just the right technique for success.
He was going to seduce her.
Part 6