Chapter Two:
Cordelia slumped in Angel’s car banging the steering wheel in sorrow and rage. She hadn’t thought at all about what would happen when she went to the hotel. She had just been so mad that Angel had forced them to fight that demon alone and ill equipped.
It was the vampire’s entire fault that Wesley was in the hospital. Cordelia hadn’t planned on seeing the vampire. Or had she? She sobbed into the steering wheel. Had she really gone over there just to gather ancient weapons that she didn’t even know how to use or had she gone in another attempt to get Angel to acknowledge his role as a warrior for the Powers?
Had she taken his money, his weapons and his car to force him to see what his callus and apathetic behavior was doing to her and Wesley? To shock him into realizing that he was choosing the wrong path? Well, if that had been her subconscious intent, then she had failed miserably.
Cordelia cried even harder as she finally accepted that Angel just didn’t care about them anymore or his redemption. All he cared about was his obsession with Darla.
The rage inside of her intensified at the thought about the blonde, overwhelming her sorrow. Damn him and that undead bitch, she cried striking the wheel again. Cordelia knew instinctively that if Angel didn’t reconnect with his humanity soon, his soul could truly be lost.
At best he would turn into a mere shell of the honorable vampire he once was, he would become some decaying dead thing. Cordelia shuddered as she remembered the foul air in the hotel. At worst he would dissolve into Angelus with little or no resistance. Cordelia knew without a doubt she could help stop his downward spiral into self-destruction, if he would just let her, but he wouldn’t.
Angel had made that painfully obvious. So be it, she thought with strenghening resolve. Cordelia would not be hurt or rejected again by that vampire. Angel had made his choice and now she had to make hers.
Cordelia swore that she would take the weapons and find a way to effectively and efficiently fight for the helpless. Angel may be ready to give up the fight, but she wasn’t. She couldn’t. Cordelia realized that in the beginning she had been willing to accept her role as Angel’s seer, to be near him and to help him redeem his soul. But now, it meant so much more.
It was no longer just about Angel; it was about all of the lost souls that needed help. And she would help them or die trying. Cordelia sadly giggled to herself, wincing as the action caused a sharp pain to her side. Who would have thought it, she uttered in disbelief. She, Cordelia Chase had a higher purpose other then gaining fame and fortune.
She gulped wiping away her tears. Cordelia smiled slightly, she had a purpose, she just wished…no, she thought in firm resolve, repressing the anguish of her heart breaking. Angel was no longer her responsibility. Her responsibility was now to all the helpless and to Wesley…and Gunn. And Wesley needed her now, she thought, starting the car. She had to get to the hospital.
Cordelia rushed in the hospital favoring her left side. She immediately ran to Gunn in the waiting area. “How is he?” she winced.
Gunn noticed the flash of pain that flickered over her concerned expression. “Wesley regained consciousness awhile ago. The doctor said that it was not serious, just a mild concussion. But he wants Wesley to stay overnight for observation, just in case. The doctor is with him now, giving Wesley the news.”
“Really?” Cordelia said getting hopeful. “But, he was so still…” Cordelia was not quite ready to believe the good news.
“Really, the doctor said the blow just knocked him out. He should be fine. But the english guy will have a killer headache for the next few days, though.”
Cordelia smiled in relief then winced again grabbing her side.
“Cordelia?” Gunn asked in concern. “Doctor,” he called to the elderly physician exiting Wesley’s room.
“No, Gunn, I am fine, really.” Cordelia grabbed at the street kid.
“Yeah, right,” he answered beckoning again to the doctor.
The elderly doctor came over to the couple. “Your friend should be fine, but in the future remind him to wear a helmet,” the physician lectured. The doctor stopped and looked at Cordelia’s bruised face. “Young lady, were you riding with him on that motorcycle? Here let me look at that.” He gently fingered the blackening skin around her jaw. Cordelia grimaced as she moved away from the doctor.
“Doctor, something is wrong with her left side.” Gunn commented ignoring Cordelia’s glare.
“I am fine,” she said again.
The elderly doctor just nodded and gently touched her side. “Oww.” Cordelia winced involuntarily.
“Come on, young lady, let’s just see how fine you really are.” The doctor motioned her to an empty examining room.
“But I want to see Wesley,” she argued.
“After,” the doctor kindly ordered. “Come on.”
Cordelia reluctantly followed the man into the room. She gingerly got on the examining table.
“Now, let’s see if we can take off this shirt.”
Cordelia squirmed in pain as the doctor tried to lift her shirt over her head.
“Fine, indeed,” the old doctor clucked. The elderly gentleman proceeded to cut away the material with a small pair of scissors. The shirt fell to the table revealing a large abrasion turning black and purple. The growing bruise covered most of Cordelia’s torso. The doctor gently wiped way the dirt and gravel from her discolored skin. “That must have been some accident.”
Cordelia didn’t answer, she had no idea what Gunn had said to the staff about how Wesley’s injuries were caused. Though, obviously, it had something to do with a motorcycle. But since she was unaware of the details of his explanation, she just nodded. Futhermore, it was taking all of her concentration not to howl in pain at the doctor’s gentle ministrations.
“I think this needs to be X-Rayed. You may have fractured a rib or two. Here let me help you put this on,” he smiled holding out a hospital gown.
***
A couple of hours later, a nurse pushing Cordelia in a wheel chair returned to Gunn in the waiting room. “Well?” The street kid asked anxiously. Gunn had been getting worried; Cordelia had been gone for a long time.
“Fine, yep, I feel wonderful, hi ya, Gunny,” Cordelia smiled a goofy grin.
“Cordelia?”
“I am afraid that the pain medication has hit her kind of hard,” the nurse laughed. “When was the last time she has eaten? Oh, nevermind, but she is fine. Her ribs were pretty bruised, but they weren’t broken or fractured. She just needs to keep taped up, though and here is her prescription. And get some food in her or better yet, just wait a little bit, she will be out like a light soon.”
The nurse turned to Cordelia. “Now, Cordelia, what did the doctor tell you?” She asked the smiling girl.
“Grandpa doc said,” Cordelia started then stopped. “He is so cute,” she giggled.
“Yea, he is,” the nurse smiled. “But what did he tell you?”
Cordelia sighed. “Doc said that I have to look like a mummy for about a week. Hey, Gunn, look,” she exclaimed pulling up the T-shirt some one had found to replace her ruined shirt. Gunn’s eyes widened, as Cordelia exposed not only the multiple white stiff bandages wrapped around her torso, but a pair of beautiful breast.
“Cordelia,” he said blushing looking in desperation at the nurse.
“Cordelia, dear, let’s put your shirt down, okay honey,” the nurse said gently.
“Okay, dokie,” Cordelia said readjusting her T-shirt.
“Are you sure she is ready to be released?” Gunn questioned nervously.
“Yes, she needs to remain immobile as much as possible, but that can be done at home. And in the future make sure she has something in her stomache before she takes her medicine.” The nurse smiled.
Gunn nodded doubtfully. “Can she visit Wesley? He has been asking about her and I know she wants to see him.” He gestured towards Wesley’s room.
“Wesley? Is that his name, I thought it was Angel? Cordelia has been rambling on about some body named Angel. Oh, I get it, Angel isn’t a name she was asking for him ‘her Angel’ that’s so sweet,” the nurse exclaimed.
“Angel, Angel? Where is he?” Cordelia looked around with a hopeful smile on her face. “Where is Angel?”
“Cordelia, Angel is not here,” Gunn said gently.
“Oh,” she pouted a moment scrunching up her face in concentration. “That’s right, Angel is a big loser dead guy, don’t love him anymore.” Cordelia frowned and shook her head. “Gunny, where is Wesley?”
“He is waiting to see you, to make sure you are all right.” Gunn said taking the wheelchair from the confused nurse. “Thank you,” he said pushing the chair into Wesley’s room.
“Hi ya! Wesley.” Cordelia waved cheerfully to her friend lying in the hospital bed.
“Um, hi, Cordelia.” Wesley gave a puzzeled look towards Gunn.
“It is the pain medication. Her ribs are bruised, but the nurse said she would be fine after some rest.”
“Hey, research guy, we got clobbered but we beat the evil big ugly guy, didn’t we,” she said happily. “Pooh, on useless soul boy, I say,” she said frowning again. “I stole his weapons,” Cordelia said smiling again.
Wesley and Gunn glanced at each other. “The nurse said some food would probably counter act some of the effects on the medication. I will go look for some,” the street kid said leaving the room. “She is all yours, just don’t let her talk about mummies.”
“Mummies,” piped in Cordelia. “Hey, Wesley do you want to see….”
Gunn reached over and gently pushed Cordelia’s hand away from her T-shirt. “Not now, Cordelia, okay. I don’t think the english guy can take the shock.” Gunn sighed. “I know I can’t,” he sighed again. “I will be back.”
“Cordelia, are you really okay?” Wesley asked.
“Yep,” she said wheeling her chair closer to her friend. “You are going to have such a goose bump on you head,” she giggled. “Good thing, you have such a hard head, uh,” she smiled.
“Yes, I guess it is.”
Cordelia took a deep breath. “Wesley, you like me don’t you?”
“Yes, of course I do,” he answered wishing that Gunn would hurry back with some food for the babbling girl.
“Ummph,that’s nice. Yucky old Angel.” She stopped to frown. “Anyway, he said that I was self-absorbed and a bunch of other not nice stuff. Am I?”
“What self-absorbed?” he chuckled.
“Yeah, am I a bad person?”
“No, you are one of the best people that I know,” he said truthfully. “Cordelia, Angel is going through…”
“I don’t want to talk about him,” she cried her frown turning into a pout. “I don’t like him anymore,” she declared.
“Cordelia..”
“Nope, don’t care, don’t like him…Hey, scoot over,” she demanded.
“Cordelia?”
“I am tired and I want to be near my only real friend,” she whined pushing herself up out of the wheel chair.
Wesley quickly moved over as Cordelia settled on his bed. “Wesley,” she said in a small voice.
“Yes, Cordelia,” he responded as he moved his arm around her smaller body.
“I love him,” she sniffled. “But he doesn’t…I am scared. I don’t like being alone.”
“Sh, Cordelia. I am here, just sleep. Okay,” he whispered tenderly to the young crying girl.
“Wesley, it hurts so much,” she said softly, her tears falling on his shoulder.
“Sh,” he sighed knowing that the young girl wasn’t referring to her physical injury. Wesley settled next to his friend waiting for his own medication to kick in.
***
The nurse walked up to the dark man standing in the doorway of Wesley’s room. She noticed that he was handsome, but there was something not quite right about him. The man looked slightly unkept and there was a sense of darkness about him. “Sir, can I help you?”
“How are they?” he asked his eyes never leaving the sleeping couple.
“Oh, are you a friend?” she asked nervously. “They will be fine. Actually, Cordelia was released awhile ago. She just bruised some ribs. When will people realize that motorcycles are not toys?” The nurse paused for a minute, looking at the couple, then she sighed. “I guess she couldn’t leave him, they must be in love. Look at them. We actually have broken the rules for them. They just seem to need each other, well you must know, as you are their friend,” she smiled at the man, then gasped as she felt the waves of rage flowing from the still man. “I am sorry, who did you say you were?” the nurse questioned feeling suddenly uneasy about the man’s presence.
“Angel, what are you doing here?” Gunn asked suspiciously, coming up behind Angel and the nurse. The many rigors of Gunn’s life on the street had left him cynical and distrustful of most people. Gunn had thought that Angel had earned his trust, but that was before the vampire had left Cordelia to fight his battles.
The nurse looked at the two men and then at the couple. She waved her hands in front of her, really confused now. This man was Angel? She could have sworn that Cordelia had said something about Angel being dead. Well, he was handsome, but he looked dangerous. She shook her head baffled.
This dark man couldn’t be the one that the young pretty girl had rambled on about. “I guess I will be going now, but don’t upset the patients,” she said nervously, but firmly. She decided that it was none of her business, unless the tension in the air affected her patients.
Angel turned to Gunn. “The nurse said she would be okay.” It was more of a question than statement.
“You look like shit,” the street kid said to the vampire. Angel ignored his comment and repeated his statement.
“Don’t you think that it is a little late to be all concerned?” Gunn said gruffly, trying to pull the vampire away from the door. The vampire resisted the kid’s actions.
“You will not disturb her…them,” Gunn demanded. He yanked again at Angel’s arm. This time Angel let Gunn lead him away from the room.
“What do you think happened,” Gunn said once they were away from the room. “The Barbie doll had a vision, and she fought what should have been your battle. And she was awesome. It was because of her that another young girl is alive tonight, no thanks to you. Cordelia has more courage than you will ever have with all of your years behind you. Now, leave. I won’t have you upsetting her…them when they wake up. You made your choice,” he said bitterly turning from the vampire to go into the room.
“Gunn,” Angel said staring at Cordelia and Wesley.
“What?”
“My keys,” the vampire said his expression unreadable.
The young man stared at Angel in disbelief. Cordelia had told him about her stop at the hotel before she went to get X-Rayed.
“Right, your keys,” Gunn said in disgust as he went into his pocket to pull out the keys the nurse had given him from Cordelia earlier. “Here,” he said throwing the keys to the ground. “And may this time, you will really rot in hell,” Gunn grumbled to himself.
***
The first thing Angel felt as Cordelia stormed out of the hotel was relief that she was gone. He couldn’t stand to be around the young girl anymore. Cordelia’s beauty, her spirit, her love of life, her very nature acutely reminded Angel of how far he was from ever reaching true humanity or redemption.
In addition, to being his connection to the Powers, Cordelia had slowly over the last year or so, become his one real connection to the living world around him. It had been her nagging, courage, and unfailing support that had enabled him to reach out and try to actually find enjoyment in his existence.
But, his failure to save Darla had shown him that he would never reach redemption.
His redemption, he thought with disgust, Cordelia had always seemed to believe that his redemption was a done deal, it was just a matter of time. She never doubted that it would happen. But, Angel now knew that her belief was a fallacy. He knew that like Darla, he would always be damned. And being around Cordelia was just too painful.
Angel just wanted to slide into dark oblivion, and his seer’s constant nagging concern, just made that too difficult. Angel couldn’t handle the lightness that Cordelia’s presence inflicted on his existence. Angel was truly glad she was gone.
But, he thought, Cordelia had been in physical pain. He wasn’t glad about that. In fact, that made him angry. What had happened? How badly was she injured? And why was Wesley in the hospital? What had Cordelia said? Angel tried to think back to her words. But he hadn’t really been listening, he had just wanted her gone.
He remembered asking her how she got hurt. But Cordelia wouldn’t answer him, she had just kept piling the weapons in that stupid bag, then she had taken his car keys. But she had been saying something. Angel remembered that her tone had been angry, masking her physical pain. Cordelia had actually pulled a stake on him. What had she said?
Angel slumped down into the armchair and for the first time in that last few months; he tried to concentrate on something other than Darla and his subsequent failure to save his sire.
Cordelia had yelled something about him not being a warrior for the Powers anymore, but that she was still their seer. Oh god, Wesley had called earlier that evening. Angel had hung up at the sound of the former watcher’s voice without really listening to what he had been saying.
But now he remembered, Wesley hadn’t been calling to lecture or reason with the vampire, he had called to tell Angel that Cordelia had had a vision.
Oh god, the vampire thought again, as he replayed the earlier scene with his young seer. They had gone to fight whatever Cordelia had seen in her vision without him. And Cordelia and Wesley must have been injured because of it. And they would continue to fight the Power’s battles without him, he realized suddenly proccessing all of Cordelia’s angry words. And she would die as a result, he thought, because while Cordelia may have the will and the courage she just didn’t have the necessary strength, neither did Wesley.
Angel slowly got up and walked over to Cordelia’s empty desk. He sat in her chair rubbing his hands over the desk trying to deperately to sense any trace of the young beautiful girl that had told him in hatred that she had loved him. But her scent was gone; it had been replaced by a damp musty smell. Angel sniffed frantically in game face, but there was no scent of life left in the building, just the stench of dead things, of him, he realized.
Angel got up in mindless automation and left the hotel. The only thought in his mind was that Cordelia could not die, not while he still walked this world. As long as she was alive, he had the choice on whether to slide into the darkness or struggle to truly live.
But if she were gone, then there would be no choice. His soul would be lost forever. Angel stalked to the hospital unconscious of the fact that he had already made his choice by going to Cordelia, and that his choice was to take the chance at living.
Angel stood at the doorway of the hospital room and stared at Cordelia and Wesley sleeping in each other’s arms. The nurse had said she would be fine. But he knew that, he could sense that her heartbeat was strong. But why was the nurse hesitating?
And what was this nonsense about Cordelia being in love with Wesley? Angel suppressed a growl. Cordelia loved him, not Wesley; she had said so. Angel conveniently ignored the circumstances of Cordelia’s earlier declaration of love to him.
Gunn was talking to him now. What was the street kid saying? Angel suppressed another growl as Gunn pulled him further away from Cordelia.
Angel made a decision. He stood impassively while Gunn threw his keys to the ground. Without looking back, Angel picked up the keys and left the hall. Angel heard Gunn’s last statement. Angel chuckled as he walked away from the angry street kid.
Rot in Hell? Maybe he would, he chuckled again, but he would go down fighting. Angel sighed as he acknowledged that his biggest and most important fight was yet to come.
Angel waited patiently until Gunn left the doorway and went to lay down in the lounge off the corridor. No one noticed as the vampire quietly with fluid grace went into the hospital room. Angel stared at the couple.
He tenderly stroked the side of Cordelia’s face that was not pressed up to Wesley’s chest. Angel continued his light caresses until Cordelia sighed in her sleep and turned into the vampire’s touch. Once Cordelia had moved away from Wesley’s embrace, Angel gently picked up her up. Angel continued to stroke the sleeping girl as he watched Wesley stir a moment at the loss of body warmth.
Angel pulled up the blanket and tucked it around the former watcher. Wesley fell back into a medicated sleep. Again, no one noticed as the vampire carried Cordelia out of the hospital.