Dennis picked up on the panic on his roommate’s pale features as soon as the four entered the apartment. I didn’t take more than a second for him to figure out what this was about, and books flew off the shelves unerringly aimed for the men.
Cordy stood to the side, speechless. All it took was a few words, but her mouth dried up. Fear of discovery was so much stronger than guilt as her visitors ducked the flying missiles. Then Angel appeared right behind her, gripping her upper arms and ducking his head in the crook of her neck, taking advantage of the respite; the phantom wouldn’t risk hitting the brunette.
“Okay…. You have two choices,” his cool breath washed her ear, causing a shiver to wend its way along her spine. “Either you tell Dennis to quit it, or I’ll tear the place apart.” He had to be kidding! “Two seconds.”
“You wouldn’t dare,” she hissed angrily. Stupid Agresso-vampire! Cordy ground her teeth and turned her head, attempting to stare him out. He merely lifted a dark brow, flexing his large hands against her flesh.
For a moment, their eyes clashed, then the sound of a colourful curse and a yelp from the men still near the door broke the contact.
“Dennis?” Angel’s whole body tensed with sickening dread. She finally capitulated, her voice uncharacteristically shaky.
The Cordelia chase he knew and loved rarely showed fear.
He stepped back as soon as silence reigned over the apartment, turning her to face him. “Cordelia?” her head dropped forward with a deep sigh, forehead pressing briefly against his hard chest before lifting and pulling back. He released her slowly, watching as she repeated the phantoms name.
The bedroom door opened after a short delay; Wes and Gunn could not tear their eyes away from the large box that appeared, hovering shoulder-high. Wes swallowed hard, the knot of dread uncurling in his gut. Recriminations hammered at his mind.
Cordelia’s assurances and explanations several weeks ago now taunted him. After all this time and he’d learned nothing about the stubborn young woman. He flicked a glance towards his friend, who leaned against the door, arms folded, the expression on his dark face reminding him so clearly of their first meetings. Closed off and difficult to read.
Both wanted to be anywhere but here right now.
Angel caught the box shoved his way without breaking eye contact with Cordy, and then his eyes dropped to the large plastic container; he strode towards the dining room table, with the others following quickly behind. Cordy stalled, wringing her hands and eying the apartment door longingly; face it or flee?
“Don’t even think about it.” God, did he have eyes in the back of his head? She almost giggled hysterically… realizing that emotion was scarily close to the surface. Why the hell did she have to keep everything? Her shoulders slumped. Was it her subconscious mutely hoping they’d find the box and … then what?
“Cordelia… would you mind joining us?” Wes’ normally clipped tones were overshadowed with a healthy dose of doom. Taking a deep breath… didn’t help. But she walked slowly over, her eyes locked on the vampire’s rigid back.
As she drew level with Wes, she saw he held one of the transparent scans in his large hand.
“What do all these colours mean?” Gunn grabbed a scan himself and scrutinized it before looking towards the ex-Watcher, who was now peering over Angel’s shoulder to get a better look.
“Well, the red colours are hot spots of the brain… blue is cold…. Green; green is… there’s an awful lot of green…” he paused and swallowed. Angel turned his head and looked towards his strangely silent seer.
“Tell us, Cordelia; I’m sure your doctor has explained what these mean?” She looked from his face to the scan he held aloft, and then her eyes dropped to the table.
“It’s really not as bad as it looks,” She hedged. It took everything in her to raise her eyes to stare confidently back. Their eyes locked, only broken by Wes’ gasp of shock.
“Good lord… Cordelia,” he raised his eyes from the scan he’d taken from the bottom of the pile and looked at her with hurt betrayal. “This scan is dated months ago.” Angel almost snatched it from him and checked it out before swallowing heavily.
The first scan was dated shortly after he’d fired them.
*0*0*0*
Too many questions later, and not enough answers given, Wes finally gave his excuses in a stuttering mumble. Unexpectedly reaching out to pull Cordy into an awkward hug.
“We’ll find a way, Cordelia,” he whispered into her hair before releasing her and clearing his throat. She nodded, blinking back the rush of tears. Gunn hovered behind, his face a gamut of emotions. As soon as Wes moved away, he stepped forward.
“Just so you know, girl, we ain’t fine right now,” he warned her gruffly and then enveloped her in crushing arms. “But I’m not goin’ anywhere either, you hear?” she squeezed his waist in reply, and then they were gone.
She could feel the vampire behind her, and put off facing him until she’d wiped away all trace of tears and her features set into some semblance of calm. Then she turned around and folded her arms, unconsciously mimicking his stance.
“Were you ever going to tell us?” the quiet question dripped with pained accusation, and her head dipped for a moment.
“There was nothing really to tell,” his indrawn breath echoed through the lounge, making her cringe in shame.
“So it’s normal for you to bleed from your ears?” He finally asked after a pregnant pause, his voice rough as sandpaper.
Cordy rolled her eyes and waved a deliberately careless hand, “It doesn’t last that long, as you saw; not like I lost a lot.” His dark brows dropped, almost meeting over the bridge of his nose at her almost casual reply.
At the same instant, she realized she’d let the cat out of the bag, that it wasn’t the first time. Angel’s pale face was thunderous as he whispered, “It’s happened before…” not a question but a flat statement of fact.
Cordy instantly shook her head. “The other times, it was just the odd nosebleed, one of which you saw, if you remember.” He flinched. “The ‘ear’ thing was a one-off” With every casual word that left her mouth, she felt his growing sense of betrayal. Suddenly, all her previous reasoning as to why this was kept quiet made no sense whatsoever. Guilt blossomed with every second that passed.
“And that should make me feel so much better — why?” Angel had to restrain the urge to shake her until her teeth rattled… not a good idea to add to the trauma of her brain, he bitterly reminded himself.
His guilt surpassed hers. So many clues, and he’d been oblivious… “I should have known …” he muttered hoarsely, rubbing rough hands across his face.
Cordelia’s brow arched at his words. “How? I only found out a few months ago.” At the steely expression he threw her way, she sighed heavily. “Okay, maybe longer. Look …the last thing I need is to have to deal with your pity party. Mine is more than enough, thanks very much.”
“I should have seen it.” Angel continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “Stopped this. Found a way to fix this before it got this far-”
Cordy’s back immediately went up. “Don’t even think it, Angel! You’re not taking away the visions. They save lives” She knew he’d throw that back in the pot, and every instinct reared away from such a suggestion.
“What the hell about your life? Dammit, Cordelia…” he took a deep breath, striding over to her. Reaching out to grab her arms, even as Cordy attempted to shrug him off. “Just think rationally about this- or not,” he added at the almost desperate stubbornness settling on her pale pace. “The visions are for me- ME, so if I say they have to go, you’ll just have to suck it up-”
She wrenched away and began to pace around the room, her body tight with a mixture of anger and anxiety. “You’re making it sound a lot worse than it is,” she muttered, raking a shaky hand through her hair.
Angel couldn’t believe the stubborn little … “How can I possibly do that? I can’t believe you kept this from us- from me,” his voice rough with held back emotion.
“Don’t you dare go there, Angel – just don’t okay?” The vampire’s mouth tightened into a thin line, belatedly realizing he’d left himself wide open to more recriminations.
Cordy remained surprisingly silent and turned her back on him. He cautiously approached and, with careful fingers, took hold of her arm. “You’re coming back to the hotel” She attempted to pull away, but this time he held firm.
“I’d prefer to stay here. The company is so much better,” she retorted, tugging futilely on her captured arm.
“Cordelia…” Angel scowled. Dennis was way down on his trust list right now.
“No.” She needed her space. If she didn’t have somewhere to let go and be herself, internal combustion was a distinct possibility. “What’s the difference whether I’m here or there? Except for the fact that I’m more comfortable in my own home.”
“I just… I want you where…if…”
Cordy puffed out an impatient breath at his stumbling words. “If it’s gonna happen anytime soon, what could you actually do?”
“Be there.” Their eyes locked for a moment before she tore her gaze away and pulled more forcefully on her arm until he let go for fear of hurting her. “Then I’m staying here, too.” Angel was torn; he wanted to stay wherever she was, but at the same time, he felt he should be doing something to fix it. “But first, I need to sort something out. I’ll call Wes. He can come over while I… ” pausing when her fine brows rose.
So much for being there, pfft. “No need. I have Dennis,” she reminded him haughtily.
“A fat lot of good he did,” Angel growled lowly, and an icy amber glare pinned him to the spot; at the same time, a book glanced off the back of his head. Hard. “Maybe it’s time he saw the light!”
Cordy gasped in outrage at him and strode over until they were toe-to-toe. “You leave Dennis alone!”
“Give me one good reason,” Angel gritted out. “He knew about this and helped you hide it; I’m supposed to trust him now?”
“He-he’s protective, that’s all,” her eyes dropped from his momentarily, then lifted, her expression earnest. “If…anything had ever happened, he would have let you know,” she insisted and then turned to make her way towards the couch and plonked down. “Anyway, he’s the only one who can watch out for me in the bathroom, so you should be grateful,” she added with forced lightness, sick of the suffocating atmosphere.
“I can think of better descriptors,” Angel muttered indistinctly
“If I stayed at the hotel, I’d lose that security,” she continued, not hearing his soft comment. Folding her arms, she tilted her head. “I’ve had plenty of visions mid-bath; you and the others wouldn’t exactly be handy on the other side of the bathroom door.”
“I could-”
“Don’t even think of finishing that sentence!” a rose tint coloured her cheeks, eyes looking anywhere but his.
“Or I could ask Fred?” Angel shoved his hands into his pant pockets, temporarily relaxing as he enjoyed her sudden discomfort.
“Sure, ask the crazy lady,” she huffed and then caught his gaze. “That’s a big fat no, by the way. I’m staying put.”
“Then I’m staying too,” he repeated firmly.
Cordy rose to her feet, annoyed. “And where are you supposed to sleep?” she asked snottily, gesturing around. “One bedroom—unless you want to sleep in the closet.”
He folded his arms, stubbornness in every line of his big body. “I’ll take the couch — like I did last time,” his reply, matter of fact.
Nonononono! The single syllable chanted through her head as she again began pacing.
“That was different. We were different then. You can’t stay.”
“In what way is it different?” Angel jumped on her reaction instantly, wondering what was going through her mind right now. Judging by the high colour and darting eyes, it was more than just wanting her space.
“Well, we’re not exactly buddies right now,” she reminded him sharply, then cringed as he flinched at the reminder. “Not that it really matters,” she contradicted herself as anxiety grew, then halted and turned abruptly to face him. “I need my space! Peace and quiet! How can I relax with you hulking around 24/7?” waving her arms around as she rapidly spoke. “And like I said, we’re not in a good place right now.”
Angel’s mouth tightened into a thin line. Twice now, she’d brought up their ‘estrangement,’ something he didn’t need to be reminded of. But not even her personal grievances would get in the way of her life.
“So you… you need to go back to-to your space and leave me with mine.” Cordy stammered, and then her mouth snapped shut as she realized she was rambling like Fred, while her internal monologue was raging. How the hell am I supposed to act all cool and uncaring with him in my face all the time? It was definitely a bad idea. Bad with a capital BAD. “You can’t stay.” Her voice rang with finality.
Angel dipped his head for a moment, contemplating the floor, and then heaved a deep sigh before looking up. “Tough.” Her eyes widened comically at his reply and then narrowed as he continued. “As I said, I have to go out for a short while – but I’ll be back,” he curtly added.
Her mouth opened to argue, but he cut in. “I’m done discussing this with you, Cordelia. If you don’t come to the hotel, then you have yourself another roommate.” He glanced over to the far side of the room.
“I’m sure Dennis understands that we’re both on the same side here.” His voice lowered softly but still managed to reverberate around the room. “If not, I can just take you to the hotel, whether you want to or not.”
The book that had been floating like a threat in the air dropped abruptly and landed on the coffee table with a dull thud. “Glad that’s settled,” Angel muttered with a slight smirk. Striding over to grab the phone, he ignored the dagger-filled glares and the way she thumped heavily back onto the couch, arms folded tightly across her chest.