Part 5<\/b><\/p>\n
Angel stared at the office unable to move. He watched as Cordelia hung up the phone and started talking to Spike about their new client. He could have easily heard what she was saying, what orders or plans she was making with the other vampire. That is if all of his senses weren\u2019t numb. What the hell was she doing? Spike was with Buffy now. He was supposed to be in Sunnydale, basking in the afterglow of helping her save the world. Being HER champion. Angel\u2019s stomach lurched at that word. Champion. He used to be one, but Cordy had deemed him unworthy of that title now, unfit for the mission or for her. She\u2019d banished him and chosen her new warrior.<\/p>\n
His eyes caught Spike casting him another look and a smirk. He turned his head and looked toward the entrance of the hotel. It was a very sunny morning. Sun was good. He could grab the son-of-a-bitch before Cordy could react and fling him outside before the idiot knew what hit him. Of course then he wouldn\u2019t get the satisfaction of beating him to a bloody pulp first and it would probably make things between him and Cordelia even worse. The muscle in his jaw twitched. He felt the ridges of his demonic face begging to reach the surface. He tried to calm himself, reason with his raging anger at Spike and at Cordy\u2019s indifference. Spike could prove to be useful, after all, he had a soul now, he could help her. She didn\u2019t have her powers any longer and she needed protection. He couldn\u2019t be here twenty-four hours a day, not with Wolfram and Hart breathing down his neck and he knew now that he couldn\u2019t take her back there with him. She didn\u2019t belong there, she belonged here, at the hotel.<\/p>\n
He closed his eyes and swallowed at the thought of having to rely on Spike to help him keep Cordy safe. But what choice did he have? As he walked toward the office, he tried to convince himself that what he was about to do was in Cordelia\u2019s best interest, that was what was important. What he wanted and needed didn\u2019t count anymore, it hadn\u2019t for a long time. He was tied to Wolfram and Hart now and if he worked against them, they would take his soul. Then she would never be safe. He reached for the office door and scolded himself when he looked down at his hand that shook with fear and anger. What was he so worried about? He should be used to making deals with the devil by now.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Cordelia hung up the phone with Mr. Smith, looked at Spike and spoke in a very low tone. \u201cIs he still here?\u201d<\/p>\n
Spike looked out of the office window and shot Angel a cool smirk. \u201cYeah, the poof\u2019s still here. Looks like he\u2019s about to rip my head off.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia smiled slightly despite the fact that she hated hurting Angel like this. She knew how he felt about someone trying to replace him in her life, the Groo fiasco had proven that, but she had to do it. She was willing to do anything and everything to wrench Angel away from Wolfram and Hart, to force him to try and find a way back to his old life, even if it meant playing this game of hers, making him think she could survive without him, replace him with someone else. The truth was that she couldn\u2018t, that\u2018s why she was playing this ridiculous game in the first place. She needed him here with her, no evil strings attached. \u201cWhat\u2019s he doing now?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s heading this way. What do you want me to do, luv?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLet me handle it. I don\u2019t want you to get hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHurt? By him?\u201d he was offended.<\/p>\n
\u201cShh,\u201d Cordelia picked up a folder and tried to act busy. She took a deep, relaxing breath, glad that her plan had worked. Angel hated Spike, he wouldn\u2019t stand for her to be here, alone, with him. This would definitely be the thing that forced him back. Now she just had to make sure that he didn\u2019t kill Spike, or at the least kick him out. She\u2019d made a deal and she still owed it to the platinum head case to find Buffy and her friends.<\/p>\n
The door creaked open and she braced for the fury that she knew Angel was about to unleash on both of them.<\/p>\n
Angel walked silently into the office and Cordelia looked up, ready to face the violent and angry scene that was sure to follow, but Angel\u2019s eyes weren\u2019t full of rage. He looked at her for a moment, and turned to Spike. \u201cCan you keep her safe?\u201d<\/p>\n
Spike was just as bewildered by Angel\u2019s reaction as Cordelia was, \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen I\u2019m not able to be here, do you think you can keep her safe, dickhead?\u201d<\/p>\n
Spike\u2019s face tensed at the insult, \u201cAs long as I\u2019m here no one will hurt her,\u201d he announced defensively. \u201cNot even you,\u201d he added in a tone of warning.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood,\u201d his voice was tight and all business. He turned to Cordelia and his tone softened. \u201cTake this,\u201d he handed her his cell phone. \u201cThe numbers are programmed in. I want to know where you are at all times. Got it? You don\u2019t go on a case, to meet a client, or even out to the garbage bin without checking in with me first. Spike stays, only because I\u2019m letting him stay,\u201d he pointed out. \u201cHe can guard you when I can\u2019t. But you are not, I repeat, not to go out on any case until you get in touch with me first. You don\u2019t go without me. I can\u2019t risk it. Do we understand each other?\u201d his look hardened.<\/p>\n
She nodded her head, so thrown by his reaction to Spike and his authoritative tone, that she couldn\u2019t find her voice, or courage for that matter.<\/p>\n
Angel turned back to the other vampire. \u201cIf you touch her..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, yeah. You\u2019ll kill me,\u201d he mocked.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo Spike, it\u2019ll be much worse than that. Much worse.\u201d With that last threat, Angel turned and left the office without looking back.<\/p>\n
\u201cWho the hell is that?\u201d Gunn pointed to the office window as he and his three friends entered the hotel lobby.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s Spike,\u201d Wes answered with surprise.<\/p>\n
All four walked to meet Angel as he exited the office.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel?\u201d Wes questioned.<\/p>\n
He looked back at the two stunned figures in the office and then back to his friends, \u201cIt\u2019s alright. He has a soul. Seems I\u2019m not as \u2018special\u2019 as I thought,\u201d he murmured in a childish tone.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, so Billy Idol in there\u2019s got a soul, but what the hell is he doing here, with Cordy?\u201d It was all Gunn could do to keep himself from barging into the office and taking out the vampire himself.<\/p>\n
\u201cBelieve me, I like it less than you, but Cordy\u2019s determined to stay here. I think she\u2019s trying to prove something. I\u2019ve got to keep her safe, but if she\u2019s here I can\u2019t be around to protect her every minute of the day. Not without Wolfram and Hart finding out and I can\u2019t let any of you take the risk of coming here either. I\u2019ve already forced you to risk too much by making this deal in the first place. I\u2019m sorry,\u201d he ended in a ragged whisper.<\/p>\n
They knew by the look on his face and the sound of his voice that the apology wasn\u2019t just for their situation with Cordy. He was sorry, for all of it. They all shared a silent, knowing look.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe need to go,\u201d he interrupted the quiet moment. \u201cIf the Senior Partners know that we\u2019re all here together, they\u2019ll get suspicious. I can\u2019t risk any of you being punished. Wesley,\u201d he began. \u201cCordy will probably be calling some of your old contacts. Make sure they all are extremely cooperative with her. Make sure they know that if she doesn\u2019t find out everything she needs to know, that I\u2019ll be paying them a visit. Fred,\u201d he turned his attention. \u201cI\u2019ve programmed your number in her cell phone. If she calls you for anything, lab work, weapons, anything, make sure she gets it ASAP. Gunn, same goes for you as for Wesley. Cordy will probably go to some of your old gang for information or help, make sure they\u2019re useful. And Lorne, I want you to keep an ear open for any demon talk about Cordy or what she\u2019s doing. If anyone even says her name in the demon community, I want to know. Now, get going. I\u2019ll meet you back at the office.\u201d His orders finished, Angel turned and left through the basement.<\/p>\n
Lorne, Wesley and Gunn turned slowly and headed for the lobby doors. Fred looked at the office door where Cordy now stood, mouth still gaping after listening to Angel\u2019s plans.<\/p>\n
\u201cHi,\u201d Fred gave Cordelia a weak wave.<\/p>\n
\u201cHi,\u201d Cordy smiled timidly back.<\/p>\n
Fred couldn\u2019t stand it, she wanted to stay. She hated Wolfram and Hart, she hated her new life, and most of all she hated the sea of testosterone she had been swimming in ever since Cordelia had left. She walked over to her friend and gave her a tight hug, whispering in her ear, \u201cDon\u2019t worry. It\u2019s all gonna work out. You\u2019ll see.\u201d When she pulled back, both women had tears in their eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cI hope you\u2019re right,\u201d Cordy tried a grin.<\/p>\n
\u201cFred,\u201d Wes\u2019 voice called from the door.<\/p>\n
Fred hesitantly stepped away and walked toward the others. The three men gave Cordelia a sad wave and left when Fred reached the door.<\/p>\n
\u201cDidn\u2019t go quite the way you planned. Did it, pet?\u201d Spike observed from behind.<\/p>\n
Cordelia couldn\u2019t turn around. Spike would never take her for a strong leader if he saw the tears in her eyes. She shook her head in answer to his question.<\/p>\n
\u201cMust have been some deal he made, to leave you here with me. I know how much the gelled poof hates me, especially after finding out about me and Buffy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia wiped at her eyes, making sure no tears could be seen before she turned around. \u201cHow did he find out about you and Buffy?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen he came to the Hellmouth,\u201d he looked at her as if she should have known then remembered her coma. \u201cWhile you were playing sleeping beauty,\u201d he added. \u201cGuess you could say that you have Sunnydale to blame for all of this.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia was confused. \u201cWhat does Sunnydale have to do with any of this?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s why he made the deal, luv, to save his precious Buffy. Except that he found that she wasn\u2019t HIS precious Buffy anymore,\u201d he smiled wryly. \u201cTurned him down flat, she did. Sent him back to L.A. with his tail between his legs.\u201d He gave a little chuckle and then froze when he saw the look on her face. \u201cWhat is it? What did I say?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia\u2019s hurt look burned a whole through him. Realization sunk in, he hadn\u2019t known. He had just thought this was about her friends. Trying to get the people she cared about and her life back together. He didn\u2019t know that she was in love with Angel until that moment. The moment he had fucked it all up. \u201cCordelia, he only came because\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n
She held up her hand. \u201cPlease don\u2019t tell me anymore. I don\u2019t want to know. I don\u2019t think I could stomach another word. I\u2019m going to get some rest,\u201d she raised an eyebrow when he opened his mouth. \u201cWe have the Sherrill case tonight, so I suggest you do the same.\u201d She walked to the stairs and up to the suite, leaving Spike to mull over his hurtful words. When the bedroom door was securely shut, she broke into tears.<\/p>\n
He had done all of this for Buffy. It made sense now, his desperate confession of love to her last night. He\u2019d never told her that he felt anything for her before the coma. It had taken a final visit to Sunnydale to make him choose her, only after Buffy had turned him down for Spike. Except Spike was here, he wasn\u2018t with Buffy. Now she knew why he didn\u2019t go ballistic when he found Spike there with her. He probably thought that he still had a chance with Buffy if Spike was out of the picture. Keep Spike away from Buffy by keeping him around to guard Cordelia. It was a brilliant plan.<\/p>\n
She sat down hard on the edge of the bed and buried her head in her hands. She tried to will away the tears to no avail. It was making her sick at how weak she had gotten. Loving Angel was making her weak and scared. She was playing games and conniving and crying way too much for her own tastes. It had to stop. So what. He loved Buffy best. Hadn\u2019t he always? Wasn\u2019t that common knowledge? She straightened herself and forced away the tears. It didn\u2019t matter who Angel loved, he was part of her family and she would still get them back, all of them.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Spike and Cordelia packed their weapons in silence. She could feel his eyes on her between each toss of an item into his bag.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d she turned to face him.<\/p>\n
\u201cNothing,\u201d he raised his hands. \u201cI was just wondering if you called him, that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, I\u2019m not going to and neither are you. It would defeat the whole purpose.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cReally, and it has nothing to do with you trying to punish him for the little kitty that I let out of the bag earlier today.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNO!\u201d she took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. \u201cIf I called Angel, he\u2019d just race to our rescue in some over priced car, probably with some of his company\u2019s muscle in tow. We\u2019ve got to do this alone. He\u2019s got to be convinced that there\u2019s still a mission, a good fight that can be fought and won without the kind of power that Wolfram and Hart money or their evil contacts can give him. It\u2019s the only way he can reach his Shanshu.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHis what?\u2019<\/p>\n
\u201cShanshu. It\u2019s a long story, but basically it\u2019s his reward. If he fights for good and does enough for the world he\u2019ll get to live. Be human.\u201d<\/p>\n
Spike stared at her like a child, his mouth agape. A creeping sense of jealousy spread throughout his soul.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen he can do whatever and with whomever he wants,\u201d she finished in a murmur as she threw the last weapon in her cloth bag.<\/p>\n
Spike could sense the hurt in her voice. \u201cCordelia, what I said earlier\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWas the truth,\u201d she looked him in the eye. \u201cIt\u2019s about time I started recognizing it again.\u201d<\/p>\n
He didn\u2019t know what to say to make it better. He had his own insecurities about Buffy\u2019s feelings for him as well. \u201cIt\u2019s getting dark,\u201d he changed the subject.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, we\u2019d better go. Mrs. Sherrill said the vamps were gathering in the playground across the street from her house, 332 Poplar. I can get us there but it\u2019s going to take a while on foot.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe could just use that nice new set of wheels you drove over last night.\u201d<\/p>\n
She answered him with a threatening look and grabbed her bag, heading for the door.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was just a suggestion,\u201d he complained as he followed close behind.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
The playground was pitch dark. All of the streetlight bulbs up and down the block had been broken out and the sky was full of clouds, she didn\u2019t even have moonlight to guide her. She took a deep, calming breath, trying to slow down her racing heart and the over abundance of adrenaline that raced through her veins.<\/p>\n
Spike sensed her fear. \u201cLook pet, why don\u2019t you go back over there to the nice lady\u2019s house and let me handle this?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you kidding? I can\u2019t leave you out here. We don\u2019t even know how many vamps\u2026\u201d her words trailed off as she looked over Spikes shoulder.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow many?\u201d he asked, sensing the approaching vampires.<\/p>\n
\u201cSeven,\u201d she swallowed as they appeared out of the shadows.<\/p>\n
Spike reached down and pulled two stakes out of his bag and turned to the encroaching menace. \u201cWell now, what are you children doing out so late?\u201d he taunted. Banter always helped him in a fight. He started to lunge for the seven when his senses picked up the others coming from behind Cordy. Seven maybe, but ten was going to be impossible. \u201cGrab a weapon,\u201d he yelled over his shoulder. \u201cAnd then run Cordy, as fast as you can.\u201d It was his only hope of protecting her.<\/p>\n
Cordelia grabbed a crossbow and turned, spotting the other three closing in and for the first time in a long while did exactly as she was told.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
He was going to kill her. If she wasn\u2019t already dead, he was going to kill her. Angel raced toward the other side of town, heading for the address that Spike had whispered on his voice mail. The message had been recorded just after lunch so he knew that she had known about the case at least that long and hadn\u2019t called him. He was going to kill her.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Cordelia felt like some \u2018B\u2019 movie actress as she raced blindly through the park to the other side of the block. She knew they had to be right behind her, but she couldn\u2019t see, so she clutched the crossbow in a death grip, hoping that she could at least get one clean shot if they jumped her. Her breath jerked when she felt a cold arm grab her from behind and twist her around, knocking the bow from her hands. It was one of the vamps, his two friends standing on either side of him with huge, pointy grins.<\/p>\n
\u201cLooks like we\u2019re in for a treat tonight boys. Which one of you wants first dibs?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, you go ahead Ronnie. You caught her, it\u2019s only fair that you get the first taste.\u201d<\/p>\n
He smiled at his friend and then turned to Cordelia, grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked her neck to the side.<\/p>\n
Cordelia squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for the bite. It never came. She froze, heard two muffled grunts and then fell to the ground as her captor\u2019s arms turned to dust. Propping herself up with one hand she opened her eyes and tried to focus on the dark figure that loomed over her. She couldn\u2019t see anything, but somehow she knew who had saved her.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat. The. Hell. Were. You. Thinking?\u201d Angel could barely control his anger. He reached down and pulled her roughly to her feet and began hauling her to his car.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel! Wait a minute. Spike.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCan find his own way home,\u201d he said through gritted teeth as he pushed her in the driver\u2019s side of the Plymouth and scooted in after, forcing her to move over quickly. Slamming the door, he gunned the engine and sped from the park.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is the Plymouth,\u201d she finally noticed.<\/p>\n
Ignoring her observation, he slammed his fist against the steering wheel as he drove. \u201cDamn it Cordy! You were supposed to call me! I specifically told you not to go out without me! You could have been killed!\u201d The fear of what his words meant visibly shook him.<\/p>\n
She couldn\u2019t believe it. HE was mad at HER? That was a laugh. She was the one who should be mad. \u201cWell, I just figured you\u2019d be really busy chasing down Buffy now that Spike\u2019s out of the picture.\u201d God she sounded pathetic and bitter in her own ears. He did this to her, made her act like this, reduced her to this state. The thought of it made her anger grow.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat the hell are you talking about?!\u201d he genuinely looked clueless.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can drop the act. Spike told me everything. How you made the deal with Wolfram and Hart in order to save Buffy. How you raced to her side, begging her back,\u201d okay he hadn\u2019t said begging but that\u2019s how she had pictured the scene in her mind. \u201cMust have been a real ego buster to be turned down for Spike,\u201d she crossed her arms and waited for his stuttering reply.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m going to kill that bastard,\u201d he whispered to himself.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy Angel? For telling the truth? At least he knows what that is. He may lack tactfulness, but hey, never been a fan of buttering up the truth myself. At least he\u2019s honest. He knows what\u2019s blatantly obvious to everyone but you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd what\u2019s that?\u201d he tried to keep his rage and the car under control as he sped down the busy L.A. freeway.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat you love Buffy. That she comes first in your life and she always will, Angel. You were right to help her, I would have thought less of you if you hadn\u2019t, but you never should have told me that you love me. I don\u2019t deserve to be treated as the consolation prize.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI knew it was a mistake to let that dickhead stay there with you. I knew he\u2019d try and screw things up for me, damn it. He\u2019s got you all worked up over nothing Cordy,\u201d he made a dangerous u-turn.<\/p>\n
Cordelia looked panicked, \u201cWhere are we going?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSomewhere I can keep an eye on you, keep you safe.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, I\u2019m not going anywhere with you. I won\u2019t be locked up in some tower by you or Wolfram and Hart again!\u201d she opened her door on the speeding road causing him to slam on the brakes. She was out of the car before it had even completely stopped.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy!\u201d he yelled at her as she slammed the door and darted through the surging traffic. She crossed the median and flagged down a car in the opposite lanes. She was gone before he could follow her.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Dragging her tired body up the hotel stairs, Cordelia thought about how grateful she was that the man that had picked her up and given her a ride hadn\u2019t been a mass murderer. Her face flinched at the thought of the scene she had made, jumping out of Angel\u2019s car. She had to do it, she couldn\u2019t let him lock her away somewhere, she\u2019d never get him away from Wolfram and Hart then.<\/p>\n
She opened and closed the suite door and was immediately pushed against the wall by two strong arms. \u201cAngel! You scared me!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI scared you?\u201d he let out a desperate laugh. \u201cWell, you scared me too Cordy. Don\u2019t ever do that again,\u201d his voice was soft but deadly serious.<\/p>\n
Cordelia pushed at his chest, but he wouldn\u2019t budge. \u201cNo Cordy, no more pushing me away, no more games or manipulations to try and prove to me that there\u2019s still a mission. We\u2019re going to have this out, here and now. Starting with my visit to Sunnydale.\u201d<\/p>\n
His hands were pressing her too hard, cutting off the circulation in her arms, \u201cYou\u2019re hurting me,\u201d she offered quietly.<\/p>\n
He eased his grip but kept her position secure. \u201cWhat I said to you last night I meant. I love you Cordelia. Only you,\u201d his voice was stern but full of emotion.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut Spike..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSpike saw me kiss Buffy,\u201d he had to get it all out in the open, no matter how painful. \u201cI knew he was there, that\u2019s why I did it,\u201d he admitted. \u201cI\u2019m sorry. It\u2019s a stupid vampire thing, like a dog pissing on a tree. It had more to do with me and Spike then it did me and Buffy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo you didn\u2019t go there to get her back?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, and I didn\u2019t take the deal with Wolfram and Hart for her either. They tried to use that at first but I said no, until I saw you and C\u2026you in your coma,\u201d he corrected. Connor was one thing he wasn\u2019t ready to bring out in the open. \u201cI was willing to do anything then, and they knew it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh,\u201d she answered weakly.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo we\u2019re clear now? You believe that what I said last night is true?\u201d<\/p>\n
She nodded her head, still pinned to the wall.<\/p>\n
He looked at her wide eyes, his tone came out in a rough plea, \u201cNo more games Cordy. No more pushing me away or putting yourself in danger just to prove to me that there are still good Powers in the world and that they need me. I don\u2019t care about that anymore. All I care about is you. So no more tricks. You want something from me you tell me, straight out. Got it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI told you what I want,\u201d her words were shaky. \u201cI want you to come home. I want my life and my family back. I want things to be the way they were before. I want you back the way you were before all of this chaos.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell news flash Cordy, things aren\u2019t the way they were and I\u2019m not what I used to be. We\u2019ve all been through hell while you were gone and its changed us, probably for the worse. But to be honest, even if I could leave Wolfram and Hart to come back here, to my old life, I still wouldn\u2019t want to be that Angel anymore. He was too afraid to tell you how he felt, he stood by and let his family get hurt, he let you go because he was too blind to see what was right in front of him, and the old Angel would have never done this.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel crushed himself against her and captured her mouth in a starving, ravenous kiss. His hands left her arms and ran greedily over her ribs, the deep curve of her waist and locked themselves tightly around her hips.<\/p>\n
It was too much, too strong and angry for her. Her brain ordered her to push away and she started to, but her mind went blank as her body melded into his touch and his kiss, meeting the devouring motion of his mouth with that of her own.<\/p>\n
His hands trailed back up, under her shirt and around her waist, almost spanning it with his large hands. He slid them up higher to her ribs and tenderly stroked the soft underside of her satin covered breasts with feather light touches from his fingertips.<\/p>\n
She was in a daze. His kiss was like a drug that made her incapable of a rational or decent thought. All she could think about or feel was his body, hard against hers. She backed her head away from the kiss, struggling to catch her breath, only to be quickly stripped of her shirt and bra before she was aware of what was happening. \u201cAngel,\u201d she panted.<\/p>\n
He answered her by taking her mouth again with his, this time not in anger but in hungry need. His hands found their way back to her breasts and caressed and molded and fondled them.<\/p>\n
Cordelia pulled her head back and breathlessly tried for her voice again. \u201cAngel, we can\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t you think I know that,\u201d he leaned in and kissed her neck and whispered in her ear. \u201cThat\u2019s all I\u2019ve thought about, all I\u2019ve fantasized and dreamed about for the past three years. I\u2019ve lost a lot of sleep Cordy, thinking about all of the things we can\u2019t do. But tonight..,\u201d he gave her another kiss behind her ear, causing a shiver to run through her body. \u201c\u2026tonight, I want to concentrate on the things we can.\u201d<\/p>\n
Erotic images filled her mind at his seductive words. She was lost. He backed away, finally releasing her arms, looking into her eyes for permission. He took her hands and slowly pulled her away from the wall, waiting for her to break away or tell him it wasn\u2019t what she wanted. She didn\u2019t do either. Instead she followed him eagerly to the bed.<\/p>\n
She stood silent and motionless, the back of her knees touching the mattress, and watched as he started shedding his own clothes with sharp, inhuman speed, keeping his eyes fixed to hers as if waiting for her to stop him, to say that this was a mistake and bolt for the door. Instead she followed his lead and stepped awkwardly out of her pants and shoes. She was bare in front of him, stark naked, except for the little bit of lace covering up her scent of arousal that teased his senses.<\/p>\n
He looked at her for a moment, drinking in her beauty and then closed the distance between them. He brushed his hand against her cheek, \u201cAre you sure?\u201d he whispered.<\/p>\n
Was he kidding? He wasn\u2019t the only one who had fantasized about this moment. \u201cYes,\u201d her voice didn\u2019t come out as strong as she would have liked.<\/p>\n
Angel circled his arms around her and lifted her to the bed and laying her out, he covered her body with his own. Her scrap of underwear the only thing separating their shaking bodies.<\/p>\n
She cradled his face in her hands and slid her fingers up and through the silky spikes of his hair and gently pulled his face down to hers, gracing him with a tender, loving kiss. She\u2019d meant it as a soothing gesture, to relax the obvious sexual tension that had been building between them for years and that seemed at the moment ready to explode. It had the opposite effect on him.<\/p>\n
His mouth slanted across hers again in another bruising kiss, his tongue thrust in her mouth and she felt him swell painfully hard against her thigh. His lips left hers and blazed a trail of icy kisses down her neck, settling between her breasts, as his hands cupped them, pressing them together. He licked the deep valley of her cleavage and then took one nipple tenderly into his mouth, suckling it and swirling it with his cool tongue, while his fingers gently teased the other one. When he was finished giving them the attention they deserved he kissed his way back up and leaned slightly back, his gaze locked with hers, watching her face as his hand slid further down her body, tracing the edge of her panties.<\/p>\n
She closed her eyes and let out a sigh of pleasure when his hand found its way inside the lacy cloth. He teased her, circled her with his hand before carefully parting her soft pink folds and slowly sliding his finger into her tight, scolding sheath, causing them both to quake with a shuddering pleasure at the contact. Their mouths touched, gently at first, then deepened, matching the deepening rhythm of his stokes. When he was sure that she was ready, he added another finger, stretching her slightly. He felt her gasp in his mouth at the first stroke and lifted his head, \u201cAre you alright?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGod, yes,\u201d she breathed.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not hurting you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Her hand wrapped around the back of his neck, pulling him back down and giving him his answer. His hand resumed its rhythmic motion, increasing her moans with each deep, penetrating thrust. \u201cMove against me,\u201d he whispered against her lips. \u201cPretend it\u2019s me Cordy, moving inside you.\u201d<\/p>\n
A tingling sensation swept through her at his suggestion, filling her mind with images of him filling her, sliding in and out, pushing her over the edge. She began to rock her hips, matching his motions as she let out a shuddering breath. \u201cOh God, Angel,\u201d she gasped as he added his thumb to the mix, circling and brushing her swollen, pink bud with it.<\/p>\n
He watched her, head thrown back and tilted to the side, eyes closed, a look of pleasure etched on her face. It was the most beautiful thing he\u2019d ever seen. He felt the first wave of her orgasm and captured her scream with his mouth, joining her in her release as much as he could.<\/p>\n
When the waves finally subsided, she opened her eyes, almost shyly, embarrassed by her shuddering orgasm. He was looking down at her, a soft smile on his face. He reached up and pushed a lock of hair from her face, \u201cI love you.\u201d<\/p>\n
She smiled back and tried to get control of her voice, \u201cI love you too,\u201d she whispered shakily.<\/p>\n
His smile grew even wider and he slid down between her legs, pressing them apart.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel!\u201d she pushed herself up on her elbows, unsure if her body could take much more.<\/p>\n
\u201cPlease, Cordy,\u201d he was insistent, his face hovering over her most sensitive flesh, breathing in her excitement. \u201cThis is as close as I can get, let me have what I can,\u201d the breath that came out with his words tickled her skin and she grabbed the top of his head, intending on nudging him away, but then his tongue lashed out tenderly across her damp, quivering center. She let go of his head and all of her self-control as her head fell back against the pillow, her body succumbing to helpless pleasure.<\/p>\n
He lapped at her tender flesh with gentle hunger, as if only her essence could fill him, nourish him. She writhed against his mouth and hands, her voice whispering incoherent pleas. Angel took her swollen bud in his mouth, she tasted like some exotic fruit, sweet and tangy and he reveled in her ripe juices. He felt the first ripple pass through her body and drank her in as she cried out his name, her body pulsing uncontrollably.<\/p>\n
When her last quaking shudder slipped away, he left the spot that he had lavished so much love and attention to, kissing his way back up her body. He stopped when he reached her face, studying it intently. Her eyes were closed and her breath came out in short ragged pants. Her cheeks were flushed and a smile slowly spread across her face just before she opened her eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cHi,\u201d he smiled down.<\/p>\n
\u201cHi,\u201d she blushed. \u201cThat was..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah,\u201d he continued to smile.<\/p>\n
\u201cI feel so guilty.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d he let out a bewildered chuckle.<\/p>\n
She looked pointedly down his body and then back up with her eyebrows raised.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh,\u201d he understood. \u201cCordy, touching you, feeling your body under mine, hearing you call out my name,\u201d she blushed again and it made him smile. \u201cThat pleases me, it takes me right to the edge as it is. I won\u2019t lie and say that I don\u2019t want to bury myself deep inside you, let myself explode while you\u2019re in my arms, but that just can\u2019t happen right now. I\u2019d probably lose my soul the minute I felt you surrounding me.\u201d He laid down beside her and pulled her body close to him, closing his eyes when her warm cheek finally rested against his bare chest.<\/p>\n
A fearful question started to flutter around in Cordy\u2019s mind, \u201cAre you going back?\u201d she asked so softly that even he almost couldn\u2019t hear her.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
She raised up and he silenced her before she could start. \u201cI have to if I\u2019m going to find a way out of my deal with Wolfram and Hart.\u201d<\/p>\n
She smiled and tears stung her eyes. \u201cWe\u2019ll find a way Angel, you\u2019ll see. It will all work out,\u201d she laid her head back down and hugged his chest as tight as she could.<\/p>\n
Angel\u2019s fingers brushed through her hair as he stared at the ceiling, his mind working, really working, since before her coma. He’d find a way, he had a reason to now.<\/p>\n