Part 17<\/b><\/p>\n
\u201cYou think I\u2019m brave?\u201d<\/p>\n
It caught Angel off guard, not the question but the shock in Cordelia\u2019s eyes. Also the way her face softened and lost the fa\u00e7ade she presented to the world at all times. In one instant Cordelia went from being a girl he knew from Sunnydale and became a woman stunned by his words.<\/p>\n
He swallowed and realized his grip on her arm was bruising and loosened his hold and found that he was nodding. \u201cOf course,\u201d he said in answer. Wasn\u2019t it obvious she was brave? He rolled the thought around in his mind and the fact came back to him forcefully. Yes. Cordelia Chase is brave. He was certain.<\/p>\n
Her face lost its softness at his words but her eyes remained confused and her head began to shake, joined by a slight sway of her body. No. No she was telling him, she wasn\u2019t brave and he realized she didn\u2019t believe him.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou are,\u201d he stated and his free hand reached out and grabbed her chin. \u201cYou are.\u201d<\/p>\n
She looked away, the abrupt move of her head causing his hand to slip off her face and she bit her lip. \u201cLook, you don\u2019t need to flatter me to make the fact you are trying to get rid of me be less of a blow.\u201d<\/p>\n
Now Angel was as confused as she looked. \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen what the hell is your thing!\u201d<\/p>\n
Who was this woman? \u201cMy thing?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYour thing, Angel. The thing. The thing that has you suddenly treating me like a damsel in distress. You have to stop these demons, you need someone to get you in and get you information. You were already desperate, or you never would have called me in the first place \u2013 which maybe you are regretting, but I\u2019ve been in a few hellish situations in my time and once you are desperate, you are desperate, so why are you trying to take me back out of the loop?\u201d<\/p>\n
How did she breathe? Humans did still need to breathe didn\u2019t they, he listened carefully and heard her exhaling and inhaling oxygen into her lungs without any conscience thought, and realized that her blood pressure than higher than average. \u201cWhy are you mad?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMad? Who said I was mad?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel shrugged and ran his free hand over his face, and then looked at his hand still holding onto her arm. Cordelia suddenly gave an aggravated puff of air and hit his other arm, hard.<\/p>\n
\u201cWill you quit with the guilt over the scratch. And oh, by the way, I\u2019m still bait.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d he said thinking that his prior decision to keep this confounded woman out of trouble was definitely the right decision. \u201cI don\u2019t want you in danger.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel stared at her, thinking that was the stupidest question he\u2019d been asked in a long time but when his mouth opened he realized he didn\u2019t have an answer. \u201cBecause\u2026you shouldn\u2019t be danger.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh please.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s you disagreeing, right?\u201d Angel asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cDuh. I grew up in danger. So, give me a break on the danger thing. How much worse is this danger than me, say, oh walking from the parking lot to the Bronze back in Sunnydale?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s higher, Cordelia,\u201d Angel said rolling his eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhatever. You asked me to do this, why?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause, I need someone to go inside and Wes and Gunn aren\u2019t female.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRight. And here I am. In Los Angeles, with knowledge of otherworldly beings. So, really I\u2019m your Obi Wan.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHuh?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYour Obi Wan Kenobi. You know, your only hope. You\u2019re Princess Leia and I\u2019m Obi Wan\u2026never mind I dated Xander and it detrimental to my brain cells — obviously. Fact is Angel you need me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2026\u201d Angel stared at her and started to shake his head. \u201cI\u2026\u201d he let go of her arm and brushed past her walking back into her living room. \u201cI decide who helps me and I\u2019ve decided you aren\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen who is going to do it? Going to put Wesley in drag? He\u2019s got a certain Pierce Bronson look about him but it won\u2019t translate into young, female or scream \u2018feed me to demon\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel swiftly pushed away the visual of Wesley in drag out of his mind and turned to look at Cordelia. \u201cLike I was saying before, Cordelia. I admire your bravery but I\u2019m not\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cStop that,\u201d she snapped, her mask dropping again for a minute but then falling away.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCalling me brave. Or whatever it is you mean. Look I can do this for you, for those five young girls and how many more, you will end up saving. I don\u2019t\u2026\u201d she trailed off and bit her lip.<\/p>\n
It took a moment, but Angel watched fascinated as her body language shifted from unsure and vulnerable into the confident stance that in his mind he\u2019d always associated with Cordelia Chase. Only it was lie, maybe not a total lie, but it was part of the package she presented to the world and what he\u2019d caught of glimpse of in her kitchen and few seconds ago was new.<\/p>\n
\u201cFine. I get it. I guess Wesley is showing up with a blanket to get you, soon, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat? Wesley isn\u2019t picking me up?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell then call him. Since you don\u2019t want me around, or need my help. I certainly have no intention of letting you hang out here all day.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIs that all you can say? You don\u2019t want me around, so leave my apartment.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t want you around?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t have to rub it in, geesh. Not that it\u2019s any skin off my nose,\u201d Cordelia turned away from him and opened her refrigerator. Angel watched her and realized she was hiding behind the door, he could hear her breathing and she was controlling it, forcing it into a pattern and he realized it was to retain her outward package of confident and blas\u00e9.<\/p>\n
He took a breath himself, ran his hands over his face and started to rub his bottom lip with his fingers. What was it he was missing he? When had he lost complete control of this situation and had he ever had any control of the situation? Did he even know what the situation was?<\/p>\n
No. Angel decided the answer to all the questions were either no, or that he had no clue. No clue whatsoever. He looked around the apartment, seeing for the first time how small it was and that it wasn\u2019t at all how he\u2019d picture Cordelia living. If he\u2019d ever given it any thought, and he glanced at her again, saw the rigid way she was holding her back as she poured herself a drink and closed his eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia, I never said I didn\u2019t want you around.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou just \u2013\u201c<\/p>\n
\u201cLet me finish. I repeated what you said because I want it to sink in. Because it\u2019s wrong. I just don\u2019t want you to bait.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRight. Because we are so close.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia,\u201d Angel snapped realizing that woman was more aggravating than a few hundred years in hell. \u201cI care about your safety.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia breathed out through her nose and nodded. \u201cWhat heroes do.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not a hero.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh please. Like I didn\u2019t just see you rescue a girl.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou helped.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI was just there.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat exactly am I doing wrong here, Cordelia?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia suddenly spun around and looked at him confused. \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel held back a triumphant smirk. Yes, he\u2019d gotten her confused again; finally things were back on his side. Now he just had to keep them there. \u201cI mean, where did I go wrong, because I feel like we\u2019re having two very different conversations.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re nicely trying to tell me to get lost. And I\u2019m finally taking the hint.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d Damn it, he was back at \u2018whatting\u2019 in two seconds flat but he could straighten this out. \u201cI am not trying to tell you to get lost.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia rolled her eyes. \u201cThen what else is all that flattery about?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFlattery?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201c\u2019Cordelia, you are brave.\u2019 Please,\u201d she said complete with a lower voice to mimic him.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou are.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBased on what? My spatula wielding?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYour what?\u201d Angel shook his head and held up his hand. \u201cYou are brave because of everything you did last night. Not mention I saw you stake a few vampires back in Sunnydale, and you were always helping out. Even after your break up with Xander.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, I helped out Buffy. Big deal. So did a lot of people. Braver people than me. When you almost sucked the world in hell I ran like a little girl.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGood thing too, Dru probably would\u2019ve killed you after killing Kendra.\u201d Angel made his way back to the kitchen. \u201cI meant that, Cordelia.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen why won\u2019t you let me do this?\u201d She asked, looking at him again with the same expression she\u2019d worn when he\u2019d shocked her with the compliment she was refusing to take.<\/p>\n
He swallowed and studied her carefully; he wanted to remember the way her face looked without her usual confident mask protecting it. It made her look younger; it made her look her age. He reached out and pushed an few errant strands of her hair off one of her cheeks, she breathed in sharply but didn\u2019t back away and didn\u2019t snap her mask back into place. Good, Angel thought, and he leaned closer to her and prayed she got his point finally.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t want you hurt,\u201d he eyes fell to her arm and he let his hand fall onto it, touching the scratches with his fingertips. \u201cUnderstand?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d Cordelia whispered.<\/p>\n
Angel sighed. \u201cWhat\u2019s so hard to understand?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause five other women are in danger. And more after them from what you told me. So, I don\u2019t understand what\u2019s so damn important about me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYour\u2026\u201d Angel faltered as he met her eyes, eyes that weren\u2019t hiding a mixture of hurt, confusion and emotions he couldn\u2019t begin to decipher. Eyes of someone he didn\u2019t know at all and yet he\u2019d been about to say he was her friend. But it was a lie and he had a feeling if he said it Cordelia would call him on the fact that they were nothing but two people from the same town who had an acquaintance.<\/p>\n
She stood waiting her mask slowly starting to form as the seconds ticked by and Angel felt a loss at not being able to see more deeply into her. And he opened his mouth to try to say something but she suddenly jerked away from him, her arms crossing around her chest, her posture that of someone lost and frightened.<\/p>\n
And he flashed back to Sunnydale, to her in his bedroom at the mansion having a panic attack and unable to work the curtains. He\u2019d opened them for her, watched her press her head against the cool glass to cool rising temperature. He\u2019d forgotten the moment, until now, because her blood was rushing again and her everything from her stance to the way her head was tilted cried out that she was feeling desperate.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think I\u2019m going crazy sometimes, Angel. Willow called and told me Buffy was dead and I couldn\u2019t get her out of my head. I couldn\u2019t get Sunnydale out of my mind and I thought it was nuts, I thought I didn\u2019t want to go \u2013 until I got there. And even then I tried to tell myself I didn\u2019t want to be there\u2026 but I had to do it. And when you called. The same drive and crazy thoughts made me go meet you at your hotel. To say yes \u2013 and I have to do it Angel,\u201d she turned around and looked him in the eye, her hazel eyes darker than usual with determination. \u201cI have to do it.\u201d<\/p>\n
He nodded. And before he knew it Cordelia was smiling at him, this wide brilliant smile that nearly knocked him on his butt. Then she was chattering away about if he needed any more blood, if he wanted her to run out and get him the paper or anything.<\/p>\n
Then it hit him. He\u2019d agreed to let her be bait, agreed to let this woman he barely knew but wanted to know better walk right into the clutches of demons that would take one look at her and want to sacrifice her to their demon god. And his only thought for the next few hours was \u2018fuck\u2019.<\/p>\n
Part 18<\/b><\/p>\n
\u201cAs you two can see it\u2019s all quite simple,\u201d Wesley said as he picked up, the now cold, cup of tea on his desk.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe wire her up, send her in, she gets an address and a time \u2013 we wire her up again and she goes to be sacrificed. Yep. It\u2019s easy and don\u2019t take an hour to explain, and hopefully they\u2019ll want to kill her,\u201d Gunn said.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sure they will,\u201d Wesley said as he sipped his tea.<\/p>\n
Angel sat in his chair, his legs on the edge of the desk and stared at them. It wasn\u2019t what they were saying, he understood what they were saying \u2013 no one was wishing Cordelia dead, their entire plan did however hinge on the Ycuchbn wanting to kill her. It was an honest to goodness hope, and Wesley\u2019s confidence that Cordelia would make good demon bait was not unfounded, he\u2019d seen her attract them for Buffy more than once during his tenure in Sunnydale.<\/p>\n
What bothered Angel was that they were putting Cordelia into this situation and Wesley \u2013 who had once been interested in her as a woman \u2013 was now gleefully sipping his tea, feeling positive that demons would want to kill her. Didn\u2019t Wesley have any doubts because he was worried for her safety? Angel was sure his memories of him drooling over Cordelia were correct.<\/p>\n
He gripped the book in his hands tighter and raised his eyes to meet Wesley\u2019s and wondered if he silent question was about to be answered. Instead he peered into expectant eyes and realized Wesley just wanted Angel to voice his response to the plan. Wesley just wanted his approval. \u201cIt sounds\u2026\u201d Angel trailed off fighting the urge to voice his worry, \u201cplan\u2019s good, Wes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIf there is a problem?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere is no problem, not really\u2026I just don\u2019t want Cordelia hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOr the four other young ladies those Ycuchbn plan to sacrifice,\u201d Gunn added.<\/p>\n
Angel winced; of course he didn\u2019t want any innocent lives lost, but he didn\u2019t want to get know four strangers. He wanted to get to know Cordelia. And if she was nearly killed, again, after being in his sphere only twice he figured that wasn\u2019t a wish that was likely to come true. And what exactly did he think was going to happen?<\/p>\n
He and Cordelia would go out for coffee? He didn\u2019t go out for coffee; well he tried once with Buffy, but had actually ended up drinking cappuccino with Cordelia. He chuckled a bit remembering that he\u2019d actually had a pretty good time. Maybe they could go out for coffee?<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel?\u201d Gunn and Wesley said in unison, obviously trying to get his attention. He looked up to see them looking at him like he\u2019d sprouted four heads.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were looking unsure about the plan and then you started to laugh man \u2013 you going psycho on us again? You\u2019ve been sleeping right? No more supposed-to-be dead vampire ex-girlfriends sneaking into your bed at night?\u201d Gunn started to step out of the office, his eyes going right toward his hub-cab axe by the stairs to the garden entrance.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. No. I was just remembering this time\u2026\u201d he trailed off, he wasn\u2019t going to share his memory of cappuccino with Cordelia with anyone. Ever. \u201cIt wasn\u2019t about Darla or any other vampires for that matter,\u201d he stammered, hoping to assure them.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf something is bothering you, it would be best to share it with us, Angel,\u201d Wesley asked his expression drawn with concern and gravity.<\/p>\n
Angel sighed. Both Wesley and Gunn\u2019s heart rates had gotten higher in less than a minute. Because things were still tense between the three of them after Darla, all it had taken was him to laugh at an old memory to put them on edge. Guilt squeezed a bit harder around his chest, punishing him for forgetting to feel it fully for a moment and he knew he had to try to fix it. But how? On a whim he decided to go with the truth because it was easier than a lie. Removing his legs from the desk, he sat up in the chair and leaned forward. \u201cI just\u2026It\u2019s Cordelia.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia?\u201d Wesley asked.<\/p>\n
Wesley and Gunn exchanged a look and then looked back at Angel.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat about her?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel shrugged and then stood up, his inability to express what he was feeling making him restless. \u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t know what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnything about her.\u201d<\/p>\n
Wesley frowned and Gunn sat down throwing up his hands and said, \u201cLooks as if I should be getting comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d Wesley asked. \u201cWe know Cordelia.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo we?\u201d Angel asked Wesley, catching his eyes and trying to read into them. Wesley met the hard gaze with aplomb, but eventually cleared his throat and looked away from Angel.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, I knew her, back in Sunnydale. I of course was, well, I hadn\u2019t really found myself yet. She was quite an interesting young woman though, beautiful, so different than your usual young women of present. I found it odd she was around the library so often, and quite flattering she was interested in me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhoa? Whoa?\u201d Gunn sat up. \u201cThat looker had a thing for you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Wesley stood up straighter. \u201cWell, yes, she did. But I mean, I did nothing to encourage her\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were with her at the prom,\u201d Angel said.<\/p>\n
\u201cSaw me did you, between staring at Buffy and your shoes?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel shot Wesley a hard glare for the sarcastic remark.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou went to Buffy\u2019s Prom?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe really wanted me to go with her,\u201d Angel ran his hand over his face and glanced at Wesley. \u201cAnd yes, I saw you dancing with Cordelia. I was amazed she\u2019d come alone to be honest. Seemed odd considering who she was.\u201d<\/p>\n
Wesley nodded. \u201cWell, yes, that was quite odd. I never did find out why, we never really talked again after we\u2026 well, our chemistry wasn\u2019t quite what we thought it be.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel noted Wesley\u2019s temperature rose and his cheeks flush, and decided he didn\u2019t want to know.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were at a High School Prom? Angel? At a prom? And Cordelia Chase, that drop dead, though skinny, brunette had a crush on you?\u201d Gunn echoed, his eyes darting back and forth between Angel and Wesley. \u201cDamn! You two need to talk about Sunnydale way more often, man,\u201d he said, grinning at Wesley.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t think so,\u201d Wesley argued.<\/p>\n
Angel started to pace in front of his desk, knowing that Wesley was going to pull the conversation back on any moment. If just to shut Gunn up.<\/p>\n
\u201cI guess besides our flirtation and a few odds and ends, I don\u2019t know Cordelia all that well…but I\u2019m confused. What is it that worries you about her, again?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel inwardly groaned, he\u2019d been right and he turned mid-stride and stared at Wesley.<\/p>\n
\u201cOooh, he\u2019s looking at you like you are being stupid, English.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI see that, Charles. Angel?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe the fact we are asking her to put her life on the line. Literally.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, we know she\u2019s quite adept at handling and bouncing back from life and death situations, Angel.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLucky. She\u2019s just lucky, Wesley. All of you were lucky, considering you lived on a Hellmouth. And she\u2019s already gotten hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh. I see. You just feel guilty.\u201d Wesley sat down, the tension in his shoulders relaxing.<\/p>\n
Angel crossed his arms over his chest. \u201cIt\u2019s not just that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course it is. But, she\u2019s agreed to help, and she\u2019s not mad about the other night with that demon warrior from Wolfram & Hart. Just relax. We will have our eyes on her and she\u2019ll be safe.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel frowned.<\/p>\n
Gunn stood up. \u201cI\u2019m going to go check out the old hood. I\u2019ll be back around the time; the beauty from Sunnydale is showing up. And English, I\u2019m so asking her about the chemistry you two shared and if he really was The Slayer\u2019s prom date.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGunn!\u201d Wesley shouted but the man left the room and Angel just rolled his eyes.<\/p>\n
Wesley let his head fall on the desk. \u201cShe\u2019ll tell him. One thing I remember about her. Blunt honesty, no tact, no softening the edges,\u201d Wesley moaned.<\/p>\n
Angel smirked at Wesley\u2019s embarrassment; despite hoping he didn\u2019t hear the answer to Gunn\u2019s questions. \u201cI always liked that about her,\u201d he said, then he cleared his throat to bring Wesley back to his concern.<\/p>\n
\u201cI want her back watched constantly, Wesley. And tonight, we prep her until her eyes shut. I want her knowing everything she needs to know, and then some more.\u201d<\/p>\n
Wesley nodded his understanding as he stood up, but before he left the office he turned back and looked at Angel. \u201cThis is more than just guilt isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI want her alive.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAs do I. But\u2026 what is really behind this?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel sighed and sat back down at his desk. He felt defeated suddenly, he wasn\u2019t sure if he could say it out loud but it was Wesley asking. Wesley, who was still on edge about his behavior possibly turning too dark again. Angel would never forgive himself but here was Wesley \u2013 every day forgiving him. Angel had no illusions that Gunn was only around more for Wesley than Angel. If he could confide things in anyone couldn\u2019t it be this man, didn\u2019t he at least owe this man to try? He cleared his throat, taking in an unneeded breath for courage.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s that, the other night with Cordelia \u2013 I realized some things, and one of them is that I don\u2019t know her, and\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019d like to change that?\u201d Wesley asked, his eyes widening in surprise at the thought, and Angel\u2019s confirmation of it.<\/p>\n
Angel swallowed, Wesley’s shock told him what he already knew. His reaction to Cordelia Chase was out of the norm and probably wrong \u2013 on more than one level. But what they were he didn\u2019t know. \u201cIt\u2019s weird, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI dare say,\u201d Wesley whispered, his blue eyes darting minutely back and forth, revealing to Angel that he was thinking deeply about the matter that\u2019d just been revealed to him.<\/p>\n
It made Angel frown, he wasn\u2019t sure he wanted to know where Wesley\u2019s intellect was taking him. \u201cI\u2019m going to read, you can go.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh. Very well.\u201d Wesley stepped out into the lobby obediently but after a few steps turned back. He stayed out of the office but spoke with force to Angel. \u201cWhen you say you want to change that\u2026you do mean in the platonic sens–\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course,\u201d Angel interrupted.<\/p>\n
Wesley gave a wry smile and walked away.<\/p>\n
Angel furrowed brow and silently repeated to himself that his interest in getting to know Cordelia was strictly non-sexual. Why would it be? Because she is a sensual, and beautiful woman<\/i>, A voice whispered in his head.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Cordelia chewed on her lower lip, worrying it with the blunt edges of her teeth due to anxiety, as she waited for her boss to get off the phone. Bonnie Whitney, was a workaholic woman in her late thirties who blamed everyone else for her lack of a husband except herself.<\/p>\n
She also had no talent and relied on the talent of her partner, Darlena Roberts and her secretary, Cordelia to help keep the Interior Design business afloat. Cordelia wondered daily why it was Darlena had gone into business with this woman and had concluded it was because Bonnie came from money. It was either that, or there was some kind of Black Arts involved and Cordelia tried to keep her mind away from things that went under the category of supernatural. Or at least she had, lately it was all she was thinking about it seemed, and here she was in her bosses office, banking on the fact \u2013 yet again that Bonnie would be lost with her eye for color and design \u2013 to get permission any day off she wanted to run off to an audition in the coming week or so.<\/p>\n
She figured it was the best way to cover her bets at her real job, while doing the Bait job for Angel. She\u2019d done it before when she wasn\u2019t sure about when a call back would be, or come in, and usually she got her way. However, lately, Bonnie had become even bitterer than usual and was being a bit stricter on Cordelia\u2019s hours and when she took off for auditions. Cordelia said a little prayer to God that Bonnie would see that she had to keep Cordelia happy, if she wanted to keep her clients, and let her have her way. She also pushed away the slight nagging guilt at using her power of the woman to her advantage; it really wasn\u2019t that often \u2013 was it?<\/p>\n
Bonnie hung up the phone with a loud clack of plastic against plastic. \u201cThat bitch,\u201d she swore under her breath.<\/p>\n
Cordelia felt her heart lodge in her throat. This was not going to be easy, she studied Bonnie\u2019s face, then looked at the papers on the desk, hoping she could guess which client, what the problem was and come up with a quick solution. There were sketches of a bathroom on the top of the papers, maybe it was Mrs. Baker, she was actually a bitch.<\/p>\n
\u201cMrs. Baker didn\u2019t like the tiles I sent over?\u201d Cordelia asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, no on the contrary. She loved them. The designs anyway, but she hated the colors. I tried to explain that of course they don\u2019t come in any other\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia\u2019s mind whirled, who made the tiles she sent over to Mrs. Baker\u2019s home? It was a small upstart company she\u2019d found while searching for fresh styles. Maybe if she promised more business she could talk them into shelling out the dough to make the tiles in colors that would suit Mrs. Baker. \u201cOh, well Lydia from Ginger Snaps is really nice and she could use more business. Maybe if we offer to show their stuff to more clients they will work with us to find Mrs. Baker a pleasing color?\u201d Cordelia punctuated the sentence with her megawatt smile.<\/p>\n
Twenty minutes later she had permission to take off when need be, as long as Lisa didn\u2019t mind covering and she made sure to call in, or tell her or Darlena before leaving. Cordelia slid into her desk chair, grinning madly and winked at Lisa since she was so happy it\u2019d gone so well.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s the audition for?\u201d Lisa asked, laughing at Cordelia\u2019s wink and swiveling her chair towards Cordelia\u2019s desk, so they could really talk.<\/p>\n
\u201cHuh?\u201d Cordelia asked, already distracted as she looked up Ginger Snaps main office number in the computer address book.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s the audition you just got permission to bail and load more work on me for?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh!\u201d Cordelia looked down and felt so bad. \u201cLisa, I\u2019m so sorry, I didn\u2019t thank you for agreeing did I? Thank you. I\u2019ll buy you lunch for a week.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll take the free lunch, but I don\u2019t mind. I can\u2019t wait to say, \u2018I know Cordelia Chase when she was just a lowly secretary like me\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia laughed. \u201cYou will still know me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Lisa rolled her eyes. \u201cPlease, like you will remember us little people. Now what\u2019s the audition?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia frowned suddenly and realized that she had no clue what to say. What should she say? What was a good lie? God, she hated lying to people she lied. Her boss was one thing, sheep-like people like most of the actors she knew was fine too. But Lisa was so nice and she made most of her working hours actually enjoyable. \u201cIt\u2019s kind of a modeling thing,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
\u201cA modeling thing?\u201d Lisa echoed.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell it\u2019s\u2026 damn it. It\u2019s not an audition. Though if I get one in the next week, I\u2019ll so use the ready made permission trust me. I\u2019m doing a favor for a friend.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd it has something to do with modeling?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel\u2019s kind of like a detective you see and he needs someone to help go undercover. He has no women working for him and apparently the only one he knew willing to do things wasn\u2019t \u2018right\u2019 for this modeling agency.\u201d<\/p>\n
Lisa\u2019s eyes widened. \u201cOh. I see. This place is like a front for X-rated movies isn\u2019t it? They take advantage of young girls and a parent hired your friend?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia raised an eyebrow, she\u2019d forgotten how easy it was for folks with no clue to come up with equally horrid reasons that had nothing to do with the supernatural, and usually scared Cordelia more. \u201cYep. So, I\u2019m helping out Angel.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t remember you mentioning him before?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHaven\u2019t. Haven\u2019t seen him in years. He, uh, dated that girl who died.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh,\u201d Lisa frowned. \u201cHow is he handling her death?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia shrugged. \u201cPrivately. I really don\u2019t know. It\u2019s complicated. He just remembered I said I lived in Los Angeles, too and was an actress.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh. He remembered you,\u201d Lisa raised her eyebrows. \u201cHe good-looking?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia stared at Lisa but then she smiled. Talking to her about the hotness that was Angel was a much safer topic than Buffy, or anything she would be doing to help Angel out. \u201cI\u2019ll put it to you this way. First time I ever saw him back in school my first thought was: Hello, Salty Goodness.\u201d<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
The conversation about Angel\u2019s sexiness, while she had thought was a good idea, turned out to be a bad one. Cordelia had ended up sharing one to many of her old high school fantasies about Angel, her and things of an intimate sexual nature that she was finding it very hard to push them back away. Where they belonged, buried deep in the back of her mind. She had thought after meeting Angelus and learning about the curse she had purged herself of her attraction to Angel. That by not thinking about her old fantasies, she would have forgotten all the details that her imagination and youth had dreamt up.<\/p>\n
Apparently though she hadn\u2019t, because she\u2019d remembered them all, especially the ones too racy to share in an office setting, and she\u2019d remembered them in vivid detail. And now that she\u2019d actually had experience, her mind had instantly reshaped the fantasies with a more realistic bent and it had just made them all the hotter.<\/p>\n
Which left her feeling stupid and a bit turned on outside of Angel\u2019s hotel, once again reminding herself of what happened when Angel got happy. He couldn\u2019t have sex, and as a result because she was nothing if a not a woman who liked her neck on her shoulders and her heart beating \u2013 she would never ever think of him as, salty goodness again.<\/p>\n
Taking a deep breath, Cordelia breathed in and out, thinking with each exhale and inhale: Angel and sex equals torture and death<\/i>. She also started to list all the things about Angel, that after her initial lustful impression had faded had annoyed her. He wore way too much black, he was broody, he only had eyes for Buffy Summers. He acted like a dog on a leash around Buffy, never really standing up for himself or thinking for himself. It had really gotten on her nerves, why didn\u2019t he ever say anything that was a thought of his own? It was always agreeing with Buffy, or Buffy asked me, or Buffy said.<\/p>\n
Cordelia smiled. Irritation and her motto in place, she once again had succeeded in making all her sexual thoughts and fantasies fade. Plus they\u2019d been the fantasies of a high school girl, they had nothing to do with the here and now. And the here and now, was her helping a vampire cursed with a soul, who basically lived his life like he was a eunuch. A ha! She smirked, Angel is a eunuch. She burned the thought into her mind and got out of her car.<\/p>\n
It was time to get bored to death and learn a bunch of stuff about the demons she was going bait. She walked through the back garden of the Hyperion, noticing it had the same flowers as his mansion growing on the fence and up the outer walls. Wonder what it was Angel liked about it? Or was it his evil half that liked it, he had taken over that mansion while evil, she reminded herself? She\u2019d have to ask him.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel?\u201d she called out walking into the building and she smiled when he stepped out of his office. He gave her what she guessed was a smile, maybe a half-smile in return, then he looked around the lobby and seemed to sniff the air.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey. Wesley must have stepped out\u2026\u201d he frowned, glanced around as he waved her over to him.<\/p>\n
Cordelia crossed the lobby, dropped her purse on the counter and smiled at him. \u201cSo, just us for now?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel nodded. \u201cI could, uh, make you some coffee?\u201d<\/p>\n