Part 6<\/b><\/p>\n
He\u2019d expected it to take him longer. The memories and emotions about Buffy were tumultuous and random. They covered the hundred years before her, the century before that and the random years of hell after her. There was the freshness and freedom he had felt about seeing her as she learned of her destiny and of her powers. The knowledge that she was where he had to head, to help, to aid her and against all rationale fallen in love with her.<\/p>\n
And he loved her still, would love her always. Yet, he was at her grave, he was standing a few feet away staring at her name etched in stone. It meant he was ready to say goodbye and he felt surprised by the ease in which the decision had been reached. To stop his thoughts of her, to leave the mansion and make his way to the cemetery to the patch of earth that held her body. That held a body that would never hold her soul again. She wasn\u2019t even here, just her name in stone, just the dates of a short life \u2013 shorter than his own human life \u2013 and the epitaph that showed she\u2019d done more than most imagine.<\/p>\n
She\u2019d saved the world. A lot. Angel supposed she\u2019d lived, she\u2019d had family, friends that would die for her, she\u2019d loved him and even loved another. And she\u2019d given him more than he could explain. More than he could even fully understand, because until he\u2019d met her. Angel had had no clue how to live. He\u2019d just been a monster, stopped by a conscience and drowned by his own guilt. He\u2019d made attempts at life, he\u2019d made attempts to care about the lives he found he could no longer taunt, maim and then finally kill\u2026 but he\u2019d never found the strength or emotion to care until Buffy.<\/p>\n
She was the first. The first to make him care. The first to make him love. How was it he was here, at her grave, already, willing to say a goodbye and move on? It startled him but he couldn\u2019t deny the truth of it.<\/p>\n
He\u2019d been standing there for an hour now, remembering her. The first time he\u2019d seen her, watched her take in and accept her calling to fight the darkness of the world. So young, so free and suddenly with so much on slight shoulders. She\u2019d awed him with the determination and heart she\u2019d taken on the duty. Unable to turn her back, unable to not care about the people around her. Right and wrong seemed so easy to her. It amazed him and fascinated him. It was still a struggle for him, which was the right and wrong turn to make and he still slipped.<\/p>\n
Her mistakes, her judgments and her assumptions were never moral slips. She\u2019d never tasted true darkness, though she lived trapped inside it with the monsters. He had envied it, wanted her to remain untouched by the heavy pound of evil-done that clouded him daily and would\u2019ve done anything to assure it. He\u2019d walked away once thinking it would, denying it was his own fear that had driven to run.<\/p>\n
He closed his eyes, he\u2019d once thought if they could\u2019ve been together that nothing would stop him from taking her and keeping her forever. Angel laughed and wondered if she knew now, about the one perfect day they\u2019d had together. About his heartbeat and his love of chocolate and peanut butter? He wondered if her death had given her the gift of that memory back? Or was he still the only one who remembered those moments, that day and the decision to take it back?<\/p>\n
A decision Angel found he didn\u2019t regret, because he hadn\u2019t earned it, because they would have to leave the bed sometime and her life was still tied to the darkness. Things wouldn\u2019t have remained steady, perfect and he had yet to earn blood that pumped through his heart. He may never earn it, it may never come but it didn\u2019t matter. He had no regrets, but he couldn\u2019t help but wonder why?<\/p>\n
There was no more chances for him and Buffy, hadn\u2019t he always thought in the back of his mind that maybe someday the timing, the moment would be right. That maybe they\u2019d get a one last chance? Angel dug his toe into the dirt and wondered about her soul. Where did it go?<\/p>\n
His own soul had been pulled from somewhere and placed inside of him, a vampire. Buffy\u2019s? Where had it gone? He knew so much, but he didn\u2019t know that answer \u2013 he just hoped it was bright. No, he knew. He knew she was someplace where the darkness he\u2019d wished she hadn\u2019t had to know was never going to touch her again.<\/p>\n
The only thing he regretted was the time he\u2019d been soulless, the guilt of his actions then would always burn him but he had no regrets about him and Buffy. The choices they made, the fights they had, the pain they inflicted and the happiness and love shared. He felt okay, it confused him, but it felt right to be at her grave with a goodbye on his lips and the knowledge he\u2019d love and miss her until the day he was dust.<\/p>\n
\u201cBuffy,\u201d his voice was harsher than he expected, he cleared his throat knowing it was fruitless but he wanted to sound clear. He laughed at himself, clear for what the dirt and grass? No, she\u2019d hear him. \u201cBuffy, I\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAww, ain\u2019t it sweet\u2026tell you what, man, what if I make it so you can join this Bunny person?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel tensed at the intruders voice and he sniffed the air. He wasn\u2019t surprised to smell the telltale scent of another vampire, or that mold and dirt was still a part of his clothes. He turned and took in the younger demon, a very young demon from the stance he had and the overly arrogant confidence spread across his vampire visage.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s Buffy,\u201d Angel said before launching himself at the other vampire.<\/p>\n
~~<\/p>\n
Angel brushed the dust off his leather jacket and shirt, grumbling at the grass stain marring the silk of his shirt and wondering again why he kept buying silk shirts \u2013 he just couldn\u2019t seem to help himself. Rolling his shoulders, he started back towards Buffy\u2019s grave intent on finishing what he\u2019d started. He wouldn\u2019t feel right until he did, the lump in his throat and the constriction in his chest wasn\u2019t going to fade until he\u2019d told he loved her, would always and said his goodbye. It was going to hurt, he might cry and he knew it but he knew it was right and it would be worth it. Somehow.<\/p>\n
Moving around a tree, he stalled mid-step when he realized that there was a shadowed figured near Buffy\u2019s grave. He frowned, hoping it wasn\u2019t another damn vampire and stalked forward utilizing his skill of stealth. The smell of plums mixed with coming rain told him instantly it was Cordelia. Her scent had always reminded him of a coming rainstorm and he had to admit it fit what he knew of her personality from the time he\u2019d known her before moving to L.A. She\u2019d come to the grave, he\u2019d thought she would have done that sooner but perhaps she\u2019d spent most of the day with Willow and Xander. Disappointment flooded him, as he realized he\u2019d have to wait longer to speak one last time with Buffy.<\/p>\n
He finally stopped walking, thinking for a moment of where to go to wait when Cordelia started to talk.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey. I would have been here sooner, but I ended up in The Bronze. Remember when you almost staked me there, I don\u2019t know; I ended up outside the bathroom thinking about that. I thought you were such a freak. You nearly killed me. But then\u2026 you saved me from the poor girl, the sociopath who turned invisible and hated me. Then there was so many other things, but I guess I remember the almost staking and Homecoming the most\u2026\u201d Cordelia trailed off and squatted down on her heels, reaching out she touched the epitaph on the tombstone.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou didn\u2019t save the world that night \u2013 but you kept us alive. Then we both lost Homecoming Queen to those two stupid nobodies. I would have way preferred losing to you. Not because you were The Slayer, not because you saved my life, or anything, but because you were worthy competition. I had to step up and fight, I had to keep on my toes. I never bitched at you, or gave you a hard time because of disliking you \u2013 well, I did sometimes. But mostly it was, you were my equal Buffy. Truth is if you hadn\u2019t had be out saving the world and beheading demons, you would have given me a run for my money every day in the halls of Sunnydale High. That\u2019s why I couldn\u2019t stand you. Think it\u2019s why I got on your nerves too \u2013 why you got so mad I forgot to tell you about the school pictures. Why I didn\u2019t tell you about them? You said that night, while we were hiding that you wanted to win Homecoming because you wanted to be chosen for something besides Slayerdom\u2026\u201d Cordelia trailed off again and took a long deep breath.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, I didn\u2019t get it then, don\u2019t know if I get it now, Buffy. I never had time to react that night, there was the damn demon and then that bomb-thingy\u2026and the running and that vampire I scared off, then the damn guys with the guns\u2026then we lost. And I just wanted to take a bath to be honest\u2026\u201d Cordelia laughed. \u201cAnd I\u2019m totally getting off subject. You want to know what I was going to say, Buffy? What I was going to tell your damn chosen little ass? That you were a blind stupid bitch that\u2019s what.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia made Angel jump as she stood up swiftly to punctuate her sudden shift in tone and emotion. \u201cI was thinking, who is this girl\u2026 Chosen for more than the freaky things in the night. Doesn\u2019t she know my boyfriend talks about her consistently? Doesn\u2019t she get that Willow and Giles would probably die for her, facing a whole bunch of danger they shouldn\u2019t have to see? Doesn\u2019t she get that she had Angel; this totally to die for boyfriend who sure he went evil and all but it was because of bliss \u2013 because of you. Damn Buffy, you had a mother who gave a damn for you. She fought for you. Me, my parents never noticed if I came home or not. I never had to call and lie about staying over at your house or Willow\u2019s for all night cram sessions. And while we were fighting for our lives, Willow and Xander were all worried and guilty about kissing and cheating on me and Oz. They only put us together, because of guilt, because their guilt about me got things screwed up with you. It was all about you. You inspired all this loyalty and love and it sure as hell wasn\u2019t because you can stake vampires. Every single animosity between you and me had nothing to do with your freaky nature Buffy. It was all just life, real life and petty, stupid, childish jealousy on my part. Because you had people who loved you and were loyal to you without any doubt or wonder about it. You could count on them and I hated seeing you take them for granted. Why I did things, why I said things, why I was such a bitch.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia took a deep breath and squatted back down. \u201cBut, damn it I really did like you too. And I got what your life was like, how hard it had to be with all that pressure and I knew after Homecoming that when you saw me, you saw this normal part of being a teenager you thought you wanted. Being crowned Queen, having popular friends, homework and only cheating boyfriends and not homicidal ones to worry about. I get that. More than I did then, but I got it then. And I never forgot Homecoming, Buffy. Our competition or what you said in that shack. And well, I went to a flower store today. Was going to get you yellow roses to match your yellow hair or something. But there were all these flowers and I looked at them and all could I think of was that they weren\u2019t quite right. And then I walked out of the store and went to dollar store and found this. It\u2019s kind of close to what you or I should\u2019ve won Homecoming night. I remember you said you looked good in a tiara. And I knew you were right. I mean what pretty girl doesn\u2019t look great in a tiara? And I just wanted you to know, that no one is mourning the destiny you were called for. Willow\u2019s mourning her best friend, Dawn\u2019s mourning her sister, Xander\u2019s mourning his friend and his first real crush. Giles is mourning someone that was like a daughter to him. I even saw Angel, Buffy. He\u2019s mourning his love. And me. I\u2019m mourning the only real competition I ever had in Sunnydale High School. So here you go, I dub you Homecoming Queen. Here is your tiara.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel had become transfixed, he\u2019d known at first as he listened he should have left but he hadn\u2019t. Then Cordelia had switched gears so many times in her tone and her body language toward the grave that he couldn\u2019t move. And then she\u2019d given Buffy in her speech something he knew would mean the world to her. Cordelia had told her that she saw Buffy as a normal girl. His mind reeled at it and then he saw the tiara Cordelia had pulled out of a bag, glistening in the moonlight on the tombstone and he stepped forward. He wanted a better look; he wanted to imagine what it would like in Buffy\u2019s hair and the smile she would have getting to wear it. His foot crunched against a fallen branch on the ground and it punctured the silence that had fallen around them.<\/p>\n
Before he knew it a cross was in front of him and Cordelia was yelling something about knowing how to use the stake in her other hand. He held up his hands in a protective gesture and shook his head. \u201cIt\u2019s Angel. Cordelia it\u2019s me.\u201d<\/p>\n
The cross lowered and Cordelia cursed at him. \u201cFuck. Angel, don\u2019t sneak up on a girl in a Sunnydale cemetery unless you have a death wish\u2026\u201d her eyes widened. \u201cOh! Oh my God! You don\u2019t do you! Buffy wouldn\u2019t like that and don\u2019t make me have to suicide watch you I don\u2019t think I have the stamina for that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat? No. I just wanted to look at the tiara\u2026\u201d Angel heard himself stammer.<\/p>\n
Cordelia stared at him, her mouth opening and closing; he heard her blood swishing through her veins as it got hotter from her embarrassment. She glanced at the tiara and back at him and then her eyes flashed with anger. \u201cYou were eavesdropping on my private conversation with Buffy! You dumbass!\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel stared at her, what had she just called him. \u201cI am not.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre too. You don\u2019t eavesdrop on people when they are talking to the dead.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, I didn\u2019t mean to but you were here when I came back \u2013 I wasn\u2019t done talking, I hadn\u2019t even gotten to start talking to her when a vampire showed up thinking I\u2019d make a good snack.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia rolled her eyes. \u201cSo? I don\u2019t see how a vampire dusting gives you a good reason to eavesdrop on me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt didn\u2019t, I just\u2026 you were talking and then\u2026 the Homecoming story\u2026 damn it I just want to see the tiara okay?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat? What the hell, should I have bought you one too? Could had a certain pizzazz but it wouldn\u2019t really look right with the leather.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEverything works with leather.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJust keep telling yourself that, dumbass. Maybe it will make it true.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel closed his eyes and wondered what the hell to do. How did he stop this never-ending conversation and get to what he wanted. A better look at the tiara, so he could imagine Buffy in it and then say goodbye to the brilliant image of sunshine and gold he was sure it would make. \u201cCordelia, I still need to\u2026 I didn\u2019t get to be alone with her\u2026\u201d he trailed off and looked over her shoulder at where he knew the grave was but Cordelia was blocking.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh!\u201d Cordelia\u2019s eyes grew round and she nodded. \u201cSorry, I\u2026well you can apologize to me later.\u201d She bent down and grabbed her purse, and the empty bag that had held the tiara, then she breezed past him.<\/p>\n
Glancing over his shoulder, he watched until she disappeared from his sight then he hurried to the tombstone and picked up tiara and smiled. \u201cShe\u2019s right, Buffy. It looks good on you,\u201d he whispered settling it back down, the image he\u2019d wanted burned into his mind. \u201cBuffy, I\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
And Angel said goodbye to his first love.<\/p>\n
Part 7<\/b><\/p>\n
Angel felt weird. Grief and sadness mixed with relief and acceptance were the emotions that weighed down his chest and it was the last thing he expected. It was weird, weirder even than the fact that Cordelia Chase was sitting in the passenger side of his Plymouth, her feet on the dashboard, munching on a candy bar. Frowning he stepped up to the car, slapped her legs and then glided to the driver’s side and slipped in, quickly readjusting the seat and the wheel to his satisfaction.<\/p>\n
\u201cRude,\u201d Cordelia snapped at him.<\/p>\n
And he turned to see her glaring at him and assumed she\u2019d been holding the same expression since then. \u201cYou\u2019re getting crumbs on the leather.\u201d<\/p>\n
She stared at him and then followed his gaze to her candy bar. \u201cWhatever. I didn\u2019t realize you were Felix Unger.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWho?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNever mind. Pop Culture. Vampire. Stupid Cordelia,\u201d she muttered to herself and started to settle her feet back up in front of her.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey,\u201d Angel snapped, and slapped her lower leg again. \u201cFeet on the floor of the car.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, okay, don\u2019t go grr on me,\u201d she moved back in her seat and proceeded to knock her purse off the seat and topple all its contents onto the floor. \u201cOh, wonderful, look what you made me do, Angel.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel rolled his eyes and prayed that none of the things a woman like Cordelia carried around with her would end up stuck or staining the floor of his car. \u201cJust pick it all up.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia made some sort of sound at him that Angel supposed was the human form of a growl. He chose to ignore her and started the engine and drove quickly out onto the road.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh. Before I forget. Faith wants you to meet her,\u201d Cordelia said, as she straightened up from grabbing the contents of her purse.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d Angel looked over at her blankly.<\/p>\n
\u201cFaith. Brunette. A Slayer. Kind of feral in nature. I guess she got out of her coma and everyone forgave her, or something. She wants to meet you. Some tomb by the cemetery near the mansion.\u201d<\/p>\n
Faith knew he was in town? How? Damn it, he didn\u2019t want to see anyone. He just wanted to grieve and say goodbye, and be done with it. Why didn\u2019t anyone seem to get that this was a private trip. \u201cHow the hell does she know I\u2019m here?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe car. Duh. I didn\u2019t tell a soul. She just knew this was your ride.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat tomb?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBalling, Bearing, Barstool\u2026Barrington!\u201d Cordelia stuttered, stammered and then suddenly smiled as she remembered and caught his eye.<\/p>\n
Angel glanced away from her and focused on the road, accepting the fact he was going to have to go talk to Faith. \u201cShe didn\u2019t mention why she wanted to see me did she?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo I look like a secretary?\u201d Cordelia sighed. \u201cWait, don\u2019t answer that, I probably do.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel gave her a sidelong glance; she looked like she always had, stunning and way too pretty for any ego to handle. \u201cJust wondering if she said why, I hope it’s not demons or something. I need to get back to LA.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t think it was Hellmouth related. Got the feeling it was about\u2026well\u2026 you know,\u201d Cordelia trailed off, her voice lowering and her face turning completely to the right and away from him. It got the point across loud and clear though without making any big deal about. Faith wanted to discuss Buffy. Angel growled.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhoa. You aren\u2019t going to bite the messenger are you?\u201d Cordelia\u2019s hand fell into her purse and the cross she\u2019d shoved in his face at Buffy\u2019s grave started to poke out from its lips.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d Angel swallowed. \u201cDidn\u2019t mean to do that out loud. I just don\u2019t want to talk about\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, I get that,\u201d Cordelia said, cutting him off before he finished the sentence. \u201cIf it is any consolation, I think that Faith may want to talk about her feelings and not yours.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel growled again.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, right, you do the silent broody thing. Guess you don\u2019t want her feelings on the subject anymore than airing your own to other people\u2026And Hey!\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel felt himself tense, Cordelia\u2019s voice had risen to an odd tone and it was angry one. He felt her body coil and spring toward him in the moving car, and her breath was suddenly on his neck. And he had to stop for a stoplight, he slowly hit the car’s brake and waited for Cordelia\u2019s next move.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou completely, and very rudely eavesdropped on my private feelings on \u2018said unnamed subject\u2019 in the cemetery. And then proceeded to put your grubby hands over my special gift for her! You owe me a major apology tiara-man.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel cringed, he had eavesdropped but how could he not have. He\u2019d liked the speech, and he\u2019d liked the tiara, though not in the way Cordelia kept implying. \u201cI am not a tiara-man.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre too.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAm not\u2026 and you were loud, and I have very sensitive hearing\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t play the vampire hearing card with me bub,\u201d she slapped his shoulder. \u201cThe lights green.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel glared at her and then looked at where she\u2019d hit his shoulder. She\u2019d really hit him, it had hurt \u2013 not much but it had hurt. He pulled through the intersection and took a reflexive breath to help figure out how to get her to stop yelling at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cLook, I couldn\u2019t help listening and the tiara was a nice gesture\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s a compliment not an apology. Not that I am hating the compliment but I rather have both.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia, look\u2026I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you. See, was that really so hard.\u201d She poked him in the shoulder then and then settled back on her side of the car. Angel gave her a long sidelong glance as he slowed the car to take the left turn onto Crawford where his mansion was located. She was leaning back and biting haphazardly into her candy bar again, chocolate crumbs falling down from her mouth, missing her clothes and hitting his leather interior.<\/p>\n
\u201cChocolate on the leather, Cordelia,\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n
\u201cChill out. Shouldn\u2019t be hard you have no body temperature.\u201d<\/p>\n
He pulled into the long winding driveway to the mansion and slammed on the breaks by the front doors. \u201cYeah, well will you be okay alone?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIn a eerie dark mansion?\u201d Cordelia said getting out of the car. \u201cI don\u2019t know\u2026\u201d she bit her lip.<\/p>\n
Angel started to worry, God she wasn\u2019t going to make him take her to the cemetery with him. He wasn\u2019t sure he could stand another car ride with her \u2013 oh God, what if he had to bring her back to LA? Oh, God he was driving her back to LA, he could feel it in his bones. He had to get away from her now and figure out how to get his bearings. Of course how he was going to do that while trying not to talk to Faith about Buffy he didn\u2019t know.<\/p>\n
\u201cGotcha!\u201d Cordelia\u2019s loud snort of laughter broke into Angel\u2019s thoughts. There she was standing outside the car, her mouth wide open and her head thrown back in raucous laughter. \u201cYou should have seen your face. Your brow was so furrowed as you tried to think of a way to get rid of me for a few hours. Ha! Classic. You are so easy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel stared at her and felt torn between laughing himself or just driving away without another word. Instead he said. \u201cI don\u2019t want to get rid of you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah right. You want me to shut up and let you brood. Don\u2019t worry; when you get back I\u2019ll be asleep. And I\u2019ll try not to be chatty when I wake up,\u2019 Cordelia laughed again and then winked at him. \u201c\u2019Night Tiara-man, thanks for the use of the car today.\u201d<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Angel leaned against the Barrington tomb, straightened his leather jacket out before stuffing his hands into the pockets as he watched Faith expertly and swiftly take care of three vampires. She was moving quicker and with more grace than she\u2019d fought in the past, and with a lot less anger. He couldn\u2019t help but feel proud of her, since their time together in LA she\u2019d come a long way.<\/p>\n
Faith gave him a wide grin as she wiped dust off her black jeans and strutted up to him. \u201cDidn\u2019t think CC would give you the message. Then I was a bit concerned you might not show.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAlmost didn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHad to get away from CC?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe was getting chocolate all over my car.\u201d<\/p>\n
Faith snorted through her nose. \u201cYou are anal as hell, man.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel closed his eyes and let his head hit the hard wall behind him. He was not in the mood for another woman who would keep giving him snappy comebacks. There had been a reason he\u2019d wanted to be alone. \u201cLook Faith, what is it? It\u2019s not demon problems or something is it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, no. I got the Hellmouth guarded, got Giles doing the Watcher thing. It\u2019s\u2026okay. I mean I think they all accept me. Some more than others, namely Dawn. Which is good, she\u2019s everyone\u2019s main concern.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel nodded but grew concerned, Faith\u2019s posture was tightening up and she was getting the look she got when she was ready to attack. It made her eyes glint, like a wild cat or dog, she had so much pain inside of her that it wouldn\u2019t do for anyone to forget it. Last time it had gone unchecked she\u2019d gone rogue and done a lot of damage to herself and innocent bystanders. \u201cFaith? What is it?\u201d<\/p>\n
Faith groaned and lifted her hands above her head and cracked her back. \u201cIt\u2019s all this tension. All this pressure. I just\u2026 she\u2019s gone \u2013 and I know you get that, better than most. But she was keeping me sane. She didn\u2019t get everything, she couldn\u2019t but it was okay because she got the slayer thing just enough. Now it\u2019s just me. And unless I\u2019m willing to die for two seconds there will be no other Slayer ever. There were two of us; I wasn\u2019t alone. She and I we got close. We were really getting to be something\u2026\u201d Faith grunted and rolled her eyes. \u201cListen to me I\u2019m like all Hallmark card or something. It wasn\u2019t that mushy. She and I still got on each other\u2019s last nerve but there was a working relationship. A balance. I\u2019m scared.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat you\u2019ll lose the balance without her?\u201d Angel asked, beginning to understand why he\u2019d been called to the cemetery for the late night chat. Cordelia had been right; it had been about what Faith needed. It wasn\u2019t really even about Buffy which meant this was something he could do without having to fight his own selfish wants. Relief flooded him. \u201cYou can.\u201d<\/p>\n
Faith leaned next to him against the tomb and leaned her head toward him. \u201cI can?\u201d She asked her voice uncharacteristically void of arrogance.<\/p>\n
\u201cI did. Been a fight but I found my way without Buffy to keep me remembering the right and wrong of things. I knew them on my own, and some of those gray areas too. And I had friends. Let them in Faith, as much as they\u2019ll let you. All of you will get things done. Day after day.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd one day after the other, right \u2013 clich\u00e9 but true, huh?\u201d Faith asked him.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd I can call you?\u201d Faith asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cAlways,\u201d Angel said. \u201cIf you need a reality check, or just a lecture. Wesley will be willing, too.\u201d<\/p>\n
Faith sighed. \u201cHow is he?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFine.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy ain\u2019t he with you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDidn\u2019t let him come. Wanted to be alone.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd instead you got stuck with CC.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel laughed. \u201cIt isn\u2019t so bad.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019d make me freaking nuts. Want to rip that big mouth right off of her to shut her up.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel laughed. \u201cLong as she keeps talking about nothing I don\u2019t care.\u201d<\/p>\n
Faith laughed with him and then took a deep breath. \u201cI think I might.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCall you and the Wes-man. Keep in touch. I mean Giles is okay. Dawn\u2019s great. But you two are more on the level. I mean I beat you both up, you both hit back and still offered to help me back in LA. I just\u2026 what you two did meant something.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe both had our reasons.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd I did too,\u201d Faith whispered. \u201cFolks in Sunnydale, except maybe Giles, don\u2019t much get the guilt as motivation thing. What do they have to feel guilty about, schoolyard pranks?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel shook his head. \u201cYou know where Wes and I are.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah. Thanks,\u201d she moved away and looked around. \u201cWell, going to finish my patrol and head back to make sure the kids in her bed. She sneaks up to wait for me, lately. I guess it\u2019s a thing\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTake care of her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWith my life,\u201d Faith said and she winked at him, then ran away into the darkness.<\/p>\n
Angel stared after her, into the void that had wrapped her up and he smiled. She had a handle on things, she knew her limits and he felt sure if she really needed help or thought the pressure was getting to her she\u2019d call the hotel and talk to him or Wesley. Sunnydale was safe, something he\u2019d been sure of anyway but seeing it did bring about a certain relief.<\/p>\n
Standing straight, he cleared his mind and made his way back to his car. As he got nearer he heard the distinct sound of a phone ringing and he sighed. He could have sworn he turned the ringer off of his cell phone. Wesley had made him bring it but had promised to only call if something really huge happened. Frowning he got into the car and fumbled around, finding the phone under the seat and wondering when the hell it\u2019d fallen there. It could have been anytime; he never paid much attention to the damn contraption.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah,\u201d he barked into the phone. \u201cThis better be good.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia?\u201d A male voice asked sounding confused.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d Angel said, pulling the phone away from his ear and realizing that it wasn\u2019t his at all. Damn it, it must have fallen out of her purse earlier and he rolled his eyes. \u201cShe isn\u2019t here,\u201d he said lamely into the phone. \u201cI\u2019ll have her call you back, who are you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUh, who are you?\u201d The man asked, his voice now containing anger along with his confusion. \u201cShe told me she was with her girlfriends seeing a play some of them were in.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel raised his eyebrows; she\u2019d lied about her whereabouts interesting. Wonder why she hadn\u2019t told this guy she was going to Sunnydale to see her old friends because of Buffy? \u201cUh, look who are you and I\u2019ll just have her\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m Alec. Alec Pendergrast, her fianc\u00e9. Who are you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel, look she\u2019s not around. I\u2019ll just have her\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel? Angel who? You one of her acting friends?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel sighed and figured it wasn\u2019t up to him to tell this man the truth. \u201cSure. I mean yeah. I\u2019m in the play. She\u2019s out with her friends, somehow her phone got in my car. I\u2019ll have her call you back, Alex.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAlec.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAlec. Pendergrass?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPendergrast.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell Alec, she\u2019ll call you in an about an hour or so.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, you are in the play? How long have you known her, she\u2019s never mentioned you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel leaned back in the seat of the car frustrated, would this guy just shut up and let him hang up. \u201cNor you, look I need to go, so I can get her back her\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLook, do you know about my car?\u201d<\/p>\n
His car? Angel took the phone away from his ear and contemplated hanging up when he remembered why the man was wondering about his car. \u201cLook it had a flat\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh. Well it\u2019s being towed back to LA now. I can leave now to pick Cordelia up if that is what she wants. Just give me directions would you?\u201d<\/p>\n
He should have hung up, Angel thought and he gripped Cordelia\u2019s phone tighter. \u201cI\u2019m driving her back up. I live in LA too.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWho are you again?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAn acting friend of Cor\u2019s?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, I’d rather pick her up.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLook, she has a ride.\u201d Angel snapped. This guy was really starting to bug him and Cordelia had lied to him for a reason, he wasn\u2019t about to break her cover by giving him directions to Sunnydale. Him coming for her was Cordelia\u2019s call. \u201cIf she wants to change our plans I\u2019ll have her call you. In fact I\u2019ll just tell her to call you.\u201d Angel clicked off the phone before the man could say anything and smirked.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
\u201cCall your fianc\u00e9.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia looked up from where she was sitting on the bed in the mansion and stared at the vampire. He was standing at the foot of the bed, holding out her cell phone and looking at her expectantly, only she was too confused to take the phone. \u201cCall who?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYour fianc\u00e9?\u201d Angel said but he suddenly sounded uncertain. \u201cI\u2019m pretty sure he said you two were engaged.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWho? What? Where?\u201d Cordelia scrunched up her nose, feeling a sudden weight on her chest that she\u2019d thought her trip to the graveyard had released from her body. Fianc\u00e9? Engaged? Her? To Alec? He had to be talking about Alec; he did have her cell phone but how. And she wasn\u2019t anyone\u2019s fianc\u00e9e; she wasn\u2019t engaged. Not yet, and Alec though he was bound too hadn\u2019t been showing any signs of asking for her hand in marriage complete with a big sparkling diamond.<\/p>\n
\u201cAlec Pendergrast. He called you on your phone after I talked to Faith. I thought it was my phone at first. Anyway it must have rolled under the seat when you dropped your purse.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAlec called me his fianc\u00e9?\u201d<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
\u201cThat bastard!\u201d Cordelia sat up more fully on the bed and glared at Angel, since Alec wasn\u2019t there. \u201cWhere the hell does he get off saying that I\u2019m engaged to him? He hasn\u2019t even asked me, and he\u2019s going around telling people that I\u2019ve said I\u2019d marry him. Sure of himself much? That arrogant son of a bitch.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel stepped away from the bed and set the phone down on a nearby chair. \u201cYeah, so, not going to call him back soon I take it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCall him back. God, no,\u201d Cordelia said and then she felt all the blood rush out of her. \u201cAngel! Please, please tell me you didn\u2019t tell him where I was, or why I was here. I told him I was going someplace else, a girl\u2019s weekend with acting friends to see a play.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, I know. He thinks I\u2019m an actor friend of yours you\u2019ve never mentioned.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia felt both relief and laughter run through her, she could just picture Alec\u2019s face when Angel had said he was a friend of hers on the phone. Alec let her come and go as she pleased, mostly, but she had noticed he got a bit possessive when she mentioned anyone male. She liked it a bit, only because it wasn\u2019t anything crude or out of control.<\/p>\n
Hearing Angel on her phone must have driven Alec nuts and that\u2019s what he deserved going around saying she was already his fianc\u00e9e. \u201cWell that I like. He\u2019s probably fuming about this mysterious guy named Angel. Serves him right. Um, why did he call? Was it just to say he loves me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUh, no. He heard about his car. Must have been towed in by the police. He\u2019s had it towed back to LA already. Wanted to come get you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia clenched her jaw and could feel her body temperature start to rise up in that restless and uncomfortable way it did sometimes when she was in Alec\u2019s apartment. She climbed off the bed and walked over to a window, fumbling with the heavy velvet curtain over it, trying to get to the glass. It had to be cooler than the air in the room. \u201cYou told him I didn\u2019t need one right,\u201d she whispered still trying to fight with the curtain.<\/p>\n
Suddenly Angel\u2019s hand brushed her shoulder and the curtain was pulled away from the window. \u201cI told him I was bringing you back, and if you wanted to change our plans you\u2019d call him. Actually, I told him you\u2019d call him back more than once. He kept cutting me off.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s like that sometimes,\u201d Cordelia whispered, leaning her forehead against the glass, thankful it was cooler than her. She focused on the smooth surface and on making her breathing more even. \u201cAnd thank you for covering for me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWasn\u2019t my place not to.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia nodded and felt herself start to blush. Angel was standing right behind her, he\u2019d opened the curtain for her and he could probably hear the blood rushing through her body making her hot and uncomfortable. This was beyond embarrassing; she took a deep breath and forced a smile on her face. It was time to save some face.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, sorry for my outburst there and everything. And the phone thing\u2026so, um. I\u2019m just going to rest and everything. I take it we leave at sunset tomorrow?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGreat. Well until then I\u2019ll just stay out of your way, and you stay out of mine. I\u2019m sure we both still have some processing to do, you know with everything\u2026\u201d she trailed off and kept up with the unspoken rule they both had to not say anything about Buffy\u2019s death.<\/p>\n
\u201cRight,\u201d Angel said. \u201cThanks. And you\u2019re welcome.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia felt like his eyes were boring through her, was he buying her line about Buffy. It wasn\u2019t true, not anymore anyway. Right now all she wanted to do was remember why she was dating Alec, why she planned to say yes when he did finally ask her to marry him and why she liked her place in his life and his place in hers. There were reasons, she was sure of it, she just wasn\u2019t sure what they were but by the time Angel dropped her off at her apartment complex tomorrow night she would remember them all. And she\u2019d be able to clear everything up with Alec about Angel with few lies and a bat of her eyelashes.<\/p>\n
\u201cDitto, Angel,\u201d Cordelia said.<\/p>\n
Angel nodded. \u201cOkay, see you at sunset tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGreat.\u201d Cordelia kept the smile on her face until Angel left the room. Then she turned back to the window and once again let her forehead hit the glass.<\/p>\n