Part 2<\/b><\/p>\n
Angel hesitated before starting the car, looking sideways at the young woman sitting in his passenger seat. It felt wrong that he didn\u2019t mind. He\u2019d argued with Wesley for an hour that he needed to go to Buffy to\u2026 he wasn\u2019t sure what he would do when he got to the cemetery, but he\u2019d been insistent that he go it alone.<\/p>\n
It was about her and him, their connection and whatever happened, whatever came over him had to be done in private. Including the journey, which he was planning on taking his time doing, driving slowly, tempting dawn to come before he reached Sunnydale so he\u2019d have to wait longer. Prolong his visit.<\/p>\n
But now his journey wasn\u2019t alone and it wasn\u2019t with a stranger. Nor was it with a friend, which in some way and manner Wesley had become. In his passenger seat sat Cordelia Chase, in the back seat of the convertible was her suitcase and she was now staring at him, expectantly and he thought maybe impatiently.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you going to start the car?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh.\u201d He ignited the engine and pulled back out on the road, glancing at the Mercedes stranded on the side of the road. \u201cAre you sure about just leaving your car?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s not mine.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel stared at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t steal it. Geesh. Think much of me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell\u2026\u201d he trailed off realizing she hadn\u2019t meant did he remember her but that he didn\u2019t think highly of her. \u201cI mean I was surprised to see you, you know on the side of the road.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m just glad you weren\u2019t looking for dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n
He smiled wryly she never had been very tactful, choosing to go to the point of things and he had to admit it was refreshing after days of Wesley and Gunn walking around him on eggshells. Not sure what to do or say about Buffy.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s my boyfriends. I\u2019ll call him as soon as this damn thing gets a signal.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel glanced over at her again and saw she was fiddling with a cell phone. \u201cMine is always dying.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou have a cell phone?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWesley insisted all of us have one for quick communication in dire circumstances. Usually it doesn\u2019t help much.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWesley?\u201d Cordelia\u2019s eyes widen. \u201cAs in Wesley? Giles\u2019 Meek and Stuffier Twin?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel laughed. \u201cHe\u2019s gotten less meek. Actually, he\u2019s not bad in a fight. Useful with the research. He helps me out.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOut?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIn L.A. I have an agency. Private Investigations but we specialize in supernatural stuff\u2026 I try to help.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou mean, you help us L.A. citizens not get eaten by vampires and other stuff?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI try to,\u201d Angel gripped the steering wheel tighter. Buffy\u2019s face and then Doyle\u2019s flitting through his mind followed by a brief second of Darla. Anger and emptiness filled him and he forced himself to remind himself why he hadn\u2019t fallen to pieces. \u201cIt\u2019s all that matters, I guess,\u201d he whispered.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell what else are you going to do? Go into movies, they\u2019d wonder why you insisted on only filming at night. Some guys have big egos but they only cater to the unknowns so much you know\u2026\u201d Cordelia trailed off and Angel heard her swallow. \u201cIt\u2019s good you still help fight the big bads that are out there,\u201d she said her voice softer than usual.<\/p>\n
Angel had to agree, it was good he was helping, but he didn\u2019t know what to say. Instead he kept his eyes on the road and tried not to think about why Cordelia had been heading to Sunnydale. It was for the same reason as him and he was reminded again that he\u2019d wanted to do this alone. Yet, was Cordelia really company? He looked over at her and realized she\u2019d never think of going with him to the cemetery, she\u2019d probably go to the house first. She\u2019d be out in the daytime and not lurking at night in any shadows.<\/p>\n
He was still on his own journey, to Buffy, on his own. The way he wanted it and that was why it felt okay to have her in the car. She hadn\u2019t brought the reason they were both there up once and he had a feeling she wouldn\u2019t.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere do you want me to drop you off?\u201d He asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh. Um. My mom\u2019s I guess. She has a guest room, I think. I forgot to even call her. I wasn\u2019t really planning\u2026\u201d she trailed off and smiled at him. \u201cI don\u2019t always think ahead when I decide to visit Home Sweet Hellmouth.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere it used to be?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh. No. Government took that away when they got my dad on paying his taxes. That and everything else. No my mom left him and found a smaller place and a new husband. It\u2019s on Emery Street.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel nodded. \u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel glanced at Cordelia and waited.<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you for saving me from the side of the road and for the ride.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel shrugged. \u201cWasn\u2019t going to leave you out there in the dark.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia nodded. \u201cNo, right. You\u2019re a dark avenger. Saving people from the big bads of the world.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel looked at her and felt something tug at him. He would have helped anyone in her situation, especially so close to the Hellmouth, but he had felt a small sense of relief it hadn\u2019t been a stranger, he\u2019d liked seeing a familiar face and hearing a familiar voice. It had been nice. \u201cIt was nice to see you. See a familiar face.\u201d<\/p>\n
She smiled brightly at him but suddenly turned away her smile fading away. \u201cI never wanted to come back here.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel nodded to himself, turning his focus back to the road toward Sunnydale. He felt the same way, he never liked visiting Sunnydale and this time was especially unwanted.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Angel pulled his car in front of the house Cordelia pointed out as her mothers and looked at it. It was sterile. There was nothing on the lawn or the front porch that showed the tenants were even human.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s ugly,\u201d Cordelia said as she turned and pulled up her suitcase. \u201cNo wonder I\u2019ve never visited before and didn\u2019t think to call her first. At least Daddy has a sense of style,\u201d she paused and face him with a smile on her face. \u201cYou know, a sense of style due the fact he had large sums of cash from not paying his taxes.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel gave her a wry chuckled and figured it was part of how she dealt with her parent\u2019s choices. \u201cI\u2019ll wait.\u201d<\/p>\n
She moved out of the car and looked at him. \u201cFor what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFor you to get inside.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia rolled her eyes as she straightened up but she didn\u2019t turn around. Instead she stayed standing, facing him and he realized her breathing was getting louder and more controlled.<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you,\u201d Cordelia said as if it was one word and the she spun on her heel. Angel watched her make her way onto the porch, realizing with each swing of her hips that she was building up her determination to get through whatever would happen after she rang the bell.<\/p>\n
He heard the doorbell when she rang it and started a bit. He\u2019d forgotten how quiet towns like Sunnydale could be after being in the city so long. The sound of a doorbell at night could be heard by him at this hour of the night. So much could be heard at this hour in a small town, yet no one spoke of the screams that had to punctuate the air of the city over the Hellmouth. He frowned and wondered at the oddness of the world, how humans remained so ignorant of their surroundings and what was around them.<\/p>\n
He jumped in his skin again when he heard a loud knocking and focused his gaze toward the porch. Cordelia had put the suitcase down and was now knocking on the door. A loud insistent, constant rapping the kind that made the most reluctant hurry to open the door to stop the sound. Cordelia knew how to be annoying, Angel thought, waiting for her mother to answer the door.<\/p>\n
The door swung open a full minute of knocking later but it was a man in a ratty brown robe and a sour expression. The un-welcoming body language of the man made Angel uneasy and he found himself hoping Cordelia hadn\u2019t picked the wrong house. She had said she\u2019d never been there before.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s me, Cordel\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWho?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel closed his eyes and realized that Cordelia\u2019s conversation with this man wasn\u2019t going to go well at all.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia. Chase. Your wife\u2019s daughter.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh. You. She\u2019s not here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe said she was restless, paid for her to go to Paris.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat!\u201d Cordelia shrieked and then she just blew out some air. \u201cWell, Frank, I\u2019m in town for a few days, so if you could just let me in I can settle myself into your guest room.\u201d<\/p>\n
Frank stared at her, Angel watched and he could see Cordelia shifting her weight from foot to foot. Then her stepfather burst out laughing and shut the door in her face.<\/p>\n
Angel hopped out of his car and made his way up to the porch, listening to Cordelia curse out mother\u2019s husband with hopes that all his hair fell out and with the fact she knew a witch who would curse him with boils if she asked. She jumped when she saw him and let out a small squeal of shock.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t sneak up on me like that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry, just thought I\u2019d carry this back for you. You seemed busy with the boil-cursing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhatever. I knew I hated that man. He\u2019s beneath my mother, he just makes a lot of money so she\u2026 and she took off to Paris without telling me? And worse not asking me to with her!\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel tossed her suitcase into the car. \u201cGetting back in?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere am I going to go? I don\u2019t have enough money for the sleazy motel Faith used to live in.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel stared at her. \u201cNo?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d Cordelia sighed. \u201cI told you I didn\u2019t plan this trip home very well. I didn\u2019t plan it at all. In fact I had decided there was no way I was\u2026\u201d she trailed off, looked down at the ground before suddenly opening the door and getting into the car. \u201cThis sucks.\u201d<\/p>\n
Slipping behind the wheel of his car Angel looked straight ahead, he had an idea in his head but was it really the right idea? He wasn\u2019t sure but it seemed to be the only thing he could do and he wasn\u2019t about to leave Cordelia alone. But there was one other place he could take her and they would let her in. He wouldn\u2019t even have to wait to be sure of that. \u201cI could take you to\u2026Rivello.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia gasped and her mouth hung open as she stared at him and he heard her heart beat speed up and could smell the tang of aroused fear.<\/p>\n
\u201cOr you can stay with me.\u201d<\/p>\n
And as quickly as he\u2019d scared her she calmed down and nodded. \u201cChoice number two. That one.\u201d<\/p>\n
He nodded and turned the key in the ignition. He didn\u2019t blame her, the last people he wanted to see were the people sleeping in Buffy\u2019s house right now. He had no plans to see them at all but he wondered about Cordelia. He didn\u2019t think she\u2019d really come all this way because of Buffy and not see them. She probably just wasn\u2019t ready to see them but he had to admit it puzzled him.<\/p>\n
She\u2019d dated Xander and she\u2019d spent more time with them all than he ever had. He\u2019d only been connected to Buffy. He shook his head mentally and focused on the drive to where he planned to the spend the daytime hours before he finally found the strength to go to the cemetery.<\/p>\n
Part 3<\/b><\/p>\n
The awareness that he didn\u2019t breathe flooded Angel the moment he stepped into the mansion. All the reasons he\u2019d left Sunnydale were in the dust-filled air bringing up the days he\u2019d lived in these rooms. The urge to inhale in to steady the slam of emotions was instinct, a tangible thing within that hadn\u2019t died when he\u2019d been turned. It was like the memories of his human life, and right now memories were thick in the air around him arousing pain and guilt. He was trapped unable to move, or do anything but remember.<\/p>\n
In this mansion he\u2019d been evil.<\/p>\n
He\u2019d lived here and shown no mercy to the human life living around him. He\u2019d felt glee in the violent deaths of men and women whose names he hadn\u2019t known. By chance, luck, or reason he\u2019d been restored his soul, sent to hell and then returned. And found his world dominated once again by Buffy, the protectiveness he felt along with admiration of her strength. He\u2019d fallen even more in love with her and never thought to question why he\u2019d been returned to the world until The First.<\/p>\n
The First Evil had used both his guilt and the incessant craving for blood to try woo him back into being Angelus. It\u2019d been harrowing, the vivid dreams of his past, the memories, seeing The First manifested as Jenny Calendar near Giles, other people of his past he\u2019d emotionally tormented and murdered. He\u2019d been weakened by the guilt, let it eat at him and had almost fallen for the trapped and then resolved to give up. He\u2019d almost killed himself, tried to take himself out of a world his guilt told him he didn\u2019t belong.<\/p>\n
And again because of chance, luck, or reason he\u2019d been saved. And he had learned things about what it really took to be a hero. The inner strength and determination that it took to do what had to be done not only because it had to be done but because it was right. Once again Buffy had been his salvation. She\u2019d opened his eyes to what he could do with his second chance at existence and that maybe he could make some difference, maybe make up for the evil he\u2019d done.<\/p>\n
He\u2019d been brought back from Hell, a place he rightly belonged and it had become clear that it hadn\u2019t been to love Buffy. His reasons for being at Sunnydale never had been about a love affair. Loving Buffy had been a gift but it hadn\u2019t been the purpose for their meeting, or maybe even their connection. And days passed and he saw more and more that he was hurting Buffy by being in her life but not a part of if. He was hurting too, seeing it, feeling selfish and weak for wanting her and he knew he had to leave. He\u2019d had to leave to find out why he he\u2019d been returned to the world, to find out if he could do something to atone and he\u2019d had to leave to allow Buffy to go out into the world and find out who she was apart from the dark world of vampires and slayers.<\/p>\n
And In the years since he\u2019d gained friends, lost one and nearly lost the rest. He\u2019d faced his past in more ways than he\u2019d thought possible. Recently he\u2019d fallen into his own darkness and invited the evil inside of him to take over, feeling bitter and unable to care enough to maintain control. But instead he\u2019d found a deeper capacity inside of himself and more knowledge of who he really was and why he was fighting evil in L.A. and with his newfound clarity he\u2019d felt stronger.<\/p>\n
But back in the mansion, where he\u2019d made the decision to leave, the reason he was became heavier and pushed against his chest. Irrational thoughts raced through his head; what if scenarios about not leaving, or staying in touch with her more often. It all mixed with the denials he hadn\u2019t allowed himself to acknowledge but had been flitting through his mind since Wesley had told him the news.<\/p>\n
He had been hoping when he got here and stepped into a part of his Sunnydale world he\u2019d see her again. See Buffy standing in front of him smiling, laughing and embracing him. Again he felt an odd sensation in his chest as he took an unneeded jagged breath. It wasn\u2019t harder to breathe, he didn\u2019t breathe, it was that he thought what he hadn\u2019t let himself think in days. What he was feeling was grief and for the first time since Wesley had told him the news he allowed himself to think the words.<\/p>\n
Buffy was dead and he\u2019d come here to say goodbye.<\/p>\n
\u201cHello!\u201d Cordelia\u2019s voice startled Angel and he blinked, realizing that the woman he\u2019d picked up on the side of the road was standing next to him staring at him with a look he couldn\u2019t read.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia,\u201d he said, feeling for the first time since he\u2019d found her that he didn\u2019t want her around. Maybe she\u2019d be more intrusive than he\u2019d thought, what did he really know about her.<\/p>\n
\u201cNot only is this place covered in dust but there are spider webs everywhere, you know in between the cobwebs and dust bunnies. I mean I appreciate the offer but I think I rather sleep in your car than on that bed of dusty-ickiness.\u201d<\/p>\n
Or she\u2019d keep it superficial, he thought. \u201cI have stuff in the car, in the trunk, some linens to cover up the dust and crap. I didn\u2019t want to sleep on it either,\u201d he admitted to her. His mind falling on the bed, on him and Buffy falling asleep on it once and the next day her mother coming over to remind him how young Buffy really was, how much life she had left.<\/p>\n
\u201cKeys.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHuh?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFor your trunk, dumbass. If you are going to brood I\u2019m getting the damn sheets and stuff. I\u2019m tired.\u201d<\/p>\n
He met her eyes and she held the gaze and raised her hand palm forward for him to put the keys into and something about it all comforted him, and the doubt he\u2019d had when she\u2019d intruded on his thoughts earlier vanished. He fished into his pocket and handed her the keys. She flashed him a smile and then walked away and even before she\u2019d left the room he\u2019d stopped hearing her heels on the hard floors. His mind back on Buffy, thinking about what had been and why he was here.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
It was weird, Cordelia thought, slipping the key into the trunk of Angel\u2019s convertible. Not once had either of them mentioned why they were in Sunnydale. Cordelia knew he was here to grieve, to mourn, to do whatever he needed to do to accept, or maybe even not accept Buffy\u2019s death. And she was here to\u2026Cordelia sighed and lifted up the trunk. Her eyes sparkling with happiness at what she saw. A rolled up futon cushion that looked as though when freed from the confines of the twine would be as wide as the bed-bug ridden bed inside the abandoned mansion. Plus sheets and three pillows.<\/p>\n
\u201cThree pillows,\u201d she whispered to no one and giggled. Who knew Angel was a pillow vamp, she thought her nose wrinkling as she tried to figure out how she was going to carry everything. She couldn\u2019t ask him to, he\u2019d already started his grieving; she\u2019d seen everything hit him the moment they stepped into what had been his home. She wouldn\u2019t invade that, not when he was being so nice to her, at a time she was sure he\u2019d wanted to be completely alone. She wanted to be alone herself and whatever it was she was feeling about Buffy\u2019s death, wasn\u2019t close to the pain that Angel was feeling.<\/p>\n
\u201cAt least he managed to plan ahead for his sleeping quarters,\u201d Cordelia said to herself, berating herself for not thinking that far ahead. She\u2019d been so busy not planning to be here at all she\u2019d never really thought that her mother might be out of town. And even her mother had been in town the door could have still been slammed in her face. Only instead of her stepfather laughing, her mother would have been saying an insincere apology. Cordelia shivered, she was getting cold.<\/p>\n
Pushing away all thoughts she grabbed the bedding materials, putting them momentarily in the back seat of the car, before closing the trunk and locking it up again. She put the keys in her pocket, wondering briefly if Angel would let her borrow the car tomorrow and then figured out how to load her arms up. Quickly she made her way back up from the road to the mansion, dumped everything on the bed, scrunching up her face in disgust at the dust. It was then she noticed Angel had lit a few candles and had seated himself near the fireplace. He had a lighter and she saw the logs but he had yet to light it. He was just staring into it and she bit her tongue, hard, to stop herself from saying something but it worked against her. \u201cOw,\u201d she snapped, rolling her eyes at herself.<\/p>\n
Angel looked over his shoulder at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was going to ask you something stupid, about the non-existent fire you are staring at\u2026and well, I tried not to and all it got me was pain. You know, since to shut myself up I have to draw blood\u2026\u201d she trailed off, realizing she\u2019d just said \u2018draw blood\u2019 to a vampire and then she throw up her hand in a gesture that said to ignore her. And Angel did turning back to the fireplace.<\/p>\n
Cordelia sighed and looked around the room, trying to look for anything that made it seem less icky to focus on. The candles were nice, the sun rising outside was lovely too, she thought and then she tensed. She glanced at Angel and then the outside, the dark night turning to gray. The pinks and purples shining in the east. Taking her focus off the outside, she saw the curtains, thick curtains that had been closed at all times while Angel lived her and she wondered who\u2019d opened them for about two seconds, before her mind went to what she had to do.<\/p>\n
He couldn\u2019t even decide if he wanted to start a fire, and she mentally rolled her eyes at him and walked to the door they\u2019d used to get in. It had curtains too, since the door had long been kicked in or rotted away, she didn\u2019t know or didn\u2019t care. She grabbed for the fabric and cringed as her hand went through a cobweb.<\/p>\n
\u201cEww,\u201d she whispered under her breath closing them. And it became a mantra as she went from window to window closing out the coming light until she was sure she\u2019d gotten them all. It taken her around the room and she ended up on the other side of Angel who was still staring into the unlit fireplace and she watched him for a moment but knew there was nothing she could do. And even if she thought there was she wasn\u2019t so sure she would do it. He knew why he was here, he was feeling everything probably and she almost envied the fact that his mind was clear about it. Grief. Pure and simple. She still didn\u2019t even really know what had driven her to come. She started toward the bed, intent on making it decent enough to sleep in.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs it necessary?\u201d Angel suddenly asked her, just as she started to pass him.<\/p>\n
\u201cHuh?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cA fire? Are you cold? Or would it make you too warm?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia stared at him and realized she didn\u2019t know. She didn\u2019t feel warm, she didn\u2019t feel cold. She felt\u2026confused. \u201cI don\u2019t think it\u2019ll bother me either way, Angel.\u201d<\/p>\n
He nodded, leaned forward and started to start a fire. Cordelia watched for a moment and then walked to the bed. \u201cFeel free to get on the bed with me, I mean it\u2019s huge for one thing and \u201cB\u201d no one should sleep on the layer of dust and dirt on the floor.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you,\u201d Angel said as the fire roared into life and he moved back and finally staring into flames.<\/p>\n
Cordelia stared at him, something in his voice made it clear he hadn\u2019t meant about the bed. After all it was his bed, she was just assuming he was going to be a gentleman and let her have it. She was Cordelia Chase after all. \u201cFor\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe curtains.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh.\u201d Cordelia bit her lip and suddenly she felt too vulnerable. Everything about this situation was too intimate, she could see right into his raw grief. \u201cI didn\u2019t do that for you, I can\u2019t sleep with the sun staring at me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel turned away from the fire and looked at her. She held his gaze, forced her facial muscles to remain unfazed. She had to look like she meant it and who was she fooling. She did mean it. She hated sleeping in the daytime, or with lights, the candles were okay. They were so few and closer to him anyway. She didn\u2019t want the sun on her; it hadn\u2019t been about her. She focused on the thought and it became real. Then she smiled. \u201cI\u2019m going to bed now, Angel.\u201d<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Cordelia woke up cold and disoriented. She pushed at the soft blanket that seemed to be plastered to her, feeling sticky and gross, and sat up looking around her disoriented. Then she remembered, shivered and made a face. Moving out of the bed, or rather off the futon on the bed, she grabbed her suitcase from the floor and flung it onto the bed. Looking through it, she chastised herself for the millionth time since she\u2019d packed it, she hadn\u2019t packed a sweater, or her robe. Nothing to warm herself up with. She hugged herself and stared at the thin shirts, and pants in the suitcase feeling more confused and as empty as always.<\/p>\n
\u201cTake my jacket.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel\u2019s voice startled her and she turned to see he was still where she\u2019d last seen him. At the fireplace, the fire had died out and the sun had risen, it was probably close to setting by now she thought. She looked at her wrist and found she\u2019d slept from a 5 am-ish sunrise to 1 in the afternoon. She sighed and rolled her shoulders, what the hell was she doing here. A rustle in front of her made her start and she stepped back realizing that Angel had moved. He was standing right in front of her holding out his leather jacket. A jacket he hadn\u2019t taken off until now she realized and offering it to her.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo thanks,\u201d Cordelia said, making a decision. She wasn\u2019t going to waste anymore time. It wasn\u2019t really what she wanted to do, but something was making her do this so she might as well start. Plus she had a feeling she wasn\u2019t going to get a shower, or get to pee in this place. \u201cI need your car.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMy\u2026car?\u201d Angel asked looking and sounding apprehensive.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo we have a working toilet?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, I don\u2019t like to urinate in the woods or in front of vampires. Also I feel gross. I need a shower. And I know where I can get one and I\u2019m going there. Now.\u201d<\/p>\n
He stared at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know, I didn\u2019t even have to ask, Angel. I have your keys.\u201d<\/p>\n
He continued to stare.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, taking the silence as a yes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere are planning to urinate and shower?\u201d He suddenly asked, his mouth turning up into a small almost smile at the end of the sentence. Cordelia supposed at the oddness of the question.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe house,\u201d Cordelia said, simply, running her hand over her slept-in and severely wrinkled clothes from last night and frowning.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia looked up from her clothes and met his eyes. She felt jolted by how dark they were, nearly black brown full of things she had no right to be looking into, the instant she thought it Angel closed the door she\u2019d peeked into. His expression shifted first to unreadable and then it was anxious. \u201cCould you not\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMention you? Please. I don\u2019t even want to mention me.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked at her, apparently baffled by her last statement but then he just shrugged. \u201cThanks.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhatever. I need to at least brush my teeth before I leave. And it will be in your car by the way, not that you have bothered to say: Yes Cordelia, go ahead and drive it. Not like I can use a convertible in the daytime anyway.\u201d She pulled out her toothbrush and toothpaste from a small bag in her suitcase and quickly started to brush her teeth.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes Cordelia, go ahead and drive my car,\u201d Angel suddenly said. \u201cBut be careful, don\u2019t grind the gears \u2013 you can drive a stick right?\u201d<\/p>\n
Her mouth full of toothpaste she stared at him; rolled her eyes and nodded. Then she started to look around for a good place to spit, wondering what on earth she was thinking. Spitting in front of a man, well vampire, but still not very classy and totally embarrassing.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re sure. It sticks a bit going into third.\u201d<\/p>\n
She looked over her shoulder at him, motioned at him to step back and waited for him to follow the direction. When he did, she opened the curtained the door, stepped into the afternoon, let it close behind her and spit out the toothpaste. Wishing she\u2019d thought to walk out there in the first place. Plastering on a smile she walked back into the mansion. \u201cAngel?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah,\u201d he said walking over to the bed and sitting down.<\/p>\n
\u201cYour car is in safe hands with me,\u201d she smiled even wider.<\/p>\n
He nodded, his expression growing unreadable again. \u201cShouldn\u2019t be worrying about it anyway\u2026\u201d he muttered before his eyes grew vacant. Cordelia realized he\u2019d fallen back into Buffy-Mourning mode.<\/p>\n
It was why he was here. She was here because, she still didn\u2019t know why but she wasn\u2019t going to waste anymore time. Grabbing a change of clothes out of her suitcase and the bag with her soap, shampoo and other essentials she left. Outside she looked up at the sunshine and thought for a moment that it looked like any other day but it really wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n
Not for her. She was way out of her normal schedule, her normal actions, her normal thoughts. She\u2019d be on lunch break right now back in Los Angeles. She\u2019d be sipping a class of water with lemon and eating a salad. Instead she was gross, in need of a shower and had just had a conversation with a vampire in mourning about his car.<\/p>\n
She shook herself mentally and then headed for the car, slipped into the drivers seat, fixed the seat so she could reach the peddles and slid the key into the ignition. Fear gripped her and in turn she gripped the steering wheel. She didn\u2019t want to see them. She didn\u2019t want to see their pain anymore than she\u2019d felt okay seeing Angel\u2019s. She didn\u2019t want to do this but the feeling she needed too that she had too kept burning in the pit of her stomach and the back of her mind.<\/p>\n
She had to do this, didn\u2019t matter that she didn\u2019t want to. \u201cDamn you Buffy Summers,\u201d she said, as she turned over the engine.<\/p>\n