{"id":8836,"date":"2015-12-13T22:25:01","date_gmt":"2015-12-13T22:25:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/?p=8836"},"modified":"2015-12-14T02:35:57","modified_gmt":"2015-12-14T02:35:57","slug":"there-is-no-end-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/2015\/12\/13\/there-is-no-end-1\/","title":{"rendered":"There is No End 1"},"content":{"rendered":"

Title: There is No End<\/b>
\nAuthor: <\/b>WritingPathways<\/strong>
\nPosted here: <\/b>05\/2004
\nEmail<\/b><\/a>
\nRating: <\/b>
\nCategory: <\/b>AU
\nContent: <\/b>C\/A
\nSummary: <\/b>
\nSpoilers: <\/b>
\nDisclaimer: <\/b>The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
\nDistribution: <\/b>Please ask
\nNotes: <\/b>Hi. This is my first Angel\/Cordelia story ever and it’s an AU. Some things will be very different but other things won’t be. Also it’s starts as an Angel\/Buffy crossover. Everything on Buffy happens as is up to the end of Season Five and Buffy will stay dead. As for the Angel verse. Cordelia and Angel never met up in L.A. so her life is completely different and Angel’s life is close to the same but he has no seer because when Doyle dies Cordy wasn’t there. Only other huge change I feel I should mention is Faith is in Sunnydale, she went back with Buffy instead of going to jail after Angel helps her.
\nThanks\/Dedication:<\/b>
\nFeedback:<\/b><\/p>\n

\n

Part 1<\/b><\/p>\n

Cordelia woke up wired, from an unknown energy, in the arms of her boyfriend, Alec. They were tangled together their bodies entwined from the sex that come before sleep, and it made Cordelia hot. Uncomfortably hot and she felt suffocated from the weight of his body. She moved without any care that she may wake him up, she didn\u2019t care if he did or didn\u2019t, not that it mattered. A banshee could scream directly in his ear and he\u2019d stay asleep. Out of the bed, Cordelia quickly got dressed, grabbed her purse and left the apartment, not once pausing or looking back at the sleeping form of Alec.<\/p>\n

She frowned as she stepped out of the apartment, it wasn\u2019t cool enough outside to cool her off. But there was no use wishing that California weather be colder for her and out of habit she checked the time. Her watched said 3 a.m.. She cursed under her breath at herself and wondered for the briefest of moments why she hadn\u2019t just stayed in Alec\u2019s bed. Then she remembered she woken up wide-awake, wired by something inside of her and way too hot. It had happened before and the only cure she knew was to sleep in her own bed.<\/p>\n

It would only be a few hours, before she had to wake up and go to her job, but it would be time in her own home, in her own space. Where the restless heat wouldn\u2019t fade and she\u2019d feel like herself again. Cordelia\u2019s nose wrinkled, one second of doubt flickered through her mind but she pushed it away. It would work; it always did didn\u2019t it? She focused on the walk to the parking garage, and held her purse close but ready to open. Her senses aware of anything out of the ordinary just in case she ran into someone, or something, dangerous.<\/p>\n

She didn\u2019t breath easily until she was home. Her apartment wasn\u2019t as large as Alec\u2019s and it wasn\u2019t in an upscale neighborhood but it was her place. Within seconds she stripped down and curled onto her bed loving the coolness of the sheets. No thoughts, she told herself burrowing her head into her pillow, no thoughts, just sleep.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

The morning was bright and Cordelia woke up, slowly and with a purposeful smile on her face. A brand new day, she said to herself out of habit as she showered, dressed and then gathered the clothes and jewelry she\u2019d left on the floor to put away. It was when she walked into her kitchen to grab her morning coffee that Cordelia noticed the blinking on her answering machine. She grinned with instant giddy-anticipation and with well-trained optimism she thought, \u2018it\u2019s a job, or an audition, either way it\u2019s good news\u2019 and pushed play. As the tape rewound she started to sugar her coffee and forced herself not to hope too hard that it was about the part in a sitcom she\u2019d had a second audition for.<\/p>\n

Cordelia\u2026 you aren\u2019t home are you?<\/i><\/p>\n

Willow? Willow Rosenberg from Sunnydale. The high school\u2019s bookworm who had no taste in clothes and had turned out to be a witch. The girl Cordelia would always in the back of her mind think of as the other woman? Willow? Willow who was both her enemy and her friend. On her answering machine? Cordelia felt panic start to roll through her, Willow would never call her unless\u2026<\/p>\n

You aren\u2019t picking up\u2026I guess you aren\u2019t home\u2026 I just thought\u2026I can\u2019t say it\u2026she\u2019s\u2026I thought you should know\u2026I thought you should know that she\u2026<\/i><\/p>\n

Willow\u2019s voice broke and turned into a loud squawk that made Cordelia jump. The sudden sob startling her. She\u2019d been listening intensely hoping for news that would make Willow\u2019s drama seem ridiculous. But the sob cut through her pretense and Cordelia glared at her answering machine daring Willow\u2019s recorded voice to continue. Because she had to know, she had to hear it…but she didn\u2019t want to believe it.<\/p>\n

It happened doing what she did\u2026Buffy\u2026Buffy\u2019s gone Cordelia. Call her house if you want to\u2026we\u2019re staying there with Dawn. <\/i><\/p>\n

And then came the click of Willow hanging up and the sound resounded in Cordelia\u2019s ears. The message had finished. And it had told her that Buffy Summers was dead.<\/p>\n

Buffy. The girl who saved the world. The girl who was neither friend nor enemy; and yet in some way had been both. Someone who\u2019d saved her life. Someone who she\u2019d fought with and fought against. Buffy who was annoying, bitchy and a hero. The Slayer. The Slayer had died. Doing what she did? Cordelia felt dizzy and realized she wasn’t breathing and let out a breath and a sob came with it. Shock filled her at the sound and the tears that joined it, stinging her eyes and burning her cheeks. She shook herself; she shook her head. No.<\/p>\n

There had been no mention of death. No mention of dying. Willow hadn\u2019t made it clear; Cordelia told herself as she picked up her phone and dialed a number she\u2019d thought long forgotten.<\/p>\n

\u201cSummer\u2019s Residence.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cordelia felt more panicked at the sound of the voice. She knew who it belonged too but couldn\u2019t place it and she needed to talk to someone she knew. Willow, Giles, hell even Xander. \u201cWho is this?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho is this?\u201d The woman on the other end shot back.<\/p>\n

\u201cCordelia.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh. It\u2019s Faith,\u201d her voice softened from uncertainty. \u201cDo you want Willow or Giles?\u201d<\/p>\n

Fear and confusion gripped Cordelia; why Faith was answering the phone? But she shook herself, it didn\u2019t matter, they didn\u2019t matter, none of them. Well this call mattered because she wanted to find out she had misunderstood Willow. She\u2019d find out for sure and then she could forget about them all, again. \u201cWillow. Get me Willow,\u201d she ordered.<\/p>\n

There was no answer but Cordelia heard the phone being put down and soon after Willow\u2019s voice was in her ear. \u201cCordelia?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did that message mean?\u201d Cordelia snapped wishing she had felt relief at the sound of Willow\u2019s voice. But it sounded so far away, so pained that she started to fear that she hadn\u2019t misunderstood anything.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s\u2026\u201d Willow broke off. \u201cI can\u2019t\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

And she hadn\u2019t misunderstood, or assumed anything. It was true. Buffy was dead. It was true. \u201cIt\u2019s true,\u201d she whispered into the phone. \u201cOh, God.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe didn\u2019t want\u2026 much. We are,\u201d Willow\u2019s voice broke and she took a moment to compose herself. \u201c We\u2019re burying her tomorrow morning\u2026Hope Field Cemetery. Near her mother. She didn\u2019t want anything but if you want to come down\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think\u2026but, I\u2019m so sorry Willow\u2026\u201d Cordelia winced at her words, that didn\u2019t seem the thing to say at all. But what was the thing to say? What was she supposed to do? Go there? To Sunnydale. No, no way. \u201cI can\u2019t come, I mean I have\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI understand. I just thought\u2026\u201d Willow trailed off.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you. For telling me. For letting me know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou knew who she was,\u201d Willow said.<\/p>\n

\u201cBye,\u201d Cordelia said, hanging up quickly.<\/p>\n

Buffy was dead. It was the death of a hero but she\u2019d deal with it. Her life would go on. This didn\u2019t change her life. It was just bad news about someone from her past. Buffy\u2019s death, though sad, didn\u2019t mean that Cordelia had to react to it by driving to Sunnydale. Cordelia\u2019s life had no room in it for her to drive to Sunnydale. It hadn\u2019t been her life that had ended.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Cordelia flashed a smile as she hurried into the office of Whitney-Roberts Interior Design Firm where she worked as a glorified office assistant, at least that was Cordelia\u2019s term for her job. The other glorified office assistant looked up from her desk and immediately asked. \u201cWhy are you so late?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSomeone died,\u201d Cordelia explained without thought and she sat down, booted up her computer and started to sort through the pile of things that were already on her desk. \u201cShe very mad?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe seemed too distracted to be\u2026wait! What? Someone died? Cor, are you all right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAs always,\u201d Cordelia looked up and grinned. \u201cLisa, really it was just a death of an old friend \u2013 we weren\u2019t all that close \u2013 and I\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFrom that small town you are from? Sundell?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSunnydale, and yeah, someone from there,\u201d Cordelia said and she started to arrange the things on her desk in order of priority for the day, praying there would be enough to do to keep her busy until six.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d Cordelia looked up and stared at Lisa. \u201cWe should work, aren\u2019t I in enough trouble?\u201d<\/p>\n

Cordelia could feel Lisa\u2019s eyes on her, full of sincere concern, and not at all like the people Cordelia actually called her friends. She never called Lisa a friend but she probably was her only real friend in Los Angeles. And was the only person Cordelia knew she could count on if needed \u2013 except to let her drop the subject of friend\u2019s death. Cordelia cursed the short circuit she seemed to have in her brain that made her say things out loud without thinking and waited for the inevitable. She\u2019d get the conversation done with and then she could forget all about Sunnydale, and everything that came with it.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho died?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHer name is, oops, was Buffy. Buffy Summers.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBuffy?\u201d Lisa asked, \u201cDid her mother hate her?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHer mother loved her actually. Mrs. Summers was really nice,\u201d Cordelia said, and she wanted to throttle herself. Reminiscing was not on her list of things to do, nothing regarding Sunnydale was on her list of things to do.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you weren\u2019t close?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot really.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut you were friends?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes. We were,\u2019 Cordelia said and her stomach knotted up and she closed her eyes not wanting Lisa to see her face the truth. Buffy was her friend. In ways that mattered more than all the ways they didn\u2019t get along. Maybe they didn\u2019t talk and maybe they\u2019d never laughed for hours over nothing. But they\u2019d faced things together, and they knew things about each other, and it was those things that made them friends. Odd friends, not close friends but friends nonetheless. \u201cBut not close. Haven\u2019t talked to her since graduation.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it\u2019s good someone called you. Someone I was never very close with in school died and I didn\u2019t find out until years later when I asked a mutual friend how she was doing. It was her best friend too, made her cry it was embarrassing and not at all fun.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI had to be told,\u201d Cordelia heard herself say and then started busying herself by looking over a fabric order, once again trying to escape Lisa\u2019s gaze and the conversation. She didn\u2019t even know what that had meant, she just knew it was the truth. Willow had called her because everyone who had known Buffy had to know about her passing because, Cordelia furrowed her brow. It was there in her mind why Willow had even thought to tell her about Buffy\u2019s death.<\/p>\n

If she just thought on it long enough\u2026Cordelia shook her head and took control of her thoughts again. She didn\u2019t want to know, Sunnydale and all its baggage were out of her life. Buffy\u2019s death was news and news didn\u2019t change her life. It was simply news, bad news but news nonetheless and nothing more.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood thing they thought to tell you then\u2026sometimes the people in the midst forget about people they don\u2019t see.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not that. They were thinking of her not me. I mean I\u2019m probably one of the few that were called\u2026\u201d Cordelia groaned, wishing she didn\u2019t like Lisa so much because then she wouldn\u2019t be babbling on about something she wanted to put behind her as soon as possible. \u201cIt\u2019s that Buffy, annoying as she was, was special.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSpecial?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan we not talk about it?\u201d Cordelia begged, feeling desperate to stop the conversation. She couldn\u2019t talk about Buffy\u2019s death without wondering if her car could handle the trip to Sunnydale or if she should borrow Alec\u2019s Mercedes. She was not going to Sunnydale. She wasn\u2019t going to go\u2026 do what? Watch them put a hero into the ground? She shuddered at the thought and there was not going to be a wake or anything, Willow had said they weren\u2019t doing anything but a funeral. And she wasn\u2019t going to go there and look at everyone\u2019s red eyes or just stare at a tomb. It was depressing, and plus it had nothing whatsoever to do with her.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course,\u201d Lisa smiled and turned back to her own work and Cordelia thanked God and started to focus on the work she had to do. She had a life to lead, work to do, auditions to ready herself, an acting class, people to charm and a boyfriend to keep. The last thing she needed was to make a depressing trip to a woman\u2019s grave. It didn\u2019t matter that she\u2019d admired Buffy as much as she wanted to bitch-slap her, going back to Sunnydale wasn\u2019t an option.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

\u201cYou want to borrow my car?\u201d<\/p>\n

Cordelia nodded, afraid to speak, afraid that if she said anything out loud she\u2019d remember her promises to herself and that a certain blonde\u2019s death didn\u2019t mean she owed her anything. And she didn\u2019t, Cordelia thought now, she\u2019d always thanked Buffy for saving her life, or whoever else had done it and she\u2019d helped save the world more than once, yet there she was standing in her boyfriend\u2019s bedroom, fiddling with the strap of her purse persuading him to loan her his car. \u201cYes,\u201d she gave her widest and most charming smile. \u201cThe Mercedes is such a smoother ride and it\u2019s in better condition than my silly car.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you\u2019d just let me buy you a\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCould we not have that argument now?\u201d Cordelia forced herself to continuing with the persuasive smile and stepped forward, dropping her purse on the bed and grabbing Alec\u2019s hands. \u201cPlease? I really have to take this trip.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy? I mean where are you going?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s just for a few days,\u201d Cordelia said, her mind racing for a story, she couldn\u2019t tell him the truth. He\u2019d start asking questions because whenever he had heard her talk about Sunnydale it\u2019d been to swear it off like it was hell itself. Not that that was far from the truth, she thought.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know\u2026maybe I should take some time off and go with you,\u201d Alec wondered out loud. \u201cYou did say you were going alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cordelia wanted to scream, the last thing she needed was Alec tagging along and all the questions it would raise but not only that she didn\u2019t even want to see Willow, Xander, Giles or the town itself. She wasn\u2019t even sure why she\u2019d decided to do this. She\u2019d spent a day telling herself she wasn\u2019t going to drive down there.<\/p>\n

The funeral had been taking place as she got ready for work and went in and pretended that the design ideas her boss took credit for hadn\u2019t been her own. But here she was, searching for things to tell Alec, so she could take his Mercedes and start toward Sunnydale. The last place she wanted to be but was going to drive too anyway. No matter what. Mercedes or not.<\/p>\n

\u201cCor?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t come. I\u2019m meeting some girlfriends. Some girls who graduated from the acting class I take. They are doing this play at some small college. It\u2019s a girly gathering of solidarity. You\u2019d be bored and you know how my car makes all those noises which your car doesn\u2019t\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay. Okay. You can take the car.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cordelia squealed, the sound of absolute glee shocking her but not more than that she was happy to finally be able to leave. She\u2019d already packed; she\u2019d already loaded the car before coming up and asking. She hugged him and took the keys that he\u2019d pulled out of his pocket and handed to her. \u201cThank you, thank you!\u201d She exclaimed and gave him a quick kiss.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhoa, wait, Cor, you are leaving now?\u201d<\/p>\n

Cordelia didn\u2019t even turn her head, \u201cSun\u2019s setting soon, I\u2019m already late I got to get moving. I\u2019ll call.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLove you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLove you too.\u201d<\/p>\n

For about an hour the odd feeling of giddy relief stayed with Cordelia, as she drove the car towards a place she had left without ever looking back. She didn\u2019t miss Sunnydale, and she\u2019d barely given Buffy, Willow, Xander or anyone else from her past a second thought. She and Aura had kept in touch at first but soon they\u2019d lost contact and neither had tried to reestablish it. She had gone to Los Angeles intent on not letting the fact she couldn\u2019t go to college get her down, intent to prove that she had never needed her trust fund or money to get by and that she could take care of herself.<\/p>\n

Sure her job sucked mostly because they used her ideas without giving her credit or bonuses, and maybe she wasn\u2019t a star yet but she loved her acting classes and she was getting more and more auditions. The people who needed to know who she was knew the name Cordelia Chase, or was starting to learn it, things were going well. Also there was Alec. Rich, young, good \u2013looking and he would buy her a elephant if she wanted him too. He wanted to take care of her and it was only a matter of time until he asked her to marry him, complete with a ring as big as her smile, she was sure of it.<\/p>\n

There was no reason to return to Sunnydale, even taking Buffy\u2019s death into consideration. No reason at all. Yet, there she was on the road at night, driving toward the very place she didn\u2019t want to be and didn\u2019t need to be. And she really didn\u2019t know why. It had something to with Buffy, or rather who Buffy had been, someone who saved the world.<\/p>\n

Cordelia had seen that right away, the importance, it was why she gave Buffy the time of day as person and not just as pretty competition \u2013 her only Sunnydale competition. It was why she\u2019d found herself wrapped up in the supernatural and usually world-ending crises that arouse, working with Xander, Giles, and Willow. It was why when Xander had broken her heart she hadn\u2019t ended up completely away from it all and had been able to help unite the school against the mayor.<\/p>\n

The only problem was she\u2019d never really understood why. Why it mattered to her that the world was being saved, that monsters were real\u2026she\u2019d seen her high school friends outside of the Scooby circle forget and rationalize. She\u2019d watched Aura and others do it after Graduation. To them all that had happened was that there had been a bad fire that singed the diplomas.<\/p>\n

It\u2019d been enough for them, they didn\u2019t want to know about Vampires, or Zombies, or Hellmouthy-weirdness. Cordelia after all she\u2019d seen the first year Buffy had been in Sunnydale hadn\u2019t been able to forget that Vampires existed, and that the Hellmouth was underneath.<\/p>\n

And even years later in Los Angeles she\u2019d kept her eyes open for the things no one else saw. It was because she knew too much not to, that was what she\u2019d told herself and it\u2019d proven to be smart. Cordelia hit the accelerator harder as she remembered that because she carried a cross, stake and holy water in her purse she\u2019d been able to save her friends\u2019 lives.<\/p>\n

Two different friends; two different memories but both similar experiences. And both women had forgotten what they\u2019d seen and rationalized the situation. Cordelia had been thanked for scaring off muggers. The reality had been she\u2019d scared off one vampire with the cross and mentioning Buffy. The other time she\u2019d somehow gotten lucky enough to stake the vampire before he bit her instead of her friend. Luck had been with her both times; she knew it because it\u2019d been lucky both of the vampires had been alone.<\/p>\n

Yet she\u2019d been able to make those two occasions faded memories of her first year in Los Angeles. She created a monster-free, Sunnydale free existence for herself and she\u2019d vowed to never look back. To never go back because Sunnydale had held nothing for her. Now she wasn\u2019t only going to Sunnydale, she was remembering vividly the faded memories of two vampires that had painfully reminded of one of the reasons she\u2019d left.<\/p>\n

Cordelia frowned, \u201cStop thinking about stuff you don\u2019t want to think about. Just do whatever craziness Buffy\u2019s death has put in your head and get back to your regularly scheduled life,\u201d she muttered to herself. Then the car lurched out of her control and she realized one of the tires had gone flat. \u201cPerfect. Buffy, why did I let your death do this to me!\u201d<\/p>\n

Cordelia groaned as she turned off the car, she was on the side of an empty barely traveled highway toward Sunnydale in the early and dark hours of morning. \u201cThis is just perfect. You never did anything but make my life suck!\u201d she yelled to the sky where she pictured Buffy looking down at her laughing her blonde butt off.<\/p>\n

Getting out of the car Cordelia found the tire that had blown and she growled, \u201cI knew, I knew I should have learned how to change a tire. On the list of things to learn but did I get to it?\u201d She pulled out her cell phone and groaned realizing it had no signal. \u201cWell, of course,\u201d she muttered.<\/p>\n

Then she heard a car and her heart stopped for a second and then sped up, she felt her stomach knot. Did she hope it stopped or that it passed her by? Did she go show some leg, she was wearing a skirt? Or did she grab her spray can of mace and the spray-bottle of holy water? The headlights grew closer and Cordelia dug into her purse and started looking for the mace and the holy water. This close to Sunnydale a vampire was probably more likely than a rapist or a serial killer but she believed in covering her bets. Searching she glanced up, hoping the car would pass her but instead it pulled over and parked behind her car. She prayed it was a Good Samaritan but kept searching through her bag and finally wrapped her hands around her mace. It was better than nothing she thought.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo need\u2026help?\u201d a man asked her from the other side of the car.<\/p>\n

Cordelia took a breath, readied the mace in her hand and looked up over the car and felt her eyes pop out of her head. \u201cAngel?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCordelia?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you evil?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sure?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCordelia.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cordelia breathed out in relief. \u201cThank God! Because I so need help.\u201d<\/p>\n

Part 2<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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