Part Five<\/b><\/p>\n
Cordelia eyed the clinking keys. How in the hell was she going to get out of this one? She looked at the smug, satisfied look on the jerk\u2019s face, feeling her stomach roll in protest at the lustful leer he was now giving her body. He had her. And he knew it. Panic set in. He might have her, might even do some damage, but she was definitely going to try her best to make him hurt like hell before he got what he wanted.<\/p>\n
Suddenly, a word came to her mind. Crystal and clear.<\/p>\n
Stave.<\/p>\n
Her eyes darted around the room looking for anything to defend herself with, to hold him off until\u2026.for what she wasn\u2019t sure. No one knew where she was. She knew no one would come. She was sure the rapist in front of her had made sure of that. But something in her gut told her differently. Her mind sent her another message.<\/p>\n
Stave him off until he comes.<\/p>\n
James took a step forward as he secured the keys in his front pocket.<\/p>\n
She could use her heels, try to get a good kick in on the family jewels, her nails were at their peek, tailored but long, maybe a good scratch to the eye\u2026..Cordelia\u2019s eyes landed on her purse just behind him, an idea blooming. Quickly, she lunged for her bag as he tackled her to the floor. Just in reach, she slung open the bag and pulled out the small bottle, flipping in his arms and turning her own head as she sprayed.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat the fuck?\u201d he yelled as he wiped the cold spray from his face. Now he was getting angry.<\/p>\n
\u201cCrap,\u201d Cordelia muttered underneath him, realizing that she had changed purses, watching the bottle of Holy Water as it rolled free from her hand.<\/p>\n
James pinned her roughly with one hand as his other began to fumble at her clothing. \u201cI\u2019ve never had one fight this hard before,\u201c he breathed heavily. \u201cI think I kinda like it.\u201c His face was sweating now and she could feel the result of his excitement pressing hard on her thigh.<\/p>\n
\u201cStave hell,\u201d she mumbled in a rush of breath as she wriggled and brought her knee up hard.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Angel approached the address he had memorized from the slip of paper. The place looked deserted, but Cordelia\u2019s scent was strong. Strong and new over a faded one. She had been back. He eyed the building, then closed his eyes, concentrating all of his senses on the darkened interior. His nostrils flared, his eyes shooting open and blazing with fury. An inhuman growl escaped his lips as he bounded up the stoop and ripped open the unlocked front door. Her scent was strong now, mixed with that of a male. Sounds of a struggle echoed in his ears from a back room. With inhuman speed he raced to the door. Whoever had her would pay. He would rend and tear and torture\u2026\u2026..<\/p>\n
Angel froze in the doorway, what was left of the now splintered door lying before his feet. It took him a moment to take in the sight before him. An unmoving human lay sprawled on the floor, blood trickling from a crack over the head, Cordelia hovering above him in a warrior\u2019s stance and what looked to be some sort of camera tripod gripped in her hands. Her wild, fearful eyes shot to Angel\u2019s. \u201cDid I kill him? Oh, God. I think I killed him.\u201d<\/p>\n
Tamping down his anger and his need to kill, Angel approached her slowly, taking the equipment from the hard grip of her hands, letting the metal stand clang to the floor. She was shaking and panic at the thought that she might have actually killed someone was taking over her mind.<\/p>\n
\u201cShhh,\u201d he crooned as he wrapped her in a comforting embrace, stroking her head. \u201cIt\u2019s okay. It\u2019s over.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIs he dead?\u201d her voice quivered slightly.<\/p>\n
Not yet. \u201cNo,\u201d Angel answered, his ears picking up the strong heartbeat of the man on the floor. \u201cJust out cold.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCheck, just to make sure.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel turned her, keeping his arm securely around her and led her to the other side of the room, sitting her down in a chair against the wall, wanting her as far away from the soon to be dead man as he could get her. He left her, walked to James\u2019 side and knelt down beside the now stirring body, careful to keep his back to Cordelia. James\u2019 eyelids slowly blinked and then opened.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey,\u201d Angel greeted with a soft voice, his tone full of false concern. \u201cYou okay?\u201d he kept his voice low so Cordelia couldn\u2019t hear.<\/p>\n
The man below him nodded slightly, his faculties gradually coming back to him.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou gave her a good scare. You like that, don\u2019t you?\u201d Angel whispered. \u201cGives your little dick a great big hard-on.\u201d Angel smiled a lethal smile. \u201cWant to see something really scary?\u201d he pulled on James\u2019 shirt, inching him a little closer, hoping to Cordelia\u2019s eyes he looked only as if he were trying to help rouse the man. When he was sure James\u2019 eyes were completely focused on his face, Angel morphed into his vampiric visage. James jerked and a little moan escaped his lips. \u201cYou see, I can\u2019t kill you because she\u2019s here. But I wanted you to see what was coming for you, waiting for you. Hunting you. Are you looking? I want you to take a good long look asshole. I want you to know what death looks like,\u201d Angel\u2019s jaw clenched. \u201cBecause the next time I see you, you won\u2019t see me.\u201d Angel stared in the man\u2019s eyes for a moment, then glanced down to the puddle spreading on the floor beneath James\u2019 body. He looked back at the man and smiled before morphing back. \u201cGlad you got the message.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIs he okay?\u201d Cordelia\u2019s shaky voice came from across the room.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s fine,\u201d Angel dropped the man\u2019s head and rose, walking back to Cordelia.<\/p>\n
She stood to meet him. \u201cWe should call an ambulance or something. I mean, he\u2019s a loser and a creep, but he\u2019s human. It\u2019s not the same as when we kill demons or any\u2026\u2026. \u201c Cordelia\u2019s face looked puzzled, her brow frowning. Where had that come from?<\/p>\n
Angel swallowed hard at what appeared to be a memory. He wanted to egg her on, pry open the crack in the barrier that seemed to be in the way of her past. But when she didn\u2019t continue, seemed lost in the thought, he simply took her back into his arms. \u201cHe doesn\u2019t need an ambulance. He\u2019ll be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe the police then. I don\u2019t want him to try this with anyone else. I\u2019m sure I\u2019m not the first,\u201d she said the words against his chest.<\/p>\n
Angel didn\u2019t want police involved. They would know him then and when they found the man\u2019s body it could get messy for him and Cordelia. \u201cDon\u2019t worry. I gave him a little talk. And that crack over the head you served him will keep him tame for a long time.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia wasn\u2019t so sure, but with Angel\u2019s arms around her she could convince herself she supposed.<\/p>\n
\u201cCome on. Let\u2019s get you home,\u201d he guided her to the door, both of them giving one last glance to James who was beginning to sit up and gingerly touch his head.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
The Keeper could not seem to get used to the new feelings that were bombarding her spirit as of late. All of her existence she had only felt the love and peace of her home with the souls rewarded with a blissful afterlife. Now she felt a feeling she could only connect with worry as she made her way to the inner chamber. Worry for Cordelia.<\/p>\n
\u201cWelcome, Keeper.\u201d A formless voice greeted her.<\/p>\n
She answered with a small bow of her head.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe warrior has found her. Her time must end. But this you knew. Did you not?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI have watched them,\u201d she admitted quietly.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe must return.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe must die you mean,\u201d the Keeper hardly recognized her own rebellious voice.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy use this word \u2018die\u2019? It is a human word, Keeper.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt is what will happen. And she will suffer.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOnly for a moment.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI speak not of the physical suffering of death. I speak of her suffering here. Without him.\u201d Why was she so distraught over this one human? It was not in her nature to feel such emotions. She could only assume that it was her protective instinct of the ones she looked after. After all, it was her job to protect those given unto her care. Make the rest of their existence, their definition of eternity, a peaceful one. Cordelia was the first of her charges that had ever been sent back to the physical world. A world in which she still belonged. Cordelia would find no peace with the other souls and the knowledge of that rendered a large tear in the Keeper\u2019s bright spirit.<\/p>\n
The Keeper lifted her head, finding a bravery she wasn\u2019t sure she really had. \u201cIs it so wrong for them to be together? Must the warriors punishment continue? Even after all he has done? Does he not deserve his own kind of peace?\u201d<\/p>\n
The Keeper was met with a long silence that finally had her bending her head again in defeat. After several long, stretching moments the voice addressed her kindly, \u201cDear, Keeper. You do yourself justice in your affection for these souls. But there are events and plans of which you are not aware. Our separation of the warrior and of your charge is not a punishment. It is simply not part of the plan.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen give me awareness of the plan. Help me to understand why this must be done so that I may help her come to peace.\u201d<\/p>\n
There was another small pause before the voice began again. \u201cThe day of the human warrior is over. The time for a new chosen force is at hand. The Slayers have served their purpose and stopped the firestorm that budded at the Hellmouth. But they were like water to a fire. Dousing it until it is but smoke. But now the fire will resurface as a blazing inferno. The Slayers, being all called, will have no replacements, and not the strength to fight this war. There will be no more born and the called will live out their lives, putting out small fires, and dying heroes. Fire will be needed to fight the new fire. A monster to fight the monster.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo he will again be used to fight for us, never gaining his reward, to live.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDoes he not live now!\u201d the voice became angry. \u201cAnd is he not ungrateful for his gift.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGift? He is cursed. A broken soul brooding over a broken promise.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAh, to shanshu. To live. And do you define life with the beat of a heart as well, Keeper? Did your charge have a heartbeat in your garden? Do any of your wards?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d the Keeper answered softly.<\/p>\n
\u201cYet they still are. They have life here. What defines them then? What gives them eternity?\u201d<\/p>\n
The Keeper\u2019s eyes widened slightly in understanding. \u201cTheir soul.\u201d<\/p>\n
The voice was quiet.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut his soul was a curse. An accident.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere are no accidents.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut his demon stayed with him. Sharing the body.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAs it was meant to. It was the warrior who rejected his vampire half. Imagining himself human. Trying to be what he was not. That denial is what put him in danger. Nothing else.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut there is another that lives with a soul. Where is his demon?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWith him as well. It was part of his demon that sought the soul. Two warriors, vampires who live, if not by breath and beat of a heart, then by their souls. And they are just the beginning of a new race to fight for us, for the world.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou mean there will be others?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere are others now. Or at least one. The new warrior has sired a mate.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd Cordelia does not fit into that plan,\u201d the Keeper sighed with realization. \u201cShe, like the Slayers, is human and has served her purpose.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo not think we care nothing for her. She served us and the universe well. It is why we sent her to you. And soon she shall be with you and the others again. Time will wash away her memory of life with him. She will heal and the race will evolve.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow is it to be done?\u201d the Keeper asked quietly.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe time is not known, but she will die by the hands of a vampire.\u201d<\/p>\n
The Keeper\u2019s eyes shot up sharply, \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt is our decision and has already been sent to the Fates.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd it will serve two purposes, will it not?\u201d the Keeper added suspiciously.<\/p>\n
There was no answer.<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course it will. It will ensure the warrior\u2019s commitment to the fight by taking her in that way.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt has been decided. It will be done.\u201d<\/p>\n
The Keeper turned slowly, head hanging in defeat, a feeling that must be sorrow spreading through her body of light. She stilled for a moment, lost in a thought. She turned, hoping. \u201cI would see to her transition. If it would not offend the Fates,\u201d she tried to keep herself calm.<\/p>\n
There was silence.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe is my charge. I feel a warmth toward her. As do I for all my souls. But she has been special. May I see that it is done? Might I help her when it is time?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou must not forget what must be done Keeper. Her death has been decided, she must die, and do so in no other manner than what has been given to the Fates. To disturb this delicate balance could mean disaster for us all.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI understand,” the Keeper agreed, hoping Cordelia would understand the way in which her life must end.<\/p>\n
Part Six<\/b><\/p>\n
Cordelia\u2019s hands were still shaking as she tried for the second time to place her keys into the lock of her apartment door.<\/p>\n
\u201cHere,\u201d Angel said as he reached out and took the keys, unlocking the door.<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks,\u201d she mumbled, her eyes downcast.<\/p>\n
In fact, Angel had noticed, she hadn\u2019t looked at him once since they had left the building, even though he had tried desperately to catch a glance from her on the short taxi ride back to her place. He watched her intently as she took the keys from him and walked into the apartment, not looking back. She tried tossing them at an end table by her sofa, but the shaking apparently had her aim a little off and they clanged to the floor. She didn\u2019t bother picking them up. Instead she headed straight for the couch, sat down hard, and stared forward.<\/p>\n
She was in shock, Angel thought. Or in danger of it anyway. The thought of how she would have ended up if the dead guy had actually succeeded in raping her made Angel tremble just a bit. And the thought of how he would have handled the situation made him want to go back and finish the job Cordelia had been forced to start on the guy. Instead, he stood just outside her apartment, the door wide opened, staring at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia?\u201d he finally said softly.<\/p>\n
\u201cHmm?\u2019 she responded but didn\u2019t look his way.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia?\u201d this time a little stronger.<\/p>\n
Her eyes lifted to his, easing his anger a bit.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t come in. I mean, I want to. But\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d she seemed to try to shake her trance but failed. \u201cCome in.\u201d She looked forward again.<\/p>\n
Angel strode in cautiously, shutting the door and plunging the apartment into darkness. Walking to the couch, he reached for the lamp.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d she said quickly. \u201cDon\u2019t turn it on.\u201d<\/p>\n
He could tell she was still staring, holding her hands tight fisted on her lap, desperate to stop their shaking. He sat down beside her, waiting for her to speak. And she would speak, he knew it. This was Cordelia. His Cordelia. She would need to talk. Get it out. Clear the air and get it over with. He loved that about her. The way she dealt with the world and its ugliness. The way she took its punches, falling for only a moment before getting up again.<\/p>\n
She looked down at her hands even though he wasn\u2019t sure she could see them in the darkness. \u201cThey won\u2019t stop shaking,\u201d she said as she stared at them.<\/p>\n
Angel reached over, covering both her hands with one of his. Her hands, usually so warm, were colder than even his own dead skin. \u201cIt\u2019s normal. What he did\u2026.what he tried to do would throw anyone. Even you.\u201d<\/p>\n
She looked his way then, her eyes making out his shape but not his face. \u201cDo you think that\u2019s the first time a guy\u2019s tried that? I stopped shaking around the second or third experience with one of the many creeps in the world like James.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel stilled the growl that seemed to form from the man\u2019s name on her lips.<\/p>\n
\u201cI learned a long time ago that that was part of the game, part of getting ahead if you wanted to be an actress. So I learned little tricks to get around it, eventually getting lucky enough and good enough at it that nothing ever happened to me. So, you see, I\u2019m not so shocked by his behavior. Maybe a little shaken at how close I came to getting\u2026\u2026.\u201dshe looked back down at her hands, covered by Angel\u2019s. She didn\u2019t make a move to pull them free. \u201cI\u2019m in shock at my own. I\u2019ve never\u2026..\u201c She was quiet for a moment, then whispered, \u201cI could have killed him.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou didn\u2019t. It was a knock on the head. Self defense, Cordelia. I\u2019m glad you did it. Grateful.\u201d His jaw clenched. \u201cYou were merciful. He deserves death for what he tried to do to you,\u201d the last part was said so softly she almost didn\u2019t catch it and was surprised that his statement had not sickened or scared her.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut there was something in me that took over. Something\u2026\u2026like I\u2019d been trained to do it. To fight. To hold him off until-\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI could get there?\u201d<\/p>\n
She looked back at him quickly, \u201cBut that\u2019s not possible. Why would I do that? And how did you know I was there anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI looked at the address in your hand this morning. When you didn\u2019t show up for our\u2026.date\u2026..I thought I would trace the steps you took today, make sure you were alright.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSee, that right there,\u201d she said accusingly, puzzling Angel. \u201cThere is something seriously wrong with me,\u201d she shook her head and looked back down at their hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cWrong with you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, I mean. That should creep me out, right? You memorizing an address in my hand. Following my\u2026trail\u2026.because I\u2019m five or ten minutes late.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut it doesn\u2019t,\u201d he made it a quiet statement.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, it feels\u2026.I don\u2019t know\u2026.safe.\u201d She didn\u2019t mention the fact of him watching her apartment from the street that first night. How it had thrilled and scared her, excited her in a way that she didn\u2019t think it should. What was wrong with her? This was Angel. Why this close feeling? Even now, the way he was comforting her. His quiet stillness, his hand on hers, seemed right. Seemed natural.<\/p>\n
But even that wasn\u2019t the largest part of what had shaken her. It was the memories of violence that had flashed in her mind at the sound of the crack of James\u2019 head as the tripod connected with bone and flesh. Flashes of violence by her own hands. Hurting people, people she didn\u2019t recognize; and most of all, hurting Angel while she herself smiled. Was it a premonition? She had been having strange episodes over the last few weeks. Knowing when someone was going to burn themselves in the kitchen at the restaurant right before it happened. Stopping Carmen, the other hostess, from walking out into the street just before a speeding car zoomed by.<\/p>\n
She stared at his hand on hers, listened to the quiet of the apartment as he gave her time to think, as if he knew her, what she needed.<\/p>\n
No, it was no premonition. She could never hurt Angel. Maybe it was fear. Fear of what she was capable of that had given her the horrible images. After all, it could be a shocking thing to realize you were capable of giving someone else a concussion.<\/p>\n
Angel watched her think, feel her way through the scare she had been through, wanting to crush her to him but knowing she needed a moment to breathe through the shock of what had happened. \u201cHow you doing?\u201d he finally whispered when he felt the tremble in her hands easing.<\/p>\n
\u201cBetter. Sorry about all this. You wanted dinner, not the thrilling evening you actually got. And I\u2019m sure you\u2019re tired of hiding out here in the dark with me,\u201d she gently removed her hands from his and stood up, turning on the side lamp.<\/p>\n
Was she kidding? He could spend an eternity hiding in the dark with her. \u201cI could fix you something,\u201d he offered. \u201cIf you\u2019re hungry.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia\u2019s eyebrows raised as if he had just made the most ridiculous statement she had ever heard. \u201cYou?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSure,\u201d he stood and tried to act nonchalant, hoping to get to stay a little longer.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d she shook her head, weary from the nights events, confused by whatever was passing between the two of them. \u201cI was just going to take a long shower and head to bed.\u201d And wash the stink of James forever from her body. And burn her clothes. And give herself a long talk about listening to her inner radar.<\/p>\n
\u201cTake your shower,\u201d he began to usher her to her room gently. \u201cBy the time you\u2019re through I\u2019ll have dinner ready.\u201d<\/p>\n
She looked at him as he stood outside her bedroom door, looking like a kid waiting for permission for something in which he knew the answer would probably be a great big \u2018no\u2019.<\/p>\n
\u201cAlright, I\u2019ll be out in a bit,\u201d she said, giving a weak smile as she shut the door.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Thirty-five minutes later, her skin rosy from the amount of body scrub she had used, Cordelia came out of her room in flannel Pjs and floppy slippers. She cringed at what she must look like, had even considered putting on something a little more attractive, but frankly she was just too damned tired to be sexy tonight. So, she opted for comfort, hoping it didn\u2019t destroy any small attraction Angel held for her. Hesitantly, she walked into the kitchen, the most wonderful smell invading her head.<\/p>\n
Angel\u2019s back was to her as he flipped the humungous omelet over in her pan. God he looked sexy there. Standing in her kitchen. What was it about a man that made him even more attractive when he did something so domestic as cooking or holding children? The omelet was flipped-out onto a plate with an ease that would rival the head chef at the restaurant. Turning off the burner, Angel turned a was struck still, his eyes taking her in from head to toe, a look she couldn\u2019t define passing across his face.<\/p>\n
This was not good, Cordelia thought. Of course he was dumb struck. Look at her. He probably expected Cordelia Chase, high school cheerleader, all polished and beautiful before him. He had cooked her dinner after all, with his own hands. And he didn\u2019t even eat. Well, this was the best she could do. So what that the image was ruined. She would not feel bad. She would not be disappointed by that look on his face. No, she definitely would not.<\/p>\n
Look at her, Angel thought. God she was gorgeous. From her floppy house shoes to her too-baggy pajamas. That\u2019s what he loved about her. The world thought of her as some ice cold beauty queen, so that\u2019s what she gave them. But his Cordelia was way deeper than that. She was all warmth and strength and it pleased him to no end that she had come out of her room this way. No pretense, no attempt to improve on her already natural beauty. Just Cordelia. Natural and beautiful.<\/p>\n
Cordelia fidgeted at the buttons of her flannel top, feeling as if the comfort route had now been a mistake. \u201cIt smells wonderful,\u201d she decided to break the tension, pulling Angel from his trance. \u201cI didn\u2019t think I had all of that in my fridge.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou didn\u2019t actually.\u201d Actually it had worried him just how empty it was. \u201cI ran down to the little grocer on the corner,\u201d he explained as he sat the plate on the table. He turned and opened a few drawers, found the flatware and placed it beside the plate, pulling the chair out, waiting.<\/p>\n
Cordelia smiled, that Cordelia smile and he wished he could rewind the moment, place the plate and fork down and pull the chair out again just to see it form across her face a second time.<\/p>\n
She sat down, \u201cAren\u2019t you going to sit?\u201d she hoped.<\/p>\n
Angel shook himself, he was staring again. \u201cYeah, sure.\u201d He pulled out the chair to her right and sat. Watching her as she picked up the fork, cut off a square and took a bite. She closed her eyes as she chewed.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is,\u201d she swallowed. \u201cOh my gosh. This is great. How did you learn to cook?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve been around a while. Picked up a few things.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut you don\u2019t eat.\u201d<\/p>\n
He shrugged his shoulders and smiled as she took another bite. Loving the way her perfect mouth fit delicately around the fork before sliding back.<\/p>\n
\u201cI feel self conscious. You watching me eat.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t. I like it.\u201d<\/p>\n
She laughed then. Really laughed. \u201cI\u2019ve never been around a man that liked to watch a woman eat. At least I don\u2019t think I have. \u201c<\/p>\n
He shrugged his shoulders again, smiling just a little, in ecstasy over the intimate moment. Maybe he was finally being rewarded. Because this definitely ranked top of the list, sitting in Cordelia\u2019s kitchen, watching her eat, giving him a smile now and then in her sexy, heart stopping, flannel moon pajamas and her fluffy slippers.<\/p>\n
The minutes flew by and over the next hour their soft voices and occasional laughter floated from the kitchen. Angel didn\u2019t want it to end. Ever. But after an hour, the omelet gone and dishes washed, Cordelia started walking to the living section of her apartment slowly making her way to the door. He didn\u2019t want to leave. God help him, he almost prayed for the days of her visions, the times when he stayed with her, helped her through them. He cursed himself for thinking that way. Knowing what they had done to her. To them all. So he followed her like a good date would, making his way with her to the door.<\/p>\n
God, she didn\u2019t want him to leave. But how do you say, \u201cNo, please stay\u201d to a guy without him thinking it means you\u2019re a slut. And that certainly wasn\u2019t the picture she wanted to paint for Angel right now. She wanted Angel to feel that glow she was feeling. That warmth that let you know you wanted a guy, not just in your bed for that night, but in your life. She let out a little sigh of disappointment as they reached the door, thinking it too small for Angel to catch.<\/p>\n
It wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo,\u201d she said expectantly at the door.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo,\u201d he repeated. He knew she didn\u2019t want him to leave. That was what the little sigh had meant. Wasn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks for the omelet. And the company. I don\u2019t think I could have gotten through tonight quite as well if you hadn\u2019t been here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI could stay,\u201d he said before he could stop himself. \u201cI mean. Not for\u2026.just for company I mean. I could stay, sleep on the couch. I hate leaving you here tonight after what happened. Not that you didn\u2019t prove you can take care of yourself pretty well. I just\u2026. I want to. If you\u2019ll let me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Yes! That\u2019s what she wanted to say. \u201cI guess,\u201d she opted for the cooler route. \u201cIf the couch is okay with you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, I\u2019m crashing with Spike. I\u2019m obviously not that picky.\u201d Christ, why did he say that? Smooth. Real smooth.<\/p>\n
Well, that was not promising, she thought with sarcasm. Her place ranked on the \u2018I\u2019m not that picky\u2019 chart. Right along side Spike\u2019s. \u201cI\u2019ll get some blankets and the extra pillow off my bed.\u201d She disappeared into her room, her voice echoing out from its walls, \u201cThe curtains are thick, just pulling them closed should be okay,\u201d she came from the room with a blanket and pillow in hand.<\/p>\n
She was thinking about him. Worrying over what the sun might do to him in the morning. Angel stared at her for a moment because he couldn\u2019t help himself, catching them both in some kind of unspoken moment. Something that neither could voice passing between them. He walked to her slowly, taking the pillow and blanket from her arms. \u201cThanks,\u201d he whispered, his eyes never leaving hers as he let the bedding fall to the couch beside them. God, he wanted her so badly, and felt like a jerk because of what she had gone through just hours before. How could he be so insensitive? She had almost been raped for Christ\u2019s sake.<\/p>\n
She wanted him to kiss her so badly. If she was honest with herself, she wanted much more than that. But he seemed hesitant, scared even. So, she took the initiative, \u201cWell,\u201d she said and stood up on her toes a little, giving him a soft, slow peck on the cheek. \u201cGoodnight,\u201d she whispered, knowing it had been no innocent gesture, the word \u2018goodnight\u2019 breathing against his cheek before she was completely facing him again.<\/p>\n
Angel caught her arm gently when she would have turned to go and pulled her close to him. He felt her heart race a little, but couldn\u2019t sense fear. He took that as his green light and pulled her even closer, wrapping his arms around her.<\/p>\n
Cordelia watched as his lips descended slowly to hers, felt their first brush of cool, soft skin. She kissed him back, not hard but not soft. A solid kiss that had Angel leaning in a little further, pulling her a little closer.<\/p>\n
Angel growled softly. She tasted so good, he\u2019d forgotten how good. All of the others, the ones he had tried to make into her in his loneliness seemed like shadows compared to what he felt now. His hands found their way up and tangled in her mass of hair and his chest rumbled with something between a growl and a moan, he tilted his head, his mouth enticing hers to open to him.<\/p>\n
The vibration coming from Angel\u2019s chest sent a shock racing through Cordelia and when he deepened their kiss, she opened her mouth to his, felt the first stroke of his tongue, and\u2026\u2026 Fire. That\u2019s what she felt. Some exquisite burn that started in the pit of her stomach, making it\u2019s way lower until she lost herself, melting in the kiss.
\nHis tongue slipped inside, dancing with hers, diving in, retreating, until they both groaned together with the ecstasy of the kiss and the frustration of wanting more.<\/p>\n
Cordelia reached up, her arms sliding around his neck, fingers slipping through his hair. Their heads changed positions as they kissed and nipped at each other, deepening the kiss yet again, mimicking with their mouths what they wanted to do with their bodies.<\/p>\n
Her body was going up in flames, burning even as it shivered in response to him. Her flannel top suddenly felt itchy against her hard nipples. She couldn\u2019t get close enough. God, she was so aroused and\u2026\u2026so was he, she thought as she felt the evidence of how turned on he was through his black trousers as it pressed hard against her stomach. She pulled back slightly for a breath.<\/p>\n
\u201cCouch,\u201d Angel said a little weakly. \u201cI\u2019m sleeping on the couch,\u201d as if to reassure her or to harness himself.<\/p>\n
\u201cUh-huh,\u201d she agreed before diving back in for another kiss.<\/p>\n
Cordelia was pressed solidly to him now, flannel and silk and leather their only obstacles. She was lost, almost gone when her brain began its attempt to interrupt. \u2018It\u2019s Angel.\u2019 She heard it whisper to her.<\/p>\n
She ignored it. So, what? It was Angel, and she wanted him more than she had ever wanted any other man in her life.<\/p>\n
Man\u2026.pire.<\/p>\n
Vampire.<\/p>\n
Angel. Vampire, with a soul.<\/p>\n
Cursed, vampire with a soul.<\/p>\n
Cordelia shoved him away.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat? What\u2019s wrong?\u201d Angel asked, confused and a little more than dazed.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe can\u2019t,\u201d Cordelia panted, trying desperately to catch her breath. \u201cYou\u2026me,\u201d her hand waved between them, her head shaking.<\/p>\n
It had been too soon. Damn it. He knew it had been too soon. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Cordy. I should just go.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d she said quickly. \u201cWe just,\u201d she took a deep breath. \u201cMaybe we need to cool things off for tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel took a small, reluctant step away, wondering if his body would agree to the retreat.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m just going to turn in,\u201d she started backing to the bedroom before losing her self control again, knowing if she stayed any longer they\u2019d both be in a world of trouble.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m just going to,\u201d he indicated the couch.<\/p>\n
Cordelia reached her room, \u201cGoodnight,\u201d she made herself shut the door even as he repeated the word back.<\/p>\n