Part 18<\/b><\/p>\n
Saturday, 9:46 p.m.<\/i><\/p>\n
The inside of O\u2019Neill\u2019s bar was thick with cigar smoke; obviously they\u2019d chosen to ignore the newly-enacted anti-smoking laws. Mr. Chase breathed deeply, enjoying the pungent aroma as it filled his lungs. He\u2019d given up cigars five years ago, but he loved to come to places like this and get a taste of the good old days.<\/p>\n
He glanced over at his son-in-law, who sat hunched over the bar, swirling the scotch in his glass. Angel seemed mesmerized by the spinning amber liquid, lost in thought. Dejection rolled off the vampire in palpable waves, mixing with the bittersweet smoke and engendering fatherly concern in his drinking companion.<\/p>\n
They\u2019d barely said two words to each other since they\u2019d entered the bar, bonding silently in the way of strong, confident men who are acquainting themselves with each other\u2019s presence. Mr. Chase could sense the integrity in this man, the desire to be more than he was, the fierce love he held for Cordelia. He\u2019d seen the protective way Angel\u2019s eyes had scanned her form as she\u2019d entered her apartment, checking to make sure she was safe and uninjured. He knew that Angel did it without thinking about it, and it comforted him to know that his daughter was loved and protected.<\/p>\n
As much as he was pleased by that, he was dismayed by the realization that the misery Angel felt right now was most likely his daughter\u2019s doing. If he knew anything about Chase women, it was that they weren\u2019t hurt easily, but when they were, the return trip from the doghouse to the bedroom was nothing short of hell.<\/p>\n
Mr. Chase cleared his throat, breaking the silence. \u201cSo, son, why does my daughter look like she\u2019d like to skin you alive?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel looked up at him in surprise. \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI recognized that false cheerfulness. Amelia\u2019s done that number on me more times than I can count. What did you do, forget her birthday?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel wished it were that simple. \u201cNot exactly.\u201d<\/p>\n
Realizing he\u2019d have to force the truth from his recalcitrant son-in-law, Mr. Chase\u2019s voice turned gruff. \u201cWell, spill it, boy. I\u2019ve had some experience with angry Chase women. That\u2019s a patch of thorns you\u2019d do good to get out of as soon as possible.\u201d<\/p>\n
Swallowing a drink of scotch, Angel contemplated how much he should reveal to Cordelia\u2019s father. He couldn\u2019t tell him about the marriage charade, but maybe he could be vague enough to satisfy the man.<\/p>\n
\u201cLast night, I, uh, we\u2014\u201c He stopped. How exactly do you tell your wife\u2019s father that you were trying to have sex with his daughter?<\/p>\n
Mr. Chase smiled knowingly at Angel\u2019s obvious discomfort.. \u201cI get it; say no more. You were enjoying the benefits of marriage, eh?\u201d He winked, nudging Angel\u2019s side with his elbow. \u201cSo, how\u2019d you foul it up?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s still not convinced I love her, and I didn\u2019t say it before I, um, well, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mr. Chase whistled long and low as he shook his head. \u201cWell, I\u2019d say you screwed up. Big time.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel just nodded, then downed the rest of his scotch in one quick gulp. He welcomed the fire in his throat as the liquid burned as he swallowed.<\/p>\n
He was glad he\u2019d set down the glass when Mr. Chase continued. \u201cMy wife whispered to me today that Cordelia thinks you\u2019d divorce her if your ex-girlfriend, Buffy, wanted you back.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel was shocked at first. \u201cReally? She actually thinks that?\u201d<\/p>\n
Then after a moment of self-deprecating contemplation, Angel grunted and said, \u201cI guess I can\u2019t blame her. I haven\u2019t exactly told her I\u2019m not in love with Buffy anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou must have a serious history with her for Cordelia to be so scared.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe had a tough break up. I couldn\u2019t give her the life she deserved, and I wanted to stay with her, but it just didn\u2019t work out. When Cordelia and I first started working together here in LA, I was<\/i> still in love with Buffy. But not anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n
Studying Angel carefully, Mr. Chase sat back in the barstool and crossed his arms in front of him. \u201cI\u2019ll tell you what, Angel. I\u2019ll let you in on a little secret about Chase women.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel waited, albeit somewhat skeptically. He didn\u2019t think there was anything he could do to make the situation better, but he was willing to hear anything.<\/p>\n
\u201cI had a similar situation with Amelia when we were first married. I had been engaged when I met Amelia for the first time, and she was dating someone else. Genevieve and I had a really rocky breakup; basically she slept with someone else and I was heartbroken. Amelia started out as my shoulder to cry on, and then I fell in love with her.\u201d<\/p>\n
He paused for a moment, lost in the memories.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnyway, about two months after we got married, Genevieve caught me at home alone and pushed her way in. She got all teary and begged me to take her back and wouldn\u2019t take no for an answer. She kissed me, I gave in to a moment of weakness and didn\u2019t stop her, and Amelia saw it. I\u2019ll never forget that look on her face: cold, abject betrayal. I couldn\u2019t say anything that would make her believe that I wanted her now, not Genevieve. After all, I\u2019d told her at least a hundred times when we first met how much I wanted Genevieve back.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel waited anxiously for him to continue. \u201cSo what happened?\u201d he prompted.<\/p>\n
\u201cGenevieve kept calling, I kept hanging up on her, and it just kept getting worse. I had no idea how to fix it, but I knew that I wasn\u2019t about to let Amelia out of my sight; I didn\u2019t want Genevieve to catch me alone again and make the situation worse.\u201d<\/p>\n
He grunted, shaking his head ruefully as he remembered the day it all came to a head.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis went on for a few weeks; Amelia giving me the silent treatment and me following like a wounded puppy at her heels. She wouldn\u2019t let me say \u2018I love you\u2019; she said it was insulting after what she thought I\u2019d done. So I tried to show her, but that didn\u2019t work very well, either. The true test came when Genevieve called our house again and Amelia answered. She got this strange look on her face, clenched her jaw, and just handed the phone to me. \u2018It\u2019s her<\/i>,\u2019 she said, as if just saying Genevieve\u2019s name was enough to make her sick to her stomach.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI took the phone and when Amelia tried to leave the room, I grabbed her and made her stay to listen. I told Genevieve in no uncertain terms that if she ever called our house again, I\u2019d have the law on her so fast she\u2019d have to move to Europe to get away from the hassle. And I told her that I loved Amelia and I planned to be with her until I died, so Genevieve should just leave us the hell alone. Then I hung up on her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid it work?\u201d Angel asked, a little skeptical that Amelia would believe Randall\u2019s performance.<\/p>\n
\u201cActually, it did. I was even kind of surprised. I\u2019d almost given up hope. It turns out that all Amelia wanted me to do was take a stand on the issue. She thought I was being two-faced; that I told her I loved her and acted like it when she was around, but that I really wanted Genevieve and I was marking time until I could be with her again. Telling her and showing her weren\u2019t enough; I had to kick Genevieve\u2019s ass, well, verbally anyway, before Amelia would give me the time of day again.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel ordered another scotch as the bar tender passed their way, then asked, \u201cSo were you two okay after that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYep, right as rain,\u201d he said cheerfully, grabbing a handful of pretzels from the basket near him and stuffing them in his mouth.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd you think this would work with Cordy?\u201d Angel asked warily.<\/p>\n
Mr. Chase sighed. \u201cI don\u2019t know, son, but it\u2019s worth a try. This Buffy girl been trying to get you back?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot exactly,\u201d Angel smiled wryly. \u201cAnd she\u2019d kick my ass if I called her up out of the blue and told her to stay away from me forever when she\u2019s planning to do just that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, I guess the only other thing to do is corner my daughter when Amelia and I leave and tell her that if Buffy came back, you\u2019d stay with her, not leave with Buffy. That\u2019s going to mean more to her than a million \u2018I love you\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mr. Chase smiled proudly as he thought of his daughter. \u201cMy baby girl is a carbon copy of her beautiful mother; that girl won\u2019t take shit from anybody.\u201d<\/p>\n
He clapped Angel on the back, hard enough to make him choke on his scotch. \u201cMakes it hell on us husbands, but the flip side is that the making up is just as passionate as the anger.\u201d He grinned. \u201cAnd I wouldn\u2019t have it any other way.\u201d<\/p>\n
The emotional torture increased as Angel allowed himself to imagine the possibility of making love to Cordelia with no barriers, emotional or physical, between them. He knew, without a doubt, that the experience would be so blissful that it would sever the delicate bonds anchoring his soul to his demon, and he couldn\u2019t allow that.<\/p>\n
Damn it, he had<\/i> to talk to Wesley about that curse.<\/p>\n
Mr. Chase\u2019s words once again brought Angel out of his cloud of misery. \u201cSo, about your finances. Any chance that \u2018family money\u2019 wasn\u2019t just a fib to make my wife feel better?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel decided that truth was the best course of action. \u201cBefore I got my soul back, I accumulated a lot of wealth from my victims. I haven\u2019t touched it because it\u2019s tainted, but I still have access to it and I\u2019d use it in a heartbeat if Cordelia needed it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mr. Chase couldn\u2019t keep himself from asking, \u201cHow much are we talking here, round numbers?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWith interest, $100 million, give or take a few hundred thousand,\u201d Angel said. He could\u2019ve been talking about the weather for all the emotional intensity of his words.<\/p>\n
Cordelia\u2019s father was taken aback at the figure. \u201cWell, I\u2019d say you\u2019re financially stable, then.\u201d He cleared his throat, his head reeling at what he could do with a sum that large, but he shook it off. \u201cMakes me feel better, knowing that my baby girl is taken care of.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPlease don\u2019t\u2019 say anything to Cordelia; she thinks I\u2019m poor and I\u2019d like to keep it that way,\u201d Angel said.<\/p>\n
Gulping down the last of his scotch, Mr. Chase nodded and stood up. \u201cOf course, Angel. I\u2019ll respect your privacy.\u201d<\/p>\n
He threw some money on the bar.<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s go see if we can get your wife to talk to you again, eh?\u201d<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Sunday, 6:05 p.m.<\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cBye, Mom. Call me when you get there, okay?\u201d Cordelia hugged her mother fiercely.<\/p>\n
\u201cSure, sweetie,\u201d Mrs. Chase answered, her eyes teary.<\/p>\n
Cordelia turned to her father. \u201cBye, Daddy.\u201d She reached to give him a hug.<\/p>\n
As his arms went around his daughter, Mr. Chase took the opportunity to whisper in Cordelia\u2019s ear, \u201cDon\u2019t stay mad at him forever, baby girl. He loves you and you don\u2019t want to run him off.\u201d He kissed her cheek, then pulled away.<\/p>\n
He grinned when he saw his daughter\u2019s irritated scowl and was reminded once again of his wife.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel, take care of her for us,\u201d Mr. Chase said, shaking Angel\u2019s hand. \u201cAnd remember what I said, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI will on both counts. You\u2019re welcome to come visit anytime; we\u2019d love to have you,\u201d Angel said, surprised that he meant it.<\/p>\n
Mr. and Mrs. Chase made one last round of hugs, then exited, the door shutting with a click that echoed in the silence that remained.<\/p>\n
Angel and Cordelia both stared at the door for a few minutes, wary of each other and not sure how to proceed. They\u2019d both used her parents as an excuse to avoid dealing with their problems, but now they had to face them.<\/p>\n
Cordelia moved first. She spared a brief, shuttered glance at Angel, then grabbed her purse. \u201cI\u2019m going out,\u201d she said, not able to take the tension in the room.<\/p>\n
Angel shot a hand out and stopped her as she reached for her coat. \u201cNo, let me. I have to patrol anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFine,\u201d she said tersely, turning away and disappearing into the bedroom.<\/p>\n
She stood stiffly, facing the window as he prepared to leave. The moment she heard the door click softly as it closed behind him, her shoulders slumped and her face fell, revealing tired features she\u2019d been trying so hard to hide. She shuffled over to the bed, laying down and curling up into a fetal position, hugging her knees to her chest, despondent beyond tears.<\/p>\n
Misery was not a pleasant state.<\/p>\n
The past 24 hours had been an emotional torture unlike anything she\u2019d ever experienced. Her face hurt from forced smiling, her head throbbed from trying not to think about Angel, and her throat hurt from holding back tears. At least when Xander had cheated on her, she\u2019d been able to wail and carry on in peace. Now, she had to put up a brave front for her parents and she had to live with the man who\u2019d broken her heart.<\/p>\n
The truth was that she wanted Angel back so badly that she could taste it. At this point, Cordelia almost didn\u2019t care if he was in love with Buffy. She wanted him anyway. She would take as much of him as she could get, live with the consequences of unrequited love, but at least she would have him. She knew it was an unhealthy attitude, but being strong wasn\u2019t getting her anything but a migraine.<\/p>\n
Angel wanted her; that part wasn\u2019t in dispute. The part that cut her so deeply was the question of whether or not he\u2019d choose her over Buffy if a choice ever became an option. When she\u2019d woken up in so much physical pleasure with him the other morning, she would\u2019ve said unequivocally that he was just using her. Now, though, after the way he\u2019d been acting the last 24 hours, she wasn\u2019t so sure. Maybe he was in love with both women at the same time. But that option didn\u2019t solve anything either. Cordelia was selfish; she wanted Angel to love her and only her, and she thought she had a right to feel that way.<\/p>\n
Last night had been the acutest torture of all. Sleeping alongside Angel, knowing that he was just inches away and that he wanted her if she would accept him, ate away at her resolve like acid on metal. She\u2019d slept fitfully, waking with her pride intact but very, very fragile. She wanted him so badly that she was practically shaking with it, but her mind wouldn\u2019t let her give in. She was too hurt, felt too betrayed, to surrender.<\/p>\n
Suddenly the emotional baggage of those thoughts became way too heavy to handle, so she shoved them aside and closed her eyes, begging for the oblivion of sleep.<\/p>\n
Insistent knocking dragged her out of pleasant nothingness a few hours later. She groaned, pulling the pillow over her head as if blocking the sounds would make the person go away. When it didn\u2019t, she hauled herself from the bed, just in time to see Angel bolt from the bathroom, dripping, a towel wrapped around his waist. She wondered sleepily when he\u2019d come back, then trudged after him, stopping at the threshold of the bedroom and leaning against the doorframe.<\/p>\n
Angel lunged for the door, flinging it open, and both their mouths dropped open in surprise at their visitor.<\/p>\n
Cordelia recovered first, saying tightly, \u201cWell hi, Buffy. Welcome to our little corner of hell.\u201d<\/p>\n
Part 19<\/b><\/p>\n
Sunday, 9:25 p.m.<\/i><\/p>\n
Buffy looked at Cordelia strangely, then shrugged as if she didn\u2019t understand her. She turned her gaze to Angel, and her eyes softened and she smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cHi, Angel.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel just gaped at her, his head reeling, time seeming to stand still as he stared into the pretty face of his ex-girlfriend.<\/p>\n
Buffy was here.<\/p>\n
In L.A.<\/p>\n
What the hell was going on?<\/p>\n
Cordelia broke into his scattered thoughts. \u201cDon\u2019t just stand there like a dork, Angel, invite her in.\u201d<\/p>\n
It tore her in two to say that, but at least she\u2019d be able to finally put this behind her. Angel would fall all over Buffy like he usually did, he\u2019d ask for an annulment, and Cordelia could get on with her life.<\/p>\n
She\u2019d be dead inside, but she would deal with it. She always did.<\/p>\n
\u201cUm, yeah, Buffy, come on in,\u201d Angel said, feeling totally like the dork that Cordelia always accused him of being. He stepped back, opening the door wider and giving Buffy room to enter. He followed her to the couch and sat down on the opposite end, leaving plenty of room between them.<\/p>\n
Buffy, obviously not enjoying the distance, scooted over closer to him, but Angel bolted off the sofa and perched on the edge, maintaining the space.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo what brings you to L.A.?\u201d Angel asked, crossing his arms and looking nervously over at Cordelia, who was still watching from the bedroom door.<\/p>\n
Buffy looked pointedly over at Cordelia. \u201cCan we talk alone, Angel?\u201d she said, her tone indicating that Cordelia should just take the hint and scram.<\/p>\n
Her not-so-subtle suggestion made Cordelia\u2019s blood boil. Her thoughts turned nasty: He\u2019s mine, bitch, and I\u2019ll die before I leave and let you sink your claws into him again<\/i>. Immediately, she turned the anger on herself when she recognized the jealousy. She had no legitimate claim on him. Maybe legally, but not emotionally. He\u2019d never told her he loved her. It didn\u2019t matter how she felt.<\/p>\n
So she did the mature thing, as much as it killed her inside.<\/p>\n
\u201cObviously you two have a lot to talk about,\u201d Cordelia said, her smile forced as she refused to meet Angel\u2019s eyes. \u201cI\u2019ll just be in here.\u201d She backed into the bedroom and reached to close the door.<\/p>\n
\u201cWait! Cordelia, you don\u2019t have to go,\u201d Angel said, his voice close to desperate as he jumped off the couch and crossed the room to her, grasping her arm.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, I do, Angel,\u201d she argued quietly, trying to free herself from his grip.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, you don\u2019t. I want you here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUm, Excuse me?\u201d Buffy\u2019s annoyed voice interrupted them and Angel turned to look at her. \u201cAngel, it would really be better if I could talk to you alone. Cordelia doesn\u2019t have anything to do with this,\u201d her eyes were expressive, leaving no doubt that the conversation topic would concern their relationship, not any apocalyptic predictions.<\/p>\n
Angel\u2019s expression hardened as he dredged up 250 years worth of stubbornness. He was not going to make the same mistake that Mr. Chase had made. He was NOT going to compromise his relationship with Cordelia by being alone with his ex-girlfriend who obviously wanted him back.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel, just do what she asks,\u201d Cordelia implored him, not wanting to make a scene.<\/p>\n
\u201cBuffy, excuse us for a second, okay?\u201d He smiled tightly at her and dragged Cordelia back into the bedroom, shutting the door behind them.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia, I DO NOT want to be alone with Buffy. I want you there with me, okay? I need you there. I don\u2019t want to give Buffy any impression that I want to get back together with her.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia was dumbfounded. \u201cYou don\u2019t want Buffy back? But I thought. . .\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel growled with frustration, knowing that Buffy was waiting with growing impatience out in the other room and that there would be hell to pay if he didn\u2019t deal with her soon. He didn\u2019t have enough time to explain to Cordelia, who still felt very used and betrayed, how he felt and not sound like he had ulterior motives.<\/p>\n
So he left love out of it for now and gave her as honest an answer as he could.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy life is here, Cordelia. My mission is here, my family is here. Buffy can\u2019t leave Sunnydale. Nothing about our circumstances has changed since we broke up, and nothing she will say can convince me otherwise.\u201d<\/p>\n
She looked at him skeptically.<\/p>\n
\u201cI need you with me so that I\u2019m reminded of what I have here. I need you to hear me say that I won\u2019t leave you, not even for Buffy. Please, Cordy.\u201d<\/p>\n
She seemed to hesitate for a moment, then her features softened.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, Angel,\u201d she said simply.<\/p>\n
He smiled with relief, then took her hand and brought her back to the living room with him. They stood awkwardly in front of Buffy, not wanting to sit down.<\/p>\n
Buffy looked less than pleased.<\/p>\n
\u201cBuffy, whatever you have to say does concern Cordelia. I want her here,\u201d he said, his voice leaving no room for argument. \u201cSo what is it you wanted to talk about?\u201d<\/p>\n
Buffy allowed herself to glare at Cordelia for a moment, then she ignored her completely and turned an excited face to Angel.<\/p>\n
\u201cGiles found a way to make your soul permanent, Angel.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia gasped. \u201cAre you sure it\u2019s legitimate?\u201d<\/p>\n
Annoyed at Cordelia\u2019s interruption, Buffy answered with no small measure of snottiness. \u201cOf course. I wouldn\u2019t have come here if there was a chance it might not work.\u201d Her face turned serious as she considered that unpalatable possibility. \u201cI don\u2019t think I could take it if there was a slight chance for us to be together and then it didn\u2019t happen.\u201d<\/p>\n
Buffy\u2019s expression brightened as she pulled herself out of self-reflection. \u201cBut this is a sure thing. Giles has checked it a bunch of times, and he\u2019s sure it will work.\u201d She stood up excitedly, rushing to Angel, grasping him in a hug.<\/p>\n
\u201cIsn\u2019t that fantastic, Angel? We can finally be together, just like we\u2019ve always wanted.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia\u2019s world rocked and she suddenly felt extremely nauseous. Angel said that he didn\u2019t want to be with Buffy because nothing had changed. Well, this changed everything. Angel could have a real relationship with Buffy.<\/p>\n
Angel was going to leave her, just like she\u2019d feared. Her nightmare was about to come true.<\/p>\n
Daring one stricken glance at Angel, she saw how his arms had gone to Buffy\u2019s shoulders, grasping them firmly as she hugged him. She saw the shocked look on his face, and the light in his eyes as he realized that the curse could be a thing of the past. She saw in that embrace the destruction of every last shred of hope she\u2019d held on to, and she couldn\u2019t stay there and watch her life implode. She choked back a sob and disappeared back into the bedroom.<\/p>\n
Angel watched her go helplessly as Buffy held him in a grip that would\u2019ve crushed a mortal man. Suddenly, his skin crawled with the knowledge that Cordelia had seen Buffy hugging him and he hadn\u2019t pushed her away fast enough.<\/p>\n
Noticing the pressure he was applying to her shoulders, Buffy pulled back, her arms still around his waist. Her eyes turned questioning and she asked, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong, Angel?\u201d<\/p>\n
In the bedroom, tears coursed silently down Cordelia\u2019s cheeks. She desperately wanted to let go and scream, but she couldn\u2019t do that, not with Buffy in the next room. She wouldn\u2019t give her the satisfaction of seeing her broken heart. But upon hearing Buffy\u2019s question through the slightly open door, she couldn\u2019t help but listen. She didn\u2019t think her heart could take hearing Angel declare his love for Buffy, but she couldn\u2019t drag herself away.<\/p>\n
Angel gently grasped Buffy\u2019s hands and pulled them from around his waist, pushing her away from him.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m married to Cordelia, Buffy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUh, what?\u201d Buffy said, aghast.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re married.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMarried?\u201d Buffy looked like she might hyperventilate, her eyes wide as she stepped back a step. After a moment of stunned silence, her eyes narrowed and she looked at the bedroom door suspiciously.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat did Cordelia do to you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo to me?\u201d Angel asked, an eyebrow raised. \u201cNothing like what you\u2019re implying. She has been my closest friend since I moved to LA, and I fell in love with her.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia stifled a gasp at his words as she listened, desperately wanting his words to be true, but dreading that they were just a way to get Buffy to leave for her own good.<\/p>\n
Buffy shook her head slowly, refusing to accept this. \u201cNo, you can\u2019t love her Angel. You love me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI did love you, Buffy, but not anymore, not like that,\u201d Angel\u2019s features held no apology, just determination.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut the curse. . .You didn\u2019t sleep with her, did you?\u201d Buffy asked, ironically hopeful that he would say he did. If he did and he still had his soul, that meant that he wasn\u2019t really happy, and she still had a chance.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, we haven\u2019t, not that it\u2019s any of your business. But I want to, more than anything I\u2019ve ever wanted in my entire life.\u201d<\/p>\n
Buffy saw the truth in his eyes as he said that, and her world fell apart. \u201cAngel, I still love you. We could make this work. I know that when I saw you last you saw me with Riley, but what you and I had was so much more. . . I love you so much, Angel. Please, don\u2019t do this to me,\u201d she begged, tears forming in her eyes and spilling over.<\/p>\n
Angel sighed. Now he had two women upset with him. \u201cBuffy, I never meant to hurt you, but I never thought we\u2019d be together again. I couldn\u2019t hang on to a love I could never have. And when I let go, Cordelia was there. First as my secretary, then as my best friend, and now as the woman I can\u2019t imagine my life without.\u201d<\/p>\n
Smiling softly, Angel thought back to what had made him see the truth. \u201cWhat really convinced me is when I realized that even Angelus is in love with her, although the ass won\u2019t admit it,\u201d Angel shook his head ruefully, remembering Angelus\u2019s lustful taunting in Angel\u2019s head. The demon wouldn\u2019t admit it, but he was definitely in love with Cordelia, too.<\/p>\n
\u201cBoth my soul and my demon are fulfilled by Cordelia, and I can\u2019t live without her.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia\u2019s tears flowed unchecked as she listened to Angel speak, the sincerity and earnestness obvious in his voice.<\/p>\n
Angel did love her.<\/p>\n
Buffy sobbed once, then stopped, choking the rest down in a way that made her feel as if her throat were closed off.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ll change your mind, Angel. You love me, I know you do,\u201d she said hoarsely, desperation driving her words.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not going to change my mind, Buffy. I have a chance to be happy with Cordelia and I\u2019m not going to jeopardize that.\u201d<\/p>\n
At the mention of the word \u201chappy,\u201d Buffy\u2019s thoughts returned to the curse she\u2019d come here to dispel. Her broken heart gave way to intense rage.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you think I\u2019m going to give you the solution to your curse just so you can sleep with Cordelia, you\u2019ve got another thing coming.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel\u2019s eyes widened and in the bedroom, Cordelia\u2019s heart nearly stopped. Buffy couldn\u2019t do this.<\/p>\n
She wouldn\u2019t withhold that from Angel so cruelly, would she?<\/p>\n
\u201cBuffy\u2014\u201c Angel began, reaching for her imploringly.<\/p>\n
Buffy shook her head. \u201cNo, Angel. I\u2019m not going to encourage your temporary insanity. You should have thought about this before you chose her over me.\u201d<\/p>\n
She backed up a few steps, nearing the door. Her eyes narrowed and she stared him down, the venom in her eyes almost tangible.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen you come to your senses, you know where to find me. Until then, I want you to think about whether a lifetime of misery with Cordelia would be better than a lifetime of happiness with me. I think the right answer is pretty obvious.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel\u2019s heart was breaking. \u201cBuffy, please, don\u2019t do this,\u201d Angel begged, the pain in his voice strengthening Buffy\u2019s resolve.<\/p>\n
She shook her head slowly. \u201cDon\u2019t you see, Angel? I have to. For us.\u201d<\/p>\n
In the bedroom, Cordelia\u2019s heart pounded frantically as she realized what was happening. Her chance for happiness with Angel was walking out the door with Buffy, and she\u2019d still never have him even though he loved her. No, Buffy, please.<\/i> she begged silently. For once, look outside yourself and let Angel be happy, even if it isn\u2019t with you.<\/i><\/p>\n
But her pleas went unheard and she heard the door slam behind her nemesis. She gave way to the pain and sobbed, her tears flowing unchecked as she hugged her knees and rocked herself on the floor.<\/p>\n
Her anguish was echoed by a ferocious growl and shout from the living room, followed by the sound of broken furniture.<\/p>\n