********<\/b><\/p>\n
The hallway light provided Cordelia with the ability to see both Connor and Angel clearly while keeping her son out of the direct beam. Surrounded by the two most important men in her life, the brunette allowed herself a moment to absorb the image in front of her.<\/p>\n
Angel was looking at pictures his son had drawn on the drive to Sunnydale, as he interacted with the five year old, Cordelia didn’t miss the shine in the vampire’s gaze when he looked back at her. She’d watched as he’d won the right to make Connor his bedtime chocolate drink, stating in a serious tone how he was known the world over for his hot chocolate.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy mom says that you’re special\u201d Connor piped up, feeling it was the right time to find out if his mom had been telling porkies all along. \u201cAnd that Sunnypale is a special place where weird thing happen all the time. Is it true or she telling porkies?\u201d<\/p>\n
A surprised gaze was sent Cordelia’s way and she found herself struggling to keep the smile from showing. Yes she had told their son about Angel being a vampire, she just hadn’t used that word exactly. Connor was a very curious little boy and if he didn’t get answers one way, he would get them another.<\/p>\n
He’d found her junior high year book, read all the little inscriptions she’d and then proceeded to bombard her with questions until he’d been threatened with extra chores.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou told him?\u201d Angel stared unblinking at the mother of his son, wondering what she had told the five year old exactly.<\/p>\n
\u201cSort of\u201d the brunette smiled sheepishly as she nibbled her lower lip. All kinds of questions were written on the vampire’s expression, she knew he wanted to know about his son’s condition, her pregnancy and most probably why she never told him about the baby. Those were the questions that needed the answers Cordelia didn’t want Connor to hear. \u201cAsk Connor\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat did Cor, uh, your mom tell you about me, Connor?\u201d Angel wanted to call him son and be called dad in return but figured it was too early, too soon in their relationship for that. He didn’t doubt for one second that it would take the intensity to an unbearable level. Discounting the already heavy atmosphere, the vampire liked referring to Cordelia as his son’s mom, it did more than give a glimmer of hope in the way he might be a real part of their life.<\/p>\n
The five year old became solemn and looked at his father with a very serious expression as if to prepare himself for more porkies. \u201cMom said you were old, really, really old, like ancient old and that you were real special, like me. She said that you were really strong and could lift cars and everything like Superman\u201d he nodded gravely. \u201cAnd she said that…\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cConnor, I think he gets the picture, baby\u201d at the expression on the vampire’s face, Cordelia figured she should step in and allow him a moment to catch his thoughts. \u201cHave you finished your chocolate? If so then you can go wash your hands, face and brush your teeth\u201d she counted down from five.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo\u201d Connor tilted his mug, showing the remaining chocolate that barely covered the bottom of the mug, \u201cI got lots left see? Can I stay up late tonight please mom? I’ve been extra, extra good and dad’s here and he hasn’t seen all my pictures yet and he hasn’t seen my room. Please?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel wasn’t sure if he should say Connor could stay up, not wanting to undermine Cordelia’s authority with his son but he wanted to spend as much time as he could with the little boy before he had to go. There was so much to catch up on, too much to catch up on in a few short hours. He knew there was always tomorrow but after five years of not knowing what he had, tomorrow seemed like an eternity away and he didn’t want to wait.<\/p>\n
Both father and son regarded Cordelia, equally deep, brown eyes provided double the pleading and begging for Connor to be allowed to stay up later than usual. She frowned under the very heavy weight of the puppy dog expressions from both of them. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to ask Angel to stay, it obviously wasn’t going to work in her favour.<\/p>\n
Surely, there was a way to get her son settled while giving them both the time they wanted with each other. Thinking deeply, the brunette came up with a plan that required self-congratulations and she gave herself a mental pat on the back. \u201cWhy don’t you go wash up and bring a pillow and quilt off your bed? That way, you can get settled in the living room and stay up late at the same time?\u201d<\/p>\n
The secret to being a good parent was learning the art of compromise. This way, Cordelia could get Connor settled enough to make him tired, kept him happy and giving Angel more time with the son he’d never known he had. Killing three birds with one stone had to be a personal record.<\/p>\n
\u201cLike camping out only in the living room?\u201d Connor questioned his mom while sending a glance at his father. \u201cCan dad stay and watch a Disney or a monster movie with us?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel once again looked at the mother of his son for the answer; he was starting to feel like he was intruding on their family time, something he didn’t want to do.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf it’s okay with Angel, why don’t you ask him?\u201d Cordelia encouraged, keeping tight hold on the hope bubbling up in her stomach. She wanted Angel to stay, but not just for the night, they had so many things to talk about that didn’t revolve around the five year old. Hazel orbs brimming with held back hope and a sparkle of happiness locked onto the vampire’s warm brown gaze that shared the emotion.<\/p>\n
\u201cDad, are you gonna camp out? It’ll be loads of fun, I promise to be super good and do what I’m told.\u201d Connor didn’t seem to have any problems in acknowledging his connection to Angel. \u201cMom can make us a midnight snack\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo mom can’t\u201d Cordelia stopped that train of thought right there and then with a simple but firm sentence. \u201cWhat mom is going to do is turn off the hallway light so you can go wash up. While you take your big ears with you, mom is going to have a few minutes alone with Angel\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo sandwiches?\u201d the five year old asked hopefully, \u201cNot even one little banana sandwich?\u201d he loved those.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, you’ve already had your supper, hot chocolate and not to mention half the ice cream I told you to wait for\u201d the brunette gave her son a knowing look and he instantly stopped asking for things he knew he wouldn’t get. Folding her arms over her chest, Cordelia shared a look with Angel who had caught on to Connor’s little game where food was concerned.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou have a big appetite huh?\u201d the vampire asked with a tiny flicker of a smile, \u201cWhere does it all go?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou’ve heard of bottomless pits haven’t you?\u201d Cordelia remarked dryly, \u201cThere’s a Connor-shaped one right in front of you.\u201d A deep sigh was exhaled and she rolled her shoulders, \u201cWell, I’ll let you guys have a little alone time while I go clean up and turn off the light. Make sure you are a good boy for your dad, Connor, or there’ll be no trip out tomorrow night\u201d<\/p>\n
Warning firmly in place and satisfied with the promising nod from her son, the brunette hurried out of the kitchen and her footsteps was heard bounding up the stairs.<\/p>\n
Angel returned his gaze to the five year old child waiting for him to say something to break the silence. \u201cSo you’re going on a trip out tomorrow night, you going anywhere nice?\u201d he had to start somewhere right? What better way than to find out where his son was going and what he liked to do.<\/p>\n
Connor nodded happily, \u201cMom said we’ll go find a park that has no street lights or lamps so I can play for a little while. Not for long though because Sunnypale is special so mom says. Why are you special? Does the light hurt you like it does me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe sunshine does and it’s Sunnydale not Sunnypale\u201d the vampire remarked quietly and corrected the small mistake. He wasn’t exactly sure how he felt about his son’s condition when he hardly knew anything about it. It was called photosensitivity apparently and people who had it couldn’t be in direct light of any kind, not even candle light.<\/p>\n
What kind of life must his son have?<\/p>\n
He was at fault, Angel realized with a crushing wave of lead, because of his vampirism his son couldn’t have the normal life a kid his age should have. Did he have any friends his own age or was Cordelia literally all he had? Was Connor all Cordelia had? The thoughtful questions came thick and fast, causing the vampire’s chest to ache with a dull ache for them both.<\/p>\n
If only they had never left Sunnydale all those years ago, if only he hadn’t killed Jenny Calendar and her trust in him, if only he’d begged her to come back that night. There were too many regrets, Angel decided, too many ‘if only’s’ for his liking, now they were back in Sunnydale he could take care of his son and Cordelia if she would give him a chance to make things right.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can’t even be in candle light\u201d the way Connor spoke it was as if Angel didn’t have any reason to complain about the sunshine being his only problem. \u201cYou never said if you were gonna camp out here. It could be like a sleepover and we could sneak some sweets while mom’s asleep\u201d the child lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper that made the vampire’s smile that little bit bigger.<\/p>\n
\u201cI doubt your mom would like that very much, we’d both get told off I think\u201d Angel replied in the same whispered tone. \u201cI don’t know about you but she scares me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Connor’s big brown eyes went huge when his dad said that mom scared him, \u201cBut mom said you were real special and you were scary when you wanted to be. If she scares you then she must be the real scary thing, right?\u201d Cordelia had always told him stories about his dad, making him out to be a real hero that scared people who did very bad things. \u201cWow!\u201d he’d have to remember not to make mom angry in the future.<\/p>\n
Angel wondered what Cordelia had told the little boy exactly, when Connor went to wash up he’d have a chance to get a few questions answered before his son came back. \u201cI’d like very much to camp out\u201d he finally responded to the boy’s original subject. \u201cYou can show me all your drawings and your room if you want\u201d he didn’t to lose out on anything else concerning his son.<\/p>\n
It would take time to build up a paternal bond with him, the vampire knew, but the one thing he had enough of was time and he wanted that time to be spent on his son and Cordelia. Already, the young woman had become his main focus, in a very different way to Connor of course.<\/p>\n
She was just as beautiful as he remembered, if not more so. Being a mother seemed to have softened her hard edges and brought out the exquisite woman he had known five years ago. No-one else had known Cordelia Chase like he did, no-one else could read her like an open book and no-one else had worshipped her like he had.<\/p>\n
The switching off of the hallway light announced the brunette’s return and Angel’s anticipating gaze watched the entrance to the kitchen, waiting impatiently for her to come back in. \u201cConnor, go wash up, baby while dad and I talk\u201d Cordelia popped a kiss on her son’s head as she ushered the five year old out of the chair.<\/p>\n
\u201cAw mom\u201d he grumbled with a scowl, \u201cMy hands are clean, see?\u201d<\/p>\n
Even Angel raised his eyebrows at the blatant fib that fell from his son’s mouth and he spoke up. \u201cShow me your palms\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia forced to keep the threatening smile off her face at the vampire’s sudden paternal attitude towards the little boy, asking to see the palms of his hands. Connor shuffled on his feet as he peered towards his mom for assistance in the matter of his cleanliness. \u201cMom see?\u201d he knew it was dark and his mom wouldn’t be able to see as good as he could.<\/p>\n
\u201cGo wash your hands, Connor\u201d Angel nodded at the grateful expression thrown his way from the brunette at his commanding tone. \u201cYou haven’t washed them since you were playing outside and I’m not letting you have dirty hands and face, now go.\u201d He watched as the boy’s shoulders slumped in defeat and the big brown eyes grow wide with his sulking. Immediately, the vampire felt horrible for being so commanding with him.<\/p>\n
\u201cGive in and he’ll walk all over you\u201d came the advice from someone the vampire figured knew Connor well enough to have earned the right to give advice on the five year olds’ behaviour. \u201cDo as your father tells you baby, or no trip out tomorrow night\u201d<\/p>\n
The loud sigh told his parents just what he thought of the blackmail bestowed on him. Petulantly pouting, the five year old stomped off up the stairs and went to do as he was told, leaving Cordelia and Angel alone.<\/p>\n
As soon as the little boy was out of earshot, Cordelia braced herself for the coming onslaught of Angel’s resentment, anger and questions about everything. This was a scenario that she’d been preparing for since the vampire had come face to face with his son in the Magic Shop. She just wished she’d had more to work out what she was going to say to him.<\/p>\n
\u201cGet on with it, Angel\u201d the brunette stated quietly as she turned her back to him, lightly rubbing the counter surface with circles made by her fingertips in the hope the movements would keep her calm. \u201cJust keep your voice down, I don’t want Connor to hear any yelling especially from you\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel got out of his chair, went and stood behind the brunette and made her look at him so she could see the hurt, confusion and the beginnings of forgiveness in the depths of the warm, timbre gaze. \u201cI wouldn’t shout or yell at you anyway, Cordelia. Yelling and arguing won’t change things and it won’t turn back time so why waste breath?\u201d<\/p>\n
The brunette did everything she could to keep from melting into his arms at the sound of the familiar husky voice that had haunted her dreams, nights and days for the last five years. She wished he’d been there to see Connor when he had been a baby, wished he’d been there to help her through the pregnancy and wished he’d been there simply to love her.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can’t apologize for something I’m not sorry for\u201d leaving Sunnydale back then had been a necessity.<\/p>\n
He didn’t miss the relevance of those words; they were the same ones he’s said to her when Cordelia had bravely approached the subject of Jenny Calendar’s murder. Forgiveness, Angel knew, was hard to ask for and even harder to give but it was easy to feel when you understood the circumstances. \u201cYou didn’t tell anyone, did you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia shook her head, still not looking at him fully. \u201cWhat was I supposed to say Angel? Who was I supposed to say the father was? Hey guys, I slept with the vampire you all know as Angelus and got pregnant?\u201d she asked with a bitter smile.<\/p>\n
\u201cOr maybe I could have said hey guys, I slept with a couple of jocks and don’t know which one the father is?\u201d her gaze now searched his for answers to how she could have explained it back then.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow about ‘Angel, I’m pregnant?’\u201c Angel supplied, traces of understandable anger filled his throaty voice as he stared down at her. \u201cWhy didn’t you tell me? You knew you had nothing to fear from me\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot you, just everyone else\u201d<\/p>\n
The vampire couldn’t argue with her statement and she carried on speaking. \u201cI couldn’t have been happy being around you with a baby after…\u201d Cordelia stopped her words, seeing no need to say the name that no doubt haunted him. \u201cI thought what I did was for my baby’s best interests, me or you never came into the equation\u201d<\/p>\n
Most of her words were true, except of the fact that Angel did come into the equation.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat would you have done, what would your reaction have been if I’d told you?\u201d Cordelia paused to take in a deep breath as she prepared to admit the one fear she’d had back then. \u201cYou would have accused me of being with someone else, you would have thought I was lying and you would have killed me for it\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot killed you\u201d even as he said the words, Angel doubted them. He hadn’t had his soul when the brunette had made the discovery, Angelus may be him without a conscience but he was very different. Angelus said things he thought but would never say, do the things he wanted but would never do and he just may have killed Cordelia at the thought of her with another male.<\/p>\n
Off her knowing expression, the vampire knew he doubted his own words and he was reminded of just how well the young woman read him. \u201cI would have known you hadn’t slept with someone else, I would have been able to scent it. I would have felt it\u201d Angel laid one of her fears to rest, the other fear he couldn’t. \u201cYou would have been taken care of\u201d that something he was a hundred percent certain of.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs that before or after the accusations and death threats?\u201d Cordelia asked, the hazel shining with the harsh truth. \u201cI wanted to tell you, didn’t want to leave but the not knowing of what to do and the feeling of having no choice…\u201d she shrugged as the words drifted off. There was no use crying over spilt milk, what’s done is done there’s nothing you can do to change it.<\/p>\n
Angel understood the confusion that must have wrapped around her like a thick blanket, he understood because the confusion was enveloping him right now. There was a time and a place for them to get their personal issues out and the first night with his son wasn’t it. Cordelia was right, it wasn’t about him or her or anyone else, the only thing that mattered now was Connor.<\/p>\n
His relationship with Cordelia would be next once he got to know his son and had a chance to be a real father. Thinking about the little boy, Angel easily counted the years between now and the last time he saw the brunette. \u201cHe’s five?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFive\u201d Cordelia confirmed, relieved at the change in conversation between them \u201cSix on the 18th of June\u201d she wondered if he could figure out the night of conception. \u201cHe arrived right on time Angel, he was so small\u201d<\/p>\n
The flicker of a wistful smile told her he got it.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wish I could have been there\u201d Angel kept the emotion out of his voice at the thought of missing such an important occasion like the birth of his only child. \u201cTell me everything, Cordelia. Don’t keep anything else to do with Connor from me\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere are pictures of when I was pregnant with him but I haven’t unpacked everything yet and the removal van isn’t due until Thursday afternoon so I can’t show you yet\u201d she explained apologetically then her face dropped a little. \u201cYou can’t have a picture of Connor growing up, the flash will hurt him. The only pictures I have were the ones taken before his condition fully developed\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel felt his heart waver at the thought of the only photographs were of Connor when he was just a baby, he was hoping to be able to at least see pictures of his son’s life. \u201cHis condition\u201d he approached gently and winced at the little piece of heart break that washed over the brunette’s features. \u201cIs it because I’m a vampire?\u201d it had to be.<\/p>\n
Cordelia shook her head, sending the tied back curls bouncing around her shoulders \u201cNo\u201d she stated firmly. \u201cPhotosensitivity isn’t anything to do with the parents so don’t blame yourself.\u201d She changed the subject, not wanting a deep discussion when Connor wasn’t going to be long upstairs.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe’s really smart Angel\u201d she beamed in motherly pride, \u201cHe can read almost as well as a kid twice his age\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe can’t go to school, can he?\u201d Angel commented rather than questioned. \u201cDo you have a home tutor or do you teach him yourself?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can’t afford a home tutor so I teach what I can you know, like reading and writing\u201d the brunette explained. \u201cSince I didn’t graduate from high school there’s only so much I can do\u201d<\/p>\n
She’d given up her entire life to care for Connor that much was obvious to him. He couldn’t have asked for a better or more caring woman to have a child with and Angel swore that Cordelia Chase wouldn’t be alone in raising his son anymore. \u201cI can help with teaching him stuff\u2026 That is if you’ll let me\u201d he trod these waters carefully, not sure if she would want him that deeply involved in Connor’s life.<\/p>\n
He would respect her wishes; after all she had been the one to carry the baby to term and care for him all his young life.<\/p>\n
Cordelia nodded, \u201cThat would be really great, you know, you’re old and you obviously know more stuff than me so your help would be a big help. Thank you, Angel\u201d the gratitude in her voice was so sincere, making the vampire feel like his help was wanted, not just needed. \u201cMaybe you could…\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don’t want to be ‘help’\u201c the statement quickly cut her off \u201cI want to be in my son’s life Cordelia\u201d Angel’s voice was firm and steadfast. \u201cI don’t want to be one of those fathers who only see their children on weekends or when it suits them. I want to be a part of his raising, I don’t want to miss out anymore of his life\u201d the plea in his tone wasn’t missed by the brunette. The vampire watched her facial expressions go from uncertainty to closed-off and then finally to relief.<\/p>\n
\u201cConnor would love that\u201d a soft smile tilted her lips upwards \u201cI know I would\u2026 You being a part of Connor’s life a-as a father\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel didn’t want her to let him be that to his son if she was going to run away again. \u201cI won’t let you run again, Cordelia.\u201d This time, there would be no reason for her to leave, she had to see this was where she and his son belonged. With people who might be able to help, even if it was in a small way.<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn’t want to run in the first place, I just didn’t know what to do\u201d Cordelia peered up at him, knowing he remembered that night as well as she did, probably more so. \u201cYou sent me away, let me go. I didn’t want to go but I wasn’t going to beg\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel respectfully listened to the brunette as she talked about his demon’s one regret, the one mistake his soulless self knew he’d made before he actually did it. \u201cYou never looked back Cordelia, I was waiting for you to come back. But you didn’t and it was good that you were strong enough to leave\u201d before I sucked Sunnydale, the world and you into hell.<\/i><\/p>\n
He couldn’t bring himself to tell her what he’d went on to do after she’d walked away. He wouldn’t be able to see those hazel orbs once again full of despair.<\/p>\n
The young mother nodded as though she understood what Angel was telling her, she knew Angelus well enough to know he was capable of doing almost anything up to and including starting a World War if he was angry enough. \u201cI miss…\u201d<\/p>\n
Who did she miss? Angel or Angelus? Were there any real differences between them?<\/p>\n
Tension so thick it could almost be seen weaving around them, filling the air with the first hint of male and female arousal as their memories of heated nights and lazy days coincided. Standing so close to her while her body reacted to his proximity had Angel resisting the urge to dominate like he had done so many times in the past.<\/p>\n
He had never needed to touch or taste her before she got wet; like now Angel knew by the sudden, sharp scent of spice emanating from her body just how hot Cordelia would be right then. Her lips were parted and dry as breathing began to deepen, making her mouth parched and causing her tongue to wet those lips of hers. The hazel orbs were melting, the flashing irises drawing him and making him drown in the heating gaze.<\/p>\n
\u201cA-are you staying tonight?\u201d voice was thick with arousal and hope as she asked timidly; not wanting to push the vampire too hard as it was all still new to him. If he stayed, then they could start working through it all. \u201cI understand if it’s too much too soon…\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt’s too little too late, Cordelia\u201d Angel’s own voice was throaty and husky. \u201cI’ve missed out on so much with you and Connor. I don’t want to miss anything else.\u201d<\/p>\n
The hope that glimmered in her doe eyes were reflected in the vampire’s hypnotizing dark gaze, \u201cSo you’re staying tonight? For the sleepover?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAw you’re not gonna kiss her are you?\u201d a disgusted, little voice piped up from the entrance to the kitchen, making both parents jump apart guiltily and glare at Connor who had appeared in the entrance to the kitchen.<\/p>\n
*****<\/p>\n
Angel felt the slight weight on his leg shift, rousing the lightly sleeping vampire into waking up. For a moment, he wasn’t quite sure where he was when his dark gaze scanned the small but cosy living room suspiciously. It didn’t take more than a split second for the memory to catch up with his sleeping brain and an awed expression swept across his features.<\/p>\n
Granted he hadn’t seen his reflection in some two hundred and fifty odd years, Angel swore he could himself in his son. Offhandedly he wondered if he’d looked just like Connor when he had been five years old. A little boy with black, floppy hair and dark eyes that glinted with wicked mischief; a little boy who’s face shone with happiness every time he smiled.<\/p>\n
There were so many characteristics of Cordelia in Connor that Angel had picked up on during the too short a time he’d spent with them. From the words he used in the long, strung together sentences to the facial expressions he pulled. Even his smile was pure Cordelia, full of childish innocence with a spark of little boy charm.<\/p>\n
Angel ran his free hand over the soft hair on his son’s fragile head, marvelling at how small the boy was compared to him. The thought brought a wistful sigh from his naturally pale lips as he wondered how small Connor had been at birth.<\/p>\n
He wondered so many things about not just the birth but the pregnancy too. Had it been an easy pregnancy? Or had Cordelia suffered without anyone to help her?<\/p>\n
How had Cordelia coped being 17, pregnant and alone? How had she gotten by? How had she survived? The brunette knew the dangers in the world, both the natural and the supernatural dangers. Those were things Angel fully intended to find out, even if he had to wait for her to tell him in her own time.<\/p>\n
He was proud of her, the events following the birth definitely hadn’t been easy on her and Angel could say without a doubt he was proud of Cordelia for raising him the way she did. Connor was well-mannered for his age, he was bright and didn’t seem to miss a thing that was going on around him. Not to mention, the little boy was highly protective of his mother.<\/p>\n
Every time Angel had gotten close to Cordelia, Connor had narrowed his eyes as though trying to figure out what his dad was up to. The glare on his son’s face had been enough to make the vampire realise not only did he have his mother’s personality traits but also some most definitely belonging to his father.<\/p>\n
Rolling his neck free of the muscle kinks, he peered down at Connor who was fast asleep with his small head resting on Angel’s thigh. The duvet almost covered the little boy from head-to-toe with only the sight of the head of black hair visible.<\/p>\n
Angel removed his arm that had been curled around his son and stretched as much as he could without waking the boy. Carefully as he could, the vampire replaced his thigh with his son’s pillow and slipped out from underneath his head.<\/p>\n
The chair Cordelia had curled up in was now vacated and though her scent was still weaving around him, it had faded a little causing irrational panic to take hold. Scanning through the arch that led to the hallway, Angel spotted the light beaming out from under the kitchen door and figured that was where the brunette would be.<\/p>\n
Walking quietly on his tip-toes across the carpet, he dodged the toys, crayons and colouring books laying in the place Connor had left them.<\/p>\n
A song quietly filtered through the silence of the early morning emanating from the room the mother of his son was probably taking a few minutes to herself. Casting a glance over his shoulder, subconsciously checking on Connor satisfied to see he was still asleep. Deciding that while the little boy was asleep, Angel would join Cordelia in the kitchen to talk about her and what happens now.<\/p>\n
Opening the door only as much as he needed to slide into the kitchen, Angel cleared his throat quietly so as not to startle the young woman sipping what smelled like hot chocolate. \u201cMind if I join you?\u201d he nudged his head towards one of the three empty seats around the small, square table in the middle of the room.<\/p>\n
\u201cSure\u201d Cordelia invited with a welcoming smile over the rim of her mug. \u201cYou looked peaceful, I didn’t want to wake you\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGlad you didn’t\u201d the vampire stated gratefully, it hadn’t been the most comfortable sleeping position but when his son had settled himself and almost immediately fell asleep, Angel didn’t have the heart to wake him. \u201cThat was probably the best night of my existence\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou should have taken my offer to use my bed with Connor\u201d the brunette shyly smiled, knowing exactly what he meant when he had stated that moving Connor would only disturb him. \u201cHe’s so sweet when he’s asleep isn’t he? Like a little angel… Pardon the pun. You want some coffee? The kettle’s just been boiled and I think there’s enough water left\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia went to get up to make some coffee when he stopped her, \u201cSit\u201d Angel told her, not thinking twice about using a firm tone with her. \u201cYou’ve done nothing but run around after Connor and me all night. I’ll make my own coffee\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIf I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to avoid my coffee\u201d the young mother narrowed her eyes dangerously much like Connor had done earlier and she received a small smile in return. A silence descended and an awkward atmosphere between the ex-lovers appeared, making them both visibly uncomfortable despite the earlier closeness.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat happens now Cordelia?\u201d Angel was the first to break the quiet.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, um\u201d Cordelia put her cup down, both hands absorbed the warmth to take the chill from the early morning feel. \u201cYou can see Connor whenever you want, you said you would help with his learning and stuff so we’ll work on that…\u201d<\/p>\n
Clearing his throat again, the vampire looked at the brunette across the table as her mind began to make arrangements for their son. \u201cWhat I meant was what happens now between us?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cToo soon, Angel. We both need a little while to get used to each other again\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was never soon enough between us and you know that as well as I do\u201d Angel refused to let her back away from him, not when he’d had a taste of the one thing he thought he could never have. \u201cYou loved me once Cordelia, with everything in you\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFive years ago\u201d she whispered, not daring to look at the vampire for fear he would see what she trying so hard not to do.<\/p>\n
Staring hard at the artistically carved features of the girl he’d made the mistake of letting go. He could see the fight warring on the dewy skin of her cheeks, trying so hard not to remember and at the same time trying so hard not to forget. \u201cIt maybe five years Cordelia, but you haven’t changed. Under the surface, you’re still the girl you were then\u201d you’re still my girl.<\/i><\/p>\n
Cordelia’s gaze snapped up to his, wondering how he could still think she was that stuck-up, self-obsessed girl she’d been back then. Hurt, disbelief and anger flashed within the hazel orbs as she stared at the vampire, daring him to slam another put down on the woman she’d become. \u201cHow…\u201d she couldn’t think of a way to put her words in a way that wouldn’t wake her son.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were so passionate Cordelia\u201d Angel’s husky male tone made her skin flush as her blood pressure slowly increased. \u201cI owned everything about you, your heart, your mind and your passion. I know that when you’re that involved, it takes more than time to change your heart and mind. So you are the same girl underneath it all\u201d<\/p>\n
The vampire watched as her plush mouth parted and formed a perfect ‘O’ that showed the surprise she felt at hearing his description. A shy smile accompanied the nibbling on her lower lip as Cordelia let his words sink into her brain. It was now almost 5 am she noticed with a quick glance at the wall clock, it was doubtful Connor would be getting up anytime soon considering he settled around 2 when the last movie finished.<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you ever… You couldn’t have, not completely I know, but maybe you loved me back a little\u201d she eventually spoke after a few seconds of silence. \u201cIt felt like you did\u201d Cordelia wondered if it bothered him that when she looked at him, she saw Angelus. It was something that couldn’t be helped, Angelus was the part of him she was used too not the whole package sitting there in front of her.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia, if you felt it then you know the answer\u201d Angel wondered if she didn’t want anything to happen because of his returned soul. He could take better care of her and his son with the soul intact. \u201cWhat about now? Do you feel anything?\u201d his body was already reacting to the spicy, female scent that was slowly beginning to surround him.<\/p>\n
The brunette tightly closed her legs, uselessly hoping that would help keep the arousal a secret. Cordelia felt he wanted her, but wasn’t sure if it was because of Connor. Maybe he felt obligated to be with her because she was the mother of his son. \u201cStop it Angel\u201d black diamonds swept over her, taking in the female response to his male one.<\/p>\n
From across the barricading table, Angel could see the way the cream material of her sweater curl around the shape of the hardening areolas, making his water with haunting taste of her on his tongue. Sometimes, Cordelia had tasted of strawberries and sometimes, she had tasted of vanilla; always natural and never the same. He wanted to know what flavour she would taste of now.<\/p>\n
The change in her scent was tangible in the air, she was softer and more gentle; it aroused the man still within him. Gone was the teenage air about her, gone was the perky cheerleader attitude she sometimes had, in place of all that was a woman who had given him a son. That didn’t change anything, Angel realized, it changed everything.<\/p>\n
Cordelia felt her body grow hot under the intense stare from the vampire’s study, she could feel the burn flushing her face turning her cheeks pink. No matter he had seen her wearing a lot less, Angel always made her feel naked. Even now, his caressing gaze seemed to be slowly removing her clothes.<\/p>\n
Angel leaned back in the chair, shifting his thighs apart to relieve some of the pressure in between. The material of his pants pulled tight around the erection responding to the feminine arousal and the male pleasure of seeing a good body. He resisted the urge to moan deeply, resisted letting her know the effect she had on him already.<\/p>\n
He could remember the way he would hold her back flush against his chest with one arm while his hand would keep her hips perfectly still against his. Angelus had teased himself as much as Cordelia, penetrating the hot velvet sheath with shallow, unsatisfying sex.<\/p>\n
The pressure and pleasure would build and build until feeling those hot muscles fist his cock tight and the need to feel her climax became undeniable. Angelus whispered words crude enough to make her blush when he replaced long, drawn out love making with hard fucking; enjoying the way her gentle moans turned into loud, short screams each penetration forced from her.<\/p>\n
Being with him again was like being on ecstasy, an addictive high that ran right through her body, making her light headed and susceptible to anything he would want to do too her. A small, barely noticeable moan escaped from her parched lips, making Angel all too aware Cordelia was effected just as much as him.<\/p>\n
\u201cGod Angel\u2026\u201d the words weren’t out of her mouth before Cordelia found herself pulled steadily to her feet and enveloped tightly in the security of his arms. The momentary shock quickly wore off and she responded with equal ferocity.<\/p>\n
His fingers fisted the material of her sweater, slipping one large hand under to soothe the heated skin with a cool touch. Angel drowned in the intoxicating scent of her, nuzzling the curls that now fell loosely around her slender shoulders and neck. The rasping of his roughened skin against the smooth surface of her back had Cordelia whimpering and moving closer to him, desperate to have him.<\/p>\n
\u201cGod I’ve missed you baby\u201d his breathless words floated across the skin of her neck, seconds later cool lips brushed over the delicate protective casing of her jugular. Blunt teeth bit down gently over the top of the original punctures before Angel twirled his tongue around the mark.<\/p>\n
Cordelia fumbled with the bottom buttons of his silk shirt and placed the palms of her hands on the solid, flexing muscles of his abdomen. Her nails lightly scored his marble skin, disturbing the flawless expanse with pale red scratches. His wet lips moved hotly to her mouth, covering the softer more pliant lips with his harder, demanding mouth.<\/p>\n
It had been so long since she’d tasted him, Cordelia reacted with a hellish passion that crushed his body to hers. Angel slid his tongue into the warm cavern, massaging, exploring and taking precedence over her. His lips manipulated the vanilla ones into a deeper, more satisfying kiss that rendered shocking physical reactions.<\/p>\n
Cordelia’s hands unbuttoned more of his shirt, allowing her to touch and feel every part of the vampire wrapped around her. His tongue simulated what they both wanted, dipping in and out of her mouth; tasting, devouring and savouring the hot breath that filled his lungs. Angel moved his hand down, the curve of ass teased his fingers as he used his grip to push her hard into him.<\/p>\n
\u201cUhh Angel!\u201d the brunette broke the kiss, moaning loudly when his erection became firmly cradled between her burning thighs. Angel used his body to turn Cordelia round, never breaking the contact and sat her hard on the table surface. She immediately parted her legs allowing him to slid his body close to hers.<\/p>\n
The vampire’s hands glided up the clothed body, feeling the searing heat burn his fingers through the material. \u201cTouch me\u201d Angel hissed his demand as his erect shaft moved deliciously over her hidden mound. Grabbing tight hold of the top of the sweater, he went to rip completely apart when she stopped him.<\/p>\n
Cordelia scraped her nails down his broad chest, bringing blood rushing to the surface and turning the marble complexion a pale shade of crimson. Her small hand slipped past the leather belt until the solid state of his excitement filled her palm. \u201cWant you\u201d she curled her hand round his erection, moving slowly giving Angel groan against her mouth.<\/p>\n
Angel fisted her top and tore it cleanly down the middle, exposing the delicious slope of her cleavage. The shape of the cream silky bra held her breasts together, accentuating the natural curves of her chest. His black gaze now rimmed with gold scanned the silk that was pulled so tightly the small contours of her hardening areolas were visible.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think\u201d Angel placed his hand in the valley of her breasts, hissing when the heat made his flesh sizzle. \u201cI think you’ll taste like vanilla\u201d Cordelia whimpered when he pushed the silk down, revealing her naked to his hungry gaze. Leaning down, the vampire encased a dusky pink bud in a hot kiss, swirling his cool around the responsive skin.<\/p>\n
Cordelia tightened her hold on his cock, moving in long smooth strokes that elicited warning growls that told her not to stop. Angel forced her to increase the pressure around his covered sex, praising her when she did as he asked. He continued to lave her breast with attention while using his fingers to tease the other little bud with stimulation a little on the rough side.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel we, uh, have to stop\u201d she breathed, \u201cOh God we have to stop\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo!\u201d Angel released her long enough to deny her right to say he could stop giving he pleasure. \u201cI need you Cordelia, you’ve given me a taste and I want more\u201d<\/p>\n
Despite her body screaming out for his touch, Cordelia breathlessly giggled and inwardly called herself a teenager. \u201cNot here, not now\u201d was all she could say before needing to gasp in more oxygen. \u201cConnor could walk in a-and not to assume we’re getting back together, but I don’t want this happening on a kitchen table\u201d<\/p>\n
As soon as the brunette mention his son’s name, the tide of desperate lust began to recede leaving Angel blinking in shock and awe of what they’d almost done with Connor in the next room. \u201cYou assume right Cordelia, you and my son are home now. You belong with me\u201d<\/p>\n
Picking up her ruined top from around her waist, Cordelia wrinkled her nose up at it before dropping it carelessly back down. \u201cI don’t suppose I could use your shirt, could I? If Connor wakes up, I don’t want him to see me like this\u201d<\/p>\n
The corners of his lips curled up until Angel felt the strange sensation of a smile as he looked down at her, seeing the rapidly fading arousal fade as thoughts of their son crept through the hazy fog. Shrugging off his already opened shirt, the vampire wrapped the black silk around over her naked shoulders and took the time to caress her breasts before the touching ceased altogether.<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you Angel\u201d Cordelia peered up at him through her eyelashes wantonly, seeing a quizzical expression join the smile on his face. \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNothing\u201d Angel shook his head, he wasn’t thinking much of anything really just wondering about everything. A few hours ago when he had been watching Connor and Cordelia in the back yard, he’d been so certain he would never be able to be a part of the life they’d made.<\/p>\n
He was just amazed at what a child and an amazing woman could change. Angel felt \u201cI feel complete, like I have something worth living for\u201d<\/p>\n
A true Cordelia Chase smile swept across her face as she heard his words. She knew just how Angel felt. \u201cA sofa isn’t a good place for a kid to sleep, you carry him and I’ll get his pillow and quilt\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel smiled again, he was going to tuck his son in and kiss him goodnight for the first time. \u201cThen you can show me your room where I can kiss you all night\u201d<\/p>\n