Chapter 13<\/b><\/p>\n
Cordelia stood at the curb stomping from one foot to another. She should be relieved, evil vampires dead everyone safe, but she wasn\u2019t she was angry. All those really old vampires had creeped her out, especially Dracula.<\/p>\n
The way she had responded to Angel\u2019s kisses and caresses had confused and freaked her. Spike\u2019s appearance and comments had annoyed her to no end. She was creeped, freaked, confused and annoyed and that made her angry.<\/p>\n
And now this. \u201cThe limo is gone. The LIMO is gone.\u201d She swung and glared at Angel.<\/p>\n
\u201cUh, I\u2019m sure Gunn or Spike will give us a ride.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI am NOT riding with that bleached blonde dead asshole. He ruined my dress.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, Gunn\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGreat. Right, ride in the back of a pick up truck, I think not. I HATE MY LIFE.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy, you don\u2019t mean that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course not. But it felt good.\u201d She sighed and just stared at Angel.<\/p>\n
\u201cUh, Cordy about\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel, I\u2019m tired, hungry and not in the best of moods. Talking about anything more substantial than food or sleep is not a good idea.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll call a cab.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Cordelia hadn\u2019t spoken since she said thank you. She had just got silently into the cab as soon as it pulled up. And now she was leaned up against the back passenger window staring out into the night.<\/p>\n
Angel couldn\u2019t gauge her mood. So, he also remained silent. The quiet in the cab was deafening.<\/p>\n
Suddenly, Cordelia swung around. \u201cKiss me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUH.\u201d Angel jerked back in surprise and confusion.<\/p>\n
\u201cKiss me, Angel. I need to know the difference. Do it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDifference?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe difference, Angel, between when you kiss and touch me 1) while possessed 2) during the vamp marky thing and 3) just kissing me. Do it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUm, Cordy.\u201d Angel blinked.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd don\u2019t you dare say you won\u2019t because it\u2019s horrible, kissing me is NOT horrible.\u201d Glaring.<\/p>\n
Angel moved to her, his hands cupping her face, his thumbs caresses her jaw line. \u201cOf course it isn\u2019t. It\u2019s\u2026\u201d Angel stared at the young woman trying to understand what was going on in her head. Cordelia was nervous, scared and she wanted him to kiss her. Angel couldn\u2019t figure it out. But he did want to kiss her.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust do it, do it now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen be quiet.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t kiss you if you keep talking.\u201d Angel leaned in quickly preventing anymore words from leaving her mouth, his tongue taking advantage of her parted lips to penetrate and explore, his hand sliding down to the small of her back to press her closer, the fingers of his other hand entangled in her hair.<\/p>\n
Cordelia\u2019s hands had nowhere to go except around the vampire\u2019s back. Her hips scooted shortening the distance between their bodies even more. Her arms tightened around the vampire as her hands caressed the width of Angel\u2019s back; her tongue met Angel\u2019s eagerly. A soft whimper vibrated in her throat. It was happening again. Cordelia\u2019s hands suddenly clutched at Angel\u2019s shoulders and shoved. Her head shot up as she moved away from the vampire, her eyes wide and staring.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow do you do this to me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo what?\u201d Angel blinked at Cordelia. Now what was going on? She wouldn\u2019t answer. She just kept staring. Cordelia\u2019s face was flushed, her heartbeat elevated, her breath expelling in small gasps, her scent was the same but more, it was vibrant, thick. Angel could taste it.<\/p>\n
He blinked. Cordelia was aroused\u2026.by him. It had to be him. Angel was the only other person there. Except for the cabdriver and he didn\u2019t count or at least Angel hoped not. He shot a glance at the cabdriver. The man was 50 if he was a day, fat and balding. Angel felt a little more confident. He turned back to Cordelia. She was speaking again.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou said you didn\u2019t know how to do the vamp mind thingy. Is it because you bit me? Or is it just some old expert experience? Do you even feel anything?\u201d<\/p>\n
Now she was making Angel mad. Why couldn\u2019t Cordelia just accept that she was attracted to him? Granted, Angel was still a little floored at the concept, but the evidence was there and he was more than willing to accept it. \u201cCordelia, shut up.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t you dare tell me to shut up. Answer me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy, if you were really my property, if I could do the mind thingy on you-you would shut up, but you didn\u2019t shut up did you? Do you ever shut up when I tell you to? no. As for feeling anything, I don\u2019t know, you tell me.\u201d He grabbed her hand and brought it directly to his obvious erection or at least now obvious to Cordelia.<\/p>\n
Cordelia yanked her hand back as if she was burned. Cordelia was beginning to feel trapped as Angel\u2019s body leaned over hers, not touching but encompassing all the space around her.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf I could make you do what I want, believe me your body would be under mine, I would be inside you filling you, my hands, my mouth would be touching, tasting slowly, so slowly, so not to miss an inch.\u201d His voice low and rough.<\/p>\n
Cordelia gulped, she felt the warmth in her belly solidified in her womb at Angel\u2019s words. She was getting lost in the intensity in his dark eyes. She couldn\u2019t get lost. \u201cWhy?\u201d she managed to squeak.<\/p>\n
Angel sat up. The intensity remained in his eyes. Cordelia scrunched up her face. She also saw a touch of humor in the dark orbs.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d Angel gave a small laugh. \u201cBecause you are beautiful, sexy as hell, more than that you are courageous, remarkable, loving, strong, loyal, frustrating, annoying and I\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHold on. I blanked out after sexy as hell, start over only you can skip the frustrating and annoying part.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Cordelia, I don\u2019t think I can. I\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
The small smile that had been forming on Cordelia\u2019s countenance halted. \u201cStop, Angel.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel, Buffy and Spike are having sex.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI said\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI heard what you said, I just have no idea why that is relevant to the here and now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel, obviously you didn\u2019t hear me, I said BUFFY and SPIKE are having sex. He didn\u2019t actually tell me, but it\u2019s true.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel, BUFFY AND SPIKE, sitting in a tree KISSING. Buffy and Spike, sex, two backed beast, horizontal mumbo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI doubt it was in a tree, Cordelia. But who knows?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia stared. “Why aren’t you mad?”<\/p>\n
Angel sighed. \u201cCordy, I’m not pleased that Buffy and Spike are together, especially since I don’t think that they are really together.”<\/p>\n
“Angel, I think…”<\/p>\n
“Cordy, Spike came here to talk to me about Buffy, to get advice. I’ll never be Dear Abby or Oprah and we’ve never been pals or buddies, even when I was Angelus, but he came here, which means he’s desperate. Spike’s a rarity, a soulless, evil, pain in the ass, romantic. He loves. And if he’s not obsessively happy right now, it’s because Buffy doesn’t love him back. And if she is having sex with him, then she’s not in a good place right now. Buffy’s the slayer, she’s not going to choose to have sex with a vampire that she doesn’t love, not unless something is really wrong. And that doesn’t please me. What?”<\/p>\n
“Nothing, it’s just that- that was the most words I’ve heard you ever say, it was almost deep. There were so many. It was very weird in an amazing way.” Cordelia scrunched up her brow again. “Don’t you want to go running to Sunnydale to find out what’s wrong with her?”<\/p>\n
“No. Spike will tell me. If I can help, I will. But I’m not leaving.” Angel paused. “Cordelia, could you ever fall in love with a vampire?”<\/p>\n
Cordelia turned away from the intensity that sprung back into Angel’s eyes and stared out the window of the car. She was in danger of getting lost again. She thought about it, trying to ignore Angel’s silent gaze. He was waiting. Cordelia sighed her eyes searching the darkness of the passing night for an answer that they both could live with.<\/p>\n
There was something comforting about denial and something very heartbreaking when a two-ton truck full of realization crushes that carefully honed denial.<\/p>\n
“I don’t know.” Cordelia started slowly, her forehead never leaving the glass plane. “Maybe. The vampire would have to have a soul. I don’t know why, I just think it would be important. He would have to be good, brave, strong- a champion, ” She smiled sadly at her reflection on the glass.<\/p>\n
“A dorky champion, who I trusted with my life.” Cordelia paused and turned to Angel. “I guess my answer is no. Because you see, that vampire doesn’t exist. Angel, you’re the closest thing, but you\u2019re not it, because if I were to fall in love with a vampire with a soul, he would have to love me as much as I love him. I couldn’t be the consolation prize because the love of his life was unavailable. And our love couldn’t have the power to destroy him, couldn’t be what makes him turn back into a soulless killer. I wouldn’t, couldn’t put him, my family, myself in that kind of danger. But, Angel, I can say that I will stay with YOU as long as I can, because I do love you. You’re my best friend.”<\/p>\n
Cordelia smiled. She could live with it. She studied Angel. The handsome vampire was smiling also. Good. Everything would be fine and back too normal. Just no more kissing. Cordelia couldn’t help it- she frowned.<\/p>\n
Angel had been nervous and fearful waiting for her answer. Cordelia’s ‘I don’t know’ and ‘maybe’ hadn’t completely alleviated either, but it was much more promising than the unequivocal no, he had half expected. Then she said she could fall in love with a vampire. One with a soul. Angel had a soul and better yet he was a dork. Cordelia called him one all the time. She could fall in love with him. Angel almost reached for her, but then he heard it, the unequivocal no.<\/p>\n
Cordelia said he wasn’t the vampire she could fall in love with. That wasn’t right, Angel was positive that he was the only ensouled dorky champion vampire in existence. Cordelia had continued to speak, his mind had to catch up with her words. He was on track when she finished. Cordelia was in love with him or at least she would acknowledge it after he cleared up a couple of things for her.<\/p>\n
If Angel had known that not telling Cordelia that his soul was permanent would cause him to go through 5 minutes of excruciating torture, he would’ve told her, then maybe they would be kissing some more, instead of just looking at each other from the opposite sides of the back seat.<\/p>\n
“Cordy…” Angel was interrupted by the shout of the cabdriver to get out. Angel looked out the window; he hadn’t even realized that they had reached the hotel. He tried to think of his options. Killing the cabdriver wouldn’t do any good, Cordelia would get mad and they would be stuck in a car going nowhere.<\/p>\n
He could tell the driver to take them to Cordelia’s. That would work and he did have to get his car. Angel could talk to her there. But, then Wesley and Gunn would probably get anxious; they hadn’t been real pleased when they saw his mark on Cordelia. And then there was Spike; Angel really didn’t want the blonde vampire wandering around the hotel and Connor without Angel being there. Angel didn’t believe that Spike would necessarily be a danger, but Spike had a tendency to cause trouble just by being able to walk and talk.<\/p>\n
“Angel, come on, we can’t let Spike around Connor without one of us there. He’ll probably start smoking or something. Let’s go. Pay the man.”<\/p>\n
Angel nodded. His decision had been made for him.<\/p>\n
Chapter 14<\/b><\/p>\n
\u201cPeaches, it\u2019s about time, these idiots won\u2019t show me my room won\u2019t even let me up the stairs.\u201d Waving to Wesley and Gunn.<\/p>\n
Both men were standing between Spike and the staircase, their weapons still in hand. Angel noticed that Fred had somehow ended up sitting on the bottom of the stairs. She jumped up as soon as she saw Cordelia and Angel. \u201cCan I go into the kitchen now.\u201d She glared at Wesley and Gunn, her hands on her slim hips.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel, go check on Connor, then make up a room for Spike on the third floor the furthest one from Connor. You,\u201d grabbing at the blonde vampire. \u201cI want to talk to.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPeaches.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel shrugged and went up the stair.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m staying.\u201d \u201cI ain\u2019t leaving.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia shot a look at Wesley and Gunn. \u201cDid anyone tell you to? Hmm. You know where your rooms are. Geez. Come on.\u201d She pulled Spike into Wesley\u2019s office and slammed the door.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan the poof be even more whipped? Ow.\u201d His hand going to the spot on his head that Cordelia smacked.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel says that you\u2019re here to talk to him about Buffy. So talk. Cuz unless you tell me exactly what you are planning to say, you\u2019re not getting near him. I won\u2019t let you upset him.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can\u2019t keep me from him.\u201d Spike growled showing his game face.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t kid yourself, I tell Angel, really tell Angel to throw you out, you\u2019re gone. I won\u2019t ask him to stake you, just kick your blonde dead ass to the curb. But, you know what? If you piss me off enough, I\u2019ll stake you and he won\u2019t kick me out. So talk. And wipe that face off.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re just being a bitch because you know about the chip in my head.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRight. Spike can\u2019t hurt humans, I heard. But guess what? I not human, well I\u2019m not all human. So, if you want to try your vamp scare tactics go ahead. Come on, just try to hit me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou smell human.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEww, don\u2019t smell me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s not like I can help it, you reek of\u2026 the Poof and \u2026.So, what, Peaches got a kid and a permanent soul now. He got you all hot and bothered. Or, is it just that you can\u2019t give him the big happy. Wow, I guess I really did hit the nail on the head. I was joking.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia swung.<\/p>\n
\u201cStop hitting me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen watch your mouth. And put that cigarette away. You\u2019re not smoking in here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe kid\u2019s upstairs. Come on, let me smoke.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot in here.\u201d She grabbed his arm. \u201cThe garden.\u201d<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, what do you mean you aren\u2019t all human?\u201d Spike sat on the stone bench next Cordelia.<\/p>\n
Spike wasn\u2019t sure why he was putting up with the young woman. But it seemed if he was going to talk to Angel, he was going to have to go through the young woman. And Spike needed to talk to Angel, Buffy was driving him nuts. Angel was his last hope.<\/p>\n
Cordelia shrugged. \u201cPart demon. Don\u2019t know the type. Wesley\u2019s researching.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWith books.\u201d She smiled at Spike\u2019s look. \u201cI made a choice,\u201d answering seriously.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou chose to be part demon?\u201d Spike stared at the young woman. This was not the same cheerleader from Sunnydale.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou didn\u2019t see my other choices. Death or TV stardom.\u201d Cordelia shrugged again.<\/p>\n
\u201cRight. TV stardom is a really bad choice all that money and fame. I get it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo you don\u2019t, but it doesn\u2019t matter. I do.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re really okay with it.\u201d Buffy needed to take a lesson from this woman.<\/p>\n
\u201cSure, though honestly, I do still wake up some mornings checking for horns and a tail. It\u2019s the not knowing, you see. Go to bed looking like me; wake up with horns and green skin. A little unnerving. But Wesley doesn\u2019t think that will happen since it hasn\u2019t happened. Spike, why are you here? What do you expect Angel to do? If your sex life with Buffy is all screwed up what do think Angel can do to fix it? Why do you think he would fix it and not just kill you? You’re talking about Buffy. Buffy, you know, the love of his life, soul mates forever, the tragic undying love story of all time. Spike, I\u2019m serious, I don\u2019t want you upsetting him. He\u2019s been getting better.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBetter?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSmiling, he tells jokes, bad ones, but still they’re jokes, he wears clothes other than black, I won\u2019t let you go putting him back into brood mode.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUnfortunately, I think I do. Did Dracula really do the mind zap on Buffy? That I don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n
Spike shrugged. \u201cHe bit her. It almost worked, but she ended up coming to her senses and running him out of town.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia\u2019s eyes got big. \u201cEww.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI’m with you. That old vampire is a pain in the ass.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s what Angel says. You know, Buffy must be the only slayer in history that vampires are clamoring to boink rather than kill and she must be the only one that lets them.\u201d<\/p>\n
Spike smirked. \u201cI like you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia sighed. \u201cDon\u2019t, that was mean. I really don\u2019t hate Buffy, everyone thinks I do, but I don\u2019t. I know she\u2019s brave, courageous, superhero material, it just gets tiring sometimes to know that you\u2019ll always be second best, if that, when she\u2019s around. I\u2019d almost forgotten what it felt like. Spike, you may be having the best sex of your undead life with her but it will always be Angel. He will always be first with her, just like she will always be first with him. Get over it, being a consolation prize is not fun in the long run.\u201d Cordelia looked down at her hands as silence fell over the garden.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy, go upstairs. Connor needs you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia jumped up. \u201cIs something wrong? Angel, is Connor okay?\u201d Running to the vampire standing in the doorway of the garden.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, he\u2019s fine, he\u2019s just looking for someone to Blurslurp on. I won\u2019t do. So, that means you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia smiled brightly and ran into the lobby.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, are you going to kill me?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel went into the garden taking the seat that Cordelia had vacated. \u201cI gave you my conditions.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think I might\u2019ve of upset her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. I did that. Spike, I can\u2019t help you. And if it’s my blessing you came for I can\u2019t give that to you, either. All Buffy wants is a normal life, I couldn\u2019t give that to her and you sure and hell can\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s driving me crazy, she says she wants me, but it\u2019s wrong, I\u2019m evil, but then she comes back fucking the daylights out of me. I can\u2019t take it anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou are evil, it is wrong and what- are you losing your stamina?\u201d<\/p>\n
Spike growled.<\/p>\n
\u201cSpike, what\u2019s wrong with Buffy?\u201d Angel\u2019s tone changed to one of concern.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat? Something has to be wrong with her because she wants me. You the only vampire she can want?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFrom what I heard, she wanted Dracula for an enthralled minute. Cordy may be right, Buffy is the only slayer in history that boinks vampires rather than stake them.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJokes\u2026. you really aren\u2019t going to get violent over this are you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAbout Buffy and you, no. Touch anyone in the hotel, yes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t you mean the cheerleader?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy and Connor go without saying, the others I\u2019m reminding you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cChip,\u201d Spike pointed to his head. \u201cNo biting, allowed.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve confidence in you Spike, you can cause damage even without biting.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you, someone appreciates my full range of talents.\u201d Spike came back from his pacing and sat next to Angel.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ve really chosen the humans?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHaven\u2019t you? You\u2019re still in Sunnydale helping them. I\u2019ve got a soul, what\u2019s your excuse. Have you even tried to get rid of the chip?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. Not really.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen I would really be the monster she accuses me of being. I miss hunting and feeding.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, so do I.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, I can\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBugger.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSpike, Buffy doesn\u2019t want to love a vampire, I don\u2019t know if she ever can.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe loved you. What makes you so special?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe was sixteen; didn\u2019t know that I was a vampire at first, then she rationalized that it was okay because I had a soul. A fake vampire. It was never the same after Angelus, once she saw what I was capable of. Kind of brought the whole fake vampire myth crashing down around us. We said we still loved each other and we did, but it wasn\u2019t the same; the hesitation that she originally felt turned into distrust. Neither of us forgot what I was after that. We were in love for what, 3 years and in all that time, I could count on one hand how many times I drank in front of her- smiled, laughed- never. Does she keep blood in the refrigerator for you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe watcher did.\u201d Spike jerked off the stone bench and started pacing again.<\/p>\n
Angel shook his head. \u201cCordy spices mine, says it\u2019s boring. Keeps the refrigerator in her apartment stocked just in case I come over. Not only forgave me for majorly fucking up, but became even a better friend as a result. A friend, Spike. Is Buffy your friend, she wasn\u2019t mine. I loved her, she loved me, but we weren\u2019t friends.\u201d<\/p>\n
Spike stalled in his pacing. \u201cShe\u2019s told me stuff, stuff that she didn\u2019t tell the Scoobies- about her dying.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s definitely one up on me, she just told me she was fine, but she\u2019s not is she, Spike.\u201d<\/p>\n
Spike plopped back on the bench. \u201cShe said that she was in heaven or someplace peaceful, safe, happy, then she was ripped from it, put back on hell.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFuck.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s working at a hamburger joint trying to take care of the Nibblet, be all grown up, strong, but she\u2019s not happy. She\u2019s dying inside, she said that\u2019s why she was with me, just to feel something for a little while. She\u2019s forgotten what she is, she doesn\u2019t remember that she\u2019s strong, confident, beautiful, special, all she sees is\u2026the hamburger joint. I don\u2019t know how to fix it. That\u2019s why I\u2019m here. I want you to fix it. You can tell her who she is, you love her, she loves you, go tell her.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel stared at Spike. \u201cYou\u2019re truly an oddity, Spike. A vampire willing to give up something you need to possess and love. I\u2019ve done it, would do it again, did do it, luckily Groo was an idiot, but I did it, because I\u2019ve a soul, Angelus never would\u2019ve considered it. But you have. I\u2019ve changed my mind. If you need my blessing, I’ll give it to you. I don\u2019t know what good it will do you, but I give it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t ask for your blessing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know, but I won\u2019t do what you are asking me to, I won\u2019t because it would be a lie, a lie to Buffy, to me. We\u2019re over. We\u2019ve been over a long time ago. My life is here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou bastard, you said you loved her, Angelus was obsessed with her because you loved her, soul mates, even yourcheerleader said so.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI never said Buffy was my soul mate, everyone else said that and Cordy\u2026.Cordy is… I loved Buffy, ask me four even three years ago, I would\u2019ve said it was forever then I would\u2019ve gone to brood alone. But, now, when I hear Buffy\u2019s name, I think about her and I\u2019m just grateful that she loved me at all.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel looked back at the hotel. \u201cI thought it would be forever, but it wasn\u2019t. But this has to be forever, it has to be, I could leave Buffy, I could move on when I though she was dead, I don\u2019t think\u2026.\u201d Angel turned away and looked up at the stars. \u201cThey don\u2019t need us, Spike. We don\u2019t deserve them. They need normal. Sun.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cProblem is they aren\u2019t normal. The Cheerleader actually seems to have accepted it. Buffy, is still fighting it. Do you remember when we brought terror to the countryside? Those were the days. Could you ever imagine that we would be sitting here scared of two twenty-year-old mortals? It\u2019s fucked up, I tell you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel laughed. \u201cYes, it is. But, I wouldn\u2019t change it. Spike, love Buffy if you want and maybe it will be okay, stranger things have happened. But, if you push her or hurt her, I may have to get violent. I do still care very much about her. But, you know if it gives you any hope, she told you her pain, she trusted you. It\u2019s a start, it may not amount to much, but it is a start.\u201d Angel got up and headed for the hotel.<\/p>\n
He stopped and turned. \u201cSpike, how long can you stay?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMy calendar is clear, no pressing engagements.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cStay at least until we know what Dracula is up to.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHell, Peaches, you know what he\u2019ll be up to, he\u2019s going to go after the Cheerleader. It\u2019s payback time and she\u2019s hot.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe last time I fought him\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou didn\u2019t win. I\u2019ll stay. What the hell, it\u2019s not like the home hearth is being tended waiting my return.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you tell Buffy you were coming here?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHell no. What, you think I\u2019m crazy?\u201d<\/p>\n