{"id":7043,"date":"2015-08-01T22:53:29","date_gmt":"2015-08-01T21:53:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/?p=7043"},"modified":"2024-11-11T19:25:41","modified_gmt":"2024-11-11T19:25:41","slug":"to-be-alive-or-to-live-14-16","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/2015\/08\/01\/to-be-alive-or-to-live-14-16\/","title":{"rendered":"To be Alive or to Live.14-16"},"content":{"rendered":"

Chapter fourteen<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Cordelia took one last look at the room that she had been sleeping in. Never again, she swore. Never again, would she get all weepy and pathetic over Angel.<\/span><\/p>\n

Life went on, she lectured herself. And Angel was no longer a part of hers. Nor was his stupid hotel. Cordelia didn\u2019t care what Wesley had said about the stupid lease. If Angel Investigations\u2026\u2026\u2026.No, shit, she thought, they would have to think of another name, whatever, the new agency would not be housed in this mausoleum, she vowed.<\/span><\/p>\n

It finally settled into Cordelia\u2019s mind and heart, Angel had left LA and left her, but she was still there having visions, still living at the Power\u2019s whim. Fine, she grumbled. But, she wasn\u2019t going to do it on Angel\u2019s terms, not any longer.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now, she was the boss. Cordelia cringed. She needed Wesley and Gunn to stay with her. But would they? How much of what they did was loyalty to Angel or to the fight? She guessed she would find out. But, ultimately it wouldn\u2019t matter; she would like if they stayed, but she didn\u2019t need them she didn\u2019t need anyone\u2026\u2026\u2026except Groo.<\/span><\/p>\n

And she only needed him to fight the evil in her visions. That\u2019s all.<\/span><\/p>\n

Fred was waiting for her as she exited the room. \u201cCordy?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFine,\u201d Cordelia said firmly. \u201cFred, do me a favor.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOf course.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCall, Wesley, Gunn and Groo\u2026.ask them to come over as quickly as possible.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDid you have a vision?\u2019 Fred asked concernedly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, just my own epiphany. I\u2019m going to take a shower now. Fred get them all here, okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, of course.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

***<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sure it wasn\u2019t a vision?\u201d Wesley interrogated Fred for the fifth time.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShe said no, she went to take a shower.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhen? It\u2019s been an half hour. Are you sure she is still up there?\u2019 Gunn asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I heard water running then nothing, then more water?\u201d Fred shrugged.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s probably drowned.\u201d Gunn grumbled.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhere\u2019s the Princess? Groo exclaimed.<\/span><\/p>\n

Wesley cut back his retort, he had to agree with the Pylean warrior, Wesley was getting worried and irritated at the lack of Cordelia presence.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWow, the gang is all and accounted for, well minus a dark broody gorgeous character and adding a swirling hole replacement. Not so broody, not so oh my god hot, but still, he has his moments. So why is Cordycakes calling for a royal audience. You have to admit, the honeycakes has got the important voice down pat,\u201d Lorne said as he strode into the lobby.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShe called you,\u201d Wesley and Gunn cried at the same time.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHi,\u201d Cordelia interrupted as she came down the stairs. All eyes turned to her descent. She was wearing the same jeans that she had been wearing before, she had exchanged the body-hugging tank for a loose t-shirt, and she looked disheveled but also in command.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCordy?\u2019 Wesley moved towards the young woman.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cordelia held up her hand as she set her feet on the lobby\u2019s floor. \u201cI need to know some things\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Wesley started to open his mouth again.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cordelia raised her hand higher. \u201cI need to know\u2026Wesley, Gunn what are your plans? Now that Angel is no longer the warrior will you leave? Will you or won\u2019t you stay with me?\u201d she raised a regal brow.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWill you help Groo fight my visions? I know you did before, but was that a one-time deal or will you continue on with Angel Investigations\u2026\u201d she grimaced at her words.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCordelia,\u201d Wesley started.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI should tell you that if you do then it won\u2019t happen here. And the name of the agency will be changed. So, was your loyalty to Angel or to the fight\u2026\u2026\u2026.will you help us or leave.\u201d She stared waiting for their answer.<\/span><\/p>\n

Wesley took his glasses off and rubbed at his face. \u201cCordelia\u2026.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnswer me,\u201d Cordelia demanded, her voice and expression cold.<\/span><\/p>\n

Wesley winced at the change in the young woman. Gone was the joyful, lively girl; left in her place was a machine. \u201cOur\u2026\u201d Wesley stopped, he couldn\u2019t speak for Gunn, \u201cMy place is in the fight, with you, no matter where it is to take place. I will stay.\u201d Wesley couldn\u2019t leave Cordelia alone; she needed him, even if she wouldn\u2019t acknowledge it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBarbie, when have I ever dished a fight?” Gunn said immediately after, his tone expressing his feelings for the young woman that his words failed to.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cordelia just nodded at their show of care and loyalty to her. \u201cFine, Wolfram & Hart have started closing procedures on the place,\u201d she waved her hand around. \u201cWesley, you have been given carte blanche from Angel, so I expect you will just hand the hotel over to them. Don\u2019t tell the hell firm that Angel has left, that way we can probably get a better price.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCordelia, I can\u2019t\u201d exclaimed Wesley.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes, you can. I looked over the papers that Angel signed. He gave the hotel to you. If you want it, you can fight Wolfram & Hart for it, but I won’t be here. I hate this place\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSince when,\u201d Lorne piped up. He could figure out why he was there, but he couldn\u2019t figure out why the hottie seer wanted him there.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSince, it\u2019s not important. What\u2019s important is that the mission goes on, but I don\u2019t want to do it from here. And you,\u201d she pointed to the greener than green demon. \u201cWill either help Groo, like you helped Angel or not. That\u2019s your own deal. Just let us know if we have to find another tacky singing soul interpreting watering hole or whatever\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Lorne sighed, wishing that he could ignore all that was happening and just blast the young cold woman with a high note that would bring all of her reconstructed walls down, but the Powers wanted this farce played out.<\/span><\/p>\n

The demon just hoped that they knew what they were doing. Sometimes, he had doubts.<\/span><\/p>\n

Almost by rote, Lorne recited. \u201cI\u2019m here by the grace\u2026sh!\u201d he turned to Fred. \u201cIt was all part of the greater one\u2019s plan. I\u2019m their link as you are,\u201d he nodded to Cordelia. \u201cMy duty is to you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI thought it was to Angel.\u201d Wesley puzzled.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNah, the seer, but the big cute lug always seemed to need more\u2026guidance,\u201d Lorne shrugged. \u201cAfter all a unhappy warrior, an unhappy seer makes. So, now I guess for the time frame of this little saga, I will be sectioned off, trying to make him happy,\u201d Lorne winced as he looked at Groo.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell at least it will be easy, this buff warrior doesn\u2019t\u2019 suffer the same calamities that the other one did.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cVampirism?\u201d \u201cEternal broodom?\u201d \u201c Low self-esteem?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, intelligence,\u201d Lorne rolled his eyes at Wesley, Gunn and Fred.<\/span><\/p>\n

Groo knew that they were talking about him, he just didn\u2019t\u2019 understand. But the tone wasn\u2019t nice, so he puffed up and tried to look more menacing. \u201cI\u2019m yours to command,\u201d he stated to Cordelia. The Princess used to appreciate his adoration.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cUm,\u201d Wesley shook his head. \u201cWe need a office, any suggestions,\u201d he asked. \u201cCordelia, this\u2026.\u201d He motioned around. \u201cIs perfect.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo. I found us a place or rather David Nabbit did. He has a place. It\u2019s basically a storefront place, but with a great storage area. We can move the weapons and books there. No sewer access, but since we all aren\u2019t sun allergic it will be fine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve been busy,\u201d Lorne commented.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI made a few phone calls.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Chapter fifeteen<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Angel began to squirm as all of the eyes in the room were focused on him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow?\u201d Giles finally spoke.<\/span><\/p>\n

Angel hadn\u2019t realized until then how far apart he had drifted from Buffy\u2019s orbit. Buffy, as well as, the rest of the Sunnydale gang didn\u2019t know about the scroll and the prophecy.<\/span><\/p>\n

At the time that Wesley had translated the ancient writing it never occurred to Angel to tell Buffy. Why was that? Angel thought back, well for one, he had been so overwhelmed in his relief that Cordelia and Wesley were alive.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then there was the worry about finding a new office. Then, of course, there was Wolfram & Hart\u2019s increased effort in their mind games. It was just that he had been so preoccupied with all that had been going on.<\/span><\/p>\n

Furthermore, Wesley didn\u2019t know when much less even if, the prophecy would occur. There had been no reason to tell Buffy. A slight feeling of unease crept over him at that last justification. Something was nagging at him, something that he should acknowledge.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAngel,\u201d asked Buffy. Her voice filled with questions.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt was prophesized. And it happened.\u201d Angel said shortly, his mind back on the beautiful blonde. \u201cI\u2019m human for good,\u201d Angel said, his eyes centering on Buffy, trying to read her expression.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat prophecy?\u201d Xander asked suspiciously.<\/span><\/p>\n

Angel shot a look to the young man. \u201cOne that foretold of the vampire with a soul, gaining his redemption, and living as a human.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cRedemption? You? After all that your psychotic alter dead ego did? Who gets to make these decisions? Don\u2019t we get a vote? I mean as some of the few that experienced evil boy\u2019s attention getting antics, don\u2019t we deserve a little input on the whole forgiveness reward thing?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cXander,\u201d Buffy shushed at her complaining friend.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGiles, you agree with me, don\u2019t you. Can I mention….”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you can’t- now be quiet,\u201d Giles snapped, taking off his glasses and rubbing his forehead.<\/span><\/p>\n

Angel\u2019s glare was diverted from Xander as Spike circled around Angel, sniffing and staring. \u201cBloody human, wasn\u2019t the soul enough. What\u2019s next? Wings and a halo? Pain in my dead arse,\u201d the blonde vampire grumbled.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSpike,\u201d Buffy chastised. Spike glared and went back to the couch.<\/span><\/p>\n

Angel stared, it seems that he wasn\u2019t the only one that had been negligent in the flow of information from LA and Sunnydale. When had Spike been a non-chained, non-bound member of the Scooby Gang?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAngel, maybe we should talk, uh?\u2019 Buffy said hesitantly to the former vampire.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBuffy,\u201d Giles asked with reservation.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt will be okay,\u201d Buffy reassured her watcher.<\/span><\/p>\n

Angel stood back and quickly took in everyone in the room. Maybe it was left over vamp perception or maybe it was just that the emotions were so strong. Angel felt the tension in the room; the swirling sentiments in the room flowed from disbelief, distrust and to fear.<\/span><\/p>\n

An ache settled deep with in his gut. He hadn\u2019t been confronted with such emotions in so long. He felt that he was on the periphery, looking in. Angel was faced with the wall composed of the clique of those that orbited Buffy\u2019s sphere, protecting her, from everything even him, mostly him.<\/span><\/p>\n

Even when his and Buffy\u2019s love was at its least traumatic Angel was left on the outside.<\/span><\/p>\n

He had forgotten how much that made him feel like that his skin didn\u2019t fit, that he was somehow wrong. In LA he never felt that way, not since Cordelia came in and took over his life. Even in her anger, Cordelia accepted him in her inner circle, her very small selective circle.<\/span><\/p>\n

Till this day, Angel was not sure how he made it there, but he had, he knew that.<\/span><\/p>\n

And somehow Angel knew that everyone in the room that was judging and studying him would scoff at Cordelia\u2019s immediate acceptance of him.<\/span><\/p>\n

Angel stared at Buffy, trying to grasp the love that had so overpowered him for so long. The unexplored part of Angel\u2019s mind and heart flashed a great light pushing against his conscious begging for acknowledgement.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAngel?\u201d Buffy called again.<\/span><\/p>\n

Angel struggled then nodded. He couldn\u2019t, didn\u2019t want to be diverted from the lovely blonde in front of him. He squelched down the emerging insight and followed Buffy out the door.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Chapter sixteen<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCordelia, is this what you want?\u201d Wesley turned and looked around to the new office space.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cordelia raised her eyebrows. \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with it. It\u2019s new, clean and doesn\u2019t have a resident evil spirit. I say it\u2019s perfect.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d Wesley shrugged, placing the books in his hands onto the built-in bookcase.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cordelia ignored the raising of Wesley\u2019s eyebrows. She could, she wanted to do this. But Cordelia stumbled at her certainty. She doubted her own assurance. But she had to leave the Hyperion; to stay was just to be reminded of Angel.<\/span><\/p>\n

Wasn\u2019t it enough that she still had the visions? With them, with their pain Cordelia could have the part of her life, the only part where she felt that she had a purpose. It had been a purpose that had given Cordelia a place to belong. She had belonged with Angel.<\/span><\/p>\n

Oh, that was stupid, she shouted to herself.<\/span><\/p>\n

The purpose was real, the belonging wasn\u2019t. She was just being stupid. Cordelia had to concentrate on the purpose. Without it, she would crumble and fall flat on her face, stamping and pounding at the unfairness of it all.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhere do you what these,\u201d Fred asked timidly, holding up some more books.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere,\u201d Cordelia pointed to the bookcase with manufactured confidence. Cordelia swayed, then cringed, then cried out as a vision tore through her mind.<\/span><\/p>\n

Wesley beat Groo to the floor. He gathered the young woman into his arms.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDocks, again. The bloody one, oh\u2026ow \u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCordelia, just describe it\u2026\u201d Wesley urged.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2026\u2026\u2026Ow, I know it, you made me read about it,\u201d Cordelia hunched over grabbing her head. She gasped. \u201c Crude\u2026us\u2026 Blood\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Wesley shot up. \u201c A Cruentus? Was is shredding its victims?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Cordelia glanced up; one eye closed the other squinting. \u201cGee, I don\u2019t know, shred, blood, it sounds right\u2026docks\u2026please\u2026go\u2026\u201d her voice, trembling and getting weaker.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCome on,\u201d Wesley called to Gunn and Groo.<\/span><\/p>\n

Groo had been standing on the outskirts of the group. He didn\u2019t quite understand all that they were saying and he hadn\u2019t liked the way that the male cows had been ignoring him. He had thought it would be better when that beast masquerading as a cow had left, but it wasn\u2019t.<\/span><\/p>\n

Only the princess and her meek handmaiden had at least attempted to acknowledge him or his prowess.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPrincess?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGroo, go, please\u2026\u201d Cordelia rolled her eyes. If this was to be her life couldn\u2019t she have gotten a new warrior that wasn\u2019t so needy.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cordelia completely sectionalized, compartmentalized, and then ignored how much Angel had needed her and his friends.<\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter 17<\/a><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Chapter fourteen Cordelia took one last look at the room that she had been sleeping in. Never again, she swore. Never again, would…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7043","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-completed-fics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7043","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7043"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7043\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13517,"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7043\/revisions\/13517"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7043"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7043"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7043"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}