Part 32<\/b><\/p>\n
\u201cWhy do we have to go through the sewer? It\u2019s gross. We could\u2019ve just driven. I have my car.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe have to backtrack and make the scents as confusing as possible to give us more time. Unless the two show up together, which scenario is highly unlikely, they will think that the other has taken you. So, hopefully, they will chase each other down, if we\u2019re lucky they kill each other.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia grabbed at the vampire\u2019s arm. \u201cAngelus 1 can\u2019t be killed. He has to go back.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOut of all the possible time changes I\u2019ve heard, that is the only I could accept. No Angelus, then no killing, no terror, no danger to you\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo saving Buffy many times, no saving me from Russell Winters, no helpless saved, no Wesley to grow beyond a klutzy rogue demon, no helping Gunn, no saving Fred, Angel, there can be no killing of Angelus 1. He has to go back so he can become you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel stopped. \u201cI take it you’ve made this argument before- the Star Trek rule?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, it’s a Wonderful Life- Angel, you understood the importance of having Angelus live so you could be there for those you care about. OH wait, that doesn\u2019t count for you does it. How about this then- you kill Angelus 1, you won\u2019t be able to go back and waste your time trying to destroy a law firm that won\u2019t be destroyed or a whiney evil blonde that you won\u2019t save or be able to kill.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t\u2026\u201dAngel turned to walk away, only to swung around by Cordelia\u2019s yank.<\/p>\n
\u201cI do understand. Don\u2019t forget, I\u2019ve done this before, I\u2019ve lived through your colorless beige period and pointless obsession, I\u2019ve lived through your need to kill Angelus for what he is, what he did, what he represents. We\u2019ve done this. So, don\u2019t tell me I don\u2019t understand. And if you have to fight Angelus 1 for some reason, you WILL NOT kill him. I\u2019ll kill you before I let that happen. You \u2018little a\u2019 are as expendable as the B version. Angelus 1 and Angel are the only one\u2019s that aren\u2019t to me.\u201d She pushed off in front of him moving quickly, leaving Angel to stare.<\/p>\n
She stopped and kicked at the ground. \u201cWhich way?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel shook his head and went to her side. \u201cThat way.\u201d<\/p>\n
The couple traveled silently. Angel watched his feet move step by step, glancing at the determined beautiful woman. He would relish the opportunity to kill Angelus 1, but Cordelia was right. Russell Winters had been a danger unrelated to her connection to him, yet he had saved her. He couldn\u2019t take the chance that if he didn\u2019t someone else would<\/p>\n
. Angel sighed. He imagined that was the same realization that his future self came to. \u201cCan I at least kill Angelus 2 if the opportunity arises.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot if it\u2019s before Angelus 1 goes back. Afterwards sure, I think- Wesley’s the time guru, but afterwards, who cares, we just need to get home. Well, you to yours and me and Angel to ours.\u201d<\/p>\n
He wanted to touch her again, reaffirm that she would soon be waiting for him with such passion and surety. How long had it been? Three-four hours? He had been down in the basement beating any feelings down with his fist, cutting each need off with each thrust. Then there was Cordy. Not the one he could pretend to ignore because she was doing the same- her walls up causing as much of a barrier as his own.<\/p>\n
But, the one from his future he couldn\u2019t ignore because she loved him. She was open and sure about it. It gave him the hope that he had so efficiently squashed. Cordy could be the death of him. But Fred\u2019s chart had shown different presents, different futures, and the only one he really could accept is the one promised by the silent woman walking beside him.<\/p>\n
He knew then Angel B\u2019s temptation. The need and desire to be the vampire that went with the young woman to the future that had the promise of her love. How hard it would be to stand aside while a version of him took Cordelia, leaving him alone. Angel A that was the vampire that Cordelia loved, let claim her, it would be easy to hate that vampire. You to yours, and me and Angel to ours. \u201cYou and Angel A, not Angel.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia turned puzzled. \u201cUh.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFred made a chart. I\u2019m the Angel of the base time, the correct one. Any other version is just a result of a time change. Angel A, Angel B, all because things changed in my past, MY past. Not theirs. I AM Angel.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel A is \u2026\u201dCordelia paused, her brow wrinkling. She had been about to say you. But, was he? There had been a change. She stared again at the vampire. \u201cYou\u2019re Angel,\u201d stepping back, remembering Angel’s words and reactions when he first arrived. He hadn’t disputed her saying that he was only interested in Darla. He had been shocked, even appalled that she and Angel became lovers in the future. “Oh god,” she stepped back from the vampire.<\/p>\n
Angel tensed as a myriad of emotions flickered causing the hues in her hazel eyes to brighten and dim. Questions, realizations, doubts, fear all flashed under his gaze. Emotions that were driving Cordelia away from him, shaking her head, mouthing silently no over and over again. She backed into the wall, sliding to the ground deflating before his eyes.<\/p>\n
Angel didn\u2019t understand. He hadn\u2019t wanted that. He wasn\u2019t even sure what point he had been trying to make except to assert his originality, to be the vampire that Cordelia called Angel. Besides she said he was expendable.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy?\u201d Angel quickly went to the young woman, kneeling at her side trying to understand her reaction.<\/p>\n
She shook her head.<\/p>\n
“Cordelia, talk to me.” Angel demanded.<\/p>\n
Cordelia raised her eyes at his tone. Angel wasn’t sure that he liked the calmness that had descended over her or the blank look in her eyes. “What do these mean?” she pointed to her neck.<\/p>\n
Angel kneeled back on his heels. Cordy said she had understood that she and Angel A had talked about it. He sure and hell didn’t want to talk about it with her. He glanced back up into her eyes. Her stare had become demanding.<\/p>\n
He took a deep breath. \u201cThe marks are instinctual to a vampire, when done on a human the LEAST that it means is that the vampire wants that human, not dead or for food, but wants with enough desire or need to override the instinct to kill. The mark is a warning to other vampires not to touch. There are times when it means more than that- the human claimed is needed, wanted so much that the vampire will give up the warmth of the human body and it\u2019s fear to have that human as a vampire with them as a mate, making it more than the standard sire\/childe relationship.<\/p>\n
Cordelia maintained Angel’s gaze. “A soulless vampire’s instinct or an ensouled vampire’s instinct?”<\/p>\n
Angel considered the young woman, looking at the marks on her neck. “A vampire’s instinct.”<\/p>\n
Angel watched as his words traveled around Cordelia’s mind. He frowned when she seemed to come to an unvoiced conclusion. “Don’t we have somewhere to be.” she said calmly, standing.<\/p>\n
Angel was as confused at the absence of emotion in her sudden change of topic as he been at her prior reaction to his claim that he was ‘Angel’.<\/p>\n
“Cordy?”<\/p>\n
“Weren’t you the one in the hurry?”<\/p>\n
“We’re not going anywhere until you talk to me.”<\/p>\n
“Now, you want to share? Please, you’re ‘Angel’ you don’t share, don’t know how, can’t and you know what I don’t want to share with you. You’re beigey.”<\/p>\n
Angel jumped up pulling her back. “Why, because I’m not YOUR Angel.”<\/p>\n
Cordelia just stared. “I don’t have ANY Angel.”<\/p>\n
“You love…”<\/p>\n
“You…Angel A,” she scoffed. “So what, neither loves me. You explained it.”<\/p>\n
Angel stepped back stunned. “I explained what the marks mean, I wasn’t talking about love.”<\/p>\n
“Exactly.”<\/p>\n
“Exactly, what? There is no exactly.”<\/p>\n
“Yes there is. You explained it.”<\/p>\n
“Stop saying that. I didn’t.”<\/p>\n
“You said that it was a vampire’s instinct. That these,” she slapped her neck,” are done when a vampire ‘wants’ not loves a human.”<\/p>\n
“Right.”<\/p>\n
“There you go.”<\/p>\n
“Cordy, how do you get from that to…\u201d Angel was definitely missing pieces of her logic and there was a sinking feeling in his gut that he couldn’t wave her inner decision making process away as harmless unique Cordy logic.<\/p>\n
“That you or Angel A doesn\u2019t love me. You- that’s really easy. You ‘Angel’ never said it. Angel A only said that he loved me after Angelus marked me. Sure, he said he loved me before just didn’t tell me because of some stupid reason or another. But, like you said, he isn’t YOU because time was changed. He remembered marking me as Angelus and since marking is a VAMPIRE INSTINCT, and guess what soul or not he’s a VAMPIRE his memory was affected by what Angelus did. Sure he loves me,” she scoffed her belief at her statement,<\/p>\n
\u201cHe has a soul and just can’t tell me the truth that he\u2019s effected by some sort of lusty vampire thing and ‘wants’ me as a VAMPIRE’S FLOOSY. Probably make him all guilty and broody.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel wanted to laugh except Cordelia seriously believed the nonsense coming out of her mouth. “Cordelia, you aren’t a vampire’s floozy, whatever that is.”<\/p>\n
“Of course I am, Angelus, not you though, labeled me one for every Tom, Dick, Harry, Angelus or Angel out there. But don\u2019t worry it can be fixed.”<\/p>\n
“Fixed?”<\/p>\n
“When I get home I’ll just get Wesley to do the spell again, only this time sending he and Angel back before Angelus marks me. Then everything will fine. YOU will be you and you won’t have to deal with vampire lusty feelings.”<\/p>\n
Okay now Angel really wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all. \u201cAnd, what about you loving me?”<\/p>\n
“What about it?”<\/p>\n
“That will be fixed too?”<\/p>\n
“Don’t worry about it, I won’t bother you. You’ll never even know. I only told you after you told me. But now you won’t. Pooh, the way the time stuff works I’ll still be in denial believing that you still love Buffy, which will actually be true. Gee, sorry, I took your soul mate’s spot.”<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, you want to turn back time and what forget about loving each other.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia huffed and crossed her arms. \u201cI\u2019m not being a VAMPIRE\u2019S FLOOSY even for you. No way. Oh wait, not YOU. You would never want me or mark me. You said so. If I am so damn unattractive why did Angelus mark me in the first place? Oh wait, that wasn\u2019t you either.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen did I say that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI said \u2018you wish\u2019 and you said very quickly I might add that you didn\u2019t. Do you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSee.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d Angel shook his head at the young girl\u2019s twisting of his words and feelings.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, you do.\u201d She glared tapping her foot.<\/p>\n
\u201cNO.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSEE.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDAMN\u2019T Cordy, shut up.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia, I mean it shut up.\u201d<\/p>\n
He waited as she huffed and resumed tapping her foot. God, he was either going to kill her or kiss her. \u201cCordy, marking is an instinct of possession for a vampire. I\u2019ve never had felt that for anyone, vampire or human. I didn\u2019t as Angelus just because I didn\u2019t and I sure and hell haven\u2019t with a soul. I can\u2019t or so I thought, because it\u2019s an instinct right up there with killing humans for food. It doesn\u2019t sit well having a soul.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGreat, so now Angelus doesn\u2019t even want me. Maybe, you should go out there,\u201d she swung her hand widely in the air. \u201cAnd tell the mistaken idiots that are trying to kill me that YOU, THE ANGEL, doesn\u2019t want me. Hey, maybe they\u2019ll see the error of their ways, focus on your true love, and leave me alone.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel groaned, grinding his palms in his eyes. He was getting a migraine. \u201cAngelus does want you, for Christ sakes, he did mark you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell,\u201d she scoffed,\u201d he was wrong wasn\u2019t he.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia, there is no \u2018he\u2019 the Angelus that marked you was me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was not. You don\u2019t remember it because you didn\u2019t do it. You never wanted to as Angelus.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThis argument is insane. I can\u2019t believe that I have to convince that Angelus does want you. Do you want that? Do you want to have been claimed by Angelus?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course not.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen why\u2026\u201dAngel looked at her. \u201c Do you want to be claimed by me?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia just stared hugging her arms closer to her chest, refusing to answer.<\/p>\n
Angel sighed at the non-answer he perceived. How did he ever think he could give her up?<\/p>\n
He reached out and tugged at her arm. \u201cSit,\u201d he pulled as he dropped to the ground.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t want to.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTough, listen to me.\u201d He kept a firm grip on her arm. \u201cYou’re right, I don\u2019t remember marking you as Angelus. You weren\u2019t in the East End when I was. I never saw a beautiful, desirable, courageous, spirited, frustrating, pain in the ass brunette when I was there. Don\u2019t, I\u2019m talking,\u201d he clapped his hand over Cordelia\u2019s opening mouth and stared down her indignant glare.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can say that as Angelus I never wanted to mark anyone because I hadn\u2019t SEEN you. But, I was that Angelus up until I did see you, that\u2019s when everything changed. It wasn\u2019t spell or mystical, it was just me seeing you.\u201d Angel shook his head. He couldn\u2019t believe he was sitting in a sewer underneath Sunnydale trying to get Cordelia to understand that as Angelus he would\u2019ve wanted her. But he was beginning to understand all the scenario\u2019s Fred had been charting.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was the vision that\u2019s all. I had one and Angelus saw.\u201d Cordelia said in a small voice at Angel\u2019s pause.<\/p>\n
Angel considered it and rejected the explanation. \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was. That\u2019s why you turned Dru.\u201d Cordelia shook her head. \u201cIt\u2019s not even original. That\u2019s me always second in line with you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel really wished he had stayed in his basement and just waited for the interlopers from the future to have left. But, Angel was going to have to bite the bullet because if he didn\u2019t fix this and left his future self with a doubting Cordelia, his future self was going to hunt him down and kill him. Hell, he would.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia, Drusilla was nothing like you as a human, visions and hair color only. She was timid, sweet, innocent, child-like even in her trust.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can be sweet and what do you mean I not innocent.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy, you don\u2019t give your trust freely and sweet, well, you can be, are to the people you care about and love. But you are very selective. Dru wasn\u2019t. And you sure as\u00a0hell aren\u2019t timid. I turned Dru because I thought it would be fun to make such a sweet innocent creature evil. I drove her crazy as an added bit of fun. The demon is what makes Drusilla so dangerous and strong. You, though, have that strength already. Angelus would have recognized it. The vision may have been what brought my immediate attention to you and your beauty would\u2019ve kept it there. But, it was the spirit and courage and bravado that I\u2019m sure you showed that would\u2019ve made me want to mark you and\u2026. Christ, I was going to turn you. Of course. I was going to kill Darla.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUh.\u201d Cordelia said not more than a whisper.<\/p>\n
\u201cArrogant ass,\u201d Angel mumbled.<\/p>\n
\u201cWho?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel looked over. \u201cAngelus. Stupid idiot. I should’ve screwed the games and the claiming until after you were turned.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel, why are you saying \u2018I\u2019 it wasn\u2019t you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy, I may not have seen you in 1898 but I do know what my reaction would\u2019ve been, MY reaction not A, B, C, or Z\u2019s. At that time, I was more than bored. I\u2019d already played with the high society and the low society. But I didn\u2019t want to leave. I had to listen to Darla bitch, Dru whine, and Spike\u2019s asinine comments. But, I wasn\u2019t ready, finally one day I woke up an and realized it wasn\u2019t going to happen in London.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat wasn\u2019t going to happen?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know, anything, something that would relieve the repetitiveness of it all, something to change everything.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, I would’ve been boredom relief with visions.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGod, Yeah. I imagine you were a gorgeous intriguing relief from the mundane. Cordelia you weren’t just a beautiful brunette from 1898, you were you, gorgeous, strong and brave. Angelus saw all that, arrogant ass.\u201d He repeated.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cToo arrogant. Never would\u2019ve considered that you would get away. Fool. Should have just done it and then killed Darla. Actually, the other way around just to be on the safe side.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUh.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI would\u2019ve had to. Dru and Spike would\u2019ve been easy they would\u2019ve respected the mark but Darla wouldn\u2019t have. I would\u2019ve had to kill her. No wonder I was pissed.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cExcuse me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe dreams. The beautiful brunette that got away- you were so much more than that. That\u2019s why every bad scenario of the future ends up with you as a vampire. \u201c<\/p>\n
Angel,\u201d she tugged on his jacket. \u201cI\u2019m getting a little uncomfortable here with you getting all excited about me being a vampire.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel turned. \u201cSorry, I just now understand why every thing went to shit and handbag.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEveryone said I loved you. Fine, I loved you, I understood that, but that didn\u2019t explain why Angelus would want to turn you. Angelus never wanted to turn Buffy or mark her. But, now I understand.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI still don\u2019t and I don\u2019t like it, still feeling really uncomfortable here. And what do you mean, \u2018Fine, I loved you, I understood that\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat means,\u201d Angel lifted her chin. \u201cI\u2019ve never marked you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ve already said that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, but I want you to understand and listen. I\u2019ve never marked you. I\u2019ve never been influenced by vague memories and desires that lasted over a century. I\u2019ve only been influenced by friendship, care, and love, couched in a very desirable body. Cordy, I\u2019m an ass, probably from the looks of things, will always be. But, I am the vampire that you offered a fichus in lieu of a puppy too, I am the one that swore to protect, I am the one that knew without any doubt- ANY- that I needed you when you were cursed by Vocah, I am the one that you made smile, laugh and dance. I\u2019m the one that couldn\u2019t stop dreaming or drawing you in love just as I am the one that cut you out without a warning or thought.<\/p>\n
I can\u2019t tell you, the one that\u2019s still trying so hard, that is still loving me, that hates me, that I love her, that I want her, that her smile makes me trip and my heart skip against nature and possibility. I can\u2019t tell her that I had to cut her out of my life because she was my weakness. Though, I\u2019m beginning to see that\u2019s not really true, you are my strength, you always have been. I didn\u2019t need Angelus to mark you to know that I loved you. I just needed him to tell you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut the marks. You wouldn\u2019t have done it. You said so.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s true that I couldn\u2019t have imagined ever doing that to you. Not because I didn\u2019t love you or want you, but because that was too much of the demon. I wouldn\u2019t have\u2026Cordy, you make me feel that I can be alive that I can be human, marking is a step backwards and the idea of explaining to you what marking means that you are a possession my possession- would\u2019ve scared the shit out of me. I still can\u2019t believe that you didn\u2019t stake me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia pursed up her face. \u201cPlease, I humored you. Anyway, it worked both ways, you promised no more blondes or cheesy furies\u2026. oh yeah,\u201d she nodded at his widen eyes. \u201cI know about them\u2026. OOOOHHHH ANNNNGGGEEELLL, disgusting.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel gulped. \u201cAnd you still didn\u2019t stake me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia shrugged, then scrunched up her forehead. \u201cWas I wrong to make you mark me? You were just so mad, even after we made love. You may say that the marks don\u2019t matter but you were all \u2018grry\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel grimaced. He wished Cordelia would stop just blurting out that they had made love. It was causing havoc to his brain and urges that just couldn\u2019t be squelched. He stared in her frank-questioning gaze. God, she really did have the most bewitching eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d he said honestly. \u201cI wish it wasn\u2019t true, but the scent of Angelus embedded in your skin for always, even though it was mine, would\u2019ve triggered my aggression. The soul wouldn\u2019t have stopped it, just make me hate myself. Cordy, why?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia raised her eyes. \u201cWhy what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy did you do it? Why did you let me?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia cocked her head. \u201cI love you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel closed his eyes at the simple three-word answer that said it all. \u201cWhy?\u201d He whispered.<\/p>\n
Cordelia shrugged. \u201cI like dorks.\u201d She smiled. \u201cAngel, kiss me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes won. Angel was proud that he lasted the second to debate. He cupped her neck bringing her lips to his, kissing and tasting, wondering if it could possibly get better. He wished that time would stop and he could revel in the silk and warmth that opened for him. This was his. His body ached to carry it further. His fingers teased at the delicate skin of the collarbone. Just a little down, he would reach more wonders. The just a little bit more and he would learn the secrets.<\/p>\n
Cordelia kissed with no thought other than that Angel loved her. He had said so. The Angel that she had loved long before the other one had ever told her said so. She reached up scratching up at the soft hairs at his neck, leaning in further, tugging bringing Angel closer.<\/p>\n
Angel groaned as Cordelia scooted molding her softness into his chest. Her hands rubbing and digging into the leather on his back, trailing to the sides, searching automatically for skin, waves of her desire flavored the air, drawing him in deeper, making the need burn inside. He had to touch her flesh. Angel had to know the feel of the hidden skin.<\/p>\n
Fingers plucked at the cotton of her shirt, skimming at the delicate texture underneath. His lips traveled from mouth to cheek, kissing and tasting. The sensory overload that bombard Angel as his lips touched the marks brought him up in a shot, anger, regret, and finally relief flooded through his being.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel?\u201d Cordelia chewed on her bottom lip.<\/p>\n
Angel gaze went straight to the full lip. Just once more then he would stop. Angel jerked up. \u201cCordy, no.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re mad\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes. No. But, that\u2019s not why. Cordy, my soul isn\u2019t bound. I can\u2019t, won\u2019t go any further. I can\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia gulped, and then buried her head in her hands.<\/p>\n
Screw his soul if she was crying again. Angel leaned in to gather her in his arms. He pulled back. She was laughing.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWill we ever get through this time without us turning into Angelus and Cordelius.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel stared then chuckled. \u201cI think we just made it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia looked up at the vampire. \u201cSo, you\u2019re saying it\u2019s okay to love Angel A.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m saying you better love Angel A. That\u2019s me. According to Fred\u2019s chart I only stay Angel for a year at most until I get caught up in all the time crap and become Angel A. Please, give me something to look forward to.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy are you being so nice? You\u2019re supposed to be all beigey and hateful.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause I\u2019m here, my you and her anger are at home safe. You don\u2019t look at me with contempt in your eyes I see a future full of hope that\u2019s more powerful than revenge. I want that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia leaned in touching her lips against his. He moaned taking her back into his arms, hands going immediately back to the flesh he had previously discovered. It was too fucking amazing. He pushed her back. \u201cAngelus and Cordelius.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia blinked. \u201cIt was just a kiss.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel cocked his brow. \u201cCordy, in this future of ours, does it ever stop with just a kiss.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia furrowed her brow and then looked up. \u201cThere was the time I had a vision,\u201d she nodded. \u201cAnd then the time that Wesley came in his office, though we had gotten\u2026nevermind, that\u2019s was bit more than a kiss. People always keep walking in on us. \u201d She pouted and kept considering Angel\u2019s question. \u201c There was that brief problem with Dennis.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDennis was a problem?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia shrugged. \u201cHe didn\u2019t want me to move out, but he was okay once he moved in to the hotel, mostly.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDennis is in the hotel?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course, Geez, like I would leave him.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRight.\u201d He glanced back at the young woman. \u201cI love you,\u201d he graced a chaste kiss on her lips.<\/p>\n
Cordelia\u2019s tongue raced to capture the feeling left on her mouth. \u201cYou promise.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, I can love Angel A, free and clear. Angel?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry, Cordy, that\u2019s not a easy question, my mind says yes without any hesitation, my body, my instincts don\u2019t quite get the concept that patience will get me what I really want -a year is a long time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel, you are 250 years old. A year is nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201c249.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhatever.\u201d She smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey.\u201d Angel stood pulling her to her feet. \u201cI will get you in the future.\u201d The lightness of his tone didn\u2019t hide the demand for confirmation.<\/p>\n
\u201cGod, you are so needy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel nodded, his brown eyes begging for understanding.<\/p>\n
\u201cAww, that\u2019s not fair, you hadn\u2019t perfected that look until you\u2019ve groveled back.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt works?\u201d Angel smirked.<\/p>\n
\u201cAss.\u201d She cupped his face and kissed him lightly on the lips. \u201cBut, yeah, I love you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel smiled.<\/p>\n
Cordelia brushed his lips with her fingers. \u201cWow, beige guy, you can smile. You really are beautiful when you do that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel\u2019s lips quirked upwards some more. \u201cDo I do it a lot a year from now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cA lot may be an exaggeration but you do it more, even laugh sometimes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd that is because of you,\u201d He reached up to push a strain of hair behind her ear.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, it\u2019s because you\u2019ve learned that you can be happy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause of you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d Angel swung her around as she started to walk off. \u201cIn that body you made me laugh and smile and you\u2019re still doing it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMy body makes you laugh.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel rolled his eyes. \u201cNo, your body makes me drool. Cordy, you don\u2019t remember, in Sunnydale at the Bronze when you were trying to pick me up.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI never did that.\u201d She looked at the ceiling.<\/p>\n
\u201cSalty goodness.\u201d He taunted.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you remember that then it must be another time thing a mig.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy.\u201d Angel exclaimed as he pulled her along the dark tunnel of the sewer. \u201cYou won\u2019t take away my memory of the one and only time I laughed in the Bronze. That\u2019s mean.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI will NOT EVER admit that you laughed at me as I tried to pick you up.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat? No. I squirmed and looked for Buffy when you tried to pick me up. No, it was when she was late and you sat down and stopped trying to pick me up that you made me laugh.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI hadn\u2019t stopped, dumb ass.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh.\u2019 Angel shrugged. \u201cBut, it was funny, you were.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel, that just sounds offensive on its face.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. I mean I laughed.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI get that you laughed at me, you moron.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, no, you made me laugh.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel, you\u2019re pissing me off and not in a good way that ends up in great make-up sex.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel stopped. \u201cThat was low and you know it. You know damn well, I can\u2019t have sex with you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWho\u2019s laughing now?\u201d She arched an elegant brow<\/p>\n
\u201cAll I was trying to say was\u2026.Shit,\u201d he grabbed at Cordy pulling her towards him as a dark figure came out from the dimness of the shadows.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were trying to say shit\u2026that doesn\u2019t\u2026Oh,\u201d Cordelia stopped, staring at the vampire in front of them. \u201cOh.\u201d She looked. \u201cOh.\u201d She turned to the vampire that held her. \u201cYou swear.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe has a soul.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know that- he\u2019s wearing my favorite shirt. You bought it to impress me with your shopping skills.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re kidding.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNope.\u201d She beamed up at the vampire.<\/p>\n
Oh god. Gunn was right. He was whipped in the future. Angel groaned and then reluctantly pushed her away. \u201cGo.\u201d His groan and growl rolled into one long sigh.<\/p>\n
Cordelia ran straight into the other vampire\u2019s arm. She hugged the tense growling body, whispering that she loved him, until the body slowly relaxed.<\/p>\n
Cordelia leaned in letting the vampire sniff the marks. She jerked at the growl. \u201cYou can\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
She stood fast against the growl. \u201cAngel, we screwed up. This isn\u2019t the first time you came back for me. Him,\u201d she pointed to the other Angel. \u201cIs the third attempt to get it right. You can\u2019t mark this body or when we leave, Angelus of 1998 will see them. These,\u201d she said quickly,\u201d came with my soul, we can assume they will leave with it, but any actual mark making in this now will stay with this body and\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel growled at the rejection and the truth he heard. He nodded. \u201cWho is he?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDuh\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy.\u201d He narrowed his brow.<\/p>\n
\u201cFine. Beige guy. Gunn, Fred and me, went to get him and sent him here.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel turned to the other vampire, his glare unrelenting. \u201cWhy?\u201d Bringing Cordelia into his side possessively. He growled, his glare turning to Cordelia, as he scented arousal. His eyes glowed as he saw the swollen lips.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel, don\u2019t go grry on him. He\u2019s here to help. I told you we screwed up, three times. And the last ended up with you and Wesley dead. That\u2019s why he is here.\u201d Cordy interjected. \u201cHe\u2019s a good guy and being really nice for his beige self. We need to worry about the Angelus\u2019 now, not him.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can see how \u2018nice\u2019 he\u2019s been.\u201d Angel growled.<\/p>\n
Angel \u2018little a\u2019 stood still, refusing the instinct to respond to the other vampire\u2019s anger or his hold on Cordelia. Any movement would be taken as a threat and he couldn\u2019t wouldn\u2019t kill his future\u2026unless Angel A was a threat to Cordy.<\/p>\n
But, since that was him growling and holding on to the young woman so possessively he doubted that possibility. The only one that was at risk in the tunnel was him.<\/p>\n
\u201cUh.\u201d Cordy blinked. \u201cOh,\u201d she bit her lips at her realization of Angel\u2019s jealously. Stupid vampire. \u201cAngel, it\u2019s okay, we were just talking. He told me you do really love me.\u201d She explained.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe told you that I really loved you by kissing you. Interesting way of doing it and why does he need to tell you anything about how I feel.\u201d Angel narrowed his eyes boring into the young woman<\/p>\n
Damn those vamp super senses of his. This could get complicated. Cordy couldn\u2019t say kissing Angel \u2018little a\u2019 meant nothing because it had meant everything.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel, he\u2019s you. Just before these.\u201d She went to her neck. \u201cAnd loves me so these have nothing to do with why you love me. So, it\u2019s real you really love me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou doubted that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2026Angel, with all the time stuff. Him being here. I got scared that maybe you wouldn\u2019t have loved me except for the time stuff\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy, I told\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know but your memories were effected by Angelus in 1898. His aren\u2019t and he still loves me.”<\/p>\n
“And he convinced you by kissing you.”<\/p>\n
Cordelia bit her lip. “It helped. I mean you didn’t kiss me before when you loved me but hadn’t told me yet so why would you kiss me if you didn’t love me. But, he kissed me so you love me.” “<\/p>\n
“Is there any logic to what you are saying?”<\/p>\n
“Perfect logic. You didn’t…”<\/p>\n
“Don’t repeat it, my head already hurts.”<\/p>\n
“You are such a hypochondriac you don’t get migraines. Geez, how many times do I have to tell you that.”<\/p>\n
“I do too, loving you is a constant headache, constant.\u201d Angel argued.<\/p>\n
“It is not, is it?” she swirled to Angel ‘little a’.<\/p>\n
“Stomach ache too.”<\/p>\n
Angel A nodded. “See. Even then.”<\/p>\n
“You are such a baby.”<\/p>\n
Angel A’s glare got soft. “Cordy, you doubted me?”<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d she caressed his jaw. \u201cI just got scared.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy,\u201d he leaned into press his forehead against her. \u201cI love you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know. We can talk about this at home. We need to worry about the Angeluses\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTaken care of.\u201d The vampire stood up. They would have to talk about this, but not now.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Cordelia, it seemed that I had some time on my hands after I went to your house. A little surprised at the no barrier and the pile of dust pile on the floor, I\u2019d have\u00a0thought you had a maid for that sort of thing. More surprised to see a note and mug of cold blood\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201dI put cinnamon in it.\u201d She defended against his scolding tone.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat only helped marginally. Especially when I saw two Angelus hanging on your balcony. Well, easy. They thudded quite nicely to the ground.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel, what did you do with them?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLets see, I threw the one in all black, the one you have called limited in a portal, with some bruises. The other, I shaved bald and shoved in the entryway of the mansion.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel ignored Cordelia\u2019s gasp and turned towards his past self’s chuckles.<\/p>\n
\u201cSpike is going to have a fucking field day. That peroxide vampire could very end up dead by night fall.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia choked. \u201cAngel, Angelus can\u2019t kill Spike. Spike helps Buffy stop Angelus and the Judge, not to mention the fact that now he has a soul.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cExcuse me?\u201d The other vampire interrupted. \u201cHow in the hell did he get one?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTrials or something, wanted to prove his love for Buffy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEXCUSE ME.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia swirled and glared. \u201cAnd that bothers you why EXACTLY?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cChrist, Cordy, apples, and oranges. Since when did Vampires with a soul become the norm and what- Buffy goes for the one nearest. Geez. Give me a break. I\u2019ve had to deal with you and now this.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDEAL WITH ME.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel \u2018little a\u2019 took a deep breath. \u201cYou know what, I can\u2019t wait to get back to my Cordy she doesn\u2019t talk as much.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s because she isn\u2019t\u2019 talking to you, she hates your guts, little a.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou think you can get me there, but you can\u2019t. You told me that you love me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ve got a long row to haul, buddy, to get to that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve been to hell, Cordy, I can do it, and it will be worth it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia anger suddenly changed. Cordelia went to him. \u201cYou aren\u2019t going to remember anything.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy, what I need to know I know, ask him if you still doubt,\u201d he waved a hand to the other vampire. \u201cI just need to remember it and wait until my soul is bound or whatever \u2018epiphany\u2019 I\u2019m supposed to get. You, will remember though, and believe it when he tells you what I said is true, variation or not. Cordelia Chase, I love you and you have to believe it, I\u2019m the only one not affected by this time stuff, I\u2019m the only one\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cStop. I believe you and you\u2019re about to get yourself killed. He\u2019s growling again.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m expendable, right? But, I would really like to get back to my fruitless path and then get to begging my Cordy to talk to me again- a year you say, well, I\u2019m 249 years old that will go like that,\u201d he clicked his fingers.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel,\u201d Cordelia stepped closer her hand out.<\/p>\n
Angel \u2018little a\u2019 caught it, keeping it from touching his face. \u201cCordy, you talked to me because you could -your anger was dealt with\u2026you can\u2019t fix hers, I’ll have to do that with time.\u201d<\/p>\n
The anger and the need to kill that had sprung up when Angel A first got to Cordy’s empty house had only grown stronger as he saw the other version of himself with Cordelia. Now, however, it was slowly diminishing as rationality took over.<\/p>\n
Killing his past self for loving Cordelia was somewhat ridiculous but he couldn\u2019t quite get rid of the urge. His counterpart was a vampire and his instincts could give a damn that it was his past self, the feeling to kill, to protect what was his was still rolling around in his gut.<\/p>\n
Angel \u2018little a\u2019 stood straighter, letting go of Cordy’s hand, struggling with the need to claim her for himself, screw his future. She was his. He took breath as he saw the recognition of his thoughts in the eyes of his future self and the tension in the vampire\u2019s body. “Cordy needs to go home, do the spell.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI say throw you back first.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI say no to that. I\u2019m not leaving until I see Cordy\u2019s soul safe and this body unclaimed. I\u2019ve a future to protect.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel,\u201d Cordelia went back to Angel A. \u201cYou can\u2019t fight him for being as over protective as you are. You’re him, he’s you.”<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t see why not. If nothing else for the bastard he is, beigey remember.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut, he\u2019s being nice now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t care.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, you are mine.\u201d He growled.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe knows that.\u201d She nodded over her shoulder at the other vampire.<\/p>\n
Angel \u2018little a\u2019 choked on his growl. She was his. Angel \u2018little a\u2019 shook his head. But she wasn’t. The Cordelia standing before him wasn’t his Cordy. \u201cI know that I haven\u2019t earned the right to say that yet.\u201d He stared at the other vampire.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou never will.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel \u2018little a\u2019 nodded his understanding.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel, he\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy,\u201d Angel \u2018little a\u2019 responded for the other vampire, \u201cHe\u2019s right, because he hasn\u2019t. I just somehow get very lucky.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia stared at the past Angel, the one she fell in love with and then to her Angel. \u201cYou don\u2019t believe that do you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cVery much so.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShh, Cordy. I\u2019ve accepted it. You love me and I just will have to put up with it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWHAT?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s better.\u201d Angel smacked a kiss on her forehead. \u201cWhen we get home, we have some talking to do. \u201c<\/p>\n
Cordelia licked her lips. \u201cOkay, but can we make love first.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel gave a drawn out sigh. \u201cIf you insist.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJerk. Hmmph.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel \u2018little a\u2019 really wished he could use the stake in his pocket.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Cordelia sat on her bed surrounded by her teenage things. \u201cIs this going to hurt or anything?\u201d she bit her lip at the orb.<\/p>\n
\u201cWesley swore it wouldn\u2019t. Now lie down.\u201d Angel A went to sit on the bed beside her. \u201cWhen you wake up, you will be home, and your \u2018delightful\u2019 teenage self will be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHmmph, my delightful teenage self made you laugh, buster, don\u2019t you forget that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI never have.\u201d He leaned in and kissed her.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay,\u201d Cordelia looked up at the two vampires standing side by side. \u201cI love you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Both vampires nodded each taking the words to heart, cherishing them and conversely not begrudging the knowledge that the words were directed to both of them.<\/p>\n
The vampires\u2019 expression of love changed to resignation as the last words from Cordelia wasn\u2019t a repetition of her love but a question about her parent\u2019s door.<\/p>\n