Epilogue One<\/b><\/p>\n
Dr. Radcliff glanced up in surprise at the knock at her open door.<\/p>\n
\u201cHi, you don\u2019t probably remember me\u2026,\u201d the beautiful girl started.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia, come in,\u201d Dr. Radcliff beckoned to the nervous girl at the doorway. Dr. Radcliff did remember the former patient. Over the last two weeks, she had often wondered how the pretty, but lost young girl was coping. The psychologist studied Cordelia. The doctor had to admit the young girl did look much better than she had when she was in the hospital. Cordelia looked beautiful, healthy and more at peace. The doctor noticed though, that the young girl looked slightly anxious.<\/p>\n
\u201cHi, umm, I guess this is like really close to lunch time, so if you don\u2019t have time, I completely understand,\u201d the young girl babbled. \u201cI am sure you have stuff to do and all.\u201d The young girl hovered at the doorway, indecision apparent in her expression and body language.<\/p>\n
Cordelia wasn\u2019t at all sure what had possessed her to stop by the psychologist’s office after her visit to Wesley. She knew that she had to get back to the hotel, she didn\u2019t want to worry Angel. The vampire had been reluctant to let her go to the hospital alone. Over the last couple of weeks, he had barely left her side. But she had yelled, bullied, and pleaded for Angel to let her go alone.<\/p>\n
Cordelia needed some time away from the vampire. She needed to figure out why, when she was so happy, that she still felt slight tentacles of unease drift through her subconscious. And she was happy. She and Angel had spent most of the two weeks talking, trying to alleviate each other\u2019s guilt. The first few days was actually kind of silly, playground even despite the heart wrenching subject matter. She would say it was her fault, he would say it wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n
Then he would say it was his fault, then she would say it wasn\u2019t. They had at one point resorted to the childish banter of \u2018is not, is to.\u201d But, eventually, they had moved on to their feelings and their love. They each had a better understanding of the other\u2019s actions, they each gave the other forgiveness and accepted responsibility for their own actions where needed.<\/p>\n
Cordelia believed Angel when he had said he loved her, she had believed him when he said he would never leave her. The freedom of that the knowledge inspired an intense feeling of joy and hope. But something was still making her insecure and she couldn\u2019t talk to Angel about it, not really. For one, she had a gut feeling that he couldn\u2019t help her with whatever is causing her doubts. And second, more importantly, if she told him she had doubts, he would assume they were about his sincerity and he would either become all broody or over compensate by smothering her with affection, or both.<\/p>\n
It wasn\u2019t that Cordelia minded being showered with his affection, she took great pleasure in hearing over and over again that he loved her, but after a while, the lack of a physical outlet for their love became frustrating to both of them. Then they would get all hesitant and uncomfortable for a period of time, while vowing that they would stay apart, but still looking longingly at each other. Stupid curse, Cordelia damned. But as annoying and frustrating as that could be, the \u2018happy clause\u2019 was not what was causing her uneasiness or doubts.<\/p>\n
\u201cI have a few moments, come in, please.\u201d Dr. Radcliff coaxed the obviously indecisive girl.<\/p>\n
Cordelia glanced at the doctor, out to the hall, then stood silently for moment. Suddenly, she moved forward as if an inner decision was confirmed and finalized. Cordelia went straight for the doctor\u2019s chair.<\/p>\n
After a few moments of stillness, Dr. Radcliff broke in the silence. \u201cCordelia, why are you here?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia scrunched up her pretty face at the doctor\u2019s question. \u201cI was visiting Wesley,\u201d she answered avoiding the doctor\u2019s true inquiry.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd how is he?\u201d The doctor asked, giving the young girl a momentary reprieve.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe is good, but bored. I had to bring a bunch of books and stuff.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI am glad to hear that. But, how are you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI’m fine,\u201d the young girl claimed.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, you look well. But, Cordelia, why are you here in this office,\u201d she specified, hoping that the young girl was ready to admit the reason.<\/p>\n
Cordelia bit her lip. \u201cI am fine,\u201d she said again, stalling. Even though, Cordelia had made up her mind to talk to the doctor, it was hard. She hated to talk about her feelings. Now, that she had made her decision, she didn\u2019t know how to start.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut,\u201d the doctor gently urged.<\/p>\n
Cordelia scowled at the doctor. \u201cBut, I am scared.\u201d Cordelia blurted out, pushing past her automatic defensive need to keep her feelings contained and hidden.<\/p>\n
\u201cScared?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes,\u201d Cordelia sighed, supplicating to her necessity to talk to the doctor. \u201cI don\u2019t want to ever be in the situation where ending my life is the only option. I want to understand why, now that I\u2019m fine, I\u2019m still scared. I am fine,\u201d she emphasized to the doctor. \u201cThe things that had made me so \u2026.upset..before are gone.\u201d She paused, thinking of her role as Angel\u2019s seer and all the evil in the world.<\/p>\n
\u201cOr at least they have been put in their proper perspective,\u201d Cordelia added. \u201cAnd, Angel and I have cleared up the misunderstandings that we had in our relationship. I am happy at where we are. Angel says he loves me\u2026.\u201d Cordelia trailed off.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat doesn\u2019t make you happy?\u201d The doctor asked, watching the confusion settle over the girl\u2019s expression.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes\u2026.but.\u201d She tried to focus on her nagging doubts. For some reason, even though she believed Angel, strains of insecurity were still flashing through her mind.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI love him, I really do. And I do believe he loves me, but\u2026\u201d Cordelia struggled. \u201cI am afraid\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are you afraid of, Cordelia?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia grappled with her fears. She closed her eyes pulling her primary dread to the surface. \u201cHe will leave me,\u201d Cordelia finally admitted to herself and to the doctor.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe will?\u201d Dr. Radcliff questioned.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, everyone that I love leaves me, even when they say they love or care about me, always.\u201d Cordelia said with sad conviction.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia, I saw Angel by your side, I saw Wesley and Gunn. They didn\u2019t look like they were going anywhere.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know,\u201d Cordelia slowly smiled. \u201cAren\u2019t they great?\u201d She paused \u201cBut, they will leave me too. It is only a matter of time,\u201d she said with resignation.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s it, Cordelia thought to herself that\u2019s why she was having these doubts. She was waiting for the other shoe to drop. She was anticipating the time that Angel would leave her. No matter how much the vampire said he loved her, he would go. He wouldn\u2019t have a choice, not really. She always drove away the people that loved her.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy do you say that,\u201d the doctor questioned.<\/p>\n
Cordelia squirmed in her seat and looked at her watch, this was getting too difficult. She had figured out what was bothering her. The doctor couldn\u2019t make her more lovable, that was just not possible. Cordelia would just have to remember that everyone leaves her and protect herself from the day Angel finally does. Cordelia wanted to get out of there; there was nothing more to be gained by staying. \u201cIsn\u2019t it lunch for you, I am sorry for taking up you time.\u201d Cordelia made to move from the chair.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia sit down, you came here for a reason, tell me. Why you are scared, why do you think that Angel will leave you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia stilled in the chair and closed her eyes. Cordelia didn\u2019t see the point of talking to the doctor anymore, but she was there, so she might as well go on. \u201cHe has before.\u201d Cordelia said still stalling, avoiding the doctor\u2019s real question and her real answer.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo you don\u2019t believe him now when he says he loves you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. I know he loves me.\u201d Cordelia defended. She couldn\u2019t let the doctor think that Angel was insincere or a liar. She paused for a moment, gathering her courage. \u201cBut he will leave. Because, even if he loves me, it won\u2019t last. He will leave, like everybody else has, He will realize that I am not deserving of that love. Eventually, they all do.” Cordelia sighed, finally admitting out loud her fatal shortcoming and her undeniable fear.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia, who are they?\u201d the doctor asked compassionately, sensing that Cordelia was getting close to the real cause of her fears.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u2019 Cordelia looked questioningly.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia who is the first person that told you that they loved you and would be with you always.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia was silent for several minutes. Then with a sad whisper she admitted, \u201cMy father.\u201d Tears pooled in her wide hazel eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd,\u201d the doctor urged quietly.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd, he left.\u201d<\/p>\n
Dr. Radcliff nodded and lifted her phone. \u201cCordelia, would you like turkey or roast beef,\u201d the doctor asked, knowing that she would listen to the young girl through lunch.<\/p>\n
Epilogue Two<\/b><\/p>\n
\u201cOh big guy, come in,\u201d the green demon host said to the vampire standing in the doorway.<\/p>\n
Angel walked over to the host\u2019s table. \u201cI ‘m not singing.\u201d He affirmed to the host.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s a relief. Believe me, your not so dulcet tones aren\u2019t not what I exactly crave at the beginning of a lovely new day. Why are you here, it\u2019s daylight?\u201d the green demon raised his eyes at the hesitant vampire.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not sure. I just needed to get out of the hotel for awhile.\u201d Angel settled uncomfortably in the chair.<\/p>\n
\u201cReally, that\u2019s somewhat mindboggling, you know with your hot little seer shacked up there. I don\u2019t know many beings, human or demons that would be willing to leave such a tempting morsel.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel growled at the host\u2019s lurid insinuation about Cordelia.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, don\u2019t go all demon on me, I\u2019m just making an observation, no touching involved.\u201d The host laughed. \u201cSo what\u2019s with all the gloom and doom? Everything should be copasetic. You hit rock bottom, and can I say one thing about that particular crash, Ewww. But, hey big guy, you had your moment of clarity, the big eye opener, that handsome face should be all smiles or at least not so grim. Your soul is sportin\u2019 a complete and healthy new hue. So what\u2019s with the long good looking face? Is it the members of your crew?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot really, Wesley and Gunn are talking to me, you can barely hear the hostility in their voices, now. They have agreed to allow me to help them at Angel Investigations, a probationary period, they called it.\u201d Angel shrugged. \u201cI know I have to re- earn their trust.\u201d<\/p>\n
The host nodded. \u201cThey will come around. That is if you remain on the good and narrow pathway.\u201d The Host raised his brows at the vampire\u2019s expression. \u201cYou have some doubts?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI want to, but then again, I wanted to before, but I still managed to screw up.\u201d Angel sighed.<\/p>\n
\u201cTrue. But, big guy, everyone makes mistakes, even gorgeous ensouled vampires. The question is have you learned from yours. Because, they were some doozies packed with morals to be learned.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI want to help the helpless.\u201d Angel said with determination. \u201cThat\u2019s what matters, the little wins that I can accomplish daily, until I reach my redemption.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, that\u2019s pretty much right. Okay, so it isn\u2019t the \u2018not so stiff\u2019 Mr. English, the young macho guy or your path that is giving you that downtrodden look. That means, it must be the ‘crumptious Cordelia. What\u2019s the problem? The sensuous seer is back under your watchful deep brown peepers. I would think that would make you grin, after all she is something to watch over.\u201d The green demon leered.<\/p>\n
Angel scowled at the Host\u2019s lecherous tone. \u201cYes, Cordelia is back. She seems to be better. No, I know she is better. But something is still bothering her. I am afraid she doesn\u2019t quite believe me.\u201d Angel responded giving voice to his real concern.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe is young and you pulled quite a number on her. But, you say she is back, so I would have to say that she trusts you. The problems that you are sensing may have nothing to do with you. Shocking, I know considering how \u2018ooh\u2019 you are, but not everything is about you or something you can fix. I wouldn\u2019t be too concerned, your seer is more than just a lush body and pretty face, she has a brain, she will figure it out.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI have to help her. I love her. It\u2019s my responsibility.\u201d Angel declared. Cordelia was his responsibility. It was his job to make sure she was always safe and cared for. He had to make sure that she would never face anything alone, again.<\/p>\n
\u201cYo, big guy, wasn\u2019t it your mono-scopic view of your \u2018responsibility\u2019 to the women in your life that blinded you to your path. Wasn\u2019t it your complete focus on your perceived inadequacies and failure\u2019s to save or protect those insipid blondes that allowed you sink into the ultimate self-destruct mode? I think maybe you still have some things to learn about this whole mess.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2026\u201d Angel began, trying to put into words his desperate need to always be the one to protect Cordelia, to keep her from worry and pain.<\/p>\n
\u201cI, I , I \u2026..Aren\u2019t you being a little arrogant, here? Your seer is one strong, smart good-looking cookie. Trust her. She will survive. She has a big part to play in all of this. The PTB wouldn\u2019t have chosen her if they didn\u2019t think she had it in her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI love her.\u201d Angel repeated, as if to explain his compulsion.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, I know, you are gaga over her and she is gaga over you. It\u2019s all really quite annoying, you know. But, hey, she suits you and your soul. Just remember that and everything will work out.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe can\u2019t be together, not really.\u201d Angel grumbled. He hated being with Cordelia and not being able to touch her. Everything about Cordelia, her voice, her mannerisms, her soft skin, the shake of her head, her scent beckoned him to make love to her. It was damn frustrating. Angel sighed, however annoying the \u2018happy clause\u2019 was,<\/p>\n
Angel loved Cordelia and having her in his life was worth all of the aggravation. He wouldn\u2019t run away from her, not like he did with Buffy. Hell, Angel wasn\u2019t even sure that he could leave her, even if he wanted to. Cordelia had inexplicably and firmly wrapped herself around his heart and soul. He truly believed that death would be the only way that he could be separated from her.<\/p>\n
\u201cAh, the hot little number is causing some havoc down below. Completely understandable, she is \u2018wow\u2019. Which begs the question, why are you here and not there. I would have thought that you two would be engaging in all sorts of nefarious and exciting acts.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t make love to Cordelia.\u201d Angel was surprised and annoyed at the host\u2019s assumption.<\/p>\n
\u201cEwww. Ouch, What\u2019s the problem? Still shell shocked over your last experience?\u201d the host asked understandably. \u201cDon\u2019t worry. Your seer is definitely a better choice than your last foray into all that is conjugal. No, trying to chew off your arm when you wake up with her curled up beside you. Bad one night stand with the fanged blonde aside, I\u2019m still having trouble visualizing your downcast dilemma.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMy soul,\u201d Angel explained in exasperation.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat about it? Like I said it has a complete and healthy hue. As in \u2018complete\u2019, as in permanent.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d The host chuckled at the vampire\u2019s stunned expression. \u201cYou didn\u2019t think that your epiphany just let you retain your soul, no baby, it gave it to you, big time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy would the power\u2019s reward me?\u201d Angel asked in wonderment.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey wouldn\u2019t, not after all the dark escapades you have been engaged in. But, they would reward their link. You know, show their appreciation for all of the hottie\u2019s sacrifices. I think it is rather compassionate of the PTB. Unfortunately, you aren\u2019t even close to being ready for what she truly wants, nor can the Power\u2019s take away all of her fears, but, hey you with a solid type soul is not a bad compromise. She gets you, abet still a vamp, but with no threat of the \u2018evil one\u2019 being boinked back into existence. Hey, what\u2019s your hurry,\u201d the demon laughed at the vampire\u2019s rushed departure. \u201cOh well,\u201d the green host sighed, \u201cJust goes to show you all the good ones are taken, or soon will be,\u201d he added under his breath.<\/p>\n
Epilogue Three<\/b><\/p>\n
Angel drank in the appearance of his beautiful seer as she walked into the hotel. His mind was in a whirl at the host\u2019s proclamation regarding the permanency of his soul. Angel had left the bar in a mad charge to get back to the hotel, he couldn\u2019t wait to tell Cordelia, to hold her and love her. But now that she was here in front of him, he wasn\u2019t sure how to broach the subject.<\/p>\n
He didn\u2019t think that tossing the young girl over his shoulder and rushing her to the bedroom to ravish her was appropriate. Though, it would be satisfying, he thought longing to feel Cordelia\u2019s warm body against his cool one. Desire heated his body as his gaze caressed the body of his seer. All thoughts of lovemaking flew from his mind as Angel\u2019s eyes trailed up to her face and he noticed her somber expression.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia?\u201d He questioned worriedly.<\/p>\n
Cordelia started. \u201cOh, hi.\u201d Cordelia hadn\u2019t even sensed the vampire\u2019s presence; her mind had been too busy trying to wrap it\u2019s way around all of the stuff that her impromptu session with Dr. Radcliff had exposed.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs it Wesley?\u201d Angel questioned apprehensively taking in her red rimmed eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cUmm, no. He\u2019s good. All bored and complaining. He should be released at the end of the week.\u201d She said distractedly. Her thoughts were still centered on the issue\u2019s Dr. Radcliff brought up about her insecurities regarding her father.<\/p>\n
Cordelia had been positive that all of her feelings of rejection and abandonment that her father\u2019s complete lack of participation or care in her childhood had been permanently and utterly smash down. But, obviously not, she inwardly cringed, as she remembered her embarrassing display of tears. She had been blubbering like a baby halfway through her talk with the doctor.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, what\u2019s wrong?\u201d Angel was anxious. Cordelia had seemed fine when she had left for the hospital, she had been eager to go visit Wesley and grateful that Angel agreed to let her go alone. But obviously something had happened to upset the young woman and if it wasn\u2019t Wesley, then Angel had no idea what it was and that made him uneasy. Angel knew he shouldn\u2019t have let her go alone.<\/p>\n
Cordelia took a deep breath, pushing the thoughts of her father aside. It was apparent that Angel was worried and she didn\u2019t want the vampire upset. \u201cI stopped by Dr. Radcliff\u2019s office. You remember her, not quite the MD of the mind.\u201d Cordelia turned to the vampire. \u201cI just thought maybe I should, I don\u2019t know, talk to her and stuff.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia are you okay?\u201d Angel\u2019s concern was turning into panic. Was whatever bothering her serious enough for her to be contemplating hurting herself again? Why wouldn\u2019t she come to him, if she needed to talk to some one, she had to know that he was there for her, that he would fix whatever was bothering her. Angel tried to calm himself, thinking back to the host\u2019s words. Maybe, this was something he couldn\u2019t fix. What if what was bothering her was him? He thought, his panic turning into fear.<\/p>\n
\u201cI am okay,\u201d Cordelia reassured. \u201cWe talked. She wants me to come back next week.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you?\u201d Angel asked trying to push down his anxiety. He needed to focus on the fact that Cordelia had sought out professional help for whatever was still troubling her. While Angel wanted to be the one Cordelia always turned to for help, if he couldn\u2019t be the one, he needed to be grateful that she was taking steps on her own to confront her issues. But, he couldn\u2019t get rid of the dread in the pit of his stomach that he was the one that was still causing Cordelia problems.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d She answered still remembering how hard it was for her to relinquish her control over her feelings. \u201cIt seems I still have issues.\u201d She shrugged.<\/p>\n
\u201cWith me?\u201d Angel asked, terrified of her answer.<\/p>\n
Cordelia smiled as she stared at the vampire. God, Cordelia loved him. It was amazing how just being near him made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside. The angst that she had felt upon the exploration of her fear and insecurity with the doctor dissipated as she looked at the handsome vampire. She smiled wider as she saw his trepidation at her answer.<\/p>\n
Angel was so predictable, she thought. She knew he would think he was somehow the cause of her issues.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, it seems that I had issues long before I knew you, just regular, normal stuff, parent\/child stuff, nothing at all to do with demons, vampires or death,\u201d she smiled again attempting to ease Angel\u2019s mind.<\/p>\n
Angel frowned. If what was still bothering Cordelia was related to her relationship with her parents, than he couldn\u2019t help her. His own relationship with his father had been problematic at best, depressingly destructive at worse. Angel was so intent on old memories that he almost missed Cordelia next statement.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, actually, there is one issue that directly relates to you, but Dr. Radcliff can\u2019t help with that one, nobody can.\u201d Cordelia wasn\u2019t able to completely hide her frustration from the teasing tone of her voice.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d he answered. Angel cleared his mind of his conflicted relationship with his mortal self\u2019s father. \u201cWhat issue?\u201d He asked hesitantly, confused by the young girl\u2019s apparent change in demeanor from when she first walked into the door.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe issue that prevents me from showing you how much I love you, that issue.\u201d She sighed. Her feelings of disappoint and frustration now showing clearly in her eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, well, I can help with that one,\u201d Angel said in relief. He might not be able to solve all of Cordelia\u2019s issues, but he could fix that one.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel?\u201d she raised her elegant brows.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe Powers made my soul permanent.\u201d He answered almost shyly.<\/p>\n
\u201cPermanent, as in no more Angelus worry. Gee, I would have thought they would be all pissy, not rewarding you.\u201d She said in astonishment. Cordelia had never gotten the impression that the PTB were all that magnanimous or generous.<\/p>\n
In fact, she always considered them somewhat petty, in that they never seemed to make anything easy for the vampire or her, for that matter. They didn\u2019t go out of their way to make her visions clear or pain-free. Which, she grumbled to herself, couldn\u2019t be that difficult for \u2018oh so\u2019 omniscient beings. No, Cordelia didn\u2019t have a very high opinion of the Powers, well, except for them being all good and everything.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey didn\u2019t do it for me. It\u2019s seems they thought to show their appreciation to you, their link for all that you have done for them.\u201d Angel responded almost smiling. Cordelia deserved a sign of appreciation from the PTBs. Angel just hoped that Cordelia considered it a proper reward. Angel thought it a tremendous reward for him. The Power\u2019s may not have intended for that to be the case, but it was, that was if Cordelia agreed.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey gave you your soul to reward me?\u201d She questioned in disbelief. \u201cThat\u2019s not a bonus for me, that\u2019s a bonus for you. A reward for me would be toning down the \u2018ouch\u2019 factor on those evil filled slide shows of theirs, unless\u2026\u201d Cordelia scrunched up her face. If Angel\u2019s soul was permanent then he could experience real joy without the evil aftereffects of Angelus.<\/p>\n
And that meant she and Angel could really be together. Cordelia face started to get red at the completion of that particular thought. Cordelia shook her head; she needed some clarification about her so call gift. \u201cIf your soul being permanent is my reward, then you can\u2019t be giving it to anyone else, right. It\u2019s mine.\u201d She declared possessively, narrowing her eyes at the vampire.<\/p>\n
Angel nodded in complete agreement. \u201cMy soul is yours and only yours,\u201d he vowed.<\/p>\n
Cordelia nodded. \u201cWell\u2026then..it\u2019s an okay reward, I guess.\u201d Cordelia gazed intently at the handsome vampire, her eyes unreadable. Cordelia didn\u2019t know whether to jump for joy or run away. Cordelia had wished and dreamed of this day for a very long time and that was before she even knew that Angel loved her.<\/p>\n
Finding out that Angel actually loved her had strengthened those fantasies a thousandfold. But, she had always thought that it would remain just an impossible dream. And, now, hearing that Angel\u2019s soul was permanent and all that it implied for them, she was weirdly nervous and self-conscious.<\/p>\n
\u201cUmm, Angel now what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s up to you.\u201d Angel returned her gaze. Angel resisted the urge to fling the young woman over his shoulder. Instead, he stood completely still, waiting for her answer.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh,\u201d Cordelia lowered her eyes embarrassed. They both remained motionless, the tension between them becoming almost palpable.<\/p>\n
This was stupid, Cordelia thought. Her dreams were just an answer away from becoming true and here she was, standing like a deer caught in headlights. Bolstering her nerve Cordelia raised her eyes back up to the vampire. \u201cAngel, will you make love to me? That\u2019s if you want to\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
With a low growl, Angel was across the room before Cordelia could finished her sentence. He pulled Cordelia into his arms, using his lips and hands to show Cordelia how much he wanted to make love to her. His lips settled over Cordelia\u2019s lips, his teeth and tongue nudging at hers. Cordelia gasped at the sensation. The vampire took advantage of her parted lips to thrust his tongue into her opening mouth, devouring Cordelia\u2019s sweet taste. Cordelia met Angel\u2019s questing tongue eagerly, marveling at the desire surging through her body. She whimpered into his mouth as his strong hands traveled up and down her sides. Cordelia gently broke away to gasp for some much needed air. Angel didn\u2019t let her move far as his lips and tongue tasted the delicate skin around her neck.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel,\u201d she murmured, running her hands along his broad back. Angel growled as her hands found their way under his shirt. He pushed her with his body towards the sofa. His last conscious thought before the desire overwhelmed him, was that his original thought of rushing Cordelia to the bedroom was way too optimistic. He growled as he positioned Cordelia on the couch, his body following quickly after hers. Angel needed to explore all of his seer\u2019s body.<\/p>\n
Cordelia clutched at the vampire, frantically tugging at his shirt. Angel leaned up from the writhing young girl to rip his shirt off. He leaned back into her lips, relishing the taste of Cordelia and the feeling of her hands roaming all over his bare skin. Angel kissed down her soft cheek, leaving a moist trial along his path. His mouth stopped when it reached the material of her shirt. Angel growled in frustration as his teeth ripped at the garment trying to pull it away from the beautiful body it covered.<\/p>\n
Cordelia lifted her head. \u201cHey, stop,\u201d she pouted. \u201cThis is my favorite shirt.\u201d She giggled, leaning up further lifting the shirt from her body. \u201cOkay?\u201d she whispered, pulling Angel back to her body.<\/p>\n
\u201cVery,\u201d Angel growled, placing moist kisses along her collarbone, descending the moist path to her breast. The fire in Angel\u2019s loins was more intense than he had ever experienced before. His mind and body were in conflict, his body needed to be immediately submerged in Cordelia\u2019s warmth, but his mind wanted to take time to savor ever morsel of her delicious flesh.<\/p>\n
Cordelia jerked Angel\u2019s mouth closer to her breast. She squirmed as his lips and teeth nipped and teased at her taut nipple.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel,\u201d she moaned. She couldn\u2019t stand it. As much as Cordelia reveled in his every touch and kiss, she needed Angel now. She had wanted this for so long. In her dreams, she had pictured slow and delicate lovemaking by the vampire, but in reality, right now, she didn\u2019t need it or want it. \u201cI\u2026\u201d she groaned, reaching for his pants. \u201cPlease, now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel growled his acquiesce and in an almost one fluid movement, he had removed both of their remaining clothes. He stared down at the flushed girl beneath him. \u201cCordy?\u201d He asked in an instant of uncertainty. This was going to fast, he worried. He didn\u2019t want to rush or pressure the young girl.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel,\u201d she demanded, her fingernails urging the vampire on. All of her love and desire were contained in that one word.<\/p>\n
With a sense of relief and extreme pleasure, Angel plunged into her welcoming depths. He stilled, enthralled by the warmth that encased him.<\/p>\n
\u201cI love you,\u201d he struggled. Cordelia smiled wildly and thrust upwards with her hips. Cordelia\u2019s smile and motion encouraged the vampire to movement. He thrust repeatedly into Cordelia\u2019s center. Cordelia clenched her eyes, as her breaths became rapid gasps and her body tensed. Tears formed in the corners of her eyes as she felt her body on the cusp of a massive explosion, bright and lovely colors were flashing behind her closed eyelids.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel,\u201d she begged, her fingernails digging into his skin, drawing blood.<\/p>\n
Angel growled, his eyes flashing from a deep brown to a bright yellow. \u201cCordy,\u201d he called.<\/p>\n
His seer opened her waterfilled eyes into Angel\u2019s demon yellow eyes. She smiled. \u201cI love you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel lunged towards the beckoning skin around Cordelia\u2019s delicate neck. Cordelia pulled him closer, moaning loudly as Angel\u2019s fangs pierced her skin. Cordelia gasped and whimpered as Angel sipped from her neck. The colors of her mind burst into a kaleidoscope of shapes and hues as she felt her release.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh god,\u201d she sobbed, grabbing at the vampire\u2019s body, her inner muscles contradicting rapidly around Angel\u2019s thrusting member. Angel wrenched his mouth from Cordelia\u2019s neck as he felt his body explode in joyous release. His weight covered Cordelia\u2019s trembling smaller frame. He could stay this way forever, he thought as his mind and body slowly regained their equilibrium.<\/p>\n
Angel started as he heard Cordelia\u2019s slight moan. Oh god, he thought, he was crushing her. He quickly started to lift his weight. Cordelia reached and grabbed at the retreating vampire.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, don\u2019t leave me, just..\u201d she urged her body to the side. Angel readily and smoothly turned his body so that Cordelia was lying on top of his, all the while never withdrawing from her warwth. Cordelia bit her lip.<\/p>\n
\u201cHi,\u201d she said shyly.<\/p>\n
\u201cHi,\u201d he answered flashing one of his rare and beautiful smiles.<\/p>\n
\u201cI love you,\u201d she said softly.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd, I love you. Which is a good thing, considering that the Power\u2019s have seemed fit to give you my soul.\u201d He smiled, caressing her face.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, permanently nice \u2018grr\u2019 guy don\u2019t you ever forget it.\u201d Cordelia giggled.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia,\u201d he said softly, entangling his fingers in her hair. \u201cI may be dense and at times very stupid. But, I\u2019m not a moron. I will always remember and always love the young beautiful strong, caring, annoying seer that holds not only my soul, but my humanity.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s me, right?\u201d She asked. Her wide eyes begging for reassurance.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes,\u201d Angel laughed, pulling his seer to his questing lips.<\/p>\n
After awhile, Angel released his seer. \u201cBed?\u2019<\/p>\n
Cordelia nodded, happily.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy,\u201d Angel cradled his naked seer in his arms. \u201cYou will go back and see Dr. Radcliff,\u201d he ordered.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Cordelia, I can\u2019t help you or protect you from the ghosts of your past, as much as I want and need to, so you will see her again. I won\u2019t allow you not to address what\u2019s still bothering you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re really very bossy, you know that,\u201d she said, nuzzling into the crook of his neck.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy,\u201d he demanded.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know. I will.\u201d She said kissing his cheek. \u201cI love you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI love you,\u201d the vampire vowed as he carried his seer up the stairs.<\/p>\n
The End<\/b><\/p>\n