Chapter 13<\/b><\/p>\n
\u201cWelcome back to earth.\u201d Wesley came up to Angel.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah.\u201d Glancing at Cordelia. The young woman hadn\u2019t looked up from the ground since they disembarked from the Ferris wheel and poor kitty was going to need a new head soon, if Cordelia didn\u2019t stop wringing the animal\u2019s neck. Angel wished that they were back on top of the world, alone.<\/p>\n
Being back to earth would likely become more complicated than he or his demon wanted to deal with right now. But he would have to. Cordelia\u2019s feelings and insecurities came before anything else.<\/p>\n
\u201cReady to blow this Popsicle stand.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPopsicles? Where?\u201d Fred spun around, her armful of stuff animals turning with her.<\/p>\n
Wesley put a hand out stopping the spinning girl. \u201cGunn simply meant are we ready to leave. Of course, if you want we\u2019ll see if they have Popsicles.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLord, girl how much food can you shove in to that pint size body of yours.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you saying I\u2019m a pig?\u201d Fred\u2019s brow rose.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow, I\u2019m sure Charles didn\u2019t mean anything like that.\u201d Wesley shot a disbelieving glare at the young black man. Gunn didn\u2019t see it though; he was too busy blanching at Fred\u2019s expression.<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course not, I\u2026I\u2019m just impressed, that all. Really.\u201d Gunn said.<\/p>\n
Angel ignored the two men\u2019s bumbling attempts to get Fred\u2019s eyebrows back to normal.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy, you do want to go home, don\u2019t you?\u201d Cordy still hadn\u2019t said a word.<\/p>\n
Cordy kicked at the trash on the ground. Angel was right- carnivals were dirty and crowded. If she got pushed once more she was going to scream.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy, do you want to go home, don\u2019t you?\u201d Angel repeated, gently touching her on the arm.<\/p>\n
Startled, Cordelia looked up. Had Angel just asked her if she wanted to go home and have sex?<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d She managed to squeak out.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you want to go home? We can stay if you want. Maybe go on more rides or something?\u201d Please say no. Angel really wanted to get out of this crowded place and be alone with Cordelia. But he would do whatever she wanted. She just needed to tell him.<\/p>\n
Cordelia bit her lip. Okay, she added the last part. Cordelia glanced up at Angel. His expression was patient, willing and wanting to please her. Cordelia started chewing on her lip. Except for his eyes, they weren\u2019t patient at all. Okay, she hadn\u2019t added the home equals sex part.<\/p>\n
But he would accept her decision. What was her decision? Anticipation, fear, love and desire swirled around in her mind. \u201cI want to go home.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCome on we\u2019re leaving now.\u201d Angel herded everyone to the exit.<\/p>\n
\u201cFred, I\u2019m sure Angel won\u2019t mind stopping to get a Popsicle somewhere. Will you?\u201d Wesley turned to Angel. His expression hopeful, pleading and demanding.<\/p>\n
Angel ignored it all. \u201cI mind.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel.\u201d Wesley\u2019s scowl almost matched the one on Angel\u2019s face, but Angel had the advantage of being able to growl.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel.\u201d Cordelia raised her brows.<\/p>\n
Angel stopped his growl. He still wasn\u2019t sure what Cordelia wanted. The usually forthright and painfully honest young woman was hesitant and subdued. \u201cWe can stop. But Fred wouldn\u2019t you rather just go home. We have ice cream there. You like ice cream, right?\u201d Angel was still hoping for the best.<\/p>\n
Fred\u2019s eyes widen. \u201cWe\u2019ve got rocky road don\u2019t we. Ice Cream it is. Hey, let\u2019s rent a movie, that\u2019s will fun. Cordy, do want to see a movie, we could all watch a movie and have ice cream. I could make popcorn. I know how to make popcorn.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFred, aren\u2019t you tired. I\u2019m sure everyone else is tired. I\u2019m tired.\u201d Angel said.<\/p>\n
\u201cPooh, you\u2019re a vampire, you don\u2019t get tired. And I don\u2019t want this night to end, it was so much fun.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI get tired.\u201d Angel adamantly disagreed. But Angel did agree that he didn\u2019t want the night to end, but he sure and hell didn\u2019t want to spend it with the gang. Unless Cordelia did. \u201cCordy?\u201d Angel knew he had to be alone with Cordelia, if for no other reason than to talk this all out, though he wanted, needed to finish what was started on the Ferris wheel. Angel glanced at Cordelia.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s if she wanted to, if she wanted to watch a movie than he would watch a movie.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s a great idea Fred.\u201d Gunn and Wesley said, ignoring Angel. Fred was smiling, her normal sunny disposition back. But neither man wanted to take a chance.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m tired, too.\u201d Cordelia managed to say over Gunn and Wesley\u2019s enthusiastic agreement. Her anticipation and desire were rapidly overcoming her fear. The idea of spending two hours watching a movie with the gang was now what scared the hell out of her.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, Cordy, you don\u2019t want to go back to the hotel and watch a movie with us?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia did want to go back to the hotel, just not with everyone. And she didn\u2019t see herself running up to Angel\u2019s bedroom and holing herself up there, while the rest of the group was downstairs watching a stupid movie.<\/p>\n
God forbid, actually being alone with Angel in his bedroom with everyone at the hotel.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. Angel you can just drop me off at my apartment, I guess.\u201d She would much rather go home alone and throw things at the wall then watch a movie.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t want\u2026.okay.\u201d Angel said.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, you\u2019ll watch the movie with us?\u201d Fred asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cLets just go.\u201d Angel pushed everyone out of the exit towards the car.<\/p>\n
Chapter 14<\/b><\/p>\n
\u201cCordy, are you\u2026\u201d Fred leaned up to the front seat as Angel drove up to Cordelia\u2019s apartment.<\/p>\n
\u201cNO.\u201d Cordelia didn\u2019t mean to slam the car door or maybe she did. Her anticipation and desire had quickly turned to frustration then to anger.<\/p>\n
Angel turned off the engine. \u201cI\u2019ll be back. I just want to make sure Cordy gets to her door.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSince when has he needed to tell us that, the vamp barely lets Cordy cross the street alone.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cKyerumption.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhatever, but it didn\u2019t happen tonight. Angel must\u2019ve screwed up again- bad. Cordelia would barely speak. She wouldn\u2019t even look at Angel.\u201d Gunn said.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m afraid you\u2019re right. They will never admit their feelings for each other if he keeps messing up.\u201d Wesley said.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t think Cordy\u2019s mad at Angel.\u201d Fred watched the vampire disappear into the apartment complex after his seer. \u201cThough, he does seem anxious and she was awful quiet. Maybe, I should go talk to her, maybe she needs a girlfriend to talk to. Cordelia said I\u2019m her friend. Maybe\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Wesley pulled Fred back down into the seat. \u201cFred, you are Cordy\u2019s friend, but Angel is going up there now. Let\u2019s give him a chance to try to make things better.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, they always make up. Movie and popcorn, remember?\u201d Gunn said.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy.\u201d Angel rushed up as the apartment door was about to close. Cordelia must have run.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t you have a hotel full of movie watchers to entertain?\u201d Cordelia kept walking, the door remaining open. Finally, she turned her brow arched high.<\/p>\n
Angel was actually very grateful to see it. Cordelia\u2019s tense silence in the car had started to make him very nervous. She hadn\u2019t even been able to look at him. Regardless of what Bob said right now the eyebrow thing was helping him regain his confidence.<\/p>\n
Angel had been fearful that Cordelia had been changing her mind. That she was starting to have doubts. But she was mad. That was good. Angel began to wonder how good.<\/p>\n
\u201cA movie would be fun, you sure that you don\u2019t want to join Wesley, Gunn, Fred and me. Popcorn, ice cream. Maybe, we can watch two.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYOU ARE NOT watching that movie with them.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t see how I\u2019ve much choice; they\u2019re coming over. It would be impolite not to let them. It wouldn\u2019t be very social and you want me to be social. Wasn\u2019t that the whole point of tonight, for me to have fun and be social? Isn\u2019t that what you wanted.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWHAT I WANT is to MAKE LOVE WITH YOU, you dumb ass.\u201d Cordelia\u2019s mouth dropped open as her face turned beet red. She couldn\u2019t believe it. She had just yelled at the top of her lungs that she wanted to have sex with Angel. Cordelia hid her face. She was doomed and she was an idiot. \u201cMy neighbors, oh god.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWesley, Gunn and Fred probably heard it too.\u201d<\/p>\n
Something in Angel\u2019s tone made Cordelia\u2019s head shoot up. \u201cYou son of a bitch.\u201d Kitty went flying into the pleased smirk on Angel\u2019s face.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ll hurt kitty.\u201d Angel cupped the stuff animal gently in his hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou did that on purpose. When did you get to be such Mr. Funny guy? And give me back Kitty.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel was in front of her in a flash of a second. \u201cI\u2019ll be back as soon as I drop the them off at the hotel. Please. I really want to make love to you too, may I?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia wasn\u2019t sure if Angel\u2019s soft question referred to whether he could come back or whether he could make love to her. Though, it didn\u2019t matter her answer was yes to both. Except. \u201cWhat are you going to tell Wesley and them? You\u2019re not going to tell them that are you? Please.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel wanted to shout it as loud as Cordelia had. Only louder so all of LA could hear and know that he was in love with Cordelia and she loved him. But obviously, Cordelia didn\u2019t want them to know or she would have demanded that they all take their movie and shove it.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t want them to know that we love each other?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel, I\u2019m still getting use to it and\u2026I just want tonight to be about us\u2026we tell them and Wesley will be all with the soul questions, Gunn with his \u2018oh mans\u2019 and Fred jumping up and done screaming Kyerumption or whatever that stupid word is.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s a very nice word, very appropriate.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHmmph.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel didn\u2019t even care what that meant anymore. It was just adorable the way her nose would scrunch up whenever she said it. It made him want to kiss it. So, he did.<\/p>\n
He leaned up taking Cordelia in his arms. \u201cYou\u2019re still nervous.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot as much, just a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel smiled. \u201cI love you.\u201d Angel captured her smile with his lips, gently pressing and teasing her mouth until it opened and accepted his tongue. His kiss became more persistent as Cordelia melted into his embrace. Her lips and tongue moving with his. With a groan, Angel finally released her. His eyes heavy with desire.<\/p>\n
Cordelia licked at her lips. \u201cI can kiss.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel took a deep breath, to give him time to beat down his need to rip off all of Cordelia\u2019s clothes and take her where she stood. \u201cYes, very well, too.\u201d He couldn\u2019t help it. He had to taste her again.<\/p>\n
This time Cordy moaned as their mouths parted. \u201cI better go. The sooner I go the sooner I come back.\u201d Angel stood still his eyes fixed on her lips. He leaned in again. Cordelia pushed him back. \u201cGo and hurry.\u201d<\/p>\n
With a frustrated nod, Angel turned.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel.\u201d Cordelia was back in his arms before he made it to the door.<\/p>\n
Repetitive and blaring horn blasts finally forced Angel to release Cordelia. \u201cSoon.\u201d He was out the door before Cordelia could say another word.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
\u201cHe was awful quiet.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHigh dosage Brood stuff. He must\u2019ve not been able to square things with the princess.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you think someone should go talk to him.\u201d Fred looked up the stairs.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, let him be. I imagine he is up there now trying to figure out how to make up with her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, I wouldn\u2019t be surprised if the Princess gets new clothes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe, but definitely a late night stalker.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cStalker?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel doesn\u2019t know that we know, but he has a habit of going to check up on Cordelia. It started two years ago, when she was attacked by Vocah.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cVocah? Oh, I read about him in Cordy\u2019s file. He\u2019s the demon that gave her the everlasting visions. She has so much courage.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBeen busy, haven\u2019t ya.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t like to be out of the loop. It helps with the clicks.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cVery smart, Fred. Anyway, Angel\u2019s nightly check ups seem to increase whenever Cordelia\u2019s been in danger or when she\u2019s mad at him.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhich is almost every friggin night.\u201d Gunn shook his head.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s sweet. Angel is so chivalrous.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s a damn nitwit. If Cordy ever found out, she\u2019d have him for dust. Ready for that movie?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe doesn\u2019t know?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNay, that\u2019s why it\u2019s called stalking.\u201d<\/p>\n
Chapter 15<\/b><\/p>\n
Cordelia looked at all of the clothes strewn on her bed. \u201cDennis.\u201d Cordelia tightened the towel around her body. Damn it where was that ghost? Why wouldn\u2019t he come out and help her choose. \u201cDennis.\u201d<\/p>\n
A large sweatshirt and the accompanying bulky pants were flung on the top of the pile. \u201cAre you nuts, I\u2019m not wearing those. Angel is coming over. How about this?\u201d Holding up a red silk camisole set. The sweat combo came flying up to her face.<\/p>\n
\u201cDennis.\u201d Cordelia knocked the shirt and pants down. \u201cAngel and I\u2026.\u201d She stared as her bedroom door slammed shut. \u201cOh. Nevermind. Maybe you should just stay in your wall tonight.\u201d Cordelia winced as another door slammed.<\/p>\n
Cordelia picked up the silk. It was\u2026too much. Cordelia tossed the garment aside. Why was this so hard? What does a girl wear to make love to the man she loves who she never thought would love her when she was scared to death. The sweats were beginning to look better and better for her peace of mind.<\/p>\n
Oh this was stupid. Angel would be over soon and she would still be in a towel. That might work. No, way too obvious. Errgh. Cordelia picked up a white lacey shift. White lace? Yuk. What possessed her to buy it? It was so not her. She tossed on it on the floor. Well, no decision was a decision.<\/p>\n
Cordelia grabbed her favorite pair of cotton pajama pants and a sleeveless t-shirt, both worn down and soft from repeated wear. If she was going to make a fool of herself, she was going to be comfortable. Cordelia pulled her hair up into a makeshift ponytail. Make up or no make up? No. Comfort was a priority. Sexy didn\u2019t seem to be possible right now.<\/p>\n
Cordelia glanced at the clock. Crap. Cordelia quickly gathered up all of the rejected clothes and tossed them into her closet. Cordelia looked at her bed. Shit.<\/p>\n
\u201cDennis did you change the sheets? Big pouter.\u201d Cordelia said, as she got no response. She hurried and looked in the hamper. Dirty sheets. Whew. Cordelia was just glad that Dennis had done it before knowing that Angel was coming over. Okay, she took a shower, picked out\u2026her favorite jammies with zip sex appeal. Maybe, she should go with the red silk.<\/p>\n
Cordelia flopped on the bed, rubbing her palms into her eyes. It wasn\u2019t the choice of an outfit that was making her frantic, she was just plain scared and nervous. Cordelia had been serious when she told Angel of her fear that she couldn\u2019t do it. Cordelia knew that making love to Angel would cement their love, but it would also strip her of any self-protection that she had remaining towards the vampire. She was already vulnerable enough to his decisions and moods. Her life was already connected and centered on the vampire.<\/p>\n
Could she also give him her heart and in doing so, give up herself. If she let herself love Angel, really love him; she would never be able to distance herself from the vampire. He would own her lock, stock and barrel.<\/p>\n
She flung herself down on the bed. Angel would be there soon, expecting Cordelia to make love with him. Why shouldn\u2019t he, she had pretty much told him that she loved him, yelled out that she wanted to make love to him. Oh god. Cordelia had no idea what to do. But she would have to decide something; she couldn\u2019t put her or Angel through anymore of her indecisions and denials caused by fears and insecurities.<\/p>\n
The rapid knocks on the door signaled that she had no more time to not make a decision. \u201cDennis.\u201d Oh, stupid ghost. \u201cComing. Sorry,\u201d Opening the door. \u201cDennis doesn\u2019t seem to want to be helpful.\u201d Cordelia shot a scowl over her shoulder to the empty air.<\/p>\n
Angel just stared. His eyes took in every part of the young woman before him. The pants were tied falling low emphasizing the swell of her hips and the flatness of her belly, the female version of a muscle shirt hugged her full breast, one loose strap hung down, leaving a smooth shoulder bare. Soft tendrils of silk graced her neck and shoulders as dark hair escaped from the ponytail on top of her head. He took a deep breath. Angel had never seen Cordelia look so beautiful, cute and sexy. He finally found his voice.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan I come in?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia rolled her eyes, looking to the floor and moving away resisting the urge to slam the door and run. \u201cDuh, invite given a long time ago.\u201d Cordelia refused to let the purpose of why Angel was here freak her out. Maybe if she just pretended it was like every other time that he came over, it would be okay.<\/p>\n
Of course, every other time, she didn\u2019t rush around like an idiot, worrying about taking a shower, what to wear or clean sheets. God. She had no idea what she was doing.<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought maybe Dennis revoked it.\u201d Angel smiled slightly. He knew that the ghost was protective of Cordelia. And the vampire wouldn\u2019t have blamed the ghost if he had tried to keep Angel away. Angel would have exorcised him, but Angel wouldn\u2019t have blamed him.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo. Everyone settled in to watch a movie?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEngrossed, didn\u2019t even see me leave.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia nodded and bit her lip. \u201cUm, You want some blood or something?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOr something. Cordy?\u201d, reaching and turning the young woman around to face him. True a back view of Cordelia was as enticing as the front, but Angel needed to see her eyes. Cordelia had avoided looking at him since her initial greeting.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel.\u201d Cordelia couldn\u2019t keep the catch out of her voice.<\/p>\n
\u201cTrust me, please.\u201d Caressing her soft cheeks down to the smoothness of her neck.<\/p>\n
\u201cI do.\u201d Stepping back away from his touch.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy? What is it? It\u2019s more than you just being nervous, you\u2019re still scared.\u201d Angel didn\u2019t understand. He had only been gone for a short time. What had happened? Angel knew that articles would never be enough to figure Cordelia out. Maybe there was a book out there somewhere.<\/p>\n
Cordelia turned away, fumbling and wringing her hands. When Angel wasn\u2019t being dense, he really did know her. Cordelia felt coolness of his touch on her shoulders pulling her into his chest. She tensed, and then allowed herself to lean back into his embrace. \u201cIf we do this, it will change everything.\u201d Her words soft.<\/p>\n
\u201cEverything is already changed. But if you don\u2019t want to. I understand.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t understand. Here I was thinking that you knew me so well.\u201d Cordelia\u2019s soft laugh coating the words with warmth.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re right, as usual, but I want to. Help me. I love you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia briefly hugged his arms around her and then moved away turning to face him.<\/p>\n
\u201cI am scared. Not of you, not even of my\u2026.inexperience.\u201d Cordelia blushed. She couldn\u2019t help it.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not something to be embarrassed about.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia shook her head. \u201cIt is- not that I haven\u2019t been a \u2018ho- just talking about it. But, I\u2019ll get over it. No. I\u2019m scared because making love will change everything- \u201c<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy-\u201c<\/p>\n
\u201c-For me. Angel.\u201d Cordelia bit her lips wondering how to put her fear into words wondering if she could even expose herself that much. Angel looked so lost. Now he was beginning to look scared. He deserved the truth. Cordelia just wasn\u2019t sure how to explain. Where was her trademark blunt honesty when she so desperately needed it? \u201cAngel\u2026I\u2026I am your seer, your friend-\u201c<\/p>\n
This time Angel didn\u2019t interrupt. Cordelia was trying to tell him something. Something that just may change everything again. Angel didn\u2019t want things to change. He wanted and needed Cordelia to love him, really love him. He also needed to listen.<\/p>\n
Cordelia shook her head starting over. \u201cYour life is my life. I have no other outside of your- our mission. I\u2019ve accepted that. You have my life, I don\u2019t know whether I can give you my heart.\u201d Tears welled up as she saw the expression on Angel\u2019s face.<\/p>\n
Fear overcame Angel\u2019s guilt. \u201cYou said you loved me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI said probably.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou love me.\u201d Angel\u2019s fear became anger. For the briefest moment Cordelia saw the gold of the demon\u2019s eyes. Angel calmed his demon, trying to understand. Cordelia did love him; he just didn\u2019t understand that\u2019s all.<\/p>\n
Cordelia struggled with her tears. God, she really did love Angel. He was right. It was too late. Things had already changed. But, she wasn\u2019t ready to concede. \u201cI don\u2019t know if I can.\u201d Cordelia took a deep breath. \u201c I haven\u2019t had the best track record with relationships, romantic or otherwise.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy-\u201c Angel had to convince her; he wasn\u2019t about to lose the feeling of being on top of the world. \u201cI\u2019m not Xander or anyone..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. You are the one person that can already hurt me the most. I don\u2019t know if I can give you anymore power over me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Power? Over Cordelia? Angel laughed. He couldn\u2019t help it, even when Cordelia glared at him. He choked trying to stop. \u201cNow who\u2019s being clueless?\u201d Angel started to laugh again.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel.\u201d Cordelia couldn\u2019t believe that Angel had the gall to laugh at her. Here she was being heart wrenchingly honest sharing her fears and he was laughing.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry but it\u2019s funny. Cordy\u2026\u201d Angel stopped laughing. He was smiling but his tone now serious. \u201cCordy. Think about what you said-your life is my life- well that works both ways- it always has and always will. And as for power- Cordelia you have the power over me, hell all of us. You are the heart of AI, but more importantly you are mine. You connect me to life. Without you I\u2019m nothing but a demon. I can\u2019t do this without you, not because of the visions, but because of you and who you are. You have the power to turn me into a blithering idiot. I went shopping for you. That\u2019s power.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou only did that because I was mad.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, and I couldn\u2019t stand it. I couldn\u2019t stand that you said I wasn\u2019t your friend. I had to do something. You wouldn\u2019t listen to me. You wouldn\u2019t let me close. I had to do something to make you smile at me. To make you see that I needed you back. You didn\u2019t see me giving Wesley or Gunn a new wardrobe.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou didn\u2019t give away their clothes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. But I did hurt them, but it was YOU that I needed forgiveness from. I wanted it from them but I needed it from you. I stay up all night watching your apartment to make sure your safe, I jump through portals, I \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou what? You stalk me?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel gulped, then glared. \u201cAnd you make me gulp. Vampires aren\u2019t supposed to gulp. No reason to. But because of you I\u2019ve developed some sort of nervous habit.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI make you gulp?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, face it’ you control my conscious and unconscious actions- I have. If I have any power over you it\u2019s minimal to what you have over me. My life is yours; my soul is yours and my dead heart, whatever that is worth. I don\u2019t deserve you. And if that were the reason that you said you couldn\u2019t love me, I would accept it. But not this, it\u2019s just wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s worth everything.\u201d A smile started to creep over Cordelia\u2019s face. There was something very heartwarming and convincing about Angel\u2019s frantic pacing and ranting. Angel had said everything had already changed.<\/p>\n
They had, but they also remained the same. Cordelia\u2019s life would always be intertwined with Angel\u2019s, just as his would be with hers. And obviously, they both had the power to hurt each other. Those things would remain whether Cordelia admitted her love or not.<\/p>\n
Angel was right, it was pretty clueless of her to think otherwise. Denying her love and Angel\u2019s now that she knew it existed wouldn\u2019t give her any self-protection; it would just make them both miserable. And maybe just maybe now they would also have the power to bring each other real happiness.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat is?\u201d Angel stopped mid pace.<\/p>\n
\u201cYour dead heart, silly.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSilly? I\u2019m silly?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia nodded. \u201cNot thinking I loved you. Silly.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel gaped, then slammed his jaws shut. \u201cDid I forget to mention that you also drive me insane.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s a gift.\u201d Cordelia giggled. \u201cUm, Angel can we make love now that you\u2019ve gotten that all out of your system.\u201d Lifting her eyes up.<\/p>\n
\u201cInsane.\u201d Angel growled not even hesitating in his stride to pick up the giggling love of his life.<\/p>\n