{"id":6377,"date":"2015-07-21T21:05:50","date_gmt":"2015-07-21T20:05:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/?p=6377"},"modified":"2015-07-21T22:33:08","modified_gmt":"2015-07-21T21:33:08","slug":"its-a-woman-thing-1-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/2015\/07\/21\/its-a-woman-thing-1-2\/","title":{"rendered":"It’s a Woman Thing. 1-2"},"content":{"rendered":"

Title: It\u2019s a Woman Thing<\/b>
\nAuthor: <\/b>
\nPosted here: <\/b>08\/05
\nEmail<\/b><\/a>
\nRating: <\/b>NC-17
\nCategory: <\/b>
\nContent: <\/b>C\/A
\nSummary: <\/b>This was inspired by an e-mail, I don\u2019t know if an unauthored e-mail that has been forwarded around the globe most likely countless times needs to be disclaimed- but if it does- the section of this story under The Real Truth by Bob<\/em>– is such a forwarded e-mail. It was forwarded to me, after being forwarded, and forwarded and forwarded. I have no idea who or where it originated. If someone knows- you can tell me. Just know I didn\u2019t make it up. I did change the format a bit, but not the content.
\nSpoilers: <\/b>S3 post-Fred arrival
\nDisclaimer: <\/b>The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
\nDistribution: <\/b>if you have asked before on any of my other stuff and I said yes<\/em> (which, I would have) it\u2019s yours- that goes for all my stuff if anybody wants it- I just always forget to put it in the headings. Okay that was way too long\u2026.On with the fluff.
\nNotes: <\/b>
\nThanks\/Dedication:<\/b>Oh, one more thing- since I haven\u2019t finished \u2018In Search of Happily Ever After\u2019 yet- Dave<\/b> still gets the dedication\u2026.I figure he would appreciate the contents of the e-mail, he probably wrote it.
\nFeedback:<\/b>\u00a0Please.<\/p>\n

\n

Chapter 1<\/b><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not, Angel? It will be fun. You like to have fun, you\u2019ve even begun to grow a fun bone in that formerly brood bod of yours, evidenced by your unbridled passion for Charleston Heston movies. Granted, not seeing the complete fun there, but hey, it\u2019s a start.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA double showing, two for one of Charlton Heston is fun. What you are asking is not fun. A movie is shown in a theater, a dark place where you can enjoy the film without mobs of strange humans or demons banging into you, talking to you. And it’s CHARLTON, not Charleston. A Carnival is not fun. Carnivals are seedy, dirty places with throes of people milling about bothering you. I\u2019m not going.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFine. We won\u2019t go.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCordy, you can still go.\u201d Angel thought a moment about Cordelia wandering around a carnival alone. Something could happen to her. That wouldn\u2019t work. \u201c Well, as long as Gunn and Wesley go with you. Fred, can go too.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cordelia raised both of her brows at the vampire\u2019s gallant permission. \u201cGee, thanks a lot. Gunn and Wesley don\u2019t need to learn how to be social and have fun. Or at least Gunn doesn\u2019t. I\u2019ve given up on Wesley.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat, Mr. \u2018I\u2019d rather stay at home and read boring demon lore from before the dawning of time\u2019?\u201d Cordelia raised her brow at the indignant former watcher.<\/p>\n

Wesley immediately sat down. \u201cI\u2019ll be happy to accompany you and Fred. It will be fun. Gunn?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWouldn\u2019t miss it, hey girl, I\u2019ll win you a big stuff bear.\u201d Gunn nudged at Fred.<\/p>\n

\u201cGunn, do I need to remind you that I am a much better dart player than you. I imagine, I\u2019ll win the biggest stuff bear for Fred.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe in your stuffy little \u2018pub\u2019. Gunn\u2019s fingers quoted in the air. \u201cBut wait until we get into the real world, where the action is.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cReally, it\u2019s a challenge then.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re on. Wait to sit back and weep, fancyboy, as I win all of the stuffed bears, puppies, kitties and whatever else they have.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cKnock the testosterone down a level, boys.\u201d Cordelia raised both brows at the men.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, sure thing. Can\u2019t wait to go.\u201d Both Wesley and Gunn said in unison, perching on the edge of the desk.<\/p>\n

Cordelia smiled. \u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Both Wesley and Gunn smiled and nudged each other. They stopped suddenly as Cordelia looked back at them.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis will be fun, the last carnival I went to was over ten years ago in Texas. Though, it wasn\u2019t really a carnival. It was a fair. It had horses, cows, and pigs, but it did have some rides, clowns and cotton candy. And I got sick from the cotton candy and the ride that hung you upside down. It just kept you there, swinging back and forth back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.\u201d<\/p>\n

Fred\u2019s hands swayed together in time with her statement. \u201cCompletely defying the laws of physics, should have fallen splat to the ground.\u201d Fred suddenly clapped her hands loudly.<\/p>\n

The room jumped, as everyone realized that they had been swaying along with Fred\u2019s speech.<\/p>\n

\u201cI did win a goldfish, though, it died. I had fun. Angel, you\u2019re sure you don\u2019t want to come?\u201d Fred went on oblivious to the others\u2019 green tinged expressions.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo. I’m not going.\u201d<\/p>\n

Wesley and Gunn cringed at the loud drawn out sigh that escaped Cordelia\u2019s lips.<\/p>\n

\u201cCordy, I don\u2019t want to go. I\u2019m not going and that\u2019s final.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFine. I said it was fine. Really, Angel, It\u2019s okay.\u201d With another loud sigh Cordelia went upstairs.<\/p>\n

\u201cAh, man, did you have to piss Cordy off, she will be in ragin\u2019 princess mode all evening. What a barrel of laughs this will be.\u201d Gunn shook his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not fair, Charles. Cordy just wants Angel to enjoy himself.\u201d Fred shook her head and raised her brow at the stubborn vampire.<\/p>\n

\u201cShit.\u201d Gunn said under his breath and nudged at Wesley. \u201cDid you see that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Wesley merely nodded with a very unhappy look on his face.<\/p>\n

\u201cCordy\u2019s not mad, she said so.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re right, Angel. I\u2019m sure Gunn is making a big deal about nothing. I\u2019m going to help Cordy. I don\u2019t know what she is doing, but I\u2019m sure I can help her, so I\u2019m going to go help her.\u201d With a loud sigh, Fred went upstairs.<\/p>\n

As soon as Fred was out of sight, Gunn jumped up from the corner of the desk. \u201cDid you see that? Did you see that? Fred raised her brows and sighed. Both. She\u2019s been hanging with the princess too long. Man, Angel you got to do something. Go, tell Cordy you\u2019re sorry or something. Do whatever she wants.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you talking about? I haven\u2019t done anything wrong. All I said was that I didn\u2019t want to go to the carnival. Cordelia isn\u2019t mad.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, she is and now so is Fred. Let the princess be mad at you, that\u2019s your deal, but don\u2019t drag Fred into Cordy\u2019s pissedness. That just ain\u2019t right.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you\u2026\u201d? Angel eyes widened at the glare both Wesley and Gunn were shooting him<\/p>\n

\u201cFine. Nothing. How old are you? The vamp knows nothing bout women. Didn\u2019t he learn anything in that long life of his?\u201d Gunn shook his head at Wesley.<\/p>\n

Wesley took off his glasses and wiped the lenses. \u201cNow, Gunn, it\u2019s not fair to blame Angel, entirely.\u201d Wesley returned his glasses to his head and glared at the confused vampire. \u201cAfter all he was Angelus for a good portion of that long life.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo? Can\u2019t he at least pretend to understand? A pissed Cordelia and a pissed Fred is not something I want to deal with. Who knew Fred could get pissed.\u201d Gunn slammed his long body into a chair, ignoring Angel\u2019s yelp of \u2018Hey\u2019 and subsequent hurt look.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll I said was\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDamn\u2019t Angel read this.\u201d Wesley threw a magazine at Angel.<\/p>\n

Angel looked at the cover. \u201cWhere did you get this and why should I read it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCordy\u2019s desk and because it\u2019s relevant.\u201d<\/p>\n

Angel turned the fashion magazine around in his hands. He couldn\u2019t understand how a magazine that portrayed an emaciated woman\/child on the cover was relevant.<\/p>\n

\u201cWes?\u201d Angel felt definitely out of whatever bizarre loop, the others were traveling.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot the cover. Read it.\u201d Wesley pushed the magazine back towards Angel.<\/p>\n

Angel glowered and picked up the book. He couldn\u2019t get past the cover. \u201cWhy? This\u2026.woman, looks ill.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s Kate Moss, one of the highest paid models.\u201d<\/p>\n

Angel looked again at the cover. \u201cReally? But she\u2019s not appealing, no shape, nothing to hold on to. I mean Cordy is better than this. Sure, she\u2019s thin but Cordy has\u2026.\u201d His hands involuntarily shaped an hourglass in the air.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhoa big guy, visual\u2019s not needed. We just want you to fix the fuck up that you created.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat, oh.\u201d Angel looked at his hands sheepishly and dropped them immediately. Maybe, he was entering into the bizarre loop, because Angel had no idea what was going on or why he was still imagining Cordelia in the red slinky nothing that the cover girl was wearing.<\/p>\n

Angel looked perplexed at the men. \u201cAll I said was\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Wesley ripped the magazine from the vampire’s grip. He shuffled through some pages until it landed on article. \u201cRead this. Then fix it.\u201d<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

The Real Truth by Bob. <\/b><\/p>\n

What a woman won\u2019t tell you, but Bob has figured out. Read and memorize.<\/p>\n

Words Women Use the Most.<\/p>\n

FINE <\/b>
\nThis is the word that a woman will use at the end of any argument that she feels she is right about but needs to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.<\/p>\n

FIVE MINUTES <\/b>
\nThis is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it’s an even trade.<\/p>\n

NOTHING <\/b>
\nThis means something and you should be on your toes. Nothing<\/i> is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. Nothing<\/i> usually signifies an argument that will last Five Minutes<\/i> and end with the word Fine<\/i>.<\/p>\n

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows) <\/b>
\nThis is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over Nothing<\/i> and will end with the word Fine. <\/i><\/p>\n

GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows) <\/b>
\nThis means, “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care”. You will get a raised eyebrow Go Ahead<\/i> in just a few minutes, followed by Nothing<\/i>and Fine<\/i> and she will talk to you in about Five Minutes <\/i>when she cools off.<\/p>\n

LOUD SIGH <\/b>
\nThis is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A Loud Sigh<\/i> means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over Nothing. <\/i><\/p>\n

SOFT SIGH <\/b>
\nAgain, not a word, but a verbal statement. Soft Sighs<\/i> are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is do not move or breathe and she will stay content.<\/p>\n

OH <\/b>
\nThis word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; “Oh, let me get that”. Or, “Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night”. If she says Oh<\/i> before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is Fine<\/i> when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. Oh<\/i> as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows Go ahead<\/i> followed by acts so unspeakable that I can’t bring myself to write about them.<\/p>\n

THAT’S OKAY <\/b>
\nThis is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. That’s Okay<\/i> means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. That’s Okay<\/i> is often used with the word Fine<\/i> and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow Go Ahead.<\/i> At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.<\/p>\n

PLEASE DO <\/b>
\nThis is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a That’s Okay. <\/i><\/p>\n

THANKS <\/b>
\nA woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you’re welcome.<\/p>\n

THANKS A LOT <\/b>
\nThis is much different than Thanks.<\/i> A woman will say, Thanks A Lot <\/i>when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the Loud Sigh<\/i>. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the Loud Sigh<\/i>, as she will only tell you Nothing. <\/i><\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Angel glanced up from the article tentatively. \u201cThis isn\u2019t real. Is it? It can\u2019t be. This is so stereotypical and Cordy\u2019s is no stereotype. Cordy isn\u2019t like this. No woman is. And doesn’t it sound just a bit sarcastic? Who is this Bob person?”<\/p>\n

“A published author that’s who. He’s a regular in the magazine. Know’s his stuff.”<\/p>\n

“You’ve read more of Cordy’s magazines? Why?”<\/p>\n

“Not the point, the point is we’re trying to educate you.” Gunn waved away Angel’s question.<\/p>\n

Angel looked at the article then at his friends.<\/p>\n

Gunn shrugged. “Look at the evidence, man. Cordy wanted you to go, you said no. I counted three fines<\/i>– two in one sentence accompanied by it\u2019s okay<\/i>and a loud sigh,<\/i> which brings the total of sighs to two. And also two raised brows.<\/i> She may not have said go ahead<\/i>, but I think you have to count the brows going up. Wes?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI agree, the brows going up can\u2019t be ignored. But I say there were at least four raised brows<\/i>– Cordy raised both together a couple of times, that\u2019s got to be worse. And then there\u2019s Fred, our sweet innocent Fred, one- raised brow<\/i> and a nothing.<\/i> And we all know now that means something.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t forget the loud sigh,<\/i> she sighed, our little Fred sighed. Man.\u201d<\/p>\n

Wesley nodded. \u201cI was getting to it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Angel looked back at the article. Wesley and Gunn seemed really sure about what they were saying. Really what did Angel know about women. It was barely four years ago, he was lurking in shadows, not saying much of anything to humans, except ‘Where’s Buffy?’.<\/p>\n

And what about Buffy, it’s not like they had long deep conversations except about the ‘end of the world’ and saying that they couldn’t ever be together -over and over again.<\/p>\n

Even this last time, after Buffy came back from the dead, what did they talk about- ‘saving the world’ and agreeing that they didn’t belong together- a step up from crying and brooding that they couldn’t be together, but still not much of a conversation.<\/p>\n

And Cordy was definitely not happy about him not wanting to go to the carnival. That was easy. When his seer was happy, her face and eyes lit up in a fantastic smile. She wasn’t smiling, not even a little bit.<\/p>\n

Angel was starting to get nervous. \u201cHow long have you know about this?\u201d Angel snapped at the magazine. \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you tell me? Am I in trouble?\u201d<\/p>\n

Wesley nodded. \u201cIt\u2019s in black and white, Angel.\u201d Wesley poked at the article.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo true, man, sorry. But, Damn\u2019t you made Fred raise her brows<\/i> and say nothing<\/i>. Do something. I\u2019m sure Fred won\u2019t be mad if Cordy\u2019s happy. They\u2019ve bonded or something. It\u2019s a woman thing. It’s like a secret club or something. Take the article, it was all secret until Bob busted the code. Man, that guy’s good. God only knows what Cordy and Fred are up to up there, talking, planning, plotting. It’s damn frightening AND it’s all your fault.\u201d Gunn looked accusingly at Angel. \u201cFix it.\u201d<\/p>\n

“And Cordy says I’m melodramatic”<\/p>\n

“You are. I’m speaking the truth.”<\/p>\n

“I’m not..”<\/p>\n

\u201cGunn\u2019s right, Angel. I\u2019m afraid it is your fault. Cordelia made a point to tell us Thank you-<\/i>, which Bob\u2019s say she meant. And we said you,re welcome<\/i> like we were supposed to. You, she told Thanks a lot<\/i>. We forgot to count that one.\u201d He turned to Gunn.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure did, I think it was right after a raised brow<\/i>, man Angel, you really are in trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n

Angel looked quickly back at the article then at his friends. \u201cAll I said was that I didn\u2019t want to go to the carnival. I don\u2019t.\u201d Angel\u2019s normally deep voice took on a definite whine.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but the princess wants you to. Hey man, it\u2019s your choice. She ain\u2019t mad at us. And, actually, Fred ain\u2019t either. We\u2019re going to the carnival.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right.\u201d Wesley looked hopeful. \u201cFred said nothing<\/i> and raised her brows<\/i> at Angel.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cActually, English, she did the brow thingy to us too, but the nothing<\/i> and loud sigh<\/i> was all Angel. And a multitude of stuff big poofy bears should make her cool with us. I say we put a hold on the challenge and work together on this one.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, yes, I can see your logic. Yes, together.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about Cordy? I want her to be cool with me, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAngel, Cordy\u2019s your deal. You\u2019re the one that thinks she\u2019s better looking then Kate Moss.\u201d Gunn shaped an hourglass in the air. \u201cBesides, it\u2019s your fault that she\u2019s mad.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t think that\u2026.that\u2026.skinny cover girl is more attractive then Cordelia.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you really want us to answer that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Angel thought about Wesley and Gunn picturing Cordelia in that red piece of nothing that he shouldn\u2019t even be picturing her in. He growled. \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDidn\u2019t think so. So, what are you going to do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGoing to the carnival, obviously.\u201d Angel ripped the article out of the magazine, stuffed it in his pocket and went to the stairs. If he was going to have to face Cordelia, he wasn\u2019t going unprepared.<\/p>\n

\u201cThought so. Hey, English where you going?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPractice.\u201d Wesley motioned throwing darts.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood idea. Hey, do we have any milk bottles around. I remember when I was a kid there was this thing where you had to throw a ring around the bottle necks to get the prize.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, milk bottles.\u201d Wesley thought a moment. \u201cThe Sacred Tibetan burial urn, it\u2019s the same size. Just don\u2019t recite any of the engravings, the urn is purported to contain a malignant spirit.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot a problem. What about rings?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSumerian prayer discs.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m on it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

Chapter 2<\/b><\/p>\n

\u201cCordelia, whatcha ya doing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing.\u201d Cordelia didn’t even look up, her attention occupied by picking at non-existent threads on the comforter.<\/p>\n

Fred sat next to the other woman on the bed. \u201cCordy.\u201d<\/p>\n

“Hmmph.” Acknowledging Fred’s doubtful tone. \u201cI think I\u2019ve caught the brood bug from the master brooder. Why, won\u2019t he go? It would be fun. Angel needs more fun.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d Fred pushed up her glasses. \u201cHe\u2019s going to the movies more,\u201d she said trying to suggest a positive.<\/p>\n

Cordelia grimaced, completely discounting the other brunette\u2019s attempt. \u201cYeah, Angel’s going to dark places where his chances of human contact is limited.\u201d Cordelia breathed out deeply, shrugging. \u201cFred, he has to get use to being out and about. He\u2019s going to be human some day. Angel can\u2019t be a dork forever.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAngel\u2019s not a dork, he\u2019s a hero.\u201d Fred wanted Angel to go to the carnival. If he went then Cordelia would be happy and if she was happy everyone would have a good time. But, calling Angel a dork was almost blasphemous.<\/p>\n

Cordelia shook her head, scoffing at Fred’s reverent tone. \u201cSure, when he\u2019s fighting demons or saving the helpless, but in social situations- big fat dork. The last time we all went to dinner Angel attacked a woman because of her shawl. It was embarrassing.\u201d Cordelia scrunched up her face.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen I threw up. Okay that may have been more embarrassing, but I had food poisoning, Angel was just being a goofball.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat was wrong with her shawl?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing, it was a perfectly fine, expensive, Laura Mina original. Mr. Goofy Hero thought it was a Brahenran Battle Shroud. Geez. It was obvious that it was made out of silk, not the skin of dead kids.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAngel was either looking around all twitchy and nervous or going on and on about how in the ‘old days’ he could get a room and a tavern wench for the price of a bottle of wine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh.” Fred reluctantly acknowledged. “Dork.”<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Angel paced back and forth, Bob’s article firmly in his hands. He was growing more and more annoyed with Wesley and Gunn. Would it have been that difficult for them to have shown it to him before now?<\/p>\n

How many times had Angel unknowingly stepped into the trap of women’s speak? It had been hard enough learning how to interpret Cordyisms, now this? Since when did that’s okay mean things weren’t okay? Angel took one more look at the article. Well, he knew now.<\/p>\n

Angel raised his hands to knock. Angel wasn\u2019t caving. He was just making the most logical and rational decision based on the circumstances. The same decision he would\u2019ve made had Gunn and Wesley shown common decency and given him the article in the first place. Angel would have known as soon as Cordelia uttered fine, that things weren\u2019t fine.<\/p>\n

And Angel would have been able to make his decision based on all the facts, weighing the pros and cons correctly.<\/p>\n

The pros of not going to the carnival were obvious- the cons were also now obvious. Cordelia was mad. Well, Cordelia mad was not a good thing, potentially more disturbing than the thought of getting jostled and bothered by all the humans sure to be milling around the carnival.<\/p>\n

No. Had Angel known he would have said yes to Cordelia as soon as the fine was uttered. Angel knocked on the door.<\/p>\n

Angel shifted from one foot to another waiting, the article and his hands securely hidden his pockets.<\/p>\n

Cordelia arched her brows at the vampire, her body leaning up against the doorframe.<\/p>\n

Angel clenched his fist around the article. Bob was right. Angel could actually hear Cordelia\u2019s unspoken dare. \u201cUm, Cordy, I changed my mind.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cordelia\u2019s eyes widened, standing straight. \u201cYou what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI want to go, I\u2019m sorry I said I didn\u2019t want to go. I really want to go.\u201d The words rushed out ending in a tentative smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cReally? You want to go? What about \u2018carnivals are dirty with oh my god’,” her fingers raised in quotation marks, \u201call those people milling around?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI like people. I wanna get out and be one of them. I just forgot. You\u2019re right. I\u2019m sure it will be fun.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cReally?\u201d<\/p>\n

Angel nodded, hoping that his expression was convincing. So, far so good. The eyebrows were no longer raised and there hadn\u2019t been a loud sigh or anything else on Cordy\u2019s face except surprise.<\/p>\n

\u201cHa, of course I\u2019m right, took you long enough to remember I\u2019m always right,\u201d her surprise turning to satisfaction. Cordelia’s face brightened in a wide smile. \u201cWe\u2019ll have fun, I promise. Thanks. Angel\u2019s going to the carnival.\u201d Happily turning to Fred.<\/p>\n

Fred bounced on the bed. \u201cYeah, now we’ll have fun.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGive us five minutes, then we can go.\u201d Cordelia pushed Angel out of the room.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

\u201cWell?\u201d Wesley paused in his dart throw as Angel entered the room. Gunn put down the Sumarian discs. \u201cYeah, what happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCordy, said thanks.\u201d Angel smiled.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood, Good.\u201d Wesley nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cFred- how was Fred?\u201d Gunn asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cJumping on the bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood save, man.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey said they needed five minutes to get ready.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFive minutes?\u201d<\/p>\n

Angel nodded this time in the know.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, that gives us plenty of time to practice.\u201d Gunn picked the discs back up, handing one to Angel. \u201cHey, English do you wanta order a pizza?\u201d<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Gunn and Wesley were arguing over whether to order pepperoni or sausage when the young women came down the stairs. \u201cYou’re SO NOT ordering a pizza. We\u2019re going to the carnival.\u201d<\/p>\n

Angel halted his throw and turned along with Wesley and Gunn at the sound of Cordelia\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n

Cordelia scowled at the confused look on the men\u2019s faces. \u201cI said five minutes.\u201d Her sigh was loud and clear.<\/p>\n

\u201cUm, yeah, but five minutes means\u2026\u201d All three men started in unison.<\/p>\n

\u201cMeans five minutes. Geez. Come on, let\u2019s go. Don\u2019t panic, there\u2019ll be food at the carnival.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut..\u201d Angel stammered attempting to bring out the article. Bob said that a woman\u2019s five minutes meant a half hour. It had been barely five minutes since Angel came down announcing that the women would be five minutes.<\/p>\n

That left the men with at least twenty-five minutes or so said Bob. Angel would show Cordelia.<\/p>\n

\u201cAngel,\u201d both Wesley and Gunn shook their heads at Angel\u2019s actions. Angel raised his eyes in question.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s up with you all? Why are you all being so dorky?\u201d Cordelia called from the doorway. “Come on.”<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing, nothing.\u201d Wesley said hurriedly, giving a quick uneasy smile towards Cordelia and Fred. Both Angel and Gunn shot the former watcher a look. Wesley\u2019s eyes widened as he realized what he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cRight. Nothing. I don\u2019t even want to know what your \u2018nothing\u2019 is. Let\u2019s go.\u201d Cordelia rolled her eyes at Fred. \u201cMen.\u201d<\/p>\n

Fred nodded. \u201cDorks.\u201d Repeating Cordy\u2019s earlier word. She kind of liked it. It was fun to say. And based on the expressions on the guys’ faces- appropriate.<\/p>\n

Angel pulled Wesley and Gunn back from following Cordelia and Fred out of the door. \u201cBob said\u2026\u201d Angel went back into his pants pocket.<\/p>\n

\u201cAngel. Don\u2019t.\u201d Wesley pushed at Angel\u2019s hand. \u201cThey can\u2019t know we\u2019re on to them.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBob\u2019s right. This was just a fluke. Probably just some plot to keep us on our toes. We better be careful.\u201d Gunn nodded confidently.<\/p>\n

Angel considered. Cordelia usually did take longer than five minutes to get ready to go anywhere that didn\u2019t include demon killing. \u201cWhat do you think they\u2019re up to? I\u2019m going to the carnival. She said thanks. Bob’s article said that was good, she didn’t say thanks alot-that’s the bad one. Why would they be plotting anything? You said that Bob wrote other articles. Where are they? Do they say anything about plots?\u201d Angel scanned the room for more women\u2019s magazines.<\/p>\n

\u201cWill you guys hurry up? Geez.\u201d Sighing loudly from the doorway. Cordelia\u2019s sigh was echoed by the other brunette.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo time, man. We\u2019re just gon\u2019 have to wing it.\u201d Gunn hurried to the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cGunn\u2019s right.\u201d Wesley quickly followed.<\/p>\n

Angel glanced nervously around hoping that another one of Bob\u2019s articles would magically appear.<\/p>\n

\u201cAngel.\u201d<\/p>\n

Damn. He felt like he was going into minefield without any hope of seeing the mines before they blew him to smithereens. Angel nodded and went towards Cordelia\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n

Chapter 3<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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