Part 6<\/b><\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve got to hit the little Slayer\u2019s room,\u201d Buffy pushed her empty iced tea glass away. As it seemed that Willow wasn\u2019t going to tag along, she added, \u201cBack in a flash.\u201d<\/p>\n
Willow Rosenberg sat with Angel while the usual Friday-night mayhem and madness at the Bronze surrounded them. She saw that the vampire was staring down into his glass of Irish Whiskey, though she had not seen him take a single sip.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe have to talk,\u201d Willow tugged on the sleeve of his jacket.<\/p>\n
Angel looked up with a faraway stare in his eyes, something she caught him doing quite a lot since his return from hell. The first time she had seen him, the vampire looked like he was a different person. Not his usual hunky, heroic, gentlemanly self at all. He was terse, angry at the world and almost scared of his own shadow. Not to mention badly groomed.<\/p>\n
Hell apparently hath no mirrors. Even if it did, the vampire couldn\u2019t see his reflection, so Willow couldn\u2019t fault him for that. Giles had told her that time flowed differently in other dimensions. If it was truly Hell or just a hellish realm on another plane, Willow had no clue.<\/p>\n
It seemed that Angel had spent far longer than ten months in that place, but even he had not been aware of the full passage of time. It was only the last couple of weeks that he was acting semi-normal. He was certainly not aware of the reason Willow needed to talk to him tonight without Buffy overhearing.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnytime, Willow,\u201d the vampire was waiting.<\/p>\n
Well, she had his attention. \u201cNo time like the present. Speaking of presents\u2014 it\u2019s Buffy\u2019s birthday next month. I figured we needed to start to prepare.\u201d<\/p>\n
A year, Angel reminded himself. It had only been a year, yet it seemed so long ago. \u201cThis isn\u2019t something I can be a part of, Willow.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n
Surely the redhead wasn\u2019t that clueless. Angel swallowed down his drink in one gulp and thought he might need another. \u201cWhat happened on Buffy seventeenth birthday?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ooh! Pop quiz.<\/p>\n
Willow\u2019s bright smile suddenly fell as she remembered that was when all of their troubles began. \u201cSpike and Dru sent Buffy an arm in a box, part of the disassembled Judge.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd the next night?\u201d Angel prompted darkly.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh. Well\u2014 uh. Just\u2014 hmm. I-I-I don\u2019t think I need to remind you, Angel. Heh!\u201d She scrambled for a way to get out of this conversation. All Willow wanted was to figure out how to give Buffy a small, but memorable eighteenth birthday celebration.<\/p>\n
The vampire leaned close crowding into Willow\u2019s personal space as he told her, \u201cThat was the night I fucked up everything. Even her. Not to mention myself. Lost my soul and took out your closest friends with a smile on my face.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat wasn\u2019t you, Angel,\u201d Willow frowned. \u201cIt was Angelus.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou just don\u2019t get it, do you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Willow shook her head. Apparently not.<\/p>\n
\u201cI am Angelus.\u201d The vampire was staring straight into Willow\u2019s eyes as he repeated with more emphasis, \u201cI *am* Angelus. He isn\u2019t everything I am, but I am all that he is or has ever been. A vampire with all the instincts of a creature of the night.\u201d<\/p>\n
Willow gulped silently.<\/p>\n
\u201cEverything I did as Angelus, I can remember,\u201d Angel told her. \u201cNow ask me if I regret what I did that night?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo?\u201d Raising a dark brow in her direction, Angel saw her defiant little face. It was her resolve face, he realized. \u201cIs that defiance or just a good guess?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI-I don\u2019t want to know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou started this.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid not!\u201d Willow countered crossing her arms like a shield in front of her. \u201cI wanted to talk about presents.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel laughed a sound that emanated from deep in his chest having little to do with good humor. \u201cWhat do you suggest I give Buffy for her birthday? Jewelry? Roses? Another soul-rending moment in my bed?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow about a little respect?\u201d Willow jumped off of the chair, facing him with fury. \u201cIt\u2019s not everyday that a girl sacrifices the man she loves to save the world. Remember that the next time you\u2019re feeling sorry for yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n
Pushing past him, she stormed toward the main exit of the Bronze.<\/p>\n
Stupid vampire! He didn\u2019t need to get so growly just because he didn\u2019t want to celebrate Buffy\u2019s birthday. Maybe Angel even had good reason to want to stay away. That didn\u2019t give him the right to be a jerk.<\/p>\n
So what if he\u2019d spent a hundred years in hell. He was now back in Sunnydale and alive\u2014 undead again. That seemed like a good reason to celebrate. Angel should be thanking her for giving him back his soul, but noooooo. He was all dark and broody.<\/p>\n
In the two months that he had been back, Angel had come a long way from where he was upon his return. Willow wasn\u2019t certain that he was back to his normal self. She had her doubts. He was still acting strangely. Antsy, like he expected the boogeyman to jump out and surprise him. Especially anytime he started thinking about Cordelia.<\/p>\n
It didn\u2019t even take someone saying her name. Just something that would remind him of her and he was instantly lost in his thoughts again.<\/p>\n
Then Angel would be guilt-driven because he had killed her, seduced her and turned her all on that night after Buffy\u2019s birthday. Okay! So maybe she was an idiot for bringing it up. How could Buffy\u2019s eighteenth birthday possibly be as memorable as what followed the last one?<\/p>\n
Mentally ranting, Willow charged directly into the path of someone trying to enter the Bronze. Looking up, she gave an automatic apology before continuing on. \u201cOops! Sorry, Cordy.\u201d<\/p>\n
The vampiress watched Willow walk ten feet before she froze in place. Standing stiffly, she kept facing forward. Cordelia heard her heartbeat quicken and her breathing halt as the redhead realized what had happened.<\/p>\n
Hello, Willow. Come to me.<\/i><\/p>\n
Peeping over her shoulder, Willow blinked several times trying to clear away the image she saw there. It was really Cordelia. Alive! Well, not so alive, but not totally dead like they thought. Gosh! Wow! This was amazing. Buffy hadn\u2019t killed her after all.<\/p>\n
Willow!<\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cOh, yeah. How rude of me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia pulled her aside over beyond the edge of the building and into the alley that led behind the Bronze. She had fond memories of that alley.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re taller,\u201d Cordelia assessed. \u201cAnd you aren\u2019t dressed like a clown. Good. That\u2019s good.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks\u2014 I think.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t thank me yet, Willow. I have plans for you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Willow frowned. \u201cPlans?\u201d<\/p>\n
You\u2019re going to help me.<\/i><\/p>\n
Staring deeply into Cordelia\u2019s hazel eyes, Willow thought about the words sounding in her head. She wasn\u2019t like that stupid vamp, Angel\u2014 unwilling to lend a hand even for a happy occasion. Willow was a friendly-type person. Not like some broody creatures of the night.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGo to the Crawford Street mansion,\u201d instructed the vampiress confidently. \u201cWait for me there.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia paused before heading back toward the entrance of the Bronze. \u201cAnd Willow?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHuh?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t let my minions give you a hard time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n
Willow watched for a moment as Cordelia headed into the club. As soon as the vamp was out of sight, she dutifully headed in the direction of the mansion. Along the way, Willow realized that this was the first time she had actually seen Vamp Cordy.<\/p>\n
Everything Buffy had told her was true. Cordelia was even more beautiful than before and it was almost disappointing that Willow hadn\u2019t gotten to see her game face.<\/p>\n
It occurred to Willow that she probably shouldn\u2019t want to see the vamp\u2019s fangy face, but it was still interesting from a purely demonological sense. Then her thoughts drifted to her destination. The Crawford Street mansion. Angel\u2019s house.<\/p>\n
Why was Cordy sending her to Angel\u2019s house? Oh, well! Maybe one of those minions knew the reason.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere\u2019s Willow?\u201d Buffy had detoured to the bar to get another iced tea. Hopping up on her stool, she looked at Angel expectantly. He seemed distracted again. \u201cAngel? Earth to Angel.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe left.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHuh.\u201d Buffy wasn\u2019t so slow that she didn\u2019t realize something had happened between the two. \u201cWhat was it this time? The \u2018you shouldn\u2019t mess around with my soul\u2019 speech? How about the \u2018you\u2019re being too hard on Buffy\u2019 rant?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was the \u2018I\u2019m a vampire\u2014 leave me the hell alone\u2019 threat.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAh! One of my personal favorites.\u201d Buffy sipped at her tea and then poked at the lemon slice amongst the ice with her straw. \u201cWhat brought this joyful moment on?\u201d<\/p>\n
During the past two months, Buffy had done her best to drag Angel back from the depths of the hell he seemed to be determined to stay in. She wasn\u2019t certain how he freed himself from his dimensional prison, but he had come back to the world literally naked in form and practically feral. Taking him to the mansion, she had kept him there hidden away from Giles and Willow\u2014 afraid of their reaction to his return.<\/p>\n
In the beginning, Buffy had almost staked him\u2014 twice. Two occasions where Angel\u2019s behavior was so vile that she felt certain his soul had never been restored. Those painful moments were difficult to forget, but she was trying. She kept reminding herself that Angel told her he loved her. She needed to believe that even if it was not her name on his lips the moment Acathla\u2019s vortex sucked him in that Angel still loved her.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s happening again,\u201d Angel told her. \u201cSomething I can\u2019t describe. Something I can\u2019t explain. That feeling that\u2014 I just don\u2019t know. Whatever it is, my demon wants to come out fighting.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re not used to going so long without patrolling,\u201d Buffy figured. \u201cYou miss a good fight. You\u2019re just anxious to get back in the game.\u201d<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Almost as soon as Cordelia entered the Bronze, there were people flocked around her. It wasn\u2019t like the night of Valentine\u2019s Day when Angelus brought her dancing. This was Friday and anyone who was anybody was here tonight.<\/p>\n
The girls still known as former Cordettes caught sight of her immediately and were peppering her with questions and comments before she even made it ten steps into the club.<\/p>\n
\u201cOmigod! You are so not dead!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere have you been?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGirl, you look hot in that dress! I love the shoes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo what was with the cancelled funeral? I\u2019ll have you know I even brought flowers to your memorial at the school and black is so not my color.\u201d<\/p>\n
Within moments, Cordelia spun a tale of complete balderdash that had her former friends gushing at the tragic romance of it all. Her parents had apparently discovered that she was seeing an older guy\u2014 a mature, but otherwise hot guy. They were planning to elope, but her parents had swept in from Europe at the last minute taking her with them.<\/p>\n
Some Jane Doe had stolen her Corvette and was dumb enough to be caught dead in it. The police thought it was her just because the thief had her hairstyle and was wearing some of the clothes she had packed in the trunk for the honeymoon.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat happened to your tan?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMy parents took me to Alaska. Daddy was working on a financial deal. It\u2019s night there most of the time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt is?\u201d<\/p>\n
Trust me.<\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cYeah. I think I read about that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou read, Harmony?\u201d Aura laughed at the idea. Then she asked Cordelia, \u201cSo when are you coming back to school?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t have too. Without my fianc\u00e9, there was nothing else to do except study,\u201d Cordelia let out a long sigh. \u201cI graduated early.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWow.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat was fast.\u201d Aura wished she was already finished with school. \u201cWhy come back to Sunnydale? I figure you would be in LA or New York.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia gave her a patient smile. \u201cThere is someone I have to see first.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow come we didn\u2019t know this boyfriend?\u201d Beth wondered aloud assuming he was the reason Cordelia had returned. \u201cThe last guy I remember you being with was\u2014 eew! \u2014 Xander Harris. Like he is so dead now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cXander? Pfft! As if he had a clue about anything,\u201d Cordelia laughed having forgotten that little detail. \u201cActually, he\u2019s someone else you know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDetails\u2014 now!\u201d<\/p>\n
Pausing in thought, Cordelia nibbled on her lower lip as though having a difficult time with the decision to tell her friends. \u201cI don\u2019t want to give too much away just yet. Things still have to be worked out now that I\u2019m back.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy!\u201d Harmony whined at her friend.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust a hint or two,\u201d Cordelia grinned conspiratorially. \u201cHe\u2019s got an adorable smile. A voice that will make your head spin. Knows a lot of things about\u2014 stuff. Doesn\u2019t go to Sunnydale High, but works there. Let\u2019s just say that I had good reason to visit the library after classes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201c\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
All of the Cordettes were standing agape and speechless. Finally, Aura came out of her stupor long enough to venture a guess. \u201cYour boyfriend\u2014 no, not a boy\u2014 your fianc\u00e9 is actually Mr. Giles? Stuffy English librarian, Mr. Giles?\u201d<\/p>\n
Harmony shrugged, \u201cI *like* his accent.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou should hear some of the things he said to me when we were alone in his office,\u201d she gave them a smile. \u201cI told you that high school boys know nothing. If you want it done right, mature men are the way to go.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou did it with Mr. Giles in the library?\u201d<\/p>\n
The girls let out a simultaneous, \u201cEew!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMy parents claimed it was statutory rape,\u201d Cordelia shrugged while trying not to laugh at the three dingbats who were eating up her lies. \u201cThey refused to let us get married and dragged me to Alaska to avoid publicity.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s amazing that no one heard about it,\u201d Aura commented with a gasp.<\/p>\n
Beth noted, \u201cNo wonder your parents went along with the funeral thing. They didn\u2019t want anyone to know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd I\u2019m so glad that I can trust you with my secret,\u201d Cordelia gave them all a smile of gratitude knowing that the story would be all over town by morning. \u201cAfter all, it people found out\u2014 Rupert might lose his job at the school.\u201d<\/p>\n
With a wave of her hand and an overly brilliant smile, Cordelia sent her human minions on their way. All of Sunnydale would know that Queen C was back. Only this time, she was not only in charge of her own destiny, but theirs as well. Silly humans. They would believe anything just to avoid the truth until it came up and smacked them in the face.<\/p>\n
It was about time this town had a major smackdown.<\/p>\n
Having breezed into town with her new cherry red corvette, Cordelia had barely taken the time to point out the Crawford Street mansion to the six vampires who had followed her to Sunnydale before heading to the Bronze. This was where she would find the Slayer. It was time to put this plan into action and running into Willow so quickly had been a lucky sign.<\/p>\n
There were so many heartbeats around her. The smell of human blood pumped by those beating organs through arteries and veins rushed with the familiar rhythm. Lub dub. Lub dub. Lub dub. It was an undercurrent to the music played by the band. A combination of such instinctive force Cordelia closed her eyes and started dancing. As she moved to the sounds and rhythms, the crowd parted before her as if enchanted by her beauty and awed by the sheer power of her presence.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd so I was telling mom not to bother with the college applications,\u201d Buffy continued her conversation with Angel. \u201cHello, I\u2019m the Slayer. I can\u2019t leave Sunnydale. I tell you, it was like talking to a brick wall.\u201d<\/p>\n
The music suddenly died and the entire club seemed to have fallen into silence. Angel was staring blankly into space again. Yeah. Speaking of brick walls. Without a word, the vampire got up off of his stool and moved toward the dance floor as if in slow motion.<\/p>\n
Buffy started to get a wiggins. Her Slayer senses were suddenly bounding as she turned to see what trouble had caught Angel\u2019s attention.<\/p>\n
Trouble indeed! And its name was Cordelia Chase.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Was it only a week ago? Buffy guessed that it might have been less time than that. Just a few days since Angel told her of his plans to leave Sunnydale\u2014 and her\u2014 behind. Not that Buffy had taken that comment to heart. She denied his decision with her entire being. She was in denial even now that she was faced with the impossible truth that the vampire Cordelia somehow survived and was back in Sunnydale.<\/p>\n
Angel kept harping on the fact that things were different between them even though she was willing to put the past behind them. Her \u2018you aren\u2019t Angelus\u2019 speech had not gone over very well. There was too much water under the bridge he told her using her own euphemism to drown her in sorrow. Buffy wasn\u2019t about to give up on their past and so reminded him of the night they shared together\u2014 before Angelus appeared.<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t know about the so-called Happiness Clause to the curse, Buffy,\u201d the vampire claimed. \u201cI would never have touched you. How was I to know? It never happened before.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMeaning\u2014?\u201d<\/p>\n
He let out a wry laugh at her innocent stare. \u201cMeaning that I haven\u2019t lived the live of a monk for the past hundred years.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh.\u201d Buffy actually found comfort in that thought, strangely enough. Being with her had actually given him joy, happiness, bliss. Then her sudden smile fell away. They could never have that again. Well, it didn\u2019t matter; she steeled herself against their platonic fate. \u201cI love you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Pausing, Angel told her, \u201cBuffy, I can\u2019t love you. There are too many reasons why it isn\u2019t possible.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut\u2014,\u201d she began to protest only to be cut off.<\/p>\n
\u201cStarting with the fact that I tracked down and murdered your friends.\u201d<\/p>\n
Shaking her blond head, she told him, \u201cNot you!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes it was. Angelus exists as more than a dark memory. He is the instinct that drives me forward. The voice in my head\u2014 not of reason, but desire. Telling me what I want, what I need and urging me to take it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201c\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cKeep the blinders on if it suits you,\u201d Angel saw that she was not going to believe what he said. Buffy was determined to think of Angelus as a totally separate being. \u201cIt changes nothing. I killed Jenny Calendar. Snapped her neck and got off on the sound of it. Xander was more than just a mark in my mind. He was in his own idiotic and insignificant way my rival for you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Buffy pointed out that Xander\u2019s death was not all Angelus\u2019 fault. At least that was how she rationalized forgiving him for it. \u201cCordy killed Xander.\u201d<\/p>\n
Then Buffy realized she had mentioned the forbidden name. Cordelia. The one thing that really brought Angel to the edge of reason even after being back almost two months. His face darkened with emotions that she could not fathom.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was there,\u201d he reminded her. \u201cI sucked down Xander\u2019s blood just as she did. At the same time she did.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOmigod!\u201d Buffy suddenly caught the gruesome image in her head.<\/p>\n
Angel didn\u2019t stop there. \u201cCordelia\u2019s little Valentine\u2019s Day gift to me was luring the boy out into the open.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHah! I knew she was responsible,\u201d Buffy glared now happy that she had a really good reason for Cordelia\u2019s ultimate demise in that abandoned mine shaft.<\/p>\n
\u201cI am responsible!\u201d Angel thundered. \u201cShe was the first Scooby to die.\u201d<\/p>\n
Buffy had to ask even though she was certain not to like the answer. \u201cWhy did you turn Cordelia? Why not just kill her like the others?\u201d<\/p>\n
The demon inside him demanded he tell the truth. If the Slayer wanted to know, then she deserved to hear it. \u201cWhy would any vamp turn Cordelia Chase?\u201d<\/p>\n
Shrugging, Buffy guessed, \u201cAn urge to have your own personal shopper for eternity?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI wanted her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201c\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSimple. Obvious. Satisfied?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d Buffy had never seen any indication of it. The brunette had practically thrown herself at Angel when they first met, but the vampire had purposefully done his best to avoid her. \u201cWhen did this happen?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve always wanted her.\u201d<\/p>\n
The confession caused Buffy to stiffen in reaction. Maybe she didn\u2019t want to hear this after all. Angel seemed determined to make her mad. To push her away. Talking about his interest in Cordelia Chase at a time when he was supposed to be in love with her was not only shocking, but a painful betrayal of everything she thought they had together.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust think about it, Buff,\u201d the vampire used the nickname that Angelus seemed to enjoy. \u201cThat perfect face with its brilliant smile. Her elegant neck just begging to be bitten. The rack on her\u2014 tits made for a man\u2019s hands and mouth. Tiny waist and curving hips. Legs designed to wrap you up in their embrace.\u201d<\/p>\n
Snapping, Buffy had enough. \u201cShut up! I get the point.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot really. My inner demon wants a lot of things, Buffy. I want a lot of things, but that doesn\u2019t mean I have a right to act on those desires,\u201d Angel told her softly.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe second you lost your soul you went straight from me to her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cA slight exaggeration, but it will do.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201c\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel stepped a little closer. \u201cYou were the sunshine in my life as stupid as that sounds. My joy\u2014 until it became too much. Without my soul there was nothing stopping me from just taking everything I wanted. Trying to fulfill my desires.\u201d<\/p>\n
This little spiel was so not comforting. Buffy cut through to the part that disturbed her the most. \u201cSo\u2014 on some level you wanted to kill me and my friends?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m a vampire. On some level, I want to kill everybody,\u201d Angel pointed out.<\/p>\n
That thought was so scary that it actually made sense.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was all about you in the beginning,\u201d his mouth twisted into a wry smile. \u201cWhat we had together made me forget who I am. Made me feel happy, loved and human again.\u201d<\/p>\n
Buffy started to smile.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen my soul was ripped away and all that was left was the desire to make you pay for that. Part of me may be human\u2014 this outer shell and my memories. The rest is all demon and without the balancing effect and reason that my soul gives me, you are simply my natural enemy: a Vampire Slayer. Don\u2019t forget it, Buffy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo what happens now?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel had been thinking about this for a while, but his mission to watch over Buffy was still in effect. Though he hadn\u2019t done much lately to protect her. Quite the opposite. \u201cI\u2019m planning to leave town.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s left for us, Buffy? A strained friendship. Sexual tension. We can\u2019t be together. You can\u2019t forget about Xander no matter that you say you forgive me. I can\u2019t forget that you tried to kill Cordelia.\u201d<\/p>\n
He wasn\u2019t anywhere near ready to forgive her for it.<\/p>\n
\u201cI-I did kill her,\u201d Buffy had to remind him again. God, she hated this part. How many times did she have to describe the fight? Try to convince him that Cordelia was gone.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. I heard her,\u201d Angel stressed. \u201cShe called out to me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Buffy paced in front of him. \u201cIt was a hallucination. Even Giles agrees. You just got your soul back. You were confused, had a sword through your chest and were in the process of being sucked into hell.\u201d<\/p>\n
Truthfully, Angel had his doubts. He just didn\u2019t want to admit them aloud to anyone\u2014especially Buffy. It would make it seem too real. She had taken him to the site. He had been back there on a number of occasions. Too much time had passed. The trail was cold. There was no trace of any scent remaining that indicated she was even there. No sign of footprints left behind. There was no body below. Any trace of dust had been washed away.<\/p>\n
Angel could not sense Cordelia\u2019s presence. There was nothing. It had been so long for him that the vampire wondered if it was possible to sense her.<\/p>\n
The mansion, now his home again, was empty. All of his mate\u2019s belongings remained intact. It looked like Spike and Drusilla had packed up the bare minimum and left town on the run. He couldn\u2019t blame them for it.<\/p>\n
If Angelus had succeeded, they would have had a few extra minutes, hours or days before hell caught up with them. His failure meant that the Slayer would probably come after the two of them next. Spike was an ass, but he had always taken care of Dru. It was a fact he would never be able to claim with Cordelia.<\/p>\n
Angelus had gone ahead with his insane plan to break Buffy\u2019s spirit by killing her friends one by one. If he had not been so focused on the Slayer, Angelus should have taken his mate away from the Hellmouth. That was all she wanted\u2014 to go to LA.<\/p>\n
Maybe Buffy was right. He was kidding himself. Cordelia was dust. It was far too late for any regrets in that direction. Somehow, he had to atone for what he\u2019d done. Leaving town was probably not the best way to do that.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll stay, Buffy,\u201d the vampire let out a long sigh of resolve. \u201cUnless I get a sign that my business here is done, I will stay until your graduation.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIs that what I am to you\u2014 business?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re more than that, Buffy,\u201d Angel promised her. \u201cYou always will be.\u201d<\/p>\n