***<\/p>\n
Meticulously translating the ancient text, Rupert Giles allowed himself a small hint of satisfaction with his work. After cross-referencing the data with information from one of his older acquisitions, the puzzle that was the Moirae finally seemed to be coming together.<\/p>\n
Each new discovery led to increasing concern as a pattern emerged.<\/p>\n
The Whims of Fate, Giles mused upon realizing that the Moirae were known in the demon realms not only for their flights of fancy, but also for their darker designs on the lower beings within the scope of their influence. Neither light nor shadow. Fashioning the metaphorical Thread of Life, its beginnings, endings and the course in between. Was this truly an unconditional agreement or is it simply a part of\u2026eh?<\/i><\/p>\n
Disturbing his deep thoughts, the doorbell chimed twice followed immediately by the incessant sound of knocking. A groan of annoyance left his throat. Interruptions at this time of the evening were rarely pleasant. Noting his current position within the frame of the text, Giles slowly moved out of his chair heading for the front door.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan’t get any research done this way,\u201d Giles muttered his irritation.<\/p>\n
Even one disturbance broke up his chain of thought. Normally adept at this type of task, he found this one to be a challenge while separating out the myth from the reality. If he was lucky, it would just be his neighbor trying to borrow a chainsaw or hedge clippers or something equally ridiculous that he did not have. After a quick chat, he’d be back to the research.<\/p>\n
Opening the front door, Giles quickly concluded that his night was going downhill from here. \u201cOh, dear.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRupert,\u201d Angelus nodded in a curt from of greeting. Though civil in tone, there was urgency behind it. The Watcher’s observant eyes noted that the vampire held his mate in an almost protective manner close to his side.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngelus and Cordelia.\u201d It was less of a greeting than a method of organizing his thoughts. Mentally preparing himself for what was likely to follow. There could only be one reason for the vampire to bring Cordelia along. \u201cNeed I guess why you’re here?\u201d<\/p>\n
Opening the door wider, Giles admitted them to his home causing a brief flash of confusion from Cordelia who figured that Angelus would need a verbal invitation. There was also a complete lack of open hostility from the Englishman whom Cordy figured would never forgive Angelus for the murder of Jenny Calendar no matter the number of good deeds performed. Even the fact that Angelus had used Giles’ first name came across as strange when nobody else did, but then she’d heard Angel call him that one time too.<\/p>\n
Giles’ curious gaze followed Cordelia as she headed toward the couch. Her silence did not bode well for this unannounced visit. Clearly, Cordelia had been dragged into this and her mate decided it was time to tell her the truth. About bloody time. Never understood why Angel wanted to keep this from Buffy. If she had been aware of the potential risks, he never would have gotten the chance to bite her.<\/i><\/p>\n
As he automatically moved to close the door, not even looking at it, Giles found it was not budging. Glancing around, he realized it was being blocked open by a large outstretched hand. Angel stood on the threshold with a predatory glare in his gold-rimmed eyes. Civility couldn’t be further from the vampire’s mind as he stared past Giles toward Cordelia. There was no mistaking that intense look as anything less than dangerous.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy don’t you come back later,\u201d Giles dared to suggest only receiving a cold stare in return as Angel brushed right past him heading straight into the living room.<\/p>\n
Before closing the door, the Watcher glanced outside to see if he could spot Willow or Xander who were supposed to be tailing the vampire. Ever since Angelus’ revelation the other night, he had come to the conclusion that the souled vampire needed to be watched for other signs of trouble. Considering the fact that neither teenager had a car, it might have been an unrealistic expectation to try to keep up with Angel. He’d have to talk to Oz about fixing that little snag.<\/p>\n
Even following him on foot had to be a problem. Only Buffy was truly qualified to stalk Angel undetected, but the Slayer was certainly in no position at the moment to take on that assignment. Considering their recent separation, Buffy certainly would find it uncomfortable to be in Angel’s presence much less surreptitiously following him around town. Her pain was still too new to even mention it to him. At least that was what Willow suggested trying to make him feel better about the fact that Buffy had not told him a thing.<\/p>\n
As her Watcher, Giles would allow Buffy a day or two to come to terms with the end of her relationship to Angel, but that was all he could allow. Angelus was tied to her cause in fighting the Good Fight. Angel was linked to Angelus supposedly to keep the soulless vampire in line. Seems like the reverse isn’t happening,<\/i> he added the sidebar to his own thoughts. It meant that Buffy would have to face her former lover putting her duty above her feelings. It was something she had done before during the Acathla scare, but Giles hoped for her sake this would not necessitate the same action.<\/p>\n
Now eyeing the trio in his living room, Giles knew things had escalated beyond what he already knew for them to come here. A palpable tension hung in the air as he approached them, making Giles a bit skittish as he walked over to his easy chair across from the couch. Though Angelus and Cordelia were seated comfortably side by side, Angel paced with deliberate slowness behind the couch.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel, why don’t you make yourself\u2014,\u201d Giles began only to be cut off mid sentence by the vampire.<\/p>\n
\u201cDrop the Miss Manners routine, Rup,\u201d he demanded rudely. Then addressing his double, \u201cGet on with it Angelus. Let’s hear what the Watcher has to say about all this. Then he gets to prove to you which one of us leads the Order.\u201d<\/p>\n
That last comment startled Giles assuming he meant the Order of Aurelius. As far as Giles knew, there wasn’t much of an Order to lead. Certainly not here in Sunnydale. Spike and Drusilla were still out there no doubt, but there was some question about the other surviving childer.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs that an issue?\u201d Giles queried with guileless interest.<\/p>\n
\u201cMore than you know,\u201d Angel answered as his gaze drifted down the pair sitting on the couch.<\/p>\n
Angelus growled, \u201cWe’ll talk about that later. No matter what he says, it will change nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n
Continuing to move along the back of the couch, Angel paused behind Cordelia. Not touching her, but standing only a hairsbreadth away. \u201cIt will change everything and you know it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Giles had the sneaking suspicion that this had something to do with Cordelia and he was afraid that he knew why. Being the designated head of the vampire clan would give Angel rights to claim his brother’s mate as his own.<\/p>\n
\u201cGet your ass over to the chair where I can see you,\u201d Angelus snarled over his shoulder.<\/p>\n
Chuckling in response, Angel walked around to the other side of the couch where he deliberately took a seat next to Cordelia. Glancing daggers at him even as she inched subconsciously in the direction of her mate, the brunette’s defensive posturing told Giles that something had already happened to set things off between them on a personal level.<\/p>\n
As Cordelia turned her gaze upon Giles, the glare altered from resentment into one of pure determination. \u201cGive me the scoop. Just who are these Moirae witches and tell me where to find them.\u201d<\/p>\n
No doubt Cordelia wanted to personally give them a piece of her mind. Giles clarified that Cordelia had been told very little by the vampires about the nature of the three supernatural beings known more commonly as the Fates. There were things even the vampires didn’t know revealed to him by his long hours of research.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe Moirae are a trio of other-dimensional creatures that view themselves as higher beings. Their mystical abilities and immortality rank them amongst those known in the demon realms as The Powers that Be. Having done some worthy service for the Moirae in the past, Angel contacted them to return the favor.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia soaked up the information, but it told her nothing. \u201cWorthy service? Pfft! Angel wanted his soul to be permanent so he could boff Buffy, went to them and presto chango\u2026two vamps. How’d they do that?\u201d<\/p>\n
Trying to ignore the reference to his blond charge, Giles calmly explained, \u201cMagick. According to myth, the Moirae spin the Threads of Life, measure them out and cut them. Naturally, it’s much more complicated than that. The Moirae rarely become directly involved in mortal matters unless they take particular interest in one of the lower beings.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel,\u201d deadpanned Cordelia crossing her arms over her chest.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel.\u201d Giles confirmed it with a nod, but changed his mind by adding, \u201cWell, it might have been Liam or Angelus. There is no way to tell because neither one of your\u2026the vampires have told me what they did for the Fates in the first place.\u201d<\/p>\n
Staring back and forth between the two, Cordelia saw that they remained closed-mouthed on the subject. \u201cAngelus, you were going to tell us something about it that first day in the library until Psycho Vamp over there stopped you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon’t call me that,\u201d Angel demanded hotly.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat’s nicer than some of the other things I’d like to call you,\u201d Cordelia returned with sugary sweetness. Then she turned her attention back to Giles who was staring at her strangely. \u201cWhat? It’s true. Just ignore him. Forget what they did before, just tell me what happened this time. What deal did they make and exactly what was it the Fates warned them about that made you look like you swallowed your tongue?\u201d<\/p>\n
Tugging at his shirt collar, Giles told her, \u201cYou know part of it. Angel wanted to have a permanent soul and to be rid of Angelus’ influence. Apparently, it was your idea.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMy idea,\u201d Cordelia remembered Angel saying something to that effect.<\/p>\n
Angel reminded her, \u201cYou told me that day we were alone in the library. When you came in wearing your short little cheerleading skirt and your tight sweater.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI-I remember. Angelus was a part of you then,\u201d she commented as if that explained any reaction on her part when he’d touched her.<\/p>\n
\u201cBlame him, then.\u201d Angel smirked at the memory. There he was trying to find a way to secure his soul and yet he couldn’t stop himself from responding to her presence. It hadn’t all been Angelus’ influence.<\/p>\n
Giles had no idea what they were talking about other than the fact that something Cordelia said to Angel sparked the idea that he go to the Moirae for help. \u201cThe Fates agreed to Angel’s wishes, except that it was impossible for them to destroy Angelus. They decided to give him his own existence, but linked him to Angel so that he would be bound to fight the Good Fight along side him.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI’ve already heard that part,\u201d Cordelia complained. \u201cTell me something I don’t know.\u201d<\/p>\n
Clearing his throat, Giles took a moment to think about his response. \u201cThe Fates told Angel that the split might end his existence.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hazel eyes darted in Angel’s direction to find that the vampire continued to stare at her. He didn’t seem interested in hearing what Giles was saying, just in witnessing her reaction. \u201cSo the split worked. Two vamps.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe danger didn’t end with the separation, Cordelia,\u201d clarified Giles as he caught the look between them. \u201cSurviving the initial split was just the first stage of this process. The transformation requires a balance to be maintained between the human qualities each vampire possesses and their demon nature.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHello, Psycho Vamp sitting right over here. Talk about your major imbalance.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia, if you don’t shut up with the name calling,\u201d Angel warned, \u201cI’ll find a way to put your tongue to better use.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angelus glared at his brother and was about to say something when Cordelia rolled her eyes, \u201cIn your dreams.\u201d<\/p>\n
The Watcher was beginning to think that Cordelia’s unflattering moniker for Angel was on-target. Normally, he would never make suggestive comments. Certainly not about Cordelia and not in front of her mate. Combined with what he already knew, it appeared that his suspicions were probably correct.<\/p>\n
\u201cOver the past couple of months since the separation,\u201d began Giles, \u201cthere has been a subtle shift in the behavior of both Angel and Angelus.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngelus is fine,\u201d Cordelia denied it without waiting for Giles to make his point.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngelus has not been unaffected by this. Both vampires are experiencing the results of a fractured psyche. The disparate elements are now coming to the fore as you have experienced with Angel. Without the necessary balancing factors, Angel is likely to completely lose himself to his primal instincts and if that happens there will be no way to reverse the damage.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia found herself curling her nails into Angelus’ thigh in reaction to the news. He kept his arm around her shoulder, pulling her flush with his side. \u201cSo you’re saying that Angel really has gone crazy?’<\/p>\n
\u201cNot yet,\u201d Giles answered, \u201cbut it’s a possibility. There is no telling what will happen if he is truly reacting on his demon instincts alone.\u201d<\/p>\n
Relaxing at his end of the couch, Angel stretched out his legs in front of him. He felt pretty damn good about his demon instincts. About time he started listening to the needs of his own body.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat about his soul?\u201d Cordelia asked. \u201cShouldn’t that help Angel control it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt probably did in the beginning. Souls can guide and act as our conscience, but they do not make us infallible, Cordelia. Nor do souls routinely deal with the primal nature of a demon.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngelus doesn’t have a soul and he didn’t go all demon-bonkers.\u201d<\/p>\n
Giles heard a low rumble from Angel’s direction. \u201cI am less clear on what has been happening with Angelus. Though he has no soul, Angelus has been able to strike a balance and maintain control over his tendency to be evil. Unfortunately, if Angel continues this downward spiral, it will also begin to negatively affect his double.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow do you fix it?\u201d Cordelia demanded an answer. \u201cTell me you can fix this.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can’t,\u201d Giles hated to admit it, but the vampires wanted her to have the truth. \u201cI think I have diagnosed the problem. Their link has caused a nearly 180-degree turn around in their personalities. Angelus is in control of his demon side and has been a
\nfar different vampire than the one we knew before. His double, on the other hand, has basically been acting more like the old Angelus than Angelus himself.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI could’ve told you that,\u201d she complained. \u201cJust because Angelus is doing what he’s supposed to do fighting the Good Fight and not being evil doesn’t mean something is wrong with him.\u201d<\/p>\n
At her vehement denial, Angel chuckled at her blind loyalty to her mate. \u201cCan’t see the forest for the trees? You’d think Angelus was the one cursed with the soul. He’s taking all of the do-gooding to heart. Making friends. Buying fish.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe’s a lot nicer than you these days,\u201d Cordelia told him. \u201cYou never bothered to have fun or make friends with the Scoobies even when you weren’t psycho.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI’m not finished,\u201d Angel glared at her interruption and the continued use of the insulting description. \u201cAngelus has indulged you, given you everything and put you on a pedestal when he’d normally be tying you to his bed, making use of those silk scarves and doing things to you that I\u2014.\u201d<\/p>\n
He stopped mid-sentence as he heard Giles react with a croak to the direction of his thoughts. Angelus was already rising out of his seat and while not approaching made it clear that he didn’t want to hear anymore.<\/p>\n
While diverting his thoughts away from the things that he wanted to do Cordelia, Angel continued on. \u201cOne thing proves that Angelus is not who he was: loving you. When has a soulless demon ever loved anything or anyone? None that I know and certainly not him.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFrankly, Cordelia,\u201d interrupted Giles, \u201cI believe that you have had a lot to do with Angelus’ ability to maintain his equilibrium.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMe?\u201d Cordelia knew that she was good for Angelus, but believing she was able to affect the mystic mojo keeping him from acting on his demon instincts said a lot about their relationship, especially if Giles was acknowledging that to be the case. \u201cIt’s because Angelus loves me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat’s one of my theories.\u201d Giles confirmed despite himself.<\/p>\n
This entire process had given him a new perspective on Angelus. Though he hated what the vampire had done in the past, he could not deny that his love for Cordelia was real. The moment that proved Angelus was a far different vampire than the one who captured and tortured him in the mansion happened that night when he came to talk about Angel and Buffy. Angelus actually apologized to him about Jenny, telling Giles that recently he had been thinking about what he had done on that Valentine’s Day and could imagine how he might feel if something like that ever happened to Cordelia.<\/p>\n
As Giles’ theory sank in, Cordelia darted a look at Angel. \u201cThat can’t be right. Maybe feelings are important, but that isn’t the only thing going on here. If it was just about feelings, Angel wouldn’t be\u2026the way he is. Angelus loves me, but\u2026so does Angel.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSay what again?\u201d Despite Angel’s strange behavior and his current suspicions that he had done something he shouldn’t in relation to Cordelia, the news came as a shock. He couldn’t stop the angry spark within him as he realized this probably led to Buffy’s painful decision to end her relationship with Angel. Willow had informed him about the breakup, but assuming she knew it, not this.<\/p>\n
Angelus was standing near enough to Giles that he heard the complaining growl low under his breath. Angel being in love with Cordelia would certainly explain the tension between these three. Considering her comments to Angel, the feelings were obviously not returned. At least not to the extent that the vampire would like them to be, he figured.<\/p>\n
Confirming what she’d said, Cordelia told him, \u201cYes, Angel. Psycho Vamp. He’s in love with me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI-Is this true, Angel?\u201d<\/p>\n
The vampire gave him a slow smile, an almost toothy grin that gave Giles what felt a lot like indigestion because it wasn’t just a smile of confirmation of his love. Those feelings reflected from the depths of his eyes as he stared at Cordelia. It was the fact that those eyes were rimmed with gold and with the instantaneous shifting of flesh and bone; it was the vampire’s demonic visage that made it.<\/p>\n
Angel answered him never removing his gaze from hers. \u201cOh, I love her. There is no question in my mind that it’s true. How does that Browning poem go? ‘I love thee to the depth, breadth and height my soul can reach’. How fitting.\u201d<\/p>\n
It’s the depths I’m worr<\/i>ied about, Giles thought. Then he had to ask, \u201cHow long has this been going on? What about Buffy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe’s never far out of your thoughts, is she Rup?\u201d Angel needled him. \u201cYour little blond Slayer and I have ended it. We’re through. Her choice. I gave her to Xander.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTo Xander?\u201d Three voices chimed together.<\/p>\n
With a careless shrug, Angel commented, \u201cIt seemed like a good idea at the time. I doubt either one of them realizes it. Not exactly up on all of the vampire traditions, are they? Stake first, ask questions never.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia found herself giggling almost hysterically at the idea of Buffy and Xander. It was certainly something that had always been in the back of Xander’s mind even if he never really made a move. Too much competition from the undead guy.<\/p>\n
\u201cI’m certain Buffy wouldn’t find that amusing,\u201d Giles reproached them.<\/p>\n
After getting over the initial shock of Angel’s announcement, Angelus quickly returned to the previous subject unwilling to let it drop. What he really wanted to do was beat the tar out of his brother\u2026again. Figuring the Watcher wouldn’t want that here in the middle of his living room, he reigned in those thoughts.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou love Cordelia,\u201d Angelus acknowledged. \u201cI knew that. I’ve always known that. It’s your obsessive, even violent actions toward her that I will not condone.\u201d<\/p>\n
Giles questioned Cordelia with a growing understanding of her mate’s protectiveness. \u201cViolent? In what way?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat’s none of your concern, Watcher. I wasn’t violent. Did you see bruises?\u201d Angel asked his brother.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, but only because I haven’t checked,\u201d Angelus returned.<\/p>\n
Angel looked surprised. \u201cI would have. I would have explored every inch of that skin for the smallest bruise. Washed away any trace of scent that wasn’t hers or mine.\u201d<\/p>\n
Just the fact that Angelus knew his brother was taunting him only as a result of the effects Giles described kept him from reacting. He knew what Angel had done to her not only because she told him, but his senses revealed it to be true. In a way, Angel was right. Any vampire would normally have done as he described. Not only washed away the other’s scent, but replaced it with his own. For some reason that confused him, Angelus had let that slide in favor of providing pure comfort.<\/p>\n
Am I a vampire or a teddy bear? While Angelus li<\/i>ked the idea of comforting his mate, he hated the fact that such behavior might not have been purely his choice. It seemed Angel was becoming more like his old self and he was becoming more like\u2026, Stake me now\u2026,the Care Bear.<\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cWe need to do something about this soon,\u201d Angelus demanded sternly. \u201cCrap! This is intolerable. If I turn into any more of a softy next thing you know I’ll be up for sainthood.\u201d<\/p>\n
Giles muttered, \u201cSomehow, I doubt it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia grinned at Angelus. The irritated look on his face was priceless. \u201cBut you’re my softy. Besides, you’re not always soft, are you Bad Boy?\u201d<\/p>\n
Reaching down, Angelus pulled her up into his embrace. \u201cWanna find out?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, dear. Why don’t you two go home now,\u201d Giles suggested as he watched Angelus devour Cordelia’s lips with a hungry kiss. \u201cAngel and I have some things to discuss.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe do?\u201d Angel didn’t look too pleased at the idea.<\/p>\n
Before the Watcher could answer, Cordelia broke away from Angelus’ kiss to ask if Giles had told them everything.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust a small portion of what information I’ve gathered, I’m afraid, but it’s all I can tell you at the moment. I know the problem. I have to figure out why it happened and search for the cure.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow long?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cA day, a year, maybe never,\u201d he answered honestly. \u201cThe only thing I can tell you is not something you’ll want to hear. As Angelus said, perhaps it’s something you<\/i> need to hear. Each day that goes by, there is further degradation in both Angel and Angelus. Their personalities have been spilt apart and without maintaining the balance between them further side effects will come quickly. At some point, neither one will be able to survive the changes.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia pulled out of Angelus’ arms to stand apart from everyone. \u201cGiles, you find a way to fix this. I don’t care what it takes. You find a way or tell the Fates to get off their mythic asses and do it themselves.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cM-Mythic\u2014,\u201d Giles stuttered. \u201cIt’s not quite that simple.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe’s right, Cordy,\u201d Angel told her. \u201cI was only able to contact them again because they had given me a charm. Running into them the first time was an accident.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you ever gonna tell me about it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
She couldn’t understand it. Why all the secrecy? \u201cWhat’s it take\u2026begging?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel’s mouth curled up at the corners. \u201cIf there’s going to be begging, I think you should opt for getting something for your trouble. That old story is hardly worth it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Grmph! \u201cIf there’s begging to be done, Angel, it’ll be done by you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI’d like to see you try, sweetheart.\u201d<\/p>\n
Once again, Cordelia found herself sucked up into a conversation that had turned on itself becoming akin to flirtation. She had already taken a step toward him when she felt Angelus’ hand on her upper arm.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt’s time to go,\u201d Angelus reminded her as she chomped off the biting retort on the tip of her tongue. Then he asked her, \u201cWhich way, Cor? Your parents’ house or the mansion?\u201d<\/p>\n
There was no hesitation. Knowing what was going on with Angelus and the potential dangers, she needed to be with him. \u201cTo the mansion. You have to be there, so I do too. As long as Angel behaves,\u201d she added.<\/p>\n
Angel smirked inwardly, barely managing to keep the smile off his face. Behave? He had no intention of playing the good little vamp, but that was hardly something that he wanted to announce.<\/p>\n
\u201cLet me worry about Angel,\u201d his brother suggested while leading her to the door.<\/p>\n
Glancing over her shoulder at the souled vampire who was now standing and staring after them, Cordelia knew it was not going to be that simple. It was no longer just a matter of Angel acting on his feelings. Giles’ research proved that whatever it was that was happening was not entirely his fault, even if it was disturbingly scary. She had to wonder how much of what happened between them was also out of Angel’s control.<\/p>\n
Angel watched them leave and felt only a sense of relief that Cordelia decided to go back to the mansion. He needed her there. Even if she was with Angelus, he needed to have her near him. Close to him. There was fear in her eyes, but not the kind his demon yearned for if he couldn’t have her love. This was pity. Fear of what might happen if Giles didn’t find a way to stop this process.<\/p>\n
Pity was one emotion Angel didn’t want from her. Love or hate, but not pity. Never that.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel, help yourself to a drink if you want one,\u201d Giles offered. He was still in a bit of shock about the vampire’s feelings for Cordelia and felt like he couldn’t budge from his chair.<\/p>\n
\u201cLet’s get on with this, Watcher,\u201d Angel told him resuming his position on the couch. \u201cI have places to be.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMeaning the mansion?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShouldn’t matter to you, Rup.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWill you stop calling me that irritating name,\u201d Giles complained just as he realized that telling the vampire he hated it would likely result in hearing it more. Considering Angel’s current demonic tendencies, taunting him with it would be almost irresistible.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhatever you want, Rup,\u201d Angel grinned. \u201cNot a problem.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sighing, Giles decided to leave it there. \u201cThere are some things I need to know in order to keep this research moving in the right direction. Some questions that I need to ask you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMine first.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMy question first,\u201d Angel clarified. \u201cShould’ve done this while Angelus was still here, but maybe it’s better this way. Just in case you tell me something I don’t want to hear.\u201d<\/p>\n
As the tone of his voice lowered an octave, Giles caught the hint of an underlying threat. Nothing direct, but close enough. \u201cYou’ll get the truth. Be satisfied knowing that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel reminded him about his interest in determining the official leadership of the Order of Aurelius. \u201cWhich one of us gets the proverbial crown, Giles? Me or Angelus?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMay I know why this is so important to you? Are you interested in renewing your ties with those of your clan?\u201d Giles already suspected his answer, but he wanted to hear it all the same.<\/p>\n
The vampire simply laughed aloud at the idea. \u201cCan you really see me wanting Dru, Spike and Penn in my face everyday? There are others, but hardly significant enough to mention. This has nothing to do with them.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt’s Cordelia.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWill my answer really change anything?\u201d Giles asked him. \u201cIt’s obvious that you’ve made some kind of move. Told her about your feelings. Does the fact that she loves your brother mean nothing to you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt means something,\u201d Angel told him. \u201cI want her love, but I’ll settle for anything Cordelia will dish out. You see, it won’t really matter because she’ll be mine.\u201d<\/p>\n
A chill passed down Giles’ spine listening to his answer. What was that phrase she’d used? Demon bonkers.<\/i> Yes, that seemed to fit the bill. \u201cThe question you ask is complicated, Angel. Though you are different personalities, you two came from the same being. Angelus existed before you did, yet he would not have his own separate existence if you had not recouped the debt owed to you by the Moirae.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey put me in charge,\u201d Angel pointed out. \u201cI’m the one keeping him in line.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, good job with that,\u201d Giles returned wryly. \u201cLooks like you’re not doing so good a job with yourself lately.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngelus is linked to me. That puts me in charge of the Order,\u201d Angel was up off of the couch and pacing again.<\/p>\n
\u201cI’m afraid that you’re wrong,\u201d Giles revealed. \u201cAngelus may be bound to you in order to ensure that he fulfils the obligations of the agreement, but that in no way affects his right to the leadership of the Order of Aurelius.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel grabbed Giles by the front of his shirt pulling him to his feet. \u201cIs that really the truth or are you just trying to piss me off?\u201d<\/p>\n
Trying to maintain his composure despite the vampire visage glaring at him, Giles told him that he was speaking the truth. \u201cFrom my perspective, Angelus preceded the existence of the soul. Separation of his personality from yours did not change that fact.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don’t like your perspective,\u201d Angel dropped the Watcher to the chair. \u201cYou’re just guessing. Where is the proof?\u201d<\/p>\n
Showing Angel his empty hands, Giles commented, \u201cThere is none. It’s only my own opinion. The right one to my mind, but it has no certificate of validation upon it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cKeep your opinions to yourself,\u201d Angel warned him. \u201cUnless Angelus asks you about this directly, don’t say a word about this conversation.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd make things even worse for Cordelia?\u201d Giles huffed. \u201cCertainly not.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGood. Keep it that way.\u201d<\/p>\n
Giles wasn’t going to let Angel’s aggressive behavior intimidate him. As long as it didn’t get any worse. For now, he needed answers. \u201cTake a seat, Angel. Now it’s my turn for the questions.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay, Watcher,\u201d Angel indulged him. He flopped back on the couch propping his legs up on the cushions. \u201cFire away.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn’t talk about this in front of Angelus or Cordelia, because I don’t want this to embarrass Buffy in any way.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel arched an eyebrow. \u201cI thought you were going to ask about that sooner or later. Thought it would be sooner.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHad it been sooner, the question may have been accompanied by the use of my crossbow and I wouldn’t be stuck with this research project,\u201d Giles said pointedly.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you want all of the dirty details, Giles? Will that satisfy your curiosity?\u201d Angel doubted it, but he expected the Watcher to refuse.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. Not everything. That is your business and Buffy’s, but I do need some general idea of the course of your relationship since you and Angelus were separated.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe broke up. What more do you need to know?\u201d<\/p>\n
Seeing that Angel wasn’t going to make this easy on him, Giles carefully thought about what needed to be asked. \u201cAs I told Cordelia, I have several theories about the psychological process that is taking place. There is an interconnected link which is causing a near reversal of your personalities. At the same time, there is an individual balance or imbalance within you both.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo I’m the unbalanced one. Lucky me,\u201d Angel didn’t look overly concerned. He picked up an empty round candle holder from the coffee table and started tossing it in the air catching it with alternating hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cUnlucky everyone else. Even with this reversal,\u201d Giles told him, \u201cthere should be no reason for an imbalance to occur. He’s like you. You’re like him. Equal measures.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay,\u201d Angel nodded following along.<\/p>\n
Giles explained, \u201cAll things being equal, if I was to guess which one of you would have a problem with maintaining a balanced psyche, it would be Angelus. He has no soul to guide him as you do.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo what’s the problem?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think it’s Cordelia.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel sat up immediately. \u201cWhat do you mean by that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, perhaps I should say that it’s both Cordelia and Buffy,\u201d corrected Giles, \u201cbecause I think it started with the Slayer. Tell me, Angel, before your separation from Angelus were you ever tempted to bite Buffy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d his denial came quickly.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat changed that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe were able to have sex.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh. Y-Yes, well, I suppose increased intimacy might\u2014,\u201d Giles stuttered his way to a pause as Angel cut him off.<\/p>\n
The vampire admitted, \u201cEven then, that wasn’t strictly true. I never had a conscious thought or a plan to do it, Giles. You have to understand that things were strained in our relationship for a while. As far back as my return after the Acathla incident.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBuffy took that hard, Angel. She changed a lot that following summer. Not all of her changes were the result of psychological scars from having to fight you. Or rather, fighting Angelus.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel had to agree that Buffy seemed different, but he had changed as well during that time.<\/p>\n
Giles continued. \u201cSlayer powers mature quickly out of necessity. There are primal forces that exist between the Chosen One and vampires designed for survival. It’s what I always feared after you two started seeing each other.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI see where you’re going, so I’ll make it easy on you. Feel free to blush if you need too, I won’t tell.\u201d Angel promised with a smirk. \u201cThere’s a difference between Buffy and Cordelia when it comes to sex. Cordelia isn’t normally submissive, but she can be in the right situation. Your Slayer sometimes tries to be, but she can’t. Not with me. Buffy physically cannot allow me to dominate her. Not even to share the role.\u201d<\/p>\n
Heat stroked up Giles neck, burning his cheeks. Telling himself, Research. It’s all about the research.<\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cI-I think that part of my theory is proven,\u201d Giles decided. \u201cIt’s partially the Slayer\/ Vampire dynamic. With your psyche in a state of flux after the split, dealing with the supernatural and primal forces existing between you became too much to handle. Your demon nature came to the fore in response to the Slayer’s intimate presence.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo what does Cordelia have to do with your little theory?\u201d<\/p>\n
Forcing images of Angel and Buffy out of his head, Giles tried to focus on what he knew of Cordelia’s relationship with Angelus. \u201cCordelia is human, obviously, without any supernatural abilities. Nothing that would force an already soulless vampire into letting his demon nature loose.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cExcept the obvious,\u201d Angel pointed out. \u201cVampires and humans have a dynamic all their own, Rup.\u201d<\/p>\n
Nodding, Giles explained that was his point exactly. \u201cWhile Angelus has an additional inducement to control his instincts in the form of severe pain if he steps out of line, I believe Cordelia herself was the key to Angelus’ ability to remain somewhat stable. It is true that he has taken on more of your old traits and behaviors, but the part of him that is pure demon seems to be in control.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI repeat\u2026what does Cordelia have to do with it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngelus loves her.\u201d As Giles spoke, it became clear that Angel didn’t like hearing it. \u201cYou said it yourself, so don’t blame me. Cordelia loves him in return. There is a give and take between them that acts as a natural deterrent to his more violent behavior. Despite all of my personal feelings against Angelus, I have to admit that he makes a good match for her even considering that he’s a vampire.\u201d<\/p>\n
A growl of displeasure sounded from Angel’s throat. \u201cYou’re saying Cordelia acts as his conscience? How sweet.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat wasn’t quite what I meant, but it’s close enough,\u201d Giles told him not missing the dripping sarcasm. \u201cThat brings me to my next questions.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCan’t wait.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cExactly how long have you been in love with Cordelia?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel stopped tossing the ball-shaped iron candle-holder and turned his head to look at the Watcher. \u201cHey, I only just figured it out. Buffy told me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBuffy?\u201d That came as a surprise.<\/p>\n
\u201cSeems women know these things,\u201d the vampire was confused on that subject.<\/p>\n
\u201cHmmm.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe truth is, Giles, I think I’ve always felt something for Cordy. In the beginning, she was just this amazingly beautiful\u2026bitch. It’s true. She’d tell you that herself. She was so pushy and I was wrapped up in the idea of being attracted to the Slayer. Don’t get me wrong, Rup. I loved Buffy. She was the first person who really touched my heart.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo you were attracted to Cordelia even then?\u201d<\/p>\n
A slow smile came over Angel’s face giving Giles his answer even before the vampire opened his mouth. \u201cAbsolutely. I’m afraid she was relegated to the starring role in a few of my fantasies. More than a few.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cF-Fantasies?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cC’mon, Rup. I know you’ve probably had them yourself. Considering all the concern and attention she gave you after Jenny died, I’d be surprised if Cordy didn’t occupy a few of your own.\u201d<\/p>\n
Gulping down the lump that had formed in his throat, Giles tried to assure Angel that no such thing had ever occurred.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou must’ve been telling me the truth about the Order earlier,\u201d Angel decided as he heard Giles’ heart thudding faster, listened to the stutter in his voice and watched as the blotchy beet red color flooded his face. \u201cYou certainly are no liar.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJust make your point,\u201d Giles barked in embarrassment.<\/p>\n
Chuckling in amusement, Angel told him, \u201cThe truth is that I don’t know when I started to love Cordelia. Maybe it started as friendship. Maybe my attraction to her just kept it simmering in the background.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou never acted on it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel gave him a hard look. \u201cI was dating Buffy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou’ve been dating Buffy the past couple of months up to two nights ago,\u201d Giles pointed out. \u201cCan you tell me that there has been nothing between you and Cordelia in all that time?\u201d<\/p>\n
A long silence descended. \u201cDepends on your definition of nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSex?\u201d Had it gone that far?<\/p>\n
\u201cDepends on your definition of that, too.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI’ll take that as a yes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI’ve kissed her, Giles. I’ve touched her.\u201d Angel knew Giles wasn’t asking just to be nosey. There was some reason for it. \u201cTrust me, I want more.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia doesn’t seem very keen on the idea considering her relationship to your brother,\u201d the Watcher had to say despite the dangerous gleam in the vampire’s eyes.<\/p>\n
Angel set the iron-candle holder down with such force that it dented the coffee table. \u201cShe’ll get over it.\u201d<\/p>\n
This unreasonable way of thinking was just another symptom of this problem. Angel was showing all of the signs, his demonic traits prioritizing his thoughts and actions. Trying to keep a cool head about it, Giles still found himself demanding, \u201cWhat were you planning to do, Angel? Share her?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo!\u201d Angel glared at him angrily. \u201cShe’s mine.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJust asking,\u201d Giles clarified. He justified his question to himself, Vampires aren’t exactly known for monog<\/i>amous relationships.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo you’re not. What are you calculating in that brain of yours, Rupert Giles?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHmmm? Oh, nothing. No calculations whatsoever. I’m just curious as to why Angelus hasn’t got you locked up in a cage pending some gruesome torture for daring to touch his mate.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo cage at the mansion,\u201d Angel pointed out. \u201cProbably hasn’t thought of it yet. Not that I’d let him do it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Giles figured it would be a hell of a fight. \u201cThat’s all my questions for the moment.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cReally? I thought there would be more. Surely your little minions filled you in on my encounter with them.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMy minions?\u201d Giles’s eyes widened as he realized to whom Angel referred. \u201cXander and Willow. I-I haven’t heard from them in a while.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot very good minions are they? Too many ideas of their own.\u201d Angel commented.<\/p>\n
\u201cY-You didn’t hurt them, did you?\u201d With Angel’s current state, there was no telling how he might have reacted. Had Giles known the vampire’s behavior had already degraded to this dangerous level, he never would have sent them out to begin with.<\/p>\n
Angel almost looked disappointed as he told the Watcher, \u201cNo, they’re still intact. Not even a bruise or two to make them remember not to mess with me and mine.\u201d<\/p>\n
A sigh of relief sounded. \u201cYou let them go.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot entirely my choice,\u201d Angel revealed. \u201cCordelia asked me not to hurt them.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were with Cordelia?\u201d<\/p>\n
Admitting it, \u201cYes. I’d been watching her house this morning and I followed her to her friend Harmony’s place this afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n
Realizing, \u201cYou were stalking her during the day,\u201d Giles’ concerns for Cordelia only escalated.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat can I say? I’m obsessed,\u201d Angel grinned at the idea. \u201cShe’s mine and I want her back where she belongs.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBack at the mansion,\u201d Giles nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat’s right.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou got your wish,\u201d the Watcher told him. \u201cI’m glad of it, too. Angelus can keep a better eye on you if he’s not worried about where Cordelia is at. Just try to control yourself, Angel. I don’t want another incident. Next time you’ll be lucky if you aren’t staked for it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon’t worry about it, Rup. I’ll be on my best behavior.\u201d<\/p>\n