Part 3<\/b><\/p>\n
The next day\u2026<\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m just saying,\u201d Angel said, tapping his chin and trying to sound both pensive and ominous. \u201cIt\u2019s too quiet.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCome on Angel,\u201d Cordy groaned, from where she was changing Connor\u2019s diaper. \u201cSure we haven\u2019t had to stake or decapitate anything in the past 48 hours. And yes, I haven\u2019t had any mind-numbingly painful visions as of late. But that just means it\u2019s quiet. That doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s TOO quiet,\u201d Cordelia clarified, without looking up, as she quickly taped down the sides of the new diaper.<\/p>\n
Angel watched, admiring the efficiency. She\u2019s really getting good at that. <\/i>Actually, everyone in the hotel was getting good. He smiled, remembering their first clumsy attempts at diapering.<\/p>\n
Fred, the only one of them with any babysitting experience whatsoever, had given a brief tutoring session. Angel had secretly practiced, in the wee small hours of the morning while his new son slept, diapering and undiapering a doll he\u2019d found in the attic. Wes had studied the instructions on the diaper package for a good twenty minutes.<\/p>\n
Gunn had given up on the traditional approach after a couple tries\u2014choosing to simply duck tape the diaper on. And as usual, Cordelia had acted like she knew what she was doing. But Angel had found the passages she\u2019d highlighted in the baby book.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat exactly is \u2018too quiet\u2019 supposed to mean, anyway,\u201d Gunn asked, as he walked over to the counter they stood behind holding a giant bag of takeout food and sucking on an enormous Super Big Gulp.<\/p>\n
\u201cI mean, the only time you ever hear it is on TV. It\u2019s like, \u2018oooh, it\u2019s too quiet, Scully\u2019 and then \u2018you\u2019re right Mulder, clearly the presence of silence means we\u2019re in grave danger\u2019. Whatever man,\u201d Gunn shook his head and put the bag on the counter. \u201cToo quiet. Do real people even say that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know about real people, but cranky bloodsuckers who are intent on ruining other peoples night sure do,\u201d Cordy replied as she finished snapping up the baby\u2019s onsie.<\/p>\n
\u201cI am not cranky. And could you ix-nay the lud-sucker-bay talk in front of Connor?\u201d Angel whined as he poured two cups of coffee.<\/p>\n
Cordelia ignored his complaint. \u201cDoes it feel chilly down here?\u201d she asked, rooting through the diaper bag. \u201cWhere\u2019s the\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHere,\u201d Angel cut her off, passing her Connor\u2019s tiny hat.<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks,\u201d Cordy smiled and turned back to his son.<\/p>\n
Out of the corner of his eye, Angel saw Gunn smirk. What is so funny? Is it my hair? I bet it\u2019s my hair. Everyone makes fun of my hair, but do they ever actually tell me when something\u2019s wrong? NO. They just let me walk around like a jackass. <\/i><\/p>\n
Angel lightly patted at the gelled spikes. \u201cNow, about me trying to ruin other peoples night\u2026\u201d he said, hoping to distract Gunn from whatever was making him smirk like that.<\/p>\n
Cordy slipped the hat on Connor\u2019s head and then turned back to the other two men. \u201cDon\u2019t deny it. You\u2019re trying to make trouble again Angel.\u201d She put both hands on her hips and gave him a teasing glare.<\/p>\n
Angel put the coffee pot down and wiped his suddenly sweaty palms on his pants. Even when Cordelia\u2019s glare was teasing it was still a tad\u2026intimidating. And more than a tad arousing. <\/i>\u201cI just don\u2019t see what the big deal is.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel frowned at the whininess in his voice but went on. \u201cIt\u2019s just one night,\u201d he reminded them. \u201cHaving seen more than my fair share of New Years, they\u2019re pretty much all the same.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia rolled her eyes. Angel busied himself adding some Equal to Cordy\u2019s coffee and two sugars to his. Gunn shrugged and slurped loudly on his Big Gulp, bracing himself for another session of what Fred liked to call Angel and Cordelia\u2019s Adventures in Flirtatious Banter.<\/p>\n
Leaving Connor, Cordy walked over to where Angel stood. \u201cNew Year\u2019s Eve is a very important night,\u201d she informed him as she draped a cloth over his left shoulder.<\/p>\n
\u201cSure it is Cordy,\u201d Angel said, leaning down and getting in her face. \u201cIt\u2019s an important night for bartenders to jack up their prices.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cListen buddy,\u201d Cordelia said, leaning up and getting in his face right back. \u201cI\u2019ll have you know, how you spend New Year\u2019s Eve determines the next 365 days of your life.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s crazy,\u201d he retorted. Cordelia snorted and stuck out her tongue. In reply, Angel vamped out and crossed his eyes. Gunn spit Pepsi all over the counter and Cordy couldn\u2019t contain her giggles. She clucked him on the chin and went back over to the baby.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re daddy\u2019s a gigantic goofball, you know that, don\u2019t you Connor?\u201d she crooned, scooping him up and running a finger over his tiny perfect eyebrow. Shaking off the bumpiness, Angel stared at the pretty picture they made until she started back over to him. He busied himself adding cream to her coffee.<\/p>\n
\u201cI just changed him,\u201d she said, as they handed off the baby. Angel was supremely conscious of every brush of her skin on his. The way her hand, caught for a second between his chest and Connor\u2019s wiggly body, pressed up against where his heart should be beating. \u201cHe took most of his bottle,\u201d Cordy put her hand on Angel\u2019s shoulder, \u201cso all he needs from Daddy is a burp.\u201d<\/p>\n
From the other side of the counter, Gunn set his drink down and let out a burp that seemed to bounce off the Hyperion\u2019s walls like an echo. Cordy cringed, gave Angel a quick squeeze and headed for the kitchen.<\/p>\n
He leaned down to his son\u2019s ear and pointed across the counter at Gunn. \u201cDid you hear that Connor? Say \u2018thank you Uncle Gunn\u2019 for showing you how burping\u2019s really done.\u201d Connor gave a wet gurgly smile.<\/p>\n
Gunn grinned and waved. \u201cAnytime little man, anytime,\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel shifted the baby to his left side and with his free hand, he started to unpack the food \u201cIsn\u2019t Fred eating dinner?\u201d he inquired, automatically handing the biggest carton to his friend.<\/p>\n
Gunn shook his head. \u201cShe told me she was too nervous to eat. This is the first time she\u2019s really stepped out, since, you know\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHer five-year vacation in Hell\u201d Angel filled in.<\/p>\n
\u201cExactly,\u201d Gunn said, leaning over and snagging a plastic fork. \u201cFred headed upstairs around four and told me not to expect her until sometime after eight.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel absently patted Connor\u2019s back. \u201cWell, does she, you know, need any help getting ready?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you offering?\u201d Gunn asked, leaning back in his chair and glaring at the vampire. He sounded more than a little upset at the prospect of Angel helping Fred get dressed. He almost sounded\u2026jealous. <\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cNo. No, not me,\u201d Angel sputtered. \u201cI meant I could send Cordy up.\u201d<\/p>\n
Thoroughly pacified, Gunn went back to his Hunan Shrimp. \u201cNaw, Cordy\u2019s done enough. Did you see that dress she picked out for Fred to wear tonight?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. Is it nice?\u201d<\/p>\n
It must have been nice, because Gunn stopped eating. \u201cSure it\u2019s nice. What there is of it,\u201d Gunn grumbled good-naturedly.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, it beats the hell out of burlap,\u201d Cordelia shouted from the door to the kitchen. Then the microwave beeped from the other room and she disappeared again.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt is pretty hot,\u201d Gunn conceded once it was just the two of them. \u201cGirl is gonna be seriously smokin\u2019 tonight.\u201d Gunn looked contemplative and excited and just a teeny bit nervous. He looked the way Angel felt when Cordy went through that micro-mini skirt phase. Which meant\u2026<\/p>\n
\u201cGunn, are you\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
Gunn nervously popped out of his chair. \u201cSooo, lets get the rest of this food unpacked. Wes said to just put his in the fridge, uh, so, uh, which of this is Cordy\u2019s?\u201d He was clearly trying to change the subject. He likes her. Gunn has a crush. On Fred. But he\u2019s so\u2026 And she\u2019s so\u2026 <\/i>Angel did understand his reluctance to discuss it. God knows he hated people prying in his love-life.<\/p>\n
Angel struggled to contain his smile. \u201cThe rice and the sweet and sour soup are Cordy’s,\u201d he said quietly. Gunn nodded and gave him a look, silently thanking him for not pressing the matter. Are we having a moment? I think Gunn and I might be having a moment. <\/i><\/p>\n
Cordelia walked out of the kitchen holding a steaming mug. \u201cSo are we still discussing how great Fred\u2019s going to look tonight?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n
Angel glanced quickly at Gunn\u2019s panicked face. \u201cNope, nope,\u201d he said. \u201cWe, uh, we were talking about\u2026Gunn\u2019s outfit. He\u2019ll be wearing, uh, pants, with, you know, a shirt.\u201d She gave him a quizzical look. \u201cPretty exciting, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia tapped her foot and raised an eyebrow. \u201cAnd you are oddly concerned about Gunn\u2019s apparel why?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel nervously bounced the baby. How come one tiny lie always resulted in a million more tiny lies? When am I going to learn? Don\u2019t lie to Cordelia.<\/i>\u201cUh, what\u2019s so odd about it? You know I have an interest in fashion.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah. Sure. How could I forget?\u201d Cordy deadpanned, setting the cup down in front of Angel. \u201cHere you go, 98.6. Just the way you like it.\u201d She paused for a second and then grinned up at him. \u201cSaying that, that should bother me more shouldn\u2019t it? You know you\u2019ve been in the business too long when you\u2019re nuking your boss\u2019s blood and you don\u2019t blink an eye.\u201d She giggled and moved to open the food Gunn placed in front of her.<\/p>\n
Angel wasn\u2019t sure what he was supposed to say to that. First she\u2019d smiled at him and he\u2019d come THAT close to dropping the baby. It was that easy comfortable, super-wide smile of hers. She really shouldn\u2019t flash that baby without giving me some warning. <\/i><\/p>\n
And then, what she had said. About the blood not bothering her. Down boy. Don\u2019t get too excited. Just cause heating up pigs blood doesn\u2019t make her want to yak, that doesn\u2019t mean she wouldn\u2019t mind dating a creature of the night. That doesn\u2019t mean she\u2019d accept me in her life like that. In her body like that. <\/i>Angel gave a small shiver at that thought. Being with Cordelia like that was almost painful to imagine. He felt warmer just standing next to her. Being inside her\u2026that would be like diving into a volcano. Okay, I really can\u2019t be thinking these things. Not now. Not while we\u2019re eating dinner with Gunn. And not with her going out tonight to do God knows what without me. And certainly not while I\u2019m burping Connor. There\u2019s something elementally wrong with getting an erection while holding a baby. <\/i><\/p>\n
Cordy was staring disappointedly at her plain white rice. She still hadn\u2019t sat down and now it looked like she didn\u2019t even want to. I told her she would regret trying to diet. I told her it wouldn\u2019t matter, cause the most she could lose in 24 hours was a few ounces. I told her that she didn\u2019t need to lose any weight, that she looked fine. Okay, I didn\u2019t say fine. I said proportional. But still. <\/i><\/p>\n
Angel could only watch as Cordelia carefully eyed Gunn and all the food in front of him. She\u2019s clearly plotting something. Should I warn him? Nahhh. <\/i>He had a feeling he knew where this was going. Still patting his son on the back, Angel leaned against the counter and sipped at his blood. She really does know how to heat this up to the absolute perfect temperature. <\/i><\/p>\n
Suddenly Cordy\u2019s hand snaked out, reaching for one of Gunn\u2019s egg rolls. But Gunn years defending the streets of Los Angeles had given him remarkably quick reflexes. He stabbed the top of her hand with his plastic fork.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh no you didn\u2019t. You did not just make a grab for my food,\u201d Gunn cried out. \u201cTryin\u2019 to put those grubby paws of yours on my dinner.\u201d He shook his head.<\/p>\n
Cordelia clutched at the offending paw. \u201cGunn! I\u2019m not grubby.\u201d She pouted. \u201cPlease. I just want one egg roll.\u201d She started inching her hand closer.<\/p>\n
Gunn moved his food further away from her. \u201cDon\u2019t even try it Cordy. That quivery lip thing only works on Captain Cannibal over there. Ask him to share!\u201d<\/p>\n
They both turned to Angel, who simply lifted his mug in Cordelia\u2019s direction. She waved it off with an \u201cUghhh\u201d and turned back to Gunn. \u201cPlease,\u201d she whined, clasping her hands together as if in prayer.<\/p>\n
Gunn looked to Angel. \u201cGive me a hand here?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel ignored the request. \u201cYou know, technically Gunn, I\u2019m not a cannibal. Cannibals eat people. I drink blood. And it\u2019s not even people blood anymore,\u201d he eagerly pointed out, setting the cup full of non-people blood back on the counter.<\/p>\n
Gunn blew out a puff of air in exasperation. \u201cBro. Focus. Make her leave me alone.\u201d<\/p>\n
Thinking they were suitably distracted, Cordelia was preparing to lunge across the counter again when Angel\u2019s hand came down, solidly clasping her shoulder. \u201cCordy, stop tormenting Gunn,\u201d he ordered, pushing her down into the chair. \u201cIf you\u2019re hungry, eat YOUR food.\u201d Cordelia mumbled something about how Gunn needed to watch his back, but eventually relaxed and reached for her fork.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel, can you\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
He set the soy sauce down in front of her before she was halfway through with her request.<\/p>\n
\u201cAll right, that\u2019s it,\u201d Gunn said loudly, drawing confused glances from both Angel and Cordy. \u201cIt\u2019s official. You two are spending WAY too much time together.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s that supposed to mean?\u201d Angel asked. If anything, we don\u2019t spend enough time together. If I had my way, she would live here, at the hotel. I don\u2019t like her living across town. Okay, it\u2019s six minutes away, with traffic, but still\u2026 I don\u2019t trust that Dennis anymore. Lately I\u2019ve been getting the feeling that he\u2019s been looking at her. When he shouldn\u2019t be. Not that I resent a dead guy getting whatever action he can. Just not with her.<\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, what is that supposed to mean?\u201d Cordy seconded the question, before reaching up around Angel\u2019s neck and tucking his tag back under his shirt.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat!\u201d Gunn pointed. \u201cIt means stuff like that. And how you both keep knowing what the other person wants before they ask. That\u2019s creepy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordy swallowed her rice. \u201cThat\u2019s not creepy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel nodded. \u201cThat\u2019s nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay. Fine. But what about how you carry lipstick and hair bands in your coat pockets for her?\u201d Gunn exclaimed. Angel looked down. It wasn\u2019t something he was proud of.<\/p>\n
\u201cHis coat has bigger pockets!\u201d Cordy shouted. \u201cSo what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd you,\u201d Gunn turned to her. \u201cYou, who got a Christmas card from the butcher. The butcher Cordelia!\u201d She just shrugged.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo?\u201d Angel asked. Harvey sent her a Christmas card? I\u2019m the one who PAYS for the blood. She just stops in and picks it up now and then. But do I get a card? Of course not. Nobody thinks about wishing the vampire Happy Holidays. <\/i><\/p>\n
Gunn got a serious look on his face. \u201cYou\u2019re starting to dress alike,\u201d he said solemnly, wagging his plastic fork at them.<\/p>\n
Cordy and Angel immediately turned to each other. Okay, so we\u2019re both wearing black pants and light blue tops. But everyone wears black pants. That\u2019s probably the most popular pants color. And her shirt is one those tiny clingy ones. And it has a V-neck. Mine doesn\u2019t have a V-neck. Hey. That V-neck goes down really far. <\/i>Angel started to casually angle his head to get a better look down said V-neck, but then he caught Gunn watching him.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe are not dressed alike!\u201d Angel retorted.<\/p>\n
Yeah Gunn,\u201d Cordy said . \u201cYou\u2019re crazy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Gunn pushed the now-empty carton of food away. \u201cDenial ain\u2019t just a river in Egypt kids. Well, I\u2019m done. I need to head home. Go get pretty for tonight.\u201d He stood up and brushed off his clothes. \u201cYou two have fun tonight.\u201d He leaned over and gave Cordelia a smacking kiss on the lips. \u201cHappy New Year.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRight back atcha,\u201d she told him.<\/p>\n
Gunn leaned over toward Angel, who raised his hand to ward him off. \u201cWe can skip the kiss,\u201d Angel stated.<\/p>\n
\u201cYour loss bro,\u201d Gunn called out as he walked away. \u201cY\u2019all be good,\u201d he called out as he closed the door behind him.<\/p>\n
For a while they just sat there, not talking. Angel rubbed soft circles on the baby\u2019s back and finished his blood. Cordy sipped unobtrusively at her soup.<\/p>\n
It wasn\u2019t their usual comfortable silence. Angel couldn\u2019t stop thinking about what Gunn had said. Cordy looked like she was still processing it too. There was a strained, almost-tension in the air as they let their friend\u2019s words sink in.<\/p>\n
He was right, <\/i>Angel thought. We do spend a lot of time together. And maybe we have changed a little. Shaped each other. <\/i>Angel wasn\u2019t unpleased with this theory. It gave him something he hadn\u2019t had since he began looking at Cordelia in new and confusing ways. It gave him hope.<\/p>\n
Suddenly Connor let out a loud belch, bringing them back from their respective reveries and making them laugh.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t think Gunn knows what he\u2019s talking about,\u201d Cordy said.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know,\u201d Angel agreed, \u201cjust because we both look good in blue?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cExactly,\u201d Angel told her. He moved away, placing Connor gently in the bassinet. He tucked the blanket more securely around the baby. \u201cSo, are you still going out with those girls tonight?\u201d he asked, not looking at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cMarissa and Jessie are not \u2018those girls\u2019 and yes, we\u2019re still going out.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSure you don\u2019t want to stay here?\u201d Angel wheedled. \u201cYou could watch the ball drop. And there\u2019s gonna be a \u2018Three Stooges\u2019 marathon on and\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI hate the \u2018Three Stooges,\u201d Cordelia interjected.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd we won\u2019t be watching them,\u201d Angel smoothly covered his error. \u201cInstead we could\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel,\u201d Cordy started playing with the paper napkin that had been sitting on her lap. \u201cI\u2019m going out,\u201d she told him. He walked over to her and she twisted on her stool to face him.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know you won\u2019t really have any fun.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh really?\u201d She raised a lone eyebrow.<\/p>\n
\u201cReally,\u201d he stated matter-of-factly. \u201cYou\u2019ll regret it all tomorrow. You’ll get stumbling drunk and stain your dress and make-out with some dorky orthodontist.\u201d Who I will then have to hunt down and kill. <\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cHey, do you know how much money orthodontists make?\u201d Cordelia joked, fumbling more with the napkin.<\/p>\n
Angel stepped closer, boxing her in, so he was almost standing between her legs. \u201cCordyyy,\u201d he drawled.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngellll,\u201d she shot back.<\/p>\n
Their heads were so close their noses were almost touching. Their lips were almost kissing. He felt when she realized it too. She blinked and stiffly leaned back, bracing her hand against his chest. Erecting a barrier between them. There goes that hope I was feeling earlier.<\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cAngel, seriously, tonight, it is important. To me. I want to start the new year right,\u201d she explained.<\/p>\n
\u201cExactly,\u201d Angel said, taking a small step back but keeping his eyes fixed on hers. \u201cWhat\u2019s more right than ringing in the year with the people you\u2026with your family?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordy looked down at the shredded napkin in her lap. \u201cAngel, don\u2019t get me wrong. I love my life. My job. You guys. But\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut what?\u201d Angel really wished she would look at him. If she\u2019s going to tell me why I\u2019m not enough, she should at least look me in the eye. Look at me!<\/i><\/p>\n
She granted his unspoken command. \u201cBut\u2026I\u2019m tired of being alone. I\u2019m not like you, I\u2019m not good at it.\u201d Angel desperately wanted to interrupt. She\u2019s not alone. She has me. <\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m tired of not having anyone to hold my hand during the scary part of the movie. I\u2019m tired of no one even asking me to go to the movies,\u201d Cordelia went on. I asked her to the movies. I invited her to go see \u201cLord of the Rings\u201d opening night. She told me she\u2019d rather change her name to Buffy. Women. <\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cAngel, I\u2019m tired of nodding like I understand when my friends talk about having incredible sex all night long. Cause then there\u2019s me, whose last fling was two years ago and ended up getting me pregnant with demon puppies. I\u2019m tired of\u2026I just need more.\u201d Uncomfortable with sharing so much, Cordelia stood up and slid out of the space between Angel and the counter. She grabbed her food and threw it in the trash.<\/p>\n
She wanted more? Angel could give her more. More what though? Sure my soul\u2019s permanent, so we could make love. But that doesn\u2019t change anything. I\u2019m still a vampire. Still raising a child I created with my evil lover. I\u2019m still the reason she gets visions that, one day, are going to destroy her. <\/i><\/p>\n
He watched her, as she peeked into the bassinet. Her face softened. Her eyes brightened. Lines from pain and exhaustion faded as she looked down at Connor.<\/p>\n
Cordelia caught him staring but she didn\u2019t say anything, she just smiled, before leaning down and brushing a soft kiss on the child\u2019s forehead. She walked back over to where Angel still stood, frozen.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ll be okay, right? Tonight? Alone?\u201d Cordelia gazed up at him questioningly. \u201cI don\u2019t want you starting off 2002 brooding.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel wasn\u2019t sure how to respond. He knew he\u2019d be okay. He\u2019d spent so many years alone. What was one more night? But I don\u2019t want to just be okay. Okay\u2019s not good enough, not anymore.<\/i><\/p>\n
He hadn\u2019t answered her and Cordelia looked concerned. \u201cI mean, if you really want me to stay, you know, just say the word.\u201d<\/p>\n
She would. He knew that. Cordelia had already proven she would sacrifice just about anything for them. She talked big. She could be abrasive and snotty. She had a healthy amount of self-interest. But Angel knew, when it came right down to it, that Cordy put the welfare and happiness of her family above her own. She would stay if he wanted.<\/p>\n
He wanted her to stay. He wanted her to stay and to never leave. He wanted her there, in the dark with him, forever and for always. But that\u2019s too much to ask. And so is this. <\/i>It was, after all, just one night. She deserved a night of normal.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel? Just say the word,\u201d Cordy repeated softly.<\/p>\n
\u201cGo,\u201d he told her, trying for an air of nonchalance. \u201cHave fun.\u201d<\/p>\n
She bit down on her bottom lip, studying him. \u201cAre you sure?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSure I\u2019m sure,\u201d Angel said, steering her towards the door. Why bother to prolong the inevidable? <\/i>\u201cMe and Connor have big plans. Boys Night In. Just me, him, and Dick Clark.\u201d He opened the door. \u201cNow look at the time. Clock is ticking. You need to start getting ready. I\u2019m sure you\u2019ll have a great time.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia stopped in the door way and looked back over her shoulder at him. \u201cI\u2019ll stop by to check on you before I meet\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t bother. I told you, we have plans. We might even pop open a bottle at midnight,\u201d he ad-libbed, putting his hand on the small of her back and pushing her forward.<\/p>\n
She braced her hand against the doorframe, impeding his progress. \u201cChampagne?\u201d Cordy asked, still craning her neck around to see him.<\/p>\n
\u201cFormula,\u201d he corrected and pushed her out the door.<\/p>\n
Once outside, she turned around to look at him with a cute, perplexed little half-smile. The setting sun behind her stood in stark contrast to the Hyperion, which suddenly seemed dim and dark in comparison.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel are you\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGood. Great. Have fun tonight. Bye,\u201d he babbled and quickly shut the door.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay?\u201d he heard her say from outside. Angel waited by the door, listening until she finally walked away. He ambled vacantly around the lobby. It hadn\u2019t been easy, pushing Cordelia away like that.<\/p>\n
It won\u2019t be any easier tonight. It\u2019s not like I don\u2019t know what\u2019s going to happen. I\u2019ll give Connor a bath, obsess over whether Cordy\u2019s safe, change a few diapers, compulsively check my cell phone, give the baby a bottle, obsess more, and then put the baby to bed. Whereupon I will brood until midnight, watch the ball drop, and then brood some more. <\/i><\/p>\n
Angel flashed back to something Cordelia had said earlier.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll have you know, how you spend New Year\u2019s Eve determines the next 365 days of your life.\u201d<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t know if I can take another year of this.<\/i><\/p>\n