Part 2<\/b><\/p>\n
Angel ran out of the room, pausing when he got to the stairs and looking over his shoulder to double-check that Lorne and whatever was underneath that robe of his weren\u2019t following him. Luckily the hallway was clear.<\/p>\n
I should feel a little guilty. Leaving my crying child. <\/i>But Angel\u2019s instinct for self-preservation had overridden any fatherly concerns. He was sure Connor would understand.<\/p>\n
He started to head down, then thought better of it. Better check the situation out before just diving right in. Cordy could have calmed down, or she could be throwing things. I might have graduated from the School of Dumb Planning, but I have learned something in the past three years. <\/i>Before focusing on what the voices below him were saying, he took a moment to just look down, over the lobby, over all that was his.<\/p>\n
It was shocking when he thought about it. How much everything had changed. How much I\u2019ve changed. <\/i>Ten years ago he\u2019d been wandering the earth, utterly without purpose. A shadow of a man with a shadow of a life. And then he\u2019d met Buffy, which, for better or worse, had set him on the path he walked today.<\/p>\n
I came to L.A. with nothing. <\/i>Angel wondered if anyone truly knew how dark that time had been for him. How hard it had been to wake up with only the promise of another day without her. He hadn\u2019t known he who was until he\u2019d met Buffy, and he hadn\u2019t been sure what he would be without her. He was sure, however, that the man he was today, was in large part due to the people downstairs.<\/p>\n
He\u2019d come to L.A. with nothing and look at him now. He was a father. He\u2019d never realized how much he\u2019d wanted that, not until he\u2019d first held his son.Who is probably going to be traumatized by his babysitter and grow up with a troubling fondness for gold lam\u00e9, but oh well. <\/i><\/p>\n
He had a real home now too. Angel ran his hands over the polished wood of the railing, nodding his head slowly. There was a certain pride in ownership, in being able to point to something and say \u201cMine,\u201d instilled centuries ago in Ireland. He loved the hotel like a person. He loved the way it made them all, even him, feel safe.<\/p>\n
Angel had friends now. He let his eyes focus on the people below. Gunn sitting on the round couch, playing his Game Boy and screaming the occasional obscenity at the machine. Fred, perched on her knees next to him, watching over his shoulder, giggling and encouraging. The scene was striking in it\u2019s comfortableness and it\u2019s normalcy and he loved it. Angel loved the times when nothing was happening. Because that\u2019s when everything happened.<\/p>\n
A child, a home, a purpose, and friends who cared about him. Angel had everything. Well almost. <\/i><\/p>\n
On cue, as if there was an unseen director choreographing all their moves, he watched Cordy stomp out of the kitchen, muttering to herself and swinging a large black trash bag.<\/p>\n
How did this happen? When did this happen? <\/i>Angel desperately wanted to know the point when things had changed with Cordy. Not that he wanted to go back and erase it. He just needed to understand the series of events that led to his current state. How she\u2019d snuck into his head, never once alerting his defenses. Voices, louder now, drifted up to him.<\/p>\n
\u201cNever thought I\u2019d see the day when your punk ass would be taking out the trash Cordy,\u201d Gunn said, the glee in his voice evident. The spectacle was entertaining enough for him to put down his Game-Boy.<\/p>\n
Cordy dropped the bag at her feet and made a face. \u201cI\u2019m not taking out the trash,\u201d she clarified. \u201cI was cleaning out the cupboards.\u201d<\/p>\n
Fred, still leaning over Gunn\u2019s shoulder, which was odd since he\u2019d stopped playing the video game, looked up. \u201cThe cupboards? But the only thing in the cupboards is FOOD.\u201d Fred sounded horrified.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d Cordy told them, reaching for the trash bag again, \u201cthe only thing in the cupboards were empty calories. Twinkies, Ritz Crackers, Pop-Tarts\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThose were mine!\u201d Gunn cried out.<\/p>\n
Cordy didn\u2019t blink an eye. \u201cThree boxes of cookies, a bag\u2014an entire bag of mini-Snickers bars, Apple Newtons, which are actually fat-free but have WAY too much sugar, every last bag of Doritos\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
Fred hopped up. \u201cIs this a joke? If this is a joke, I\u2019m not laughing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDamn girl, did you leave anything in there?\u201d Gunn asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course. I left the Diet Snapple and a box of raisins,\u201d Cordelia replied.<\/p>\n
\u201cRaisins?\u201d Gunn did not sound like a raisin fan.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey\u2019re nature\u2019s candy,\u201d Cordy told him.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can\u2019t\u2026the Doritos\u2026you can\u2019t throw that stuff away,\u201d Fred announced, reaching for the bag.<\/p>\n
Watching the tug-of-war begin, Angel smiled. Maybe Cordelia had argued her way into his heart. Lord knows we\u2019ve fought enough over the years. <\/i>The odd thing was, Angel strangely liked most of their fights.<\/p>\n
It was nice to argue with someone over the price of a sweater, instead of whether it was wrong to be together. It was comfortable to bicker over whose turn it was to change a baby\u2019s diaper, instead of how to best avert an apocalypse. Why the screaming fight they\u2019d had last week at the supermarket over generic paper towels had been one of his favorite days ever.<\/p>\n
They\u2019d both been so angry. Cordelia, yelling how they were buying \u201cBrawny\u201d so he might as well accept it. Him calling her a paper-product snob. Her pushing the shopping cart into his hip so hard he\u2019d fallen into the fabric softener display, knocking everything over. Him chucking the 12-pack of toilet-paper at her. The way they\u2019d both abruptly burst into laughter at the ridiculousness of it all. And how that old woman had shaken her head at them, muttering about \u201cyoung love\u201d to her husband. That was a great day. <\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cPut down that bag Cordelia, or I swear, I will hurt you,\u201d Fred hollered, snapping Angel out of his reverie. \u201cI spent five years in a hell dimension. I learned things!\u201d Angel grinned to himself. Fred\u2019s getting better at this. <\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cI learned things too Fred,\u201d Cordy said. \u201cI learned what complex carbohydrates and processed sugars will do to a formerly-perfect body.\u201d From where Angel was standing, which afforded him a wonderful view of her ample cleavage, he thought her body was still damn near perfect.<\/p>\n
Cordy let Fred take the food and leaned against the counter, pouting. \u201cI learned that despite my efforts\u2026I have let myself become\u2026fat.\u201d<\/p>\n
Still keeping a tight grip of the bag of goodies, Fred made a commiserating face. \u201cThat\u2019s why you\u2019re doing all this?\u201d Cordelia just nodded, jutting her lower lip out anymore. \u201cCordy, you are not the least bit fat. You look wonderful.\u201d Cordelia just looked morosely at Gunn, who did nothing. Fred sighed and nudged Gunn on the arm.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat, oh, yeah, yeah, you\u2019re not fat,\u201d Gunn said.<\/p>\n
Cordelia looked him up and down and crossed her arms over her waist, and even from upstairs, Angel could hear Gunn groan. \u201cGunn,\u201d she asked rather sweetly, \u201cwhat did you used to call me?\u201d<\/p>\n
Gunn was at a loss. He clearly had no idea what she was talking about. Fred nudged him again, urging him to answer. \u201cUh, whitey?\u201d he guessed.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo Gunn,\u201d Cordy said, her voice rising, \u201cyou used to call me Stick Figure Barbie. Stick Figure Barbie. Gunn, would you call me Stick Figure Barbie now? Hmmm, what would you call me now?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMore than a Mouthful Barbie?\u201d Gunn offered. This time Fred hit him on the arm a lot harder than before. Cordelia snorted. Angel frowned. He does not need to be saying that to Cordy. I don\u2019t need that mental picture, of his mouth, on her\u2026. <\/i>He moved closer to the stairs.<\/p>\n
\u201cLook, Cordy, guys like girls like you. They don\u2019t want some starving model. They want a girl with a little somethin\u2019-somethin, know what I\u2019m sayin?\u201d Fred coughed and Gunn became aware of his mistake.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut you know, no one likes a fattie. Now, skinny girls. That\u2019s where it\u2019s at,\u201d he proclaimed, clapping Fred soundly on the back. This time Cordy coughed angrily. Gunn looked scared. There was no way to make both girls happy. From his perch above them, Angel tried to telepathically communicate with his friend. Run. Run fast. <\/i><\/p>\n
Gunn must have gotten the message. The door to the office opened and Wesley started over to them. Clearly not caring enough to try and warn his friend, Gunn made a speedy exit. \u201cI\u2019ll just go put this food away,\u201d he said quickly, picking up the bag and walking out of the room, without waiting for a response.<\/p>\n
Angel was debating if it was a good time to head down. Cordy seemed calmer now, as Fred spoke quietly to her. Wes was now standing on the other side of the counter and no one seemed to be yelling at him. Maybe it was safe?<\/p>\n
\u201cYou should be happy,\u201d Fred told her friend. \u201cWhen I was in high school, I would have died to be as\u2026uh\u2026curvy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t want to be curvy,\u201d Cordelia whined. \u201cI want to be svelte. Slender. Slight.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia leaned far over the counter, reaching for her purse, not realizing that by bending over she was giving Wesley quite a show. Angel\u2019s hands curled into tight fists as he watched Wes stare intently down Cordy\u2019s low cut top. Oh come on. This is a business. No one\u2019s allowed to just be looking down her shirt like that. <\/i>Angel quickly amended that statement. No one\u2019s allowed to look down her shirt EXCEPT me. <\/i>He started down the stairs.<\/p>\n
Cordy, still bent over as she tried to fish her brush out of her purse, complained, \u201cCurvy sucks.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot from where I\u2019m sitting,\u201d Wesley muttered, apparently too transfixed by the breastage to consider the appropriateness of his words. Fred frowned, Cordy raised an eyebrow, but this time Angel was the one who gave the angry cough.<\/p>\n
Wesley looked over to where the vampire stood at the bottom of the stairs and quickly took a couple of steps away, fixing his eyes on the floor. \u201cAh, yes, so, Cordelia, what are your plans for tomorrow night?\u201d Wesley asked. He met Angel\u2019s eyes and Angel nodded and came over to stand on the other side of Cordelia.<\/p>\n
Gunn, walking out of the kitchen, answered for her. \u201cI\u2019ll tell you what she should be doing. She should be coming with the three of us to my boy Derek\u2019s place. Gonna be the most happening New Year\u2019s party in L.A.\u201d he announced.<\/p>\n
\u201cReally?\u201d Cordy considered.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt should be lots of fun,\u201d Fred told her. \u201cCome!\u201d<\/p>\n
Gunn put his hand on Cordelia\u2019s shoulder. \u201cWe\u2019re talking tons of hotties, just like me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia removed Gunn\u2019s hand from her shoulder, pleasing Angel immensely. \u201cGee, well, as much as I love poor bald men, and lord knows I do,\u201d she said, reaching up and rubbing Gunn\u2019s head, \u201cI think I\u2019ll have to pass.\u201d Angel felt his whole body relax. She isn\u2019t going out with them. She can\u2019t fit into her dress. She can stay here, with me, and at midnight we\u2019ll\u2014 <\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cI have plans,\u201d Cordy went on. \u201cWith those girls I met in that Pilates class, you know, the one I clearly haven\u2019t been going to enough lately.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel tried not to let his disappointment show. Cordelia smiled brightly. \u201cThere\u2019s this huge bash up in the Hollywood Hills. It\u2019s gonna have everything I\u2019m looking for.\u201d<\/p>\n
Gunn, Angel, and Wes all exchanged glances, as if to say, \u201cWhat could she possibly be looking for? She\u2019s got us.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordy answered the unspoken question. \u201cAttractive men with 9 to 5 jobs and 401K\u2019s\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCause those have been working out so well for everyone lately,\u201d Wesley grumbled.<\/p>\n
Cordelia rolled her eyes. \u201cGuys who get no-polish manicures and don\u2019t cut their own hair, guys who drive fast cars\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know, the Plymouth is actually pretty speedy,\u201d Angel felt the need to point out.<\/p>\n
She ignored him completely. \u201cGuys who were in fraternities. Guys who speak French\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cVoulez-vous couchez avec moi c\u2019est soi?\u201d Gunn sang.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh lord,\u201d Fred opined.<\/p>\n
Cordelia wasn\u2019t finished yet, though. \u201cMen who surprise you with Dom Perignon and strawberries. Men who give backrubs that make you melt like butter, make you want to beg them to fuck you, men who know how to use their tongue and teeth to\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think we get the point Cordelia,\u201d Angel growled.<\/p>\n
Fred exhaled loudly. \u201cWow,\u201d she said, her voice strained.<\/p>\n
Seeing Fred\u2019s reaction, Wesley mumbled, \u201cI don\u2019t see what\u2019s so great about\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you kidding me?\u201d Gunn interrupted. \u201cThe way she was making it sound\u2014I\u2019m thinking I want one of those guys!\u201d Everyone\u2019s jaw dropped. \u201cBut I don\u2019t.\u201d Gunn clarified.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo anyway,\u201d Cordelia said, sounding like she was recovering from her weight-woes and starting to look forward to tomorrow night. \u201cThat\u2019s what I\u2019m doing for New Year\u2019s Eve.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMore like who you\u2019re doing,\u201d Gunn joked.<\/p>\n
\u201cGod willing!\u201d she said in turn and everybody laughed. Everybody except Angel.<\/p>\n
IT wasn\u2019t that he was angry. She\u2019s excited and happy. I haven\u2019t seen her like this in so long. Vibrant. Alive. <\/i>He liked her like this, even if what she was excited about made him crazy. Cordy didn\u2019t get many chances like this. Looming over their lives, always unspoken but generally acknowledged, was that the visions were doing very bad things to her. She hurt often. Too often. She\u2019s so young. She deserves nights like that. Men like that. <\/i>Angel wanted her. He wanted her with him, he wanted her to want him the same way. But over-powering all of that, he wanted her to have a life. A life that made her happy. Even if he wasn\u2019t the one who was making her happy.<\/p>\n
That didn\u2019t make it any easier, of course. Listening to her talk about letting other men touch her. Letting them in, letting them know her more intimately than he ever would. He decided to make one last try.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey,\u201d he said, so falsely cheerful that everyone cringed, \u201cI\u2019ve got a great idea.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ve changed your mind and decided to come out with us?\u201d Wes guessed, not sounding altogether happy about it. Fred\u2019s crush on Angel was a little too recent for Wesley\u2019s liking.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d Angel said slowly.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou want to go to the movies?\u201d Fred asked. Wesley made a face.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Fred,\u201d Angel began again, \u201cI was actually thinking that\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat you came to your senses and are giving us a belated Christmas bonus?\u201d Cordy said, bouncing up and down and clapping her hands together.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d Cordelia stuck her tongue out at him, which was unfortunate, because it momentarily distracted Angel and gave Gunn a chance to interrupt.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know,\u201d Gunn said. \u201cYour great idea is that\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNO,\u201d Angel said, more loudly than he intended. I love them all, but sometimes, I want to cut them up into little pieces. Is that wrong? <\/i>\u201cI was thinking, you know what would be really fun?\u201d Gunn opened his mouth and Angel raised his hand to stop him from speaking. \u201cThat was a rhetorical question.\u201d<\/p>\n
He rubbed his hands together. \u201cHow great would it be if no one went out tomorrow night?\u201d Everybody just stared at him. \u201cThink about it guys. Our own private New Year\u2019s Eve party. Much less expensive. No line for the bathroom. Gunn, you would get to pick all the music. It\u2019ll be great,\u201d Angel told them, smiling broadly. \u201cThe whole family. Together.\u201d Angel stopped talking and waited for their reaction.<\/p>\n
Wesley took off his glasses and started to clean them on his shirt. \u201cWell\u2026yes\u2026well.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s a nice offer bro,\u201d Gunn forced a tight grin.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt sounds very\u2026nice,\u201d Fred told him.<\/p>\n
Angel nodded distractedly. Those three could be guilted into almost anything. Like everyone in the room, he knew it all came down to one person.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you kidding me?\u201d Cordelia screeched. \u201cHave you guys lost your mind? You made those plans before Thanksgiving. Fred, I personally spent three days searching for your dress. And Gunn, you\u2019ve been doing that Eight Minute Abs tape for the past month. My God people, Wesley secretly got his teeth whitened!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot such a secret now, though, is it?\u201d Wesley grumbled.<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry Wes,\u201d Cordy had the good graces to admit. \u201cBut my point is, you three have been looking forward to that party. You are going to that party.\u201d<\/p>\n
Fred noticed the forlorn look on Angel\u2019s face. \u201cIt wouldn\u2019t be so bad. Staying home. It would be nice to all be together on New Year’s.\u201d Thanks Fred<\/i>Angel thought.<\/p>\n
\u201cPfftt,\u201d Cordy sputtered. \u201cAnd what? Kiss each other at midnight?\u201d Why Miss Chase, what a wonderful idea. <\/i>But she didn\u2019t seem to think so. She pointed accusingly at Wes. \u201cBeen there, done that, not worth repeating.\u201d Gunn burst out laughing.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey,\u201d Wes cried out, offended.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou kissed Cordelia?\u201d Fred exclaimed.<\/p>\n
Satisfied she\u2019d made her feelings quite clear, Cordelia once again reached for her purse. \u201cWell, I\u2019m out of here. The clock is ticking and I need to find something to wear. I\u2019m thinking black. Short.\u201d Angel swallowed and Fred glanced at him like she\u2019d heard it. \u201cDangerous,\u201d Cordy added, unnecessarily.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve heard good things about muu-muu\u2019s\u201d said Gunn, helpful as always. Cordelia cheerfully gave Gunn the finger.<\/p>\n
Then she patted him on the head, tugged one of Fred\u2019s braids, kissed Wes on the cheek, gave Angel\u2019s left butt-cheek a healthy squeeze, and walked out the door.<\/p>\n