{"id":4020,"date":"2015-07-06T00:29:21","date_gmt":"2015-07-05T23:29:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/?p=4020"},"modified":"2015-07-06T01:04:19","modified_gmt":"2015-07-06T00:04:19","slug":"bad-timing-22","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/2015\/07\/06\/bad-timing-22\/","title":{"rendered":"Bad Timing. 22"},"content":{"rendered":"

Part 22<\/b>: Face the Music<\/em><\/p>\n

Buffy felt like she was waking up from a dream. Not a normal dream prophesizing apocalypses or about being naked in public, but a far more confusing, and yes, terrifying dream.<\/p>\n

How did a simple fight with Cordelia get so far out of control? My god, I almost HIT her. What\u2019s wrong with me?<\/i><\/p>\n

She looked up to see Angel slowly coming downstairs with his demon friend Lorne. She couldn\u2019t tell what he was thinking. But then, he had been pretty hard to read ever since she got to LA.<\/p>\n

The group stood in an misshapen circle, staring at each other. No one spoke for minutes. No one knew what to say. Finally Xander\u2019s tendency to yammer kicked in.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, uncomfortable silence, that\u2019s always fun. Almost the theme for this weekend you could say.\u201d Willow made a face and Xander shut up, looking down at his shoes. He decided he might just stay that way until they headed back home. They probably would have resumed the silence had Gunn and Fred not burst in right then.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy did Barbie just run out into a cab without saying anything to us? And anyone care to explain why she was crying?\u201d Gunn asked threateningly. He turned to Xander, saying, \u201cWhat did you do?\u201d<\/p>\n

Xander raised both hands to chest level as if to ward Gunn off and backed up a couple of steps. \u201cWait a second, Barbie?\u201d<\/p>\n

Fred sighed, before explaining, \u201cCordelia. He means Cordelia.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I figured that,\u201d Xander said. \u201cBut why Barbie?\u201d<\/p>\n

Buffy felt like she was losing her mind. Yeah right, I probably lost my mind a long time ago. This is just me hitting the bottom of the craziness barrel. Next I\u2019ll be walking down the street talking to myself and calling squirrels my babies. <\/i><\/p>\n

This was just too much. First that whole scene with Cordelia, then everyone finding out about her and Spike, and know, what were they doing, discussing Gunn\u2019s pet names? This was insane and Buffy had totally lost control and Angel was shooting her looks that didn\u2019t exactly look like they were filled with true love and THIS WAS ALL CORDELIA\u2019S FAULT.<\/p>\n

With her butting in tonight and her stupidly saving Buffy last night and with those looks she made Angel give her. Yes, it was clearly Cordelia\u2019s fault. All of it.<\/p>\n

\u201cCordelia as Barbie?\u201d Buffy said, snorting. \u201cOh that\u2019s just too perfect. They\u2019re both plastic and empty-headed and are only popular because of their breast size.\u201d Even as the words came out of her mouth, Buffy realized just how venomous and immature she sounded. It\u2019s not even like I really think that. Maybe no one noticed.<\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cBuffy!?!\u201d Willow chided. No one else said anything right away but Gunn took a step forward and Buffy swore she thought Angel growled. Xander gave her a look that looked a lot like pity.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s just about enough Slayer,\u201d she heard Spike say. Slayer? What happened to Buffy? <\/i><\/p>\n

She felt dizzy, so she sat down on the round couch. Finally Xander moved to sit next to her, careful to distance himself a couple of inches. Like he didn\u2019t want to have her accidentally touch him or something. Like she disgusted him.<\/p>\n

\u201cBuffy,\u201d Xander said, \u201cthose things you said, the things you were saying, they were, I mean, how could\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou were mean,\u201d Willow said, coming to stand in front of her friend. \u201cYou were unbelievably cruel, especially considering the circumstances.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou guys,\u201d Buffy wearily tried to defend herself. \u201cI wasn\u2019t fighting alone. Did you hear what she was saying to me? About me?\u201d<\/p>\n

Willow sat down on her other side. \u201cThey were true, though, weren\u2019t they,\u201d she asked, not looking at Buffy. \u201cYou and Spike.\u201d<\/p>\n

Buffy swallowed and nodded. The truth was out now, might as well not bother with denying it. Will and Xander would just have to accept it. And Angel.<\/p>\n

Oh my God, Angel! I can\u2019t believe he had to find out this way. I never wanted to hurt him like this. <\/i>She looked up at her one time lover with tears in her eyes. \u201cI, Angel, the thing with Spike, it\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

She didn\u2019t finish her sentence and Angel didn\u2019t mind because he definitely had something of his own to say. He couldn\u2019t believe how the girl he had once loved, the WOMAN a part of him would always love, was acting like this.<\/p>\n

\u201cI could really care less about you and Spike right now. How can you think, let alone SAY that stuff about Cordy.\u201d Angel tried to calm down but he couldn\u2019t get a handle on the anger, no the rage he was feeling. \u201cWhen she, last night she was bleeding, bled because apparently, she was trying to SAVE you. Something by the way, you only decided to mention NOW.\u201d<\/p>\n

Angel\u2019s words stung and Buffy felt herself freeze. Her eyes hardened. So much for loyalty. She channeled the hurt and the guilt into something she could better deal with. Anger.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh please Angel,\u201d Buffy said, standing and starting to pace around the room. \u201cYes, she got hurt and yes, she might have been trying to keep me from getting hurt at the time. But it\u2019s not like she did it for me, it\u2019s not from any abiding concern for me. She only did it for YOU.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u201d came from the room at large.<\/p>\n

Buffy walked over to Angel, putting her hand on her hip. \u201cShe said you couldn\u2019t deal, you wouldn\u2019t be okay if I died again. She only did it so you wouldn\u2019t fall apart and head off to some wacky Tibetan monastery again.\u201d The \u201cstar-crossed lovers\u201d stared at each other in silence.<\/p>\n

\u201cNevertheless luv, did you thank her?\u201d Spike said from behind her. She whirled around to face him as he continued. \u201cShe kept you from getting hurt last night. Who knows, she may have even saved your life. And you know, she tried again to help you today.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t believe you all fell for her little intervention act,\u201d Buffy said grimly. \u201cI don\u2019t NEED Cordelia\u2019s help. I don\u2019t need ANY help.\u201d<\/p>\n

For the second time tonight, someone\u2019s presence in the doorway surprised them. \u201cYou\u2019re wrong you know. You need help,\u201d Dawn said.<\/p>\n

The sight of her sister had Buffy visibly sagging as she felt her anger deflating. All that was left in her was fear and a disturbing feeling that she had really screwed up. But she wasn\u2019t entirely ready to admit that to the group just yet.<\/p>\n

\u201cDawn, I\u2026.\u201d Buffy didn\u2019t know what to say.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou need help and you have people lining up to give it to you and you just keep pushing them away. You know things haven\u2019t been right, haven\u2019t felt right for you, ever since you came back so why can\u2019t you just SAY it.\u201d Dawn walked over and grabbed both of her older sister\u2019s hands. \u201cYou spend your life saving people, helping them.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy can\u2019t you let someone rescue you?\u201d Spike said, putting a reassuring hand on Dawn\u2019s back.<\/p>\n

Buffy closed her eyes then opened them. \u201cI don\u2019t need you to save me,\u201d she said firmly, staring at Spike. \u201cI don\u2019t need YOU. I don\u2019t want to need you.\u201d This time Buffy realized that she was crying and immediately after that she realized she didn\u2019t care. \u201cI just want it to be simple, like it used to be. When everyone was around and we were all happy.\u201d<\/p>\n

This time it was Xander who snorted. \u201cOh, that time when we were all normal and happy? SO was that the year that a fraternity tried to sacrifice you to the demon god they worshipped or was it the year that the spirit of dead Native Americans infected me with syphilis?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was never simple Buf,\u201d Willow agreed. \u201cYou know it wasn\u2019t. It\u2019s never been easy. You and Angel\u2014well that\u2019s never been the most pain-free relationship.\u201d Willow smiled apologetically at Angel, who simply nodded his agreement. \u201cAnd there have always been those pesky apocalypse prophecies. Ohh, and a big bad, always have one of those.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen, why\u2026now\u2026how come I\u2026\u201d Buffy stammered.<\/p>\n

Angel came up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. \u201cBecause you have more responsibilities. Life\u2019s more complicated. And dying is a pretty big reminder that you\u2019re not invincible. That\u2019s all pretty hard to deal with. That\u2019s why you have people who love you\u2014they\u2019re supposed to help you deal. You have to bend Buffy. You have to bend with change, or you\u2019ll break.\u201d<\/p>\n

Buffy\u2019s quiet tears turned into loud heart wrenching sobs and she turned, burying her face into Angel\u2019s chest. His arms came up around her and the others took that as their cue to go upstairs. For once no one even bothered with the making of flimsy excuses. Spike shared a brutal look with his grand-sire and headed down to the basement.<\/p>\n

Angel wasn\u2019t sure how long Buffy cried for, but he did know that at one point he eased them onto the couch. He made sure to keep one arm around her.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay,\u201d he whispered in her ear. \u201cJust let it out. I\u2019ve got you.\u201d The sobs were softer and quieter now.<\/p>\n

Buffy sniffled and sat back a few inches. \u201cYou sound like you\u2019ve done the comforting thing a lot lately. You\u2019re pretty good at dealing with the crying,\u201d she said, wiping her nose on her shirt sleeve.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, between Cordy\u2019s pre-demonization vision pain and Connor being a normal infant, I\u2019m sort of an expert.\u201d<\/p>\n

A laugh slipped out of Buffy and she looked just as shocked as Angel. \u201cEverybody\u2019s right you know,\u201d she said, smiling ruefully. \u201cYou, Dawn, and God strike me down, even Cordelia. You\u2019re right. Right about everything. I\u2019ve been scared and off and not willing to share any of that with anyone and I\u2019ve hurt people and I came here for pretty much ALL the wrong reasons and I dumped all my craziness on you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay,\u201d Angel said. \u201cYou wanted a break.\u201d<\/p>\n

Buffy shook her head. \u201cNo you can say it. I was running away. Spike, he was the only one making me feel, and what I was feeling\u2026well, I was\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou were scared.\u201d<\/p>\n

Buffy hesitated before nodding. God I hate admitting that. <\/i>\u201cYes. I was scared of how I felt for him. The fact that I could feel that way about someone like him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey,\u201d Angel said, laying a hand on her upper arm. \u201cI think you and I both know, better than pretty much everyone, that you can\u2019t choose who you love.\u201d<\/p>\n

Buffy laughed. She couldn\u2019t believe how much lighter she felt. \u201cOh I think Xander and Cordy know all about that one too.\u201d She took a deep breath. \u201cGod, I can\u2019t believe I dragged everyone here just because I was having crushy feelings for Spike.\u201d<\/p>\n

Angel looked solemnly into her eyes. \u201cIn the words of a very wise person, love makes you do the wacky.\u201d They both burst out laughing.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat seems like so long ago,\u201d Buffy said when she had caught her breath.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was. You were so young\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you had that whole dark mysterious thing going,\u201d Buffy agreed. She gave him a sad smile. \u201cWhat we had, it\u2019s, I mean, it\u2019s over, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Angel turned her so they were looking directly at each other. \u201cIt will never be over. I\u2019ll always be there for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I won\u2019t be your girl, will I?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Angel said softly. \u201cBecause you\u2019re not that girl anymore. You\u2019ve gotten older and wiser. Which is a good thing. You\u2019ve matured.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not the only one.\u201d<\/p>\n

Angel grinned, almost embarrassed. \u201cYeah, I like to think after 250 years I\u2019m finally growing as a person.\u201d<\/p>\n

Buffy suddenly stood up. She reached for his hand and pulled him off the couch as well.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll always love you too you know. And I\u2019ll always be there for you. That\u2019s why\u2026.\u201d This wasn\u2019t going to be fun. But it had to be done. \u201cI took this,\u201d she told him, pulling the picture she had stolen out of her pocket and handing it to him. \u201cYes, I\u2019m little Miss Snoopy Pants. I\u2019m sorry. I don\u2019t know why I took it. I guess, something I saw in that picture, it scared me.\u201d She watched as Angel traced a finger over the smiles on the paper. \u201cScared the hell out of me,\u201d she murmured.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d Angel asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was a picture of something I didn\u2019t want to believe existed. Look at how you\u2019re looking at her and how she\u2019s looking back at you. It\u2019s a picture of a family, Angel.\u201d<\/p>\n

Angel sighed and put the picture down. \u201cBuffy, Cordy and I, we\u2019re not\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSave it,\u201d the Slayer said. \u201cI\u2019m not foolish enough to believe you didn\u2019t hear her today, when she said that she was in love with you. Oh wait, I believe her exact words were \u2018totally head over heels in love.\u2019 And I\u2019m not blind enough to miss how you look at her. When she laughs. When she\u2019s hurt. When she\u2019s holding your son. You love her. You are in love with her.\u201d<\/p>\n

Angel didn\u2019t bother saying she was wrong. \u201cIt\u2019s not that simple.\u201d<\/p>\n

She laughed harshly. \u201cYes, actually, it is. Cordy was right\u2014and oh sweet lord it is still hurting to say that. But she was right when she said that love doesn\u2019t have to be tragic and painful. Sometimes it can be very simple.\u201d She rose up and kissed her first love on the cheek. \u201cGo to her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat, what would I say?\u201d Angel asked, apparently unaware how weird it was to be asking Buffy\u2019s advice on this particular dilemma.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s pretty simple too. You say \u2018Cordelia, like it or not, this is how I feel. I want to be with you. In spite of all the obstacles, hell, BECAUSE of all the obstacles, I want to be with you\u2019. That should do it.\u201d It still hurt to say it. Even admitting her feelings for Spike wouldn\u2019t change that. A small part of her would always mourn the loss of Angel\u2026to Cordelia.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve become a very smart woman Buffy Summers,\u201d Angel said. He brushed a finger down her cheek and walked toward the door. He opened it, but then he turned back around. \u201cAnd you know, the thing about smart women Buf, is that they know when to take some of their own advice. Go find him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Buffy waved and Angel closed the door behind him. She stood there for a minute, debating. Then she headed for the door to the basement.<\/p>\n

Part 23<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Part 22: Face the Music Buffy felt like she was waking up from a dream. Not a normal dream prophesizing apocalypses or about…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4020","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-completed-fics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4020","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4020"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4020\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4020"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4020"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4020"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}