{"id":3819,"date":"2015-07-05T17:16:10","date_gmt":"2015-07-05T16:16:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/?p=3819"},"modified":"2015-07-05T17:16:24","modified_gmt":"2015-07-05T16:16:24","slug":"hero","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/2015\/07\/05\/hero\/","title":{"rendered":"Hero."},"content":{"rendered":"

Title: Hero<\/b>
\nAuthor: <\/b>Gabriella
\nPosted: <\/b>
\nEmail<\/b><\/a>
\nRating: <\/b>PG [Gasp! I know!]
\nCategory: <\/b>
\nContent: <\/b>C\/A friendship.
\nSummary: <\/b>In the dark, where he felt most comfortable, and with the one person in the world he felt most comfortable with.
\nSpoilers: <\/b>Early S2, pre-Darla madness.
\nDisclaimer: <\/b>The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
\nDistribution: <\/b>Just Fic. Anyone else, just ask.
\nNotes: <\/b>This is just a short fic I wrote cos I couldn’t get a few lines out of my head. Wrote it in less than an hour and am posting it pretty impulsively.
\nThanks\/Dedication:<\/b>To DamnSkippy<\/b> for the beta.
\nFeedback:<\/b><\/p>\n

\n

The dark was peaceful, silent and full of a thousand deadly secrets, all weightlessly floating on the wind as though they meant nothing. Frightening, noiseless, still \u2013 the habitat of a creature of myth, a deadly predator – a pensive man. He had been a feral beast, a killer born to the darkness, cursed with a soul, with a past that still haunted him.<\/p>\n

But here, alone, in the dark, he felt comfortable.<\/p>\n

Darkness was something Angel had always enjoyed, he still enjoyed, on the rare occasions that he had to himself. Cordelia, Wesley and now even Gunn made it increasingly difficult to find a moment of solitary, and he treasured it when it finally came along.<\/p>\n

Their latest case had been gruelling \u2013 and unsuccessful. Research had proved useless, the battle had nearly cost Wesley his left arm, and the demon that they\u2019d been chasing for weeks was still out there, terrorizing the helpless and taking lives.<\/p>\n

Wesley and Gunn had gone home, bruised, battered and defeated. Cordelia hadn\u2019t been able to sleep, the painful aftermath of her unsolved vision had been too much \u2013<\/p>\n

Angel\u2019s fists clenched in anger, memories of Vocah pounding though his skull. She was too young for this, too brave for her own good. He remembered how she\u2019d shone, brilliantly, when he\u2019d first hired her. His very own ray of light in a world of too much black.<\/p>\n

Now she dimly glowed in the darkness that he\u2019d pulled her into, deeper and deeper as the flame was slowly extinguished. She was strong, and stubborn as hell \u2013 but this was hurting her.<\/p>\n

And he couldn\u2019t do a damn thing to stop it.<\/p>\n

The Powers That Be had certainly wanted him to suffer. They seemed to damage or destroy everything he held dear. For a moment, Doyle flew through his mind. Pain flashed behind his eyes and he closed them, releasing a breath. Where one door closes, another opens.<\/p>\n

Angel gritted his teeth. He wasn\u2019t going to let that happen to Cordelia.<\/p>\n

His eyes snapped open. Something moved in the darkness, barely, but he caught it. His hand reached out, curling around the handle of the sword that lay flat on the table beside him. A sound caught up with him before his sight did and Angel\u2019s grip on the weapon loosened.<\/p>\n

A heartbeat, pounding desperately in the dark. Cordelia. He\u2019d suggested she sleep at the hotel earlier that night \u2013 she\u2019d looked exhausted and she hadn\u2019t been able to sleep at home.<\/p>\n

He saw her, standing at the bottom of the stairs, in a big white shirt with rolled up sleeves and a pair of grey sweats. Her long, dark hair was messed up, as though she\u2019d been sleeping on it, and her eyes scanned the darkness nervously, her hand gripping the banister.<\/p>\n

\u201cCordelia.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGeez!\u201d She jumped, her hand slapping over her chest as she looked around frantically, the fear in her eyes replaced by annoyance. \u201cWe are SO getting you a bell.\u201d<\/p>\n

Angel turned, switching on a dim light on the table beside him. A dull glow was emitted from the bulb and Cordelia finally looked his way, her hands on her hips.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, I get the whole nocturnal vampire thing, I do. And I don\u2019t judge you.\u201d Cordy walked over to him, stopping a few feet away. \u201cBut do you have to think so damn loud?\u201d<\/p>\n

Angel stared at her blankly. \u201cYou couldn\u2019t sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo shit, Sherlock. And no thanks to you!\u201d She flicked her hair over her shoulder. \u201cYou know, for a P.I? You\u2019re not too stealth.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am too – \u201dAngel cleared his throat, stopping himself. \u201cI wasn\u2019t\u2026thinking loudly.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou were brooding!\u201d Cordy snapped, rubbing her head tiredly. Angel frowned, more at the gesture than the snip. \u201cDon\u2019t you get it? Champion? Seer? We\u2019re linked. I have a built \u2013 in brood radar. It picks up an overhanging brow from miles away.\u201d<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t know which emotion was stronger, irritation or amusement. The light beside him flickered, as though experiencing the latter.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo?\u201d Cordy tapped her feet.<\/p>\n

Angel frowned. \u201cSo what?\u201d<\/p>\n

She sighed heavily. \u201cSo, what\u2019s wrong? You woke me up and clearly you\u2019re in the middle of another brood fest.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s noth – \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd DON\u2019T say it\u2019s nothing because I know you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Angel sighed unnecessarily. He really wasn\u2019t in the mood to share. \u201cIt\u2019s nothing. Really, it\u2019s a waste of ti – \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd DON\u2019T say it\u2019s a waste of time, Angel. That is the highest level of lame when it comes from a vampire who has like, eternity<\/i> ahead of him.\u201d Cordy raised an eyebrow at him. \u201cI\u2019m sure you can afford to waste a little time.\u201d<\/p>\n

Angel\u2019s expression remained blank, though it was difficult to restrain the smile that was pulling at his lips. It was a contest of will power as he stared at Cordelia, hoping she would back down. But the battle was lost before it even began, and he knew it would be. He\u2019d never had a chance. She had that look in her eye, the one that made him think she knew him better than anyone alive. The one that made him trust her implicitly.<\/p>\n

The one that made him want to tell her all the darkest secrets of his silent heart.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t stop thinking.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cordy crossed her arms, looking confused. \u201cAbout what?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAbout everything. My past, my present, my future.\u201d Angel leaned his head back against the chair. \u201cIt all just seems so pointless.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, Charles Dickens.\u201d Cordy narrowed her eyes. \u201cAren\u2019t we Mr the-glass-is-half-empty?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCordelia.\u201d<\/p>\n

She sighed, shifting on her feet. \u201cWhy does it seem pointless, Angel?\u201d<\/p>\n

He paused, glancing at her. \u201cIt doesn\u2019t make a difference. I can\u2019t make up for my past, for all the terrible things I did. It doesn\u2019t matter how many lives I save. There are too many I don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cordelia contemplated him seriously for a moment. The light beside him flickered. \u201cYou really think that what we<\/i> do doesn\u2019t make a difference?\u201d<\/p>\n

Angel looked up. \u201cCordy, you don\u2019t have anything to atone for.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes I do.\u201d She corrected him. \u201cThere are a lot of things I\u2019ve done that I\u2019m not proud of. My past may not be as bad as yours but there are so many things I would\u2019ve changed that I can\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is my mission.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd you\u2019d be sitting flat on your ass if it weren\u2019t for my visions.\u201d Cordy raised a deadly eyebrow. \u201cDon\u2019t make this all about you, Angel. It isn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

Angel\u2019s mouth snapped shut.<\/p>\n

Cordy continued, oblivious. \u201cAll of us have something to atone for, however big or small. What we do *does* mean something, not just to us but to all the souls we *do* save.\u201d She lifted her chin, daring for him to contradict her. \u201cLife is about the now. If you waste your time living in the past, then you\u2019re right \u2013 you won\u2019t have a future.\u201d<\/p>\n

The light flickered again, once, twice, before the old bulb expired, fizzling out and plunging them into darkness.<\/p>\n

\u201cAngel?\u201d Cordelia\u2019s voice sounded suddenly uneasy.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome here.\u201d Angel said, reaching out his hand in the dark and taking hers, pulling her towards him. She sat down beside his feet, curling her legs underneath her and leaning her arm across his legs. She balanced her chin on his knee, looking up at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know you\u2019ve spent the better part of your life in the era of oil lamps and candles but seriously? A little decent electricity wouldn\u2019t hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n

Unwittingly, Angel grinned. \u201cI like the dark. It\u2019s soothing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight. The ideal environment in which to brood.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wasn\u2019t – \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, you were.\u201d Cordy interrupted him. \u201cSo before this becomes a nightly ritual, let me say this \u2013 you\u2019re the best man I know.\u201d Once again, his mouth snapped shut, though this time he felt strangely warm. \u201cAnd you *do* make a difference. We all do, in whatever way we can. It\u2019s what allows us to sleep a little easier at night.\u201d<\/p>\n

Angel\u2019s eyebrows shot up. \u201cNeither of us is sleeping.\u201d<\/p>\n

She ignored him completely. \u201cYou just have to try the best you can.\u201d He felt her fingers rubbing soothingly into his knee and a strange jolt shook his stomach. \u201cAnd you do, Angel.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was a brief silence as Angel contemplated her words, considered whether or not to tell her what was really on his mind. He could see her eyes in the dark, soft and a brilliant hazel. As always, one look at them and she won out.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t even save those I really care about.\u201d He covered her hand with his, pausing until she shifted uncomfortably. \u201cLet alone everyone else.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cordy cleared her throat, closing her eyes and removing her hand from under his. \u201cYou may not be able to save everyone, Angel. The Powers don\u2019t expect that of you. But you have to keep fighting.\u201d When she looked up, her voice remained gentle but her eyes were harder, hiding whatever secrets she held deep in her soul behind them, somewhere he couldn\u2019t reach. \u201cAnd I know you well enough to know you will come through. You\u2019ve changed people\u2019s lives.\u201d<\/p>\n

Angel felt a frown slide over his lips. \u201cI haven\u2019t changed anyone\u2019s life.\u201d<\/p>\n

Immediately, her eyes softened. \u201cYou changed mine.\u201d<\/p>\n

Three simple words stunned him into silence. In his opinion, the statement suited them better the other way around. Thanks to Cordelia in his life he did so many things he\u2019d never done in the company of a human being before \u2013 drink blood in public, chat for hours, smile\u2026<\/p>\n

The hardness was gone and she stared at him now, trusting and vulnerable. His voice came out slightly lower than he\u2019d expected. \u201cI did?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you know who I was before I met you?\u201d Cordelia asked earnestly. \u201cBefore I came to LA, I was a spoiled little rich girl from Sunnydale who had nothing more than a sharp tongue and a closet of fabulous outfits to get her through the darkest evils of the world.\u201d<\/p>\n

Angel felt a pang of sadness deep in his chest. She\u2019d lost everything and she deserved so much more\u2026 He couldn\u2019t sop himself from asking. \u201cBut?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I found a way to make a difference.\u201d Cordy said softly, finding his hand in the darkness and intertwining their fingers. Her palm felt wonderful and warm against his, and the gesture touched him deeply. \u201cI found you.\u201d<\/p>\n

His heart fluttered a little and it was a wonderful feeling he recognised as happiness.<\/p>\n

Cordelia squeezed his hand. \u201cWe take what we get, Angel. And we do our best with it. You have to keep fighting because people need you. *I* need you. Without you, I would\u2019ve been just another sacrifice to Russell Winters. Wesley would\u2019ve been just another fumbling amateur who got killed along the way by some demon he couldn\u2019t handle.\u201d<\/p>\n

Angel nodded, understanding beginning to dawn.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou *did* save us.\u201d Cordy said. \u201cYou always do. And you need to know that, despite the losses and failures and the pain that comes with it all?\u201d She smiled knowingly and Angel realised she was referring to her role in their mission, as much as his. \u201cIn the end, it\u2019s worth it. It will *always* be worth it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Silence settled between them and Angel revelled in the comfortable moment \u2013 in the dark, where he felt most comfortable, and with the one person in the world he felt most comfortable with. His thumb stroked the curve of her palm and he saw her smile, that special, beautiful smile as her eyes closed sleepily.<\/p>\n

\u201cTired?\u201d He asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d Cordy stifled a yawn, glancing up at him. \u201cSorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t be.\u201d Angel said, getting to his feet and pulling her with him. They took a few steps forward and Angel sought out the light switch he knew rested against the wall, switching it on. Bright light flooded the lobby suddenly and they both squinted, blinking furiously as their eyes adjusted to it.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m gonna head up.\u201d Cordy said, squeezing his hand one last time and grabbing hold of the banister. Her lips quirked up. \u201cYou gonna stay here and brood?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d Angel said honestly. \u201cI think I can sleep a little easier now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood. I don\u2019t like seeing you suffer more than you have to.\u201d<\/p>\n

Angel smiled, turning to retrieve his sword from the small side table.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd hey,\u201d She paused at the bottom of the stares, looking him right in the eye as he spun around, that beautiful smile blooming across her face again. \u201cFor the record? You\u2019re my hero, you know that right?\u201d<\/p>\n

Something tender warmed Angel’s heart and stayed there even as he nodded and Cordy retreated up the stairs. He stared, watching her go until he could no longer see her, the tiniest of smiles curling his lips.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re mine too.\u201d<\/p>\n

End<\/b><\/p>\n

Gabriella<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n

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