CHAPTER 10<\/b><\/p>\n
Vision.<\/p>\n
Blood baths.<\/p>\n
Divine intervention.<\/p>\n
Lions and tigers and bears: Oh my!<\/i> Cordelia mentally chided herself. She could have been great. She could have been grand. She could have been \u2013 an actress.<\/p>\n
With a sigh she glared at the lump on HER couch. Instead of being one with stardom she was sitting in a dark house in the middle of a perfectly good sunny day staring at the back of a dead man while everyone tried to figure out why the powers that be had picked her.<\/p>\n
Her! As if she was the best candidate they could have found. Well that was just fine with her. If they could find a replacement, she\u2019d be up and gone to LA and Buffy the Whiner slayer could do her little good deed and help the damned helpless. Cordelia Chase was SO not with the super hero gig.<\/p>\n
\u201cStaring me into nothingness isn\u2019t going to make it go away.\u201d<\/p>\n
Leaning her head against the wall where she\u2019d been sitting in the corner since Giles had left, the blood still staining her shirt; Cordelia closed her eyes. \u201cWhat is?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNothing is.\u201d<\/p>\n
She glared back at him, now taking in the full expanse of his chest and face as he lay there on his side, one arm propped up under his head, watching her with a superior glint in his eyes.<\/p>\n
It was as if he knew everything she had trouble grasping. \u201cYou\u2019re taking this well.\u201d<\/p>\n
He shrugged noncommittally. \u201cForever is for me not you. You\u2019re just the seer.\u201d<\/p>\n
She frowned at the off-handed way he said seer. \u201cJUST the seer?\u201d<\/p>\n
His lazy mouth drifted up in a sneer. \u201cYeah. There\u2019s going to be a new one every five decades or so. From what I know of soul pacts, the life span of champion\u2019s sidekicks isn\u2019t more than four or five years anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia knew he was trying to get a rise out of her, because all night she\u2019d sat there refusing to talk to anyone. She\u2019d just glared accusingly at him.<\/p>\n
She knew he was baiting for a reaction, but she couldn\u2019t help the bitterness in her voice. \u201cYou make it sound like I was hoping for empathy from a heartless killer.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI am heartless. I don\u2019t feel. Not like you do anyway. If I don’t get my way, I take it. No game. No rules. So you know who\u2019s still going to be here when this is over.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo the world’s just one big playground for you…\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFuck yeah.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat am I supposed to be? Your toy?\u201d<\/p>\n
For a moment he didn\u2019t say anything. Then he lay back down on his back, eyes fixed up on the ceiling before he spoke. \u201cNo Chase, you’re the soul I never had.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia\u2019s anger morphed into abject shock and an odd knot wound itself into her chest.<\/p>\n
Glaring at the confusing myriad of emotional connotations to his admission, she glared down between her bent knees, arms propped up on them as she tried to make sense of what her head was trying to tell her, but she was tired.<\/p>\n
Tired and lost and lonely. Even the company of the demon was starting to look good.<\/p>\n
Just then the door slid open just enough for Giles to squeeze through and he blinked in the darkness of the living room, the stream of light arching through the room, sliding over the partially hidden brunette.<\/p>\n
He scanned the room for the vampire, only to find him prone and reclining on the couch, eyes closed in sleep. With a sigh he closed the door and walked to the little lamp on his desk and turned it on.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou didn\u2019t sleep?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia didn\u2019t look up, merely went on examining the wooden flooring where she sat. Counting the swirls in the teak. Crazily, thinking of the cracks Angelus had been counting.<\/p>\n
Then she closed her eyes. Relating to the demon was one thing, become it was something entirely different. \u201cNot tired.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow could you not be? You\u2019ve had a rough night Cordelia. Go to bed, I\u2019ll watch him.\u201d<\/p>\n
The young woman snorted. \u201cAre you freaking kidding me Librarian man? You think I\u2019m here because I\u2019m afraid he\u2019d run away. I WISH he\u2019d run away. You know for once it would give me an excuse to give all of this \u2013 up. Whatever THIS is.\u201d<\/p>\n
Then she blinked at him. \u201cYou were gone all night. Did you find a way to cure it?\u201d<\/p>\n
Giles dropped into his desk chair and looked at the bundled young woman in the corner between his books. \u201cIt\u2019s not a disease Cordelia.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMight as well be, and just when things were starting to get better. I finally have a game in two days. How would I look all seer-ed out.\u201d She looked up at the ceiling. \u201cI hope you\u2019re laughing you good for nothing-\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia!\u201d<\/p>\n
She threw up her hands and crossed them stubbornly over her chest, her face set in a grumpy line.<\/p>\n
Only Giles would think of divine insensibilities right now.<\/i> \u201cWhat did you find out?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWillow did a little research.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGood old witch.\u201d Cordelia snorted then lifted her eyes to meet the watchers. \u201cBy research you mean magic.\u201d It wasn\u2019t a question.<\/p>\n
\u201cReal big on the ethics of it all aren\u2019t we Giles?\u201d Then she sighed. \u201cBut then I\u2019m sidekick to the Scourge of Europe. Like I can complain. So what did little miss magic have to say?\u201d<\/p>\n
Giles chose to chalk up her biting lip to the still open wound of losing the man she loved and being tied to one that would never love her. He knew she blamed the world, but most of all she blamed herself. She was just a girl.<\/p>\n
He couldn\u2019t help see the little girl in her while she sat there trying to appear as hard as stone and as dark as the night where she\u2019d sat clutching the little dead child, crying like she\u2019d given her birth.<\/p>\n
\u201cNothing much different from what he said I\u2019m afraid. He\u2019s been chosen as the Champion, although, I cannot for the life of me understand why they\u2019d pick him. He is hardly eligible.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBack to me. Why me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause you showed something towards their champion no one has ever shown before.\u201d<\/p>\n
She looked up into his old eyes etched with boding irony. \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou showed loyalty and perseverance. You sealed the deal with the devil Cordelia. You; not him. You didn\u2019t let him die.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia thought she saw Angelus\u2019 head snap sideways for an instant to stare at her, but she\u2019d been too busy watching the trepidation dawning in the watcher\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo this is my fault.\u201d A weak laugh tore from her throat. \u201cGreat.\u201d Eyes prickling with helpless tears.<\/p>\n
Then she felt warm hands close around her shoulders as Giles squatted down in front of her. She lifted her head to tell him off and make some snide comment, but at the sincere concern in his eyes she paused and let him speak.<\/p>\n
\u201cNone of this is your fault Cordelia. Everything happens for a reason. True, I never would have picked Angelus as purpose for you, but his being here is reason enough for me. I will not lie when I tell you that I wanted you to stay. Stay where there are people who know you. I wanted you to be more than just a bitter little child trying to salvage her pride and thinking life owed her something. It is you Cordelia that owes life now. Life has given you what you asked for. A chance to gloat.\u201d<\/p>\n
His mouth drifted up into a sad little line. \u201cYou\u2019re the one they chose. Not my slayer. Not my witch. And not the man who unwittingly broke your heart.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI told you not to get attached.\u201d She wagged a finger at him and stood, the weight of his words weighing her down, keeping her steadily on her feet. \u201cI told you I was likable.\u201d<\/p>\n
Then for the first time Cordelia Chase looked at the watcher with an expression that made him want to pull the girl into his arms and squeeze away her pain. \u201cI\u2019m scared.\u201d<\/p>\n
Awkwardly, he patted her shoulder. \u201cThat\u2019s good.\u201d At her confused frown he smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s a sign that you\u2019re still alive.\u201d<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Giles watched the young woman trudge upstairs to his room. He\u2019d offered her the bed just this one night after cajoling and exhausted as she was, plus bribed with the prospect of soaking in his bathtub for an hour, she finally left to retire.<\/p>\n
Running a weary hand through his hair, Rupert Giles looked at the still demon on his couch. The vampire on a leash.<\/p>\n
\u201cGreat lecture.\u201d<\/p>\n
The watcher\u2019s gaze narrowed into angry slits. \u201cWould you rather I\u2019d have told her like it is? That you of all things are the other half of her soul?\u201d<\/p>\n
The vampire swung his legs down, elbows bracing on his set apart knees as he grinned at the old man malevolently, eyes gleaming yellow in the darkness of the heavy curtains.<\/p>\n
\u201cWon\u2019t the slayer just piss herself when she finds out ultimate happiness isn\u2019t what killed ol\u2019 soulful.\u201d<\/p>\n
Giles could only hope the slayer took it as calmly as Cordelia had.<\/p>\n