{"id":3410,"date":"2015-07-02T21:56:18","date_gmt":"2015-07-02T20:56:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/?p=3410"},"modified":"2015-10-08T12:25:22","modified_gmt":"2015-10-08T11:25:22","slug":"of-demony-things-crappy-lifetimes-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/2015\/07\/02\/of-demony-things-crappy-lifetimes-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Of Demony Things & Crappy Lifetimes. 1"},"content":{"rendered":"

Title: Of Demony Things and Crappy Lifetimes<\/b>
\nAuthor: <\/b>Frazi<\/strong>
\nPosted: <\/b>REWORK! 20 Feb 2006
\nEmail<\/a>
\nRating: <\/b>R
\nCategory: <\/b>AU, Humor
\nContent: <\/b>Aus\/C
\nSummary: <\/b>Just a what if Angelus had been chipped instead of Spike and Cordy found him What can I say? Was bored.
\nSpoilers: <\/b>Hmmm….can’t think of any…. (BtVS 3)
\nDisclaimer: <\/b>The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
\nDistribution: <\/b>By all means just tell me where? Stranger Things\/GT is a given.
\nAuthor’s Squawk:<\/b> This was originally a stand alone I think a year or so ago. I don’t know what happened. It ran away with me. Now its like 112 pages and I’m posting it as a serial. I’ve been gone long. I know. Please don’t hate me. But at least I’m back with a bang….er… I hope. Heheh. Missed you guys. Fer real!
\nThanks\/Dedication:<\/b>
\nFeedback:<\/b>Like breathing air.<\/p>\n

\n

CHAPTER 1<\/b><\/p>\n

\u201cOh this is just great. Perfect.\u201d The brunette trudged through the wet puddles of the sidewalk; her black dress stained and drenched, her suede heels ruined as she stumbled into another rain-induced puddle.<\/p>\n

In the wee hours of the morning, Cordelia Chase squinted up at the flickering sign of the Bronze. Two hours before dawn- before reality would take shape and she would have to admit that she was no longer a Chase; but a homeless, penniless, gutless piece of crap.<\/p>\n

And still she hadn\u2019t been able to look at the wretched Cordettes\u2019 in the face and tell them that she had no home to go back to, no money to call the cab and no guts to tell them to their face that she didn\u2019t want to leave the sanctity of the Bronze.<\/p>\n

But she didn\u2019t say that.<\/p>\n

And so now here she was with her coat and purse clutched in one hand and the edge of her dress in another as she began her first almost morning of being worth shit. \u201cWhere\u2019s a vampire when you need one?\u201d<\/p>\n

Walking to car, she threw her bag and coat into the backseat before dropping into the driver\u2019s seat. And then she caught the dial of her fuel gauge. \u201cARGH!\u201d Smacking sting of her palms on the steering wheel didn\u2019t hurt as much as the realization that fifteen minutes later when the party inside would breakup, she\u2019d still be sitting here. And her lovely spineless exit from her so-called friends would be worth very little.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay Chase.\u201d She took a deep breath, her hands gripping the wheel for strength. \u201cBreathe, step out and let\u2019s walk.\u201d Picking up her coat she left her empty purse in the backseat and kicked the door of her car shut. It along with everything she owned was going to be repossessed anyway. Where could she have driven it?<\/p>\n

Hating the way her heels were soaked and dreading the long walk to a house that wasn\u2019t going to be there in the morning, she shrugged into her coat and proceeded to map the sidewalk for the first time in her life. \u201cCould this suck any more?\u201d<\/p>\n

And that was when she heard the crash and a strangled cry of pain.<\/p>\n

Freezing in her tracks, her arms wrapped tightly around her, she dug into her pocket for the water pistol that Willow had handed her as a joke. She hoped the fact that it was filled with holy water wasn\u2019t a joke as she stared into the dark alley.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay whatever you are, I\u2019m armed and dangerous.\u201d There was a guttural groan before she made out the silhouette of a man struggling against the trashcan almost as if his legs didn\u2019t hold him up.<\/p>\n

Maybe it was just another homeless person who\u2019d lost their parents and fortune all in one night: another riches to rags story. Then she winced when the grip he had on the trashcan slipped and he landed in a very large puddle with a splash and a snarl of pain that sent shivers down her back.<\/p>\n

Even as she was taking the first step towards the sprawled form she was wondering about the sanity of her decision. She blamed the Scoobies for this stupid need to suddenly help if she could and her bravado on the fact that she had very little left to lose.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey are you okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo I look okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

The rich timbre of his voice was laced with pain and as he shifted in the slight glow from the streetlamp across the road, she couldn\u2019t see his face as she stood there a few feet away from him.<\/p>\n

In the slash of light she could see black pants soaked with muddy rainwater and blood, and hands slashed and purple as they clutched a very nasty gash across a chest that barely held the old black shirt that might have, at one point, been very expensive silk.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou look like shit.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTactless candor suits you brighteyes.\u201d The retort would have been effective had it not been punctuated with the hiss of pain.<\/p>\n

Her grip tightened on her little water pistol when she noticed two things. His chest didn\u2019t rise and fall with his moans of pain only when he shifted and the black pants she\u2019d noticed were leather.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat stroke of unbelievable luck. Of all the things to run into at this time of the night! A wounded vampire who\u2019s probably also hungry. If it\u2019s all the same to you, I\u2019ll be going now. Hope you make it.\u201d She turned to walk out of the alley.<\/p>\n

\u201cChase, the least you can do is open the fucking manhole and give a vampire a fighting chance.\u201d Her heels skidded to a stop when she finally realized why the husk of his voice was so familiar and why he knew her name.<\/p>\n

Turning very slowly while she took a step back, she met amber eyes of one Angelus the Scourge of Europe; and Buffy\u2019s latest dilemma. When she caught the distinct sparkle of fangs her jaw hardened.<\/p>\n

\u201cAwww, looks like the slayer got you good this time. What did you drag yourself here for? To let her lick your wounds?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure Chase. Kick a demon when he\u2019s down.\u201d She crossed her arms; slightly content in the sluggish movement of his muscles and the apparent beating he\u2019d received.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t play the damsel in distress very well, Angelus. A little more on the pleading side might help.\u201d The soft growl was tinged with a waver of a painful swallow.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have a reputation, little girl.\u201d She shrugged.<\/p>\n

\u201cFitting end I\u2019d think. Scourge of Europe gets his tushi kicked by a girl slayer he happens to dote on and greets the sun.\u201d She whirled around to leave.<\/p>\n

\u201cCordelia.\u201d The desperate edge to her name made her pause.<\/p>\n

What the hell was she thinking? She couldn\u2019t actually be considering helping him. He was a vampire. An eater of people. A soulless demon with sex and pain on the brain. So then why the hell was she still standing there with her back to the bruised and broken vampire and not just walking home like she should have?<\/p>\n

With her foot tapping on the wet pavement she grit her teeth. Damn the Scooby idiots! She whirled around and glared at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat? Do you really expect me to help you? YOU the pillager of innocents and mauler of women?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJesus-fucking-Christ Chase, do I look like I can do either right now?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you look like you should die. Between you killing me and you burning in hell; which ever shall I chose? Happy incineration, Angelus.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll give you my word!\u201d She snorted a dry laugh catching in her throat.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh my god!\u201d She feigned shock. \u201cI so believe you now.\u201d She glared at him. \u201cThe most I can do right now is to march to the nearest phone booth and call the slayer to finish the job and put you out of your misery.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was a defeated sigh and she frowned at him for a second. Then he spoke. \u201cAre you going to open the manhole or not?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd that will save your pathetic life?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt will give me a chance to maybe try!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re evil. You should die.\u201d The vampire let out an exasperated breath.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh for\u2026I AM dying! If I was able to pillage or maul anything right now you\u2019d be calling me master!\u201d He winced when he shifted again against the wall of the alley.<\/p>\n

And again she thought. With a last cry of frustration, she pocketed her little water pistol and stalked towards the manhole some good ten feet away from the sprawled vampire and grabbed the latch with a grunt. \u201cI cannot believe I am doing this!\u201d<\/p>\n

There was a chuckle from the other side as she grunted and groaned before pulling it aside. Huffing with effort she hitched her fists on her waist and watched him struggling to his knees. She bit her lip as she saw his legs waver with weakness, his arms shaking with the effort to push himself to his feet.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow give me a minute to use my tongue to crawl towards it, because my limbs are fucking rubber.\u201d<\/p>\n

Closing her eyes she let out a deep breath. \u201cYou are so pathetic.\u201d Heels clicking purposefully she trudged up to the vampire with a death glare and grabbed his arm.<\/p>\n

His head swiveled to the side and he stared up at her, the muscles in his neck taut with strain and twitching with pain. And she saw his face for the first time.<\/p>\n

Cordelia\u2019s mouth dropped open with a gasp as she saw the heavy trail of blood from his temple to his jaw, the flesh around his temples burnt and opened with what looked like a jagged razor. This did not look like the work of the slayer.<\/p>\n

\u201cFuck.\u201d She couldn\u2019t hold the shocked profanity as Angelus struggled to keep his weight on his hands and knees, his head falling back to bow between his shoulders. \u201cWhat the hell happened to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

A muscle in his jaw worked as he stretched on hand up and grabbed the edge of the garbage can and instinctively she caught his shoulder and helped him get to his feet.<\/p>\n

Again his eyes snapped up to her with surprise and she looked at the bruises on his face and the blood drenching his shirt in wonder. This could so not be Buffy\u2019s work. She saw his muddied forehead crease with a frown.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened to letting me greet the sun?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know I didn\u2019t think anyone was worse off than me right now, but I concede to you. You look like shit.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlready said that.\u201d He growled at the blinding pain in his broken leg and the stretch of tendons on ribs he knew were cracked. He watched the girl\u2019s hazel eyes take inventory of his injuries and kept himself from leaning towards her lest he startle her and she leave him here in a heap.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo you planning on helping me reach the manhole tonight because I forgot my sun block.\u201d He could have sworn he saw the corner of her mouth lift slightly as she gingerly took firm hold of his upper arm.<\/p>\n

Unwittingly, she ducked her shoulders and his arm fell around her as he finally managed to put his weight on his good leg and stand for the first time that evening.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf I didn\u2019t have a death wish not five minutes ago, I\u2019d be scared witless, but nothing can faze me now. So tell me? This doesn\u2019t look like Bluffy the vampire layer\u2019s work.\u201d<\/p>\n

Instinctively Angelus\u2019 nostrils flared with the smell of human blood, but after his night, he decided not to test the theory again. She looked about as human as they came.<\/p>\n

\u201cI got ensnared.\u201d He growled as he hobbled with her weight fighting the urge to feed, knowing if he tried he\u2019d die sooner. \u201cA couple of commando wannabes got the jump on me. Two nights go.\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked up startled. \u201cYou got ensnared by an army? No wonder you look like death.\u201d<\/p>\n

He cried out softly nearly howling with the agonizing pain in his ribs when she shifted his weight and she stopped watching the flying colors of pain streak across his previously handsome face.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, let\u2019s just get it out in the open already. I\u2019ve had enough surprises this evening. Why aren\u2019t you trying to eat me?\u201d<\/p>\n

He met her eyes, squinting his left eye to clear the vision with his right almost sealed shut with swelling. \u201cSounded too much like a request on your part, Chase.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you ever try straight answers Scourgey?\u201d<\/p>\n

He sighed wincing when he couldn\u2019t prompt her to move further. The inquisitive glitter in her hazel eyes was insatiable and she was stubborn as hell; that much he knew from his run-ins with their little clan. \u201cI can\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause you love me?\u201d<\/p>\n

He couldn\u2019t hold the scowl and the tightening of his muscles as he glared down at her. \u201cI suck face with a slayer and now suddenly everything thinks I\u2019m fucking love\u2019s bitch.\u201d<\/p>\n

She didn\u2019t muffle a sardonic snicker as her lips twisted up into a half smile, half smirk. \u201cDuh.\u201d<\/p>\n

He glared down at her wishing he could rip out her tongue and made her eat it, but wishing did not make it so. So instead he shoved her away, causing her to stumble away and him to fall heavily against the alley wall, his leg trembling under the weight of his body as he gripped the brick behind him his game face slipping on in agonized frustration.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t bite you! I can\u2019t fucking bite anyone! The reason I look like death is because I\u2019ve been in the real life equivalent of hell on earth! The commando shits-for-brains put something in my head and now I can\u2019t fucking kill or maim anything! Okay!\u201d<\/p>\n

Both her eyebrows shot up at the screamed admission and she took a minute to let the news settle. \u201cHave you tried?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh for!\u201d He let out an infuriated snarl as he stared up at the lightening sky and cursed profusely.<\/p>\n

With a roll of her eyes, she sighed. \u201cI\u2019ll take that as a yes.\u201d Then she grabbed his arm again. \u201cCome on, you big baby. You\u2019re not the only vampire that\u2019s fangless. Remember Angel?\u201d<\/p>\n

He growled before leaning against her, unable to help himself from accepting this stupid little human\u2019s help because staying alive was a higher priority than his life right now.<\/p>\n

\u201cMe. He was still fucking me! The damned sun seems appealing right now.\u201d Cordelia marveled at her stupidity as she began the slow journey to the parking lot of the Bronze again, this time aiding one very deranged, hungry and wounded vampire sniffing her neck and she wondered what the hell she was thinking.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell I bet the Scooby gang would just love to hear about this and Buggy won\u2019t be happy if she finds out I let her boyfriend turn to dust. You\u2019re coming home with me until she comes to take you in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean stake me in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhatever rocks your socks, now shut up before I drop you here, you\u2019re not exactly light.\u201d<\/p>\n

Silence. Calculated steps. Then. \u201cI\u2019m not fat Chase.\u201d<\/p>\n

Part 2<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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