{"id":3375,"date":"2015-07-02T13:54:34","date_gmt":"2015-07-02T12:54:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/?p=3375"},"modified":"2017-08-04T20:15:46","modified_gmt":"2017-08-04T19:15:46","slug":"fallen-angels-9","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/2015\/07\/02\/fallen-angels-9\/","title":{"rendered":"Fallen Angels. 9"},"content":{"rendered":"

Part 9.\u00a0<\/b>ANGEL<\/em><\/p>\n

Kill him. I will absolutely kill the damned bastard! It was almost sunrise and I had not seen a sign of Cordelia.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d called Dennis at least sixty-five times according to the little group gathered in the lobby of my hotel. My insistent yelling had woken them up.<\/p>\n

Fred sat yawning on the couch, pushing up her glasses more firmly on her nose while she swayed with lethargy. Gunn sat next to her, his chin held up in the palm of his hand while Wesley stood leaning against the counter his arms crossed defensively and his eyes straying to the splayed out slayer on the other side of the lobby in a seat watching him with a cocky half smile on her face.<\/p>\n

I made a mental note to have a chat with Faith, but I had more important things on my mind for now. Like my disappearing childe and my gallivanting seer who insisted on going shopping in the middle of the damned night.<\/p>\n

\u201cI never should have let her go!\u201d<\/p>\n

~Spike will touch her.~<\/p>\n

\u201cWell it\u2019s a little late to be sayin\u2019 that no?\u201d Gunn looked up with a frustrated arch of his brow.<\/p>\n

Okay so they were sleep deprived, but my seer was out there with my psychotic childe! Sans previous memory of the cold blooded killer that he was!<\/p>\n

~Well he learnt from the best among other things.~<\/p>\n

Shut up Angelus!<\/i> I couldn\u2019t hold the helpless snarl of irritation.<\/p>\n

\u201cEase up dog!\u201d Gunn frowned at the perturbed vampire. Yeah I was perturbed and when I finally get my hands on that no good seer stealing childe of mine, I\u2019d show him perturbed!<\/p>\n

~He might touch her!~<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure Cordelia is fine Angel.\u201d Willow sighed as she sat on the front steps of the hotel wrapped up in her coat, still clad in the pajamas I\u2019d dragged her out into the night in.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlthough, I\u2019m wondering where they\u2019re shopping. But then this is a big metropolitan city. Must be some 24 hour shops somewhere.\u201d I stopped pacing just enough to quirk an eyebrow at her.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot like Sunnydale. Nope. What with the hellmouth and\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWillow?\u201d<\/p>\n

She blinked up at me in confusion? \u201cHmmm?\u201d<\/p>\n

~He will touch her!~<\/p>\n

\u201cThis isn\u2019t a good time,\u201d I grated out between clenched teeth. I\u2019d been pacing for the past two hours, my legs felt like they\u2019d run a marathon and Angelus\u2019 nya-nya-nya was starting to grate on my nerves.<\/p>\n

The taunting and jealous rage just wouldn\u2019t stay down. Permanent soul or no permanent soul, the demon would just never shut up until Spike was alone with her. I was starting to understand my curse in a whole new way.<\/p>\n

My eyes strayed to the front door as the itch in my thumb started turning the wheels in my head fast. I turned to look at the clock as it slowly crawled every minute by.<\/p>\n

~Go get her! Go get her now!~<\/p>\n

With a soft growl and the flick of my wrist I grabbed my coat from across the counter. \u201cFuck this.\u201d Fred looked up startled at the uncharacteristic curse and even Wesley blinked at me with all his attention for a change.<\/p>\n

My feet carried me to the door as I shoved my arms into the coat. Cordelia was coming home whether she wanted it or not. Soul Spike\u2019s companion or otherwise. I know I\u2019d promised myself not to push anything on her and let her take this time, to make this transition as natural as possible, but I\u2019m demon dammit!<\/p>\n

I can only take as much.<\/p>\n

Willow stood as I strode towards the door purposefully. \u201cAngel where are you going?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTo find her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019ll be here any minute Angel, Spike wouldn\u2019t hurt her.\u201d She stepped into my path with a hand held up to ward me off.<\/p>\n

~PUMMEL HER!~<\/p>\n

I resister the urge to bodily pick her up and put her aside, the effort almost making my fists clench tighter than usual. Why was everyone consistently trying to keep me away from her? If it wasn\u2019t W&H it was my own family!<\/p>\n

My very OWN!<\/p>\n

~There was no loyalty left in this world.~<\/p>\n

Angelus, I\u2019m going to find something to shut you up\u2026as soon as I find Cordy.<\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cLook Willow, I\u2019m not worried about Spike hurting her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen what is it Angel?\u201d I could hear the loaded depth in Fred\u2019s question over my shoulder. But that\u2019s all there was. Loaded depth. No one came out and spelled it.<\/p>\n

Seemed like I wasn\u2019t the only one who talked in riddles, as Cordelia so eloquently put it; I seemed to be rubbing off on all of them.<\/p>\n

~Oh joy.~<\/p>\n

She\u2019d been right. The damned tippy-toeing was annoying. \u201cFor my sanity Fred; I\u2019m bringing her home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAngel, the girl\u2019s lost a good chunk of her memory; do you really think it\u2019s necessary to crowd her?\u201d<\/p>\n

I spun around to meet the cobalt of Wesley\u2019s eyes. Oh he was one to talk about healing wounds and letting sleeping dogs lie. If I wasn\u2019t being the good souled vampire I\u2019d be spitting each and every taunt the demon spew in my brain.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been doing everything BUT crowding her Wesley because that\u2019s what you all wanted from me. Giving her space and giving her time to figure things out on her own. I agreed with you. That doesn\u2019t mean I can\u2019t change my mind.\u201d<\/p>\n

Charles stood and walked to me slowly. He could tell my demon was under the surface simmering with impatience. Yeah little boy, try my patience right now.<\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cLook man, Barbie just needs some down time. You know to sort things out.\u201d<\/p>\n

No I couldn\u2019t kill Gunn. I took a deep breath, which was more habit then necessity, holding my temper in check but unable to keep from leaning slightly into the personal space of the black man deliberately.<\/p>\n

Knowing Spike\u2019s track record, I knew the kind of sorting out that was his style, but I didn\u2019t tell that to him.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s been six weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo shit. And how far has she gotten considering it took almost all that time to convince her we weren\u2019t just tellin\u2019 her a tall tale of vampires and helpin\u2019 the helpless. You remember that?\u201d Gunn\u2019s cutting honestly wasn\u2019t the balm I needed for the irrational fury and impatient anxiety building in the middle of my chest.<\/p>\n

I needed Cordy to be here.<\/p>\n

But I knew they were right. Anyone in Cordy\u2019s situation would need a little space and a little time to adjust. How much I wished every time I opened my eyes from sleep that I\u2019d hear her laughing down the hall or rushing about from room to room, fixing up the hotel so it looked \u2018homier\u2019.<\/p>\n

But somewhere in my head the nagging doubt remained. Cordelia Chase wasn\u2019t just anyone. She was a much more complex woman than any of us gave her credit for.<\/p>\n

Although, each member of my odd family loved every hair on her head, the unreasonable ache in my chest spoke of dangers that couldn\u2019t be given more time to ponder, yet every night while I lay in my bed without the presence of my gurgling child to lull me to calmness, I couldn\u2019t help wonder about the what ifs.<\/p>\n

What if she\u2019d never been a higher being? What if she\u2019d met me that night? What if I hadn\u2019t let her go with Groo or what if one more happening hadn\u2019t tried to take her away from me?<\/p>\n

Unable to keep my eyes from straying to the still front door of the hotel, I realized. One thing I knew for sure. She was still here and so was I.<\/p>\n

That counted for something right?<\/i><\/p>\n

~Go get her. Find her. Hold her. Possess her.~<\/p>\n

There was reason behind every blinding urge to draw her inside me and keep her safe. Losing people I loved didn\u2019t exactly fortify insecurities. When I finally learnt not to push people away they starting slipping through my fingers instead.<\/p>\n

Why the hell does it always have to be about loss? I\u2019ve lived more than two and a half centuries, and it\u2019s still about loss. Loss of life, loss of humanity, loss of purpose, lose of first love, loss of child, family and the one woman who accepts the demon and soul all in the same package.<\/p>\n

And that was the problem. As much as I wanted to sit her in my lap and tell her everything that she was and is to me, I couldn\u2019t tell her. The acceptance that she\u2019d had for this old broody vampire wasn\u2019t something I could explain to her.<\/p>\n

She had to find it.<\/p>\n

And it tore into my un-beating heart each time she looked at me with confusion marring her beautiful face and the awareness that I was a monster.<\/p>\n

Something I\u2019d never been to Cordelia Chase.<\/p>\n

~Take her. Claim her. Possess her.~<\/p>\n

But that was just it. I didn\u2019t want to possess her no matter how much my demon whispered or screamed in my head. I wanted Cordelia Chase to walk up to me with her own to feet; like she would have if Skip hadn\u2019t held her back.<\/p>\n

See what I mean? It\u2019s the fucking what ifs that keep me awake at night.<\/p>\n

\u201cAngel?\u201d<\/p>\n

Dragging my eyes away from the front door that still didn\u2019t stir, I watched Willow bite her lip as she looked up at me with worried green eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe will remember.\u201d<\/p>\n

I swallowed the panicked doubt rising up my throat and let the tension in my shoulders ebb away with the reassurance that even through the hell we\u2019d been put through; we were still here.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou guys are fucking pathetic.\u201d Faith\u2019s crass observation warranted a dirty look from almost everyone in the lobby. Noticing the sudden ill humor she rolled her eyes and swung her legs off the arm of the chair and sat up straighter.<\/p>\n

Although, her address was to everyone, her dark rimmed eyes only stayed on me and I couldn\u2019t shake the feeling, the girl was only saying what I had already known. \u201cYou don\u2019t get it, do you? So she\u2019s lost her memory? That doesn\u2019t mean she\u2019s someone else?\u201d<\/p>\n

She shrugged her shoulders before slowly stretching up to stand. \u201cI don\u2019t know a lot about her, but frankly if you keep walking on eggshells around her, she won\u2019t remember jack shit.\u201d<\/p>\n

Fred\u2019s liquid brown eyes darted between Faith and me like a cautious deer. \u201cI\u2019m not an expert you know. But sometimes, the best way to bring things back to normal is to make them normal.\u201d<\/p>\n

Wesley\u2019s thumb stroked his chin thoughtfully. \u201cWe\u2019ve been trying to make her as comfortable as possible, telling her memories she has no recollection of will only confuse her further.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat if she doesn\u2019t remember?\u201d<\/p>\n

Each face that looked up at me only mirrored my own fear. It was a possibility that we hadn\u2019t considered before. It was always, \u2018no she\u2019ll be fine\u2019, \u2018everything will be ok\u2019, \u2018she will remember\u2019.<\/p>\n

It was the first time the weight of my own words actually surfaced everyone\u2019s similar trepidation.<\/p>\n

\u201cAngel, we\u2019ve been trying\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

I shook my head to stop Wesley\u2019s reassurance. \u201cNo. It\u2019s a possibility we have to keep in mind. I\u2019ve already lost my son thinking everything was going well. I\u2019m not going to lose Cordelia because we can\u2019t come to terms with her problem.\u201d I dug out the car keys from my coat pocket.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m through denying it. I\u2019m going to find her.\u201d Looking up I met the somber eyes of my family. \u201cWesley, try her cell again, see if she picks up. After that I want you guys to get some shut eye and then get back to work. We still have a job to do. The crisis is over. Time to pick up the pieces.\u201d<\/p>\n

I glanced at Willow. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you get some rest?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll come with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d I shook my head. \u201cYou call up Giles and see if there\u2019s a way to help Cordelia.\u201d She nodded and walked towards the counter. I watched Wesley walk up to me. He held out his hand, my old cell phone placed there.<\/p>\n

Without a word I took it from him and stuffed it into my pocket. \u201cYou don\u2019t mind if I take back my previous position of boss I suppose?\u201d<\/p>\n

I might have imagined it, but his mouth quirked at the corner. \u201cSince you\u2019re beginning to act it Angel, it\u2019s only fair.\u201d<\/p>\n

I nodded and turned.<\/p>\n

\u201cUmm\u2026Angel?\u201d<\/p>\n

With an exasperated sigh I looked back at the watcher to see the amusement in his blue eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cMight I suggest the sewers though? Suggesting only of course, not being the boss and all, but the sun did come up a few minutes ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

I scowled and stalked towards the basement. Behind me I heard Fred\u2019s muffled giggle before I entered the sewer.<\/p>\n

One step at a time.<\/i><\/p>\n

Part 10<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Part 9.\u00a0ANGEL Kill him. I will absolutely kill the damned bastard! It was almost sunrise and I had not seen a sign of…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3375","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-completed-fics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3375","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3375"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3375\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3375"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3375"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3375"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}