{"id":3372,"date":"2015-07-02T13:45:59","date_gmt":"2015-07-02T12:45:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/?p=3372"},"modified":"2017-08-04T20:04:39","modified_gmt":"2017-08-04T19:04:39","slug":"fallen-angels-8","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/2015\/07\/02\/fallen-angels-8\/","title":{"rendered":"Fallen Angels. 8"},"content":{"rendered":"

Part 8.\u00a0<\/strong>CORDELIA<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cVix!\u201d<\/p>\n

Damn Angel. Damn Angel and his inability to express himself. It\u2019s not every day I wake up in a world where I don\u2019t know if the socks I\u2019m wearing are mine or even if the crick in my shoulder\u2019s been there since I was a child or something that came recently.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s damned frustrating and I deserve an award for keeping it together and not losing it there and then in front of the dork vampire, but you know the really disgusting thing?<\/p>\n

I\u2019m pretending to be strong not because I need it to get through my day, but because something inside me can\u2019t let him see me this way. And he can\u2019t even take the time to hold me in his arms and tell me I belong to someone.<\/p>\n

Right now, right here, without any clue as to where I came from or where I\u2019m going I need the inarticulate one to find his damned tongue for a change. You know, the lost only need to be found.<\/p>\n

I just wish Angel would find me already.<\/p>\n

\u201cCordelia!\u201d The blond vampire caught my wrist and spun me around to look him in the frigid depths of his soulful eyes. Yup. Icy soul and all.<\/p>\n

He\u2019d been running down the block after me and while I panted with each spiralling thought that veered out of my control, he just stood there with still chest and firm grip.<\/p>\n

\u201cWot the bloody hell happened?\u201d<\/p>\n

Taking a deeper breath than I should have, because I was feeling lightheaded as it was. \u201cYou ever have the feeling you want to be found, but the one person who can find you isn\u2019t even looking?\u201d<\/p>\n

The blue in Spike\u2019s eyes dulled into a sinful indigo and I felt the twitch in his knuckles of the hand that still held my wrist. \u201cAll too clearly luv.\u201d<\/p>\n

I looked away after the speeding truck hurtling down the street. It looked like it was going to hit something if it didn\u2019t slow down. A lot like me.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s so frustrating because he\u2019s either emotionally stunted to just plain heartless!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you really want me to answer that?\u201d<\/p>\n

I dragged my eyes back to his for another long lung filled sigh. \u201cNo. I suppose not.\u201d Without bothering to think if my clothes were Armani or if the sidewalk was slightly dewy because of the cool night air, I plopped down on the curb and wrapped my arms around my knees.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf I can\u2019t remember loving him, Spike? Why do I?\u201d<\/p>\n

The leather bundle dropped right down next to me. \u201cYou called me Spike?\u201d His mouth stretched into an insufferable smirk and I had to smack him hard across the knee to get rid of it.<\/p>\n

\u201cAwo! Wot makes you think you don\u2019t remember loving him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause have you looked at him recently?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTried not to luv.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI mean just the fact that it\u2019s him. Between the whole tongue tied mumbles and the possessive snarling I witnessed today, I can\u2019t understand what the hell he wants from me. And you know the really confusing thing? I actually asked him if we were in love and he gave me the same non-committal, non-expressive grunt that he does when he\u2019s afraid to admit a part of him is still human.<\/p>\n

I mean did I not work him out of his shell the years that I worked with him? I can\u2019t imagine living with that yak while he acts all broody and mood swingy!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou forget luv, this is Angelpuss we\u2019re talking about. He happens to be THE most simply complex bugger that walked with a soul.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere aren\u2019t a lot of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere you go.\u201d<\/p>\n

The truth was I didn\u2019t know what to expect from him. The whole lurking in the darkness was one thing, but actually living there? I must have come to terms with this vampire thing while I was with him.<\/p>\n

I mean the whole demon issue doesn\u2019t bother me, that much is proved today and I sure as hell am not intimidated by it so that must mean we had gotten to some point of understanding. I know it\u2019s there, but why can\u2019t I feel it?<\/p>\n

Why does it always feel like he leads me to the right door but then forgets to give me the damned key?<\/p>\n

\u201cWot exactly do you want the bloke to say Vix?\u201d<\/p>\n

I looked up at the obvious question and caught the curiosity in Spike\u2019s eyes. They didn\u2019t mock me at all. I thought for a second. What did I want him to say? I love you? I care about you? You matter to me? I\u2019m glad you\u2019re still here? I\u2019m glad they didn\u2019t take away your good taste in clothing?<\/p>\n

\u201cSometimes it\u2019s not about him saying something. Sometimes it\u2019s just about this insane need to be held. And I\u2019m trying really hard to be a big girl about this, but even big girls have something, either parents or even neurotic vampire boyfriends. I suddenly have nothing. My friends feel like my friends but I don\u2019t know them anymore.<\/p>\n

My life feels like my life but I don\u2019t know IT anymore. And the damned icing on the cake is that everyone treats me like I\u2019m made of glass. HELLO! If they hug me too hard or push me in a snow drift I won\u2019t break! I might pummel them into the ground, but dammit it\u2019s like they\u2019re afraid to touch me and not only is it unsettling, but it\u2019s starting to piss the hell out of me! Touch me dammit!\u201d<\/p>\n

Spike quirked an eyebrow. \u201cYou coming on to me Luv?\u201d<\/p>\n

I smacked him upside the head.<\/p>\n

\u201cAWO! Fuckin\u2019 `ell, you hit pretty good for a girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShut up you egotistical sexist pig!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEither way Vix, why do you keep waitin\u2019 for the bloody fool to come to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

I blinked at him. \u201cAre you deaf as well as psychotic? Hello! Did you not hear that I love the stupid old man!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHey watch with the old bit luv, I\u2019m about the same.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDown by a hundred. He told me.\u201d I rolled my eyes and let them wander down the gravel of the sidewalk as it walked farther and farther away from me, just like my grasp on control.<\/p>\n

\u201cCrock! He\u2019s lyin\u2019 `E is! Never you mind though. The point is cheerleader\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCordelia.\u201d<\/p>\n

He blinked, caught off guard. \u201cWot?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s Cordelia.\u201d I swept my eyes back, narrowed and warning. \u201cNot Vixen, or Vix or Luv or Cheerleader. It\u2019s Cordelia. Say it with me now\u2026COR\u2026DE\u2026LIA.\u201d<\/p>\n

He glared right back at me with the same narrowed, albeit blue eyes. \u201cAs opposed to wot? Sparky? Spooky?\u201d He let out an undignified snort. \u201cNo wait! How about bleedin\u2019 Spock? Spock! The ruddy thing was not even human!\u201d<\/p>\n

I arched an eyebrow and leaned closer to his face, my breath skirting smoothly across his mouth enough to make him notice. \u201cAs opposed to what? You?\u201d<\/p>\n

He threw up his hands and rolled his eyes in exasperation. \u201cYou\u2019re bloody impossible Vix.\u201d Slapping his hands on his knees he stood and towered over me in the same cocky self-assured way that I\u2019d gotten used to from him.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know wot COR-DE-LIA?\u201d This time the mocking slur of his blue eyes was apparent. \u201cMaybe it\u2019s about bloody time that you got off your cute little arse and look for a spot of pluck!\u201d<\/p>\n

The fire ignited again in my belly. What the hell was up with these vampires? Was it the official pick on Cordelia day today! First Angel with the whole throwing-me-over-his-shoulder bit and now Sparky with the plucking-arse comment! Who the hell did they think Cordelia Chase was? Jumping to my feet I stood there, my nose almost touching him, my fists braced at my hips. \u201cYou did not just call me chicken.\u201d<\/p>\n

His mouth lifted at the corner in a slight smirk. \u201cBy pluck I meant spine, but yeh; that was the general ide\u2026OOF!!!\u201d He spat out the stale air in his lungs as my fist met the underside of his abdomen.<\/p>\n

\u201cBloody Fuck!\u201d He reeled back and ducked the next punch I threw for his nose. \u201cWatch the face!\u201d With an excited grin he jumped sideways, grabbed my wrist and spun me into his arms, one wrist pinned to my lower back and the other caught between the weights of our bodies.<\/p>\n

\u201dLET GO OF ME YOU BLEACHED BLOND JERK!\u201d<\/p>\n

He leered down at me while I struggled in his grip. \u201cThat\u2019s it Luv. That\u2019s better. Never really took you for the bystander type anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n

I glared up into his knowing blue eyes. \u201cLet me go.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you know why the bleedin fool won\u2019t make a move on you Cordelia? Why he treats you like you\u2019re the last champagne flute he\u2019ll ever drink out of? Coz you are.\u201d I stilled in his arms and his grip loosened.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know how the old saying goes luv,\u201d I took a shuttered breath at his implication before he spoke it for me,<\/p>\n

\u201ccan\u2019t lose wot you don\u2019t have.\u201d<\/p>\n

Part 9<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Part 8.\u00a0CORDELIA \u201cVix!\u201d Damn Angel. Damn Angel and his inability to express himself. It\u2019s not every day I wake up in a world…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3372","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-completed-fics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3372","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3372"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3372\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3372"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3372"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3372"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}