She came in from school painfully aware that there was nothing in Angel\u2019s mansion that she could pick up and throw.<\/p>\n
He was skulking in the corner away from the sunshine and Cordelia barely had time to think about the fact that she\u2019d pointed the Corvette in this direction instead of home.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow was your day?\u201d He asked as she placed herself carefully down onto his couch.<\/p>\n
\u201cShitty,\u201d she answered, her voice thick, \u201cEverybody knows.\u201d<\/p>\n
He made a sympathetic face which still smarted, though she didn\u2019t want to kick his as much as she\u2019d wanted to kick Giles\u2019\u2026 \u201cIt\u2019s all my fault.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia, it\u2019s not\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n
\u201cNot Xander,\u201d she huffed, wondering if he knew, like, anything. \u201cOf course that\u2019s not my fault. I\u2019m talking about today. I opened my big mouth and\u2014Now it\u2019s all over school and\u2014I\u2019m not going back there. Ever.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEver?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEver,\u201d she nodded, reaching up to remove her earrings and toss them on his coffee table which was about the time she noticed the TV. Cordelia blinked, \u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel\u2019s look of surprise faded into a tiny smile, \u201cA television.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDuh,\u201d she rolled her eyes, \u201cI get that. But what\u2019s it doing here?\u201d<\/p>\n
His smile faltered a little, \u201cYou\u2014You kept telling me I needed to get one. Because you were bored. So I thought\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia blinked. It hadn\u2019t been there that morning, which meant\u2026 \u201cYou went out to get me this?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell,\u201d he gave a careful shrug, \u201cIt was no big deal.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her eyes misted suddenly and Cordelia had no choice but to blame the suck-fest that been her day. \u201cYou risk a melba-toast experience to go out and buy me a TV and it\u2019s no big deal?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI just thought\u2026 I thought\u2026\u201d Angel paused, frowned. He didn\u2019t know about the melba-toast experience but the sales guy at the store had been pretty scary. Demonic, he was sure, showing Angel this TV and that, telling him how the one that was ten times the price of the one he\u2019d bought would revolutionise his home. \u201cI don\u2019t know what I thought. I just wanted to do something for you. I can take it back\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
A slow smile spread across her face. \u201cDon\u2019t you dare.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s, uh, it\u2019s not the only thing I did\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia looked at him, no longer suspicious just\u2026 Mildly surprised. \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d She asked, carefully.<\/p>\n
He placed his book by the fireplace and edging around the drapes he left open most days when she was there, led her to one of the other rooms in the mansion.<\/p>\n
He did the Awkward-Dead-Guy-Shuffle which, shocker here; he was really good at and gestured for her to go forward first. Whatever she was expecting? It wasn\u2019t a bed, fully made up. And it wasn\u2019t a small dressing table with a mirror placed right on top, her clothes by its side on the chair.<\/p>\n
Cordelia looked up at him, tried to swallow past the lump caught in her throat. \u201cYou did this for me too?\u201d She asked, once she\u2019d found her voice again.<\/p>\n
Angel nodded, still perfecting his shuffle. \u201cThere was some stuff down in the basement\u2026 I just moved it upstairs, was all.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia thought it was maybe the nicest thing anybody had ever done for her which took her on a whole trip to Weirdsville that she didn\u2019t even want to think about right now. \u201cSo\u2026. What, you want me to move in with you?\u201d<\/p>\n
His gaze shot up \u2013 that hadn\u2019t been his intention at all and now\u2026 \u201cNo, I just\u2014I thought that while you were here\u2014You kept saying there was no mirrors either.\u201d<\/p>\n
She shook her head, looking back into the room. It was still the nicest thing anyone\u2019d ever done for her but the conversation was nine seconds away from descending into awkward so she smiled at him, \u201cAdmit it, you just don\u2019t want to sleep on the sofa any more.\u201d<\/p>\n
He grinned suddenly \u2013 and that? Was a world of not scary. It looked\u2026 Natural, kinda. Not constipated, not forced\u2026 And whoo-boy, if he walked around doing that? He\u2019d be beating off girls with a stick. Not her, of course \u2013 Broken Heart and all \u2013 but\u2014Seriously.<\/p>\n
\u201cGuilty,\u201d he nodded, having stopped shuffling too. \u201cI\u2014Uh, I\u2019ll get back to my reading.\u201d<\/p>\n
He made it all the way to the top of the stairs before Cordelia realized that she hadn\u2019t thought about school once since she\u2019d come home and spoke again. \u201cBroody?\u201d<\/p>\n
He turned, the corners of his mouth lifting at the nickname. \u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you,\u201d she told him, her voice soft.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re welcome.\u201d<\/p>\n
——–<\/strong><\/p>\n On the 6th day she\u2019d stayed with Angel, Cordelia came home to find him bruised, bloody and so very not the picture of manpire nonchalance she\u2019d grown used to this past week.<\/p>\n He was even sitting on the couch which, okay, she guessed it was his and all but would it\u2019ve killed the guy to put down a throw since he was bleeding all over the thing?<\/p>\n \u201cWhat happened?\u201d She asked, moving to sit beside him, avoiding the blood.<\/p>\n \u201cNestor demon,\u201d he told her, wincing as he moved, \u201cI\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, \u2018cause you look it,\u201d she rolled her eyes, \u201cDo you need a hospital?\u201d<\/p>\n He shook his head, which was about the time she noticed the bandages at his feet. She very much resisted the \u2018eww\u2019 face and glanced back up at him again, \u201cActually, you look like crap.\u201d<\/p>\n The corner of his mouth quirked up, \u201cThanks.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, really.\u201d<\/p>\n That grew into a full on smile, albeit a painful one, \u201cI\u2019ll live.\u201d<\/p>\n Cordelia wasn\u2019t so sure \u2013 it was the first time she\u2019d seen him looking all beat up and stuff \u2013 wasn\u2019t one of the perks of being a vampire fast healing or whatever? \u201cWant me to get you anything?\u201d<\/p>\n Angel shook his head, \u201cNo. Thanks.\u201d<\/p>\n She patted his arm gently, since it looked like the only place on his body that wasn\u2019t hurting right now, and settled back beside him. \u201cTV?\u201d<\/p>\n He smiled again, \u201cI\u2019d like that.\u201d<\/p>\n —–<\/strong><\/p>\n His stomach had growled twice in the three hours they sat there.<\/p>\n The first time he ignored it, since Cordelia had missed it too, and tried to judge how painful it was going to be getting off the couch to go to his refrigerator for blood.<\/p>\n He tried twisting and the answer was very painful, so he sat back, resting his arm against the back of the couch.<\/p>\n Nestor demons were nasty, lived in sewers and only came out of hibernation once every three month to feed and feed a lot. He wasn\u2019t sure when this particular Nestor had moved in but it looked like a first for Sunnydale and it was big.<\/p>\n He\u2019d caught wind of it from Willy a couple of nights ago when he\u2019d visiting the slimy bar owner, trying to shake some information out of him on a prophecy Giles had called him on.<\/p>\n He\u2019d hit the sewers after Cordelia had left for school that morning and had almost had to be scraped off the floor with a spatula. Nestor demons were quick, went for the throat of anything that attempted to get between it and its prey, which today? Had been Angel, only it hadn\u2019t just gone for the throat.<\/p>\n His stomach rumbled a second time which he knew Cordelia heard because she sort of stiffened on the couch beside him. \u201cWas that you?\u201d She asked.<\/p>\n He shook his head, feigning innocence. He tried not to eat when she was here because for all Cordelia knew and seemed to accept what he was? Eating in front of her was sort of\u2014Not intimate, perhaps, but\u2026 Definitely not something she\u2019d want to see.<\/p>\n She got up and Angel was torn between going after her, maybe apologizing, when she exited his kitchen with two cups.<\/p>\n He smelled the blood before he saw it and his stomach growled again, making him squirm even as she held out the cup. \u201cCordelia\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d She took a drink of her own beverage of choice which was not blood and pushed the cup in his direction again. \u201cTake it.\u201d<\/p>\n Angel blinked, \u201cYou don\u2019t\u2014I mean, I shouldn\u2019t\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShouldn\u2019t what, eat?\u201d She arched an eyebrow, \u201cWhy not? It\u2019s not like I don\u2019t know what you live on.\u201d<\/p>\n He frowned, \u201cI know that, Cordelia, but\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n \u201cAngel, would you take the cup?\u201d She sounded exasperated, so he did as he was told. \u201cBesides, if you\u2019re drinking that? It means you\u2019re not trying to drink me,\u201d she told him, \u201cWhich I am very much on board with.\u201d<\/p>\n She curled her legs beneath her on the couch, blood forgotten about, and turned back to the TV, ignoring the fact that Angel was sat beside her open-mouthed. She didn\u2019t even blink when he raised the cup to his lips, just gave off this tiny little smirk that said See? That wasn\u2019t so bad\u2026<\/i> and kept watching TV.<\/p>\n ——-<\/strong><\/p>\n By the 7th day, Angel was completely healed and the television he\u2019d thought was going to be a total conversation killer led them to a variety of discussions.<\/p>\n They talked about her aspirations as an actress, led by some of the movies he was surprised to find she liked \u2013 Casablanca, Gone With the Wind.<\/p>\n They talked about her parents who were absent at best<\/i> then, to Angel\u2019s dismay, his own parents and the past that he\u2019d just as soon forget about but never could.<\/p>\n It was never going to be a conversation he liked having and he tried to ignore the fact that he was talking to Cordelia about this but when something on the TV piqued her curiosity and she turned to him, asking him if he remembered all the people he\u2019d killed? He shook his head, slowly. \u201cNot really,\u201d he admitted quietly. \u201cThere was a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n She didn\u2019t answer that for a moment. She turned back to the TV and Angel thought that maybe she hadn\u2019t heard him when she piped up with, \u201cI guess a couple of hundred years of being evil there would be.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah,\u201d Angel nodded, thinking the conversation was over.<\/p>\n \u201cIs that why you help?\u201d<\/p>\n He turned his attention \u2013 which had been flaky at best<\/i> \u2013 from the TV to her again. \u201cHelp?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, help. Y\u2019know, people? Me?\u201d Her head tilted as she studied him, \u201cAt first I thought it was to impress Little Ms. Likes to Fight but then\u2026 I don\u2019t see her around here so much any more.\u201d Actually, she hadn\u2019t seen her around here at all since her Dinner Party of Death but she wasn\u2019t going to draw attention to that. \u201cSo I figure you\u2019re trying to impress someone.\u201d<\/p>\n He semi-frowned at that. \u201cI\u2019m not trying to impress anyone.\u201d<\/p>\n Cordelia shook her head, \u201cOkay, maybe not impress someone\u2026 Make up for it, maybe?\u201d<\/p>\n Angel sighed, \u201cThat\u2019s a whole lot of things to make up for, Cordelia.\u201d<\/p>\n She scoffed, \u201cAnd what, time\u2019s an issue for you? Hello, you\u2019re immortal, remember? As in going to live forever?\u201d<\/p>\n He thought about that for a while, didn\u2019t speak. Cordelia turned back to the TV with a roll of her eyes, pegging Angel\u2019s silence for Brood-Greatly-Mode where he beat himself up with all the things he\u2019d done, as if he hadn\u2019t saved a few hundred people since then.<\/p>\n \u201cYou think I can make up for it?\u201d He asked, almost a full half hour later, wondering why it mattered.<\/p>\n Cordelia shrugged, \u201cI have no idea, it\u2019s not like I\u2019m on a direct line with those on high or whatever, but\u2026 I think maybe it means something that you try.\u201d<\/p>\n Angel nodded.<\/p>\n —– And talking.<\/p>\n And talking a bit more than that, too.<\/p>\n She\u2019d told him all about her weird dream where she\u2019d wished Buffy had never come to Sunnydale, he\u2019d somehow disappeared too and she\u2019d been killed by Willow and Xander who, as if life weren\u2019t weird enough in that dream? Were skanky-ho-vampires and totally in a relationship and having sex or something.<\/p>\n He\u2019d arched an eyebrow at that and Cordelia had rolled her eyes, telling him that if he was going to start in her subconscious mind or whatever, he\u2019d be wearing the blood he was currently drinking.<\/p>\n \u201cI mean, I make this wish and then don\u2019t even include a clause that says that I won\u2019t die or whatever? Who does that?\u201d Because she was her father\u2019s daughter, after all. Common sense told you that you checked the small print on e-v-e-r-y-thing.<\/p>\n She was honestly trying to puzzle it out. It wasn\u2019t the first time she\u2019d thought that Buffy was the total root of all her problems but wishing she\u2019d never come to Sunnydale was a bit harsh. After all, that would mean Angel never would have either\u2026 And she was thinking about that why?<\/p>\n \u201cIt was probably just a dream, Cordelia,\u201d said Angel, smiling uber-patiently (which seemed to be his thing with her).<\/p>\n \u201cWell it sure felt real,\u201d she murmured, shaking her head. \u201cAnd did I mention the part that the girl I made the wish with is now an exceptionally pissed off student at my school?\u201d<\/p>\n That got his attention quick. \u201cShe\u2019s a student?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHa!\u201d She grinned, \u201cNot too quick to call it a dream now, are ya?\u201d<\/p>\n Angel frowned, \u201cHave you talked to Giles about this?\u201d<\/p>\n Her sudden smile faded, \u201cOh, sure. \u2018Cause I make it my life\u2019s mission to run to Bookish, British and Boring every time I have a weird dream.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m serious, Cordelia,\u201d said Angel, \u201cShe could be anything, some sort of demon\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd she could also be a normal teenager with raging hormones who hates Sunnydale as much as the next sane person,\u201d Cordelia rolled her eyes, \u201cGeez. Overreact, much?\u201d<\/p>\n Angel frowned again but said nothing else, wondering if he was overreacting or whether there was something in it. He made a mental note to speak to Giles, nonetheless, and took another sip of blood as Cordelia switched on the TV and propped her feet on his lap.<\/p>\n They watched uninterrupted for half an hour, Cordelia\u2019s laughter ringing out every so often at something Chandler said on a rerun of Friends.<\/p>\n He didn\u2019t hear the door, didn\u2019t even hear her heartbeat which was strange when he considered how attuned he was to Buffy\u2019s movements when they\u2019d been together.<\/p>\n He heard her voice first, heard how pissed she was and knew that the shit was about to hit the proverbial fan.<\/p>\n \u201cThis looks cozy,\u201d said her voice from the door and as Cordelia turned, she could actually swear that Buffy was about to, like, breathe fire or something.<\/p>\n She pulled her feet from Angel\u2019s lap and stood \u2013 not, of course, as quickly as Angel did (hello, super-Vampire-speed) and opened her mouth to speak.<\/p>\n Angel, again, got there first. \u201cBuffy\u2026 What are you doing here?\u201d<\/p>\n Her gaze narrowed as she moved further into the room, \u201cI came to see how you were doing. I\u2019ve mis\u2014You, uh, haven\u2019t been on patrol lately and I just thought\u2026\u201d Her voice trailed off as she looked from Angel, to Cordelia, then back again, expecting an explanation.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s not what it looks like,\u201d Angel started, stepping to one side and putting himself squarely between Cordelia and Buffy.<\/p>\n Cordelia frowned at the words, noted Buffy\u2019s scornful look and stepped out from behind Awkward Dead Guy in turn. \u201cUh, hello? It\u2019s exactly<\/i> what it looks like,\u201d she pointed out huffily, \u201cWe\u2019re watching TV.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCordelia\u2014\u201c Angel\u2019s voice was low, harsh, and that stung more than his earlier words, \u201cI\u2019ll handle this.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHandle what?\u201d She demanded, \u201cThere\u2019s nothing to handle. We were watching TV, end of.\u201d<\/p>\n Buffy watched the exchange silently, hands clenched into fists by her side. \u201cWe need to talk,\u201d she said to Angel, and spun on her heel to walk outside.<\/p>\n Cordelia looked at him, about to tell him that he did not need to follow her and defend himself because there was nothing to defend, when she caught the look.<\/p>\n \u201cStay here.\u201d<\/p>\n —– \u201cCordelia\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDid you explain?\u201d Her voice was cold but she didn\u2019t take her eyes off the TV.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2014I told her that we were\u2026\u201d Angel sighed. He hadn\u2019t told her much, actually. Cordelia had been right, there was nothing going on and yet the way it looked\u2026<\/p>\n \u201cYou told her that we were what?\u201d She turned to look at him now and there was no mistaking the hurt in her eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cI told her you needed a place to stay,\u201d said Angel. Even to his own ears the explanation had sounded lame. It sounded even worse saying it to Cordelia.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat, because I don\u2019t have a place of my own? You didn\u2019t have to explain, Angel,\u201d she frowned.<\/p>\n \u201cI did,\u201d said Angel. \u201cThe way it looked\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe way what looked?\u201d She glared at him, \u201cMe and you, sitting together watching TV? Like we can\u2019t be\u2026\u201d Her voice trailed off.<\/p>\n \u201cCan\u2019t be what?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI guess I just thought\u2026\u201d Her words stuck in her throat and Cordelia\u2019s gaze dropped. Was it such a stretch to believe that she could find something in common with Angel? Or that he could, God<\/i>, be her friend?<\/p>\n It was his fault! Offering her a place to stay, buying a TV, talking with her\u2026<\/p>\n If he hadn\u2019t done all that then maybe she wouldn\u2019t be thinking this. Maybe she\u2019d just be at home where she belonged, cutting the Xander-heads off all her photos.<\/p>\n The heartache that she\u2019d managed to stave off for most of the week suddenly seemed very there and very real and Cordelia was suddenly left contemplating the fact that maybe she hated Angel a little too because this was his fault.<\/p>\n \u201cI thought we were friends,\u201d she admitted with a tiny little laugh that should have sounded funny, not high and painful and breathy. God, she was an idiot. \u201cI mean, you and me? Having something in common? Please.\u201d<\/p>\n He looked wounded at that but Cordelia honestly couldn\u2019t bring herself to care; it was nowhere near the barb she could\u2019ve delivered but then, lately, none of them were. She shook her head, standing. \u201cI think it\u2019s time I left.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCordelia\u2014You don\u2019t have to do that\u2026 Buffy understands\u2026\u201d He tried.<\/p>\n Mostly, it was futile. Cordelia had pretty much made up her mind the minute Angel had went to fall all over Little Ms. Likes to Slay and this so was not a jealousy thing. \u201cShe understands what?\u201d She frowned, \u201cThat we watch TV together? That we talk? She made whatever *this* is look totally sinister and up until you opened your big, stupid mouth? There was nothing sinister in it!\u201d<\/p>\n Angel looked puzzled, \u201cWhen I\u2014What did I say?\u201d<\/p>\n He was completely and utterly clueless. \u201cIt\u2019s not what it looks like,\u201d she mimicked, glaring at him. \u201cNo wonder she thought something was going on\u2026 That\u2019s exactly what Xander said to me outside that stupid warehouse.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh.\u201d And suddenly Angel understood.<\/p>\n Cordelia sighed. All he\u2019d had to say was that they were friends. Okay, maybe it did look a little weird to Buffy but\u2026 That weird? Really?<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m gonna get my stuff,\u201d she said with about as much enthusiasm as she could muster which, right now? Was very little.<\/p>\n \u201cCordelia, really\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAngel, it\u2019s fine. I had to go home sometime anyway,\u201d said Cordelia, tossing him the remote and shrugging like she didn\u2019t have a care in the world.<\/p>\n It took less than three minutes to collect her stuff and the goodbye? Was awkward personified but finally she was out of there and driving back to her own life, back to reality after a week and a half of\u2026 She didn\u2019t even know what with Angel.<\/p>\n She didn\u2019t feel the prick of tears until she turned the corner to her very big, very empty house and pounded her fist on the wheel. \u201cSuck it up, Cordelia,\u201d she snapped at her reflection in the mirror, grabbing her bag to go into the house.<\/p>\n What, exactly, had she expected?<\/p>\n
\nShe\u2019d been there a week and a half and the weird thing about their pseudo-friendship? Was that it wasn\u2019t that weird at all. She\u2019d told him on the night of her Get Well Soon Party of Fail that they didn\u2019t really have much in common but that hadn\u2019t stopped them talking.<\/p>\n
\nHe came back in to find Cordelia on the couch, staring at the screen. He sat beside her but she made no move to put her feet in his lap as she might have done earlier, didn\u2019t even blink.<\/p>\n