Part 18<\/b><\/p>\n
Angel lightly stroked Cordelia\u2019s face with the back of his fingers. He could tell by her rapid eye movement she was dreaming. Her scent told him she was enjoying that dream. His lips grazed her earlobe. \u201cCordy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMmm Angel. Don\u2019t stop.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t stop what?\u201d His tongue darted out wetting the patch of skin behind her ear.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t stop touching me. Please. You feel so good.\u201d Cordelia clutched his arm, squeezing it in rhythm with her wriggling hips. \u201cPlease.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWake up for me, Cordy.\u201d He trailed moist kisses across her cheek until he reached her mouth. His lips brushed hers. \u201cWake up.\u201d Her eyes blinked open just as he captured her lips in a fiery kiss. Their tongues battled for dominance as the rising sun peeked through the edge of the curtains casting shadows across the entwined couple.<\/p>\n
She panted for breath unsure if she was still dreaming or not. \u201cAngel?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen did you get home?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJust now. Were you dreaming about me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes. You were wonderful.\u201d Her cheeks flushed a deep crimson. \u201cHow did Oz sitting go?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was torture. I missed you so much. I kept picturing you snuggled in this big bed all by your lonesome. You looked so beautiful but very, very lonely.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI was. I spent most of the night tossing and turning. I guess I fell asleep eventually.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cStay home today. You can call in sick.\u201d He nuzzled her neck, soaking in her warmth. \u201cI want you in my arms.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t. I have to go to school so I can finally break up with Xander.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel\u2019s head popped up. \u201cYou didn\u2019t do it last night?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo and don\u2019t look at me like that. You didn\u2019t break up with Buffy either.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow did you know that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe showed up last night.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI tried to but she kept changing the subject and then Oz became really agitated. Buffy thought it might be because she was wearing Willow\u2019s sweater. I started to tell her but she jumped up and said she had to go. She said she didn\u2019t want to upset Oz. She was afraid he might hurt himself.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know. She told us. At first I thought she knew. I was bracing myself for the first punch but it never came. She dragged Willow off to another table instead.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWillow was there too?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes. When I showed up at Xander\u2019s house to pick him up, Willow was already there. He invited her to come out with us because she gets depressed when Oz has to be locked up.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought you told him you wanted to be alone?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI did. That\u2019s life with Xander. Willow or Buffy\u2019s hangnail is more important than me. I was all ready to just tell him off in front of Willow when Buffy showed up. I know I have plenty of reasons to dump him without mentioning you but I was afraid he might bring you into it. I know that isn\u2019t how you\u2019d want her to find out so I decided to do it at school today. I had hoped I could talk to him when I dropped him off but Willow and Buffy asked for a ride home. One good thing came out of last night.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI am through feeling guilty about hurting Xander Harris.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m glad to hear it. He doesn\u2019t deserve you. I am sorry it didn\u2019t go well last night, for either of us but today is the day.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDamn straight. I will get him alone sometime at school today.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you going to tell him about us?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. He\u2019ll run straight to Buffy. I\u2019d rather deal with his righteous indignation later.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHis what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen he finds out about us, he\u2019ll be quick to point out that I\u2019m a cheater and a horrible person. He\u2019ll tell me how he never cheated on me.\u201d She shrugged.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was never his priority. I was someone to make out with when he wasn\u2019t falling all over Buffy or getting cozy with Willow. I\u2019m not going to beat myself up over this anymore. I fell in love and I\u2019m not sorry. I deserve to be happy. Have you decided what you\u2019re going to say to Buffy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot exactly. There are no right words to say that will make it not hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you going to tell her about us?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes. I want her to find out from me. After tonight I don\u2019t intend to hide how I feel about you anymore. I won\u2019t pretend I\u2019m not in love with you. I\u2019m not suggesting we make out in the library but I wouldn\u2019t do that anyway. Kissing isn\u2019t a spectator sport. It\u2019s intimate. It\u2019s private.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI agree but I doubt we\u2019ll have to worry about that. I don\u2019t think either of us will be welcome in the library.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe won\u2019t at first but we\u2019ll have to work together against the Mayor. They\u2019ll need help.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey\u2019ll need your help, Angel.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHey. I won\u2019t go back without you. We\u2019re in this together. I won\u2019t apologize for falling in love with you. I am truly sorry that Buffy will be hurt by this but if I had to do it over again, I wouldn\u2019t change a thing. I mean in post-hell kind of way.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re doing it again.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDoing what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBeing so sweet that I have the urge to rip off your clothes.\u201d Cordelia pushed Angel onto his back and climbed astride him. She sat up, her hands splayed across his chest. \u201cI think you enjoy torturing me. It\u2019s not nice to tease the person you love.\u201d She leaned forward and dropped a kiss on his chin.<\/p>\n
Angel gripped her hips. His groan ripped through the air as his hands connected with flesh. His mind quickly registered she was only wearing a t-shirt that ended at her waist and a pair of lace panties. \u201cYou\u2019re evil.\u201d<\/p>\n
She rolled her hips eliciting another groan. \u201cWhat ever do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n
He reached up and tangled his hand in her hair. He crushed her mouth to his, her breasts pressed tightly against his chest. His tongue explored the deep cavern of her mouth, drinking her in, savoring her unique flavor. She whimpered in displeasure when he broke the kiss. \u201cYou need to go to school.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI still have some time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you don\u2019t get up now, I won\u2019t let you go later.\u201d<\/p>\n
She giggled as she peppered his face with kisses. \u201cI don\u2019t care if we have to lock up everyone we know but we WILL make love tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know. What would it say about me if I put out on the first date? I wouldn\u2019t want to lose your respect.\u201d<\/p>\n
She ground her hips into his enjoying the delicious friction. \u201cI would never force you to do anything you didn\u2019t want to do.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWill you still respect me in the morning?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat depends entirely on your performance.\u201d She shrieked in surprise when he flipped her onto her back.<\/p>\n
Angel stared down into her eyes. \u201cI have had mmphf.\u201d<\/p>\n
She pressed her hand to his mouth. \u201cIf you choose to remind me of your vast experience at this particular moment in time, I swear I will describe every intimate moment I shared with Xander in complete and very vivid detail. You know he does this thing with his\u2026\u201d She smiled into his amber eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re so cute when you\u2019re jealous.\u201d She lowered her hand and lifted her head off the bed. She placed a kiss on the tip of his nose as her hands slipped inside his shirt, searing his cool flesh with her touch. Her fingertips teased his nipples, smiling as they pebbled.<\/p>\n
A cross between a growl and a purr rumbled through his chest. \u201cYou\u2019re so cuddly when you\u2019re like this.\u201d<\/p>\n
He grabbed her hands, pulled them out from under his shirt and pinned them above her head. His eyes closed as he tried to will his features to shift. His battle was lost the moment her blunt teeth bit his shoulder.<\/p>\n
She groaned into his mouth as he devoured her. His tongue plunged in teasing and challenging hers. She clutched his back. Her nails desperately clawed the tense muscles. She needed him closer.<\/p>\n
One hand slid down her body and curled her leg around his hip. Her heat teased his hardened flesh through lace and cotton barriers. He rocked against her. \u201cI want you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel, let\u2019s not wait until tonight.\u201d She tugged on his shirt, trying to pull it over his head.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you sure? I don\u2019t want you to have any regrets.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t wait anymore. I need you now.\u201d<\/p>\n
He rested his forehead on hers. \u201cAs much as I want you and as much as it pains me to say, that wasn\u2019t the right answer.\u201d He rolled off her. His entire body screamed in protest. He draped an arm over his eyes and tried to think unsexy thoughts.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re stopping? You can\u2019t stop.\u201d She climbed on top of him. \u201cThere has been way too much stopping lately. I can\u2019t take it anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy, I know you don\u2019t want our first time to be while we\u2019re still technically involved with other people. I don\u2019t doubt you want to make love but you\u2019ll have regrets later. I can\u2019t let that happen. This isn\u2019t about finally making love to you, not for me. This will be our first time, a first of many I hope. I want to be with you, not just now or tonight but for a long time to come. I don\u2019t know what I have to offer you. You have your whole life ahead of you and I\u2019m selfish enough to want to be a part of that for as long as you\u2019ll allow me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDammit Angel! You\u2019re being wonderful again.\u201d She took a deep breath. \u201cI am going to take a cold shower before I go to school. I WILL break up with Xander today even if I have to announce it in the middle of the cafeteria.\u201d<\/p>\n
He smiled at her frustrated expression. \u201cAs soon as I can possibly get there without going up in flames, I will talk to Buffy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat about Giles?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you\u2019re about to tell me you\u2019ve been secretly dating him, I\u2019m going to..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShut up. I meant he\u2019ll probably want you to Oz sit again.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI already told him I couldn\u2019t watch him tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat did he say?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe looked like he wanted to say something but decided against it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo we are really going out tonight?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes. I don\u2019t care if the hellmouth decides to open up for business. Our plans are set in stone.\u201d He reached around and smacked her butt. \u201cNow go take your cold shower. You have a loser to dump.\u201d<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
\u201cHey Giles.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia, aren\u2019t you supposed to be in class?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe had a substitute so I decided to cut.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou really shouldn\u2019t..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat difference does it make? I\u2019ve had all A\u2019s and B\u2019s in that class. I\u2019m not going to fail so it doesn\u2019t really matter if I skip it today.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI take it your parents haven\u2019t relented.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNope. I need to learn how to run a household and how to throw a dinner party for twelve. College is for boys and ugly girls who need an education so they can support themselves. Oh and for girls only pretty enough to marry boys who will never be able to fully support them.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI cannot believe your parents believe that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTell me about it. I\u2019ve given up. No college for me. I don\u2019t exactly qualify for financial aid.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey won\u2019t even allow you to attend UC Sunnydale?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. My time would be better spent at the country club. My mother thinks I should travel with her. There are some eligible men I apparently just have to meet.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey should be horsewhipped.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s how they were raised to think. They both came from money. Mother has never worked a day in her life and neither did my grandmothers. Women are meant to look pretty and be charming when the occasion calls for it. They hire other women to do the household chores and raise the children. I like nice things but that isn\u2019t the life for me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMy offer still stands.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d She stared at her hands. \u201cI love being able to talk to you. Your friendship means a lot to me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt means a lot to me as well. Who would have thought it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt took me by surprise. The stuffy tweed-wearing librarian turned out to be a pretty great guy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you. The tactless beautiful young woman turned out to be a rather wonderful friend.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI would hate to lose your friendship.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia, if your parents continue to pressure you, you are more than welcome to stay with me. I have a guest room I never use.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve been thinking about my future a lot in the past few days. My plan had been to humor my parents and hang out here with all of you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHas your plan changed?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia, is something wrong? You haven\u2019t seemed yourself lately. You sounded like you wanted to tell me something yesterday morning on the phone and then when you were here, you seemed terribly distracted.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNothing is wrong. Actually it\u2019s the exact opposite. That\u2019s the problem. Giles, I..\u201d<\/p>\n
The office door flew open. \u201cGiles, I need to talk to you.\u201d Buffy\u2019s eyes widened slightly at Cordelia\u2019s presence. \u201cIt\u2019s important.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course. What is it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCan we talk privately?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cVery well. Cordelia, will you wait here a moment please? I would like to continue our discussion.\u201d He ushered Buffy into the library and closed the office door behind him.<\/p>\n
Buffy slowly walked over to the table. Her eyes kept glancing at the office.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat did you wish to speak to me about? Did you run into Faith last night?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s nothing like that. It\u2019s about Angel.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe told me how agitated Oz became last night. You were probably right in your assumption. Willow\u2019s scent on another person would in all likelihood agitate him.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not what I want to talk about. Last night, Angel was acting really weird. Actually he\u2019s been acting weird for a while now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you think he\u2019s having an adverse reaction to the cure? He said he hadn\u2019t heard anymore thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. It\u2019s not that. Well I think that may have played a part in everything.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBuffy, it might help if you simply told me what\u2019s on your mind.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s pulling away from me. At first I thought it was my imagination but Willow sees it too.\u201d<\/p>\n
Giles removed his glasses and began polishing them. \u201cYou have both been through a lot. Perhaps..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGiles, he and Cordelia are becoming close.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI beg your pardon?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI saw them in her kitchen. They were laughing and talking. He\u2019s turning to her instead of me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t see\u2026 Why are you telling me about this?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI want you to ask Cordelia to back off.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know this is awkward but I can\u2019t lose Angel, not after everything we\u2019ve been through. I know I pushed him away when he got his aspect of the demon thingy. It was a mistake. He turned to Cordelia because I wasn\u2019t there for him. Now it\u2019s like he doesn\u2019t need me because he has her. If she would just back off a little, he and I could work it out.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy don\u2019t you discuss this with her or better yet with Angel?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy won\u2019t do this for me. She and I don\u2019t exactly get along very well. Hell she\u2019s probably doing this because of me. As for Angel, he and I\u2026 We have a special connection and she\u2019s messing that up. I just need time alone with Angel. I talked to my mom last night. I told her about Faith threatening him. She isn\u2019t happy about it but I\u2019m going to stay at the mansion with Angel until graduation.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t think..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI just need you to talk to Cordelia. You two for whatever reason are friends. She\u2019ll listen to you. Xander isn\u2019t exactly happy with her being friends with Angel either. It messes up our whole group dynamic. We need\u2026 I need to be on my game right now. Please Giles.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t feel comfortable with this.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut you\u2019ll do it?\u201d<\/p>\n
He sighed. \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re the best. No time like the present I always say.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIf I had a quarter for every time you said that, I\u2019d be very poor.\u201d<\/p>\n
She winked at him. \u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRun along to class.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLater.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia was sitting at his desk when he entered his office. \u201cHow much of that did you overhear?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAll of it. Let me hear your speech. Tell me how I should stay away from Angel for Buffy\u2019s sake.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou must understand she\u2019s been through a terrible ordeal.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAs if I could forget.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia, be reasonable. I have never approved of your friendship with Angel. You better than anyone knows what he did to me. How can you befriend such a..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you really want to know?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause I know that without a doubt if you were turned tonight and tortured me tomorrow, I would never blame you. My Giles would be gone. My Giles would never hurt me, at least not physically.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not trying to hurt you, Cordelia.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAren\u2019t you? We\u2019ve had one rule in our friendship. Neither of us tries to force the other to choose sides where Buffy is concerned. No matter how often she smiled sweetly in Xander\u2019s direction to piss me off, I never asked you to intervene. No matter what she called me, I never asked you to defend me. I fight my own battles with Buffy. I have listened to every one of your lectures about how I should be nicer to her. I may have occasionally bitched at her in your defense but I have never betrayed your confidences or our friendship. I\u2019m not sorry I became friends with Angel and believe it or not, I\u2019m sorry that this hurts Buffy. I honestly never intended to. Unlike some, I don\u2019t consider \u201chow will my actions affect Buffy\u201d before I make every decision. Giles, sometimes our decisions are made for us. Things happen without our realizing it until it\u2019s too late to do anything about it, even if you wanted to.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are you saying?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ve made the only decision you could. You chose to support Buffy. I knew it would happen.\u201d She blinked back the tears that were stinging her eyes. \u201cOur friendship was too unusual to last.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia, Buffy and Angel\u2019s bond isn\u2019t something I\u2019m particularly happy about, but it will not be denied. I wish that wasn\u2019t true. I truly do but I have learned not to stand in their way. I won\u2019t tell you not to be his friend. Buffy and Angel will find a way to be together in the end. I\u2019ve accepted that. If you\u2019re his friend, you should too. Please don\u2019t allow their problems to affect our friendship.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI gotta go. We\u2019ll talk later.\u201d<\/p>\n
Giles watched her leave. He didn\u2019t understand why Cordelia was so distraught but he did know he had hurt her. Buffy was like a daughter to him. He couldn\u2019t say no to her when she needed him.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
\u201cMiss Summers, you actually wish to participate in this discussion?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes. Romeo and Juliet<\/i> is my favorite play.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere\u2019s a shocker.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMiss Chase, is there something you would like to add?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRomeo and Juliet<\/i> is one of the most overrated plays ever written. They didn\u2019t even know each other. How can you call that true love? Suicide, that\u2019s totally lame.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was love at first sight, Cordy. Maybe that\u2019s not something you know anything about but when it happens, it lasts forever.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah right. Forever wasn\u2019t very long for them. I\u2019m not saying love at first sight isn\u2019t wonderful but then what? I mean if that\u2019s all you got, it won\u2019t last. They weren\u2019t even friends. Aside from their last names, what did they know about each other? Love at first sight isn\u2019t meant to be the high point; it\u2019s meant to be built upon.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey knew they loved each other. If other people would just stay out of their business, they would have lived happily ever after.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course, it\u2019s always someone else\u2019s fault. Poor.. Juliet, ever the victim. Was she even there for Romeo? He had just accidentally killed someone; where was the support? And regardless of the circumstances, Romeo is a murderer. Acting like it never happened isn\u2019t the answer. People need to talk, they need to resolve things, and they need support.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell maybe she would have been supportive if given the chance.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWho exactly denied her the chance? Who stopped her from being there but her?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell Juliet\u2019s parents..\u201d<\/p>\n
Buffy practically growled at the girl sitting next to her that dared to speak. \u201cMaybe she was scared, did you ever think of that? Of course not, you just..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe she isn\u2019t the center of the universe. If someone chose to be there for.. Romeo, maybe it had nothing to do with.. Juliet.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah right. It had everything to do with.. Juliet. Jealousy is a very ugly trait. They were.. are soul mates.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPfft. How exactly do you define soul mate, Buffy? What does it require? Is friendship even a prerequisite?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey are friends.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre they? People can\u2019t control their emotions any more than they can control the emotions of others. Things happen. We just have to deal with it when it does.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou obviously can\u2019t understand. You\u2019ve never loved someone so much that you felt like you wanted to die.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cListen to yourself, Buff. If loving some guy makes you want to die don\u2019t walk, run like hell until you get as far away from him as possible. Love should make you want to live. It should make you feel like you could face anyone or anything. It should make you be willing to give up everything to be with that person and no that doesn\u2019t translate into death. Giving up on life is stupid. If anything love should make you feel like you\u2019re alive for the very first time and every part of your being should crave more. Dying is overrated. Look at Romeo and Juliet. Is that what you want your future to be? Dying for love may make for good drama but what point did their deaths serve? Did they save anyone? Did they make the world a better place?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s all for today, class. I\u2019m sure Miss Summers and Miss Chase will be happy to pick up where they left off tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia grabbed her books and headed for the library. She was afraid to say anything else. Angel wanted to be the one to tell Buffy. She knew she should feel sorry for her but she was still too angry about what happened in the library.<\/p>\n
She didn\u2019t derive any pleasure in hurting Buffy but Cordelia wasn\u2019t willing to sacrifice her own happiness to prevent Buffy\u2019s unhappiness. Maybe she was being selfish and delusional but she loved Angel too much to give him up without a fight.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy, don\u2019t think I don\u2019t know what you were trying to do back there. You can spout off the virtues of friendship all you want but you\u2019ll never come between Angel and me. We are meant to be together.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYour relationship with Angel is between you and Angel. If you have a problem, take it up with him.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m taking it up with you. You took advantage of him when he was vulnerable.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia paused. \u201cExcuse me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe was hurting and you..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI was there for him, Buffy. Was I supposed to treat him like a leper because the rest of you did? What was I thinking by being his friend? Shame on me.\u201d She continued walking towards the library.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t use that holier than thou crap on me. You were trying to take him away from me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know this may be hard for you to believe but I wasn\u2019t thinking about you at all. Strangely enough I was only thinking about Angel.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI bet you were.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLook Buffy I wasn\u2019t trying to steal Angel away from you. Things..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh please! This isn\u2019t the first time you tried and it probably won\u2019t be the last time. I thought you cared about Xander. I actually believed you when you said you thought you might be in love with him. I was so stupid. It must have been the fact that we were being hunted like animals that made me sympathetic.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSpare me your concern about Xander. You have always loved the way he worships you. He probably has a Buffy shrine built in his room.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo that\u2019s what this is all about. You\u2019re jealous of my friendship with Xander so you decide to get even by using Angel.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was never about you, Buffy. I\u2019m trying to feel sorry for hurting you but you\u2019re making it really difficult.\u201d She pushed the library door open.<\/p>\n
Buffy grabbed her by the arm. \u201cYou need to make your D-cup brain understand that Angel is mine. We have overcome too much for a whore like you to come between us now. It doesn\u2019t matter what outfit you wear or how much you pretend to care about him, he won\u2019t fall for you.\u201d She dropped Cordelia\u2019s arm the moment Giles stepped out of his office.<\/p>\n
\u201cGod Buffy. You are such a bitch.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGiles, I..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI had hoped the two of you would be able to work out your differences in a civil manner. We have work to do. Buffy needs to train right now. Perhaps you should just go home, Cordelia. I will speak to you about this later.\u201d<\/p>\n
Buffy waited until Giles disappeared into the stacks.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t need your pity, Cordy. We both know that Giles and Xander would do anything for me because I\u2019m important to them. They\u2019d drop you from their lives in a heartbeat if I so much as snapped my fingers. You may have Angel fooled right now, but it won\u2019t last. He and I are meant to be and no matter what you throw at him he\u2019ll never be yours. So why don\u2019t you do yourself a favor and don\u2019t embarrass yourself by going after what\u2019s mine. Angel loves me and we will work everything out. You\u2019re just a speed bump in our lives. Don\u2019t let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia didn\u2019t argue. She just left.<\/p>\n
Buffy heard footsteps. She expected Giles to appear. \u201cAngel.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel didn\u2019t respond. He silently walked past her intent on catching Cordelia. He paused in the doorway. \u201cDo you want to test your theory on me? Go ahead and snap your fingers.\u201d He didn\u2019t look back as he pushed the door open and walked out.<\/p>\n
Buffy stood there in stunned disbelief.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia!\u201d She stopped but he couldn\u2019t reach her. He couldn\u2019t hold her. Angel stayed in the shadows while Cordelia stood bathed in sunlight. She didn\u2019t turn to face him. \u201cI heard what Buffy said to you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe had no right to talk to you like that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDoesn\u2019t she? I stole her boyfriend, whether she knows that or not doesn\u2019t seem relevant.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou didn\u2019t steal me. We fell in love.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid we?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course we did. What are you saying?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat Buffy said may have been cruel but it was also true. I claim to value blunt honesty.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt wasn\u2019t true.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe was right about Giles and Xander.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not them. I came after you. I left Buffy standing in the library.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI have to go. I need to think.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWait!\u201d He could feel the burning rays from the sun centimeters away from his unprotected flesh. \u201cPlease. Come over here so we can talk.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe there was a reason we never went too far, why we kept being interrupted. Maybe it was fate\u2019s way of telling us we weren\u2019t meant to be.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s crap and you know it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen why haven\u2019t we ended our relationships yet? We kept putting it off, making excuses. Maybe we knew what would happen in the end. Maybe we both should think about that before we do anything else.\u201d Cordelia walked away, her feet moving quickly.<\/p>\n
She ignored the way Angel shouted her name and the way every cell in her body begged her to turn around and run into his arms.<\/p>\n
Angel cursed his inability to go after her. He paced the edge of the shadows like a caged tiger. He knew he had to go after her. He was not going to allow fear to end the best thing that ever happened to him.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel?\u201d<\/p>\n
His body tensed at the sound of Buffy\u2019s voice. He tried to remind himself that a part of him still cared for the petite blond. Right now all he saw was the girl who chased Cordy into the sunlight.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan we talk?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t think talking right now is a good idea.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry that you heard that.\u201d She stepped back under his harsh glare. \u201cI\u2019m sorry for what I said to Cordelia. It\u2019s just I\u2019m scared. I feel like I\u2019m losing you. I know this sounds selfish but I\u2019ve always felt like I was your whole world but lately, I feel like you don\u2019t even see me. I saw the two of you laughing in her kitchen and it hurt. She knew you\u2019d enjoy a hot fudge sundae and I didn\u2019t. Why is that? I\u2019m still your girl, aren\u2019t I?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel\u2019s shoulders sagged as the tension in his body was replaced by guilt. \u201cI never meant to hurt you, Buffy. You weren\u2019t there, not that I blamed you. I never deserved you in the first place. Then Cordelia was there and she offered her friendship unconditionally. I never knew I could have something like that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI understand. I mean I have Willow and Xander. I can learn to accept your friendship with Cordelia. We can work through this, Angel. I love you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were the first girl I ever loved. I never thought that would happen to me.\u201d<\/p>\n
She smiled.<\/p>\n
He turned to face her, his eyes pleading for understanding. \u201cI never imagined it could happen twice.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d Buffy\u2019s hand flew to her stomach as her world started to shake.<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t see it coming. We just connected.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is some kind of sick joke, right? You can\u2019t be serious. You cannot stand there and tell me you\u2019ve fallen in love with Cordelia Chase.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Buffy. I never meant to hurt you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo all this time you were screwing her behind my back? I thought Faith was the only whore I needed to worry about.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy is not a whore.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo she\u2019s the perfect saint who\u2019s fucking my boyfriend.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe haven\u2019t..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSpare me the gory details, Angel.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBuffy, I..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t tell me how sorry you are. You aren\u2019t sorry. I can see it in your face.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201c\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWow. You\u2019re not even going to deny it, are you? So that\u2019s it. After everything we\u2019ve been through, you\u2019re just going to dump me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know this may be hard for you to believe but this really is for the best.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh god! I can\u2019t believe you just said that to me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s true even if it\u2019s not what you want to hear right now. You will meet someone who will make you laugh, someone who..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t! Don\u2019t you dare\u2026\u201d Her shock had begun to wear off. Her tears would no longer be denied. \u201cI can\u2019t do this.\u201d She ran off before he could stop her.<\/p>\n
\u201cBuffy!\u201d Once again the sun kept him trapped but this time he knew there was nothing he could do to stop the running girl from hurting. He resumed his pacing. He wished he could help Buffy but he needed to get to Cordelia as soon as possible.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy, I went to the gym looking for you. I thought you had practice today.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was cancelled. The season was already over but we still had the rally before graduation to practice for. Snyder decided he wanted us dressed properly under our gowns and cancelled it. I\u2019m officially done with my high school cheerleading career.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut they let you keep the outfit, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
Despite her mood, she smiled at Xander\u2019s playful comment. \u201cWhat are you doing here?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGiles has been trying to call you. Is there any reason you weren\u2019t answering your phone?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t want to talk to him.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s going on? No one knows where Buffy is. Giles looks like someone just ran over his puppy. Oz seems to have misplaced everybody\u2019s favorite vamp. He picked him up here since he has a free class at the end of the day but Angel disappeared once they got to the school. He and Buffy are probably off making out somewhere. Willow won\u2019t say why but she\u2019s worried about her. She wanted me to find you and ask you what happened earlier. Giles would only say you were arguing about something. I pointed out how that happens all the time but they\u2019ve decided today was the day to be weird about it. Do you know where they are?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat were you fighting about?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRomeo and Juliet<\/i>.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDamn that Will Shakespeare. He\u2019s always starting trouble.\u201d Xander sat down on the end of her lawn chair. He had noticed her red-rimmed eyes right away but he wasn\u2019t sure how to broach the subject. \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter, Cordy? What really happened?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cXander, are you worried about me or Buffy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo I have to choose?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat if I said yes? What if I told you Buffy\u2019s eyes are probably swollen from crying just like mine? Would you stay here with me or would you go after her?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIs there something wrong with Buffy?\u201d He rose to his feet. \u201cIs this about Angel? I may be slow sometimes but I\u2019m not stupid.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t think we should see each other anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat? Is this because I\u2019m worried about Buffy? I\u2019m sorry if you\u2019re not my only concern. Buffy is my friend.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cXander, I have never been your priority. Even when we\u2019re alone, your mind is never focused on me. I turned my back on my friends for you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know. Cordy, I..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cXander, you\u2019re not in love with me and you\u2019re in no danger of falling in love with me. Let\u2019s just end this now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIs this because of Angel?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes\u2026 and no.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI told you before; it\u2019s a waste of time trying to come between Buffy and Angel. Believe me I know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAt this point, it\u2019s not about Angel anymore. Xander, we aren\u2019t right for each other.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s it? You\u2019ve decided.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI wanted to talk to you last night but..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWillow needed me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s just it. I specifically told you I needed to talk to you. You knew I wanted to be alone but Willow and Buffy always come first.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s talk about this. OK. I haven\u2019t been the greatest boyfriend, but you\u2019re my first girlfriend. Give me another chance.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy do you want one?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause I care about you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI care about you too, Xander.\u201d She leaned forward and clasped his hand. \u201cI want to be your friend, but I can\u2019t be your girlfriend. I don\u2019t want to be your girlfriend anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n
Xander pulled his hand free. \u201cIf you think Angel is breaking up with Buffy right now, you\u2019re deluded. He will take one look into her tear-filled eyes and he\u2019ll crumble.\u201d<\/p>\n
She leaned back into her chair. \u201cYou may be right and I\u2019ll be alone.\u201d She wiped the lone tear that escaped with her sleeve. \u201cI\u2019m used to it. I\u2019ve been alone for most of my life. I\u2019ve been alone with you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cStop. You\u2019re breaking my heart.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGoodbye Xander.\u201d Cordelia rose from her chair and walked into the pool house. She didn\u2019t turn to see him leave. She grabbed her blue bikini. Her eyes burned from crying. She hoped a swim would cool her off.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Angel stood frozen by the edge of the pool. Cordelia\u2019s lithe form cutting through the water kept him mesmerized. That and the bikini she wore. The tension that had built up slowly began to seep out. He had abandoned pacing in the shadows shortly after Buffy had run off.<\/p>\n
He took to the sewers even though he knew there was no access to Cordelia\u2019s house. It wasn\u2019t until he had gotten as close to her as he could that it occurred to him he should have asked Oz to drive him. He hadn\u2019t been thinking clearly. He needed to get to her. Now that she was in front of him his fear drained away. He\u2019d been afraid she hadn\u2019t gone home. He knew the others would know the truth by now and might not be willing to help him find her.<\/p>\n
He watched her swim back and forth, only lifting her head high enough to breathe. He decided against interrupting her. A part of him was angry at her for running off. He understood why she was upset but he didn\u2019t like that Cordelia was so quick to distrust what they had together. He thought she trusted him.<\/p>\n
Cordelia leaned against the edge of the pool, her eyes closed. The laps hadn\u2019t made her feel any better. The moment the sun set her nerves had gone haywire. She wasn\u2019t sure what made her more nervous Angel not showing up or showing up. She shivered as her skin prickled with goosebumps. It was almost like Angel was watching her. She glanced towards the house.<\/p>\n
Her gaze locked with his. \u201cAngel.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou ran off.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you break up with Xander?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes. Did you break up with Buffy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou did?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy do you sound surprised?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2026 I\u2019m a little surprised to see you here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m a little surprised to see you swimming instead of getting ready for our date.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are you doing here, Angel?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMy girlfriend invited me to stay with her while her parents were out of town. She gave me a key and everything.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia smiled as tears filled her eyes. \u201cYour girlfriend?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYup. She\u2019s pretty wonderful, except when she\u2019s driving me crazy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDoes she do that often?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cA swim might make you feel better.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat about dinner?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not very hungry. I\u2019d rather see you strip and get in this pool.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat would my girlfriend say?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI believe she just told you to get your butt in this pool right now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell I wouldn\u2019t want to upset my new girlfriend.\u201d Angel leaped into the pool, clothes and all.<\/p>\n
Cordelia looked into his warm loving eyes once he surfaced. \u201cI can\u2019t believe you just did that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou told me to get in this pool right now.\u201d He braced his hands on either side of her, trapping her. \u201cI love you, Cordelia Chase.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI love you too, Angel.\u201d<\/p>\n