Part 17<\/b><\/p>\n
Cordelia reached out for Angel only to find empty space. One eye opened and confirmed she was indeed alone. A part of her was glad he\u2019d had the presence of mind to sneak out early but the rest was disappointed not to wake up in his arms.<\/p>\n
She closed her eyes determined to finish the wonderful dream she\u2019d been having when the bathroom door opened. Her X-rated dream was forgotten the moment her eyes spied Angel exiting the bathroom clad only in a towel. Cordelia gulped.<\/p>\n
Angel studiously ignored the drooling brunette. He gathered his change of clothes and started back towards the bathroom. He considered dropping his towel in the middle of her bedroom and getting dressed in front of her.<\/p>\n
He wasn\u2019t modest but he still decided against it. The moment the scent of her arousal hit him, he knew he might not be able to control his actions.<\/p>\n
As soon as he disappeared, she was tempted to run into her closet and try to steal a peek. She took a few deep breaths and willed her body to calm down. They were being mature. They could wait until tonight to give in to their impulses.<\/p>\n
She was still in bed when he returned. \u201cAre you planning to stay in bed all day?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou say that like it\u2019s a bad thing. How come you\u2019re up so early?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought I should go downstairs before the others woke up.\u201d<\/p>\n
She drew invisible patterns on her bed with her finger. Her nightshirt inched up her hip as she shifted her legs. \u201cYou\u2019re being pretty mature today.\u201d Her lower lip curled out in a pout. \u201cI woke up alone and now you\u2019re in a rush to get away from me. What\u2019s a girl to think? I guess I\u2019m just your personal dream catcher and I served my purpose. Maybe I shouldn\u2019t be so quick to cut Xander loose.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel crawled onto the bed, his predatory eyes never leaving her face. \u201cI\u2019ve heard it is a woman\u2019s prerogative to change her mind but you are about five seconds away from getting a spanking.\u201d He propped his weight on his elbow and loomed over her. \u201cYou decided we had to be mature. You even said I couldn\u2019t sleep here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHey! I was ready to say the hell with maturity but you said you wanted to wait until I was free to scream as loud as I wanted.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah but you were the one who put the brakes on last night.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIs that why I woke up alone?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes\u201d<\/p>\n
Her teasing tone vanished. \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI woke up and you smelled so wonderful. You felt so good in my arms, so warm. You started writhing and moaning. It looked like you were having a pleasant dream.\u201d Her deep blush confirmed his suspicions.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen you moaned my name. It was like yesterday morning but this time I couldn\u2019t hear what was happening. I couldn\u2019t get inside.\u201d He leaned closer. \u201cAnd I wanted inside. You kept writhing against me and moaning my name. I had to get out of bed before I\u2026 made your dream a reality. You said no last night and I was respecting your decision.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia bit her bottom lip. She saw his hunger and longing clearly displayed in his eyes. The confident caresses and expert touches from her dream were still fresh in her mind. She didn\u2019t want to play with him but she wanted to touch him and let him decide if they should stop or not.<\/p>\n
Only she didn\u2019t want their first time to seem tainted. She loved him and she believed he loved her, was waiting really necessary? Did prior commitments preclude making a wonderful lasting memory? Her hand cupped his cheek under its own power. Her thumb brushed his lower lip without her mind\u2019s permission. Her voice came out in a whisper. \u201cI take it you took a cold shower.\u201d<\/p>\n
His tongue darted out to taste the wandering digit. \u201cVery.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry. I didn\u2019t mean to tease you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you mean while you were sleeping or now? You couldn\u2019t help dreaming.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut I can\u2019t help now either. I want you so badly my entire body is humming with it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTell me what you want, Angel.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI want to make love to you.\u201d<\/p>\n
She pulled him closer. \u201cI want that too.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI want it to be right. I want you to be mine and only mine. I want it to be special and I want there to be no regrets.\u201d He rested his forehead on hers.<\/p>\n
\u201cGod Angel, if you\u2019re trying to say we should wait, can\u2019t you act more like a jerk?\u201d She looked into his confused eyes. \u201cWhat you said was so sweet. It makes me want to rip your clothes off and take what I want.\u201d She pulled him further on top of her. \u201cSay something horrible.\u201d<\/p>\n
His hand drifted down her body and cupped a butt cheek. \u201cI think you might want to cut back on the sweets.\u201d<\/p>\n
She shoved him hard sending him off the bed. He landed on his backside with a grunt. She leapt out of bed and stood in front of her mirror. She turned around, looked over her shoulder and studied the shape and size of her butt.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou think I\u2019m fat? I have had a lot of desserts lately. I had pizza and ice cream yesterday. Dammit Angel! You took away my fat free popsicle and I ended up with hot chocolate instead.\u201d She squeezed both cheeks. \u201cI haven\u2019t had practice in days. I knew I should\u2019ve been swimming laps. It\u2019s entirely your fault.\u201d<\/p>\n
When she turned her accusing eyes towards him, he realized she wasn\u2019t joking. He stood and approached her cautiously. \u201cYou told me to say something horrible.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know I asked for it, but\u2026\u201d She looked back at her reflection. She gave her butt another squeeze.<\/p>\n
Angel pushed her hands aside and replaced them with his. \u201cI was kidding. You said to say something horrible so I did. You have a beautiful body. Actually I wouldn\u2019t mind seeing a few more pounds on you.\u201d He kneaded her flesh. \u201cI was only kidding.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo you don\u2019t think I need to lose weight?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course not.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou jerk!\u201d She shoved him away. \u201cI said say something horrible. I never told you to lie.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t ever tell a woman that she\u2019s fat! No matter what. Don\u2019t you know anything about women?\u201d She returned to studying her reflection. She lifted her nightshirt, pulling it tight wasn\u2019t giving her a good enough view.<\/p>\n
Angel gulped as blue lace panties appeared. Her hips swiveled giving him different angles to admire, each one making his pants fit a little tighter. His hands reached out, sometimes seeing was something that needed to be done with the hands rather than the eyes.<\/p>\n
She dropped her nightshirt in place before he could reach his goal. \u201cI can\u2019t believe you called my ass fat! You\u2019re such a jerk.\u201d Cordelia pushed past him and stomped into her closet.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou told me to say something horrible.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes horrible not hateful, you big jerk.\u201d<\/p>\n
He heard her move away into her bathroom so he went into closet. \u201cYou said you wanted me to act like a jerk and it wasn\u2019t hateful. I know what hateful is.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFine. Is hurtful better?\u201d<\/p>\n
He heard the shower start. \u201cI\u2019m sorry. I wasn\u2019t trying to hurt you.\u201d The sound of the spray changed. \u201cWhat was I supposed to say?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
He opened the door and stepped inside. \u201cI said what was I supposed to say?\u201d He could almost see her silhouette through the shower curtain. \u201cGive me an example of horrible.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou could have said I had horrible morning breath or my faded Tweety Bird nightshirt is about as sexy as a burlap sack or my bed-hair could pass for a rats\u2019 nest.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThose are horrible and not hurtful?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes. They\u2019re non-flattering comments on a totally superficial level. They are all easily remedied. I can go brush my teeth or burn my nightshirt or go brush my hair. The size of my ass is a different story. My insults are mood killers and yours earns you a severe beating followed by a lifetime of cold showers.\u201d She turned off the water and reached out for a towel.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy insults make a person feel embarrassed for a minute and yours make a person feel insecure for like ever, you big jerk.\u201d She wrapped the towel around her body and opened the curtain.<\/p>\n
Angel watched her brush her teeth in jerky movements. He wondered how she kept her towel in place. His hands itched to test its security.<\/p>\n
She yanked her hair tie out and harshly ran a brush through it. \u201cI\u2019m not going to be able to eat another dessert for at least a week.\u201d<\/p>\n
He took the brush from her and began brushing her hair gently. \u201cI told you I didn\u2019t mean it. You have a beautiful body.\u201d He placed a kiss on her bare shoulder. \u201cI don\u2019t think any part of your body is fat and technically I never said that. I said..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRepeat it and you will suffer a horrible excruciating death.\u201d<\/p>\n
He trailed kisses along her neck. \u201cIf it\u2019s any consolation, I am suffering right now. It\u2019s killing me not to unwrap you.\u201d His knuckles teased the edge of her towel.<\/p>\n
\u201cHmm I can feel you but I can\u2019t see you.\u201d<\/p>\n
He followed her gaze. Her eyes stared into the mirror that only reflected her image. \u201cVampire.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know. I can see the plus sides of no reflection. I\u2019ve watched my mother and her friends fear aging, fear their reflection. I\u2019ve seen girls obsess over how they look. I\u2019ve been one of them. I still am, although not as much as I used to be. I\u2019ve known some who hated what they saw so much they didn\u2019t want to look again. Never aging, never gaining weight, never changing, there are some that would do anything for that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s overrated.\u201d He turned her to face him. \u201cDon\u2019t ever wish..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t. I\u2019m very much in love with living. I\u2019d rather deal with my insecurities than disappear. I made a girl disappear once. She faded away.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt took everyone not seeing her for that to happen. That and the power of the hellmouth.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah but I was the worst. That\u2019s why she hated me so much.\u201d She twisted so she could look into the mirror. \u201cI can see the downside too. Not seeing yourself, over time you must start to forget what you look like. It\u2019s got to be like that whole if a tree falls in the forest and no one\u2019s there to hear it thing. You\u2019d start to question your existence, are you really there if no one can see you?\u201d She turned back to him.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut you\u2019re probably too smart to think like that. I mean you know you\u2019re there. I know you are.\u201d Her arms snaked around his neck. \u201cI feel you. I don\u2019t need a reflection to know you\u2019re there.\u201d She lifted her arm. \u201cI get goosebumps when you\u2019re nearby.\u201d She placed his hand over her heart.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy heart starts racing when you\u2019re there.\u201d She decided to lighten the mood. \u201cThen you open your mouth and I know you are definitely there, that and you\u2019re a big jerk.\u201d A warm smile light up her face.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy, I..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut if you kiss me right now, all will be forgiven.\u201d<\/p>\n
He captured her smile with his. Before the kiss could deepen, he pulled away. \u201cYou need to get dressed now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHuh?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t kiss you while you\u2019re standing there in nothing but a towel.\u201d His hands gripped her hips. The towel loosened a little but didn\u2019t fall. \u201cI want to unwrap you.\u201d Blunt teeth nibbled on her collarbone.<\/p>\n
His hands slid down to her bare thighs and started inching up under her towel. She pressed her hips into his. He clenched his hands into fists. \u201cYou need to get dressed now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her breath came out in pants. \u201cOK but I expect a proper kiss afterwards or you\u2019re still a big jerk.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel clutched the counter as she disappeared into her closet. He was tempted to take another cold shower. \u201cI am way too old to be mature.\u201d He settled for pacing the length of her bedroom.<\/p>\n
The best course of action would be to go downstairs while the house was still quiet but he couldn\u2019t deny Cordelia her proper kiss. Truth be told he couldn\u2019t deny himself either.<\/p>\n
The moment she exited her closet she found his lips on hers. She squeaked in surprise. His tongue plunged in, happily taking advantage of her parted lips. She suddenly felt the wall hard against her back.<\/p>\n
Her nails clung to the nape of his neck, clawing his flesh as they tried to devour each other. Her need for air eventually forced her head to turn.<\/p>\n
He began kissing and nibbling on her neck.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe should go downstairs.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMm hmm.\u201d His hands gripped her hips keeping them locked to his.<\/p>\n
\u201cNew game plan, Xander and I go\u2026 Don\u2019t growl until you heard my plan. Xander and I go out this afternoon and we have our talk. Willow and Oz can go do\u2026 whatever it is they do. Buffy can stay here with you and you can have your talk. Then tonight we..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe can make love before we spontaneously combust?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know you could take me out on a date. I\u2019m not just some..\u201d<\/p>\n
He stopped her words with a kiss. \u201cI\u2019m not good with public places.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPfft. So what? I\u2019m not expecting you to socialize with strangers. I\u2019m asking for dinner or something like that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can do that. How about I take you to Antonio\u2019s for some pasta?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2026 you remember that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course. You said Antonio\u2019s has the best pasta. We can go somewhere else if you want. I don\u2019t really know the best places to eat.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI love you.\u201d She gently brushed her lips to his. \u201cNo one ever really listens when I talk.\u201d She lightly tugged on his lower lip before leaning in and kissing him.<\/p>\n
He pulled away, his eyes dark. \u201cNew game plan, we stay up here and pretend they\u2019re not here. We can barricade the door just in case.\u201d He nuzzled her neck. \u201cYou smell so delicious.\u201d His tongue darted out tasting her.<\/p>\n
She bared her neck giving his wandering lips more skin to explore. \u201cWe could use my desk to block the door.\u201d His deep laugh vibrated through her body.<\/p>\n
\u201cI better get downstairs before I lose what\u2019s left of my control. Tonight I will take you out on our first official date.\u201d He stared at her swollen lips. \u201cHow do you feel about kissing on a first date?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAs a rule, I\u2019m against it but there is an exception to every rule.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd do you think tonight might qualify?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt might.\u201d Her brow scrunched in thought. \u201cDo you even have money?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause if I have to pay I expect a whole helluva lot more than a kiss. For an expensive dinner at Antonio\u2019s, a guy really should put out.\u201d<\/p>\n
He smiled at her cheeky grin. \u201cI am running a little low on cash.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNice try. You already said you had money so you\u2019re buying.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt really should work both ways. For an expensive dinner at Antonio\u2019s, a girl really should put out.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry. It doesn\u2019t work that way. You see guys are easy. Women need to be treated with respect.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUh huh. What if I throw in dessert?\u201d<\/p>\n
An eyebrow shot up. \u201cAre you sure my ass can take it?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel lifted his head from her neck. \u201cI said I was sorry. You said I would be forgiven if I kissed you.\u201d His hands slipped around her to grab the butt in question. \u201cYou have a beautiful body.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow can you say that? You haven\u2019t even seen it yet. I mean there\u2019s only so much you can tell when I\u2019m fully dressed.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI wouldn\u2019t call you in bikini fully dressed\u2026 but you may have a valid point.\u201d<\/p>\n
She nodded. \u201cIn order to get your informed opinion, I would have to allow you to see me completely naked.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell we really should settle this once and for all.\u201d His hands reached for buttons only to be smacked away.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou haven\u2019t bought me dinner yet.\u201d She gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek. \u201cWe should go downstairs.\u201d<\/p>\n
He sighed dramatically. \u201cYou will be the death of me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re already dead.\u201d She reached for the door. \u201cDon\u2019t pout. This is killing me too.\u201d She opened it and spied Buffy approaching. She shoved Angel behind the door. \u201cHey Buffy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHey. I was just going to wake Angel up. Willow and Oz are getting ready to make breakfast. I know he doesn\u2019t eat but I thought he might like to join us anyway.\u201d She noticed Cordelia fidgeting in her doorway. \u201cXander is getting dressed right now and then he was going to get you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOK. Umm Angel is probably still sleeping. He likes to sleep in.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks for the tip.\u201d Buffy knocked on his door.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s a really sound sleeper. I tried to wake him yesterday. I yelled and everything. He sleeps\u2026 like the dead.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sure he\u2019ll wake up when he hears it\u2019s my voice. No offense.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNone taken.\u201d Cordy placed one hand on her hip while the other held her door open blocking Angel from view. \u201cGo ahead.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel, it\u2019s me.\u201d She knocked a little louder and tried the doorknob. \u201cAngel?\u201d She cleared her throat. \u201cHe\u2019s probably in the shower or something.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUh huh\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell are you coming down?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIn a minute. I still haven\u2019t put my makeup on. I\u2019m not used to having houseguests.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel has been here for days.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s different.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTrue. He doesn\u2019t care what you look like. You should work fast. Breakfast will be ready soon and you know how Xander is around food.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI will.\u201d She shut her door.<\/p>\n
Angel glared at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat? She\u2019s your girlfriend. It\u2019s your job to feel guilty about her. I\u2019ll feel guilty about Xander.\u201d He continued to glare at her. \u201cIt\u2019s not like you\u2019re being nice to Xander and not beating him up doesn\u2019t count as being nice.\u201d He continued to glare. \u201cI can\u2019t help it. She pushes my buttons. You knew that when you fell in love with me.\u201d She tried to avoid his glare.<\/p>\n
\u201cFine. I\u2019m sorry. Why don\u2019t you go chase after her?\u201d She didn\u2019t see his expression soften. \u201cYou can tell her you were in the shower and didn\u2019t hear her. I need to finish getting ready. I can\u2019t believe you were going to let me go downstairs without any makeup on.\u201d He was smiling at her when she finally looked at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou look beautiful. You don\u2019t need all that stuff.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re getting better at this already.\u201d<\/p>\n
~ Ring! ~<\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cYou go downstairs. I\u2019ll be there in a few minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOK.\u201d This time Angel listened for heartbeats before opening the door.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Cordelia walked into her crowded kitchen. \u201cGood morning.\u201d<\/p>\n
Xander walked up and kissed her cheek. \u201cWhat took you so long?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry. I was talking to Giles.\u201d She turned to the room but purposely avoided Angel\u2019s annoyed gaze. \u201cGiles wanted to make sure we understood our day off was yesterday and therefore over. He expects us in the library in one hour.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat about Angel? The sun is shining.\u201d Buffy inched closer to the vampire in question.<\/p>\n
\u201cGiles told me to call Oz and ask him to pick Angel up in his van. He can pull into the garage. With a blanket, Angel will be perfectly safe. The loading dock at the school has a carport. Giles was prepared for any and all excuses. No one is getting out of research duty.\u201d She accepted a plate from Oz. \u201cDid you just sniff me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry. Tonight\u2019s the night before the full moon. My senses kick into overdrive. You smell different, almost like..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThese pancakes are delicious.\u201d Cordelia\u2019s voice was almost shrill. She glanced down at her shirt. \u201cI don\u2019t want to make a mess. Angel did such a good job on my laundry. He was handling my clothes in Anita\u2019s absence.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou made Angel do your laundry?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s the big deal, Buffy? I am letting him stay at my house rent free. He\u2019s the reason I gave Anita time off. There\u2019s nothing wrong with him making himself useful.\u201d She moved away from Oz\u2019s nose. \u201cIt\u2019s not like I had him hand washing my unmentionables.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe better not. I\u2019m the only guy allowed to handle your underwear.\u201d Xander looked around at the staring faces. \u201cI said that aloud, didn\u2019t I?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia rolled her eyes. She cautioned a glance at Angel. She couldn\u2019t tell what his stormy expression meant. Their break-up plans had to be pushed back, Xander had kissed her cheek and voiced his underwear rights, Oz may have smelled Angel\u2019s scent on her, and she\u2019d talked to Giles on the phone for about twenty minutes. Angel did not look like a happy camper.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Angel was NOT happy. Not only were their plans ruined, he was in the back of Oz\u2019s van with Buffy while Xander was alone with Cordelia in her car. He considered using the drive as an opportunity to have his talk with Buffy, since Willow and Oz were upfront listening to the radio but she deserved better.<\/p>\n
It would have to wait a little longer. He wanted to hope Cordelia was busy ending her relationship with Xander during their car ride but he knew it was unlikely. Their first date was in serious danger of not happening. *And how the hell does it take Giles twenty minutes to say come to the library?*<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you okay under there?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d He adjusted his blanket. He didn\u2019t really need to cover himself quite so much. There was only a little bit of light coming in, but he wanted some privacy to brood. The best he could hope for was to spend his evening with Buffy and have their talk. A pang of guilt raced through his system. He owed his first love more than a \u201ccan we still be friends\u201d speech in the back of a van or in a crowded library. He wanted to ease the hurt but how?<\/p>\n
No matter where they talked she was still going to be hurt. Did where really matter? As long as they had privacy, where didn\u2019t really matter. Of course if she got angry he might be tossed out of the moving vehicle and into a bright sunny California day. The library didn\u2019t seem right either. It was her safe haven. They could go for a walk once the sun set. It was familiar to them and afterwards she could take out her anger on a random vampire.<\/p>\n
That being settled, in his mind at any rate, it didn\u2019t solve the dilemma for the rest of the evening. Taking Cordelia out to dinner wouldn\u2019t work. By the time he finished talking to Buffy and Cordelia finished sending Xander packing, it would be rather late for dinner. Not to mention the emotional toll their respective talks would take.<\/p>\n
Going out might have to wait. He wasn\u2019t sure if he could handle spending another chaste night in her arms. He didn\u2019t want his lack of restraint to hurt her. She wanted a romantic evening. Trying to squeeze in a quick dinner before returning home for sex would hardly be romantic but waiting another night sounded like absolute torture and not the good kind.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry we couldn\u2019t spend the afternoon alone. We may still get to do something tonight. Giles tends to get a little annoyed when we try to skip out so we can have some fun. He doesn\u2019t fully appreciate the importance of our social lives. We could say we\u2019re going to patrol. I mean you are still stronger than Xander.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cActually that sounds like a good idea. We can talk.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTalk? Oh right. I think that would be great. We could even stop by the mansion for some privacy.\u201d Buffy smiled at her blanket covered boyfriend.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe need to talk about our relationship.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her smile faded. That usually meant something bad. \u201cOK.\u201d<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Cordelia glanced around the unusually crowded table. She was sitting in between Xander and Angel. Oz and Willow sat across from her. Buffy sat at the end near Angel and Wesley was on the other. Giles seemed content to hover around the group passing out books, looking over peoples\u2019 shoulders and answering questions. She was amazed at Angel\u2019s audacity.<\/p>\n
Not only was he sitting beside her, he had his hand on her knee. She was afraid Giles might notice but the watcher was too distracted and the table blocked anyone else\u2019s view. She jumped out of her seat when Xander\u2019s hand found its way onto her other leg. \u201cA book!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGood lord, Cordelia. You nearly gave me a heart attack.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry Wesley. I umm need a new book.\u201d<\/p>\n
Giles started to hand her another from the stack but stopped. \u201cYou\u2019re only halfway through the one you have.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI am? I am but it\u2019s really boring and I want another.\u201d Her smile was a little shaky.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry if it\u2019s not to your liking but it cannot be overlooked simply because you\u2019re bored.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah you\u2019re right.\u201d She ignored Buffy rolling her eyes and sat back down.<\/p>\n
Xander patted her thigh. \u201cI\u2019ll switch with you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks.\u201d He left his hand on her leg. \u201cI need a soda.\u201d She started to rise until Willow passed her a coke. \u201cUh no. I want a diet.\u201d She started to rise again until Oz handed her a diet soda. \u201cOh. Thanks.\u201d Xander\u2019s hand returned to her leg.<\/p>\n
She worried her lower lip trying not to scream. She was doing okay until Angel\u2019s hand returned as well. She shot out of her chair. \u201cI have to go to the bathroom.\u201d Everyone stared at her like she\u2019d lost her mind. She blushed in embarrassment. \u201cI\u2019ll be back.\u201d She hurried out of the room.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s her problem?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know, Buff. I stopped trying to figure out my girlfriend a long time ago.\u201d<\/p>\n
Everyone resumed reading in her absence except Angel. He stared at the door wondering what had her so flustered. She had jumped up when he touched her. Was she angry with him? No one questioned him when he rose from the table. He stood at the counter for a few moments watching the group before slipping out of the library.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Cordelia took her time walking back. She was trying to think of a way to change seats with Angel without causing a stir. She yelped when she was suddenly pulled into a storage closet. \u201cXander! I am so not\u2026 Angel?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy did you assume I was Xander?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo reason. So what did you want to talk about? Wait a minute what excuse did you use to leave?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t. I just left. They don\u2019t usually pay attention to my comings and goings. You didn\u2019t answer my question.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat question?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy did you assume I was Xander?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh. We sort of have a history of.. making out in closets. It\u2019s no big deal.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel clenched his jaw. \u201cI am not going to get angry.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cExcuse me? Like you and Buffy didn\u2019t spend your nights making out in the cemetery? He\u2019s my boyfriend and I didn\u2019t do anything wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s your soon to be ex-boyfriend and I wasn\u2019t.. I didn\u2019t mean\u2026 I\u2019m sorry. I can\u2019t stand the thought of him touching you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI understand. I don\u2019t exactly like the thought of you and Buffy either.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s not talk about them. What was wrong before? You practically ran out of there. You\u2019re not mad at me, are you? You practically jumped out of your skin when I touched you. You didn\u2019t react like that the first time I put my hand there. I was even being good. I didn\u2019t go any higher than just above your knee.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPromise not to get mad.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI hate when someone says that. What?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou haven\u2019t promised yet.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI promise.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOK. It wasn\u2019t you that made me freak out. I jumped up the first time because Xander put his hand on my leg too.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou promised. I mean he\u2019s my boyfriend. He usually has his hand on my thigh while we\u2019re researching. It never used to bother me but everything is different now. I don\u2019t want him touching me like that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou didn\u2019t stop him from kissing you this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t have a chance to stop him. He doesn\u2019t know I\u2019m a horrible person yet. He doesn\u2019t know that I\u2019m going to break up with him. There I was between the two of you and I freaked.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s almost over. You\u2019re breaking up with Xander tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s if Giles lets us go.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe will. We are having our talks tonight. We decided.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia rested her cheek on his chest. \u201cSo much for our game plan. We\u2019ll never be able to have dinner at Antonio\u2019s now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019ll go there tomorrow night.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah but\u2026 You know what? I don\u2019t need dinner for tonight to be special. It\u2019s special because I\u2019m with you.\u201d She lifted her head and met his gaze. \u201cOur first time together is special because I\u2019m in love with you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m in love with you too.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt could be in this closet and it would still be perfect.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIn that case..\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t even think about it. I\u2019m holding onto my control by my fingertips. We will have our talks and then when we get home..\u201d She pulled his head down for a quick kiss.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow we better get back before they start wondering what happened to us. The last thing we need is a showdown in the library. When they finally talk about us, I\u2019d like to be as far away as possible. I almost told Giles this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIs that why you were on the phone so long?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. We talked about other things.\u201d She carefully peeked out into the hallway before exiting.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe and I have this unspoken rule. I don\u2019t force him to choose sides. Whenever Buffy and I bicker which happens often, he tells us both to stop. I may make comments about her but I never bring him into our arguments. He thinks of her as a surrogate daughter. He wants me to be happy but he couldn\u2019t keep a secret like us from Buffy. She would view it as a betrayal.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd that\u2019s okay with you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s his priority. A parent should place his or her child first. I wasn\u2019t really looking for his support about us. I just hate the idea of him being mad at me. He tends to view people who hurt Buffy as his enemy. I don\u2019t want to lose his friendship.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd if you do?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel, I love Giles but I\u2019m certainly not going to give you up for anything.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCould you add a like to that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou love Giles like?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you think we should go in separately?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. They know we\u2019re friends and they\u2019re going to have to get used to seeing us together anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI seriously doubt that will ever happen.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen to hell with them.\u201d The two entered the library side by side.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere did you go?\u201d Buffy glared at the pair.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wanted to see if Cordelia was all right.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think she\u2019s old enough to go to the bathroom by herself.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe was acting strange and I was concerned. Excuse me for being the only one to care.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you alright, Cordelia?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m fine, Giles. I think the books were making me go a little stir crazy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Buffy continued to stare at Angel. He seemed annoyed. Her earlier bad feeling returned. He was acting different. He no longer seemed overly concerned with her. She had always been his main concern but now he had his friendship with Cordelia.<\/p>\n
She suddenly felt less disappointed in the recent turn of events. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Angel, but our plans for tonight have gone out the window.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGiles and Wesley have barely slept and someone needs to stay here with Oz tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel didn\u2019t want to have their talk in the library but he would if he had too. \u201cI could keep you company for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cActually I\u2019m the one who can hang out with you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHuh?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSince I have to patrol and we all have school tomorrow, Giles wanted you to stay here tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019ll come in before sunrise so you won\u2019t be stuck here all day again.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia felt like all the air had been sucked from the room. \u201cSo you want Angel to spend the night here? All night?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes. I believe we can entrust him with the task.\u201d Giles managed to make eye contact with Angel.<\/p>\n
*Damn! Giles had to choose tonight to start trusting me.* \u201cI can do that.\u201d *Noooo! Don\u2019t make me stay here!*<\/p>\n
Cordelia tried not to cry out in frustration. *I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not kill Giles either.*<\/p>\n