Part 4<\/b><\/p>\n
The Present\u2026<\/p>\n
Angel watched woman and child sing and laugh for a long, endless moment. Until the sight of them, so happy just being together, was almost painful.<\/p>\n
Finally, he left the suite as quietly as he\u2019d arrived.<\/p>\n
Still with no desire to return to his room, he decided to investigate the rest of the hotel.<\/p>\n
The dark, deserted hallways weren\u2019t so different from the cemeteries of Sunnydale. When memories drove him out of the mansion, or when he and Buffy managed to hurt each other yet again, he would prowl the graveyards for hours, walking the night away. Swimming in a sea of thoughts and doubts.<\/p>\n
Eventually, Angel found a room that looked far worse than any other in the hotel. It looked like it had suffered an earthquake the rest of the hotel had somehow escaped, perched on the top floor like a wounded thing,<\/p>\n
Angel went to the window and gazed up at the moon. But, in his mind\u2019s eye, he saw the nursery.<\/p>\n
Cordelia Chase. The same girl he knew back in Sunnydale. And, yet, so different.<\/p>\n
He had gone for years, decades, without changing. Well, except to become more withdrawn, more isolated, more torn by guilt. Not change. Just more of the same.<\/p>\n
Change was\u2026hard for him. Even three years after leaving the gutters of New York to help the Slayer in Sunnydale, he hadn\u2019t changed all that much. He still spent most of his time alone, in the shadows. Avoided humanity whenever possible. Was uneasy when he had to deal with someone face-to-face. Even Buffy, sometimes.<\/p>\n
And, yet, look at Cordelia. In just three years, she had changed from a spoiled, self-centered, insensitive girl into a woman who\u2026<\/p>\n
Into a *woman*. A woman with warm, hazel eyes. A compassionate woman, who had reached out to him not once, but twice. A woman who found joy in spending time with a baby.<\/p>\n
He hadn\u2019t realized it at the time. But, when he\u2019d talked to her, his confusion, his disorientation, had eased a little. He\u2019d felt better\u2026for those few moments.<\/p>\n
It was hard to believe that the girl who passed out insults with absent-minded cruelty had become such a\u2026soothing presence.<\/p>\n
Which didn\u2019t answer the most puzzling question.<\/p>\n
What was she doing here, in LA? With\u2026him?<\/p>\n
In Sunnydale, they barely knew each other. Once she gave up on flirting with him, they rarely spoke. They could be in the same room, and not exchange a single word.<\/p>\n
So what had changed? How had she ended up working with him? Taking care of his son?<\/p>\n
Angel shook his head in frustration. More questions that didn\u2019t have answers.<\/p>\n
Angel explored the old hotel for another hour or so. Then, he headed back towards his room.<\/p>\n
\u201cOw!\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel paused, startled by the sound of his own voice.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel! Sit still and stop being a baby!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not being a baby. But that hurt!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, please. I barely touched you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel stepped forward, careful not to leave the shadows. Curious, he studied the scene below.<\/p>\n
The lobby had filled up in the last few hours. Everyone was there.<\/p>\n
Wesley sat behind the counter, four more books spread before him. Fred sat next to him, staring intently at a lap top.<\/p>\n
Gunn was playing a video game. He seemed oblivious to what was going on in the rest of the room.<\/p>\n
The Other sat on the sofa, shirtless. Cordelia, a first-aid kit open at her side, dabbed at a gash on his shoulder with a cotton ball.<\/p>\n
Fred cast worried glance at the gash. \u201cDoes it hurt a lot, Angel?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes,\u201d the vampire said.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d Cordelia said at the same time.<\/p>\n
He gave her a look. \u201cI think I know whether it hurts or not, Cordy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPfft. It\u2019s just a scratch. Barely deserves a bandage.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou call *this* a scratch?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell,\u201d Wesley contributed, \u201ccompared to wounds you\u2019ve suffered in the past, this one *is* rather\u2026unimpressive.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd, it probably looks worse than it is,\u201d Gunn added over the bleeps and blips of his game. \u201cSo I\u2019m thinkin\u2019 it can\u2019t be all that bad.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks, guys,\u201d the Other grumbled.<\/p>\n
\u201cPerfectly alright.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo problem, bruh.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia shook her head. \u201cAngel, you\u2019re just lucky you don\u2019t scar easily, or you\u2019d be a mess. I swear, this is like a bad habit with you. Can\u2019t fight the darkness without getting a gaping wound as a souvenir.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell,\u201d Fred said, \u201csince you won\u2019t let him collect heads anymore, maybe\u2026<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s not like I got hurt on purpose,\u201d the Other interrupted.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah? Well, I notice Wesley and Gunn manage not to get sliced-and-diced every case,\u201d Cordelia pointed out.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s cause I\u2019m the man,\u201d Gunn said. \u201cAnd Wesley\u2019s got luck on his side.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you, Gunn,\u201d the Englishman drawled.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, I\u2019m the one who usually gets to go hand-to-hand against the big nasties,\u201d the Other said.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s true,\u201d Cordelia conceded. \u201cBut you\u2019d think that, with all the practice you get, you\u2019d be better at the demon fighting thing.\u201d She grinned. \u201cWhat? Getting slow in your old age? Those reflexes not as sharp as when you were 150?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia,\u201d the vampire said, a warning growl just below the surface.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo wonder I kicked your butt,\u201d she continued smugly.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou kicked Angel\u2019s butt?\u201d Fred leaned forward, a delighted smile on her face. \u201cAngel, Cordelia kicked your butt? Because you\u2019re a really good fighter, and if Cordelia can kick your butt\u2026<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Fred.\u201d The image of injured pride, he sat up straighter in his seat. \u201cCordy did *not* kick my butt.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh?\u201d Cordelia asked. \u201cSo that wasn\u2019t you I knocked on your ass yesterday? That wasn\u2019t you I disarmed during the sword training portion of our fun afternoon?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, well\u2026\u201d he sank back into his seat. \u201cThat doesn\u2019t qualify as kicking my butt.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhatever you say.\u201d She taped a bandage over the now-clean gash. \u201cThere you are. Good as new. And stop pouting. I mean, it\u2019s cute and all, but\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not pouting,\u201d the other said. But, even as he spoke, a smile began to form on his lips.<\/p>\n
And so it continued. The five of them talked and teased. Gentle insults filled the room. Along with occasional laughter.<\/p>\n
Cordelia went behind the desk. It looked like she was organizing files.<\/p>\n
The Other wandered over to Gunn.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, is that new?\u201d he asked. And, within moments, he was playing the video game. Gunn watched over his shoulder, yelling out advice.<\/p>\n
Angel studied his future self. He seemed so\u2026at ease with all of these people. And they, knowing exactly what he was, seemed to be at ease with *him*. They were\u2026his friends.<\/p>\n
Frowning, Angel thought about his life. Before Sunnydale, he rarely came into contact with people. Those decades were a blur of faces, very few clear in his memory.<\/p>\n
Sunnydale was the first time he\u2019d had extended contact with the same people in decades. But, after over two years, could any of them\u2014Giles, Xander, Willow, Oz\u2014be called friends?<\/p>\n
Willow was kind, but he knew he made her nervous. Oz was accepting by nature, but still a stranger. Giles had somehow found the strength to tolerate his presence, but there was an understandable tension between them. And Xander didn\u2019t bother to hide his dislike.<\/p>\n
No. They weren\u2019t his friends. He\u2019d die for any of them\u2026because Buffy loved them. And they\u2019d all risked their lives for him\u2026because Buffy loved *him*. But they weren\u2019t his friends.<\/p>\n
As he watched the scene below, he suddenly felt wistful. Longing for something he never knew he wanted.<\/p>\n
Angel started to turn away. Then, he saw that his twin\u2019s attention was no longer on the video game. He was watching\u2026Cordelia. His eyes followed her from her desk, to the filing cabinet, back again. A smile curved his lips.<\/p>\n
He looked like he\u2019d be content to watch her for hours.<\/p>\n
Angel frowned. That hint of a suspicion that had formed earlier took shape.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, Angel!\u201d Gunn exclaimed.<\/p>\n
The Other acted like he\u2019d been snapped out of a dream. \u201cUh, what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s my turn, man.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, yeah. Right.\u201d He handed over the game. And his eyes went right back to Cordelia.<\/p>\n
\u201cEnjoying the show.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel spun around. Behind him stood a tall, green demon with read eyes and horns.<\/p>\n
Instinctively, he took up a fighting stance.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey,\u201d the demon whispered, alarmed. \u201cPut the fists away before you hurt somebody.\u201d<\/p>\n
Realizing the demon didn\u2019t seem the least bit threatening, Angel relaxed. A little.<\/p>\n
\u201cWho are you?\u201d he demanded.<\/p>\n
\u201cHouseguest, nanny, fabulous singer, and former host of the best little karaoke bar in town.\u201d He grinned affably. \u201cBut you can call me Lorne.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLorne.\u201d The name sounded familiar. \u201cUncle Lorne?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, you\u2019ve heard of me.\u201d The demon puffed out his chest. \u201cI *am* worthy of discussion. You\u2019re a topic of conversation yourself. Sorry we couldn\u2019t meet and greet before now, sweet cheeks. I was spending a little fun time with a specka demon when you made your grand entrance. Kind of lost track of time.\u201d And he laughed.<\/p>\n
Angel didn\u2019t know what to make of this creature. He was used to demons either trying to kill him, or quaking in fear when he walked by. \u2018Friendly\u2019 wasn\u2019t the response he usually got.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo,\u201d Lorne continued. \u201cWhat peaked your interest, pumpkin?\u201d<\/p>\n
Of their own volition, Angel\u2019s eyes returned to his twin. The man had picked up a book and taken a seat in a chair. But it was plain to see that his attention wasn\u2019t on the words on the page.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, you noticed that, too?\u201d Lorne asked. \u201cIt *is* pretty obvious.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel started shaking his head before the demon stopped talking. \u201cNo. There\u2019s someone\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t I know it,\u201d Lorne interrupted. \u201cYou may be a little too closed off for me to get a good read without a tune. But *that* particular emotion is on full display, lambkins. She\u2019s so deep in you, I can almost see her standing there at your side. It\u2019d be spooky\u201d\u2014he provided a shiver to illustrate his point\u2014\u201cif I didn\u2019t know it was your heart sending out echoes.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel didn\u2019t bother to question that. Just looked back at the scene below. Cordelia had gone to sit next to his twin. The two were lost in some quiet, private conversation. \u201cI don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n
Lorne\u2019s smile was knowing. \u201cIt\u2019s three years later, angel eyes. Things change.\u201d<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Angel had just laid down, ready to sleep despite the thoughts swirling around in his brain, when he heard voices outside the door.<\/p>\n
\u201cGet in there.\u201d An exasperated hiss.<\/p>\n
Angel frowned. That was Cordelia.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. I don\u2019t know why I have to\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
His own voice.<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause you probably hurt his feelings and scarred him for life,\u201d Cordelia whispered. \u201cI think you need to talk to\u2026yourself.\u201d She giggled. \u201cAnd doesn\u2019t *that* sound weird? Anyway, get\u2026in\u2026there!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy *not*, Angel?\u201d Exasperated. Again. \u201cI mean, I know this is a weird situation. But a psychiatrist could have a field day with you right now. You not liking an identical version of yourself. I bet Fraud would come back from the dead for this one. Which we both know could happen.\u201d<\/p>\n
A lengthy pause, followed by a deep sigh.<\/p>\n
\u201cRemember what you were like back in Sunnydale?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI kind of lived it, you know?\u201d Cordelia said. \u201cSo, yeah.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, what if the girl you *were* suddenly showed up in your apartment tomorrow morning?\u201d<\/p>\n
A thoughtful silence.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhoa! Faith would probably end up with a new cellmate. And prison orange is *so* not my color.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cExactly.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut come on, Angel. He hasn\u2019t done anything to make you all\u2026homicidal.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. But he\u2019s a past I try not to\u2026think about too often. It\u2019s hard to explain. But seeing him makes me\u2026angry. I don\u2019t even know why. Maybe it\u2019s because I know all the crap he\u2019s going to pull. All the people he\u2019s going to hurt. And I know I won\u2019t feel *right* again until he\u2019s gone.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel stood up and walked towards the door. That Fred girl was right. You didn\u2019t hear good things about yourself when you were eavesdropping.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell,\u201d Cordelia began. \u201cI guess it doesn\u2019t matter now, but\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel opened the door.<\/p>\n
The couple turned to stare at him. Cordelia looked slightly embarrassed, like she\u2019d been caught at something. His twin just stood there, stoic and silent.<\/p>\n
\u201cUm, hi,\u201d Cordelia began. \u201cUh, we just\u2026came to tell you th-that Wesley thinks he knows how to get you\u2026back where you belong. Isn\u2019t that great!\u201d<\/p>\n
Giving that a second to sink in, Angel nodded. \u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, let\u2019s go!\u201d And the young woman turned and hurried down the hall.<\/p>\n
After pausing to stare at each other for a few seconds longer, the two Angels followed.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you sure this will work?\u201d Cordelia asked. Drawing a final symbol on the floor, she stood up and wiped the chalk off of her hands. \u201cIt sounds iffy to me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, not at all,\u201d Wesley said, walking across the training room. \u201cIt\u2019s the same reversal spell Mr. Giles used. We\u2019ll just be using something very similar to a portal\u2014only much less powerful\u2014to return Angel\u2019s mind *and* body to the past.\u201d He turned toward Angel. \u201cIf you\u2019ll just stand in there.\u201d<\/p>\n
Nodding, Angel stepped into the chalk-drawn circle. He looked around the room. At all the people who would become an important part of his life. In the not-too-distant future.<\/p>\n
Wesley started to read the spell.<\/p>\n
And that same, sickly green light seemed to fall on Angel. Like a terrible weight crashing from the sky.<\/p>\n
Shocked by the suddenness of it, by the pain and nausea that seemed to consume every cell, he groaned and slammed to his knees\u2026<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
The Past\u2026<\/p>\n
Angel woke with a start. To find his face pressed against dew-dampened grass.<\/p>\n
Moaning, he sat up and looked around the clearing. The last thing he remembered was\u2026throwing his dagger at the demons head, and a wave of sickly green light.<\/p>\n
He had a strange feeling their should be more. But didn\u2019t know what.<\/p>\n
Standing, he went to where the demon\u2019s victim lay. And wasn\u2019t really surprised that the boy was dead.<\/p>\n
\u201cToo late,\u201d Angel muttered, adding it to a long list of regrets.<\/p>\n
He also regretted that he would have to leave the body where it was. It seemed\u2026disrespectful somehow.<\/p>\n
But the boy would be found in the morning. His parents would know what happened to him, and not spend years trapped in a limbo between hope and grief.<\/p>\n
Angel found his dagger lying in a patch of scorched grass. Not much of a surprise either. When a demon put out that kind of energy when it died, you could usually count on there not being much of its body left.<\/p>\n
Angel wondered if the light might have any lasting effects on him. For a moment, he considered asking Giles what kind of demon it had been.<\/p>\n
But, no. Things were strained between them. And would probably always would be. It was best to keep his distance. Unless they needed his help.<\/p>\n
With one last look around the area, Angel left the clearing.<\/p>\n
He was almost to the mansion when he realized he felt\u2026different. That oppressive weight that was always pressing against his heart had eased. A little.<\/p>\n
Usually, on these walks, he had nothing but dark memories to keep him company. But tonight, for some reason, and even though he usually didn\u2019t think too far ahead, he found himself wondering.<\/p>\n
What would his life be like in two or three years?<\/p>\n
The End<\/b><\/p>\n