Part 2<\/b><\/p>\n
In all his years Angel had never felt this nervous. He wasn’t accustomed to the feeling, powerful, yes, malevolently evil, sure, guilty, this is <\/i>Angel we’re talking about. But nervous…not so much. Back in the day he and Darla had cut a bloody path through Europe, he’d destroyed families, brought entire towns to their knees with fear, revelled in pain and bathed in blood. He’d seen everything, done everything…but the sight of Cordelia Chase sitting with her hands clenched in her lap on his bed was by far the most terrifying thing he’d ever witnessed. Silence reigned supreme in the dimly lit bedroom, only interrupted by the occasional click click of the brunette’s nails tapping sporadically against each other. Angel watched as she skittered her gaze around the room as though it were the first time she’d ever stepped foot in here, he could practically see the waves of nervousness radiating off her body, it should have made him feel a little better that he wasn’t alone with his nerves but it really didn’t.<\/p>\n
God, she looks so tired<\/i> Angel thought guiltily as he watched her fiddle with her rings on her right hand. He remembered the Cordelia Chase that had lived a carefree life in Sunnydale, all lipstick and false smiles, cutting put downs and dismissive glares, his best friend still had the edge that made her who she was but now it was softened by a heart that kept them all safe and warm. The carefree girl had grown to be a woman that none of them could bare to be with out…but she was dying. They’d unknowingly been losing her with every soul they saved and it hurt Angel to his very core that they hadn’t noticed the full extent of her pain. They should have seen what the visions were doing to her, maybe if they had then it wouldn’t have gone this far. Maybe there wouldn’t be dark circles beneath her eyes, maybe the flame inside her that had once lit up their world wouldn’t be slowly dimming, maybe….<\/p>\n
There were too many maybes <\/i>for Angel to handle, followed closely by the shoulds. They should have known, she should have told them. But shoulds weren’t going to keep Cordelia alive and with her family.<\/p>\n
But Angel could.<\/p>\n
And he felt more nervous than a pimply sixteen year old kid.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel stop staring at me, it’s starting to freak me out.\u201d Cordelia snapped at him as she shifted on the bed, her body so tense it looked as though even the gentlest breeze could snap her in two.<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry.\u201d Angel said contritely but didn’t pull her gaze away for her.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe should just get this over with, I don’t intend on sitting here in silence all day, it’s Sunday, my day off. I have things to do.\u201d The brunette said with forced causality as she tossed her short hair over her shoulder.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo do I.\u201d Angel said just so there wouldn’t be that dreadful loaded silence in the room again. It was surely a red letter day, Angel the king of uncomfortable silences filling the gaps.<\/p>\n
\u201cI’m sorry, am I cutting into your sitting in the shadows brooding time?\u201d Cordelia tilted her head as she spoke to him, a slight smile gracing her lips.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou are, it’s vexing.\u201d Angel felt the corners of his mouth tugging up into a smile that only his best friend managed to elicit from him.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, this is going to be difficult to do with you all the way over there and me all the way over here.\u201d She nodded for him to come sit next to her and Angel wondered if maybe she wasn’t as nervous about this as she seemed, which of course made him even more nervous and the thought suddenly dawned on him that he might not actually be able<\/i> to do this.<\/p>\n
Oh god,<\/i> Angel thought, his very male ego panicking, what if I can’t…can’t…<\/i>.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel, stop thinking and come sit down, your making me crazy standing over there looking like you’re doing long division in your head.\u201d Cordelia wrenched him out of his thoughts and for that he was grateful. There was no point worrying about that until it came up. Or didn’t come up as the case may be. Angel swallowed heavily and made his way across the room to where she was sitting on his bed, fingers back to being clenched in her lap, her knuckles white and her back rigid.<\/p>\n
OK, so maybe Cordelia was just as nervous as he was.<\/p>\n
\u201cShould we get undressed?\u201d Cordelia blurted out, scared of that damn silence that was threatening to envelop the world once again.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat’s usually how this goes.\u201d Angel said hesitantly, desperately trying not to figit.<\/p>\n
\u201cOK. Go on then.\u201d She nudged his shoulder with her finger, her eyebrows raised expectantly.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy do I have to go first?\u201d Angel groused like a petulant child just told to go to bed when the sun was still out.<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause you’re the man.\u201d Cordelia rolled her eyes at him, her words slow and patronising, as though he were the only person on earth that wasn’t aware of this piece of before sex etiquette.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy does that make a difference?\u201d The vampire frowned, trying to find some hidden reason why he had to be naked first. Was this some sort of sex fine print that had happened to allude his two hundred and forty six years of experience.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt just does.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat’s not an answer.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy does it matter? I’ve seen you pretty much naked before anyway.\u201d Cordelia said, shrugged and stared at her nails.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat? When?!\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cEr, hello? We lived together for three months, you were forever flouncing around my apartment in a towel and little else. I think you have an exhibitionist streak, which is kinda odd when you think about how much black you wear.\u201d Cordelia said thoughtfully as she momentarily attempted to unravel that conundrum that was Angel.<\/p>\n
\u201cI do not flounce!\u201d Angel yelped indignantly.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh there was definite flouncing.\u201d She scoffed.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou tell me an exact time I flounced and I’ll get naked right now.\u201d He crossed his arms over his chest defiantly.<\/p>\n
\u201cOK, how about the time after that demon with the strange purple flappy thing on his chin stabbed you in the thigh?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe Gorfack?\u201d Angel’s brow furrowed as he tried to remember the demon in question.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat’s the one.\u201d Cordelia nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat wasn’t flouncing, I was in pain. That was me struggling to walk.\u201d Angel nodded smugly. That wasn’t flouncing. He<\/i> didn’t flounce.<\/p>\n
\u201cUh huh, if you say so.\u201d Cordelia said, her tone dripping with disbelief. \u201cLook, strip down to your underwear at least.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can’t do that.\u201d The vampire shook his head.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy not?\u201d The brunette said with exasperation.<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause I’m not wearing underwear.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh.\u201d Cordelia blinked, lost for words for a moment. \u201cDammit Angel why can’t you just wear boxers like every other man on the planet?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI’m not every other man.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIsn’t that glaringly obvious.\u201d She muttered under breath.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre we gonna sit here all day bickering or are we gonna have sex?\u201d Angel sighed and rubbed his hand over his eyes, it was around then that the reality of the situation really kicked in.<\/p>\n
And yep, there was that silence again, it pressed in on the walls and forced the two friends to quickly look away from each other. Cordelia pressed the non existent creases out of her pants while Angel leant his elbows on his knees and found an interesting patch of wall paper to stare at.<\/p>\n
\u201cNever thought I’d hear either of us say that.\u201d Cordelia said quietly, her voice barely a whisper in the horribly loud silence.<\/p>\n
\u201cWeird huh?\u201d The vampire cocked his head to look at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cVery.\u201d She nodded vehemently.<\/p>\n
Oh god, the silence. Cordelia had a feeling that it was about to take corporeal form and start pointing and laughing at them, but that was probably the vision hangover at work. She squeezed her eyes shut and wished she’d taken another pain killer before they’d come up stairs and walked in the lesser known awkward circle of hell.<\/p>\n
\u201cAt this rate the visions are gonna kill me before we’re even naked.\u201d Cordelia chuckled and rubbed the tense muscles in her neck.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon’t say that. You’re not going to die.\u201d Angel growled and stood up, the urge to pace almost overwhelming. Cordelia wasn’t going to die goddammit, she was going to live a long and ridiculous life and Angel would do everything in his power to make sure of that.<\/p>\n
\u201cLighten up Angel, I was only joking.\u201d Cordelia frowned at the vampires reaction.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe don’t joke about you dying. It’s not…just don’t.\u201d He muttered and unbuttoned his shirt, he shrugged it off and threw it across the room so it landed on his leather chair.<\/p>\n
\u201cOK, OK. No more gallows humour, I swear.\u201d She crossed her heart and let a small smile tug at the corners of her mouth. \u201cIt got you to take your top off though, didn’t it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd yet you’re still fully clothed.\u201d Angel arched an eyebrow at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cFine, turn around.\u201d She stood up and fingered the buttons of her shirt.<\/p>\n
\u201cI’m gonna see you naked sooner or later Cordy, we may as well get it out of the way.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAh, the romance.\u201d Cordelia faked a swoon then rolled her eyes at him. \u201cTurn around or I’ll start cracking the morbid jokes again.\u201d Angel turned his back on her muttering under his breath and shaking his head. Taking a deep calming breath that she knew the vampire would hear but did it anyway Cordelia unbuttoned her white shirt and folded it neatly, unconsciously stalling for time. Angel could hear her heart beating loudly in her chest and a pang of guilt shot through him.<\/p>\n
Cordelia Chase was a beautiful young intelligent woman…and she had to have sex with a vampire to stop herself from dying.<\/p>\n
It just wasn’t right.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou OK?\u201d Angel asked keeping his eyes glued to the wall.<\/p>\n
\u201cI’m fine.\u201d She said automatically making Angel clench his jaw in annoyance, but he didn’t scold her for untruthful response, they were both uncomfortable enough already. Cordelia stepped out of her jeans and laid them next to her shirt, blinking away the slight dizziness that fogged her sight as the remnants of this mornings vision continued to torment her. She smoothed her hands over her hair and adjusted her bra out of habit. She could do this. It was do or die. She trusted Angel. He was her best friend. He was her best friend!
\n<\/i>Cordelia swallowed down the nervous laughter that threatened to spill from her mouth and quickly slipped into the vampires bed, pulling the cranberry sheet modestly over her breasts.<\/p>\n
\u201cOK, you can turn around now.\u201d Cordelia cleared her throat and wanted to hide under the bed.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think we should put an embargo on ‘I’m fine<\/i>‘s, it’s a lie and it irritates me.\u201d Angel muttered as he made his way across the room.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh quit whining and get into bed.\u201d She rolled her eyes at him in exasperation.<\/p>\n
\u201cHave you ever wondered why you’re single?\u201d The vampire said as he unbuckled his belt and let it fall to the floor.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh you did not just go there!\u201d Cordelia narrowed her eyes at him, not noticing that Angel had taken off his belt and unbuttoned his pants, to preoccupied with her indignant outrage to realise he was now very naked and slipping quickly into bed beside her.<\/p>\n
\u201cI’m pretty sure I didn’t.\u201d Angel smiled crookedly at her, an apology in his eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cWise man.\u201d Cordelia flicked her hair over her shoulder but stopped mid huff. \u201cYou’re naked.\u201d She said as though she weren’t expecting it.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, yes I am.\u201d He nodded slowly.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh. You distracted me with that single comment didn’t you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDistract the mark, it’s the golden rule of being a vampire.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHuh. I thought it was kill everything with a pulse and bathe in the blood of the innocent?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, that too.\u201d The vampire shrugged and fiddled with the sheet covering his waist. They could do this, they had to do this. But it wasn’t going to happened with Cordelia as tense as a two by four. \u201cYou need to relax.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI’m relaxed. I am the definition of relaxed, if I were any more relaxed I’d be-\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy, shut up and lay down.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFor once will you please just do as I say.\u201d Angel sighed, his nerves beginning to become frayed around the edges.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere’s that tone again.\u201d Cordelia huffed but did as he said any way. \u201cNow what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy am I in charge here?\u201d Angel shifted down next to her, propping his head up on his hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause you’re the man.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe Pankhurst sisters are rolling in their graves as you speak.\u201d The vampire muttered as he grasped the bed sheet Cordelia was holding as though it were a life line.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are you doing?\u201d She said as Angel slid the material out of her fingers, slowly slipping it down her chest until it was resting just above the line of her panties.<\/p>\n
\u201cTrying to get this started.\u201d Angel told her. Cordelia’s neck was flushed with pink embarrassment and he wished he could say something to make her comfortable.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you trust me?\u201d He asked as he brushed an errant strand of chocolate hair away from her forehead.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know I do.\u201d Cordelia said as she fought the desire to cover her self up, but Angel wasn’t staring at her lace covered breasts like most men would, his eyes never deviated from hers and Cordelia realised this would be OK because it was Angel, her best friend, she trust him. It would be OK, awkward as hell, but OK nonetheless. Angel swallowed heavily and Cordelia watched the bump of his Adam’s apple bob up and down. Her eyes widened as she realised the vampire’s face was gradually inching closer to her, she found herself closing her eyes in anticipation of his kiss but as she felt his cool breath against her lips Cordelia was struck by a sudden thought.<\/p>\n
\u201cWait.\u201d She halted Angel with a hand on his chest.<\/p>\n
\u201cOK.\u201d The vampire pulled back, more than just a little relieved.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don’t think we should kiss.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don’t?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt seems kinda personal, don’tcha think?\u201d Cordelia scrunched up her nose and shifted to get more comfortable in the bed.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou are aware we’re about to have sex aren’t you?\u201d Angel narrowed his eyes at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat I mean is kissing…it’s a couply thing and we’re not a couple.\u201d Cordelia ignored his facetious remark.<\/p>\n
\u201cTrue.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo no kissing on the mouth.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFair enough.\u201d<\/p>\n
Which was all fine and dandy but now they were stuck in that debilitating silence again with no way of gradually easing themselves in to sex.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell we need to start this some how.\u201d Cordelia muttered and grasped Angel’s hand, placing it to both their surprise on her right breast.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat works.\u201d Angel said dumbly, for the first time looking at her white cotton covered chest as though he’d never seen anything like it before.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey’re called breasts Angel.\u201d The brunette rolled her eyes trying to stave off the shock of what she’d just done. Cordelia was no prude but Angel’s hand was on her breast and she was sure the earth was going to open up and swallow her any moment now.<\/p>\n
\u201cI’m aware of that, it’s just…they’re your <\/i>breasts. Cordelia breasts.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAs opposed to Fred breasts?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia breasts are completely different to Fred breasts.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere’s more of them for a start.\u201d Angel said thoughtfully.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can’t believe you just said that.\u201d The brunette snorted with laughter and the tension slowly began to dissipate in her body.<\/p>\n
\u201cNor can I actually.\u201d The vampire grinned crookedly, glad to see her smiling. That was until his thumb moved of it’s own accord across Cordelia’s breast, puckering her cotton encased nipple to a peak.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh.\u201d Was all Cordelia could think of to say because even though it was Angel her body still responded to the intimate touch.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs this OK?\u201d Angel asked her as his thumb continued to blaze a lazy trail.<\/p>\n
\u201cUh huh.\u201d Cordelia nodded, swallowing heavily as his cool finger tips skirted over the edge of her bra and met the warm flesh of the top of her breast. He slowly ran his hand over the ridge of her collar bone, dipping his thumb into soft valley of her clavicle then up her flushed neck. Angel could feel the beat of her blood beneath her skin and for a moment the demon in him struggled for power, the vampire battened it down easily because this was Cordelia and she needed him. Angel ran his fingers through her thick hair as Cordelia watched him with wide eyes, the dimly lit room heavy with a different silence than before, only broken by Cordelia’s shallow breathing. A spell was weaving itself through the room as the vampire brushed his knuckles softly down the swell of her breasts, Angel had never touched her like this before and he felt as though he were learning the real Cordelia Chase for the first time, soft and gentle, a woman that had-<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you….\u201d Cordelia said suddenly and they both watched as the spell dissolve into a million pieces. The brunette could have kicked herself for opening her mouth just as it looked like it was about to go somewhere but the words were out there now and had to be dealt with.<\/p>\n
\u201cAm I what?\u201d Angel frowned at her half asked question.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know….\u201d Cordelia wiggled her eyebrows and gestured with her eyes in the direction of his lap.<\/p>\n
\u201cHuh?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know!\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cI really don’t.\u201d The corner of the vampire’s lip twitched upwards in confusion.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you…hard?\u201d She forced out the last word much to both their dismay.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia I can’t just will it to attention.\u201d Angel raised an eyebrow at her wondering for the millionth time since she’d barrelled into his life how exactly this woman’s mind worked.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you sure you’re not a-\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI’m not a eunuch!\u201d <\/i>He cut off her sentence before she could finish it, yeah, the mood was definitely gone now. Angel sighed and flopped onto his back, this was getting ridiculous.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell there’s no need to get testy. I thought vampire’s were meant to be good at this.\u201d Cordelia said, propping herself up on her elbows.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe are but in case you haven’t noticed this is strange and awkward and I’m under a little pressure here and you’ve managed to trample what little was left of my confidence and ego.\u201d The vampire grumpily told the ceiling.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell now I feel bad.\u201d The brunette frowned and bit her lip. \u201cI’m sorry Angel, this is just….\u201d Cordelia trailed off unsure of what she was trying to say.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt’s us.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cExactly.\u201d She nodded, relieved that he understood without her having to explain in detail.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd we don’t do this.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is what I’m saying.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut we have to.\u201d Angel said gravely and sat back up. \u201cI will do whatever you need me to do Cordy because I can’t lose you. I will not<\/i> let you die because of the visions, I just won’t. So we’re going to have sex, we might not want to but we’re going to do it anyway, so suck it up Chase and get on your back.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWow, you’re a real sweet talker.\u201d Cordelia laughed despite the gravity of Angel’s words.<\/p>\n
\u201cI’m one of the best.\u201d The vampire said dryly as she slid back down onto her back.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell that remains to be seen.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShut up and close your eyes.\u201d Angel rolled his eyes in a very Cordelia-like fashion.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou’re not gonna wet willy me are you?\u201d Cordelia shut one eye, watching him suspiciously out of the other.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOK, OK, I’m closing my eyes, I’m quiet, I’m about to have sex with my best friend and I have the sudden urge to laugh hysterically.\u201d She said evenly as she just concentrated on breathing and nothing else, she didn’t see the loving smile that graced Angel’s usually unreadable face. Cordelia infuriated him, irritated and annoyed him like no other person on the planet ever could…but she was Cordy, his best friend, and he was going to stop her from dying even if he had to tie her up and gag her.<\/p>\n
The demon in him liked that idea probably a little too much.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow just relax Cordy.\u201d Angel’s voice dropped to the low timbre that he knew from experience had a favourable affect on women.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs that your sexy voice?\u201d Cordelia’s lips twitched as she tried not to laugh.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou wanna hear my if you don’t shut up you’re gonna get a spanking <\/i>voice?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLets get the sex out of the way first.\u201d She said with her eyes firmly closed, slightly disturbed that she appeared to be flirting with him. Anything else she was about to say died in her throat as she felt soft glide of cool lips travel across her collar bone, in fact she appeared to have stopped breathing altogether.<\/p>\n
\u201cRelax.\u201d She heard Angel whisper into her ear as he nipped at her earlobe. She startled slightly when the vampire’s hand settled on her waist, his thumb drawing soothing circles against her skin as he ran his tongue down the valley of her breasts. Cordelia shivered at the sensation, feeling goose bumps she didn’t think would prickle her skin break out across her body.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy?\u201d Angel murmured softly as he peppered the slope of her cleavage with light kisses.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah?\u201d Cordelia said, her voice wavering with uncertainty.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe can stop anytime you want, OK?\u201d The vampire reassured her.<\/p>\n
\u201cOK.\u201d She nodded, glad she had her eyes closed because she wasn’t sure she could look at Angel right now as he continued mapping her body with kisses, trying to ease her nerves even as his refused to leave him. Angel took a deep unneeded breath and pressed his cheek against her heart, inhaling the familiar scent of everything that was Cordelia into his lungs.<\/p>\n
He couldn’t lose her, not again.<\/p>\n
With a confidence he thought he’s lost the moment they stepped into his bedroom Angel began to show his best friend how important she was to him, his hands running up and down her ribs as his teeth grazed over the material of her bra. He heard Cordelia’s breath hitch in her throat but she made no move to stop his gentle teasing so Angel took that as a good sign. Cordelia was on the verge of either jumping off the bed and running away as fast as she could or moaning as Angel’s tongue and teeth worshipped her breasts, embarrassed that her body was responding to his ministrations but not enough to get him to stop.<\/p>\n
Her eyes flew open though when she felt the straps of her bra being pulled down.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you trust me?\u201d Angel asked her again as his eyes held hers.<\/p>\n
\u201cWithout a doubt.\u201d Cordelia managed to find her voice.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen let me keep you alive.\u201d The vampire murmured and pressed a kiss to the now naked expanse of her shoulder. Cordelia’s response was to snake her hands behind her back and snap the clasp of her bra, letting Angel slip it from her breasts and dropping it down beside the bed.<\/p>\n
Do or die.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou’re beautiful.\u201d His eyes lingered on her naked flesh for a moment before capturing her gaze again.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don’t have to say that.\u201d Cordelia whispered, her voice thick and husky.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt’s the truth.\u201d Angel wrapped his fingers into her thick hair and tucked it behind her ear. \u201cYou’re beautiful Cordy, we don’t tell you that enough.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell that’s true.\u201d She grinned, momentarily forgetting that she was all but naked in bed with a fully naked Angel leaning over her. Screwing her courage to the sticking place Cordelia lifted her hand and ran her fingers over the muscles in his arm, if she’d touched him once she’d touched him a thousand times, friendly hugs, playful punches, too often to bandage wounds…but never like this. The caress of a lover, not a friend. Yet they weren’t lovers, this was just something they had to do and already Cordelia realised this wasn’t going to be as easy as she’d thought it would be.<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIs this going to change everything?\u201d Cordelia asked him quietly.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou’re my best friend Cordy, nothing’s going to change that.\u201d Angel told her even though he wasn’t sure himself.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you promise?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI promise.\u201d The vampire declared and kissed her forehead with such affection that Cordelia believed him with every ounce of her being. They stood on the line between friendship and lovers and had no choice but to jump across it into the unknown. A moment of understanding passed unspoken between Angel and Cordelia.<\/p>\n
Love, friendship, trust and respect. They could do this.<\/p>\n
A shaky breath slipped from her mouth as Angel cupped her naked breast, his thumb worrying the small nub into a hard peak. Cordelia’s fingers gripped the corded muscles of his arm as he kissed where her neck met her shoulder, her eyes fluttering shut as she forced herself to stop thinking of Angel as her sexless best friend but as an attractive man that was quickly starting to make her blood hum in her veins. Her back arched instinctively as cool flesh circled her nipple, teeth nipping and tongue soothing in a way that she’d never experienced before.<\/p>\n
\u201cI knew you had an oral fixation.\u201d Cordelia chuckled.<\/p>\n
\u201cI’m a vampire, it goes with the territory.\u201d Angel grinned into her skin as his hand sneaked down over her flat stomach and rested on her abdomen, his fingers tracing the elastic at the top of her panties. He heard Cordelia swallow loudly, or maybe that was him, he ignored it anyway and spread his hand over her covered mound. Angel fixed his gaze to hers, making sure what he was doing was OK with her, Cordelia saw the question in his eyes and nodded shortly, easing her thighs apart slightly. She hadn’t even realised her legs were locked together so tightly.<\/p>\n
\u201cRemember, anytime you want to stop-\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShh…I know.\u201d Cordelia hushed him softly and ran her fingers through his spiky hair, surprised that it was soft beneath the palm of her hand and not thick with the gel they all teased him about using. The comforting gesture seemed to relax the tense muscles of his shoulders and she realised that he was just as scared about doing this as she was. Cordelia scratched her nails soothingly over his scalp, smiling as his eyes drifted shut and a low purr rumbled through his chest. She knew Angel thought she was the reason they had to so this but the images of her earlier vision still licked at the corner of her brain and something deep in her bones told her that this was needed as much by him as it was by her.<\/p>\n
Angel’s hand began to move as Cordelia massaged his scalp in such a comforting way that any other time it would have been enough to lull him into a dreamless sleep. Any other time when he wasn’t running his fingers up and down the soft skin of where the inside of her thigh met her most intimate flesh.<\/p>\n
Do or die.<\/p>\n
Cross the line.<\/p>\n
The two friends held their collective breath as they watched Angel’s hand move beneath Cordelia’s cotton panties, it was such a surreal sight that it took both the brunettes a second to realise what was happening but when the vampire pressed the flesh of her clitoris underneath his experienced fingers it all became every real.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs that OK?\u201d Angel asked her.<\/p>\n
\u201cUh huh.\u201d Cordelia nodded as he slowly began to learn her, she bit her lip and closed her eyes when the thought that this was Angel <\/i>doing this to here began to seep back into the forefront of her brain, she had to ignore those thoughts and just concentrate on the throbbing feeling building in the base of her belly.<\/p>\n
Desire.<\/p>\n
Cordelia was quickly becoming aroused by what Angel was doing to her and she wasn’t sure how she felt about that.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou better not be thinking about Jude Law.\u201d Angel muttered with fake annoyance, a laugh bubbled up in her throat but became caught in her mouth when she felt the familiar but foreign feeling of a finger sliding inside her.<\/p>\n
\u201cSuddenly not thinking about anything.\u201d Cordelia said through shaky breaths, this wasn’t the same as the solo nights she spent alone with Jude or Brad in her head telling her she was beautiful as she worked her body with lonely desperation. This was terrifying and wonderful and Cordelia had to remind herself that they were doing this because they had to, not because they wanted to.<\/p>\n
A<\/i>ngel watched the young woman beside him, her pink cheeks and full lips alive with the beat of her blood. He was speaking the truth when he’d told her she was beautiful but the vampire had never seen her this<\/i> beautiful before and a part of him was glad that they had to do this so he could witness this side of her. Flushed and naked, unwittingly arousing his demon with just the sight and scent of her.<\/p>\n
Well the erection doubts aren’t going to be an issue at least, Angel thought as he buried his face into the crook of her neck, tasting the slightly salty tang that laced her amber skin as all the blood in his body began to head south. A low moan barely left Cordelia’s lips but it echoed in Angel’s ears and the vampire thrust a second finger inside her, his thumb teasing her clitoris and making her hips move jerkily against his hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh….\u201d Cordelia gasped softly at the sensation and tightened her grip on Angel’s shoulder. The vampire shifted next to her and Cordelia felt something poking her hip, something foreign and…Oh, she said silently when she figured out what it was. Definetly not a eunuch then. Angel sensed the young woman go still next to him and it wasn’t until he registered warm skin pressing against his erection that the reason dawned on him.<\/p>\n
\u201cI um, I….\u201d He stumbled for something to say, it was strange that Angel, with his hand down Cordelia’s panties and his fingers buried inside her slick heat, would be so dreadfully embarrassed that he had a hard on.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think I can safely say that I will never<\/i> call you the ‘e’ word again.\u201d Cordelia teased him, a gruff laugh vibrated through the vampires chest as he leant his forehead against her shoulder, relieved that she didn’t punch him and call him a pervert. Angel dropped a kiss on to the smooth skin beneath his lips as he withdrew his hand from inside her underwear, smirking at the mewl of annoyance that Cordelia didn’t realise she made at the loss of his touch.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, where are you going?\u201d Cordelia muttered as Angel sat up next to her, trying not to look at how the bed sheet tented in his lap.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf we’re going to do this then we’re going to do this properly.\u201d Angel said with more authority then he felt, with a flick of his wrist the bed sheet flew from the bed and landed on the floor in a crumpled mess.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh. Well. OK then.\u201d Cordelia swallowed as her gaze became fixed on his manhood. OH. MY. GOD. She panicked silently. I’m looking at Angel’s penis, Angel’s penis is right there. Angel *has* a penis. Dammit Chase stop staring at it like you’ve never seen one before!<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy?\u201d Angel frowned when she’d been silent for longer than was comfortable.<\/p>\n
\u201cHuh?\u201d She wrenched her gaze up to his eyes and felt her face burning crimson.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt’s called a penis Cordelia.\u201d Angel echoed her earlier words, his lips twitching into an smile.<\/p>\n
\u201cHa ha.\u201d The brunette rolled her eyes and forced herself to only look at his left earlobe because anything else was more naked than it had ever been before and it was a little too much for Cordelia’s brain to handle. \u201cWe’re naked.\u201d She stated the obvious.<\/p>\n
\u201cI am, you’re not.\u201d Angel frowned and both their gazes dropped to her underwear.<\/p>\n
\u201cI guess I should….\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n
They continued to stare at the piece of clothing as though it were about to jump up and bite them.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can, er, work around them if you want.\u201d The vampire grimaced at his choice of words.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, no. You’re naked, it’s only fair that I am too.\u201d Cordelia said diplomatically.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don’t-\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAngel, it’s OK. Like you said, if we’re going to do this, we do it properly.\u201d She took a deep breath and snagged her fingers through the elastic of her panties.<\/p>\n
\u201cWait.\u201d Angel stilled her hands. \u201cLet me.\u201d He untangled moved her hands away and placed the them on the bed at her sides. Cordelia gasped in surprise when Angel pressed a line of kisses along the hem of the white material, biting the flesh of her bottom lip as her nerves began to get the better of her once again. With his eyes never leaving Cordelia’s, Angel slowly pulled down the last vestige of her modesty until as she was finally completely naked before him.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou OK?\u201d The vampire asked her for what felt like the millionth time that day.<\/p>\n
\u201cTruthfully?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI’m kinda scared.\u201d Cordelia scrunched up her nose with equal parts embarrassment and hesitancy.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat makes two of us.\u201d Angel smiled crookedly at her easing the young woman’s fears with such a simple gesture and six little words. They were naked and about to have sex but they were friends. That’s what mattered.<\/p>\n
\u201cC’mon then Romeo, lets get this show on the road.\u201d Cordelia sat up and grasped his hand and tugged him down over her, letting Angel settle between her parted thighs. Angel swallowed the hiss that threatened to fall from his mouth when his hard flesh met Cordelia’s warmth.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou ready?\u201d The vampire asked her throatily.<\/p>\n
\u201cAs I’ll ever be.\u201d Cordelia nodded. Angel slid his hands up the outside of her thighs, his chest brushing against her breasts as he positioned himself then rocked his hips into her heated flesh.<\/p>\n
\u201cOw!\u201d The young woman yelped at the thick invasion of her body, every muscle in her body tensing at once.<\/p>\n
\u201cDid I hurt you?\u201d Angel instantly went still even though the tight heat he was enveloped in made him want to move.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo…yes…it’s just a little uncomfortable.\u201d Cordelia grimaced and shifted her hips which almost pushed Angel over the edge.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you want me to-\u201d He cleared his throat and tried to get a hold on his body, but Cordelia was so warm and tight that it made it difficult to think straight.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust give me a minute.\u201d She let out a shuddering breath and smiled weakly at Angel. \u201cSorry, it’s just been a while.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShh….\u201d Angel hushed her. \u201cYou have nothing to be sorry for Cordy. Ever.\u201d He rested his forehead against Cordelia’s and matched his unneeded breathing to hers until she calmed to a degree, giving Angel the chance to steady himself.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo…seen any good movies recently?\u201d Angel asked her when the silence grew to a deafening level, Cordelia laughed loudly, forgetting the slight discomfort and loosening her taut muscles.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh God Angel, did you ever think our lives would be this <\/i>ridiculous?\u201d Cordelia chuckled, running her hands distractedly over his back.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy life has always been this ridiculous.\u201d Angel said dryly, a sardonic smile on his lips.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell that’s comforting.\u201d She snorted and moved her hips experimentally which made the vampire groan before he could stop himself.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy, you really need to stop doing that.\u201d He muttered and squeezed his eyes shut. He only had so much control after all.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think…\u201d Cordelia moved again, her body growing accustomed to his.<\/p>\n
\u201cSure?\u201d Angel asked her huskily.<\/p>\n
\u201cUh huh.\u201d She nodded still a little unsure but wanting to do this anyway. So slowly that Cordelia was barely aware of it, Angel began to move inside her, small gentle thrusts that let the friends find some sort of mutual rhythm. It wasn’t instinctual, fuelled by breath taking passion and wild abandonment, Cordelia didn’t rake her nails down Angel’s back as he worked her body with languid vigour.<\/p>\n
If anything it was a little awkward and jerky.<\/p>\n
It was sex, run of the mill, nervous, first time with a new lover, sex.<\/p>\n
\u201cUm…\u201d Cordelia wondered how she could say this.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat’s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThis isn’t….\u201d She scrunched up her nose, praying that Angel knew what <\/i>she was talking about so she wouldn’t have to say Angel, this position really working for me.<\/i> Thankfully, she didn’t have to.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt’s not?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot really.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOK.\u201d Angel shifted his position above her, angling his hips and hers to where he really hoped it would be better for Cordelia. \u201cHow’s this?\u201d He withdrew slightly then drove a little harder into her.<\/p>\n
\u201cAhh…yeah…that works.\u201d Cordelia murmured as Angel hit a sweet spot inside her. As their hips began to work together with an equal rhythm Angel realised to his dismay that he wasn’t going to last very long. If he came before Cordelia did Angel decided he’d stake himself there and then, no questions asked. He tried to push it down and focus on the young woman he was doing this for but when Cordelia squeezed her inner muscles around him Angel knew this was going to be over before it even really started. With this in mind the vampire snaked his hand between them, over Cordelia’s firm belly and through the downy curls that hid her sex, massaging the swollen nub of her clitoris with his thumb.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh….\u201d Cordelia groaned softly as her hips bucked against his, squeezing her eyes shut she concentrated on the tingling sensation fluttering in the base of her belly and nothing else. The brunette began to move with more confidence, searching for something that seemed just out of reach, her fingers biting into his shoulders with his every measured stroke inside her, again and again until her breathing hitched with surprise as a gentle orgasm trickled through her, her fluttering walls pushing Angel over the edge a moment later, coming inside her with a grunt and a sharp jerk of his hips.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
So….\u201d Angel cleared his throat, darting a look at the still flushed woman laying beside him.<\/p>\n
\u201cUh huh.\u201d Cordelia nodded for no reason, she smoothed her hands over the cranberry bed sheet that was once again draped modestly up over her chest.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat was….\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYep.\u201d<\/p>\n
Once Angel had kissed her forehead and withdrew from her settling beside Cordelia as their breathing slowed, the uncomfortable silence that never really seemed to leave crept back into the room joined by the knowledge of what they had just done.<\/p>\n
\u201cWas that what you saw in your vision?\u201d The vampire turned his head to look at the brunette who was staring at the ceiling.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh. Yeah. Exactly.\u201d Cordelia nodded unconvincingly.<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy?\u201d Angel admonished her, silently reminding her that they’d promised no more lies.<\/p>\n
\u201cOK, fine, no. That wasn’t what was in my vision.\u201d Cordelia admitted hesitantly, unsure of the etiquette for such a conversation.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh.\u201d Angel blinked and went back to staring at the ceiling.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was really nice though.\u201d Cordelia grimaced as the expression on the vampires face.<\/p>\n
\u201cNice.\u201d He said the word as though he were trying to understand the meaning of it. \u201cJust nice?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe were both nervous and it was our first time, so I think nice is pretty darn good.\u201d She said truthfully, lacing her finger together on her chest.<\/p>\n
First time.<\/p>\n
First time.<\/i><\/p>\n
Meaning they were going to have to do this again. And again.<\/p>\n
And again<\/i> because Cordelia would die if they didn’t. A thought struck the two friends at the same time, they were doing this for a reason and through the awkwardness they’d both forgotten it.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow’s you’re-\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGone.\u201d Cordelia answered his question before he even had the chance to ask it. She sat up and shook her head expecting the familiar twangs of pain to shoot through her skull. Nope, nothing. The vision hangover was completely gone.<\/p>\n
\u201cReally?\u201d He asked as he dragged himself up beside her, feeling a little better about his performance.<\/p>\n
\u201cNot even a twinge!\u201d She beamed and threw her arms around him, hugging him close with a bone deep relief.<\/p>\n
\u201cThank god.\u201d Angel sighed and returned her embrace. She was going to be OK, it worked. Cordelia felt hot tears prickling behind her eyes, she wasn’t going to die. Burying her face into the vampires neck, she let out a long relieved breath that death was no longer nipping at her heels. She was alive, breathing, fit to see another day, she couldn’t remember when the pain in her head had eased, was it when he first touched her, when he was moving inside her? Cordelia had no idea and she didn’t really care because the pain was gone, she didn’t have to be scared any more, she was alive and hugging her naked best friend whom she’d just had sex with.<\/p>\n
\u201cI er….\u201d Cordelia untangled herself from Angels arms, tugging the sheet back over her breasts from where it had slipped when she’d launched herself at him.
\n\u201cYeah.\u201d Angel cleared his throat and the joy that he felt was quickly tempered by their new friend the crippling silence.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo….\u201d Cordelia was really beginning to hate that word.<\/p>\n
\u201cUh huh….\u201d Angel nodded.<\/p>\n
Oh boy.<\/p>\n