Part 5<\/b><\/p>\n
\u201cWill you trust me to love you?\u201d<\/p>\n
She smiled, lips parting as they met with his in a tender kiss.\u00a0 He felt the warmth of a soft mewl inviting his tongue to taste the sweetness of her mouth.<\/p>\n
\u201cLet me love you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mouths nipping and sucking, he lifted her into his arms and carried her upstairs.<\/p>\n
Hips thrusting against the hard mattress, Angel groaned as unwanted consciousness pulled him from his dream, stealing the warm, soft flesh and leaving him alone with only a cold sheet clutched in his hands.\u00a0 Disappointment meshing with anger, eyes flashed gold sparks and fangs itched from years of neglect.\u00a0 Another anguished howl and Angel rolled onto his back, cursing untimely physical needs.\u00a0 He had barely an hour before meeting Cordelia; his shower would have to be cold and hard, and purposeful.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
The sun loomed above the horizon, a large fireball descending day into twilight; colors, wild and bright, creating a magical hue.\u00a0 The last, warm caress of day sailed with the wind, fluttering dark tresses left loose and abandoned.<\/p>\n
Cordelia browsed the elegantly designed boutique windows, scolding her inner child for grieving over frivolous days long past.\u00a0 Priorities had changed, her situation with Angel being in the forefront of those changes.\u00a0 He was probably on his way to Caritas by now, she reasoned, watching her lambent shield fade into moonlit vulnerability.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Courage as fake as her calm fa\u00e7ade, Cordelia pushed open the door and walked inside.<\/p>\n
You\u2019re late, Angel\u2019s expression whispered, dark eyes with only a hint of emotion careful not to question why.<\/p>\n
She sized him up; know your enemy, he had taught her that.\u00a0 The change was subtle, but easily detected by someone who had spent the better part of a year complaining of endless black on black.<\/p>\n
Angel had taken great care in his attire.\u00a0 Too much color would present the wrong impression, not enough would affirm nothing had changed.\u00a0 His shirt was dark blue, almost black but not quite; and boots, a common choice, replaced with casual and uncomfortable dress shoes.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy don\u2019t we sit,\u201d a hesitant voice suggested, failing to dispel the blanket of tension.\u00a0 \u201cI made coffee\u2026I\u2019ll go get it.\u201d\u00a0 No response to his offer, a discontented sigh huffed from red lips and Lorne shuffled behind the bar, the chink of china and utensils resonating into the suffocating quiet.\u00a0 Lorne was out of his league and failing miserably to conceal his fears of inadequacy in handling this imposed position of mediator and counselor.<\/p>\n
They set at the table, an illusion of friends sharing a drink, coming together by chance and catching up on times missed.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow are you?\u201d\u00a0 Angel finally spoke, the rasped query giving little indication of his fervent rehearsal.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood-fine-I\u2019m good,\u201d was the stammered reply.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s good.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cKnowing where to start is\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cImpossible is the word you\u2019re looking for.\u201d\u00a0 Cordelia whispered tilting her head to the side, sitting so close to Lorne they were almost touching.<\/p>\n
Cordelia knew the club protected her from unwanted attention; a simple demonstration, Angel surmised, that he should remember his place.<\/p>\n
Muscles were more tone, evidence of her newfound need for self-defense.\u00a0 But she was slimmer, evidence that a healthy appetite and depression were not faithful companions.<\/p>\n
Angel studied the curve of her face.\u00a0 Except for their brief moment at the office, opportunity for close proximity had been nonexistent.\u00a0 Her eyes gave up the biggest change; they were darker and steeled with resolve, clouding the glittering smile he had grown accustomed to before Darla\u2019s intrusion.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat I did to you was…\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cReprehensible?\u00a0 Culpable?\u00a0 Criminal?\u00a0 Evil?\u201d<\/p>\n
The tone was accusing, the expression condemning; and unable to face either, Angel lowered his head, eyes burning into the cup in front of him.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d\u00a0 He whispered, weary defeat reaching across the table in hopes of being embraced.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy did you come back?\u201d\u00a0 Cordelia knew Angel had learned of Darla\u2019s demise from Wesley, and considered the likelihood they were again a temporary substitute while Angel bided his time.\u00a0 \u201cSorry if you\u2019ve found yourself momentarily short on purpose, but we\u2019re no longer available; you\u2019ll have to find some other poor slobs to use until something better comes along.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hope swatted away like the annoyance of a gnat, his head jerked up, determination anxious to deny.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not why I\u2019m here.\u00a0 That was never the reason we were together.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe visions are for the mission, not you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe visions aren\u2019t why I need you, but the mission is<\/b><\/i> mine.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot any more, you walked away because other things were more important.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOur destiny was foretold; you know that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYours maybe, mine\u2019s more likely in the closed accounts file at Tiffany\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t do this Cordelia.\u00a0 You promised you\u2019d help me find my way out of the tunnel.\u201d<\/p>\n
How dare you throw that in my face.\u00a0 I believed we were friends, you were a champion, and I trusted you.<\/i>\u00a0 \u201cI meant it when I said it.\u00a0 I just didn\u2019t know you planned on dragging me into the tunnel with you.\u00a0 If you wanted to crawl around in the dark, you had Darla for that.\u00a0 Maybe you should have taken better care of her.\u00a0 After all, you were willing to give up everything, even your life to save her.\u201d<\/p>\n
The trial\u2026 how the hell does she know\u2026\u00a0 Lorne\u2026<\/i>\u00a0 A low growl rumbled from his chest.<\/p>\n
Angel was ready to tell Cordelia everything, no more secrets, no more going off to handle things on his own; but he had to get her back first.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis isn\u2019t about Darla, it never…\u201d\u00a0 Useless denial was, well useless when dealing with Cordelia.\u00a0 He had pushed her beyond the perimeters her youth could handle and she was surviving the only way she knew how…with a brutal, detached honesty of the Queen herself.<\/p>\n
Calm, stay calm; she wants me to lose control so this can be over.<\/i>\u00a0 \u201cI made a lot of mistakes, and what I did to you was the worst.\u00a0 I don\u2019t expect you to forgive me, at least not yet.\u201d\u00a0 Angel chose his words carefully.\u00a0 He had no right to demand anything and couldn\u2019t risk Cordelia misinterpreting his request.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m just asking that we work on us.\u00a0 What we had is worth the pain if we can be like we were.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re still confused Angel.\u00a0 There is no us.\u00a0 There never was.\u00a0 And whatever we were like before is gone.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t mean that Cordy; you can\u2019t-\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordy\u2019s gone too.\u00a0 She grew up\u2026the hard way.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know you\u2019re hurting, but I\u2019m hurting too.\u201d\u00a0 Angel countered; the response laced in a soft whisper, he concentrated on sipping his coffee, ignoring the cooling temperature.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, I\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 I forgot.\u00a0 That soul of yours is suppose to punish you for your bad deeds.\u00a0 Too bad it doesn\u2019t stop you once in a while.\u00a0 So what\u2019s the penance for ultimate betrayal?\u00a0 Three Hail Mary\u2019s and a side trip to Sunnydale for some Buffy lovin\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n
Eyes jerked up before shock could be masked, the rim of the cup clinking against his teeth; and Angel switched his concentration to swallowing the bitter brew before it could spew from his mouth.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u00a0 You didn\u2019t think I\u2019d know?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel had heard of Buffy\u2019s mother and stopped in Sunnydale on his way to LA.\u00a0 Staying all of an hour, he offered his condolences.\u00a0 His need for Cordelia overshadowing his ability to comfort, guilt of failing one because he was obsessed with healing his failures with the other almost more than he could bear.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe lost her mother.\u201d\u00a0 The condensed and safer explanation sounded feeble inside his head, and once spoken out loud quickly escalated to pathetic.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know Angel.\u00a0 I know exactly how she felt.\u00a0 A mother suddenly gone.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia lost both her parents, not to death, but abandonment, which in a way is worse.\u00a0 Her parents chose to leave her.\u00a0 Did she deal with the loss on her own?\u00a0 I don\u2019t know, I can\u2019t remember us talking about it.<\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cSuddenly without the person you trusted most in your life.\u201d<\/p>\n
I know Cordelia has dealt with that alone.\u00a0 I\u2019d be dust if Wes and Gunn knew and she\u2019s not confiding in Lorne, he\u2019s not a good enough liar to keep it from me.<\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t apologize.\u00a0 It just cheapens what you have with Buffy.\u00a0 She needed you, and that was the priority.\u00a0 God, it\u2019s not enough you think I\u2019m gullible, you think I\u2019m stupid too.\u00a0 You may have chosen Darla over us, but you\u2019d never choose her over Buffy.\u00a0 It hasn\u2019t been so long that I don\u2019t remember you staked Darla for Buffy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHey kiddies,\u201d Lorne stepped in, unsure if diverting the flow of emotions was the right decision but certain of Angel\u2019s reaction if Cordelia continued to push him away.\u00a0 \u201cWhy don\u2019t we take a few steps back; give everyone a chance to breath.\u201d\u00a0 He glanced at Angel, ignoring fidgety nerves and forcing a quirky smile.\u00a0 \u201cWell if you breathe that is.\u201d<\/p>\n
Lorne\u2019s interruption went unnoticed, unrelenting glares beaming across the table.\u00a0 Heavens to Betsy, if anybody up there is listening now would be a good time for heavenly intervention.<\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cLook Angel, I know you\u2019re in a pickle, suddenly without a blonde to obsess over.\u00a0 Darla\u2019s gone again and you can\u2019t be with Buffy.\u00a0 You want me to be your friend; fine, here\u2019s some friendly advice.\u00a0 No doubt Wolfram and Hart were impressed with you locking all those people in the basement with your two girls.\u00a0 It\u2019s not like they grieve for the own, so I\u2019m\u00a0sure they\u2019ll be glad to resurrect Darla again.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordelia stood from her chair, one hand fisted against her hip the other wielding an insistent, pointing finger.\u00a0 \u201cThen the two of you can ride off into the sunset and leave me the hell alone.\u00a0 Getting dumped the second you find a loophole in that pesky curse is her problem.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCor?\u201d\u00a0 The soft knock against the half-opened door filtered into the room; the welcome of its timeliness varying among the room\u2019s occupants.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s my ride.\u201d\u00a0 Cordelia announced, and with an abrupt spin ended her participation, marching toward Matthew who waited quietly by the door.<\/p>\n
Lorne followed Cordelia turning back to offer, \u201cYou stay here,\u201d grateful for Angel\u2019s unexpected compliance, but unnerved by his mask of eerie calm.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
\u201cI guess for a first session-\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was better than expected,\u201d Angel finished, surprising Lorne with a hopefully honest view.<\/p>\n
\u201cReally?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCordelia\u2019s hurting, and turning that hurt into anger is the only way she can deal right now.\u00a0 She brought up every mistake I made because of Darla except the one thing we have to talk about.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd you\u2019re OK with that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFor now.\u00a0 When do I see her again?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUh, about that; there\u2019s a stipulation to a next time\u2026and it\u2019s nonnegotiable.\u00a0 Angel\u2019s head shifted slightly, his eyes veering to Lorne signaled him to continue.\u00a0 \u201cCordelia wants you to stay off her balcony.\u201d\u00a0 Lorne revealed between worried gulps.<\/p>\n
Angel sat stock-still, face expressionless and knuckles white as fingers unclenched seconds before shattering the cup and spilling its black liquid onto the table.\u00a0 \u201cFine.\u00a0 Whatever Cordelia needs to make this work, I\u2019ll deal with it.\u201d<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
The table crashed against the wall, splintered kindling scattering on the floor; the stripped bare mattress followed close behind.\u00a0 The room was almost completely demolished, every piece touched while violating her innocence and trust hurled across the room as rage dominated control.<\/p>\n
Red satin wrapped around his feet, Angel snatched it up, ripping the frail fabric.\u00a0 Fibers stretched and torn revealed their secret, and Angel pressed the sheet to his face drawing her scent into his spirit.\u00a0 Exhausted, he slumped on the floor; his face buried in a pillow, the faint aroma of her perfume surrounding his senses.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Repose had been brief; haunting memories invading his dreams, Angel escaped to the dark streets.\u00a0 He changed course at the last minute, common sense warning him to stay away he decided instead to use the last hour before sunrise to reacquaint himself with patrolling the city.<\/p>\n
The shout of familiar voices drawing his attention, Angel cut across the street and sped down the alley.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat the hell is that thing?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u00a0 I told you it was big.\u201d\u00a0 Cordelia shouted in return, waving her sword at what she could only assume was its head.<\/p>\n
\u201cForgive me for thinking elephant when you were implying dinosaur.\u00a0 Now get back!\u201d\u00a0 Matthew ordered, steeling his nerves and stepping forward to join Wesley and Gunn on the front line.<\/p>\n
\u201cExcuse me!\u201d\u00a0 Cordelia grabbed his shirt pulling with a hardy tug until their new ally gave up and returned to his position as backup.\u00a0 \u201cSee this,\u201d Cordelia marked off the space swinging her blade out as she whirled around.\u00a0 \u201cThis is called a personal bubble.\u00a0 Unless you want me to carve a big C on your chest, never cross this line.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy are you threatening me?\u00a0 I came to help; remember?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPerhaps you\u2019ve both forgotten why we\u2019re here.\u00a0 A little help would be appreciated.\u201d\u00a0 Blaming the disruption for causing him to miss his target, Wesley cursed as his blade sliced through empty air.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou stay out of this-and go for the throat.\u00a0 I think it might be a weak spot.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAny idea where the throat might be?\u00a0 This thing is just one big blob with claws.\u201d\u00a0 Gunn jumped as he swung his axe hoping to reach what might be a neck.<\/p>\n
Emotionally drained and physically exhausted, Cordelia struggled to let go of her resentment over Matthew\u2019s concern and focus on the battle.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve had more than enough of would be heroes telling me what to do.\u00a0 If you want to help me, help us kill this thing before it kills us.\u201d<\/p>\n
A vision of the strange looking demon must have brought them out at such a late hour, but no one had called for his help; and Angel stood on the sidelines watching the interaction.\u00a0 Though relieved by Cordelia\u2019s refusal to accept the man\u2019s protection, the quips and snarks were painfully similar to the feisty banter they once shared.<\/p>\n
The demon let loose a vicious roar, a heavy limb more akin to a tentacle wielding razor-sharp claws whipped out, hurdling down toward Cordelia.\u00a0 Matthew raised his sword, ready to strike, until a powerful shove knocked him to the ground snatching his weapon from the air.<\/p>\n
Angel straightened mid rotation, swinging the blade around to contact with the bellowing snarl\u2019s source.\u00a0 The demon\u2019s head hit the pavement with a heavy splat, Angel spattered with blood, landing only a second behind it.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy didn\u2019t you call me?\u201d\u00a0 Angel demanded, his snarl rivaling the demon\u2019s.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt-it-\u201d Wesley stammered, cleared his throat and tried again.\u00a0 \u201cIt was almost morning when Cordelia had the vision.\u00a0 It made no sense to call you so close to sunrise.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe had an agreement Wes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNu-huh, no agreements,\u201d Gunn stepped up to challenge, \u201conly maybes and we\u2019ll sees, nothin\u2019 else.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel spun around, standing over the man still lying on the ground; he cast a warning leer, tossing the sword to land with a clank beside his head.\u00a0 \u201cTake Cordelia home\u2026then leave.\u201d\u00a0 He advised, the muscles in his face twitching with tension, his voice a gravelly husk.<\/p>\n
Dark, angry eyes seeking her out, Cordelia stepped back, only nodding a reply when Angel issued his final instructions before taking off.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll see you tonight at eight, and not before.\u00a0 So go home and get some sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe you should stay with me until he has time to cool off.\u201d\u00a0 Matthew suggested pushing up from the bloody pavement and wiping his hands on his jeans.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo!\u201d\u00a0 Cordelia snapped.\u00a0 \u201cJust do what he said.\u201d<\/p>\n
Matthew Ryan may know about the evils that roam in the dark, but he was clueless about the pissed off vampire with a soul.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Profanities spouted, but refusing to give up, the persistent knocker became even bolder.\u00a0 Wesley reached down from the bed snatching up clothes tiredly shed and dumped on the floor just moments before.<\/p>\n
Jerking open the door, he ducked barking a loud, \u201cBloody Hell,\u201d as the fist intending another hard knock lunged at his face.<\/p>\n
\u201cTop of the morning to you too.\u201d\u00a0 An invitation not forthcoming, Lorne pushed past Wesley and stepped inside, anxious to avoid nosy neighbors likely disturbed by his boisterous arrival.<\/p>\n
\u201cLorne?\u00a0 What the bloody blazes are you doing here?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMy, aren\u2019t we a grumpy riser.\u00a0 Your eyes are a little puffy too.\u201d\u00a0 Lorne leaned closer inspecting the dark circles under Wesley\u2019s eyes.\u00a0 \u201cCucumber slices work wonders, but with those bags you might need a miracle.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, thank you for the beauty tip.\u00a0 Now if you could tell me why you\u2019re here\u2026then leave so I can get some sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEverybody\u2019s always in a hurry.\u00a0 No one stops to smell the roses anymore.\u00a0 Fine, short and direct,\u201d Lorne added when Wesley directed him an agitated glare.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s something important in that scroll Angel heisted.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe scroll of Aberjian?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t know its name, the image was fuzzy.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou had a vision?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo; more like a dream or a memo sent from up above.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLorne, you\u2019re not making any sense.\u00a0 Besides, the scroll isn\u2019t here.\u00a0 As far as I know it\u2019s still in the safe at the hotel.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen get it Professor.\u00a0 There\u2019s an important message, and The Powers want us to find it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAlright, I\u2019ll see what I can do; after I get some sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGood, you sleep\u2026and try the cucumbers.\u00a0 Now if you\u2019ll excuse me,\u201d Lorne flipped the hood of his cape over his head.\u00a0 \u201cThis gorgeous profile works best in moonlight.\u201d<\/p>\n