Part 49<\/b><\/p>\n
The former Angel Investigations crew took their respective places in their new headquarters: Angel\u2019s office. Gunn stood, feet spread wide, arms crossed over his expensively clothed chest and waited with the quietly controlled violence of a gladiator before a fight.<\/p>\n
Wesley and Fred were joined at the hip, as usual, seated close together on the leather couch. Fred sat perched on the edge of the cushion, her ankles crossed delicately. A pile of books sat on Wesley\u2019s lap and he clung to them as if the knowledge in their pages would steady the nerves that hadn\u2019t quite recovered from yesterday\u2019s ritual.<\/p>\n
A cell phone seemed permanently attached to Lorne\u2019s ear as he paced a corner of the room, gesturing wildly as he used his witty banter to soothe the easily ruffled feathers of one of his most popular celebrity clients.<\/p>\n
Spike was the only one absent, having trailed Connor almost immediately after he\u2019d left. Angel had called him, given him access to one of the necro-tinted cars, and sent him after his son with the charge to keep him safe. Spike hadn\u2019t questioned him at all; a terse agreement holding a promise that Angel instinctively knew only Spike\u2019s death could break.<\/p>\n
Watching his soldiers prepare for this meeting made Angel uneasy. None of them seemed to be in top form; everyone\u2019s demons were close to the surface today, including Angel\u2019s own. Cordy\u2019s presence calmed him, no doubt. It was just that having Connor out of his sight made him unaccountably nervous.<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s get started, then,\u201d he said, calling everyone to attention. Once all eyes were tuned on him, he continued. \u201cConnor\u2019s gone. He went back to San Francisco to learn more about Jace and Eve\u2019s plans. Spike\u2019s trailing him, keeping an eye on him.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you think that\u2019s wise, Angel?\u201d Wesley questioned. \u201cConnor has been through a lot in the last day or so.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe has,\u201d Angel agreed, \u201cbut he wanted to go. He suggested it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s betrayed us before,\u201d Gunn said darkly. \u201cHow do you know he won\u2019t do it again?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel\u2019s hands fisted in anger at Gunn\u2019s comments. It didn\u2019t matter that they\u2019d so clearly mirrored his own a few hours before. Hearing it come from someone else was an insult. One he tried hard not to react to.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe won\u2019t,\u201d Angel said hoarsely. \u201cHe\u2019s changed.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not so certain,\u201d Wesley cut in. \u201cConnor has a history of appearing devoted but having loyalties elsewhere, especially with our enemies.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut he\u2019s not like that now,\u201d Angel defended him, his jaw clenching.<\/p>\n
Wesley shrugged. \u201cHe wasn\u2019t before the memory restoration spell.\u201d Tapping the books on his lap, he continued. \u201cI\u2019ve been researching the memory restoration, looking for side effects. It seems as if there are no lasting ones. We were able to restore Connor\u2019s memories early enough so that his new, more stable self will be able to compensate for the instability of his old one.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, then that should take care of it. No more psycho Connor,\u201d Cordy said.<\/p>\n
Wesley frowned. \u201cThat\u2019s a hypothesis only, Cordelia. It\u2019s entirely possible that he will choose to discard his new memories, deciding that they\u2019re fantasy and can\u2019t be trusted. We can only hope that he will embrace them and let them take over the darkness from his past. What we should\u2019ve done is had Lorne read him before he left.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, I didn\u2019t think of that,\u201d Fred said absently. \u201cI suppose that would\u2019ve helped.\u201d<\/p>\n
Lorne shrugged. \u201cI don\u2019t know if I could\u2019ve done anything. The boy\u2019s aura is probably messier than Florida in hurricane season. I might not have been able to get any kind of reading that would make sense.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe can\u2019t do much about it now,\u201d Fred pointed out. \u201cI think we should just stick to what we can do before they attack. Do we have any clue when that will be?\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel nodded. \u201cConnor said it would be right after the full moon, which is in just over a week. He said that Eve has someone here on the inside who will neutralize our security. That\u2019s about all he knew.\u201d<\/p>\n
A frown still marring his handsome face, Gunn shifted slightly on his feet. \u201cI\u2019m still uncomfortable with the kid being undercover. I\u2019ve just got this feelin\u2019 that he\u2019ll betray us. There was this look in his eyes\u2014\u201d Gunn stopped abruptly when he saw the thundercloud growing on Angel\u2019s face.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019ll be fine,\u201d Angel said, now more to convince himself just as much as everyone else. He\u2019d been secure in Connor\u2019s loyalty before this meeting started, but all this talk was stirring up his doubt again.<\/p>\n
Abruptly, he changed the subject. \u201cWes, I want you to focus on how to shore up our security around here. See what spells you can find to protect us, and see what loopholes they might be exploiting. I want them to get into the building, but I don\u2019t want them to be able to kill me without warning.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll help Wes,\u201d Fred said.<\/p>\n
Angel nodded his consent. \u201cGunn, gather anyone from your sources here to defend the building if it is overrun. I need your strength this time, not your brain.\u201d<\/p>\n
Gunn frowned darkly, but nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat should I do, Angelcakes?\u201d Lorne asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cSee if you can figure out who on our staff is the betrayer, and how they plan to get in.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTall order, Boss, but I\u2019ll work on it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGood. Everyone get to work. We\u2019ll meet back here tomorrow to discuss our progress. Cordy and I are meeting with Connor in a couple of days to find out what he\u2019s learned. We need to have a plan by then. A good plan.\u201d<\/p>\n
As his motley crew walked out the door, Angel felt a wave of apprehension wash over him. For the first time, he had doubts about their ability to succeed. They\u2019d all be tested severely. Would they come through for him when it mattered most?<\/p>\n
Only time would tell.<\/p>\n
Part 50<\/b><\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s the day after tomorrow, Jace,\u201d Eve said, staring him down and willing him to put her off again. \u201cI called him this morning. He wasn\u2019t there. We gonow<\/i>.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jace smiled at her indulgently. \u201cI know, baby. That\u2019s why I came prepared.\u201d He whipped open his duster in the way of a street vendor selling watches, his grin just as smarmy. A myriad of weapons glinted in the dim light of the warehouse.<\/p>\n
Eve\u2019s smile lit up her whole face, her eyes sparkling with devilish excitement as she strode over to him and stuck her hands inside his jacket. She ran her fingers over the weapons strapped to his hips and sides, then drew her hands over his back and clutched him to her. She felt the hilt of his sword press up against her hip and she sighed, closing her eyes and leaning her head on his chest.<\/p>\n
\u201cI knew you wouldn\u2019t let me down,\u201d she said softly squeezing him. She was practically choking on the syrup she fed into her voice. If it hadn\u2019t been for his shitty mentoring, they wouldn\u2019t even need<\/i> to go after the damn kid.<\/p>\n
Finally, she pulled away from him. \u201cI\u2019ve been checking around. He hasn\u2019t been to see his granny or lil\u2019 sis. Last sighting I had of him was entering his apartment the night we saw him last. He disappeared into the night.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jace nodded. \u201cThere\u2019s this place he goes to when he wants to be alone. He took me there once. That\u2019s where we\u2019ll look for him first.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLook for who?\u201d<\/p>\n
Jace and Eve whipped around so fast they stumbled. A thunderstorm gathered on Eve\u2019s face as she took in the infuriatingly nonchalant pose of their errant ward.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere the hell have you been?\u201d she growled, forcing tears to flow into her eyes and her face to transform into that of a worried aunt. She crossed the room, a look of utter relief mixed with fading fear for Connor\u2019s life. \u201cWe\u2019ve been so worried about you!\u201d<\/p>\n
Jace hung back, finally closing his mouth as Connor walked toward them. The look in the boy\u2019s eyes was disconcerting.<\/p>\n
\u201cHi, Jace,\u201d Connor said quietly, a smile stretching at the corners of his mouth just briefly.<\/p>\n
\u201cConnor,\u201d Jace said, nodding. \u201cWe were worried about you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Connor sighed, flopping into a folding chair they\u2019d kept nearby for rest during sparring practice. His movement held every ounce of the carefree collegiate. He looked up at them and shrugged. \u201cI needed to be alone for awhile. Get my shit together, you know?\u201d<\/p>\n
They just stared at him. Connor rolled his eyes and stood to his feet. \u201cJeez, you two are worse than a couple of prison guards. It\u2019s not like I broke parole or something. I wanted to be at top form for this thing we\u2019ve got planned. I can\u2019t fight the world\u2019s biggest badass and not be at my best, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRight,\u201d Eve said, looking at him warily. \u201cWhere did you go?\u201d<\/p>\n
He nodded in Jace\u2019s direction. \u201cThat place he was talking about when I came in. There\u2019s a nature conservatory not too far out of the city. I needed to relax. To meditate. To train in my own way. You said we had two weeks until the full moon, so I was trying to use it to my best advantage.\u201d<\/p>\n
Connor relaxed inside a bit as he watched the tension start to drain out of Eve\u2019s shoulders. \u201cLook,\u201d he said, raising his hands in a gesture of peace. \u201cI knew if I told you I wanted to leave, you wouldn\u2019t let me. But I had to. You guys don\u2019t get it; sometimes there\u2019s this psycho me that just wants to break out, and I had to smash him back in again.\u201d<\/p>\n
Eve shot him a funny look, undoubtedly remembering the Connor before the memory change. Finally, she nodded. \u201cWe probably wouldn\u2019t have let you go. But at least you could\u2019ve left a note saying that you would be back. I was starting to think that you\u2019d gone to screw it all up.\u201d<\/p>\n
Connor laughed. \u201cWhat, and miss out on the action? No way. I\u2019m ready to fight the big bad evil.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGood,\u201d Jace said, standing up straight. \u201cSo how about we train?\u201d<\/p>\n
A defiant chin raise was his only answer. Connor set up to fight, dropping his backpack at his feet and standing at the ready. \u201cBring it, old man.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jace stepped up, an unreadable expression on his face. His fist shot out, catching Connor in the chin and throwing him across the room and into a pole.<\/p>\n
Breathless, Connor stared wide-eyed at Jace. \u201cGuess somebody\u2019s been eating their spinach,\u201d he joked, not quite believing the obvious. \u201cLooks like I\u2019ll have to break out the big guns.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m ready, superkid.\u201d<\/p>\n
Connor shivered. Somehow that nickname now had a deadly ring to it.<\/p>\n
Part 51<\/b><\/p>\n
\u201cSo how\u2019s he doing?\u201d<\/p>\n
Anxiety colored every word Angel spoke. He squirmed in his seat, Cordy\u2019s hand on his thigh the only thing keeping him from jumping up and pacing in the aisle near their booth.<\/p>\n
Spike sat across from them, calm and collected in his trademark duster. Defiant against California\u2019s non-smoking laws, he pulled out a cigarette and lit it, knowing that the late-night diner probably wouldn\u2019t kick him out for it.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s doing well, all things considered,\u201d he finally said, his face serious. \u201cGave me a bit of a scare there at first, though.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d Cordy sounded anxious, too.<\/p>\n
Spike shrugged. \u201cYou shoulda seen the act he put on for them the first day he showed up at the warehouse. Psycho bitch was there with her puppy. Both of \u2018em looked like they\u2019d just seen a ghost, but the kid played it cool. So cool I thought he\u2019d been foolin\u2019 us the whole time.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel frowned, a crease forming between his eyes. \u201cYou don\u2019t think he was?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI would\u2019ve,\u201d Spike said, knocking his cigarette against an empty coffee mug and dropping the ashes into it, \u201cbut that was before I saw him a few nights ago. He was crying.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWas he okay?\u201d Cordy asked.<\/p>\n
Spike nodded. \u201cWasn\u2019t hurt or anything. Just sad, I guess. He had a picture in front of him. His back was to me and I could see it; was of the two of you and him as a baby. I realized then how conflicted he is. He\u2019s loyal to you, I think, but they\u2019re messing with his head pretty bad.\u201d<\/p>\n
Shoulder\u2019s sagging in relief and weariness, Angel nodded. \u201cThanks for looking out for him, Spike.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe isn\u2019t hard to watch. Does pretty much the same thing every day. I think he\u2019s making it easy on me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe knows you\u2019re there?\u201d<\/p>\n
Shrugging, Spike dropped his cigarette butt in the cup and reached for his drink, taking a large swallow. \u201cThink so. He kinda looks over his shoulder like he knows I\u2019m there. Always a little smirk on his face when he does that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cordy leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table. \u201cWhat are they having him do during the day? Do you know more about their plans?\u201d<\/p>\n
Spike shook his head. \u201cNo, but Eve\u2019s boy toy got a burst of juice from someplace. He\u2019s all fired up and is giving Connor a run for his money. The kid\u2019s kinda scary when he\u2019s fighting him. Reminds me of Angelus.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t say that,\u201d Angel growled. The last thing he wanted his son to inherit was anything from his alter ego.<\/p>\n
Spike just shrugged again. \u201cCan\u2019t help it. It\u2019s true. Anyway, I think they\u2019re trying to mess with his head. Make him hate the sight of the guy or something. And since he looks so much like you\u2014\u201d he trailed off.<\/p>\n
Cordy sat back again and sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. \u201cI\u2019m worried about him.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe all are,\u201d Angel said softly.<\/p>\n
Spike shifted in his seat uncomfortably. \u201cI think you should be worried. He\u2019s been changing, little by little. I think he\u2019s still on our side, but he smiles less and less. I think they\u2019re starting to get to him.\u201d<\/p>\n
Angel bit back a growl. \u201cWe\u2019re meeting with him tomorrow night, though, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
Swallowing the last of his drink, Spike answered, \u201cYep. They\u2019re giving him the night off. I\u2019ve got someplace for us to meet. We should be all set.\u201d<\/p>\n
After his words died away, they sat there in silence. Nobody wanted to say anything. It seemed as though enough had already been revealed for one night.<\/p>\n
Part 52<\/b><\/p>\n
The picture wasn\u2019t even framed, but it held Connor\u2019s attention so acutely that the average observer might think it had been dipped in gold. One strong finger reached out and traced the edges of the faces in the picture, trembling. A hot tear tracked down his cheek, glittering in the moonlight that filtered through his open bedroom window.<\/p>\n
It felt crowded in this room. Stuffy. As if there weren\u2019t enough oxygen to breathe. Nothing had changed since he\u2019d been in L.A., yet everything had changed. The dreams he\u2019d experienced while sleeping in the bed on which he now sat had become his reality. He did have a vampire father. He did have a psychotic side to himself.<\/p>\n
It was that psychotic side that had him scared. His feelings were in such a jumble right now and had been since his memories had returned; clear as day and full force enough to practically knock him over backwards. He\u2019d thought, having dreamed them, that the ritual to restore his past would be relatively easy. But he hadn\u2019t been prepared for the hatred, confusion, and self-loathing of his old persona to wash over him like lava from an unexpected volcanic eruption. He\u2019d felt burned by them, the confidence his new life inspired a mere misting of cool relief, but not enough to stem the hatred that had welled up within his soul.<\/p>\n
A muscle twitched in Connor\u2019s jaw as he stoically turned his gaze back to the picture. His finger curled away from his father\u2019s face as he tried to keep the growl deep within him from escaping in a mindless, animalistic roar. A tightly coiled beast lay within his chest, demanding vengeance. Demanding retribution. Demanding punishment for the man who\u2019d given him life and then failed to protect him from the monsters in the world.<\/p>\n
Every moment, that beast within him grew larger, fueled by the fury he felt every time he battled with Jace. It had been just under a week since he\u2019d returned from L.A., a week in which he\u2019d been floored by the increase in Jace\u2019s strength. He\u2019d battled the older man with everything in his arsenal, but he\u2019d fought long and hard before he saw any progress. It was as if the Jace he\u2019d known had left and been replaced with a man who had the strength of a vampire.<\/p>\n
Connor\u2019s eyes darted away from the picture even as his fingers curled more tightly around its edges, bending the paper. Jace had the strength of Connor\u2019s father. The looks of his father. And deep within his dark brown eyes, there was a hint of the struggle that Connor had seen so plainly in Angel\u2019s gaze. Oh, Connor knew that Jace\u2019s turmoil came from a different place, but he could see that Jace was a man apart, a man who was driven by darkness now, but tempered by a conscience that wouldn\u2019t die. He could see it in Jace\u2019s eyes every time he came at him, and it fueled the pain and anger in Connor\u2019s chest.<\/p>\n
Turning to the only strategy he could think of, Connor took his fury out on this look-alike, hoping that it would fool his psychotic personality into feeling vindicated. Hoping that Connor\u2019s amalgamated self would have the strength to keep his sword in check when he faced Angel again.<\/p>\n
His new self, the one who\u2019d been loved and coddled by the Rileys, lay huddled in a corner of his mind, cowering away from the beast. And every day, as his darker side grew stronger, and the settled, happy person he\u2019d been got weaker.<\/p>\n
Standing, Connor moved to the head of his bed and slipped the picture under his pillow. Looking at it only brought him pain. Only reminded him that at one time, the people in that picture had loved him, yet let him be destroyed. They said they loved him, but they\u2019d lied to him.<\/p>\n
They were coming tonight. Angel, Cordy, and Spike were going to meet him in less than an hour to discuss Eve and Jace\u2019s plans. Something within Connor recoiled at the thought of betraying Jace and Eve. It made no sense, though. A week ago, that same conscience had rebelled at the idea of betraying Angel and Cordelia.<\/p>\n
Connor had never been so confused in his life. He felt like a rubber band being fought over by two hyperactive fifth graders, pulled in two directions so strongly that he didn\u2019t know how to deal with it.<\/p>\n
A million questions plagued him. Did Angel really deserve to die like Eve claimed? He had committed untold atrocities in his years as a vampire. The sense of justice instilled in him by Holtz wouldn\u2019t allow him to dismiss that past. And did Connor really love his father? Or was it all just another lie? Was he taking the love he\u2019d felt for Mr. Riley and turning into a false sense of love for Angel?<\/p>\n
Either way, the hate from his past had been eating away at the loyalty he\u2019d felt toward Angel, like the darkness filling a sky after the sunset. He could barely remember the warmth of his father\u2019s love from just a few days ago, and as the midnight in his life wore on, Connor wondered if it had ever really existed.<\/p>\n