{"id":1134,"date":"2015-06-22T11:11:29","date_gmt":"2015-06-22T10:11:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/dir\/?p=1134"},"modified":"2015-12-11T09:43:15","modified_gmt":"2015-12-11T09:43:15","slug":"loves-true-face-1-4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/2015\/06\/22\/loves-true-face-1-4\/","title":{"rendered":"Love’s True Face. 1-4"},"content":{"rendered":"

Title: Love’s True Face<\/b>\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/a>\"LTF<\/a>
\nAuthor: <\/b>CordeliasDestiny
\nPosted: <\/b>05\/18\/04
\n<\/a>Email<\/b><\/a>
\nRating: <\/b>NC17
\nCategory: <\/b>
\nContent: <\/b>C\/A, W\/F, S\/B implied
\nSummary: <\/b>Someone\u2019s trying to use Connor to kill Angel, and Cordelia has to come back from the dead to stop it.
\nSpoilers: <\/b>\u201cYou\u2019re Welcome\u201d; minor mention of events post \u201cYou\u2019re Welcome\u201d
\nDisclaimer: <\/b>The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
\nDistribution: <\/b>Anywhere, just let me know.
\nNotes: <\/b>This is my take on what should\u2019ve happened after Cordy \u201cdied.\u201d Blecch. Can\u2019t even say it without putting it in quotes. *sigh* You might want to remember that as far as Connor knows, he grew up normal in suburban America, so his way of speaking will be different than we saw in S3-4, at least at first. Don\u2019t be surprised if you hear Connor use current \u201cteenagery\u201d phrases in this story.
\nThanks\/Dedication: <\/b>To Lysa, whose great suggestions kept me from sinking in my own literary quicksand.
\nFeedback: <\/b>Of course I want feedback!<\/p>\n

\n

Book I: Faith<\/p>\n

I show you doubt, to prove that faith exists.
\nRobert Browning<\/i><\/p>\n

Seeds of faith are always within us; sometimes it takes a crisis to nourish and encourage their growth.
\nSusan Taylor<\/i><\/p>\n

Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to.
\nGeorge Seaton<\/i><\/p>\n

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.
\nMartin Luther King Jr.<\/i><\/p>\n

Faith makes the discords of the present the harmonies of the future.
\nRobert Collyer<\/i><\/p>\n

Life without faith in something is too narrow a space to live.
\nGeorge Lancaster Spalding<\/i><\/p>\n

Part 1<\/b> – San Francisco, CA<\/i><\/p>\n

A silent figure watched from the shadows of the abandoned warehouse as her lover trained their prot\u00e9g\u00e9. Swords clinked against each other with a metallic harshness that should\u2019ve made her grimace, but it didn\u2019t. The sound merely increased her pleasure, their obvious skill soothing her need for reassurance.<\/p>\n

The kid would do nicely.<\/p>\n

The lover of the silent observer, Jace, caught an opening and tripped his opponent, sending him sprawling to the ground, the young man\u2019s sword clattering out of reach. In an instant he was over him, his boot on the teen\u2019s chest, sword at his throat. The smile on his face was the only indication that the young man\u2019s life was not really in danger.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re getting better, boy.\u201d Jace\u2019s voice reverberated off the dingy metal walls of the warehouse. Removing his boot from the young man\u2019s chest, he reached down to help him up.<\/p>\n

\u201cFinally,\u201d the young man said with a smirk. \u201cI was starting to think I\u2019d never beat you, \u2018cause you\u2019re pretty fast for an old fart. It was getting embarrassing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGee, thanks.\u201d Jace\u2019s tone was dry, but he cancelled out the sarcasm by clapping a hand on his young opponent\u2019s back affectionately. \u201cYou\u2019re turning into quite the superkid. You\u2019d never know now that you haven\u2019t always been so strong. You do me proud, Connor.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Jace. I hope I can repay you someday for everything you\u2019ve done for me.\u201d He smiled widely at his mentor, then looked down and frowned at a smudge on his blade.<\/p>\n

Jace\u2019s eyes darkened a fraction and his jaw twitched. Connor was buffing the surface of his sword with his shirtsleeve and didn\u2019t notice the dark cloud that flitted across his mentor\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure we can figure out something.\u201d Jace\u2019s voice was gruff as his grip tightened on Connor\u2019s shoulder. \u201cBut you have to kick my ass first.\u201d<\/p>\n

Connor\u2019s eyes came up to meet with his, a wide grin splitting his face. \u201cNo problem, old man,\u201d he laughed, his sword sparkling once more and at the ready. \u201cYour ass is grass.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll see about that,\u201d Jace said, the shadow on his face now replaced by the pure pleasure of battle as they fought again.<\/p>\n

In the shadows, she smiled at the exchange. Connor would most definitely repay his mentor and his unseen benefactress. He would repay a higher price than he\u2019d ever dreamed.<\/p>\n

He would get an opportunity that few young men ever had: he would asked to kill his own father.<\/p>\n

\n

Part 2<\/b> –The afterlife<\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cPlease? Pretty please with a cherry on top?\u201d Cordy\u2019s request, amazingly enough, was made without the hint of a whine, but David was annoyed by it nonetheless.<\/p>\n

\u201cCordelia,\u201d David\u2019s deep voice was calm. \u201cYou know I can\u2019t fulfill your request. Just like I couldn\u2019t do it yesterday or every other day since you\u2019ve been here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Shining with sudden tears, her face fell. \u201cBut he needs me, David, I know he does.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her guardian let his eyes soften a fraction while powerful arms stayed in place, crossed firmly over his chest. \u201cThat is of no consequence, little one, and you know it. The Powers have decided that you belong here, and he belongs there. There are no other options for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

When the tears didn\u2019t work, she switched tactics again. Crossed arms in a mockery of his pose and a dramatic stamp of her foot made her look like an impatient four-year-old. \u201cEnough with the overbearing big brother act, Davy. I\u2019m getting really tired of waiting for you to come to your senses. You\u2019re starting to make me angry.\u201d<\/p>\n

Marching up to him, she poked his formidable chest and placed a hand on her hip. \u201cAn angry Cordelia is not fun to be around, let me tell you.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was no doubt in David\u2019s mind that her claim was true, but her threat fell on deaf ears. If he hadn\u2019t been so annoyed, her little display would\u2019ve made him chuckle. She glowed when she was angry, her eyes shooting sparks, and it had entertained him immensely to watch her like this at first.<\/p>\n

At first.<\/p>\n

But day after endless day, she came back to him, begging to be sent \u201chome,\u201d as she called it. Sent back to Angel. Back to the imperfect champion that she loved. Every damn day she begged him until she either stomped off in anger or broke down in tears. Occasionally, she would just look at him with sad eyes, then turn and walk away dejectedly, and those were the worst days of all. The days when his heart broke to watch her suffer. This was Heaven, for St. Peter\u2019s sake. Couldn\u2019t she just be happy?<\/p>\n

Apparently not.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan\u2019t you just go to the Powers and tell them that I have to go back? Make up something? Please, David,\u201d she begged, her hand reaching out to touch his elbow.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t, Cordelia. You belong here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hate it here!\u201d she shouted, gesturing to the unearthly beautiful surroundings. The two of them stood in the softest of meadows, the colors of the wildflowers bright and cheerful, the mountains behind them snowcapped and sparkling, the stream wending nearby with its glittering waterfalls and silvery jumping fish. Cordy turned her nose up at it all as if it were nothing more than the destroyed remains of a war zone.<\/p>\n

\u201cI will leave this place, David, one way or another,\u201d she said softly, and David\u2019s eyes jerked to hers as he heard the threat in her voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou wouldn\u2019t let yourself get that far, Cordelia, you can\u2019t.\u201d Worry sent wrinkles into his smooth, agelessly handsome face.<\/p>\n

She shook her head sadly. \u201cI can. You yourself told me what happens to heavenly beings when they give up hope. When they don\u2019t enjoy being here.\u201d<\/p>\n

A terse nod was her only acknowledgement that David had heard her.<\/p>\n

David\u2019s mind was in turmoil. He\u2019d told her the truth, hoping it would scare her into putting her life behind her and move on to starting her afterlife in peace. But instead, his words had given her a sense of strength, of power. It had given her a bargaining chip, because, annoyed as he was, he loved her and would do anything to keep her from disappearing. Do anything to keep her from sinking through the floor of heaven and into the depths of hell.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou told me that when spirits give up hope, they are cast into the other place, doomed to torment for ignoring their gift.\u201d<\/p>\n

Looking away from her, he set his mouth in a grim line.<\/p>\n

With the finesse of a courtroom lawyer, she continued to press her point. \u201cI come here every day to beg you, David, because I see something in your eyes that gives me hope. That maybe, someday, if I push hard enough, you\u2019ll go to bat for me and get me back where I belong. Back with the man I love more than anything else, even myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

A deep breath shook her before she continued. \u201cBut you\u2019re starting to make me doubt you, Davy. You\u2019re starting to make me think that you\u2019ll never give in, and that makes me want to disappear. This,\u201d she said, gesturing at the paradise around them, \u201cis torture already. Being here without him and exchanging it for eternal torment in a slightly hotter place wouldn\u2019t be all that much different.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jolted by her determination, he panicked for a moment. She didn\u2019t really mean it. Did she?<\/p>\n

Turning to look at her finally, he walked over to her and placing his big hands on her shoulders. Magnificent wings unfurled behind him and glistened in the sunlight. \u201cI don\u2019t have that kind of power, little one, and you know that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her hands came up to encircle his wrists, squeezing. \u201cBut you know who does. And you can talk to them for me.\u201d Her voice broke as her eyes filled with tears again. \u201cPlease, David. Please!\u201d<\/p>\n

An uncertain look passed over David\u2019s face, and Cordelia pressed her point, eager for the opening. \u201cI need him, David, and he needs me. We didn\u2019t have enough time. We barely even said how we felt about each other, and then I was gone. You don\u2019t understand him, David. Without me, he\u2019ll go all dark and wonky. And without him, I don\u2019t exist. I can\u2019t exist. Not without knowing what we could\u2019ve had.\u201d<\/p>\n

David wanted to ask her why she\u2019d agreed to being released from her visions in the first place, but she\u2019d already answered him weeks ago. She\u2019d said that she thought it was for the best. That Angel could get on without her and that he didn\u2019t really love her. But then at the end she\u2019d kissed him, and she realized what a huge mistake she was making. But by then it was too late. She\u2019d already made the deal and now she was stuck.<\/p>\n

He squeezed her shoulders before releasing her. Stepping back, he gave her a wry smile. \u201cI\u2019ll see what I can do.\u201d<\/p>\n

David barely got the words out before he was nearly knocked over by a lunging Cordelia. Her arms wrapped around him, face pressed to his chest as her tears soaked the front of his gossamer tunic.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you,\u201d she said through her tears. \u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t promise anything, Cordelia,\u201d David warned. \u201cBut I\u2019ll try.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s enough, for now,\u201d she said, pulling back. \u201cJust let me know who else I can annoy, and I\u2019ll see that it\u2019s done.\u201d<\/p>\n

A groan of dread escaped him. God help them all if she actually figured out how to contact his superiors. Heaven would never be the same again.<\/p>\n

\n

Part 3<\/b> – Wolfram & Hart<\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cAngel! Will you please pay attention?\u201d<\/p>\n

The annoyance in Wesley\u2019s tone made Angel jump, as if he\u2019d been startled to hear the other man speak. The only thing that had changed from the moment before was the volume of Wesley\u2019s voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Wes, I guess I\u2019m just preoccupied.\u201d The vampire wouldn\u2019t meet Wesley\u2019s eyes. \u201cWhat was it again?\u201d<\/p>\n

Wesley sighed, closing his notes and gathering his books together. \u201cIt\u2019s not that important, Angel. Obviously, you aren\u2019t able to concentrate right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d Angel stood up and walked around the conference table to stand next to him. \u201cI can do it. Just start over again. I promise I\u2019ll pay attention.\u201d<\/p>\n

Wesley shook his head. \u201cAngel, we\u2019ve had this conversation nearly every day for months now. And every day, you do the same thing.\u201d Running his fingers through his short hair, he sighed again. \u201cLosing her hit all of us hard, Angel. But we managed to move on.\u201d<\/p>\n

Angel growled at this, his hands clenching at his sides as Wesley\u2019s insensitive comment hit him in a weak spot. \u201cYou weren\u2019t in love with her, Wesley,\u201d Angel said menacingly. \u201cWhat if Fred had been the one to die like this?\u201d<\/p>\n

Wesley\u2019s face whitened at the thought. They\u2019d almost lost Fred, just recently. She\u2019d almost opened a sarcophagus that would have\u2014God, even now, he couldn\u2019t think about it without shivering in fright. Thank God he\u2019d been there. If he hadn\u2019t\u2014<\/p>\n

\u201cI see your point,\u201d Wesley finally said reluctantly. He wouldn\u2019t trade his new love with Fred for the world. He\u2019d already wasted so much time worrying about it, just like Angel and Cordelia had done. But at least he and Fred could live out their feelings. Angel and Cordy couldn\u2019t. Not anymore.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll try to save my depression for off-work hours, okay?\u201d Angel said bitterly, sinking back down into a chair. He ran a hand over his face, rubbing the space between his eyebrows. \u201cI just can\u2019t forget about her, Wes. I loved her so much more than I ever thought I did, and I didn\u2019t realize it until\u2014\u201d his voice broke.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou just need time, Angel. Time to get over her. Time to heal.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll never get over her. Never.\u201d He refused to. She didn\u2019t deserve to be forgotten. \u201cBut I\u2019ll try to get on with my life.\u201d He looked up at him determinedly. \u201cI will.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

Part 4<\/b> – San Francisco<\/i><\/p>\n

They were after him.<\/i><\/p>\n

Big, horrible monsters, their faces contorted in evil glee, their fangs dripping blood as they lunged for him. He looked down at himself, caught off-guard for a moment at the sight of his body clothed in animal skins, but recovered quickly as the first creature sprang at him. He held his knife tightly in his hand, stabbing and jabbing, until the creature howled in pain and rage. He moved, with superhuman speed and strength, until he had reduced his opponents to dust.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell done, son.\u201d<\/p>\n

The voice came from behind him, punctuated by clapping.<\/p>\n

He felt himself straightening up, then turning to face the old man behind him. \u201cI am glad you are pleased, father.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are ready to face Angelus, boy.\u201d<\/p>\n

Connor\u2019s dream self shook at the thought. \u201cI will make you proud.\u201d His shoulders squared as he straightened up.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course you will.\u201d The old man\u2019s face was determined. \u201cAngelus will suffer, and you will see to it that he is destroyed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Something deep within his real self rebelled at the thought, but Connor pressed it down.<\/p>\n

Suddenly, a light flashed and he was somewhere else, in a store of some kind. He felt undeniable rage and sadness, anger and pain, course through him. He looked down, his hand holding an explosive detonator. Around him, people trembled, whimpering, explosives attached to their bodies. Almost against his will, he turned and saw her, her body strapped with explosives. He felt love for her, desire for her, pain at her rejection.<\/p>\n

And then hewas there.<\/i><\/p>\n

His father. His real father, not the old man that had raised him. This was the father that he loathed and loved all in the same breath. The father that had given him life but had lost him. The father that had unintentionally confused him, had taken away his sense of identity even as his surrogate father manipulated him with his staged death. God, he was so confused. He hurt so badly that he just wanted to end it all. End his very existence until he was no more.<\/p>\n

\u201cConnor? Son?\u201d His father\u2019s voice penetrated the pain for a moment, then increased it. He pushed a button on the device in his hand and something behind his father exploded. Everyone jumped, and a girl in the group of hostages began to cry softly.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou might not want to move. Everyone’s rigged. Can’t save ’em all, dad. Don’t know who’s gonna be first. Could be any one of ’em.\u201d Connor looked down, noticing for the first time that he, too, was wired with explosives. \u201cCould be me. Could be her,\u201d he said, pointing to the young woman who meant so much to both of them.<\/p>\n

The next few minutes were a blur, all pain and emotion as he and his father talked, then fought. In another instant, Connor was on his back, his thigh burning, his father poised above him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI really do love you, Connor.\u201d His father\u2019s face was sad.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo what are you going to do about it?\u201d Connor said, almost beside himself.<\/p>\n

\u201cProve it.\u201d His father\u2019s hand raised, a knife glinting in the light, then descending in a deadly arc toward his son\u2019s throat.<\/p>\n

Connor\u2019s mouth opened on a scream, the sound filling the night.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d<\/p>\n

Connor shot up in bed, panting, his body covered in sweat. He raised his hands to his forehead, rocking back and forth, trying to calm himself. It was a dream. Just a dream. It had to be a dream.<\/p>\n

So why did it feel so real?<\/p>\n

Part 5<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

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