{"id":10736,"date":"2016-12-04T20:26:20","date_gmt":"2016-12-04T20:26:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/?p=10736"},"modified":"2016-12-04T20:43:53","modified_gmt":"2016-12-04T20:43:53","slug":"nameless","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/goteamfiction.com\/index.php\/2016\/12\/04\/nameless\/","title":{"rendered":"Nameless"},"content":{"rendered":"

Title: Nameless.<\/b>
\nAuthor: <\/b>Califi<\/em>
\nPosted: <\/b>19 Sept 06
\nEmail<\/b><\/a>
\nRating: <\/b>R
\nCategory: <\/b>Angsty drabble – First of four… so far.
\nContent: <\/b>C & A
\nSummary: <\/b>Some things you regret…
\nSpoilers: <\/b>S2 based on a scene in Disharmony & AUed.
\nDisclaimer: <\/b>The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
\nDistribution: <\/b>AA, Anyone else just let me know
\nNotes: <\/b>I wrote this short on my LJ yesterday after listening to a song I crush totally. (Ugly Side by Blue October). It has Beige Angel voice down to a T, so I admit to listening to it a lot. Don’t normally post my beige fic here, but as this is a short, and started life on my LJ. Hope you enjoy…
\nThanks\/Dedication:<\/b>
\nFeedback:\u00a0<\/b>Is always nice.<\/p>\n

\n

There are a few variations on the word regret. One is to regret your actions \u2026another is regretting not seeing them through…<\/p>\n

Angel stood still and silent in the cleaned up lobby, his attention focused on only one of the humans once again occupying his home.<\/p>\n

She had no idea how much he\u2019d still been there.<\/p>\n

When wanting back in. Needing the light of her smile.<\/p>\n

When on the edge of the precipice.<\/p>\n

Those were times he wanted things from her that would have chilled the marrow of her bones \u2026 initially.<\/p>\n

They outweighed the acceptable, understandable, possibly forgivable ones.<\/p>\n

She had thought he\u2019d forgotten her when he\u2019d pushed her out; when the darkness overwhelmed him. But he\u2019d never have done that. He couldn\u2019t. She was too deep in him.<\/p>\n

Would the knowledge have lessened the rigidity of her spine he now observed through shuttered eyes?<\/p>\n

Knowing he\u2019d stalked her, watched her- spent hours outside her window resisting the urge to enter; each time feeling his resolve weaken?<\/p>\n

And she\u2019d never find out.<\/p>\n

As accepting as Cordelia Chase was, Angel knew she would have never been able to understand- never mind forgive his near-actions and not so pleasant thoughts regarding her over the past few months.<\/p>\n

Especially his final thoughts and near-actions before his epiphany.<\/p>\n

Even as he stepped closer, readying himself to face her properly, to apologise, his thoughts lingered on that most damning secret of all- more damning than his night of meaningless sex with Darla.<\/p>\n

The few hours he\u2019d spent outside Cordelia\u2019s door earlier that night fighting a raging inner battle before finally managing to walk away.<\/p>\n

And as he now hesitated, mouth opening then closing with a dry swallow, it hit him again that if he hadn\u2019t walked away when he did, or if he had succeeded through Darla…<\/p>\n

It would have been Angelus standing right behind Cordelia.
\n~*~<\/p>\n

Califi<\/b><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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