Unexpected Surprises. 1

Title: Unexpected Surprises
Author: ficbitch82 (aka angelicgal82 aka Christie)
Rating: PG-13
Category: Humour
Content: A/C, F/G
Summary: Cordelia’s parents pay a visit… And uhm… Find out… THINGS
Spoilers: Up to and including Couplet, only Cordelia didn’t do that naughty thing at the end of Couplet…
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: Please ask first
Notes: After finishing “Don’t Let The Bed Bugs Bite” I need happies..
Thanks/Dedication:To all the people who’ve given me feedback throughout this story – thanks *ever* so much! LOL… Thanks!!!
Feedback:Love it, need it, crave it… “It’s like a Sickness…”

Part 1

“Why do I have to go?” Asked Cordelia, frowning. Things with Angel had been… Well, tense to say the least. After the little ballet thing (little? Who the hell was she kidding? She’d almost been on top of him…

She’d almost given him a happy! Well, he’d been closer to – details weren’t the point.) The point was that Fred and Gunn had gone out for the night, presumably to somewhere happy where they could sit and smooch all over each other.

Blergh. Happy couples. Not that Cordelia wasn’t happy per se… It was just she was… Well, cynical, bitchy and just that teeny little bit jealous.

Of course, this was entirely her own fault. She’d been able to go off on the holiday of a lifetime and instead, she’d returned, handed the money back to Angel and said that Catalina just wasn’t her style.

Besides… Pfft! Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Well, the bikini at least. And Catalina was boring in the summer – it wasn’t like anyone would KNOW she was lying. Like Wes was a frequent visitor to the place… Yeah, she could just see him in his two piece and…

Ewwww! Scary visual place.

Shaking out of her reverie, Cordelia looked at Wesley, “Why can’t YOU go? I mean, I can stay here and be book guy… I can look up words and stuff. Give me words!”


“Wesley, I don’t WANT to… You go! As Senior Associate, I get a say in this, right?”

“Normally, yes, but I’m afraid that…”

“The demon won’t hurt you, Wesley. You said yourself Angel killed it…”

“I’m afraid I’m rather close with deciphering this prophecy and would rather spend my time on this rather than wasting it on something YOU could be helping Angel with. Cordelia, I realise things have been rather tense between the two of you and…”

“RATHER TENSE?” Asked Cordelia, “Wesley, we almost got groiny with one another! I can’t even train in case…”

“In case feelings overload…”

“No, in case he stiffens up again!”

Wesley blushed accordingly, “Cordelia, you and Angel must work side by side, I feel it best if you go now to assist Angel in the disposal of this demon.”


“No buts, Cordelia.” Said Wesley, shaking his head. “I imagine relationships between you and Angel are rather strained…”

“Y’got that right…”

“But nonetheless,” He continued regardless of the intrusion, “I feel it best if you and Angel deal with this in a mature and grown up manner. Now go.”


“Cordelia.” His voice would brook no argument. Deep down, she knew he was right but like she’d admit that!

“Fine! Fine!”


“Ugh, demons! Could there be anything less disgusting?” Asked Cordelia, pulling what could only be described as parts along the sewer floor. “Oh, wait. There couldn’t be.” She stated, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“You are half demon.” Angel reminded her, dragging his own parts across the sewer floor.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Huffed the brunette, suddenly dropping the demon piece she was carrying, “Are you saying I’m disgusting?”

“No, I…”

“I am NOT disgusting! And for the record, Mister, I only smell like this because I’m in this place with you!”

“Hey…” Said Angel, “I said you could go home!”

“Are you saying I’m useless now?” She asked, annoyed.

“What? No! You’re twisting my words!” Said Angel, jumping to his defense. Shifting demon parts was shifting demon parts but arguing with Cordelia was *really* bad.

“Oh,” And so it began. “First, I’m disgusting…”

“I never…”

“Then, I’m useless.”


“Now I’m a Word Twister?” She asked, her voice dangerously low. Threatening. Very ‘Cordelia-When-She-Was-Pissed’ like.

“Cordelia, I…”

“Well, fine! You can just go ahead and shift these… These… Demon guts alone!”

Assessing the situation, Angel watched her retreating form. Watched the stomp that had been there with Gunn when he’d suggested her appetite had been large. Watched as her hands rested on those perfect hips. Heard the ‘hmph’ as she reached the end of the sewer tunnel.

And it was then that Angel realised something was very wrong. Cordelia was gone. Leaving him behind to shift a huge demon, leaving him behind to wonder what the hell had happened in those last two minutes when things had just escalated from absolutely nothing. Angel sighed.

First, the demon. And then, Cordelia.


He’d once been accused of less than stealthy entrances. If making an impression such as this was anything to go by then the way the client looked at him was evidence enough for the fact that Angel wasn’t likely to get the case.

Being careful not to poke himself with his sword (that was not so deftly tucked into his jacket), Angel gave what could almost be considered a brooding nod. He wanted to find Cordelia, not play ‘Stare Me Out’ with the glowery guy in front of him.
“Angel, I presume.” Barked the man.

“Depends who wants to know.” Angel was NOT in the mood.

His eyes darkened and he took in Angel’s posture, deeming him automatically unsuitable. For what, the job? Or something else? “If you’re always like this with potential clients, I’m surprised you get work at all.” He growled.

Angel frowned, “Well, if I want tips from you on how to run my business I’ll be sure to give you a call, Mr…”

“Chase.” Said the man, simply. “Aaron Chase. I believe my daughter works for you.”

It was then, that Angel saw the woman sitting next to him, a striking older version of his best friend. It was then, he saw Cordelia, standing at the door, her mouth agape, just staring at Angel – the look in her eyes unmistakable.

You are *So* dead.

Angel gulped.

Part 2.

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