Part 9
“Are you boys being good down here?”
“I’m still evil.”
“I’m sorry, sweetie. Did I hurt your feelings?” She arched a brow when she spotted the punching bag lying on the floor. “Did the mean bag hurt your feelings too?”
“I guess I don’t know my own strength these days.”
“Uh huh.” She picked up her practice sword. “I thought I’d join you guys for a workout. Which one of you is man enough to take me on?”
“Thanks Luv but one ass kicking from you was enough. I’m sure Angelus would like a rematch.”
“How about it, evil boy?”
“Sure. It sounds like someone needs a comeuppance.”
“Bring it on.”
Spike settled on the stairs. He watched as the lovers squared off against each other.
“So the soul was holding you back, huh? Talk is cheap. It’s time to show me what ya got.”
“Don’t worry, Cordy. I’m perfectly willing to let you cry on my shoulders after I knock you on your ass.”
“Are you two gonna gab all day or are you gonna fight?”
Cordelia’s response was to attack. Angelus carefully blocked her blows but didn’t return them. “Is my evil vampire holding back? Trying to save face perhaps? Maybe if you don’t actually try then it’s not like you really got your ass beat by your girlfriend? Again.”
Angelus caved at her taunts and launched his attacks. He still held back a little. He didn’t want to hurt her. *I have turned into a poof!*
What started out as play grew intense. Neither was able to get the upper hand. Cordelia tried to stay focused but slowly her mind drifted to the previous night. She was no longer fighting Angelus. Lilah’s voice pounded in her ears. She could hear the vampires casually discussing how they would violate her. She could feel their hands touching her. Her style changed.
Angelus noticed her eyes lost their sparkle. They darkened and her blows grew deadly. She started to radiate a combination of desperation, fear and rage. His last battle against the slayer flashed in his mind. Only this time he was the one who didn’t want to kill.
Spike tensed as the battle raged on. Gone were the taunts and light banter.
Angelus struggled to stay ahead of her attacks. He was seriously considering crying uncle, go team or whatever else she might want to hear.
Cordelia’s mind was lost in remembrance. The feeling of having her clothes torn from her body haunted her. She could feel their cold hands holding her down. Concern for her family prevented her from fighting back, but they weren’t here now. She kicked the side of his knee.
He grunted in pain. He expected her to step back in order to take a swipe with her sword, but she stepped in slamming the handle into his temple. He fell to the ground. His sword slipped from his hands. He saw her sword descend toward his neck. He wasn’t sure if she intended to stop. “Cor?”
As if waking from a dream, her name rolling off his lips brought her crashing back to reality. She froze mid-swing. “Oh God!”
Angel heard the metal hit the floor with a clang. Cordy dropped to her knees and buried her face in his neck sobbing. His arms instinctively wrapped around her. “It’s okay. Shh. Everything is okay.”
Spike watched silently from the stairs. His feelings of guilt came rushing back with a vengeance. He should have been there to protect her.
Angelus started rocking her. He could feel her begin to relax. “I got you. Shh.” He swept her into his arms.
“Where are you taking her?”
“Upstairs. She needs to rest. She’s always taking care of everyone else. She never lets anyone take care of her.”
Cordy lifted her tearstained face. “Stop talking about me like I’m not here.”
“No fighting me. Your family is fine. You are going upstairs. You’re going to take a long hot bubble bath followed by a nap.”
“If my sweet evil vampire insists, who am I to argue?”
“I’m going to remember you said that.”
“Is there anything I can do for you?”
“I’ll be fine, Spike. Why don’t you give Wesley a hand. Feel free to torment him. It’s been forever since I teased him. He must be feeling neglected.”
“We wouldn’t want that. I’ll do my best.”
“Thanks”
***
Angelus placed her on the bed. “I’ll get your bath ready while you get undressed.” He didn’t wait for an answer.
Cordelia looked down at her clothes. She shook off her thoughts and quickly undressed being careful not to look at her naked body.
When he returned, he found her curled up on the bed. She was hugging her knees with her ankles crossed. “It’s ready.”
She rested her chin on her knees. “Thanks” She didn’t move.
“Come on. You don’t want the water to get cold.” He picked her up and carried her into the bathroom. He set her on her feet. “In you go.”
She stepped into the hot bubbly water and sat down. Hazel eyes locked with brown. “Aren’t you going to join me?”
“No. You just relax. I’ll be right outside the door.”
“OK”
Angelus lay down on the bed. He willed his body to relax. Seeing her naked form had him at the ready. He knew sex was the last thing Cordy would want. Comforting someone went against his nature. He found himself asking what his soul would do. He was tempted to go ask Spike for advice. After all, he’d taken care of someone for over a century.
Granted insanity was hardly the same as being traumatized, but any advice was better than wandering in the dark. He closed his eyes and concentrated on Cordelia. He listened to the sound of her breathing, her heartbeat and the rippling of the water. The latter did nothing to help calm him. His eyes snapped open when he heard her begin to cry.
Cordelia jumped when the bathroom door flew open. She quickly wiped her tears away. “You so need a bell.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m fine.”
“Yeah ’cause everybody cries when they’re fine.” Their eyes locked in a battle of wills.
She rolled her eyes. “It’s just…why didn’t you want to join me? Is it because..of last night?” Her tears started to flow unchecked. “You don’t want me anymore?” She curled up into a ball and rested her forehead on her knees.
“I can’t really blame you. I wouldn’t want me either.” Her head popped up at the sound of water splashing. She hadn’t heard Angelus undress but his naked body was suddenly in front of her. “Hey”
Angelus grabbed her by her waist. He pulled her toward him and turned her body to rest against his chest. “How can you think I don’t want you? I don’t want anyone but you.”
Cordy could feel him hard behind her. “You didn’t try..you’re finally unchained and you haven’t..”
“Cor, you were just through a horrible ordeal. I figured you wouldn’t want me to try anything. Being sensitive to someone’s feelings isn’t exactly easy for me. I knew I couldn’t be naked with you and control myself. I don’t want to hurt you.”
She turned her head to stare into his eyes. “I want you to touch me. I want you to make me forget. I need you to love me and make me feel clean again.”
The first kiss was gentle. His lips lightly brushed hers. His tongue came out to taste her. Her lips parted and her tongue ventured out to meet his.
He broke the kiss. Her pants tickled his skin. Her eyes were starting to sparkle a bit. “Come to bed.” A smile bloomed across her face. He stood pulling her with him. They stepped out together. He grabbed a towel and slowly dried her off, taking his time to cup and tease her flesh. “You’re so beautiful.”
She snatched the towel from his hands and mimicked his movements until he too was dry. “You make me feel beautiful.” She tossed the towel on the floor.
Angelus leaned down to kiss the tip of her nose. He slid his hand in hers and led her to their bed. Once there, he swept her into his arms and layed her on the bed before crawling in beside her. “Are you sure?”
“I’m not made of glass.”
He smiled. “I love you.”
“Then show me.”
His mouth descended. He desperately wanted to possess this strong, beautiful, headstrong, loving woman. He needed to make her his.
Cordy was desperate for his touch. Being in his arms made the world fall away. She grabbed a hand and placed it on her breast. She groaned into his mouth as his hand came alive.
He shifted so he covered her. He began trailing kisses down her body. He lightly sucked on the healing bite mark adorning her breast before moving on to suckle at a nipple.
She threaded her fingers through his hair and pressed him to her flesh. The pull of his lips sent shock waves directly to her womb.
His mouth kissed a path to the neglected breast. He rolled her nipple with his tongue careful to give it the same attention. His hand slowly tickled its way down her stomach until reaching her heat. His fingers parted her swollen folds. He growled against her breast at her wetness. His mouth soon began the same journey his fingers took.
Cordy spread her legs further as he continued his descent. Her nails clawed at the sheets. She moaned when she felt the tip of his tongue circle her clit.
Angelus had missed her taste. It had been too long since she allowed him this pleasure. His tongue and blunt teeth worked together to devour her. Her muscles began to tense. Two fingers slipped inside her. He gently stroked her inner walls as his mouth latched onto the bundle of nerves. He sucked in time with his stroking fingers until she screamed her release.
She dragged him to her tasting herself in the kiss. Her hands explored the smooth hard planes of his back. She tried to roll him over but he pressed her into the mattress.
“It’s my turn to be on top.” He planted kisses along her jaw. “I need to be inside you.”
Cordy wrapped her legs around his hips. Her hand slipped between their bodies to grip his cock. She directed him to her slick opening. “What’re you waiting for? You’re invited in.”
He slammed in to the hilt in one solid stroke. “God Cor!” He took her lips in a hard kiss as he started thrusting.
Her hips rose to meet each thrust, her nails digging into his back. Angelus gripped her hip with one hand and the back of her neck with the other, controlling her movements. It was as if he were playing her like a musical instrument but instead of music he was creating fire. He increased his pace, stoking the fire into an inferno. Her entire body tensed in anticipation.
He knew she was close. It was as if he’d always known her body. The way she wanted to be touched seemed instinctual. His mind reminded him she was his. She had accepted his claim but unbidden, his fears returned. His Cordy had almost been claimed by another vampire. His fears slowly enveloped him. He felt his fangs elongate. “Mine!”
Cordy gasped as his fangs sank into her neck, forever marking her. Her body exploded into the strongest orgasm of her young life. It was as if every cell in her body exploded in ecstasy. She hadn’t known it was possible to experience such pleasure while your heart broke a little.
His release was intense. His fangs sunk deeper ensuring his mark would be permanent. His mouth filled with her blood. Reality struck. He had marked her even though she had asked him to wait. Angelus gently extracted his fangs and lifted his head. “I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me. It’s just I..”
“I know.” She cupped his cheek. “I understand and I don’t hate you.”
Angelus breathed a sigh of relief before returning to his mark carefully cleaning away the last few drops of blood. He rolled onto his back, slipping from her body. He finally felt truly sated. He tucked her into his side and kissed her forehead. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
He hadn’t noticed the sparkle he saw return earlier had flickered out. He drifted off to sleep.
Cordelia touched her neck. She’d meant what she said. She understood why he’d done it and she didn’t hate him. She simply left out the rest. She quietly disentangled herself and climbed out of bed. As she dressed, she noticed the small smile that graced his lips as he slept.
***
Spike was reading in the office when he spotted Cordelia in the doorway. “I thought you were taking a nap?”
“Too much on my mind. Where’s Wes?”
“He went to some book store. Do you want to talk about it?”
“Last night?” He nodded. “Not really.”
Spike had noticed her scent but didn’t think anything of it until he spotted the bite on her neck. “I’ll stake him!”
She reached up and touched the mark. She blocked Spike’s path. “Don’t”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m not sure.”
“How much blood did he take? Maybe we should get some food in you?”
“Don’t worry. He didn’t take much. Physically I’m fine. I just..”
“Didn’t want him to drink from you there. Did he tell you what it means?”
“I know what it means that’s why I told him I wanted to wait until we got his soul back.”
“And he did it anyway.”
“I told him the night we chained him up why I wanted to wait. He didn’t push. Then last night happened. I understand why he didn’t want to wait anymore. Besides, what’s the point of waiting? Angel’s gone. Angelus is all I have. He’s all I’ll ever have.” Her eyes filled with tears. “What am I going to do, Spike?”
“I don’t know.”
“I’ve been dealing because I knew we’d get him back. What am I supposed to do now?”
“You said you loved him.”
“I do but is that enough? How can I ask my family to endanger themselves by accepting a soulless vampire in their lives? He doesn’t even have a chip. What happens when they do something to piss him off? Do I take him on missions? He may enjoy killing whatever demon we face but what happens when he’s near a bleeding human victim? How long can he resist human blood flavored with fear? What happens the next time the scoobies come for a visit? How long do you think it’d be before he kills Xander or Giles? Don’t even get me started on what he’d do if he ever saw Buffy again. She sent him to hell.” She collapsed into a chair.
“Being with him felt right because it was temporary.” She looked into Spike’s eyes. “I miss my best friend, my champion. I miss Angel. This is killing me, Spike. I don’t know how much longer I can be strong.” She absently began stroking her new scar. “Angel once told me that a vampire will always turn on you. It’s in their nature. I know what my breaking point is. I’ve known for a long time. Being forced to stake the man I love would break me. I don’t know how Buffy got through it.”
“You aren’t alone.” Spike pulled her out of the chair and into his arms. “Lean on me.”
Cordelia wrapped her arms around him. Neither noticed a shadow move across the lobby and go down the basement stairs to the sewer entrance. “Thanks. I think I just needed to hear myself say it.”
“What are you going to do?”
“What can I do? I love him.”
“Then it’s not hopeless.”
“What do you mean?”
“He loves you. Given time, I think he’ll do the right thing and get his soul back himself.”
“Do you really believe he’d do that for me?”
“Right now he believes he can be what you need. He’ll figure it out. He’s not as stupid as he looks.”
The corners of her mouth twitched. “Thank you for being here, Spike. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Her words made him feel as if he could finally breathe again. If he needed to at any rate.
Cordy read the turmoil in his eyes. She cupped his face. “You did not fail me. You’ve helped me stay sane.”
“You’ll get through this. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You have a life to get back to. I can’t ask you to..”
“You didn’t ask. I offered. Actually I’m telling you. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Thanks”
